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Fart-o-Pedia: An Illustrated Encyclopedia of Flatulent Facts, Gassy Gags, And More!—300 Explosive Facts and Jokes!
by Rip Van RippertonAn colorfully illustrated encyclopedia of fart facts, jokes, riddles, and more! Flatulently funny and perfect for ages 7–12! With humorous entries that include types of farts, food items that cause gas, what farts are called in different countries, jokes and riddles, sidebars, science, rules, advice, how to&’s, and more, this book is the gassiest gift for the fart fan in any family. It contains a mishmash of information, perfect for bathroom reading and rippin' jokes with your pals. Entries include:Dog, the: Who you blame when you pass gas at the dinner table.How to save a fart for later.Fart in a glass Mason jar.Quickly put the lid on and screw it tightly.Have a friend open it later.Once you&’ve done this, send us a note telling us whether or not it worked."Hoof Hearted Ice Melted:" Say it out loud five times. You&’ll get it.Pull my finger: What someone says to a friend when they have a fart locked and loaded. Once the friend pulls the finger, the fart is unleashed. Great trick that only works once.Silent but deadly (SBD): A fart that comes out with barely a whisper but then knocks everyone out with its noxious stench.
Fart Proudly: Writings of Benjamin Franklin You Never Read in School
by Benjamin Franklin Carl JapikseA mention of flatulence might conjure up images of bratty high school boys or lowbrow comics. But one of the most eloquent--and least expected--commentators on the subject is Benjamin Franklin. The writings in "Fart Proudly" reveal the rogue who lived peaceably within the philosopher and statesman. Included are "The Letter to a Royal Academy"; "On Choosing a Mistress"; "Rules on Making Oneself Disagreeable"; and other jibes. Franklin's irrepressible wit found an outlet in perpetrating hoaxes, attacking marriage and other sacred cows, and skewering the English Parliament. Reminding us of the humorous, irreverent side of this American icon, these essays endure as both hilarious satire and a timely reminder of the importance of a free press.
Fart Proudly: Writings of Benjamin Franklin You Never Read in School
by Benjamin Franklin Carl JapikseA mention of flatulence might conjure up images of bratty high school boys or lowbrow comics. But one of the most eloquent—and least expected—commentators on the subject is Benjamin Franklin. The writings in Fart Proudly reveal the rogue who lived peaceably within the philosopher and statesman. Included are "The Letter to a Royal Academy"; "On Choosing a Mistress"; "Rules on Making Oneself Disagreeable"; and other jibes. Franklin's irrepressible wit found an outlet in perpetrating hoaxes, attacking marriage and other sacred cows, and skewering the English Parliament. Reminding us of the humorous, irreverent side of this American icon, these essays endure as both hilarious satire and a timely reminder of the importance of a free press.
Fart Quest (Fart Quest #1)
by Aaron Reynolds"Stay tuned for further gassy exploits." - Booklist, starred reviewJam-packed with potty humor, feats of bravery, and magical friendships, Fart Quest by bestselling author Aaron Reynolds and illustrator Cam Kendell is perfect for every young hero looking for a wild adventure. After their masters are vaporized in a goblin battle gone bad, Fart, Pan, and Moxie—three lowly apprentices—decide to impersonate their mentors and pick up the mantle as heroes of the realm. But they need more than a fancy robe, magic staff, and book of magical beasts to be real heroes. They need a quest!So when The Great and Powerful Kevin puts out a call for help, seeking the coveted Golden Llama and its magical golden fart, young Fart and his friends jump at the chance and embark on a journey they were destined for.
Fart Quest: A Silent But Deadly Adventure (Fart Quest #3)
by Aaron Reynolds“If you love fantasy, funny humor, flatulence, and friends, then Aaron Reynolds has written the perfect book for you!” —DAN SANTAT, author of The Aquanut, Sidekicks, and The Adventures of Beekle Another fart-tastic installment in the middle-grade adventure series by #1 New York Times bestselling author Aaron Reynolds and illustrator Cam Kendell.The Great and Powerful Kevin has a new quest for our heroes… seek out another disgusting ingredient for his mysterious project.High in the Frostflung Mountains lies the lair of a fearsome dragon named Glacierbane. Pan, Moxie, Fart and TickTock must venture there and fish a dragon-digested object from deep within a pile of dragon doo.But Pan isn’t having it. She’s not sure why, but she doesn’t trust Kevin. But when she learns of a kidnapped prince that needs rescuing from Glacierbane, suddenly this quest seems a whole lot more heroic.Our young heroes will face their toughest challenges yet as they team up with a valiant knight, brave the air-islands of Frostflung, fight yetis and snow goblins, solve puzzles and riddles, face a dragon, and seek the poo they need.
