- Table View
- List View
5 More Sleeps ‘til Christmas
by Jimmy FallonHost of NBC's The Tonight Show and three-time #1 New York Times-bestselling author Jimmy Fallon returns with this sweet and spirited Christmas picture book. Just 5 more sleeps 'til Christmas! Can you believe it's here? I know that Santa's coming soon 'cause I've been good all year. Everyone who grew up celebrating Christmas remembers the excitement that built up to the most magical day of the year. But why not make the last week until Christmas more fun by counting how many sleeps until the arrival of Santa and his reindeer? Accompanied by the beautiful and energetic artwork of Rich Deas, enjoy the humor of Jimmy Fallon as he prepares readers for the most exciting week of the year in this new holiday tradition for your family—5 More Sleeps 'til Christmas.
5-Minute Parenting Fixes: Quick Tips and Advice for the Everyday Challenges of Raising Children
by Liat Hughes JoshiWe all have busy lives but want to be the best parent to our child, without compromise.Many of us turn to the internet when we want a snap answer to a parenting dilemma, but how do we determine what is reliable information? This book is the antidote to those overwhelming search engine results. It’s a one-stop source for time-poor parents who need reliable, tried and tested advice on all the parenting conundrums from classic to topical, such as:What’s the best way to encourage good behavior?How can I ensure my child has a healthy body image.How can I ensure they do their homework with minimal fuss?How can I get my children to play nicely together instead of fight?With no-nonsense solutions, each designed to be read in less than 5 minutes, this book will help to boost your confidence when making important parenting decisions.
5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners
by Grant Tucker"I'll never forget the words my granddad said before he kicked the bucket. He said 'Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.'""The key to any marriage is spontaneity. You've got to be ready to leave at any time."Bringing together some of the funniest, wittiest, and most cutting jokes the world over, Grant Tucker's volume is the definitive collection of the quips comedians call "one-liners." Short, sweet, and undeniably clever, one-liners hold a special place in the history of comedy, and the rise of Twitter and social media seems to have ushered in a new era of this comedic art form. With most people expressing themselves in 140 characters or less, there seems no better time to celebrate Grant's collection and the immortal one-liner.Side-splittingly funny, 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners has all the puns, zingers, and witty remarks you could ever ask for--and many you'd never dream of asking for. "My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.""A dyslexic man walks into a bra.""Corduroy pillows: they're making headlines!""Promises are a bit like babies: fun to make but hard to deliver.""Schizophrenia--together I can beat it.""Drugs are never the answer. Unless the clue is: 'Narcotics, five letters.'"
499 Words Every College Student Should Know: A Professor's Handbook on Words Essential to Great Writing & Better Grades
by Stephen SpignesiWords equal credibility. The more articulate a person is, the more seriously they will be taken?by everyone.On any given day, you might read ?abrogate” used in a USA Today article; or ?demagogue” or ?fiduciary” used on CNN. You might hear ?ensorcelled” and ?torpor” in a TV drama; you’ll hear a political candidate described as ?truculent.” You may hear ?pedantic” used in a movie. How many of these words are part of most college students’ ?arsenal of words”? Hopefully all of them, but if not, 499 Words Every College Student Should Know will provide them with what they need to become more articulate in their speaking and writing. It will also enhance their comprehension in their reading, ultimately culminating in what every student aspires to: earning better grades!499 Words Every College Student Should Know teaches truly important vocabulary words and focuses on Professor Spignesi’s classroom-tested Trinity of Vocabulary Use. For each word, the vocabulary-enriched and educated student will be able to:Understand the word in their readingUse the word in their speakingMake good use of the word in their writingUsing easy-to-understand, informative, and often humorous explanations of every word, 499 Words Every College Student Should Know also explores how to use the words in sentences, and in proper context. The majority of these words were individually chosen because they are fairly commonplace in media, books, online, and elsewhere, and students need to be able to understand them. Knowing them ? in fact, using the words and making them part of their everyday language ? will make any college student or those soon-to-be, more credible.
