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Zix Zexy Ztories
by Curt LeviantA humorous collection of love stories from an award-winning author who has been called &“a compassionate and witty satirist&” (Kirkus Reviews). From Holocaust survivors to Yiddish artists, a petty thief and a Polish shiksa with a passion for Jewish history, what unites the delectable characters in Curt Leviant&’s witty collection of romantic tales is the universal desire for love and admiration. With settings as various as the Deep South, Boston, New York, Italy, Israel, each story is a wry look at romantic pursuit, each relationship as unique as the lovers themselves. Whether or not love succeeds for Leviant&’s all-too-human characters, the journey is always filled with humor and heart.
Zoe and the Tormented Tycoon (The Balfour Brides)
by Kate HewittEveryone's talking about Zoe Balfour-the illegitimate heiress! She flies to New York to discover more about her biological family and goes a little wild, shocking even herself by spending one night with a gorgeous stranger....The gradual loss of his sight has caused Manhattan mogul Max Monroe to close himself off from the world-a wife and child are most certainly not on his agenda! How will Zoe, once just a spoiled socialite and now unexpectedly pregnant, unlock the dark heart of a man who may never see his own child?
Zoey Is Too Drunk for This Dystopia (Zoey Ashe #3)
by Jason ParginZoey is Too Drunk for This Dystopia is the latest installment in New York Times bestselling author Jason Pargin's thrilling Zoey Ashe sci-fi series.Zoey Ashe wakes up every day feeling like she’s trying to steer a battleship while tied to the propeller. The twenty-three-year-old heiress to a criminal empire is navigating a futuristic world of high-tech liars and cutthroats, forced to learn the rules of a devious game she never asked to play. Now she’s facing a crisis that is both bigger and stranger than all that came before:The gleaming new city of Tabula Ra$a is hosting its massive annual music festival, which every year precedes the equally massive annual drunken riot. This is all organized by Zoey's people, including the riot. As her advisors explain, the citizens need a little controlled chaos now and then. Zoey, however, fears the chaos will not stay controlled for long.When a horrific crime is broadcast live on an all-seeing social network, Zoey and her team suspect a carefully-stage hoax arranged by one of the Tabula Ra$a’s shadowy power players. But in a city in which lies are always served in layers, even that explanation will prove far too simple.
Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick: A Novel (Zoey Ashe #2)
by Jason Pargin David WongTHE NATIONAL BESTSELLERNew York Times bestselling author David Wong's Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick is the latest—and arguably greatest—sci-fi thriller in the Zoey Ashe Series.In the futuristic city of Tabula Ra$a, Zoey Ashe is like a fish so far out of water that it has achieved orbit. After inheriting a criminal empire, the twenty-three year-old finds herself under threat from all sides as a rogue's gallery of larger-than-life enemies think they smell weakness. On the eve of the world's most lavish and ridiculous Halloween celebration, a steamer trunk-sized box arrives at Zoey's door and she is shocked to find that it contains a disemboweled corpse. She is even more shocked when that corpse, controlled by an unknown party, rises and goes on a rampage through the house. Speaking in an electronic voice, it publicly accuses Zoey of being its murderer. This is the kind of thing that almost never happened at her old job.The city was already a ticking time bomb of publicity-hungry vigilantes with superhuman enhancements and Zoey knows this turn of events is unlikely to improve the situation. Now, she and her team of high-tech tricksters have to solve this bizarre murder while simultaneously keeping Tabula Ra$a from descending into chaos.“Biting humor and blatant digs at modern society overlay a subtly brilliant and thoughtful plot” (Publishers Weekly) in John Dies at the End author David Wong’s first installment of the Zoey Ashe Series, Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits. Now, “one of today’s great satirists” (Nerdist) is back with Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick, the second installment in a “Technicolor tomorrowland.” (Kirkus Reviews)
Zombie Apocalypse (Tales from the Scaremaster #4)
by B. A. FradeA new entry in the frightfully fun series perfect for fans of Goosebumps.Ryan and Tyler are obsessed with zombies-each year, they tie for first place at their school's annual costume contest with their grosser than gross zombie costumes. When some seriously spooky looking zombies show up at the dance this year, the boys think someone has called in a Hollywood makeup artist to finally snag the trophy. Little do they know, this isn't a case of special effects...it's a Zombie Apocalypse, courtesy of the Scaremaster! Can they outwit the Scaremaster and save their classmates, or will their brains be on the menu?
