Stone Me

By: Mark Blake

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Synopsis: He is the Human Riff, guitarist with The Greatest Rock 'n' Roll Band in the World - and a man of Wildean sagacity and trenchancy_ 'I wouldn't warm to Chuck Berry if he was cremated next to me. ' 'I've never had problems with drugs. Only with policemen. ' On Elton John singing 'Candle in the Wind': 'Writes songs for dead blondes. ' 'Rolling Stones, I have a question: will this be your last tour?' Keith Richards: 'Yes, and the next five. ' On Ronnie Wood: 'I've known him stoned out of his brain, and I've known him straight sober. Quite honestly, there's very little difference. ' 'The strangest thing I've tried to snort? My father, I snorted my father. He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared. It went down pretty well and I'm still alive. ' On having shot Ronnie Wood's budgerigar in its cage: 'Sorry, Ronnie - I didn't think it was real. '