488 Rules for Life: The Thankless Art of Being Correct
by Kitty Flanagan&“Rule no. 1: Buy this book, laugh out loud, become a better person.&” —Jason Alexander 488 Rules for Life is not a self-help book, because it&’s not you who needs help—it&’s other people. Whether they&’re walking and texting, asphyxiating you on public transport with their noxious perfume cloud, or leaving one useless square of toilet paper on the roll, people just don&’t know the rules. But now, thanks to Australian comedian Kitty Flanagan&’s comprehensive guide to modern behavior, our world will soon be a much better place. A place where people don&’t ruin the fruit salad by putting banana in it . . . where your co-workers refrain from reheating their fish curry in the office microwave . . . where middle-aged men don&’t have ponytails. What started as a joke on Kitty Flanagan&’s popular segment on ABC-TV&’s The Weekly is now a quintessential reference book with the power to change society. (Or, at least, make it a bit less irritating.)
488 Rules for Life: The Thankless Art of Being Correct
by Kitty Flanagan&“Rule no. 1: Buy this book, laugh out loud, become a better person.&” —Jason Alexander 488 Rules for Life is not a self-help book, because it&’s not you who needs help—it&’s other people. Whether they&’re walking and texting, asphyxiating you on public transport with their noxious perfume cloud, or leaving one useless square of toilet paper on the roll, people just don&’t know the rules. But now, thanks to Australian comedian Kitty Flanagan&’s comprehensive guide to modern behavior, our world will soon be a much better place. A place where people don&’t ruin the fruit salad by putting banana in it . . . where your co-workers refrain from reheating their fish curry in the office microwave . . . where middle-aged men don&’t have ponytails. What started as a joke on Kitty Flanagan&’s popular segment on ABC-TV&’s The Weekly is now a quintessential reference book with the power to change society. (Or, at least, make it a bit less irritating.)
Los 47 ronin: (El pequeño Leo Da Vinci 10)
by Christian Gálvez¡Únete a la pandilla Da Vinci y acompaña a Leo y sus amigos en esta increíble aventura! Miguel Ángel encuentra a dos niños samuráis que necesitan la ayuda de la pandilla. ¡El malvado Kira Kozukenosuke ha invadido su pueblo! Ellos quieren ayudarles, pero ¿cómo irán hasta Japón? Además, deberán convertirse en unos grandes samuráis y dominar el arte del bushido. ¿Podrán enfrentarse al ejército del maligno Kira y devolver la paz al pueblo? ¡Descubre la leyenda de los 47 ronin! Y, además, agudiza al máximo tus neuronas y resuelve un montón de enigmas...
45: A Portrait of My Knucklehead Brother Jeb
by Scott Dikkers Peter HillerenAn irreverent take on the national bestseller 41: A Portrait of My Father by George W. Bush, 45 is a no-holds-barred tell-all written in the voice of former president George W. Bush as he stumps for his brother Jeb--perhaps doing more harm than good. In 45: A Portrait of My Knucklehead Brother Jeb, George W. Bush takes readers on a journey through his "butt-faced kid brother's" life, detailing the experiences that forged his presidential character, and in his own plainspoken and sometimes even comprehensible style, showing us why the younger Bush should be the next leader of the free world. And while he definitely wants Jeb to be commander-in-chief, he just can't stop razzing him either. 45 is the most hilarious (and backhanded) presidential endorsement you've ever read--a true literary noogie from one brother to another.