Fart Quest: The Barf of the Bedazzler (Fart Quest #2)
by Aaron Reynolds“If you love fantasy, funny humor, flatulence, and friends, then Aaron Reynolds has written the perfect book for you!” —DAN SANTAT, author of The Aquanut, Sidekicks, and The Adventures of Beekle Fart and his friends take on a new belly-quaking quest in the hilarious sequel Fart Quest: The Barf of the Bedazzler written by #1 New York Times bestselling author Aaron Reynolds and illustrated by Cam Kendell.After crushing their very first quest, young adventurers Pan, Moxie, and Fart are hungry for their next challenge. Luckily, the Great and Powerful Kevin has cooked up something for the trio: Locate a bedazzler—a rare and monstrous creature of truly horrific power—and bring back . . . its barf.But the danger in tracking down a bedazzler is hard to swallow. Rumor tells of a ruthless pirate captain who may be the only living soul that knows where to find a bedazzler. Our heroes must head to the high seas for a mission so deadly, they might lose their lives—or their lunch.Bestselling author Aaron Reynolds and Cam Kendell bring even more laughs, adventure, and silliness in The Barf of the Bedazzler, book two in the Fart Quest series.
Fart Quest: The Troll's Toe Cheese (Fart Quest #4)
by Aaron Reynolds“If you love fantasy, funny humor, flatulence, and friends, then Aaron Reynolds has written the perfect book for you!” —DAN SANTAT, author of The Aquanut, Sidekicks, and The Adventures of Beekle Fart Quest: The Troll's Toe Cheese is the fourth book in a hilarious Dungeons & Dragons inspired series by New York Times bestselling author Aaron Reynolds.They've destroyed an evil creature with stink gas, collected barf from a truly hideous monster, and dug through a dragon's dookie for magical treasure. Now, Fart, Pan, Moxie, and TickTock are facing their scariest challenge yet—an angry mom!The Great and Powerful Kevin has promised Pan, who lost her mother when she was a baby, that she could see her mom one last time. But instead, shes sees a distorted spirit of her mother, transformed into an evil creature bent on revenge against those who caused her death.Meanwhile, some new information comes to light, and Fart and friends head out on a rescue mission. Deep within the goblin caves, they search for evidence of their long lost masters, facing goblins, fire rats, floor fiends, and a troll with some seriously disgusting toenails along the way.In this epic addition to the Fart Quest series, our adventurers discover that a true hero is not measured in the sum of their mistakes—but in the difference they make in spite of them.
Fart Squad (Fart Squad #1)
by Stephen Gilpin Seamus PilgerIt was an average day at Harry Buttz Elementary until . . . KABLAM! The five-bean burritos churning in Darren Stonkadopolis's stomach exploded in a fart so volcanic it melted his desk seat, knocked out his whole class, and got him sent to the nurse--and he's not alone.Something fishy is going on in Buttzville. And it's up to Darren and his three farting friends to combine their potty powers to get to the bottom of this evil plot--before it's too late. With their scent-sei, Janitor Stan, at their side, the Fart Squad has to learn to harness the powers between their butt cheeks. And then let it RIIIP."A flagrant romp. Not to be passed!"--The New York Toots"A cut above the rest."--StinkyCheese.com"If you haven't caught wind of Fart Squad yet, don't let this one go!" --Rude News"We've been dealt a winner!"--SmeltIt.blog.com
Fart Squad #2: Fartasaurus Rex
by Stephen Gilpin Seamus PilgerIt's the second adventure from the smelt-it, dealt-it, you-can-fasten-your-seat-belt-but-they-might-melt-it . . . fearless FART SQUAD! This laugh-out-loud chapter book series is perfect for Captain Underpants fans. With black-and-white illustrations throughout and port-a-potties full of bathroom humor, young readers will be giggling from start to finish.When Darren Stonkadopolis and the rest of the Fart Squad are bussed off to the Natural History Museum, Darren melts a petrified tar pit with a volcano-hot fart. And when he does, he lets out what the pit had been holding in--the deadliest farter in all history, the ferocious Fartasaurus Rex. Now it's up to the Fart Squad to chow down, power up, and blast this prehistoric beast back to the Flatulent Age before the whole town becomes fossil fuel!"If you can smell what this dino had for lunch, you might be dinner!"--It's a Gas with Smooth Flo on WCPU"Fart attacks are up 82 percent all over the city. Sneak fart attacks are up 90 percent."--Good Morning, Buttzville"The business end of this dino means business!"--PassingtonPost.com
