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The Periodic Table of FOOTBALL
by Nick HoltYou can never take what you love too seriously and The Periodic Table of Football celebrates this fact.Welcome to The Periodic Table of Football. Instead of hydrogen to helium, here you’ll find Pelé to Sepp Blatter – 108 elements from the football pantheon arranged by their properties and behaviour on and off the pitch.This expert guide spans over 150 years to offer an original perspective of the beautiful game.
The Seventh Function of Language: A Novel
by Laurent BinetFrom the prizewinning author of HHhH, “the most insolent novel of the year” (L’Express) comes a romp through the French intelligentsia of the twentieth century. Paris, 1980. The literary critic Roland Barthes dies—struck by a laundry van—after lunch with the presidential candidate François Mitterand. The world of letters mourns a tragic accident. But what if it wasn’t an accident at all? What if Barthes was . . . murdered?In The Seventh Function of Language, Laurent Binet spins a madcap secret history of the French intelligentsia, starring such luminaries as Jacques Derrida, Umberto Eco, Gilles Deleuze, Michel Foucault, Judith Butler, and Julia Kristeva—as well as the hapless police detective Jacques Bayard, whose new case will plunge him into the depths of literary theory (starting with the French version of Roland Barthes for Dummies). Soon Bayard finds himself in search of a lost manuscript by the linguist Roman Jakobson on the mysterious “seventh function of language.” A brilliantly erudite comedy, The Seventh Function of Language takes us from the cafés of Saint-Germain to the corridors of Cornell University, and into the duels and orgies of the Logos Club, a secret philosophical society that dates to the Roman Empire. Binet has written both a send-up and a wildly exuberant celebration of the French intellectual tradition.
Badly Drawn Beth: Book 1 (Badly Drawn Beth #1)
by Knife And PackerWinner of the Laugh Out Loud book awards!Badly Drawn Beth is officially the funniest book for 6-8 year olds in 2016! Beth is a hilarious new heroine who just can't help getting in trouble ...So, I'm surrounded by crocodiles, holding a briefcase full of fish fingers, I'm wearing a swamp monster mask AND MISS PRIMULA IS ABOUT TO CALL MY PARENTS!Meet Beth - and all of her fantastically crazy family and friends - and be prepared to laugh your socks off!A hilarious new diary series from the creators of Fleabag Monkeyface.
101 Places to Get F*cked Up Before You Die: The Ultimate Travel Guide to Partying Around the World
by Matador NetworkWhat Are You Waiting For?Looking for a guidebook that isn't full of tired, lame, or even BS travel information? 101 Places to Get Fucked Up Before You Die brings together the most irreverent and legit accounts of drinking, nightlife and travel culture around the world. Part guide, part social commentary, part party invitation, 101 Places gives you all the info and inspiration you'll need to:* Blowout one (or several) of the year's biggest festivals * MacGyver your way into underground clubs and backcountry raves* Throw down with people from the Himalayas to the salt flats to Antarctica* Travel in every conceivable style—from baller to dirtbag—to some of the most epic spots on earthDo you really know where to go out in San Francisco or Tel Aviv? How about preparing for Burning Man or Oktoberfest? The award-winning journalists and photographers at Matador Network let you know what's up at each spot, whether it's drug policies, how to keep safe, special options for LGBT travelers, or simply where to find the kind of music you like to dance to. No matter if you want to rage at Ibiza or just chill on some dunes smoking shisha, 101 Places has something for you. So, hop a flight, raise a glass, and join us as we breach security, ride ill-recommended ferries, and hike miles into the wilderness all in search of the parties and places going off right now.