44 Scotland Street (44 Scotland Street #1)
by Alexander McCall SmithThe bestselling author of the No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency Series brings his trademark warmth and wisdom to his novel chronicling the lives of the residents of 44 Scotland Street that's 'as charming as the bohemian street in which it's set' (Scottish Daily Record)The story revolves around the comings and goings at No. 44 Scotland Street, a fictitious building in a real street in Edinburgh. Immediately recognisable are the Edinburgh chartered surveyor, stalwart of the Conservative Association, who dreams of membership of Scotland's most exclusive golf club. We have the pushy Stockbridge mother, and her prodigiously talented five-year-old son, who is making good progress with the saxophone and with his Italian. Then there is Domenica Macdonald who is that type of Edinburgh lady who sees herself as a citizen of a broader intellectual world.In McCall Smith's hands such characters retain charm and novelty, simultaneously arousing both mirth and empathy. 44 Scotland Street is vintage McCall Smith, tackling issues of trust and honesty, snobbery and hypocrisy, love and loss, but all with great lightness of touch. Clever, elegant and funny, this is a novel that provides huge entertainment but which is underpinned by the moral dilemmas of everyday life and the characters' struggles to resolve them.Contains an exclusive extract from The Department of Sensitive Crimes, the first novel in the new Detective Varg series by Alexander McCall Smith
44 Scotland Street (44 Scotland Street #1)
by Alexander McCall SmithThe story revolves around the comings and goings at No. 44 Scotland Street, a fictitious building in a real street in Edinburgh. Immediately recognisable are the Edinburgh chartered surveyor, stalwart of the Conservative Association, who dreams of membership of Scotland's most exclusive golf club. We have the pushy Stockbridge mother, and her prodigiously talented five-year-old son, who is making good progress with the saxophone and with his Italian. Then there is Domenica Macdonald who is that type of Edinburgh lady who sees herself as a citizen of a broader intellectual world.In McCall Smith's hands such characters retain charm and novelty, simultaneously arousing both mirth and empathy. 44 Scotland Street is vintage McCall Smith, tackling issues of trust and honesty, snobbery and hypocrisy, love and loss, but all with great lightness of touch. Clever, elegant and funny, this is a novel that provides huge entertainment but which is underpinned by the moral dilemmas of everyday life and the characters' struggles to resolve them.
44 Scotland Street: 44 Scotland Street; Espresso Tales; Love Over Scotland; The World According to Bertie; The Unbearable Lightness of Scones
by Alexander Mccall SmithOne of Alexander McCall Smith’s bestselling series and the funniest, 44 Scotland Street is the world's longest-running serialized novel and continues to be published weekly in The Scotsman newspaper for three months of each year. The 44 Scotland Street series is truly heart-warming, terribly funny and filled with the day-to-day lives of the residents of 44 Scotland Street, a converted Georgian townhouse in Edinburgh. The first five novels chronicle the episodes that begin when 20-year-old Pat rents a room from handsome and cocky Bruce, and inherits some delightfully colourful neighbours: Domenica, an insightful and eccentric widow; Bertie, a 5-year-old who’s mastered both saxophone and Italian; and Irene, his overbearing mother. Pat has a new job at an art gallery, where her contemplative boss, Matthew, spends most of his time drinking coffee in a local café and discussing matters great and small, with barista Big Lou, wise and lovelorn. Pat’s duties are light, until she realizes that one of their paintings may be an undiscovered work of a renowned Scottish artist and she discovers that one of their customers may be in on the secret. Add to this a fancy ball, love triangles, an encounter with a famous crime writer, the dog-napping of painter Angus Lordie’s gold-toothed dog with a heart of gold, Cyril, and McCall Smith’s observations on a wide range of issues, including the merits of various forms of olive oil, the domestic economy of contemporary pirate households and our human search for happiness, and you have an incredibly entertaining and nuanced portrait of Edinburgh society.In the first five novels—44 Scotland Street, Espresso Tales, Love Over Scotland, The World According to Bertie and The Unbearable Lightness of Scones—full of gently satirical humour and sympathy for his characters, McCall Smith offers an affectionate portrait of a city and its people who, in his own words, “make Edinburgh one of the most vibrant and interesting places in the world.”
