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Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography
by Lemony SnicketThe elusive author provides a glimpse into his mysterious and confusing life, using fanciful letters, diary entries and other documents.
No Shirt. No Shoes ... NO PROBLEM!
by Jeff FoxworthyFoxworthy relates his many hijinks, like the King Slob competition, and gives us the real stories behind his favorite Redneck jokes.
For Common Things: Irony, Trust and Commitment in America Today
by Jedediah Purdy"This is, perhaps, the work of a love letter... Such a letter brings something delicate and intimate into the light of shared vision. This disclosure is hazardous and frightening, but it is necessary because the kind of love that moves between people cannot survive in solitude. It must be made common if it is to live at all. Love letters, then, require the courage to stake oneself on an expression of hope that may very well come to nothing. They also indicate a perception of importance, a sense that some possibilities, however unlikely, are so important that not acknowledging them would be an act of terrible neglect."
Elect Mr. Robinson for a Better World
by Donald AntrimIn this novel Antrim subtly satirizes "the breakdown of our sense of community, our grabbing at trendy straws in an attempt to discover our spiritual selves, and the foibles of educational theorists" [from the Library Journal review.] After the mayor is torn apart by cars going in 4 different directions, his body is cut apart so the pieces can be buried by Pete Robinson, who later decides to run for mayor to improve his world. From the cover's inside flap: "neighboring families conduct full-scale wars in local parks, ...spike-embedded trenches" and snake-filled moats "encircle homes and manicured lawns,...bizarre rituals unfold beneath the light of the moon; hidden bombs explode in the swampy distance," and people "access memory at the cellular level and ride the DNA chain ...back into prehistory," becoming a coelacanth or bison. What might appear to be a spelling error, e.g., "payed" instead of "paid," is the author's and so wasn't changed. Perhaps it has meaning.
A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving
by Charles SchulzCharlie Brown is in a dilemma when Peppermint Patty invites herself and several friends to his house for Thanksgiving dinner.
The Content of Our Character: A New Vision of Race in America
by Shelby SteelThis book is a collection of essays focusing on issues faced by African Americans such as affirmative action and the fight for equality. The author also explores feelings of bewilderment and self-doubt.
Don't Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings: Madea's Uninhibited Commentaries on Love and Life
by Tyler PerryMadea is the beloved, hilarious, sharp-witted, pistol-packing grandmother who's watching out and speaking her mind.
Doll
by Tracey SinclairWhen is love wrong? When it's a secret? When it's a lie? When it's illegal? What if the one person you wanted was the one you could never have?
The Grass is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank
by Erma BombeckIn The Grass is Always Greener over the Septic Tank, she has written the expose of all exposes -the truth about the suburbs: where they planted trees and crabgrass came up, they planted schools and taxes came up, where they died of old age trying to merge onto the freeway, and where they finally got sex out of the schools and back into the gutter. This is their story-lonely wives having lunch with their wigs, picking fights with the pet hamster, husbands fighting for custody of the lawn and against the dread disease, car-pool crouch. Here you will meet guys and dolls like Barbie and Ken, as well as Wanda the school-bus driver, Ralph the Little League coach who played to lose, and the Ten Most Unwanted Women in the Shopping Center Parking Lot. You will read the confessions of an Officer in the Girl Scout Cookie Corps and learn what it's like to be a dieter in search of a lettuce that tastes like lasagne. In these pages it is revealed that the Suburban Orgy is a Myth, that no one will buy your child at a garage sale, that the washer repairman never comes, that desperate is sending your kids to school wearing broiler-foil, and that a septic tank does not last forever.
Halloweenies
by David Wisniewski"Get ready to shriek...with laughter! Within these covers lurk five horror spoofs just waiting to tickle your funny bone. Can it survive the shaggy shenanigans of "Frankenstein's Hamster"? Can it endure the galactic giggles of "Attack of the Space Toupees"? Yes, you say... Well, grab your popcorn! The lights are going down! The curtains are going up! It's time for the first showing of... " Publishers Weekly In five stories modeled on creature-feature movies, Wisniewski, working more in the vein of his The Secret Knowledge of Grown-Ups than his Caldecott-winning Golem, [available from Bookshare] warms up old gags. Pen-and-inks of three movie-going boys imply the intended audience, and so do lowbrow jokes about a castle's "big buttress" and a sherpa named "Duk Pin Bo Ling." A pushy cosmetologist turns a werewolf into a "werewuss," and, in "Attack of the Space Toupees," the wives of exclusively male government officials thwart a UFO plot (the vanquished aliens respond with sinister "space girdles"). Ages 7-up. Pictures are described. Other books by David Wisniewski are available from Bookshare.