The Ministry of Time: The Instant Sunday Times and New York Times Bestseller
by Kaliane Bradley'A thrilling debut . . . It's very smart; it's very silly; and the obvious fun never obscures completely the sheer, gorgeous, wild stretch of her ideas'Guardian'Fast moving and riotously entertaining, a genre-busting blend of wit and wonder'OBSERVER, 10 best new novelists for 2024'Terrific, moving . . . Crack this book open and you'll see how time can disappear'FINANCIAL TIMES'I loved its combination of extreme whimsy, high seriousness and cool understatement'THE TIMES'A high-energy story with thoughtful things to say about belonging'INDEPENDENT'Utterly winning . . . Readers, I envy you: There's a smart, witty novel in your future'WASHINGTON POST'Clever, witty and thought-provoking'KATE MOSSE, author of The Ghost Ship'Make room on your bookshelves for a new classic'MAX PORTER, author of Shy'As electric, charming, whimsical and strange as its ripped-from-history cast'EMILY HENRY, author of Happy Place'Thought-provoking and horribly clever - but it also made me laugh out loud'ALICE WINN, author of In Memoriam'A feast of a novel - singular, alarming and (above all) incredibly sexy'JULIA ARMFIELD, author of Our Wives Under the Sea'A weird, kind, clever, heartsick little time bomb of a book'FRANCIS SPUFFORD, author of Golden HillA BOY MEETS A GIRL. THE PAST MEETS THE FUTURE. A FINGER MEETS A TRIGGER. THE BEGINNING MEETS THE END. ENGLAND IS FOREVER. ENGLAND MUST FALL.In the near future, a disaffected civil servant is offered a lucrative job in a mysterious new government ministry gathering 'expats' from across history to test the limits of time-travel.Her role is to work as a 'bridge': living with, assisting and monitoring the expat known as '1847' - Commander Graham Gore. As far as history is concerned, Commander Gore died on Sir John Franklin's doomed expedition to the Arctic, so he's a little disoriented to find himself alive and surrounded by outlandish concepts such as 'washing machine', 'Spotify' and 'the collapse of the British Empire'. With an appetite for discovery and a seven-a-day cigarette habit, he soon adjusts; and during a long, sultry summer he and his bridge move from awkwardness to genuine friendship, to something more.But as the true shape of the project that brought them together begins to emerge, Gore and the bridge are forced to confront their past choices and imagined futures. Can love triumph over the structures and histories that have shaped them? And how do you defy history when history is living in your house?
Once a Crooked Man: A Novel
by David McCallumA deliciously quirky crime novel from David McCallum, the beloved actor known for his portrayal of Illya Kuryakin on The Man From U.N.C.L.E. and Dr. Donald "Ducky" Mallard on NCIS. Crime pays. And pays well.Sal, Max and Enzo Bruschetti have proved this over a lifetime of nefarious activity that they have kept hidden from law enforcement. Nowhere in any file, on any computer is there a record of anything illegal from which they have profited. But Max has a problem. His body is getting old and his doctor has told him to take it easy. Max has decided that the time has come for the family to retire.But when young actor Harry Murphy overhears the Bruschetti brothers planning changes to their organization, including the murder of a man in London who knows too much, the Bruschetti's plans begin to unravel. After Harry makes the well-intentioned if egregious mistake of trying to warn the Bruchetti's intended victim he finds himself alone in a foreign country, on the wrong side of the law, with a suitcase full of cash and a dangerous man on his trail. And while his good looks, charm and cheerful persistence may prove assets in the turbulent events that follow, none of Harry's past roles have prepared him for what happens next.At turns tense and funny, Once a Crooked Man is infused with the infectious charm that has made David McCallum one of television's longest running, most-beloved stars.
World of Archie Double Digest #141 (World of Archie Digest #141)
by Archie SuperstarsBRAND NEW STORY! The gang is spending a fun day on the beach—until things start disappearing! There’s a rumor that mysterious ghost surfers are playing havoc, but that couldn’t be true… could it?
Betty & Veronica: A Year in the Life (Archie Graphic Novels #1)
by Archie SuperstarsBetty Cooper and Veronica Lodge have done it all over the last 80+ years, and now you can join them to experience a year’s worth of Riverdale adventures! This special collection shines a light on what the iconic duo tackle over the course of twelve months, from helpful hilarity to festive fun! Collects five sensational Betty & Veronica Friends Forever comics: Good Citizens, Winterfest, Spring Break, Summer Fun, and Halloween Spooktacular!