44 Scotland Street: 44 Scotland Street Series (1) (44 Scotland Street Series #1)
by Alexander Mccall Smith44 SCOTLAND STREET - Book 1 The residents and neighbors of 44 Scotland Street and the city of Edinburgh come to vivid life in these gently satirical, wonderfully perceptive serial novels, featuring six-year-old Bertie, a remarkably precocious boy--just ask his mother. Welcome to 44 Scotland Street, home to some of Edinburgh's most colorful characters. There's Pat, a twenty-year-old who has recently moved into a flat with Bruce, an athletic young man with a keen awareness of his own appearance. Their neighbor, Domenica, is an eccentric and insightful widow. In the flat below are Irene and her appealing son Bertie, who is the victim of his mother's desire for him to learn the saxophone and italian-all at the tender age of five.Love triangles, a lost painting, intriguing new friends, and an encounter with a famous Scottish crime writer are just a few of the ingredients that add to this delightful and witty portrait of Edinburgh society, which was first published as a serial in The Scotsman newspaper.From the Trade Paperback edition.
42 Reasons to Hate the Universe: (And One Reason Not To)
by Chris Ferrie Wade David Fairclough Byrne LaGinestraIf you've always suspected the universe was out to get you… you were right!Yes, the universe we live in is cosmically beautiful and mysterious and all that crap. But it's also a bit of an asshole. After all, remember that you are just a group of atoms structured in a specific way for barely long enough to try to understand this thing we call existence. Those atoms could just have easily been used to make the dog shit you're cleaning off your shoe or the mold that grows on your bread! The fact is, when you zoom out to look at the universe and how it functions, you'll see that it's usually not in our favor, and many of the laws of physics are actively working against our survival. In this book, you'll discover why:You're an aging mutantInvisible rays are melting our genetic codeThe Earth is covered in explosive pimplesLiterally everything is poisonousAnd more true and terrifying scientific facts!But don't worry! While it's true that there are (at least) forty-two grudges to hold against the universe, the good news is that there is also one very good reason to forgive them all and embrace the wild, improbable fact that we are alive (for now) and we should take advantage of it while we can. 42 Reasons to Hate the Universe (And One Reason Not To) is a hilarious, no-holds-barred exploration of all the reasons we shouldn't exist—but somehow do anyway. Rooted in scientific research but written simply so that evolved apes such as ourselves can understand where the heck we came from and where we're likely going, this book is for all the nerds and nihilists who know they're going down in the end but want to enjoy the rollercoaster ride of existence on the way.
41 Reasons I'm Staying In: A Celebration of Introverts (Apple FF)
by Hallie HealdIn a world of seemingly unending social obligations, we could all use a night off. In 41 Reasons I'm Staying In, illustrator and self-proclaimed introvert Hallie Heald imaginatively portrays engaging and sometimes outlandish excuses to avoid leaving home.With each page comes a new room and character, pursuing their obsessions, hobbies, interests, and sudden whims with gusto: plotting world takeover, learning magic, mooning over a crush, evading taxes, and beyond. This dark and humorous celebration of introverts offers a unique look into their private worlds and reminds us of the deep fulfillment and joy we can find in spending time alone.
40: A Doonesbury Retrospective 1970 to 1979
by G. B. TrudeauCreated by the team that brought you The Complete Far Side and The Complete Calvin and Hobbes, the massive anthology 40 marks Doonesbury&’s40th anniversary by examining in depth the characters that have given the strip such vitality. This first volume of the four-volume e-book edition of 40 covers the years 1970 to 1979 for the celebrated cartoon strip.