Oonga Boonga
by Frieda WishinskyFrom the book: Nobody can make baby Louise stop crying. Mom tries singing a lullaby. Dad rocks her in his arms, Grandma gives her a bottle, and Grandpa dances a jig. Nothing works. But when big brother Daniel comes home from school, he knows exactly what to do. He bends over Louise and whispers the magic words: "Oonga boonga." Miraculously, Louise's tears are replaced by a toothless grin! But when Daniel goes out to play, Louise starts crying again. "Oonga boonga! Oonga boonga!" everyone tries, but Louise continues to wail and sob. Only Daniel knows how to make her happy again. The author wrote this book based on experiences shared by her own son and daughter. This book includes picture descriptions.
Inventor McGregor
by Kathleen T. PelleyHector McGregor, inventor of unusual items, leaves his home workshop to work in a lab, but finds no inspiration there.
Monsignor Quixote
by Graham GreeneA brilliant work which is at once a retelling of Cervantes' masterpiece in modern terms and a profound statement about the nature of faith and morality.
Crónicas del Ángel gris
by Alejandro DolinaEn palabras del gran Ernesto Sábato: "Alejandro Dolina es un gran creador, un particular alquimista que ha logrado conciliar elementos aparentemente antagónicos: la hondura del filósofo existencial y la calidez, la poesía y hasta la jerga del hombre de la calle. Entre los rincones que el Ángel Gris nos describe, se advierte que la prosa de Dolina pertenece a la raza de Discépolo, pero a su vez, teñida por una tenue luz crepuscular, como la humilde esperanza del más auténtico pibe de barrio. Es fundamental rescatar el valor de estas crónicas en estos tiempos en los que tristemente abundan los Refutadores de Leyendas, deseando, en cambio, que los Hombres Sensibles no pierdan jamás su pasión por la vida, noble virtud del querido Alejandro." Ernesto Sábato, Santos Lugares, 1996
The Secret Knowledge of Grown-Ups
by David WisniewskiFrom Publisher's Weekly: Caldecott winner Wisniewski (Golem) [available from Bookshare] spoofs conspiracy theories in this "confidential" volume, with a jacket designed to resemble a sealed manila envelope and illustrated with intricate cut-paper collages. "As a parent, I went along with it all at first: going to secret meetings... preparing for the day when my kids would want to know why this and why that. But not anymore!" confesses the narrator, whose typewritten words fill a crumpled sheet of brown paper. On the pages that follow, bulletins labeled "TOP SECRET" offer classified information. For example, "Grown-up Rule #31: Eat your vegetables" is followed by "Official Reason: They're good for you." This leads to "The Truth: You don't eat vegetables because they're good for you. You eat vegetables to k...." Here the document is torn as if by an enemy, and a turn of the page reveals, in oversize type: "to keep them under control!" A tyrannosaurus-style broccoli stalk marauds across the accompanying illustration, joined in its depredations by equally sinister carrots, radishes, etc. The engagingly silly formula repeats throughout, the text and the art consistent in their over-the-top humor and sure execution. The mock-official presentation gleefully contrasts with the utter ridiculousness of the "facts," just as the painstaking cut-paper technique contrasts with the loony wit of the compositions themselves. Yet, strangely, the findings seem to prove that young readers should comb their hair and stop blowing bubbles in their milk-could this exposé be the work of a double agent? The Secret Knowledge of Grown-Ups: The Second File continues the fun and is also available from Bookshare. This book includes picture descriptions.