A Zombie Ate My Homework (Project Z #1)
by Tommy GreenwaldFrom the hilarious mind behind the Crimebiters series comes a new trilogy that fans of The Last Kids on Earth will love to pieces (literally). Arnold Z. Ombee has escaped a secret government lab that's developing zombies. Young, scared, and alone, he is found by the Kinders, a warmhearted couple who take him in. The Kinders decide Arnold will become part of their family. They help him disguise his undead appearance and teach him how to act like a human boy. After a lot of practice, he's ready for the ultimate test: Fifth grade!
Zombie Butts from Uranus! (Butts #2)
by Andy GriffithsThis thrilling sequel to the bestselling "The Day My Butt Went Psycho" boldly goes where no butt has gone before. Can young Zack stop an invasion of Zombie Butts from taking over the planet? Or is Earth doomed to suffer the tyranny of the stinkiest space invaders this side of Uranus?
Zombie Butts from Uranus! (Andy Griffiths' Butt Series)
by Andy GriffithsIn this exciting sequel to The Day My Butt Went Psycho, a boy and his butt must protect the planet from ruthless rumps from outer space.Zack Freeman is on his way to becoming a first-rate butt-fighter. He has gone butt-to-butt with all kinds of stinky scoundrels and butts-gone-bad. But even our doody-full hero is a-gassed by these latest stench invaders.Their odor is unstoppable.Their mission is downright foul.And they won’t rest until Earth is wiped away by their nasty fumes! They’re Zombie Butts from Uranus! And the galaxy is but one boy (and his butt) away from total reek-dom . . . Praise for Zombie Butts from Uranus“Delivers innumerable gag-worthy gags.” —Publishers Weekly
Zombie Cat: The Tale of a Decomposing Kitty
by Bethany Straker Isabel AthertonTiddles is a suave, carefree kitty cat whose only pleasures in life are eating mice, wooing the ladies, and being generally apathetic toward his owner, Jake. But when a toxic spill occurs outside of town, Tiddles finds himself savagely attacked by a nasty-looking radioactive field mouse, and he wakes up as one of the undead. However, he still retains a bit of compassion and refrains--for now--from zombie Bacchanalian delights, such as eating living beings' brains! Umm . . . any brains at all!However, Tiddles, a.k.a. Zombie Cat, is decomposing rapidly and would prefer to live a normal life in the zombie apocalypse with his owner, Jake. But will Jake take in his former cuddly pet or will ZC be doomed to roam the streets trying to avoid the inevitable pull of his undead yearnings? Zombie Cat is a humorous adult picture book in the vein of Pat the Zombie and Ten Little Zombies: A Love Story. Isabel Atherton's quirky storytelling combined with Bethany Straker's captivating (and slightly grotesque!) illustrations make this the perfect addition to any Halloween collection. It's the ideal gift for any crazed zombie fanatic--or equally crazed cat lover.
The Zombie Chasers
by Steve Wolfhard John KloepferZombie Attack! When brain-gobbling zombies invade, a sleepover at Zack Clarke's house quickly turns into a Level-3 creep-over. The undead have infested the streets, filling the air with deathly moans and the stench of rotting flesh. Meet the Zombie Chasers: Zack: His house is a wreck, his sister's a zombie, and he's stolen his mom's Volvo. He's totally going to be grounded if he survives the night. . . . Rice: He's studied The Zombie Survival Guide, but is he prepared to fight the living dead? Madison: She seriously cannot believe her best friend has become a zombie and left her alone with these dweebs! They're on a mission to save the world, but first they have to survive their flesh-eating, half-dead neighbors-and one another. Can the Zombie Chasers make it out alive?
The Zombie Chasers #2: Undead Ahead
by John Kloepfer Steve WolfhardBRAAAAAINS!!! Zack Clarke, his best pal, Rice, and middle-school queen bee Madison Miller survived the night of the living dead-but the nightmare's not over yet! Zack's sister is a zombie and his parents might be goners. Rice has uncovered the source of the zombie outbreak, and Madison's health-drink habit may be the key to a cure. Ozzie, the newest zombie chaser, is a nunchaku-wielding, monster-fighting machine who's ready to kick some undead butt. The whole country-from their parents to the president-is counting on them. Can the Zombie Chasers save the nation from brain-gobbling ghouls? Or will the US of A become the US of Z?