4% Famous
by Deborah SchoenemanWhich loose-lipped gal about town has been caught canoodling with a randy restaurateur? Sources say the new “legs” of the Examiner’s gossip column has been helping him bury his long-simmering scandal even though it’s been eating away at her conscience. Which grizzly tabloid guy better watch his way with the ladies? We hear he got more than a hangover from a boozy night out with a mattress (model/actress) that may cost him his burgeoning relationship with a precocious Park Avenue princess. Which Wall Street mogul is about to be busted for fuzzy math on his taxes? Luckily, his ink-stained son is digging up a diversion to take down a blowhard billionaire instead. In the novel 4% Famous, Kate Simon, Tim Mack, and Blake Bradley negotiate the ruthless underworld of Manhattan while working for the city’s top gossip columns. Friends, lovers, and frenemies may come and go as quickly as the fame quotient of the celebrities they cover, but the young columnists must figure out for themselves what—and who—is worth protecting as they try to avoid becoming fodder for Manhattan’s boldfaced games. Sexy, exciting, and addictively readable, 4% Famous is an intimate fictional tale of a bizarre industry full of characters and secrets that are as seductive and dark as New York City itself.
4 Bodies and a Funeral (Body Movers #4)
by Stephanie Bond“Combines fast paced mystery with spicy romance . . . a captivating tale” from the author of 3 Men and a Body (A Romance Review).One cadaver, two cadaver, three cadaver, four . . . Ever had one of those days? A surprise visit from her father—who’s on the run from the law—has given Carlotta Wren a lot to think about. Should she join her former fiancé, Peter, in proving her father is innocent? If she does, are her body-moving days over?And then . . . A close friend’s behavior begins to spin out of control . . . The cops turn up the heat on her father’s case . . . Carlotta discovers that her brother Wesley’s gambling debts are child’s play compared to his new vice . . . And the Charmed Killer, a serial murderer, unleashes his wrath on Atlanta. Now the bodies are piling up—and Carlotta’s father is the number one suspect!“Nonstop action from the first page.” —Fresh Fiction“As funny and charming as its predecessors in the Body Movers series, this is a quickly paced, impeccably plotted story that’s guaranteed to please.” —Romantic TimesLook for all the books in Stephanie Bond’s Body Movers series:Party Crashers (prequel)Body Movers2 Bodies for the Price of 13 Men and a Body4 Bodies and a Funeral5 Bodies to Die For6 Killer Bodies6 1/2 Body Parts (novella)7 Brides for 7 Bodies8 Bodies Is Enough9 Bodies Rolling 10 Bodies Lying11 Bodies Moving On 12 Bodies and a Wedding
37
by Maria BeaumontOn the eve of her thirty-seventh birthday, Fran Clark finds herself in a role she would never have envisioned: that of a surprisingly desperate housewife. As Fran halfheartedly attempts to relaunch her once-vibrant career as a voiceover artist and obsesses over keeping up with the ruthless mothers' scene at her children's school, she begins to realize that her thirty-seventh year isn't going to resemble the midlife bliss she had imagined. Instead, she makes excuses for the fact that she's depressed and drinking -- a lot. But when Fran realizes she has failed her children one too many times, and begins to suspect her husband is having an affair, she knows she has hit rock bottom. It is Fran's two closest friends who ultimately come to her rescue. She learns to thank them for her salvation -- not because they are there for her, but because she discovers how to be there for them. Literate and well written, 37 is a searingly intimate and compulsively readable novel, a very modern diary of a (not quite) mad housewife. Filled with acute, often bitingly funny observations about motherhood, friendship, and the claustrophobia of suburbia, this pitch-perfect novel will resonate with any woman who has ever been stricken with self-doubt. 37 is Maria Beaumont's third novel. After the mums from her kids' school have finished with her, it may be her last.
3650 Jokes, Puns, and Riddles
by Michael J. Pellowski Anne Kostick Charles FoxgroverThis classic collection of jokes, puns, and riddles features the outrageous and the inane, the silly and the side-splitting, and will have you, your family, and friends laughing, moaning, guffawing, and rolling in uncontrollable bursts of laughter. It's for everyone who, from time to time, needs a little laughter in their lives. And who doesn't? Between these covers are a staggering 3650 entries -- at a joke a day that's 10 full years of comedy! With chapters on everything from Modern Romance, the Working World and Aging to Pop Culture, Money, and much more, 3650 Jokes, Puns and Riddles contains the most ridiculous quip for every conceivable occasion. There are gibes, barbs, and insults, knock-knock jokes, and one-liners, doctor jokes and lawyer jokes, animal jokes and family jokes, and throughout a seemingly endless supply of bad puns. 3650 Jokes, Puns and Riddles will have you chuckling, chortling, giggling, grinning, and groaning in spite of yourself.