Fart Squad #3: Unidentified Farting Objects
by Stephen Gilpin Seamus PilgerIt's the third adventure from the bloaters of the big leagues, the stinkers to the stars, the gassians of the galaxy . . . the fearless FART SQUAD! This laugh-out-loud chapter book series is perfect for Captain Underpants fans. <P><P>With black-and-white illustrations throughout and porta-potties full of bathroom humor, young readers will be giggling from start to finish.When Darren Stonkadopolis claims he's had a close encounter of the stinky kind, the other Fart Squad members think he's full of hot air. But then the alien Stink Weeds descend, and the Fart Squad is forced to smell the truth. It'll take some Weedwacking, stealthy stench tactics, and buttfuls of gas so smelly they'd make the sun blush to stop these mutant extraterrestrial vegetables from universal stinkination.
Fart Squad #4: The Toilet Vortex
by Seamus Pilger Stephen GilpinIt's the fourth adventure from the belly-bloating, plunger-toting, pants-exploding . . . fearless FART SQUAD! This laugh-out-loud chapter book series is perfect for Captain Underpants fans. With black-and-white illustrations throughout and a butt-load of bathroom humor, young readers will be giggling from start to finish.Something is rotten in the plumbing of Harry Buttz Elementary School, and it's kidnapped Janitor Stan!It's up to the Fart Squad to dive into the toilet vortex to save their scent-sei from the World of the Royal Flush. Grab a match, because this stink just got real. Only the Fart Squad has the guts, the gall, and the gas to flush this round brown mound before he overflows his toilet kingdom on the world.
Fart Squad #5: Underpantsed!
by Seamus Pilger Stephen GilpinIt's the fifth adventure from the crack of the crop, the bum de la bum, the stink of the litter . . . the fearless FART SQUAD! This laugh-out-loud chapter book series is perfect for Captain Underpants fans. With black-and-white illustrations throughout and a butt load of bathroom humor, young readers will be giggling from start to finish.Underwear is disappearing all over Buttzville, and it's up to the Fart Squad to sniff out the villain who's brought the city to a chafing halt.But the heroes better hold on to their tighty-whities. Doctor Lucius René Bottom is out to pants the city that yanked his underwear business out from beneath him--and take the Fart Squad down, too. Get ready to go commando like no kid has gone before, because the Fart Squad is filling with fuel, gaining gas, and getting ready to kick some Bottom with the foulest fart attack in the history of Buttzville!
Fart Squad #6: Blast from the Past
by Seamus Pilger Stephen GilpinIt’s the sixth adventure from the crack of the crop, the wild at fart, the first in gas, the fart-astic four . . . the fearless FART SQUAD! Here ye, here ye, good sirs and ladies! The magnificent Fart Squad has arrived to pull ye olde Golden Scratcher from a stone as tough as buns of steel.The Fart Squad must travel back in time to rescue the Golden Scratcher before Harry Buttz can get his hands on it—and leave the world in an itchy mess. Can the heroes of Buttzville cut the cheese on his stinky plan and save history? This laugh-out-loud chapter book series is perfect for Captain Underpants fans. With black-and-white illustrations throughout and a butt-load of kid-perfect humor, young readers will be giggling from start to finish.
Fartopedia: Everything You Didn't Need to Know – and More!
by Martin FlemingIf you thought there was only one type of fart, get ready to be blown away!There’s no questioning the unbridled joy brought about by a good fart. But like a beautiful snowflake, each fart is unique. From the ever-so-dainty Pipsqueak to the mighty window frame-rattling Thunderclap, there’s a whole world of bottom-burps to savour.This informative and revealing tome presents a wide variety of the multitudinous number of farts known to mankind, along with a plethora of butt trumpet facts. Ranging from how to fart and get away with it to the worst places to fart, you’ll realise you didn’t know the first thing about flatulence!
