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Naked Came the Manatee: A Novel
by Carl HiaasenMystery where 13 Florida authors each contribute a chapter. The chapters in this book were originally serialized in The Miami Herald Tropic.
Master of the Game
by E. Gary GygaxIn "Master of the Game"< the creator of Dungeons & Dragons Gary Gygax expounds on his years of experience in playing in and running various role playing games and offers advice and suggestions to both the novice to RPGS and experts alike. He further gives an essential overview of the hobby, the industry and the various companies and products available in the late 1980s.
Goodbye Hamilton
by Catherine CooksonA continuation of Maisie's story, and she still feels the need for her imaginary horse Hamilton. Her deformed arm makes it hard for her to defend herself, and it seems that she is destined to have sorrow with a small amount of happiness.
Big Trouble
by Dave BarryA teen sneaks up to shoot a cute girl with a Squirtgun to win a high school game called Killer. Meanwhile, two hit men sneak up to kill the girl's abusive stepdad, Arthur. Arthur cheated his bosses at corrupt Penultimate, Inc., which equipped a Florida jail with automatic garage-opener gates that accidentally freed prisoners in a lightning storm. Confusion happens, witnessed by a bum named Puggy, camped in a tree in Arthur's yard.
The Garden Angel
by Mindy FriddleFrom the Book jacket: "Cutter Johanson is plucky and eccentric, nostalgic about her family's once-glorious past. In her spare time, she gardens in the family cemetery and knits hair doilies. While writing obits for the local newspaper and waiting tables at the Pancake Palace, she is desperate to ward off potential buyers from her dilapidated ancestral homestead - and goes to extreme and often hilarious lengths to succeed. Though her neighborhood has changed, even grown shabby, the folks at Father Bob's Home for Retarded Men across the street have become a sort of extended family. Cutter's home is like another character, elegiac, full of secrets, providing her with a refuge from the modern world. That is, until Cutter's sister, Ginnie, pregnant with her married lover's child, brings trouble home. Elizabeth Byers rarely ventures outside the brick ranch she shares with her husband, Daniel, a professor at Palmetto University. Agoraphobic and stricken with panic attacks, she fills her days gardening and writing her dissertation on Emily Dickinson. But one day, an anonymous call brings disturbing news that propels her into action. Elizabeth summons her courage to leave her house and drive into neighboring Sans Souci, and the disturbing, sad events that follow lead her to forge a friendship with Cutter, a stranger who reaches out to help. Cutter is losing her house, and Elizabeth is losing her husband. Surrounded by offbeat characters, the women pull together to seek sanctuary, only to plunge into a string of misadventures that will irreparably disrupt their lives - and the lives of others. This novel captures life in a down-at-the-heels small town and celebrates the power of friendship."
On Beyond Zebra!
by Dr SeussChildren learn a list of make-believe words that prove the alphabet doesn't end at Z in a poem format.
Alex, You're Glowing! (The Secret World of Alex Mack #1)
by Diana G. GallagherIt's Alex's 1st day of junior high and everything goes wrong! She can't decide what to wear. Her mother packs her lunch in a Troll lunchbox.
There's a Wocket in My Pocket
by Dr SeussBright and Early Books "... revolutionize the approach to reading for young readers. These delightful books . . . stir the imagination and create a taste for more and more reading materials." - Dr. Margaret B. Parke, Professor. Brooklyn College. The Cat in the Hat proudly presents books for the youngest of the young! The stories are brief and funny, the words are few and easy and have a happy, catchy rhythm, and the pictures are clear and colorful clues to the text.
Hally Tosis: El horrible problema de un perro
by Dav PilkeyA story in Spanish about a dog who gets into trouble.
So You Want to be President
by Judith St. George<P>That's a big job, and getting bigger But why not? Presidents have come in just about every variety They've been generals like George Washington and actors like Ronald Reagan; big like William Howard Taft, and small like James Madison; handsome like Franklin Pierce and homely like Abraham Lincoln; They've been born in log cabins like Andrew Jackson and mansions like William Harrison. <P>[This text is listed as an example that meets Common Core Standards in English language arts in grades 2-3 at http://www.corestandards.org.] <P><b>Winner of the 2000 Caldecott Medal</b>
Gump and Co.
