I Want to Buy a Vowel

By: John Welter

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Synopsis: "I want to buy a vowel," Alfredo Santayana said to the first American he met, a pleasant-looking old white woman standing outside of a convenience store in Waxahachie, Texas. It was one of the very few English expressions Alfredo had memorized, one that might be followed by a wondrous gift. Aside from phrases like "I want to buy a vowel," Alfredo's English is very limited. But with his new job at a restaurant, this Guatemalan immigrant is learning to speak Chinese. And when rumors of Satanic activity spark hysteria in town -- and the innocent Alfredo finds himself being threatened with everything from deportation to burning at the stake -- he also begins to learn that his rich and glittering adopted country has a dark side, too. Written by the celebrated author described by The Seattle Times as "a guy who is wildly imaginative or strange or both," I Want to Buy a Vowel is both a touching novel of the immigrant experience-- and a satire that hits the jackpot.