The World According to Me

By: Jackie Mason

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Synopsis: From the book: The pages you are about to read come directly from a performance of my one-man show at the Brooks Atkinson Theatre in New York City. Picture yourself in the audience, in the first row center . . . unless you can't afford that kind of seat ... so, the balcony. But wherever you are seated and ready to enjoy this book, it is important that you read this preface, because during the course of the book I'm going to ask you questions, just like I did to my live audiences. . . . And you better be prepared to give me answers because I have a way of checking up on you. On the printed page I might sound somewhat arrogant. However, if you see me in person when I say these things you will realize that I say them without disdain, but with love and compassion. So, if you're not a schmuck you won't take it personally. If you are, it won't bother you either because you won't know the difference. To tell you the truth, I not only call a person names but get applause as well, and even a standing ovation, which in all modesty I am getting on the stage every night. When you finish this book, if you don't stand up and applaud you have either missed the humor in it or you don't appreciate it when a person gives you such big laughs for such a small price. Anyway, sit back in your seat, wherever you are . . . try to be normal, and enjoy yourself.