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A Father's Kisses: A Novel
by Bruce Jay FriedmanA ridiculously funny novel about a devoted single dad who becomes an international hit man from the author of A Mother's Kisses After losing his job as a poultry distributor, William Binny spends his mornings at the local diner polishing off a cheap breakfast and perusing the local paper. A widower with an 11-year-old daughter who could pass for 14, Binny has plenty of reasons to worry about the future. Salvation soon walks through the diner doors, however, in the form of a redheaded Englishman named Valentine Peabody. Peabody makes an unlikely proposition: He will pay Binny thousands of dollars to kill the enemies of his mysterious billionaire boss. The victims are bad men guilty of myriad crimes, but does Binny have what it takes to commit murder? For the sake of his daughter's future, he is willing to find out. When his first few assignments do not go as planned, however, Binny starts to wonder if there is more to his new job than meets the eye. The shocking truth that he eventually uncovers brings this rollicking thrill ride to a conclusion so dramatic, hilarious, tender, and absurd it could only have been imagined by author Bruce Jay Friedman. This ebook features an illustrated biography of Bruce Jay Friedman including rare photos from the author's personal collection.
A Father's Words: A Novel (Phoenix Fiction Ser.)
by Richard SternA tale of the battles between a father and son by an author whose novels are &“robustly intelligent, very funny, and beguilingly humane&” (Philip Roth). Cy Riemer is the patriarch of a successful and loving Chicago family. But not all is copacetic in Cy&’s world. The scientific newsletter he publishes is foundering financially, his ex-wife still relies on him for money and intimacy, and he can never seem to find the time or the wherewithal to relax. Much of Cy&’s stress is caused by the trouble he has with his brilliant and duplicitous son, Jack. With a mixture of humor, grief, and astonishment, Cy becomes our tour guide to the Riemer family&’s museum of triumphs and tragedies. A comic and clear-eyed portrait of the quintessential worried father and the son who lives to torture him, A Father&’s Words is packed with Richard Stern&’s trademark wit, compassion, and insight.
The Fathom Flies Again
by James WalleyIt's time to wake up and smell the carnage. Just as every night gives way to dawn, all dreams yield to the break of day. For Marty, that's kind of a problem. When you've fought killer clowns, sailed the seven skies, and generally laid waste to your own dreamspace, real life can be kind of a drag. At least, until your nightmares crawl through the cracks and shadows, and take a liking to your town. When the jesters come a knocking, it's time to man up. When the unmentionables under your bed come a biting, it's time to grab your trusty, pint-sized pirate compadre and lead a charge against the night terrors. What does this mean for Marty? It means the crew of The Flying Fathom are back, surfing on rainbows, swashing their buckles, and saving the world, one sleepy little town at a time. Book one of this series, The Forty First Wink, brought you a glimpse of utter, rum-swilling madness. Now The Fathom Flies Again, pushing you over the edge and chuckling at your plummeting screams, before scuttling off to find something shiny to steal. Remember, if you hear something under your bed, don't move. Don't make a sound. Draw your cutlass and think of something devilishly witty to shout, because things, my friend, are about to get all too real.
Fatty O'Leary's Dinner Party (A Vintage Short)
by Alexander Mccall SmithAn all-new, never-before-published original short novel by the bestselling author of The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, about a hapless American tourist's larger-than-life comical trip to Ireland. Shortlisted for the 2015 Bollinger Everyman Wodehouse prize for comic fictionCornelius P. "Fatty" O'Leary and his wife, Betty, plan a vacation in Ireland for his fortieth birthday, where they will tour his ancestral homeland and relax in the countryside. Almost immediately, things go terribly wrong: the seats in economy class on the plane are too small; the country hotel's dinner spread and bathroom fixtures leave much to be desired; and the down-to-earth O'Learys find their fellow guests are more than a little snobbish. In this amusing and touching portrayal of a kindly, misunderstood soul, McCall Smith has created yet another memorable character who will become an instant favorite to his many fans.An eBook short.