The Zombie Chasers #3: Sludgment Day
by Steve Wolfhard John KloepferThe maul of America! It's been two days since a zombie virus turned Zack Clarke's parents, neighbors, and most of the country into brain-munching fiends. Zack and his crew of Zombie Chasers-Rice, Madison, Ozzie, and Zoe-are ready to end this nightmare once and for all! With the antidote in hand, the gang sets off on a wild cross-country road trip to defeat the evil genius behind the zombie apocalypse. After battling undead Elvis in Memphis, ghoulish tourists at a rest stop, and a crew of zweenyboppers at the Mall of America, the Zombie Chasers are still only halfway there! Will Sludgment Day be the dawn of the dead?
The Zombie Chasers #4: Empire State of Slime
by John KloepferZombies Take Manhattan! The Zombie Chasers are national heroes! Six months after Zack Clarke, his sister, Zoe, and pals Rice, Madison, and Ozzie saved the country from brain-gobbling ghouls, things are finally getting back to normal. The Romero Middle School kids are visiting New York City on their class trip and Zack and the crew even get to sneak in a TV interview between seeing all the Big Apple sites. But their trip goes from sublime to slime when millions of people mysteriously rezombify! The Zombie Chasers are back on undead duty, but can they escape the crowded city streets and find a new cure? Or is Z-Day here to stay?
Zombie Chasers 4-Book Collection
by John Kloepfer Steve WolfhardPerfect for fans of Diary of a Wimpy Kid and The Strange Case of Origami Yoda, John Kloepfer's hilarious and stomach-churning Zombie Chasers tween series is overflowing with uproarious middle school humor, dead-on illustrations, and high-action adventure that will leave readers moaning for more. This collection contains the first four books in the series.The Zombie Chasers: Zombie Attack! When brain-gobbling zombies invade, a sleep¬over at Zack Clarke's house quickly turns into a Level-3 creep-over. The undead have infested the streets, filling the air with deathly moans and the stench of rotting flesh. The Zombie Chasers are on a mission to save the world, but first they have to survive their flesh-eating, half-dead neighbors--and one another.The Zombie Chasers #2: Undead Ahead: Zack's sister is a zombie and his parents might be goners. Rice has uncovered the source of the zombie outbreak, and Madison's health-drink habit may be the key to a cure. Ozzie, the newest zombie chaser, is a nunchaku-wielding, monster-fighting machine who's ready to kick some undead butt. The whole country--from their parents to the president--is counting on them. Can the Zombie Chasers save the nation from brain-gobbling ghouls? Or will the US of A become the US of Z?The Zombie Chasers #3: Sludgment Day: Zack and his crew of Zombie Chasers--Rice, Madison, Ozzie, and Zoe--are ready to end this nightmare once and for all! With the antidote in hand, the gang sets off on a wild cross-country road trip to defeat the evil genius behind the zombie apocalypse.The Zombie Chasers #4: Empire State of Slime: Six months after Zack Clarke, his sister, Zoe, and pals Rice, Ozzie, and Madison saved the country from brain-gobbling ghouls, life is finally heading back to normal. But while the kids are busy exploring the Big Apple's sites on a class trip to New York City, things go from sublime to slime when millions of people suddenly rezombify! The Zombie Chasers are back on undead duty, but can they escape the crowded city streets and find a new cure, or is Z-Day here to stay?
The Zombie Chasers #5: Nothing Left to Ooze
by John Kloepfer David DegrandThe living dead are back and they mean business in Nothing Left to Ooze, book five of John Kloepfer's sidesplitting Zombie Chasers tween series, with illustrations by David DeGrand. Loaded with middle school shenanigans, fast-paced adventure, hilarious black-and-white drawings throughout, and--of course--a slew of brain-gobbling ghouls, The Zombie Chasers #5: Nothing Left to Ooze is the perfect pick for fans of the series and zombie aficionados everywhere!After the original antidote wears off and millions of Americans suddenly rezombify, Zack Clarke and his crew of Zombie Chasers are on a mission to find a lasting cure. But to stop the undead for good, they'll have to track down a brand-new Zombie Chaser first!Hitting the road again, the Zombie Chasers set out on a zany international expedition where they'll have to plow through abominable snow zombies on the Niagara River and outrun slime-drooling thrill-seekers at the biggest and best amusement park in the country! With rotting fairy-tale princesses and half-dead vacationers, it's not just the Tilt-a-Whirl that will make them woozy. Can the Zombie Chasers end this carnival of frights before it's too late?
