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The 267 Stupidest Things Republicans Ever Said & The 267 Stupidest Things Democrats Ever Said
by Ted RueterA hilarious bipartisan collection of rants, malapropisms, doublespeak, and just plain idiocy from lifelong politicians and Washington wannabes. Whether it's a Republican mayor on crime -- "The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe (Frank Rizzo) -- or his Democratic counterpart on the same subject -- "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country" (Marion Barry) -- political discourse is often off-course, not to mention unintentionally hilarious. Wickedly funny when read from either direction, this book presents both Republican stupidity ("Approximately 80 percent of our air pollution stems from vegetation"-- Ronald Reagan) and matching head-slappers from Democrats ("For those who died [in the San Francisco earthquake], their lives will never be the same again" -- Barbara Boxer). The 267 Stupidest Things. . is the perfect antidote to election-year bombast.
25 Years of 22 Minutes: An Unauthorized Oral History of This Hour Has 22 Minutes, As Told by Cast Members, Staff, and Guests
by Angela Mombourquette&“A great read for anyone who is a fan of the long-running Canadian comedy series—or just TV comedy in general.&” —Brioux.tv The final chaotic season of Codco had just wrapped when Mary Walsh sat down at a Toronto bistro with George Anthony, then creative head of CBC TV&’s arts programming. She&’d been thinking about a news-based comedy show—did he think that would fly? He did. That was the early &‘90s. Twenty-five seasons later, hundreds of thousands of Canadians continue to tune in weekly to This Hour Has 22 Minutes for its unashamedly Canadian, biting satirical take on politics and power. 25 Years of 22 Minutes takes readers backstage to hear first-hand accounts of the show&’s key moments—in the words of the writers, producers and cast members who were there. Readers will have a front-row seat to the birth of the show—including a crisis that had producers scrambling in the very first episode—and offer an insider&’s take on the highs, the lows, and the daily grind behind the scenes at 22 Minutes. &“A book that stands as a shining testament to the many &‘behind-the scenes&’ figures who&’ve made the show tick for 25 years.&” —Halifax Examiner &“The book includes unvarnished accounts of cast rivalries, off-air pranks, fast food with prime ministers and satirical moments that influenced the real Canadian news cycle . . . an inside look at the people, characters and moments they&’ve come to know intimately through their screens.&” —Atlantic Books Today
236 Pounds of Class Vice President: A Memoir of Teenage Insecurity, Obesity, and Virginity
by Jason MulgrewJason Mulgrew, popular blogger and author of Everything Is Wrong with Me, continues his depreciating yet hilarious self-reflection with 236 Pounds of Class Vice President. Set in Mulgrew’s high school years, this genuine and honest memoir revisits his teenage antics and escapades as he, while navigating the indignity of puberty, attempts to run for vice president of the student body, displays a penchant for long fur capes, and (naturally) wonders about sex. Mulgrew’s blog, Everything Is Wrong with me, has received more than 200 million hits since its inception in 2004. Complete with awkward, “what was he thinking?” photos—unmitigated proof of Mulgrew’s ungainly adolescence—236 Pounds of Class Vice President is an no-holds-barred yet tender look at the years some of us would rather forget.
211 Things a Clever Girl Can Do
by Bunty CutlerAnything boys can do, girls can do better.The hysterical, cheeky, female counterpart to the smash hit 211 Things a Bright Boy Can Do.If you've ever wanted to walk on stilts, make sloe gin, ride an ostrich, or forecast the weather like your grandmother used to, this is the book you've been waiting for.This surprisingly handy and delightfully amusing guide includes instructions for:EVERYDAY SURVIVAL SKILLS:How to manage an umbrella in the wind, escape a swarm of vicious bees, spot a love rat, get out of a cab without exposing yourself, and make a little black dress out of a garbage bag.HANDY HOUSEHOLD ADVICE:Learn 17 uses for spare fishnet stockings, how to remove any stain, rescue a meal that's gone wrong, and enforce toilet seat procedure in a shared dwelling place.TOOLS FOR THE HOBBYIST IN THE KNOW:How to groom a horse, read tea leaves, force a cucumber, and bellydance.
