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All My Patients Kick and Bite: Favorite Stories from a Vet's Practice
by Jeff WellsThe highly amusing, uplifting and entertaining follow-up to All My Patients Have TalesIn this second collection by our intrepid vet, Jeff Wells has his work cut out for him when he learns thatllamas do not take kindly to having their toenails trimmed, dog owners in the medical field can be a real pain, Scottish Highland cattle stick together and just might run a vet out of their enclosure, and fixing an overly amorous burro often needs to be prioritized. Told with Wells's trademark humor and gentle touch, these and many other heartwarming, heartbreaking, funny and strange stories will give readers a whole new appreciation for those who care for our pets..
The Fool's Progress: An Honest Novel
by Edward AbbeyThe Fool's Progress, the "fat masterpiece" as Edward Abbey labeled it, is his most important piece of writing: it reveals the complete Ed Abbey, from the green grass of his memory as a child in Appalachia to his approaching death in Tuscon at age sixty two. When his third wife abandons him in Tucson, boozing, misanthropic anarchist Henry Holyoak Lightcap shoots his refrigerator and sets off in a battered pick-up truck for his ancestral home in West Virginia. Accompanied only by his dying dog and his memories, the irascible warhorse (a stand-in for the "real" Abbey) begins a bizarre cross-country odyssey--determined to make peace with his past--and to wage one last war against the ravages of "progress.""A profane, wildly funny, brash, overbearing, exquisite tour de force." -- The Chicago Tribune
This Is How It Really Sounds: A Novel
by Stuart Archer CohenRanging from the wicked noir Shanghai of 1946, to the echo chambers of Hollywood, to remote, snow-covered mountains, Stuart Archer Cohen's This Is How it Really Sounds follows three men, each in search of a different life. Small-town Alaskan "Harry" Harrington is a legend in a small circle, once the world's greatest extreme skier, racing avalanches and knocking back flips off of cliffs. Peter Harrington is a world-famous financier, hated across the globe for making hundreds of millions of dollars on his hedge fund, and fleeing New York to begin a new venture in Shanghai. Finally, there is Pete Harrington, a middle-aged rock star, now touring third-tier venues and fleeing bankruptcy, but hoping that one great new song can rescue him. All are seeking something that has slipped away--youth, power, purpose, magic; all are wonderful creations, whose strangely familiar lives and dreams become unforgettable. Mingling wickedly-funny satire with heart-stopping adventure, This is How it Really Sounds explores the seductive power of the unlived life, and what happens when you finally grasp it.
The Grasshopper Trap
by Patrick F. McManusPatrick F. McManus, the “funniest guy in the Outdoor Life and Field & Stream gang…offers another bag of whimsy in the Great Outdoors”* with The Grasshopper Trap. In this collection of thirty zany stories, spoofing camping, fishing, and other outdoor recreational activities, McManus shares his hilarious wilderness misadventures. From facing an angry bear with an unloaded gun and the folly of running a boat while it’s still on the trailer to not questioning the ingredients found in camp cookout cuisine and the best methods of catching grasshoppers, no one knows how to express Mother Nature’s sense of humor like Patrick F. McManus. “It’s enough to tickle the most rabid member of the National Rifle Association.”—*Kirkus Reviews
The Bear in the Attic
by Patrick F. McManusThe beloved humorist and bestselling author returns with his most riotous collection of essays to date.Overflowing with his trademark outdoorsman's wit, Patrick F. McManus's newest collection ponders the strange allure of the RV, the existential implications of being lost, the baffling tendency of animals to outsmart those who wish to hunt them, and the singular pleasure of doubling the size of every fish one doesn't actually catch.Combining the curmudgeonly voice of Dave Barry and the sly humor of Garrison Keillor, McManus brilliantly captures the everyday absurdities that comprise our existence. Alongside his humor, McManus's inimitable vision consistently evokes a childlike wonder at the natural world. Even if we are running low on food, the compass is broken, and we are fairly certain we have just spotted a family of Sasquatches frolicking in the treetops, The Bear in the Attic makes the outdoors seem irresistible.