Freddie Spector, Fact Collector: Space Cadet
by Ashleigh BartonDid you know that a bolt of lightning is five times hotter than the Sun? Or that slugs have four noses? How about that humans share 50 per cent of our DNA with bananas? Freddie Spector, the world's greatest fact collector, knows all these things and so much more.Freddie Spector loves collecting facts - about anything and everything. His latest obsession is space. It's all he talks about: stars, planets, galaxies, astronauts, space travel - and, of course UFOs and extraterrestrials. Freddie writes all his facts on sticky notes that his mum and big sister, Henrietta, keep finding in weird places - like in their sock drawers or their sandwiches.But whenever Freddie collects facts on a topic, his very active imagination always gets involved too. And, after noticing some very suspicious goings-on, Freddie realises it's up to him to discover the answer to a burning question: could aliens have landed in his neighbourhood?Fast-paced and funny, this series is all about an everyday eight-year-old boy whose love of facts and extraordinary imagination come together with unexpected and hilarious results.
Freddie Spector, Fact Collector: Go for Gold
by Ashleigh BartonDid you know that lawnmower racing is a sport? Or that cranberries bounce? How about that Gentoo penguins can bodysurf?Freddie Spector loves collecting facts - about anything and everything. At the moment he's obsessed with facts about sport. It's all he talks about: weird sports, Olympic sports, extreme sports, athletes and sporting history. He writes all his facts on sticky notes that his mum and big sister, Henrietta, keep finding in weird places - like in a cup of coffee or the shower. But whenever Freddie collects facts on a topic, his very active imagination always gets involved too. And, when the medals for the school sports carnival go missing and the carnival is about to be cancelled, Freddie realises it's up to him to solve the mystery and save the day.Fast-paced and humorous, this series is all about an everyday eight-year-old boy whose love of facts and extraordinary imagination come together with unexpected and hilarious results.
Leslie F*cking Jones
by Leslie JonesWINNER OF THE 2024 AUDIE AWARD FOR HUMORA NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER A BARNES AND NOBLE'S BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR A TOWN & COUNTRY BEST CELEBRITY MEMOIR OF 2023 A VULTURE BEST COMEDY BOOK OF 2023 Hey you guys, it&’s Leslie. I&’m excited to share my story with you. Now, I&’m gonna be honest: Some of the details might be vague because a b*tch is fifty-five and she&’s smoked a ton of weed. But while bits might be a touch hazy, I can promise you the underlying truth is REAL. Whether I&’m talking about my childhood growing up in the South, my early stand-up days driving from gig to gig through the darkest parts of our country and praying I wouldn&’t get murdered, what Chris Rock told Lorne Michaels, that time I wanted to shoot Whoopi Goldberg on SNL, and yeah, I&’ll tell you all about Ghostbusters and the nudes and Supermarket Sweep and The Daily Show . . . I&’m sharing it all in these pages. It&’s not easy being a woman in comedy, especially when you&’re a tall-*ss Black woman with a trumpet voice. I have to fight so that no one takes me for granted, and no one takes advantage. These are the stories that explain why. (Cue the Law & Order theme.)
Pearl Cove (The Donovans #3)
by Elizabeth LowellHe might help her...if the price is right.Surrounded by potential enemies, Hannah McGarry faces the mystery of her husband's suspicious death, the prospect of bankruptcy...and the disappearance of the fabulous Black Trinity necklace that was to be her financial security. Desperate, she calls Archer Donovan, a silent partner in Pear Cove, her late husband's pearl farm venture. He might help her...if the price is right.Archer Donovan would rather forget he'd ever heard of Pearl Cove...its memories of living on the dark side, the soul-numbing certainty that there was no law, no justice, no mercy; just hunters and the hunted. That life taught him to trust no one but family. But when Hannah McGarry calls in an old debt Archer is back in the game. And at his side in pursuit of the stolen fortune is a woman he shouldn't want, yet cannot resist...a woman who may know more than she's telling about her husband's death...and more than is safe to know about the dark and elusive black pearls. With deadly competitors on their tails, Archer and Hannah race through uncharted waters in search of the fabulous Black Trinity. And the closer they come to finding the coveted pearls, the closer they come to danger and death...and to each other.