211 Things a Bright Boy Can Do
by Tom CutlerIf you've reached adulthood without knowing how to spin a rope like a cowboy, cure a hangover, or make a citizen's arrest, this is the book you've been waiting for. Funny, far-ranging, and surprisingly handy, the book presents tutorials, including: How to Be a Real Man, Bracing Outdoor Activities, and Amusing Diversions.
211 Cosas que una chica lista debe saber
by Bunty CutlerEl manual imprescindible, con trucos de la escuela de la vida, para chicas y mujeres de espíritu joven. Consejos para el día a día:Cómo bailar con un hombre más bajo que túCómo bajarte del coche sin enseñar las bragasCómo cambiar una rueda sin romperte una sola uña Si has llegado a la edad adulta sin saber cómo se pierden tres kilos en seis horas, cómo puedes estrangular a un hombre con tus muslos o cómo prever a la manera de tu abuela el tiempo que va a hacer, este es tu libro. Sus lecciones fáciles de seguir y sus consejos impagables harán las delicias de todas las mujeres entre los 9 y los 99 años. Este libro no te subirá la moral, ni te hará oler mejor, pero te tendrá entretenida e informada. Si quieres presumir entre clase y clase, entre plato y plato, o entre copa y copa, con los mejores trucos que te puede enseñar la escuela de la vida, no dudes en hacerte con este ejemplar de 211 cosas que una chica lista debe saber.
211 cosas que un chico listo debe saber
by Tom CutlerEl manual imprescindible, con trucos de la escuela de la vida, para chicos y hombres de espíritu joven. Consejos para el día a día:Cómo pesar tu propia cabezaCómo saber cuándo atraes a una chicaCómo sobrevivir una semana entera con una sola muda Si has llegado a la edad adulta sin saber cómo se lanza una peonza, cómo se mete un barco en una botella, cómo se cura una resaca o cómo se arranca una confesión a un sospechoso, este es tu libro. Sus lecciones fáciles de seguir y sus consejos impagables harán las delicias de todos los hombres entre los 9 y los 99 años. Este libro no te subirá la moral, ni te hará oler mejor, pero te tendrá entretenido e informado. Si quieres presumir entre clase y clase, entre plato y plato, o entre copa y copa, con los mejores trucos que te puede enseñar la escuela de la vida, no dudes en hacerte con este ejemplar de 211 cosas que un chico listo debe saber.
2100 Laughs for All Occasions: Short, Sharp, Topical, and Funny--Arranged in Categories for Reading, Telling, Laughing
by Robert OrbenCompiled by a top comedy writer, a rib-tickling collection of sharp, topical one-liners on every subject under the sun, alphabetically arranged by category for easy use.From the Trade Paperback edition.