You Don't Sweat Much for a Fat Girl: Observations On Life From The Shallow End Of The Pool
by Celia RivenbarkFrom the bestselling, award-winning author of You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start In The Morning, comes another collection of hilarious observations that will resonate with women, mothers, and girlfriends everywhere In her newest wickedly irreverent humor collection, Celia Rivenbark cracks up while getting her downward facing dog on, pines for a world in which every mom gets to behave like Betty Draper and wonders why everybody's so excited about the Science Fair when there aren't even any rides. In it you'll find essays on such topics as:- Menopause Spurs Thoughts of Death and Turkey - I Dreamed a Dream That My Lashes Were Long- Twitter Woes: I've Got Plenty of Characters, Just No Character - Movie To-Do List: Cook Like Julia, Adopt Really Big Kid - Charlie Bit Your Finger? Good! And other thoughts on the virus that is YouTubeAnd much more! For any woman who longs for the good old days when Jane Fonda in legwarmers was the only one who saw you exercise, YOU DON'T SWEAT MUCH FOR A FAT GIRL is comfort food in book form.
Real Ponies Don't Go Oink!
by Patrick F. McManusBestsellers by America's favorite humorist:A Fine And Pleasant MiseryThey Shoot Canoes, Don't They?Never Sniff A Gift FishThe Grasshopper TrapRubber Legs And White Tail-hairsThe Night The Bear Ate GoombawWhatchagot Stew (with Patricia "The Troll" McManus Gass)Real Ponies Don't Go Oink!The Good Samaritan Strikes AgainHow I Got This WayThese titles are available from Henry Holt and Company.
Me, Who Dove into the Heart of the World: A Novel
by Sabina BermanA transporting and brilliant comic novel narrated by an unforgettable woman: Karen Nieto, an autistic savant whose idiosyncrasies prove her greatest giftsAs intimate as it is profound, and as clear-eyed as it is warmhearted, Me, Who Dove into the Heart of the World marks an extraordinary debut by the award-winning Mexican playwright, journalist, and poet Sabina Berman.Karen Nieto passed her earliest years as a feral child, left alone to wander the vast beach property near her family's failing tuna cannery. But when her aunt Isabelle comes to Mexico to take over the family business, she discovers a real girl amidst the squalor. So begins a miraculous journey for autistic savant Karen, who finds freedom not only in the love and patient instruction of her aunt but eventually at the bottom of the ocean swimming among the creatures of the sea. Despite how far she's come, Karen remains defined by the things she can't do—until her gifts with animals are finally put to good use at the family's fishery. Her plan is brilliant: Consolation Tuna will be the first humane tuna fishery on the planet. Greenpeace approves, fame and fortune follow, and Karen is swept on a global journey that explores how we live, what we eat, and how our lives can defy even our own wildest expectations.
Rainbow Mars
by Larry NivenFive-time Hugo Award-winner Larry Niven weaves together time travel and fantasy through short stories and a novella to create an utterly unique book on the origin of the Martian "canals."Hanville Svetz was born into a future earth that matches the sorriest predictions of Greenpeace. With most of Earth's original species extinct, Svetz travels back and forth in time retrieving them. Svetz learns that Mars was inhabited, and how the sapient Martian species were wiped out. He forsees that Earth could soon fall victim to the same fate.At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
Queenan Country: A Reluctant Anglophile's Pilgrimage to the Mother Country
by Joe QueenanIn this hilarious romp through England, one of America's preeminent humorists seeks the answer to an eternal question: What makes the Brits tick? One semitropical Fourth of July, Joe Queenan's English wife suggested that the family might like a chicken vindaloo in lieu of the customary barbecue. It was this pitiless act of gastronomic cultural oppression, coupled with dread of the fearsome Christmas pudding that awaited him for dessert, that inspired the author to make a solitary pilgrimage to Great Britain. Freed from the obligation to visit an unending procession of Aunty Margarets and Cousin Robins, as he had done for the first twenty-six years of their marriage, Queenan decided that he would not come back from Albion until he had finally penetrated the limey heart of darkness.His trip was not in vain. Crisscrossing Old Blighty like Cromwell hunting Papists, Queenan finally came to terms with the choochiness, squiffiness, ponciness, and sticky wicketness that lie at the heart of the British character. Here he is trying to find out whose idea it was to impale King Edward II on a red-hot poker-and what this says about English sexual politics. Here he is in an Edinburgh pub foolishly trying to defend Paul McCartney's "Ebony and Ivory." And here he is, trapped in a concert hall with a Coventry-based all-Brit Eagles tribute band named Talon who resent that they are nowhere near as famous as their evil nemeses, the Illegal Eagles. At the end of his epic adventure, the author returns chastened, none the wiser, but encouraged that his wife is actually as sane as she is, in light of her fellow countrymen.
Rubber Legs and White Tail-Hairs
by Patrick F. McManusAmerica's favorite outdoor humorist is back with an outrageously fresh collection of stories. He introduces a variety of friends old and new, and takes readers to many exotic locales outdoors and indoors.