Fatty O'Leary's Dinner Party
by Alexander Mccall SmithAn all-new, never-before-published eBook original novel by the bestselling author of the No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, about a hapless American tourist's larger-than-life comical trip to Ireland. Cornelius P. "Fatty" O'Leary and his wife Betty plan a vacation in Ireland for his fortieth birthday, where they will tour his ancestral homeland and relax in the countryside. Almost immediately, things go terribly wrong: the seats in economy class on the plane are too small; the country hotel's dinner spread and bathroom fixtures leave much to be desired; and the down-to-earth O'Learys find their fellow guests are more than a little snobbish. In this amusing and touching portrayal of a kindly and misunderstood soul, McCall Smith has created yet another memorable character who will become an instant favorite to his many fans.Available exclusively as an eBook.
Faun & Games (Xanth Ser. #Vol. 21)
by Piers Anthony“The future sure won’t have been what it used to be” when Piers Anthony reveals a world within the world of Xanth—and its infinite possibilities (Kirkus Reviews). The miraculous and mirth-filled land of Xanth holds many marvels. But now an extraordinary new aspect of this remarkable realm unfolds as young Forrest Faun’s quest takes him to a tiny planet hidden in the heart of Xanth. There, with a delightful “day mare” as his constant companion, Forrest will find more marvels then he ever dreamed of. Packed with magic, mystery, and merrymaking, Faun & Games is the freshest and most exciting Xanth adventure in a month of Pundays! “With plenty of the spry characters and cheerful wordplay for which Anthony’s works are known, this new Xanth tale should, like its predecessors, manage to wiggle its way onto the bestseller lists.” —Publishers Weekly
Faust Among Equals
by Tom HoltThe management buy-out of Hell wasn't going quite as well as had been hoped. For a start, there had been that nasty business with the perjurors, and then came the news that the Most Wanted Man in History had escaped, and all just as the plans for the new theme park, EuroBosch, were underway.
Faust Among Equals
by Tom Holt'Another imaginative and seriously funny novel from a master of the humorous fantasy genre.' - Books Magazine'Only a writer like Holt could make this work quite so well, and he does with great skill. Lots of fun.' - Manchester Evening NewsThe management buy-out of Hell wasn't going quite as well as had been hoped. For a start, there had been that nasty business with the perjurors, and then came the news that the Most Wanted Man in History had escaped, and all just as the plans for the new theme park, EuroBosch, were underway.From one of the best-loved comic writers in fantasy fiction comes another absurdly witty title - perfect for fans of Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett.Books by Tom Holt: Walled Orchard Series Goatsong The Walled Orchard J.W. Wells & Co. Series The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages YouSpace Series Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug Novels Expecting Someone Taller Who's Afraid of Beowulf Flying Dutch Ye Gods! Overtime Here Comes the Sun Grailblazers Faust Among Equals Odds and Gods Djinn Rummy My Hero Paint your Dragon Open Sesame Wish you Were Here Alexander at World's End Only Human Snow White and the Seven Samurai Olympiad Valhalla Nothing But Blue Skies Falling SidewaysLittle PeopleSong for NeroMeadowlandBarkingBlonde BombshellThe Management Style of the Supreme BeingsAn Orc on the Wild Side
Faust Among Equals
by Tom Holt'Another imaginative and seriously funny novel from a master of the humorous fantasy genre.' - Books Magazine'Only a writer like Holt could make this work quite so well, and he does with great skill. Lots of fun.' - Manchester Evening NewsThe management buy-out of Hell wasn't going quite as well as had been hoped. For a start, there had been that nasty business with the perjurors, and then came the news that the Most Wanted Man in History had escaped, and all just as the plans for the new theme park, EuroBosch, were underway.From one of the best-loved comic writers in fantasy fiction comes another absurdly witty title - perfect for fans of Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett.Books by Tom Holt: Walled Orchard Series Goatsong The Walled Orchard J.W. Wells & Co. Series The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages YouSpace Series Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug Novels Expecting Someone Taller Who's Afraid of Beowulf Flying Dutch Ye Gods! Overtime Here Comes the Sun Grailblazers Faust Among Equals Odds and Gods Djinn Rummy My Hero Paint your Dragon Open Sesame Wish you Were Here Alexander at World's End Only Human Snow White and the Seven Samurai Olympiad Valhalla Nothing But Blue Skies Falling SidewaysLittle PeopleSong for NeroMeadowlandBarkingBlonde BombshellThe Management Style of the Supreme BeingsAn Orc on the Wild Side
Fawlty Towers
by Graham MccannFawlty Towers was only on our screens for 12 half-hour episodes, but it has stayed in our lives ever since. The Major; 'Don't mention the war!'; 'He's from Barcelona'; Basil the Rat -- everyone has a favourite line, moment or character. In this, the first biography of the show, Graham McCann holds up to the light each of the unpredictable elements - the demented brilliance of John Cleese, his creative partnership with Connie Booth - that added up to an immortal sitcom, beloved all over the world, even in Barcelona.