The Zombie Chasers #6: Zombies of the Caribbean
by John Kloepfer David DegrandThe Zombie Chasers take to the high seas in the sixth installment of John Kloepfer's hysterical Zombie Chasers tween series, illustrated by David DeGrand. Zack Clarke and his team--Zoe, Rice, Ozzie, Madison, and Olivia--have fled the infested coasts of Florida, chased by a ravenous mob of super zombies. With no antidote in sight, there's only one person who can help them now: an eccentric explorer and renowned zombie expert . . . but he's lying low in a zombie-proof bunker somewhere in the Caribbean. As the pals fend off decomposing pirates, crusty crewmates, and putrid sea creatures, they race to uncover the cure for zombies everywhere. But will they be able to defeat the zombies of the Caribbean before the cure and their plan go overboard? With all the middle school shenanigans, fast-paced adventure, and hilarious black-and-white drawings that have made this series so beloved by reluctant readers everywhere, The Zombie Chasers #6: Zombies of the Caribbean is a gore-larious romp not to be missed!
The Zombie Chasers #7: World Zombination
by John Kloepfer David DegrandIn the final book in the beloved Zombie Chasers series, Zack Clarke and his zombie-fighting team travel across the world in search of an antidote that will stop the brain-gobbling outbreak once and for all. <P><P>With all the middle school shenanigans, fast-paced adventure, and hilarious black-and-white drawings that have made this series a favorite of reluctant readers everywhere, The Zombie Chasers #7: World Zombination is an uproarious, gore-streaked finale that readers will love!From taming zombie jungle animals in Madagascar to unearthing zombie mummies--zummies--in Egypt to battling black-belt super zombies in China, it's the zombie chasers' slimiest adventure yet. Will the kids be able to get the antidote and unzombify the undead masses once and for all? Or will the putrid planet fall to the zombie scourge?
The Zombie Combat Manual
by Roger MaDuring a zombie outbreak, 98% of individuals will have to destroy their undead opponent without the aid of a firearm. Will you be ready? The Zombie Combat Manual is a comprehensive guide that demonstrates how anyone, from seasoned fighter to average citizen, can become an effective warrior in the inevitable battle against the undead. With detailed illustrations and firsthand accounts from zombie combat veterans, this manual provides readers with the information they need to emerge victoriously from a close combat encounter with a walking corpse. Now is the time to learn how to survive a hand-to-hand battle against the advancing army of the undead-before humans fall prey to their growing ranks.
Zombie Elementary
by Howard WhitehouseLarry Mullet is your typical fourth grader. He's not the biggest kid or the smartest kid or the best looking kid. He rides his bike, plays baseball, takes the school bus, avoids cafeteria food, and--oh yeah, he's a zombie hunting expert. Larry was just doing his usual thing when Alex Bates from Ms Hoag's class tried to eat him. Sadly, that was only the beginning. Something odd was going on at Brooks Elementary... and it was up to Larry and his friends to take charge (for some reason). Hilariously told interview-style as a record of the REAL story, and peppered with zombie tips and facts, zombie cheerleaders and plenty of gore, this book will be a surefire hit for anyone interested in a ghoulishly good life-or-death comedy.