Dogs and Goddesses: A Novel
by Anne Stuart Jennifer Crusie Lani Diane RichAbby has just arrived in Summerville, Ohio, with her placid Newfoundland, Bowser. She's reluctantly inherited her grandmother's coffee shop, but it's not long before she's brewing up trouble in the form of magical baked goods and steaming up her life with an exasperating college professor. And then there's Daisy, a web code writer, and her hyperactive Jack Russell, Bailey. Her tightly-wound world spins out of control when she discovers the chaos within and meets a mysterious dog trainer whose teaching style is definitely hands-on.Finally there's Shar, professor of ancient history at Summerville College, who wakes up one morning to find her neurotic dachshund, Wolfie, snarling at an implacable god sitting at her kitchen table, the first thing in her life she hasn't been able to footnote. What on earth is going on in this unearthly little town? It's up to Abby, Daisy, and Shar to find out before an ancient goddess takes over Southern Ohio, and they all end up in the apocalyptic doghouse…
Ham Biscuits, Hostess Gowns, and Other Southern Specialties: An Entertaining Life (with recipes)
by Julia ReedSouthern humorist Julia Reed celebrates Southern food, Southern women, and the Southern penchant for enjoying good times in this collection of her food writing.Julia Reed spends a lot of time thinking about ham biscuits. And cornbread and casseroles and the surprisingly modern ease of donning a hostess gown for one's own party. In Ham Biscuits, Hostess Gowns and Other Southern Specialties Julia Reed collects her thoughts on good cooking and the lessons of gracious entertaining that pass from one woman to another, and takes the reader on a lively and very personal tour of the culinary -- and social -- South. In essays on everything from pork chops to the perfect picnic Julia Reed revels in the simple good qualities that make the Southern table the best possible place to pull up a chair. She expounds on: the Southerner's relentless penchant for using gelatinwhy most things taste better with homemade mayonnaisethe necessity of a holiday milk punch (and, possibly, a Santa hat)how best to "cook for compliments" (at least one squash casserole and Lee Bailey's barbequed veal are key). She provides recipes for some of the region's best-loved dishes (cheese straws, red velvet cake, breakfast shrimp), along with her own variations on the classics, including Fried Oysters Rockefeller Salad and Creole Crab Soup. She also elaborates on worthwhile information every hostess would do well to learn: the icebreaking qualities of a Ramos gin fizz and a hot crabmeat canapé, for example; the "wow factor" intrinsic in a platter of devilled eggs or a giant silver punchbowl filled with scoops of homemade ice cream. There is guidance on everything from the best possible way to "eat" your luck on New Year's Day to composing a menu in honor of someone you love. Grace and hilarity under gastronomic pressure suffuse these essays, along with remembrances of her gastronomic heroes including Richard Olney, Mary Cantwell, and M.F.K. Fisher. Ham Biscuits, Hostess Gowns and Other Southern Specialties is another great book about the South from Julia Reed, a writer who makes her experiences in—and out of—the kitchen a joy to read.
P.S. Your Cat Is Dead: A Novel
by James KirkwoodIt's New Year's Eve in New York City. Your best friend died in September, you've been robbed twice, your girlfriend is leaving you, you've lost your job...and the only one left to talk to is the gay burglar you've got tied up in the kitchen... P.S. your cat is dead.An instant classic upon its initial publication, P.S. Your Cat is Dead received widespread critical acclaim and near fanatical reader devotion. The stage version of the novel was equally successful and there are still over 200 new productions of it staged every year. Now, for the first time in a decade, James Kirkwood's much-loved black humor comic novel of manners and escalating disaster returns to bewitch and beguile a new generation.
Tell Me Lies: A Novel
by Jennifer CrusieMaddie Faraday's life would be perfect--if it weren't forher cheating husbandher suspicious daughterher gossipy motherher secretive best friendher nosy neighbors,and that guy she lost her virginity to twenty years ago...In Tell Me Lies, Jennifer Cruise dishes up a funny, sexy, suspenseful novel about small-town secrets, big-time betrayals and the redemptive power of love, laughter and chocolate brownies.
You Know You're a Football Fanatic When... (You Know You're ... Ser.)
by Ben FraserYou know you're a football fanatic when... ... your mobile ringtone sounds suspiciously like the theme tune for Match of the Day. ... you have your house carpeted in AstroTurf. If this sounds all too familiar, read on to discover whether you're truly obsessed with the beautiful game or just another armchair supporter.