The Fax of Life (Molly Masters Mystery #4)
by Leslie O'KaneViolets are blue. Roses are red. One of you bitches Will soon be dead. Those lines weren't quite what greeting-card entrepreneur Molly Masters had in mind when she encouraged her weekend workshop students to write a bit of verse, anonymously. Eerily, within hours, one of her aspiring writers is murdered, apparently without rhyme or reason. Or so Molly thinks until a storm and a blackout isolate the group in their mountain retreat. Katherine the professor, Nancy the shrink, Lois the doting mom, Julie the dog breeder, and Celia the big pest. Behind each one's suburban facade lurk passions unfit for family greeting cards, and a rage for life—and death. . . . Look for more entertaining books peopled by recognizable and off beat characters and often funny reads by Leslie O'Kane from her various series including from the Molly Masters Series #2 Just the Fax, #3 The Cold Hard Fax, #5 The School Board Murders, #6 When the Fax Lady Sings and #7 Death of a PTA Goddess.
Fear According to Savage Chickens (Udig Ser.)
by Doug SavageIt&’s not paranoia if they&’re really out to get you—or is that just something they put out there to make you feel better? Irrationality, meet the imagination. People are afraid of the strangest things, and chickens aren&’t any better off. Join Doug Savage and the cast of the Savage Chickens comics as they admit, combat, and hide from their deepest, darkest, and most absurd phobias in this e-book original collection.
Fear and Loathing in the New Normal Reich: Consent Factory Essays, Vol. IV (2022–2024)
by C. J. HopkinsA hilarious and horrifying journey into the dark heart of the ‟New Normal Reich.&” C. J. Hopkins&’s latest volume of Consent Factory Essays chronicles his Kafkaesque prosecution in Germany, the broader crackdown on dissent throughout the West, and other unsettling features of the ‟New Normal&”—the new pathologized form of totalitarianism that was rolled out during ‟the Covid Pandemic,&” which is radically transforming societies around the world. Charged by the German authorities with ‟disseminating pro-Nazi propaganda&” for tweeting the cover art of his bestselling book, The Rise of the New Normal Reich: Consent Factory Essays, Vol. III (2020–2021), Hopkins&’s absurdist adventures in the German legal system—where he was pronounced guilty without a trial, then acquitted, and then ‟unacquitted&”—make for harrowing and uproariously humorous reading. Prosecuted in criminal court, his book banned by Amazon, his tweets censored by Twitter, reported to Germany&’s Federal Criminal Police Office and the Bundesam für Verfassungsschutz, its domestic intelligence agency, his battle to defend his right to freedom of speech and artistic expression has become an international cause célèbre, receiving major media coverage in the USA, UK, Australia, and Switzerland, as well as Germany. Spanning the years 2022–2024, the essays in this volume also cover the crackdown on so-called ‟disinformation,&” ‟hate-speech,&” and other forms of wrongthink, the wars in the Middle East and Ukraine, the culture wars, the rise of the ‟Musk Cult,&” the return of Trump, and the rest of the aftermath of the ‟Covid Pandemic.&”
Fear of Falling #9
by Laurie AndersonDavid is determined to learn to jump on horseback if it kills him. And sometimes he's afraid it might, like when Comet balks and won't go over the crossbar. Now that David's father is back in town, he's promised to teach David how to jump like a champion. But David can't let him know how scared he is. Because there's one thing that scares David more than falling off a horse, and that's disappointing his father. Can he overcome his fear, or even talk about it?
Fearing Fate (A Series of Fates #3)
by C. C. DadoA Series of Fates: Book ThreeHe is a fearless protector by nature and in his heart. But nothing’s ever simple with love… or fate. At nearly seven feet tall, Zeus’s role had always been to protect the pack—but his newest charges need him more than most. Kimber and Kron are transplants from another pack, and they have a dangerous stranger on their tails. Zeus is determined to do his duty and drive the human out of town. But when he confronts Toren, his wolf has other ideas…. Something isn’t right, but should a huge, tattooed wolf with a secret soft heart fear his fate—to love a man with secrets of his own?
