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A Poor Excuse for a Dragon (Step into Reading)
by Geoffrey Hayes"Punchy dialogue and compact sentences should make this a read-aloud delight."--Publishers Weekly"Part-slapstick, part-fairy tale, the gently humorous plot has enough twists and turns to keep newly independent readers engaged."--School Library JournalFred the dragon has a list of tasks he must complete in order to be a successful dragon--none of which comes naturally. But he's determined to make #5--eat people--work. Before you can say "pass the salt" he's gobbled up three people even though he doesn't have the stomach for it. Luckily a local shepherd, with the help of a giant and a witch, knows how to cure what ails him and get those pesky people out of his belly. It's happily-ever-after for everyone in ways you'd never expect.Geisel award-winning author/illustrator Geoffrey Hayes is a stepped reader maestro. The common threads between his wildly popular Uncle Tooth and Otto SIRs and the more recent Benny and Penny series (Toon Books) are clear and constant. The art is adorable, the characters are bursting with personality, and the stories are humorously subversive. From marauding pirates to misbehaving mice to a dragon who swallows people whole (and then continues to communicate with them in his belly!), Geoffrey always hits that sweet spot for the stepped reader audience--easy to decode, illustrative tales that tickle the funnybone.From the Trade Paperback edition.
A Porcupine Named Fluffy
by Helen LesterA porcupine named Fluffy is happier with his name after he meets a similarly misnamed rhinoceros.
A Porcupine Named Fluffy (Read-aloud)
by Helen Lester Lynn MunsingerThe humor is just absurd enough to make the picture-book set howl along with Hippo and Fluffy." -New York Times Book Review Fluffy the porcupine is unhappy with his name: "So he decided to become fluffier." He climbs a tree and pretends to be a cloud! He even poses as a pillow. (His mother is not pleased when she sits on him.) When Fluffy meets a rhinoceros named Hippo, it puts his plight in perspective...and he makes a friend. This terrific tribute to self-acceptance--complete with the cutest porcupine pictures on the planet--is now part of a fun, hardcover series about life lessons. This ebook includes audio narration as well as a code for free downloadable audio.
A Practical Guide to Racism
by C. H. DaltonA look at the races of the world by a lovable bigot, capturing the proud history and bright future of racism in one handy, authoritative, and deeply offensive volume Meet ?C. H. Dalton,? a professor of racialist studies and an expert on inferior people of all ethnicities, genders, religions, and sexual preferences. Presenting evidence that everyone should be hated, A Practical Guide to Racism contains sparkling bits of wisdom on such subjects as: · The good life enjoyed by blacks, who shuffle through life unhindered by the white man?s burdens, to become accomplished athletes, rhyme smiths, and dominoes champions · The sad story of the industrious, intelligent Jews, whose entire reputation is sullied by their taste for the blood of Christian babies · A close look at the bizarre, sweet-smelling race known as ?women,? who are not very good at anything?especially ruling the free world · A crucial manual to Arabs, a people so sensitive they are liable to blow up at any time. Literally. Including a comprehensive glossary of timeless epithets, with hundreds of pejorative words for everyone from Phoenicians to Jews, A Practical Guide to Racism is an essential field guide for our multicultural world. .
A Practical Guide to Racism
by C. H. DaltonMeet C. H. Dalton, a professor of racialist studies and an expert on inferior people of all ethnicities, genders, religions, and sexual preferences. Presenting evidence that everyone should be hated, A Practical Guide to Racism contains sparkling bits of wisdom on such subjects as: · The good life enjoyed by blacks, who shuffle through life unhindered by the white man's burdens, to become accomplished athletes, rhyme smiths, and dominoes champions · The sad story of the industrious, intelligent Jews, whose entire reputation is sullied by their taste for the blood of Christian babies · A close look at the bizarre, sweet-smelling race known as women, who are not very good at anything - especially ruling the free world · A crucial manual to Arabs, a people so sensitive they are liable to blow up at any time. Literally.e glossary of timeless epithets, with hundreds of pejorative words for everyone from Phoenicians to Jews, A Practical Guide to Racism is an essential field guide for our multicultural world.