by Winston GroomFrom the book Jacket: "That latter-day Huck Finn is now in his forties and back. ten years after we last caught up with him...more adventurous twists and turns." -George Christy, Hollywood Reporter Forrest Gump captured our hearts in the #1 New York Times bestselling novel Forrest Gump, and in the blockbuster film, winner of six Academy Awards® including Best Picture and Best Actor. Now he returns in the long-awaited sequel to the book hailed by Larry King as "the funniest novel I have ever read." A little older, and wiser in his unique way, Forrest is still running-this time straight into the age of greed and instant gratificatior known as the 1980s. Whenever I really get stumped, I go visit Jenny's grave. She tells me she's always rooting for me. The Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. has gone bust and now Forrest is flat broke, sweeping floors in a New Orleans strip joint, when a fresh opportunity to play championship football puts him back in the limelight-and in the money. But fate turns fickle again, and he's soon ou on the road selling phony encyclopedias and trying to raise his son, littk Forrest, who needs his father more than ever. Forrest's remarkable touching, and utterly comic odyssey has just begun: in store for him is an explosive attempt at hog farming; his own dubious recipe for adding life to New Coke; an encounter with Oliver North of the Iran-Contra affair; and a chance yet again to unwittingly twist the nose of history. "As comic voices go, Forrest Gump is a classic." -Robert Plunket, The New York Times Book Review "GUMP & CO. is a delight."-Patricia Holt, San Froncisco Chronicle "Forrest has mellowed a bit, but this is a well-told tale with a keen satirical edge Is GUMP & CO. a worthy follow-up to the original adventures of Alabama's newest folk hero? Sure enough, and it's also got enough surprises along the way that you'll zip through its pages trying to figure out where Forrest will finally land. . . . Groom's ... satire now has a Kurt Vonnegut-like quality. ... Will GUMP & CO. be another Oscar-generating machine would it be turned into a film? Could be, but in the South we've always felt it was enough just to be good storytellers. And in that we are correct." -Dave Helms, Mobile Register
5600 Jokes for All Occasions
by Mildred Meiers Jack KnapFrom the Book jacket: What's better than Dial-A-Joke? File-A-Joke. This is the book you've been looking for. The one that takes the worry out of wisecracks, the book that proves there is such a thing as easy humor (providing somebody else does the work!) This book does all the work. Now all you have to do is leaf through and enjoy. Or, better yet, pick a victim and look him up in the index. Your unsuspecting mailman, for instance: "Say, Charlie, why is this letter wet?" (Your postman gives a puzzled look.) "Must be postage dew." (Then duck, quickly.) And there's no need to stop there. Is your postman rather hefty? Then just flip to the back of the book and look under "Fat People" (no beating around the bush with this book). You'll find high-level intelligence quotients under "Smartness," conceit under "Stuck Up," and unmarried ladies under "Old Maids." Want a crazy excuse for being late for work? Try #3212. Or for never having learned to spell? #4923. And #4378 is great to try on ex-cons and football lovers. If you want to impress a literary snob who asks you if you know Shakespeare, quote #4595 and say, "Sure, I read his stuff as soon as it comes out." Search these pages to find out why Ireland is the richest country in the world (#5480), how we know Washington had a great memory (#4007), and who went two thousand miles on a galleon [sic] (#5025). In its unusual Introduction, 5600 Jokes for All Occasions supplies us with a valuable guide to making the most of the material. The Introduction gives hints on How to Select Material, Write and Tell Jokes, Adapt Jokes, and Write Sketches and Continuities. The humorous situations are broadly classified into Individuals and Institutions, and these are neatly subdivided so that every subject is related to the subjects before and after it. The most comprehensive collection of humor on the market today, 5600 Jokes is a laugh-makers dream.
Scrambled Eggs Super
by Dr SeussTired of scrambled eggs always tasting the same, Peter T. Hooper goes on a great egg hunt for his new recipe.
The T. V. Kid
by Betsy ByarsFor Lennie too much Television is not enough. Lennie loves television. He's addicted to it. Even reruns are more exciting than real life And Lennie likes to pretend he's the one winning money on game shows, meeting fascinating people and having adventures. But Lennie's daydreams lead him into a real situation that could cost him his life. And suddenly he's in trouble, more terrifying and dangerous than he's ever seen on T V
Never Tease a Weasel
by Jean Conder SouleReading this book together is an excellent and fun way to learn about teasing. " You can knit a kitten mittens And perhaps that cat would purr. You could fit a fox with socks That exactly matched his fur. ... But never tease a weasel; This is very good advice. A weasel will not like it And teasing isn't nice!" This file should make an excellent embossed braille copy.
How to Ruin Your Life
by Ben SteinAuthor Ben Stein offers a witty, humorous account of 35 "simple steps" on how you can quickly, easily, and effectively ruin your life.
Crouching Buzzard, Leaping Loon (Meg Langslow #4)
by Donna AndrewsMeg Langslow. She's blessed in so many ways. Michael, her boyfriend, is a handsome, delightful heartthrob who adores her. She's a successful blacksmith, known for her artistic wrought-iron creations. But somehow Meg's road to contentment is more rutted and filled with potholes than seems fair. There are Michael's and Meg's doting but demanding mothers, for a start. And then there's the fruitless hunt for a place big enough for the couple to live together. And a succession of crises brought on by the well-meaning but utterly wacky demands of her friends and family. Demands that Meg has a hard time refusing which is why she's tending the switchboard of Mutant Wizards, where her brother's computer games are created, and handling all the office management problems that no one else bothers with. For companionship, besides a crew of eccentric techies, she has a buzzard with one wing--who she must feed frozen mice thawed in the office microwave--and Michael's mother's nightmare dog. Not to mention the psychotherapists who refuse to give up their lease on half of the office space, and whose conflicting therapies cause continuing dissension. This is not what Meg had in mind when she agreed to help her brother move his staff to new offices. In fact, the atmosphere is so consistently loony that the office mail cart makes several passes through the reception room, with the office practical joker lying on top of it pretending to be dead, before Meg realizes that he's become the victim of someone who wasn't joking at all. He's been murdered for real.