The Zombie Gnome Defense Guide: A Complete Reference to Surviving the Tiniest Apocalypse
by Shaenon K. Garrity Andrew Farago Bryan HeemskerkCompiled from the notes of three zombie gnome experts (among them a Van Helsing-like zombie gnome hunter, a horticulture student, and a gardening columnist), this guide includes a detailed study of zombie gnome habits, hiding places, and offensive tactics, as well as an intimate history of the zombie gnome rise and eventual war with humanity. Empty-eyed, shambling, and hungry for human ankles, the zombie gnome population is on the rise, infesting the backyards of suburbia and attacking innocent lawn ornaments everywhere. While chances of human survival are minimal, readers can arm themselves with The Zombie Gnome Defense Guide to combat their tiny, undead enemies.Offering strategies for defense against a zombie gnome invasion, the book provides an extensive list of essential weapons and DIY home-fortification tips. Rare illustrations of zombie gnomes in their natural habitat and a priceless collection of never-before-seen photos (housed in an envelope in the back of the book) make this the go-to guide for survivalists in a zombie gnome-infested world.
Zombie Haiku: Good Poetry For Your...Brains
by Ryan MecumIn your hands is a poetry journal written by an undead poet, recounting his firsthand experience during the zombie plague. Little is known about the author before he turned into a zombie, but thanks to his continued writings in this journal - even after his death - you can accompany him from infection to demise. Through the intimate poetry of haiku, the zombie chronicles his epic journey through deserted streets and barricaded doors. Each three-line poem, structured in the classic 5-7-5 syllable structure, unravels a little more of the story. You'll love every eye-popping, gut-wrenching, flesh-eating page!
Zombie Haiku
by Ryan MecumIn your hands is a poetry journal written by an undead poet, recounting his firsthand experience during the zombie plague. Little is known about the author before he turned into a zombie, but thanks to his continued writings in this journal - even after his death - you can accompany him from infection to demise. Through the intimate poetry of haiku, the zombie chronicles his epic journey through deserted streets and barricaded doors. Each three-line poem, structured in the classic 5-7-5 syllable structure, unravels a little more of the story. You'll love every eye-popping, gut-wrenching, flesh-eating page!
Zombie Haiku
by Ryan Mecum. . . More Brains. . . Some race. Some lurch. Others come crawling, limping, staggering-dragging themselves toward anyone who might still have a pulse. Zombies invade the island of Manhattan, and they are hungry. The story of the zombie apocalypse is told through the eyes of Dawn, a ten-year-old girl who has been well-schooled in the undead because of her father's love of zombie movies. As the zombies approach, Dawn and her dad realize the time has come to implement their Zombie Escape Plan, so they gather friends and escape to the Statue of Liberty. Only. . . the plan doesn't go quite as expected. Dawn documents their downfall in her haiku journal, where the limb-snapping, eye-popping, bone-crunching zombies eventually make her one of their own. In gory detail, and sometimes channeling her favorite poets, she describes the gruesome scenes before her-and her own frightening impulses. Ryan Mecum, the wicked mind behind the original Zombie Haiku, brings you another volume of disturbing poetry from the perspective of the walking dead sure to get your heart racing and your gag reflex working. . . but hopefully not your mouth salivating.
Zombie Halloween: Goosebumps Most Wanted (Goosebumps Most Wanted #1)
by R. L. StineThe infamous, Most Wanted Goosebumps characters are out on the loose and after you. Just in time for Halloween, a super special edition! Kenny Manzetti was the new kid in town. His family moved back in to an old house to help take care of his grandfather. Everyone in his new neighborhood is obsessed with zombies--even Grandpa Mo. But then a new family moves in next door and there choice in furniture is...interesting. Kenny is convinced that there is something strange about the new neighbors but his parents won't listen to him. So Kenny and his friends go in for a closer look. A bad idea on any day but definitely the wrong choice around Halloween. Will Kenny survive long enough to go trick or treating? With an extended page count this special edition is a scream!
The Zombie Handbook
by Rob Sacchetto"The Zombie Handbook is a must-have for anyone who wants to make it home alive." -Jonathan Maberry, author of Patient ZeroA few years ago, building an acid pit and stocking skull-splitting machetes would have been seen as an overreaction to the zombie threat. No longer! To survive the coming zombie apocalypse-and it is coming-you need to know everything about zombies and how to kill them.Thoroughly illustrated, this book is the definitive guide to zombies and all their blood-soaked traits, from feeding habits and dietary needs to sexual practices and political activities. The Zombie Handbook lays out your step-by-step plan of attack to now only survive the zombies' assault, but to counter it and obliterate the army of the undead, including tips for: Zombie-proofing your home Setting lures and traps Choosing the best weapons Exploding their brains