21 Truths About Love: from the bestselling author of Memoirs Of An Imaginary Friend
by Matthew Green'Honest, vulnerable, hilarious, and profoundly human' Taylor Jenkins Reid, New York Times bestselling author of Daisy Jones and the SixFrom the beloved author of Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend comes a wonderful new novel about a struggling man, written entirely in lists.Daniel Mayrock's life is at a crossroads:1. His bookshop is failing.2. He's sick of feeling useless.3. His wife, Jill, is ready to start a family.4. She has no idea about 1 and 2.Dan is scared.Then Jill gets pregnant.And now all Dan knows is:5. Dan loves Jill.Brimming with Dan's hilarious sense of humour and unique world-view, his obsessive list-making paints a picture of a man who's willing to do just about anything for the love (and soon-to-be new love) of his life...Praise for Matthew Green:'A novel as creative, brave, and pitch-perfect as its narrator . . . It has been a long time since I read a book that has captured me so completely, and has wowed me with its unique vision' Jodi Picoult on Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend'A fresh, humorous exploration of what makes us vulnerable and what makes us responsible, and you can't help but root for Daniel Mayrock even when he's at his most mistaken. This is a love story of great pathos and beauty' Sharma Shields, author of The Cassandra'What to know about this novel: 1) It's written entirely in lists. 2) It's about an anxious man struggling with family and financial issues. And 3) It's an unconventional, endearing tale of impending fatherhood' The Washington Post'Reasons we love 21 Truths About Love: 1. It's deeply moving and full of emotion. 2. The protagonist is relatable (he quit his job to open a bookshop!) And so are his struggles. 3. It's a thoughtful reflection about love and what it means to be a good person 4. Did we mention the protagonist owns a bookshop? 5. It's one of the most unique books out today, because: 6. It's written entirely in lists' BookBub
21 Dog Years
by Mike DaiseyBoy meets dot-com, boy falls for dot-com, boy flees dot-com in horror. So goes one of the most perversely hilarious love stories you will ever read, one that blends tech culture, hero worship, cat litter, Albanian economics, venture capitalism, and free bagels into a surreal cocktail of delusion. In 1998, when Amazon. com went to temp agencies to recruit people, they gave them a simple directive: send us your freaks. Mike Daisey -- slacker, onetime aesthetics major, dilettante -- seemed perfect for the job. His ascension from lowly temp to customer service representative to business development hustler over the course of twenty-one dog years is the stuff of both dreams and nightmares. With lunatic precision, Daisey describes the lightless cube farms in which book orders were scrawled on Post-its while technicians struggled to bring computers back online; the fourteen-hour days fueled by caffeine, fanaticism, and illicit day-trading from office desks made from doors; his strange compulsion to send free books to Norwegians; and the fevered insistence of BizDev higher-ups that the perfect business partner was Pets. com -- the now-extinct company that spent all its assets on a sock puppet. In these pages, you'll meet Warren, the cowboy of customer service, capable of verbally hog-tying even the most abusive customer; Amazon employee #5, a reclusive computer gamer worth a cool $300 million, who spends at least six hours a day locked in his office killing goblins; and Jean-Michele, Mike's girlfriend and sparring partner, who tries to keep him grounded, even as dot-com mania seduces them both. At strategic intervals, the narrative is punctuated by hysterically honest letters to CEO Jeff Bezos -- missives that seem ripped from the collective unconscious of dot-com disciples the world over. 21 Dog Yearsis an epic story of greed, self-deception, and heartbreak, a wickedly funny anthem to an era of bounteous stock options and boundless insanity.
2030: The Real Story of What Happens to America
by Albert BrooksJune 12, 2030 started out like any other day in memory -- and by then, memories were long. Since cancer had been cured fifteen years before, America's population was aging rapidly. That sounds like good news, but consider this: millions of baby boomers, with a big natural predator picked off, were sucking dry benefits and resources that were never meant to hold them into their eighties and beyond. Young people around the country simmered with resentment toward "the olds" and anger at the treadmill they could never get off of just to maintain their parents' entitlement programs. But on that June 12th, everything changed: a massive earthquake devastated Los Angeles, and the government, always teetering on the edge of bankruptcy, was unable to respond. The fallout from the earthquake sets in motion a sweeping novel of ideas that pits national hope for the future against assurances from the past and is peopled by a memorable cast of refugees and billionaires, presidents and revolutionaries, all struggling to find their way. In 2030, the author's all-too-believable imagining of where today's challenges could lead us tomorrow makes gripping and thought-provoking reading.
2030
by Dani Gove2030 es un cóctel apocalíptico que repasa, desde el humor y la sátira, nuestra evolución como especie en un futuro próximo. En 2030... ¿Podremos clonarnos para echar las horas extras del curro? ¿Mantendremos relaciones sexuales con robots aspiradores? ¿Lograremos detener el avance del cambio climático? ¿Habrán dejado por fin de hacer pelis de superhéroes? ¿Dónde están esos malditos coches voladores?