A Prairie Dog's Love Song (Dreamspinner Press Advent Calendar - Mended Ser.)
by Eli EastonBen Rivers always was a showman. He won awards in 4-H and rodeo competitions from the time he could walk, and he's happiest in the spotlight. So when he got the chance to be a star--in porn--he took it. He still loves Montana and everything about being a cowboy, but when news of his alternate identity leaks out, he figures he's lost the town's goodwill forever. Clyde's Corner would never accept an openly gay cowboy, even a hometown boy born and bred. Joshua Braintree always had the notion that he and his best friend's kid brother, Ben, would end up together. Ben's always been a diehard cowboy, just like him: they need the land and its freedom as much as they need air. So when Joshua learns Ben moved away from their small Montana town to be a porn star in Vegas, he can hardly believe it. He's determined to finally declare himself and bring Ben home. Despite his longtime crush on Joshua, Ben won't be as easy to tame as Joshua's "lost cause" horses. It will take a lot of heart and holiday spirit for Joshua to convince Ben that even old prairie dogs can learn new tricks in the name of love.A story from the Dreamspinner Press 2013 Advent Calendar package "Heartwarming".
A Predator's Rights: A Beastly Crimes Book (#2)
by Anna Starobinets Marie MuravskiFlush with success from having solved the case of the murdered Rabbit, crotchety detective Chief Badger and his impetuous young assistant, Badgercat, anticipate the return of peace and quiet to their community. But trouble recurs with a visit from Huntington Farm's bloodthirsty security team, who bring accusations of theft and harsh demands for justice. Guard dog Muxtar and hunting hound Polkan are searching for Chicken Four, a plucky little fowl who's just discovered what happens to her sister chickens when they disappear into Nina Palna's kitchen on Fridays. Now Badger and Badgercat have to persuade Palna to stop making chicken soup and to prevent Muxtar and Polkan from taking matters into their own paws (and jaws). Filled with quirky illustrations and newly translated from the original Russian, this is the second of the Beastly Crimes Books to come from this imaginative mystery series geared toward middle-grade readers. It's the perfect read for young detectives ... and all who oppose fowl play.
A Prefect's Uncle
by P. G. WodehouseThe novel takes place at the fictional "Beckford College," a private school for boys. The action begins with the arrival at the school of a mischievous young boy called Farnie, who turns out to be the uncle of the older "Bishop" Gethryn, a prefect, cricketer, and popular figure in the school. His arrival, along with that of another youngster who becomes a servant to Gethryn, leads to much excitement and scandal in the school, and the disruption of some important cricket matches.
A Pregnant Courtesan for the Rake: Regency Christmas Wishes A Pregnant Courtesan For The Rake Lord Hunter's Cinderella Heiress (The Society of Wicked Gentlemen #3)
by Diane GastonClaiming the courtesan’s child…It’s been more than three months, but Oliver Gregory still remembers the exquisite night he shared with a beautiful woman in Paris. Discovering her working at the discreet London gentlemen’s club he owns comes as a shock…even more so when he realizes she’s pregnant!Oliver knows the pain of being an outcast and will do all in his power to ensure his child is not born illegitimate. Cecilia will return to his bed…as his wife!
A Pregnant Proposal (Having the Boss's Baby)
by Elizabeth HarbisonTo: Lauren, Maggie, Julia, SharonFrom: JenDate: 11/01RE: Due date-1 month!You've got to help me! Since my fiance died, his ruthless father wants custody of my baby. It's true he's wealthy, but he won't love my son as I do. So I need to stop him. What if I say someone else is the father? I've been thinking about my boss, Matt Holder. I wonder what he'd do if I said he was my baby's father-and my fiance? He's passing by the office now-and he smiled at me!Gotta go!
A Price Worth Paying?
by Trish MoreyWhen two bitter rivals...Why, why does her grandfather's dying wish dictate that Simone Hamilton must marry a man she hates? The marriage might unite their warring families, but formidable Spaniard Alesander Esquivel is the last man on earth Simone would want to be in the same room as-let alone share a marital bed with!Are forced to take one solemn vow...Alesander's strongest desire used to be gaining the final piece of his business empire-but now it seems there are more pleasurable diversions for the taking... Having a wife could be useful, especially to entertain him during those sultry hot Spanish nights!
A Prince of a Guy: Romantic Comedy (Korbel Classic Romance Humorous Series #3)
by Kathleen Korbel Eileen Dreyer"You don't want to miss this delight." ~RT BookclubWhen New Yorker Casey Phillips visits the tiny country of Moritania, she simply wants to see where her ancestors came from. Instead, she's mistaken for a princess.The real princess has been kidnapped, and Crown Prince Eric von Lieberhaven insists Casey—a dead ringer for the missing royal—step into the princess's shoes until she can be freed.As Casey upends royal tradition, Eric finds himself hoping the cheeky American never returns home. But can a secretary from Brooklyn really find happiness with a prince?"Not your average Cinderella story. ~RendezvousPublisher's Note: Dive in and enjoy these classic romances from Eileen Dreyer. Amusing, sweet and oh-so romantic in the best way, these timeless tales will leave you feeling good all-over. Fans of humorous contemporary romance by authors such as Sally Thorne, Lauren Blakely, Addison Cole as well as Molly Harper, Sarah Maclean and Emma Chase will not want to miss this enduring and sweet romantic series.KORBEL CLASSICS: HUMOROUS SERIES, in orderThe Ice Cream ManIsn't It Romantic?A Prince of a GuyPrincess and the PeaA Fine MadnessALSO by Eileen Dreyer:Nothing PersonalBrain DeadBad MedicineIf Looks Could Kill
A Prince on Paper: Reluctant Royals
by Alyssa ColeThe Reluctant Royals series returns with a good girl searching for the life that’s not too big, and not too small, and the bad boy prince who might be just right for her… <P><P>Nya Jerami fled Thesolo for the glitz and glamour of NYC but discovered that her Prince Charming only exists in her virtual dating games. When Nya returns home for a royal wedding, she accidentally finds herself up close and personal—in bed—with the real-life celebrity prince who she loves to hate. <P><P>For Johan von Braustein, the red-headed step-prince of Liechtienbourg, acting as paparazzi bait is a ruse that protects his brother—the heir to the throne—and his own heart. When a royal referendum threatens his brother’s future, a fake engagement is the perfect way to keep the cameras on him. <P><P>Nya and Johan both have good reasons to avoid love, but as desires are laid bare behind palace doors, they must decide if their fake romance will lead to a happily-ever-after.
A Princess for Christmas: A Novel
by Jenny Holiday"A perfect combination of sweet and sexy moments makes A Princess for Christmas an unputdownable read!"--Mia Sosa, USA Today bestselling authorFrom USA Today bestselling author Jenny Holiday comes a modern fairy tale just in time for Christmas about a tough New Yorker from the other side of the tracks who falls for a princess from the other side of the world.Leo Ricci's already handling all he can, between taking care of his little sister Gabby, driving a cab, and being the super of his apartment building in the Bronx. But when Gabby spots a "princess" in a gown outside of the UN trying to hail a cab, she begs her brother to stop and help. Before he knows it, he's got a real-life damsel in distress in the backseat of his car. Princess Marie of Eldovia shouldn't be hailing a cab, or even be out and about. But after her mother’s death, her father has plunged into a devastating depression and the fate of her small Alpine country has fallen on Marie’s shoulders. She’s taken aback by the gruff but devastatingly handsome driver who shows her more kindness than she’s seen in a long time. When Marie asks Leo to be her driver for the rest of her trip, he agrees, thinking he’ll squire a rich miss around for a while and make more money than he has in months. He doesn’t expect to like and start longing for the unpredictable Marie. And when he and Gabby end up in Eldovia for Christmas, he discovers the princess who is all wrong for him is also the woman who is his perfect match.
A Princess in Theory: Reluctant Royals
by Alyssa ColeFrom acclaimed author Alyssa Cole comes the tale of a city Cinderella and her Prince Charming in disguise . . .Between grad school and multiple jobs, Naledi Smith doesn’t have time for fairy tales…or patience for the constant e-mails claiming she’s betrothed to an African prince. Sure. Right. Delete! As a former foster kid, she’s learned that the only things she can depend on are herself and the scientific method, and a silly e-mail won’t convince her otherwise. <p><p> Prince Thabiso is the sole heir to the throne of Thesolo, shouldering the hopes of his parents and his people. At the top of their list? His marriage. Ever dutiful, he tracks down his missing betrothed. When Naledi mistakes the prince for a pauper, Thabiso can’t resist the chance to experience life—and love—without the burden of his crown.The chemistry between them is instant and irresistible, and flirty friendship quickly evolves into passionate nights. But when the truth is revealed, can a princess in theory become a princess ever after?
A Princess in Waiting (Royally Wed: The Missing Heir)
by Carol GraceFROM THE DESK OF LUC DUMONT,HEAD OF SECURITYST. MICHEL MAY 2002 DAY47I am this close to discovering the identity of the missing heir to the St. Michel throne! In the meantime, I've noticed the growing affection between the oldest de Bergeron daughter, Lise, and her ex-husband's brother, the dashing Charles Rodin. Word has it that Charles is trying to right his evil sibling's wrong by marrying the pregnant beauty...but this is no ordinary marriage of convenience, as Charles has had unrequited feelings for Lise since the day she joined his blue-blooded family. Question is, once he's proven his devotion to her baby, will she then be willing to give him her heart?
A Private Place
by Amanda CraigKnotshead is a school catering for the children of the rich, famous, liberal - and deluded. With its progressive curriculum, complacent staff and beautiful grounds, it looks like Paradise. But the clever, the odd and the bookish are relentlessly persecuted as pupils make their own rules in a bubble of privilege and prejudice. When Alice, the Headmaster's intellectual step-daughter, and the much-expelled American millionaire Winthrop T Sheen join forces against the school bully, Grub Viner, a gifted pianist and school "joker", has to choose between love and loyalty, and black comedy escalates to murder.
A Private Place
by Amanda CraigKnotshead is a school catering for the children of the rich, famous, liberal - and deluded. With its progressive curriculum, complacent staff and beautiful grounds, it looks like Paradise. But the clever, the odd and the bookish are relentlessly persecuted as pupils make their own rules in a bubble of privilege and prejudice. When Alice, the Headmaster's intellectual step-daughter, and the much-expelled American millionaire Winthrop T Sheen join forces against the school bully, Grub Viner, a gifted pianist and school "joker", has to choose between love and loyalty, and black comedy escalates to murder.
A Product of Genetics (and Day Drinking): A Never-Coming-of-Age Story
by Jess H. Gutierrez&“Jess Gutierrez has a one-of-a-kind talent for showing how hilarious and absurd life can be—and, lucky reader, she is ready to share her escapades with the rest of us. I couldn&’t put this book down.&” —W. Kamau Bell, comedian and author of The Awkward Thoughts of W. Kamau Bell &“Like Gutierrez, I&’m a millennial making things up as I go along, and as this book hilariously shows, our way is much more fun.&” —Sona Movsesian, New York Times bestselling author of The World&’s Worst AssistantA frank, raucous, and bawdy collection of essays about coming of age through the oddest jobs, misadventures in queer love, and endearing parenting fails This is a perfect book for a very imperfect generation. Millennials were the kids who wore slap bracelets and jeans so low rise they could see one another's colons, and they are now adults wondering, Is everyone else as messed up as I am? In her book, Jess shares relatable tales of a woman who feels like a dumpster fire even with a seemingly ideal set up with a fire-captain wife, three kids, and a mortgage. Highlights include roller-derby catastrophes, a disastrous first night on the job at a lesbian bar, narrow escapes from wild animals, and fond memories of sending printed thirst-trap photos via mail to the lover in Australia she met on the early Internet. Readers will soon cheerfully discover that Jess&’s voice is infectious, her stories are off-the-wall, and her references are deeply and delightfully millennial.
A Professional Engagement (The Wedding Planners)
by Darcy MaguireMarriage neither of them expected!Tara Andrews loves working with her mom and sister, planning weddings and proposals-for other people. But she has no intention of ever getting married herself! Until she meets sexy Sydney millionaire Patrick Keene. It's clear he's the one man who could-possibly-change her mind. If only he wasn't the one man she can never have....Australian author Darcy Maguire flies you across the globe to the glamorous, cosmopolitan city of Sydney and into sassy Tara Andrews's life. It's true that all her clients are happily engaged to be married-but for once a professional engagement leads her straight to Mr. Right....
A Profiler's Case for Seduction (Vengeance in Texas #4)
by Carla Cassidy"You need to trust me."Dora Martin had escaped her past, been given a second chance. She wasn't going to waste it. A good education, a job she loved-all she had to do was stay on the straight and narrow. That meant no more disastrous relationships. No more men, period. Not even the oh-so-appealing Mark Flynn.FBI Agent Mark Flynn is in Vengeance, Texas, to help solve three brutal murders. Dora Martin was a source of information, that's all. Instead, he couldn't stop thinking about her. But the gentle, gray-eyed beauty is hiding a secret that might solve the murders-or get her killed. He won't let that happen. For his case-and his heart-he will protect her....
A Promise for the Baby
by Jennifer LohmannHe always does the right thing There's one exception to Karl Milek's rule-the Vegas weekend that leaves him with a night to remember, and a beautiful new wife he'd rather forget. Those divorce papers are put on hold, however, when Vivian shows up on his doorstep pregnant. Karl offers her shelter and everything else she needs until their baby is born. Yet soon he realizes that he could definitely get used to seeing Vivian in the mornings, sharing dinner with her at night...and inhaling her jasmine scent. But he doesn't think he can risk giving his wife the one thing she wants most-his love.
A Promise of Ankles: 44 Scotland Street (14) (44 Scotland Street Ser. #14)
by Alexander McCall SmithThe latest, delectably witty installment of Alexander McCall Smith's sumptuous 44 Scotland Street series.For the residents of 44 Scotland Street, life in Edinburgh's intriguing New Town is a thing to be relished. After all, there are new faces to excite Domenica's anthropological imagination, precious moments with his triplets for Matthew to savor, and the prospect of a trip to the promised land of Glasgow for young Bertie. But there are mysteries that need solving too. Could Angus Lordie's dog, Cyril--the only dog in Scotland with a gold tooth--have unearthed a Neanderthal skull? Does the long-suffering Stuart have any hope of kindling a new relationship when Bruce, ever the navel gazer and consummate seducer, effortlessly steps into his pas de deux? And how will the patrons of Big Lou's cafe react to the menu's imminent culinary transformation? The stories of this wonderfully vibrant cast may take unexpected turns, but the warmth and humor at Scotland's most recognizable address will ultimately affirm the joy life brings us all.
A Promise of Ankles: A 44 Scotland Street Novel (#14) (44 Scotland Street Series #14)
by Alexander McCall SmithFrom the hugely popular 44 Scotland Street series comes the latest adventures of Bertie and his family and friends.The winds of change are blowing through Scotland Street. Though Bertie is getting older, he can't resist an adventure to escape his domineering mother, and Bruce, ever the navel-gazer, will have to bring his best self to navigate the complexities of the pas de deux. While Alexander McCall Smith's delightfully warm and witty comedy takes some surprising turns, the improbable adventures of this quirky cast of Scots will affirm the heart and joy in Edinburgh's New Town.
A Proper Family Christmas: the perfect festive stocking filler
by Chrissie ManbyAnnabel Buchanan has the perfect life. A loving husband, a beautiful house, a happy family.So, when her daughter Izzy falls dangerously ill, Annabel will do everything she can to find the organ donor Izzy so desperately needs. And that includes tracing her own biological family. The Bensons.The Benson family are loud, brash, and very different to what Annabel was expecting. But beneath the chaos and the drama, are they a warm and loving family at heart?With the festive season fast approaching, it's time to see if the Bensons and Buchanans can come together to help Izzy and find a way to have a proper family Christmas. . .Told with Chrissie Manby's classic combination of wit and charm, this feel-good family novel is the perfect book to curl up with during the winter holidays. Because you can't choose your family but you can choose to avoid them.Praise for Chrissie Manby:'Nothing short of brilliant' - Marie Claire 'Manby's novels are made for holidays' - Glamour 'Deliciously funny' - HeatTHREE DAYS IN FLORENCE, the latest novel from Chrissie Manby, is available now!