Chicken Big
by Keith GravesOn a teeny little farm, in an itty-bitty coop, a very small hen laid a big, giant egg. And out of this egg came one big, humongous . . . something. "It's big!" clucked the little rooster. "It's enormous!" clucked the small chicken. "It's anelephant!" peeped the smallest chicken. "Run for your lives!" they cried. No matter how they try, these clueless chickens can't make sense of the gigantic new member of their familyuntil he saves the day. With wacky, laugh-out-loud humor and silliness to spare, this BIG twist on the classic Chicken Little story lends a whole new perspective to what it means to be chicken.
A Camping Spree with Mr. Magee: 0 (Mr. Magee #Mcge)
by Chris Van DusenMr. Magee and his trusty dog, Dee, are enjoying a peaceful camping trip when all of a sudden they find themselves plunging down a mountain and teetering on the edge of a huge waterfall! How will they find their way out of this slippery situation? Chris Van Dusen, the creator of Down to the Sea with Mr. Magee, has filled this new adventure with charming illustrations and a playful, rhyming text. A fun read-aloud for children (and adults!) on campouts or snuggling at home!
The Mutations: A Novel
by Jorge Comensal"Jorge Comensal's The Mutations oscillates masterfully between comedy and tragedy, gathering up in its pages a stupendous panoply of characters before whom the reader is never sure whether to smile in sympathy or pity."—Fernando Aramburu, author of HomelandRamón Martinez is a militant atheist, successful lawyer, and conventional family man. But all of that changes when cancer of the tongue deprives him of the source of his power and livelihood: speech.The Mutations, by Jorge Comensal, is a comedy tracing the metastasis of Ramón’s cancer through his body and in the lives of his family members, colleagues, and doctors, dissecting the experience of illness and mapping the relationships both strengthened and frayed by its wake. Mateo and Paulina, his teenage children, struggle with the temptations of masturbation and binge eating, respectively. Ramón’s melancholic oncologist is haunted by the memory of a young patient whom he was unable to save. His selfish pathologist believes Ramón’s tumor holds the key to a major scientific breakthrough. And then there’s Elodia, Ramón’s pious maid, who brings him a foulmouthed parrot as a birthday gift. This lewd bird becomes Ramón’s companion, confidant, and unlikely double.Paying homage to the works of forebears such as Sontag, Didion, Flaubert, and Tolstoy, and filled with a rough-hewn poetry of regret, rage, and finally resignation, The Mutations offers a profound but funny cross section of modern Mexican life, as well as a bold treatment of an unspeakable yet universal reality
Horrid Henry: 6 Stories (Horrid Henry #1)
by Francesca SimonIt's the summer holidays and Horrid Henry would like to be spending his holidays eating unlimited ice cream and going on all the scariest roller coasters he can find - but instead his family are having a staycation. Life is never dull with Horrid Henry around, though, so it's not long before he invents all sorts of holiday activities of his own. Discover six of the funniest Horrid Henry stories, about everything from the horrors of having to help with the housework to the time he convinced Perfect Peter that a cardboard box was a time machine!An irresistible introduction to reading for pleasure, with six stories plus a fun activity section - the perfect gift for new readers and Horrid Henry fans everywhere.