Fearless
by Robb ArmstrongRobb Armstrong is one of the lucky ones. One of a handful of African-American artists to have a comic strip nationally syndicated in more than 300 publications, he gets to draw for a living. He works at home, so he can spend more time with his wife and two kids. He travels around the country, teaching drawing and sharing stories about his life with young people. He’s even met his share of famous people, including his idol, Charles Schulz. But his life wasn’t always so charmed. Born and raised in a rough neighborhood in West Philadelphia, Robb was one of five fatherless kids living in a cramped apartment where the electric bill didn’t always get paid. When he was six, his older brother was killed in a gruesome subway accident. Soon after, his remaining brother was severely beaten by the police for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Then, his mother died of cancer. How did he get through all of these tragedies to the happy life? By drawing funnies. Life is not so different from the comics—the challenges, tragedies, and triumphs. Comics poke fun at our everyday routines and our universal motivations. They show us a lot about ourselves and the people around us. So as a cartoonist, Robb Armstrong has drawn a few lessons from life that he shares in this moving memoir. Weaving together his personal stories with simple drawing tutorials and original illustrations, Fearless is both a compelling read and an inspirational lesson on how to live well, through the good times and the bad.
Fearless Firemoose! (Rocky & Bullwinkle)
by Golden BooksKids ages 2 to 5 and collectors of all ages are sure to love this Rocky & Bullwinkle Little Golden Book reissue--out just in time for the release of DreamWorks Animation's Mr. Peabody & Sherman film, with characters also created by Jay Ward. This classic Little Golden Book captures the magic and humor of Jay Ward's original series and features all the hilarious characters. What will happen when Bullwinkle decides to become a firemoose? Tune in to this exciting Little Golden Book to find out! From the Hardcover edition.
The Feast
by Margaret Kennedy"Kennedy is not only a romantic but an anarchist." —Anita BrooknerSummer, 1947. A bizarre catastrophe rocks a seaside village in Cornwall when a cliff tumbles down on the Pendizack Manor Hotel. The hotel is obliterated, and seven guests are killed in the disaster. Everyone else makes a narrow escape. As the survivors tell their stories, the events of the previous week are revealed, and a parade of sins exposed. Gluttony, Lecherousness, Sloth, Pride, Covetousness, Envy and Wrath: all are in residence at Pendizack Manor, and as the day of the disaster creeps closer, it becomes clear that who&’s spared and who&’s lost might not be as arbitrary as first assumed. A modern upstairs-downstairs comedy with an old-fashioned morality play tucked away inside, The Feast is sly, kaleidoscopic, and utterly ingenious, a novel that only Margaret Kennedy could have written.
Feast
by Liz MarshamRead along with Disney! Boston terrier Winston was thrilled when he found an owner. He loved his friend. He loved his home. And he especially loved his food! His owner always shared his food—nachos, popcorn, bacon, you name it! But both of their lives take an unexpected turn when the owner's new girlfriend has a different, healthier food menu in mind. Taking place over many years, this storybook tells the story of one man's love life through the eyes of his dog and revealed through the many meals they share together. Enjoy this heartwarming tale featuring word-for-word narration and based on the Walt Disney Animation Studio short, debuting with Big Hero 6 in theaters!
Feast
by Disney PressThe story of one man's love life is seen through the eyes of his best friend and dog, Winston, and revealed bite by bite through the meals they share.