365 Days of Happiness (365 Days Of... Ser.)
by Lizzie CornwallHost an air guitar tournament for your friends and family. Cartwheel down the street. Tell nothing but the truth all day. Prepare for a grand adventure, instigate a little mischief and embrace a sunnier outlook with this book of feel-good quotations and quirky ideas that will keep you smiling all year.
365 Days of Happiness (365 Days Of... Ser.)
by Lizzie CornwallHost an air guitar tournament for your friends and family. Cartwheel down the street. Tell nothing but the truth all day. Prepare for a grand adventure, instigate a little mischief and embrace a sunnier outlook with this book of feel-good quotations and quirky ideas that will keep you smiling all year.
365 Days of Dad Jokes: Awfully Good Gags... All Year Round
by Jim ChumleyPerfect for dads and lovers of cheesy puns and one-liners, this pocket-sized collection offers a year's worth of mirth suitable for all agesThere's something very special about dad jokes - they're always enjoyably terrible, sometimes quite witty and occasionally downright hilarious. So if you're a dad looking to add to your collection of funnies, or you'd like to beat your old man at his own game, this is the book for you.Packed into these pages are pithy wisecracks, comically cringeworthy puns, silly one-liners and enough other types of joke to last an entire year. Among the hundreds of groan-worthy gags you'll find gems like: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles. Why are balloons so expensive? Inflation. What do you call an elephant who doesn't matter? Irrelephant. How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it. Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents. Unapologetically themselves, just like dads, these are jokes to inflict with glee on all the family.
365 Days of Dad Jokes: Awfully Good Gags . . . All Year Round
by Jim ChumleyA Simon & Schuster eBook. Simon & Schuster has a great book for every reader.
36 Questions That Changed My Mind About You
by Vicki GrantInspired by the real psychology study popularized by the New York Times and its "Modern Love" column, this contemporary YA is perfect for fans of Eleanor and Park. Two random strangers. Two secrets. Thirty-six questions to make them fall in love. Hildy and Paul each have their own reasons for joining the university psychology study that asks the simple question: Can love be engineered? The study consists of 36 questions, ranging from "What is your most terrible memory?" to "When did you last sing to yourself?" By the time Hildy and Paul have made it to the end of the questionnaire, they've laughed and cried and lied and thrown things and run away and come back and driven each other almost crazy. They've also each discovered the painful secret the other was trying so hard to hide. But have they fallen in love? Told in the language of modern romance--texting, Q&A, IM--and punctuated by Paul's sketches, this clever high-concept YA is full of humor and heart. As soon as you've finished reading, you'll be searching for your own stranger to ask the 36 questions. Maybe you'll even fall in love. Rights have sold in 19 territories!
32AA: A Novel
by Michelle CunnahMeet author Michelle Cunnah and the loveable characters she creates in this young, funny tale of husband-hunting, job-hunting, and—toughest of all—apartment-hunting in New York.A party, a promotion, and at the very least, a proposal. On her thirtieth birthday, Emma Taylor isn't asking for much. Instead, she gets passed over in every way: by her company, by her boyfriend, and even by her party-loving friends, whose idea of the perfect gift is a bottle of breast-enhancing pills.Now, kicked out of her boyfriend's apartment and stuck working for the weenie who beat her out for the job, Emma is miserable, homeless, and sleeping in the back of her car. But who knew what a great place the streets can be for meeting gorgeous men? Emma may not have much filling up her bikini top, but she does have the determination to get back on her feet, so she moves in with sexy Jack (strictly in a landlord/tenant capacity), sticks out her chin (and her chest) and gets tough at work. Maybe flat girls can have some fun . . .