Pirates Don't Wear Pink Sunglasses (The Adventures of the Bailey School Kids #9)
by Debbie Dadey Marcia Thornton JonesThere are some pretty weird grownups living in Bailey City. But could the boat instructor at Camp Lone Wolf really be a pirate searching for buried treasure? The Bailey School Kids are going to find out! "I think he is a pirate," Howie said. Eddie laughed out loud. "Pirates lived a long time ago. There aren't any left today." "Besides, who ever heard of a pirate wearing pink sunglasses?" Melody said. "I don't know," Liza said. "Let's just go." "We can't." Howie shook his head. "We know too much, if this is a treasure map and Teach really is a pirate, we may be in a lot of danger!"
Gerald McBoing Boing
by Dr SeussGerald's mom and dad were so glad to have their little boy, that is until it was time for him to talk. Instead of talking Gerald went, boing, skreek, and clang. What are they to do with their boy who makes sounds instead of talking? Can he make friends, will he find a job? And will he be happy? Find out in this delightful rhyming book written by the master of silly rhymes.
Full Bloom (Max Holt #5)
by Janet Evanovich Charlotte HughesThe temperature's on "sizzle" again in Beaumont, South Carolina, where peach trees are in season and ripe for the picking. So is its newest entrepreneur, Annie Fortenberry, a divorcee who inherited her grandmother's Queen Ann mansion (and its wacky handyman Erdle Thorney). According to a local psychic, she also inherited a spirit from its glory days as a brothel - not the kind of publicity the Peach Tree Bed & Breakfast needs if it's hosting millionaire Max Holt's upcoming wedding! If rumors of x-rated ghosts aren't stressful enough, Max's new partner has arrived with an eye on Annie's master suite. On the inside Wes Bridges may be corporate, but on the outside he's leather and denim, sporting a two-day beard, straddling a Harley, and sending the B&B's testosterone level through the roof. Annie's cool demeanor may be dropping as fast as Wes's jeans, but leave it to her ex to dampen the passion! His body's been discovered buried on the grounds along with a stash of illicit love letters and a photograph of one of the town's most prominent married ladies. Wrapped up in a murder plot, Annie must find the killer, save her own neck, and get back to where she was - wrapped up in Wes's strong loving arms...
The Stupids Take Off
by Harry Allard James MarshallWhile father Stanley Q. Stupid brushes his teeth one morning, a telegram arrives. "Egads I" cries Stanley, "Uncle Carbuncle is coming!" Mrs. Stupid lets out a bloodcurdling scream from the kitchen. Uncle Carbuncle is pretty strong medicine! To avoid their uncle, the family quickly takes offin an airplane piloted by their superb cat Xylophone. Join the Stupids on a vacation that only the truly daffy could survive. Flying will never be quite the same again! Other books about the Stupid family are available from Bookshare.
The Dastard (Xanth #24)
by Piers AnthonyFrustrated farm boy Anomy gives up his soul in return for the ability to unhappen events. Since he uses this power mostly for ill, he adopts the sobriquet the Dastard and becomes a problem. The good guys send a half-dragon, half-human girl, a roc, and the princesses Melody, Harmony, and Rhythm on his trail. Complicating the action in this customarily busy Xanth yarn are the Sea Hag, an insatiably vengeful spirit who possesses the bodies of young women, wears them out, and throws them away; time travel; some intriguing limits to and complexities of magic; the usual word- and concept play; and some serious ethical thinking when the Dastard regains a soul (a borrowed one, not the original). Readers may become impatient with the Adult Conspiracy and the power of panties, devices used on all intergender encounters, at the cost of a good deal of their potential, at least for readers who are already conspiring adults. Roland Green
Swell Foop (Xanth #25)
by Piers AnthonyFrom Booklist The twenty-fifth book of Xanth deals with a matter of some gravity. Specifically, the Demon Earth has disappeared, which means that eventually not only some but all gravity will disappear from Earth and Xanth. To solve the mystery and rescue the Demon Earth, the Swell Foop is required. That involves using the six magical rings of Xanth, which need to be found by means of a quest by five old friends of Xanth mavens--Cynthia and Che Centaur, Brianna and Justin Tree, and Sim, the immortal bird--as well as Jaylin, a girl from Mundane Hawaii. The search is fraught with Anthony's usual cargo of puns. A bit longer than some recent Xanths, this is also a bit better, and even those who find it more of the same are likely to enjoy themselves. But starting with Xanth in a late book such as this is less advisable for finding out what the fuss is all about than going back as far as your library's holdings allow. Roland Green Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved