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Every Rose Has Its Thorn
by Erin BradleyIs there a reason some girls grew up worshipping The Cure while others were hot for Mötley Crüe? Could your love of the Beastie Boys have anything to do with your current beau's commitment issues? Have you ever wished for the kind of timeless romantic wisdom that can only come from years spent listening to David Bowie in your bedroom? Wonder no more! EVERY ROSE HAS ITS THORN: A ROCK N ROLL FIELD GUIDE TO GUYS is here to help (and/or moderately entertain) you. Packed with quizzes, true life tales, lots of words, and illustrations in glorious black and white, this book will help you better identify and understand the rockstars and wanna- be's you'll meet on romance's bumpy tour. What kind of guy . . . Owns a gorilla suit, but not an interview suit? Uses a broomstick as a curtain rod and a T-shirt as a pillowcase yet spends entire paychecks optimizing the gaming capabilities of his computer? Wants sex but not as much as he wants to watch Adult Swim? See Chapter 4. What kind of guy . . . Considers a car, a job, and a place to live "nice to have" but mostly optional? Has a life story that reads like a reverse Horatio Alger novel? Is self-proclaimed "lazy" about: brushing his teeth, returning monies borrowed, dressing open wounds? See Chapter 1. What kind of guy . . . Can school you on complicated investment strategies but keeps sending you viruses on Facebook? Arrives at your 40's Party in period clothes with a martini shaker, instead of in an Adidas sweatsuit with a case of malt liquor? Has lots of baggage but really nice luggage? See Chapter 9. .
Every Seventh Wave
by Daniel GlattauerHave you ever just clicked with someone? - the sequel to the international bestseller Love Virtually about a relationship conducted by email.Love Virtually ends as Leo leaves Austria for America. He and Emmi have still not met, but the intensity of their e-mail correspondence has been threatening Emmi's marriage. Leo returns from Boston and gradually resumes his e-mail contact with Emmi. But he has plans to settle down with Pamela, the woman he met in America. In an attempt to draw a line under their relationship, Emmi and Leo at last agree to meet in person.Translated from the German by Jamie Bulloch and Katharina Bielenberg
Every Seventh Wave
by Daniel GlattauerHave you ever just clicked with someone? - the sequel to the international bestseller Love Virtually about a relationship conducted by email.Love Virtually ends as Leo leaves Austria for America. He and Emmi have still not met, but the intensity of their e-mail correspondence has been threatening Emmi's marriage. Leo returns from Boston and gradually resumes his e-mail contact with Emmi. But he has plans to settle down with Pamela, the woman he met in America. In an attempt to draw a line under their relationship, Emmi and Leo at last agree to meet in person.Translated from the German by Jamie Bulloch and Katharina Bielenberg
Every Thing On It
by Shel SilversteinNOW AVAILABLE AS AN EBOOK!From New York Times bestselling Shel Silverstein, celebrated creator of Where the Sidewalk Ends, A Light in the Attic, and Falling Up, comes an amazing collection of poems and drawings, in ebook for the very first time!Have you ever read a book with everything on it? Well, here it is! You will say Hi-ho for the toilet troll, get tongue-tied with Stick-a-Tongue-Out-Sid, play a highly unusual horn, and experience the joys of growing down.What's that? You have a case of the Lovetobutcants? Impossible! Just come on in and let the magic of Shel Silverstein bend your brain and open your heart.And don't miss these other Shel Silverstein ebooks: The Giving Tree, Where the Sidewalk Ends, Falling Up, and A Light in the Attic!
Every Thing on It
by Shel SilversteinHave you ever read a book with everything on it? Well, here it is, an amazing collection of never-before-published poems and drawings from the creator of Where the Sidewalk Ends, A Light in the Attic, and Falling Up. You will say Hi-ho for the toilet troll, get tongue-tied with Stick-a-Tongue-Out-Sid, play a highly unusual horn, and experience the joys of growing down. What's that? You have a case of the Lovetobutcants? Impossible! Just come on in and let the magic of Shel Silverstein bend your brain and open your heart.
Every Time I Find the Meaning of Life, They Change It
by Daniel KleinA humorous and philosophical trip through life, from the New York Times-bestselling coauthor of Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar . . . Daniel Klein's fans have fallen in love with the warm, humorous, and thoughtful way he shows how philosophy resonates in everyday life. Readers of his popular books Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar . . . and Travels with Epicurus come for enlightenment and stay for the entertainment.As a young college student studying philosophy, Klein filled a notebook with short quotes from the world's greatest thinkers, hoping to find some guidance on how to live the best life he could. Now, from the vantage point of his eighth decade, Klein revisits the wisdom he relished in his youth with this collection of philosophical gems, adding new ones that strike a chord with him at the end of his life. From Epicurus to Emerson and Camus to the theologian Reinhold Niebuhr--whose words provided the title of this book--each pithy extract is annotated with Klein's inimitable charm and insights. In these pages, our favorite jokester-philosopher tackles life's biggest questions, leaving us chuckling and enlightened.
Every Time I Go on Vacation, Someone Dies: A Novel (The Vacation Mysteries #1)
by Catherine MackA USA Today Bestseller#1 Toronto Star Bestseller in Canadian FictionA Globe and Mail Bestseller in Canadian FictionA Vancouver Sun Bestseller in New ReleasesAn Indie Next List Pick (May 2024)An Amazon Editors’ Pick for Best Mystery, Thriller & Suspense (May 2024)Library Journal’s Mystery Pick of the Month (April 2024)Ten days, eight suspects, six cities, five authors, three bodies . . . one trip to die for."Quick, captivating, and oh-so-much-fun! This delicious mystery is as spellbinding as Knives Out."—Elle Cosimano, New York Times bestselling author of the Finlay Donovan seriesAll that bestselling author Eleanor Dash wants is to get through her book tour in Italy and kill off her main character, Connor Smith, in the next in her Vacation Mysteries series—is that too much to ask? Clearly it is, because when an attempt is made to kill the real Connor—the handsome but infuriating con man she got mixed up with ten years ago and now can’t get out of her life—Eleanor’s enlisted to help solve the case. Contending with literary competitors, rabid fans, a stalker—and even her ex, Oliver, who turns up unexpectedly—theories are bandied about, and rivalries, rifts, and broken hearts are revealed. But who’s really trying to get away with murder? Every Time I Go on Vacation, Someone Dies is an irresistible and hilarious series debut from Catherine Mack, introducing bestselling fictional author Eleanor Dash on her Italian book tour where life starts to imitate the world in her books when she’s caught up in a real-life murder mystery.
Every Tom, Dick & Harry: A Novel
by Elinor LipmanFrom the author of Ms. Demeanor—one of the most beloved comedic writers of our time—comes a charming, laugh-out-loud tale of love and criminality, a pitch-perfect romantic comedy.“Over the course of more than thirty years and at least fifteen books, Elinor Lipman has been creating a singularly delightful and instantly recognizable literary universe. Lipmanland is a world adjacent to our own except the people there are more charming, the conversations are wittier, and love always prevails. Every Tom, Dick & Harry, weaves together estate sales, good and bad cops, and--get this—smalltown houses of ill-repute with effortless glee. Add sparkling dialogue, an improbably hilarious funeral, and one of the author’s most endearing love stories and you have the Lipman Literary Landscape at its irresistible best. When events are too much to handle in the real world, there are few better breaks than entering this one. Passport optional.”—Stephen McCauleyTaking over her parents’ estate-sale business is not the life’s work that Emma Lewis bargained for. Yes, she grew up helping them empty people’s nests, but nothing prepared her for her biggest and stickiest “get”--the grand, beautiful house of ill repute masquerading as a decidedly beddable B and B. Should Emma turn down potential clients in need of decluttering just because they are shady, escort-y, and proud of it?No. A girl must make a living.Around some hairpin turns Lipman ingeniously reveals a straight shot to happiness.
Every Wish Way: A Novel
by Shannon BrightPerfect for fans of Erin Sterling and Ann Aguirre, for everyone who&’s ever dreamed of finding Mr. Right, and settled for Mr. Right Now, this romantic comedy from debut author Shannon Bright is a sparkling cocktail of humor and heart.Raised by a mother whose ironclad motto is &“men are trash,&” Iza longs to prove her wrong, ideally with a kind, steady boyfriend who will free her from the exhausting treadmill that is dating. Although she&’s willing to try (almost) anything to find love, accidentally summoning a wish-granting stranger out of thin air was never part of the plan.Unfortunately, Beckett, her personal wish-granter, isn&’t exactly the sage and generous being she would expect. Instead, he loves to party, has attitude to spare, and boasts an uncanny ability to point out Iza&’s worst flaws. Iza decides to use one of her three wishes to create her dream man—a modern Mr. Darcy. If that esteemed gentleman can&’t impress her overbearing mother, no one can. Using Pride and Prejudice as the handbook to Darcy&’s heart, Iza plays the part of Elizabeth Bennet and sets out to create her epic love story. Making wishes and winning Darcy over becomes more complicated than Iza expects, especially with Beckett&’s adorably dimpled grin and unexpected kindness in the equation. Soon enough, she&’s glimpsing the truth of the man behind the flippant persona, and each moment in his company makes her question everything she thought she wanted from love.
Every Witch Way
by Dakota ChaseAll Diva wants is to be an ordinary teenage girl. Unfortunately, she’s a descendant of Merlin and a witch with enormous powers. Her birthright makes it tough to find friends, so she jumps at the chance to visit Salem and study the witch trials. There, she meets a mysterious girl who might be a ghost and uncovers a magical plot to unleash hell on earth. The things Diva likes least about herself might be the only things that can save the world.
Every Witch Way
by Kirsty FerryOn this romantic Halloween romp through the scariest places in Scotland, a young woman discovers that true love can weave a spell all its own. Young and pretty Nessa hates her full name—Agnes—which she inherited from her great-great grandmother. It makes her feel even more awkward that she already is. But she’s starting to think she’s inherited something much more interesting from her namesake. Family rumor has long said that Great-Great Granny Agnes was a real-life witch. And with the peculiar things happening around Agnes lately, she wonders if she’s got a knack for witchery, too. First, there’s the strange book she picks up in her local coffee shop as if she were meant to find it. Then, out of nowhere, her hunky next-door neighbor Ewan asks her to accompany him on a supernatural research trip through Scotland. It’s a spooky, spirited journey—accompanied by a big black cat called Schubert—that will bring out the magic between Agnes and Ewan in a way neither would have expected . . .
Every Woman for Herself: A Novel
by Trisha AshleyCharlotte—Charlie—Rhymer's husband wants a divorce. Charlie isn't sure what she wants, but after the incident with the frying pan, even she has to concede that their differences may be irreconcilable after all. Returning home to her native Yorkshire and the bosom of her family seemed like a good idea at the time. Even if Charlie's father has never quite forgiven Charlie or her siblings (Anne, Emily and Branwell) for failing to live up to their more literary (as in Bronte) namesakes.Upvale Parsonage, the family home to which Charlie has retreated, is presided over by her sister Em. Em's hobbies are composing inspirational verses, dabbling in the Ancient Black Arts, and fighting off the incursions of Father's latest mistress. When the current mistress actually moves in, family loyalties are sorely tried. Still, Charlie is determined to bounce back from disaster and strike a blow for deserted older wives everywhere. But when she meets brooding actor Mace North, she realizes that when it comes to dating for the over-forty crowd, female solidarity be damned—it's every woman for herself!Sure to delight both Bronte fans and readers who like a good laugh with their romance, Trisha Ashley's first book to be published in the United States is a welcome treat.
Every Zombie Eats Somebody Sometime: A Book of Zombie Love Songs
by Michael P. SpradlinFrom the author and illustrator of the twisted New York Times bestselling Christmas classic, It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies, comes a heart-devouring collection of Zombie love songs, Every Zombie Eats Somebody Sometime. Michael P. Spradlin and Jeff Weigel put their warped minds—and talents—together once again to come up with a hilarious compendium for the ever-hungry aficionados of World War Z, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, and the movies Zombieland and Shaun of the Dead. Forget the bleeding heart vampires and werewolves of the Twilight series—Every Zombie Eats Somebody Sometime proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that these stumbling, decaying, flesh eaters are the true undead romantics!
Everybody Dies: A Children's Book for Grown-ups
by Ken Tanaka David UryNobody likes to think about death, but the world would be awfully crowded without it.From YouTube sensation Ken Tanaka and actor David Ury, who was crushed by an ATM on AMC's Breaking Bad, comes Everybody Dies, a colorful story and delightful assemblage of games that makes it easy-even fun- to come to grips with mortality.
Everybody into the Pool: True Tales
by Beth LisickBeth Lisick started out as a homecoming princess with a Crisco-aided tan and a bad perm. And then everything changed. Plunging headlong into America's deepest subcultures, while keeping both feet firmly planted in her parents' Leave It to Beaver values, Lisick makes her adult home on the fringe of mainstream culture and finds it rich with paradox and humor. On the one hand, she lives in "Brokeley" with drug dealers and street gangs; on the other, she drives a station wagon with a baby seat in the back, makes her own chicken stock, and attends ladies' luncheons. How exactly did this suburban girl-next-door end up as one of San Francisco's foremost chroniclers of alternative culture? Lisick explains it all in her hilarious, irreverent, bestselling memoir, Everybody into the Pool.Fans of David Sedaris and Sarah Vowell will relish Lisick's scathingly funny, smart, very real take on the effluvia of daily living. No matter what community she's exposing to the light, Lisick always hits the right chord.
Everybody Is Awful: (Except You!)
by Jim Norton Jim FlorentineA rant-ish memoir by the veteran stand-up comedian and former cohost of That Metal Show, with a foreword by Jim NortonTwitter Trolls. Facebook Freaks. Instagram Exhibitionists. These are just a few of the creatures our technology-obsessed culture has spawned in its quest to simplify our lives. The madness is so universal now that everyone has dealt with it. You log in to Facebook, read a stupid post, and immediately want to tell your "friend" to go have relations with himself. Sure, social media may keep us connected, but it is a breeding ground for idiots, and these idiots have crowd-sourced a storm of useless information, corny jokes, and douchebag drama that's wasting our time and screwing with our peace of mind.Thankfully, popular comedian and television host Jim Florentine has a solution for those of us on the verge of bashing our iPhones to bits. In Everybody Is Awful, Florentine attacks awful people and awful situations with the same biting satire and cringe-worthy humor that made him famous on television shows like Crank Yankers, Meet the Creeps, and That Metal Show.Along the way, Everybody Is Awful takes readers through the author's formative years, a time filled with rebellion and horrible behavior, to the crazy early days of his career as a stand-up comedian. Florentine also recounts how he developed an obsession with pranks that morphed into his uniquely vigilante style of comedy and made him one of the most legendary prank callers of all time.Florentine excels at channeling the core rage we all feel at the seemingly small annoyances of life, and his fans love the cathartic experience of his hilarious ranting and raving, a tradition continued in Everybody Is Awful. Acting as a de facto therapist, Florentine diagnoses awful behavior, shames awful people, and offers comedic takes on how to reclaim our lives from it all.
Everybody Is Somebody #12 (Here's Hank #12)
by Henry Winkler Lin Oliver Scott GarrettIn the final book of this bestselling easy-to-read series, Hank begins a new chapter!When a well-known author of a beloved book series visits Hank's school, he and his two best friends get the chance to be her guide for the day and introduce her at an assembly. But Hank, embarrassed by his struggles with reading, tries to hide the fact that he's never actually finished reading the author's books--or any book, for that matter! So Hank gets creative and makes up his own version of the story. But will everyone be able to tell fact from fiction?This bestselling series written by Henry Winkler and Lin Oliver is perfect for the transitional reader. With a unique, easy-to-read font, endless humor, and characters every kid would want to be friends with, any story with Hank is an adventure!
Everybody Needs a Buddy (The Big Idea Gang)
by James PrellerThe Big Idea Gang is buddying up on a new idea for a more welcoming playground in this chapter book series about making a case—and making a difference. When third-graders Deon, Kym, Lizzy, and Connor formed the Big Idea Gang, their mission was simply to oust the old mascot in favor of something cooler. But sales from the new mascot paraphernalia have led to extra cash for the PTA, and you can bet this gang has big ideas about how to spend it. A playground pirate ship! An author visit! New basketball hoops! There are lots of ways they can think of to improve their school; but what about a way to make it a kinder, more inclusive place? Luckily, their teacher, Miss Zips, is skilled in the art of persuasion. Armed with Miss Zips's persuasive tips, the Big Idea Gang sets out to build a case for a new-and-improved Clay Elementary, and convince the rest of the school that their idea is the best.
Everybody Poops 10 Million Pounds: The Astounding Fecal Facts of a Day in the City (Illustrated Bathroom)
by Deuce FlanaganDiscover the fascinating facts and riveting stories of the world beneath your toilet in this fully illustrated bathroom reader for adults.Every day, Americans produce hundreds of millions of pounds of poop. In New York City alone, the weight of poop-based sludge produced each day is around 1,200 tons—the equivalent of 200 African elephants. So unbuckle your trousers and pull up a toilet seat; this book is going to push open the lavatory door and answer these fascinating mysteries of poop:• Where does poop go when you flush?• What’s the secret genius below an outhouse?• Are you eating food grown in your own poop?• Can you ride a poop-powered bus?• Was there really a flush toilet 5,000 years ago?• What is the future of poop?
Everybody Poops 410 Pounds a Year: An Illustrated Bathroom Companion for Grown-Ups (Illustrated Bathroom Books)
by David R. Dudley Deuce FlanaganONCE UPON A TIME . . .. . . when you were little, you learned that everyone poops. But did you ever discover how much? Well, sit down on that cold porcelain throne and get ready to laugh your butt off at the most amazing, hilarious, need-to-go facts on the one thing everyone does--but nobody talks about. Filled to the rim with piles of fascinating dirty fun, this illustrated kids' book for grown-ups answers all the questions you never thought to ask: How do astronauts poop in space? Where does poop go after you flush? Why can I see the corn but not the chicken? Can I light my poop on fire? Who invented the first flushing toilet? What's the poop on Michael Jackson, Elvis and John Wayne?
Everybody's Favorite: Tales from the World's Worst Perfectionist
by Lillian Stone“Many have tried, and many will try, to capture the sweet, innocent insanity of life as a young girl during the ’90s and 2000s. None have come close to the comedic perfection Lillian Stone nails again and again in Everybody’s Favorite.” —Glamour, Best Nonfiction Books of 2023From one of the Internet’s favorite self-deprecating commentators comes Everybody’s Favorite, a laugh-out-loud essay collection that tackles the relentless pursuit of perfection while navigating growing up in the early 2000s.Lillian Stone—childhood evangelical, AOL girlfriend, and professional nail biter is always living on the edge of anxiety. From the pitfalls of a girl plagued by religious trauma, the incomprehensible yet unforgiving need for perfection, and a poorly-behaved twenty-pound beagle, Everybody’s Favorite is a refreshing story of what it means to pick yourself when the world is telling you otherwise. Still navigating the ins and outs of adulthood, accompanied by an obsessive-compulsive disorder that’s become an exercise in self-acceptance and thus compassion, Lillian has become an expert in fighting the urge to be someone else’s idea of perfect. In this laugh-out-loud essay collection, replete with cringe-inducing touchstones of an early-aughts girlhood, Lillian Stone recounts her quest to be everybody’s favorite.Set largely during the early 2000s Ozarks, and peppered with Stone’s biting satire and gloriously self-deprecating personal anecdotes, Everybody’s Favorite is a wry, empathetic look at the chaos that ensues when we contort ourselves into an ever-changing assortment of socially acceptable shapes —only to fall out of place, twist an ankle, pee your pants a little, and realize that the pursuit of perfection isn’t really all that interesting.
Everybody's Favorite Book
by Mike AllegraA slyly fun picture book for kids and adults alike! Anyone who says, “You can’t please everybody,” isn’t trying hard enough. At least, that’s what the cheeky narrator of this meta picture book thinks! A "good" book may have a spaceman or a ninja or a cowboy, but Everybody’s Favorite Book has something better: a Space Ninja Cow. And that’s only the beginning. You like princesses? We got ‘em. Prefer a mystery? No sweat. Want the definition of "gallimaufry"? A good poop joke? A giant, carnivorous guinea pig? Check, check and check. And there's more! Much more! This book has everything, for everybody!Here’s hoping things don’t go awry. (Spoiler, they do.) An Imprint Book“Silliness abounds as the energy level on each increasingly crowded page ramps up... cheerfully chaotic.” —Kirkus
Everybunny Count!
by Ellie SandallA delightfully exuberant counting story with bunnies galore! Did you know that bunnies love to play hide-and-seek? Count from one to ten with these cheerful bunnies and one not-so-scary fox!Fox and bunnies like to play,all together, every day.Playing hide-and-seek today...everybunny count!Praise for Follow Me: 'Lyrically written, Follow Me has a mesmeric quality that leaves you wanting to enjoy multiple consecutive readings. A real gem.' - Huffington PostFollow Ellie on Twitter at @elliesandall
Everybunny Loves Magic (The Incredibly Dead Pets of Rex Dexter #3)
by Aaron ReynoldsFrom #1 New York Times bestselling author Aaron Reynolds comes the third hilariously macabre mystery in The Incredibly Dead Pets of Rex Dexter series.My name is Rex Dexter. Yes. THAT Rex Dexter. The one cursed with the ability to see and talk to dead animals. The solver of atrocities against the four-footed. The savior of the flipper-finned. Save your standing ovation for later, because I have bigger things on my mind. Rabbits. Specifically, dead rabbits. And not just anybunny. This particular gaggle of rabbits once belonged to the Astounding Isabel, Middling Falls&’ foremost birthday party magician. One thing has quickly become clear…somebunny hates magic. Whoever it is, they&’re attempting to put the Astounding Isabel out of the birthday biz for good. And they&’re willing to whack a whole lotta bunnies to do it. It&’s a cold cruel world out there. But don&’t worry. I&’m on the case. And so is Darvish. And Drumstick. And possibly several dozen rabbits. The point is, nobunny pulls one over on Rex Dexter…and his best friend…and his dead chicken.Nobunny.