Fascinating Facts to Blow Your Curious Mind: Wild and Wacky Things You Never Knew
by MJC MatthewA compendium of fantastical facts and essential knowledge for all ages, covering every subject on earth (and beyond), including geography, space, history, the ocean, animals, food, and the human body, from Tiktok star MJC Matthew.Did you know that the reason you can never find the end of a rainbow is because they are actually full circles? Or that our fingers shrivel up when they get wet because our bodies are adapting to give us a better grip in the water?If these pique your interest then ready yourself for a whole host of interesting tidbits touching on geography, space, history, and animals, as well as a special section on little-known survival knowledge that one day just might save your life!This fascinating and hilarious trivia guide will also cover answers to key questions such as:Are we all related?What is more dangerous: a koala or a crocodile?Did the pope cause the Black Death?Why was New York once known as New Orange?Should you use spiderwebs as a bandage?How much bamboo would it take to cover the Taj Mahal?
The Fashion Committee
by Susan JubyProject Runway meets I'll Give You the Sun in a hilarious and surprising he-said, she-said story about a fashion competition that will change both of their lives, from acclaimed author, Susan Juby.Charlie Dean is a style-obsessed girl who eats, sleeps, and breathes fashion. John Thomas-Smith is a boy who forges metal sculptures in his garage and couldn't care less about clothes. But they share one thing in common: both are gunning for a scholarship to the private art high school that could make all their dreams come true. And whoever wins the fashion competition will win the scholarship. Told in the alternating voices of Charlie's and John's fashion journals which they're required to keep for the contest, this hilarious and poignant tale perfectly captures what it's like to have an artistic passion so fierce that nothing--not your dad's girlfriend's drug-addicted ex-boyfriend, a soul-crushing job at Salad Stop, or being charged with a teensy bit of kidnapping--can stand in your way.
The Fashion Committee
by Susan Juby"The Fashion Committee is another winner by one of my all time favorite authors."--Meg Cabot, New York Times bestselling author of the The Princess Diaries and Mediator series Charlie Dean is a style-obsessed girl who eats, sleeps, and breathes fashion. John Thomas-Smith is a boy who forges metal sculptures in his garage and couldn’t care less about clothes. Both are gunning for a scholarship to the private art high school that could make all their dreams come true. Whoever wins the fashion competition will win the scholarship—and only one can win. Told in the alternating voices of Charlie’s and John’s journals, this hilarious and poignant YA novel perfectly captures what it’s like to have an artistic drive so fierce that nothing—not your dad’s girlfriend’s drug-addicted ex-boyfriend, a soul-crushing job at Salad Stop, or being charged with a teensy bit of kidnapping—can stand in your way. With black and white art custom-created by fashion and beauty illustrator Soleil Ignacio, the book is a collector’s item, perfect for anyone with a passion for fashion.
Fashion Kitty versus the Fashion Queen (Fashion Kitty)
by Charise Mericle HarperAfter her last adventure, Fashion Kitty is truly becoming a hero. At school, she is more popular than ever. She's even been mentioned in several articles in the local newspaper, (which she clips out and saves in a scrapbook, of course). But not everyone is excited about Fashion Kitty's newfound popularity. A spoiled new kitty named Cassandra doesn't like sharing the spotlight. And when Fashion Kitty starts inspiring the other kitties at school to be more independent about their style choices, Cassandra really doesn't like it.
Fashionably Late (G. K. Hall Core Ser.)
by Olivia GoldsmithA clothes designer tries to coordinate her out-of-control life, in a novel from the New York Times–bestselling author that&’s &“juicy good fun&” (Newsday). All of Karen Kahn&’s dreams seem to be coming true. She&’s been honored with the fashion industry&’s most coveted award, her marriage is thriving, and some very impressive money is being dangled in front of her in a proposed buyout. The only thing missing is what she craves most—a baby. When she receives the heartbreaking news that she&’ll never be able to have a child, it feels like the doctor&’s verdict has pulled a loose thread—and suddenly everything seems to be unraveling. Now she has to take a hard look at her life and figure out what really suits her and what doesn&’t . . . &“This new novel by the author of The First Wives Club works at every level. An engaging, behind-the-scenes look at the fashion industry, it lays bare the frenetic pace, cutthroat competition and chronic backbiting of the world of couture. Also an engrossing family saga, it shows 40-year-old Karen, who is infertile, desperately trying to adopt a baby and, as an adopted child herself, searching for her birth mother. The narrative also offers a hilariously dark portrait of Karen&’s immediate—and totally dysfunctional—family. A glittering New York social backdrop, plenty of namedropping, romance, some outstandingly creative characters . . . A book that fairly hums with excitement.&” —Publishers Weekly
The Fast and the Frozen (Geronimo Stilton Cavemice #4)
by Geronimo StiltonGeronimo Stilton's ancient ancestor Geronimo Stiltonoot is back in another prehistoric adventure! A visiting rodent has arrived in Old Mouse City with astounding news. On his recent journey to a distant land, he spotted a mountain . . . moving! Holey cheese! Geronimo Stiltonoot is determined to travel to the ice and snow himself to find out what lies behind this mystery. It's a fur-raising expedition!