The World According to Me
by Jackie MasonFrom the book: The pages you are about to read come directly from a performance of my one-man show at the Brooks Atkinson Theatre in New York City. Picture yourself in the audience, in the first row center . . . unless you can't afford that kind of seat ... so, the balcony. But wherever you are seated and ready to enjoy this book, it is important that you read this preface, because during the course of the book I'm going to ask you questions, just like I did to my live audiences. . . . And you better be prepared to give me answers because I have a way of checking up on you. On the printed page I might sound somewhat arrogant. However, if you see me in person when I say these things you will realize that I say them without disdain, but with love and compassion. So, if you're not a schmuck you won't take it personally. If you are, it won't bother you either because you won't know the difference. To tell you the truth, I not only call a person names but get applause as well, and even a standing ovation, which in all modesty I am getting on the stage every night. When you finish this book, if you don't stand up and applaud you have either missed the humor in it or you don't appreciate it when a person gives you such big laughs for such a small price. Anyway, sit back in your seat, wherever you are . . . try to be normal, and enjoy yourself.
The Secret Knowledge of Grown-ups: The Second File
by David WisniewskiIT'S HAPPENED AGAIN! DAVID WISNIEWSKI has completed another daring raid into the vault of parent rules. Within these forbidden pages lurk the real reasons why grown-ups want you to brush your teeth, eat your breakfast, and clean under your bed. The truth has been hidden for centuries, but the time of mystery is over. Grab a flashlight! Get under cover. It's time for ... finding out why your stomach throws tantrums; knowing why your teeth might leave you at home; chewing bubble gum might explode you; and, (but certainly not most important of all) discerning why cleaning under your bed may prevent dust grizzlies! Other books by David Wisniewski are available from Bookshare. Picture descriptions are included.
The Torment of Others
by Val McdermidClinical psychologist Dr Tony Hill and Detective Chief Inspector Carol Jordan face the toughest challenge of their careers when they are confronted with an 'impossible' series of murders. Back in Bradfield after her traumatic experiences in Berlin, Carol is surprised to find Tony has followed her there to take up a post in the local secure mental hospital. When a prostitute is murdered in a particularly grotesque and stomach-churning way, she turns to him for help. Bizarrely, this killing matches in every detail a series of murders that took place a couple of years previously. A series of murders for which Derek Tyler was tried, convicted and sentenced. There has never been any doubt about his guilt. But now the ghost of his crimes has risen again. A second prostitute murder soon follows and the team are struggling. While Tony tries to crack Tyler, the police decide to mount an undercover operation that goes horribly wrong.
Holidays in Hell
by P. J. O'RourkeThe author travels to hellholes around the globe, looking for trouble, the truth, and a good time.
How to Make Yourself Miserable
by Dan Greenburg Marcia JacobsHow to be miserable by yourself, to lose friends, to lose your job, to avoid or destroy romantic relationships, etc.
O Ye Jigs and Julips!
by Virginia Cary HudsonWritten early in the 1900s, this collection of school compositions by an 11-year-old southern girl was discovered by relatives and published in the 1960s. Virginia writes with irreverent humor about life in a small southern town, running in hilarious tangents from her official topic. She offers her unique commentary on such subjects as "Sacraments," "Etiquette in Church," and "Education." Among the characters who parade through these pieces are rich Mrs. Porter, sweet and spicy Mrs. Harris, and the formidable Bishop of the Episcopal church. Virginia is a quick-witted tomboy who closely observes the foibles of the adults around her. She begins the opening piece: "Sacraments are what you do in church. What you do at home is something else."
Marvin Redpost: Is He a Girl? (Marvin Redpost #3)
by Louis SacharIf you kiss yourself on the elbow, you'll turn into a girl. <P><P> When Marvin's lips touch his elbow, he suddenly finds himself acting very strange. Wishing he had pigtails like his sister, Linzy. Asking to play hopscotch at recess. Even dotting his i's with little hearts in class! Sure, he may have figured out the secret difference between girls and boys...but will Marvin Redpost ever return to normal?
Without Feathers
by Woody AllenFrom the book jacket: The Philadelphia Inquirer says: "Woody Allen is more than a household name. His one-liners are part of our oral history." From Without Feathers here are some new one-liners oral history has been waiting for ... Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. My Lord, my Lord! What hast Thou done, lately? On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable, with the possible exception of a moose singing "Embrace-able You" in spats. How wrong Emily Dickinson was! Hope is not "the thing with feathers." The thing with feathers has turned out to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in Zurich.