The 2020 Commission Report on the North Korean Nuclear Attacks Against the United States: A Speculative Novel
by Jeffrey LewisThis &“brilliantly conceived&” novel imagines a devastating nuclear attack on America and the official government report of the calamity (Eric Schlosser, author of Fast Food Nation and Command and Control). &“The skies over the Korean Peninsula on March 21, 2020, were clear and blue.&” So begins this sobering report by the Commission on the Nuclear Attacks against the United States, established by Congress and President Donald J. Trump to investigate the horrific events of the following three days. An independent, bipartisan panel led by nuclear expert Jeffrey Lewis, the commission was charged with finding and reporting the relevant facts, investigating how the nuclear war began, and determining whether our government was adequately prepared. Did President Trump and his advisers understand North Korean views about nuclear weapons? Did the tragic milestones of that fateful month—North Korea's accidental shoot-down of Air Busan flight 411, the retaliatory strike by South Korea, and the tweet that triggered vastly more carnage—inevitably lead to war? Or did America&’s leaders have the opportunity to avert the greatest calamity in the history of our nation? Answering these questions will not bring back the lives lost in March, 2020. It will not rebuild New York, Washington, or the other cities reduced to rubble. But at the very least, it might prevent a tragedy of this magnitude from occurring again. It is this hope that inspired The 2020 Commission Report. &“I couldn&’t put the book down, reading most of it in the course of one increasingly intense evening. If fear of nuclear war is going to keep you up at night, at least it can be a page-turner.&”—New Scientist
2018 Valentine's Day Special (The Backstagers #1)
by James Tynion Iv Rian Sygh Walter Baiamonte Caitlin Rose Boyle Katy Farina Brittney Williams Rebecca NaltyIt’s Valentine’s Day at St. Genesius Prep and the Backstagers are back in (stage) blacks for some ROMANTIC adventures in the mysterious world behind the scenes! Featuring bonus tales from a variety of special guests, including Brittney Williams, Caitlin Rose Boyle, and Katy Farina! It’s the “seasons of love” for your favorite backstage boys! (No, you can’t wear pink backstage. Or red. Or glitter. Or cherub wings, Sasha.)
2013 Daily Calendar: F in Exams
by Richard BensonBased on the best seller F in Exams comes a full year of fails, featuring hundreds of brilliantly wrong but incredibly hilarious student test answers, including all-new answers, things you should have learned in high school (but didn't), a gallery of famous failures, and more.
2013 Daily Calendar: VICE Dos & Don'ts
by Vice MagazineFrom VICE magazine--a.k.a. the "hipster bible"--this ebook includes photos from the uber popular DOs & DON'Ts street fashion feature in which candid photos of strangers are accompanied by over-the-top critiques either praising (a "Do") or ridiculing (a "Don't"). Featuring the best Dos and the worst Don'ts, this ebook provides a hearty dose of the most amazing--and appalling--street fashion finds.
2013 Daily Calendar: Worst-Case Scenario
by Joshua Piven David BorgenichtBe prepared for the worst with expert advice and survival trivia all year long.
2012: Everything You Need To Know About The Apocalypse
by Manda ScottA pocket compilation of the Mayan legends of 2012, featuring everything you need to know about the Apocalypse in easy to digest facts. The first thing you need to know about 2012 is that it's just like any other year.And the second thing you need to know... is that it really isn't...The Maya didn't make it their 'end date' for nothing...2012 collects everything you need to know about how, why and what is going to happen in this apocalyptic year, as outlined in the ancient Mayan prophesies in a humourous and insightful way, the facts, the fantasties and the frankly extraordinary.
2011 Daily Calendar: Worst-Case Scenario
by Joshua Piven David BorgenichtBe prepared for the worst with expert advise and survival trivia all year long.