The Fast and the Frozen (Geronimo Stilton Cavemice #4)
by Geronimo StiltonIn this fun spin-off to the bestselling middle grade adventure series, the prehistoric ancestor to Geronimo Stilton investigates a Stone Age mystery.Geronimo Stilton’s ancient ancestor Geronimo Stiltonoot is back in another prehistoric adventure!A visiting rodent has arrived in Old Mouse City with astounding news. On his recent journey to a cold, distant land, he spotted a mountain . . . moving! Holey cheese! Geronimo Stiltonoot sets off on a trip to the ice and snow to find out what lies behind this mystery. It’s a fur-raising expedition!Praise for the Geronimo Stilton’s Cavemice series:“Fans of the other Geronimo Stilton books will definitely embrace the over-the-top silliness in this new spin-off.” —BooklistPraise for Geronimo Stilton’s books:“Lightning pace and full-color design will hook kids in a flash.” —Publishers Weekly
Fast Eddie, King of the Bees
by Robert ArellanoA hustler searches for truth in a dystopian Boston, in this novel of &“comically elaborate twists and turns of plot [and] broad social satire&” (Robert Coover, bestselling author of The Public Burning). An abandoned child hustles on the streets of a dystopic, near-future Boston in the aftermath of the Great Devaluation, as squatters have turned the tunnel system into an underground hive known as Dig City. During an elaborate search for his unknown parents, Eddie narrates his adventures as a street performer, pickpocket, adoptee, casino employee, and, finally, commander of the subterranean revolution. . . . &“Takes its cue from William S. Burroughs, Philip K. Dick, Charles Dickens, Jack Kerouac, and Tom Robbins. This may be the first postapocalyptic novel in which the apocalypse was created by a public works project, Boston&’s Big Dig, which is currently in its second decade . . . Misdirection and game theory flesh out this funny and surprising book.&” —Library Journal
Fast Food Maniac
by Jon HeinThe beloved personality from The Howard Stern Show celebrates American fast food, exploring the history and secret menu items of both national and regional chains, ranking everything from burgers and fries to ice and mascots, and offering his own expert tips on where to go and what to order. Jon Hein is the ultimate fast food maniac, and in this book he draws on his extensive knowledge of, and love for, both nationwide chains and regional gems, from McDonald's and KFC to In-N-Out Burger and Carvel. He digs into their origin stories; reveals secret menu items; includes best lists for everything from fried chicken and shakes to connoisseur concerns such as straws and biscuits; takes a nostalgic look back at the best giveaways, slogans, and uniforms; and even provides a battle-tested drive-thru strategy. With behind-the-counter looks at places like the Dunkin' Donuts headquarters and Nathan's original hot dog stand, Fast Food Maniac is the definitive, cross-country guide to some of America's best-loved guilty pleasures.From the Trade Paperback edition.
Fast Forward: A heart-warming and laugh-out-loud romantic comedy
by Juliet MadisonWhat if you found yourself living your future life? Aspiring supermodel Kelli Crawford seems destined to marry her hotshot photographer boyfriend—but on her twenty-fifth birthday she wakes up in an entirely different world . . . Suddenly, she sn&’t twenty-five; she&’s turning fifty. She doesn&’t have a big-deal boyfriend; she has a nerdy husband. She also has demanding adult children, a grandchild on the way, and symptoms of menopause. Not to mention a whole lot of very confusing technology to figure out. While Kelli &“celebrates&” her Big Five-O birthday, she desperately schemes to get back to her glorious past. But what if there&’s no way out—and what if her future proves to be the life she really wants to lead?