And Then? And Then? What Else?: A Writer's Life
by Lemony Snicket Daniel HandlerA memoir from the beloved author behind the multimillion-copy bestselling A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS &‘Extraordinary... highly entertaining.&’ DAILY TELEGRAPH Known to most as Lemony Snicket, the tormented narrator of A Series of Unfortunate Events, Daniel Handler spends his days writing – for children and adults; film and television; and, occasionally, the accordion. Mainly, he writes about horrible things: orphans, abusive uncles, poison, murder, arson, bad grammar… A love letter to the consoling and terrifying power of books, And Then? And Then? What Else? traces Handler&’s life through morbid poetry collections, eccentric acting troupes, hazy midnight taxi rides, second-hand bookstores and psychiatric units. Traversing his personal canon from his first encounter with Baudelaire to Vladimir Nabokov, Elizabeth Bishop and The Pet Shop Boys, Handler offers a witty, poignant exploration of reading, writing and why we tell stories. &‘This erudite, vulnerable, funny and idiosyncratic book ranks among his best. Grown-up fans of Lemony Snicket will enjoy discovering the rest of the story.&’ WALL STREET JOURNAL
A Change of Heart at the Vintage Dress Shop: A heartwarming and hilarious romantic read (A Vintage Dress Shop Romance)
by Annie DarlingCressida Collins is the queen of makeovers. With a well-placed stitch, button or seam, she can transform any frock in The Vintage Dress Shop and give customers their Cinderella moment.Like her beautifully organised workroom under the eaves, Cress's life away from the shop is just as orderly and mapped out. But when her boyfriend of fifteen years drops a bombshell, it explodes all the carefully laid plans Cress had for her future.It's going to take more than needle and thread to put Cress's own life back together. Will she ever be brave enough to say goodbye to her old dreams and start over?But after designing a dress for a customer and transforming her into the woman she always wanted to be, Cress realises that it can be fun not to follow a pattern. Then there's her blossoming friendship with Miles, a very handsome and very sexy film director...Cress is about to discover that leaving a few loose threads might be the best way to mend her broken heart... A wonderfully uplifting, funny and heartfelt summer romance that will whisk you away to the haven of The Vintage Dress Shop. Perfect for fans of Sarah Morgan, Heidi Swain and Phillipa Ashley.Praise for Annie Darling:'Funny and heartwarming' Reader review ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'Absolutely gorgeous, swoon worthy romance' Reader review ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'Heartwarming and compelling' Reader review ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'An absolute delight!' Reader review ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
A Change of Heart at the Vintage Dress Shop: A heartwarming and hilarious romantic read (A Vintage Dress Shop Romance)
by Annie Darling'I loved this!... Fell in love with the characters and loved the camaraderie between the Vintage Dress Shop staff... A lovely, summery read... Highly recommend!' Reader review ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐Cressida Collins is the queen of makeovers. With a well-placed stitch, button or seam, she can transform any frock in The Vintage Dress Shop and give customers their Cinderella moment. Like her beautifully organised workroom under the eaves, Cress's life away from the shop is just as orderly and mapped out. But when her boyfriend of fifteen years drops a bombshell, it explodes all the carefully laid plans Cress had for her future. It's going to take more than needle and thread to put Cress's own life back together. Will she ever be brave enough to say goodbye to her old dreams and start over? But after designing a dress for a customer and transforming her into the woman she always wanted to be, Cress realises that it can be fun not to follow a pattern. Then there's her blossoming friendship with Miles, a very handsome and very sexy film director... Cress is about to discover that leaving a few loose threads might be the best way to mend her broken heart... A wonderfully uplifting, funny and heartfelt summer romance that will whisk you away to the haven of The Vintage Dress Shop. Perfect for fans of Sarah Morgan, Heidi Swain and Phillipa Ashley. Everyone is falling in love with A Change of Heart at the Vintage Dress Shop: 'A fab book... Absolutely loved it... Great to be back in the vintage clothes shop. There are great characters... The author's love of London is fab... A great read' Reader review ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'A lovely feel good read. It has beautiful vintage dresses, a coming into self-confidence and the finding of love... A whirlwind adventure... I absolutely love Miles - he is the perfect book boyfriend!' Reader review ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'Funny with brilliant characters which made it a real page-turner for me. This book is not to be missed' Reader review ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'A wonderful romantic novel which is an ideal summer read' Reader review ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Horrid Henry: 6 Stories (Horrid Henry #1)
by Francesca SimonIt's the summer holidays and Horrid Henry would like to be spending his holidays eating unlimited ice cream and going on all the scariest roller coasters he can find - but instead his family are having a staycation. Life is never dull with Horrid Henry around, though, so it's not long before he invents all sorts of holiday activities of his own. Discover six of the funniest Horrid Henry stories, about everything from the horrors of having to help with the housework to the time he convinced Perfect Peter that a cardboard box was a time machine!An irresistible introduction to reading for pleasure, with six stories plus a fun activity section - the perfect gift for new readers and Horrid Henry fans everywhere.