Don't Be a D*ck: A Self-Help Guide to Being F*cking Awesome
by Joseph DeweyWe’re not implying anything but…It’s time for a bit of no-nonsense advice in the form of some choice expletive-laden life lessons. This small but f*cking mighty tome is just the tonic to set you on the path to being an awesome human, and will teach YOU how not to be a D*CK.
The Best Cat Memes Ever: The Funniest Relatable Memes as Told by Cats
by Charlie EllisDive into this book of hilarious and relatable memes as told by the internet’s favourite animal: cats! For life’s every up and down, there’s a meme to capture the feeling – and with their sassy personalities, their endless curiosity and their distinct capacity for being that little bit odd, who better to live these moments with us than our cuddly feline friends?You might not realize it, but some of the everyday moments in our lives are actually universal – and these cats are here to tell it like it is.Have you ever experienced:The awkward moment someone says “Just smile naturally” and you forget what natural is?The moment you accidentally open the front-facing camera and you’re confronted with your many chins?The flash of terror when you’re home alone and you hear an odd noise?The satisfaction of walking in time to your music?The crushing awkwardness of saying “you too” when a waiter tells you to enjoy your meal?If you answered “yes” to any of the above, then this book is for you! Look no further and dive into this collection, which contains the most hilarious and relatable memes about life, told through the expressive brilliance of cats.
A Little Bit of Golfing Wit: Quips and Quotes for the Golf-Obsessed
by Tom HayLaugh yourself off the fairway with this mini-collection of golfing humour – the very best quips and quotes for the golf-obsessed.
Bless Your Heart, Tramp!: And Other Southern Endearments
by Celia RivenbarkFrom the wickedly hilarious pen of Southern humorist Celia Rivenbark comes a collection of essays that brings to mind Dave Barry (in high heels) or Jeff Foxworthy (in a prom dress).Step into the wacky world of "womanless wedding" fund-raisers, in which Bubbas wear boas. Meet two sisters who fight rural boredom by washing Budweiser cans and cutting them into pieces to make clothing. Learn why the word snow sends any right-thinking Southerner careening to the Food Lion for extra loaves of bread and little else. Humor columnist and slightly crazed belle-by-birth Celia Rivenbark tackles these and other lard-laden subjects in Bless Your Heart, Tramp, a hilarious look at Southern---and just plain human---foibles, up-close and personal. So pour yourself a glass of sweet tea and curl up on the pie-azza with Bless Your Heart, Tramp.
Beer Games: A Hilarious Collection of Drinking Games, Challenges and Dares
by Summersdale PublishersIt's time to take beer drinking to the next level? These outrageous challenges, hilarious dares and awesome drinking games will make beer drinking even better than it was before.A good session will never be the same. Rise to the challenge, if you dare…
What Is Your Baby Really Thinking?: All the Things Your Baby Wished They Could Tell You
by Sam HartThe secret’s out!When you look into your baby’s big, beautiful eyes, it can be hard to know what on earth is going through their curious minds. Well you needn’t wonder any more, because after delving deep into baby psychology we can now reveal the real thoughts behind those adorable pudgy faces.Find out what they’re really thinking when you blow raspberries on their tum-tum or "steal" their nose, why they particularly enjoy spitting up over your nice clean top, and what that funny expression means when you make them wear "novelty" onesies.
52 Things to Do While You Poo: The Turd Edition
by Hugh JassburnTurds tell us a lot about who we are (not just what we’ve eaten). And these steaming symbols of our common humanity deserve to be celebrated, especially in the moment of their creation. Renowned poo-fessor of scatology Hugh Jassburn has therefore compiled this fresh collection of polished puzzles and fascinating trivia. Discover what merde is made of, or where there’s a museum dedicated to dumps. Solve stool-themed word searches and mind-boggling sudokus. Embrace the absurd and pay tribute to the turd.
You Know You're a Rugby Fanatic When... (You Know You're ... Ser.)
by Steven GaugeYou know you're a rugby fanatic when... ... your Facebook profile photo is a close-up of your latest injury. ... you own more replica shirts than work ones. If this sounds all too familiar, read one to discover whether you're truly obsessed with the odd-shaped ball or just one player short of a scrum!
How to Survive University: An Essential Pocket Guide
by Tamsin KingWhether your passion is society life, studying or shots, your university experience will hold both new adventures and fresh challenges. This guide is packed with tips to help you survive and thrive at uni, from pulling an all-nighter in the library to an all-nighter at the club.