2007-Eleven
by Hart Seely Frank CammusoFrom the pages of The New Yorker, The New York Times, and Slate stagger Frank Cammuso and Hart Seely, restoring a cheerful sanity to our deranged lives and times.Every now and then, funny writing somehow manages to retain full possession of literary quality. Please see Twain, Heller, Benchley, Parker, Frazier, Geng. And now please see Cammuso and Seely. If you're not some famous person in our hyped, commodified, three-screen (movie, TV, computer), celeb-ridden society, count your blessings. Because if you are, Cammuso and Seely will probably get you sooner or later. They got Martha Stewart--they have her planning gracious plans for her version of the Son of God's final repast: "Jesus has indicated--against my better wishes--that He intends to gird Himself with a towel and wash everybody's feet. So be it. But beforehand, I'll run his terry cloth for five minutes in the dryer, making it toasty and soft." They (fondly) postu-late how Phil Rizzuto might have written a characteristically fractionated version of "Casey at the Bat": "'Fraud!' cried the maddened thousands, and the echo murmured 'Fraud.' / Hey, Murcer! Look! Bea Arthur! Didn't she play Maude?" The Flintstones become the Clintstones, Quentin Tarantino directs The Three Little Pigs, and Dr. Seuss collaborates poetically with Rod Serling.Even when the targets of these pieces are of the moment, Cammuso and Seely's humor will endure. What's more evanescent than pop-music stardom? Sex, maybe, but not much else. But who won't laugh, even years from now, as Cammuso and Seely--in "Six Degrees of Chuck Berry"--introduce some of the record industry's often interchangeable personages to each other: "Tanya, Enya. Enya, Shania. Shania, Mariah. Mariah, Wynonna. Wynonna, Fiona . . . " Nobody.From the Hardcover edition.
2002 Things To Do On A Date
by Dale Edwards Cyndi HaynesYou've visited every restaurant in town--and you're tired of going to the movies. What are you supposed to do when you go out on a date these days? Well, how about hosting a co-ed volleyball party? Getting to know each other better by playing Twenty Questions? Catching some local scenery by renting a moped for the day? Sharing the cooking for a luxurious gourmet meal? Or test-driving a luxury car you know full well neither of you can afford? From the purely romantic to the unusual and exotic, these adventurous suggestions will add up to plenty of fun for people who want to try something new.
2002 Things To Do On A Date: From Fun, Sometimes Silly, Romantic, to the Unique
by Cyndi HaynesA Simon & Schuster eBook. Simon & Schuster has a great book for every reader.
2002 Things to do on a Date
by Cyndi Haynes Dale EdwardsBored with the usual dinner/movie date routine? Has the miniature golf course lost its charm? Why not take a CPR class, rent a moped, or test-drive a luxury sports car neither of you can afford? Just a sampling of the 2002 fun, silly, romantic ideas to be found in this unique guide.
The 2000s Made Me Gay: Essays on Pop Culture
by Grace PerryFrom The Onion and Reductress contributor, this collection of essays is a hilarious nostalgic trip through beloved 2000s media, interweaving cultural criticism and personal narrative to examine how a very straight decade forged a very queer woman"Honest, funny, smart, and illuminating.” —Anna Drezen, co-head writer of SNL"If you came of age at the intersection of Mean Girls and The L Word: Read this book.” —Sarah Pappalardo, editor in chief and co-founder of Reductress Today’s gay youth have dozens of queer peer heroes, both fictional and real, but former gay teenager Grace Perry did not have that luxury. Instead, she had to search for queerness in the (largely straight) teen cultural phenomena the aughts had to offer: in Lindsay Lohan’s fall from grace, Gossip Girl, Katy Perry’s “I Kissed A Girl,” country-era Taylor Swift, and Seth Cohen jumping on a coffee cart. And, for better or worse, these touch points shaped her adult identity. She came out on the other side like many millennials did: in her words, gay as hell.Throw on your Von Dutch hats and join Grace on a journey back through the pop culture moments of the aughts, before the cataclysmic shift in LGBTQ representation and acceptance—a time not so long ago, which many seem to forget.