The Feast of Love
by Charles BaxterNational Book Award Finalist From "one of our most gifted writers" (Chicago Tribune), here is a superb new novel that delicately unearths the myriad manifestations of extraordinary love between ordinary people. The Feast of Love is just that -- a sumptuous work of fiction about the thing that most distracts and delights us. In a re-imagined Midsummer Night's Dream, men and women speak of and desire their ideal mates; parents seek out their lost children; adult children try to come to terms with their own parents and, in some cases, find new ones. In vignettes both comic and sexy, the owner of a coffee shop recalls the day his first wife seemed to achieve a moment of simple perfection, while she remembers the women's softball game during which she was stricken by the beauty of the shortstop. A young couple spends hours at the coffee shop fueling the idea of their fierce love. A professor of philosophy, stopping by for a cup of coffee, makes a valiant attempt to explain what he knows to be the inexplicable workings of the human heart Their voices resonate with each other -- disparate people joined by the meanderings of love -- and come together in a tapestry that depicts the most irresistible arena of life. Crafted with subtlety, grace, and power, The Feast of Love is a masterful novel."Supurb.... A near perfect book, as deep as it is broad in its humaneness, comedy and wisdom." -- The Washington Post Book World
Feast of the Innocents
by Evelio RoseroDoctor Justo Pastor Proceso López, adored by his female patients but despised by his wife and daughters, has a burning ambition: to prove to the world that the myth of Simón Bolívar, El Libertador, is a sham and a scandal. In Pasto, south Colombia, where the good doctor plies his trade, the Feast Day of the Holy Innocents is dawning. A day for pranks, jokes and soakings ... Water bombs, poisoned empanaditas, ground glass in the hog roast - anything goes. What better day to commission a float for The Black and White Carnival that will explode the myth of El Libertador once and for all? One that will lay bare the massacres, betrayals and countless deflowerings that history has forgotten. But in Colombia you question the founding fables at your peril. At the frenzied peak of the festivities, drunk on a river of arguardiente, Doctor Justo will discover that this year the joke might just be on him.
Feast of the Innocents
by Evelio RoseroDoctor Justo Pastor Proceso López, adored by his female patients but despised by his wife and daughters, has a burning ambition: to prove to the world that the myth of Simón Bolívar, El Libertador, is a sham and a scandal. In Pasto, south Colombia, where the good doctor plies his trade, the Feast Day of the Holy Innocents is dawning. A day for pranks, jokes and soakings ... Water bombs, poisoned empanaditas, ground glass in the hog roast - anything goes. What better day to commission a float for The Black and White Carnival that will explode the myth of El Libertador once and for all? One that will lay bare the massacres, betrayals and countless deflowerings that history has forgotten. But in Colombia you question the founding fables at your peril. At the frenzied peak of the festivities, drunk on a river of arguardiente, Doctor Justo will discover that this year the joke might just be on him.
The Feather Merchants: A Novel
by Max ShulmanThe raucous and randy adventures of a stateside soldier during World War II Sergeant Dan Miller wanted to be a flying ace, but the air force grounded him for poor vision. To make matters worse, when the myopic Miller travels home to Minneapolis on furlough, he finds the local &“feather merchants&”—aka civilians—breaking all the wartime rules. They&’re guzzling black-market gas, hoarding rationed food, and listening to suspiciously expensive radios. But the most troubling news of all arrives when Sergeant Dan&’s main squeeze, the voluptuous Estherlee McCracken, declares that she wants nothing to do with a pencil-pushing GI. The night after he gets dumped, Sergeant Dan seeks solace in watered-down whiskeys and a chorus line of ladies dancing in red, white, and blue G-strings. A friend introduces the sad-sack noncom as Robert Jordan, dynamiter of bridges, and before Sergeant Dan can stop that bell from tolling, he&’s the most celebrated man in town. What follows is a hysterical comedy of errors as our hero tries to outrun his patriotic admirers, win back Estherlee&’s love, and avoid a court martial.
Feathered & Fabulous: Wit and Wisdom from Glamorous Birds
by Alison ThrockmortonThis laugh-out-loud funny book features our fancy feathered friends living the life of the rich and famous.These fabulous birds have had enough and are ready to start living life—not just the way they want, but the way they deserve! Featuring various birds in their own Real Housewives scenarios, Feathered & Fabulous is the perfect blend of snark, sass, and medication.Adelaide is going to buy that exquisite fur coat, Faye is going to drop that idiot husband of hers, and Patrice is going to show off those legs because she's not afraid to flaunt it. Stunning, funny, and sarcastic, Feathered & Fabulous is sure to make everyone laugh.• UNIQUE, GLITZY, AND FUN: Just like your favorite Real Housewives or the beloved Kris Jenner, this book is unapologetic and fabulous. With sassy humor and a flashy cover, these birds are fresh, fashionable, and ready to tell the world.• HILARIOUS SHARE AND GIFT-BUY: Feathered & Fabulous is a perfect housewarming present, gag gift, stocking stuffer, or present for yourself, your martini-loving gal pal, your reality television buddies, or even the divorcee in your life.• BIRD HUMOR ON TREND: The internet is seeing an influx of bird humor—The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America has sold over 50,000 copies! People who love birds and people who love to hate birds will love Feathered & Fabulous.