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Fiction Ruined My Family
by Jeanne DarstAugusten Burroughs meets Mary Karr: a deeply funny and wickedly entertaining family memoir The youngest of four daughters in an old, celebrated St. Louis family of prominent journalists and politicians on one side, debutantes and equestrians on the other, Jeanne Darst grew up hearing stories of past grandeur. And the message she internalized as a young girl was clear: While things might be a bit tight for us right now, it’s only temporary. Soon her father would sell the Great American Novel and reclaim the family’s former glory. The Darsts uproot themselves and move from St. Louis to New York. Jeanne’s father writes one novel, and then another, which don’t find publishers. This, combined with her mother’s burgeoning alcoholism-nightly booze-fueled weepathons reminiscing about her fancy childhood-lead to financial disaster and divorce. And as Jeanne becomes an adult, she is horrified to discover that she is not only a drinker like her mother, but a writer like her father. At first, and for years, she embraces both activities-living in an apartment with no bathroom, stealing food from her babysitting gigs, and raising rent money by riding the subway topless and performing a one-woman show in her living room. Until gradually she realizes that this life has not been thrust on her in some handing-down-of-the-writing-mantle-way. She has chosen it; and until she can stop putting drinking and writing ahead of everything else, it’s a questionable choice. "For a long time I was worried about becoming my father,” she writes. "Then I was worried about becoming my mother. Now I was worried about becoming myself. ” Ultimately, Darst sets out to discover whether a person can have the writing without the ruin, whether it’s possible to be both sober and creative, ambitious and happy, a professional author and a parent. Filled with brilliantly flawed, idiosyncratic characters and punctuated by Darst’s irreverent eye for absurdity, Fiction Ruined My Family is a lovingly told, wickedly funny portrait of an unconventional life. .
The Fiddler in the Subway
by Gene WeingartenGENE WEINGARTEN IS THE O. HENRY OF AMERICAN JOURNALISM Simply the best storyteller around, Weingarten describes the world as you think it is before revealing how it actually is--in narratives that are by turns hilarious, heartwarming, and provocative, but always memorable. Millions of people know the title piece about violinist Joshua Bell, which originally began as a stunt: What would happen if you put a world-class musician outside a Washington, D.C., subway station to play for spare change? Would anyone even notice? The answer was no. Weingarten's story went viral, becoming a widely referenced lesson about life lived too quickly. Other classic stories--the one about "The Great Zucchini," a wildly popular but personally flawed children's entertainer; the search for the official "Armpit of America"; a profile of the typical American nonvoter--all of them reveal as much about their readers as they do their subjects.
The Fiddler Is a Good Woman
by Geoff BernerA biography that doesn’t quite exist, about a violinist who can’t be found, as told by people who don’t agree on much. Novelist Geoff Berner has been tasked with writing a biography of DD, a mysterious, charismatic, chimerical musician who has, it seems, dropped off the face of the earth. In the course of his search for DD, Berner interviews her friends, ex-bandmates, ex-lovers, and others. They paint such variable portraits of her that each successive attempt to describe her casts doubt on the previous testimony. As his project is taken over by the lively, infuriating, entertaining tales, a wounded, gifted, and complex DD starts to emerge from all the eyewitness accounts and swear-to-God true stories. Who is DD? Where did she go? And why didn’t that book get written? Travel through a world of knockabout musicians and chancers, on the trail of an inimitable artist who truly lives in the moment, for better or worse.
The Fidelity Project
by Susan ConleyFriendship, passion and fidelity - nothing's ever simple when it comes to loveJacinta Quirke and Maxine O'Malley, a.k.a. Jax and Max, need a plan, fast. They've just heard rumours that they are about to lose their jobs at advertising agency ACJ in Dublin. Could they make it in the (supposedly) more lucrative world of TV? Their proposal: a documentary on fidelity. Is long-term monogamy a sham as cynical Max believes? Or will Jax, the hopeless romantic, prove her wrong. Putting a variety of couples into the hot seat, they get the cameras rolling. But when they turn on each other's love-lives, the trouble really starts... Friendship, passion and fidelity - nothing's ever simple when it comes to love.
Fiebre De Marketing Influencer en Clubhouse: Claves Para Dominar La Nueva Red Social
by J. L. FehrLos influencers no son los únicos que están promocionándose en Clubhouse, la red social de audio. Y pese a su popularidad, muchos ni siquiera han oído de ella. Así que, ¿por qué deberías estar allí, y cuál es la mejor forma de aprovecharla? El espacio entre nuestras orejas es uno de los sitios más íntimos que podemos concederle a otras personas, y las voces pueden transmitir una vida entera de experiencias en un instante. El volumen, el registro, el tono, la dicción, y las palabras mismas; todos éstos elementos dejan impresiones indelebles. Clubhouse da lugar a las interacciones entre personas más profundas, cuando se la compara con el resto de las redes sociales. Y aún así, es preciso aprender a usar correctamente la app para convertirla en una poderosa y nóvel herramienta de comunicación. Este libro se escribió para ayudarte a aprender cómo usar esta plataforma, para que puedas promocionarte de la misma forma que lo hacen los influencers más notables.
The Field Day From the Black Lagoon (Black Lagoon Adventures #6)
by Mike ThalerField Day is one week away and everyone has to go. Crazy coach Kong is making up all the events! You might leap over lions, hop over hippos, skip through snakes, and tiptoe around tigers! Will it be a field day of dreams or a field day of screams?
The Field Day from the Black Lagoon (Black Lagoon Adventures #6)
by Mike ThalerThese fun-filled chapter books mix school, monsters, and common kid problems with hilarious results. You'll scream with laughter!The Field Day is one week away, and everyone has to go. But Hubie would rather go home! Crazy Coach Kong is making up all the events, like leaping over lions, hopping over hippos, skipping through snakes, and tiptoeing around tigers. Will it be a field day or dreams or a field day of screams?
The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America (Dumb Birds Ser.)
by null Matt KrachtNational bestselling book: Featured on Midwest, Mountain Plains, New Atlantic, Northern, Pacific Northwest and Southern Regional Indie Bestseller ListsPerfect book for the birder and anti-birder alikeA humorous look at 50 common North American dumb birds: For those who have a disdain for birds or bird lovers with a sense of humor, this snarky, illustrated handbook is equal parts profane, funny, and—let's face it—true.Featuring common North American birds, such as the White-Breasted Butt Nugget and the Goddamned Canada Goose (or White-Breasted Nuthatch and Canada Goose for the layperson), Matt Kracht identifies all the idiots in your backyard and details exactly why they suck with humorous, yet angry, ink drawings. With The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America, you won't need to wonder what all that racket is anymore!• Each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more.• The essential guide to all things wings with migratory maps, tips for birding, musings on the avian population, and the ethics of birdwatching.• Matt Kracht is an amateur birder, writer, and illustrator who enjoys creating books that celebrate the humor inherent in life's absurdities. Based in Seattle, he enjoys gazing out the window at the beautiful waters of Puget Sound and making fun of birds."There are loads of books out there for bird lovers, but until now, nothing for those that love to hate birds. The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America fills the void, packed with snarky illustrations that chastise the flying animals in a funny, profane way. " – UncrateA humorous animal book with 50 common North American birds for people who love birds and also those who love to hate birds• A perfect coffee table or bar top conversation-starting book• Makes a great Mother's Day, Father's Day, birthday, or retirement gift
The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of the Whole Stupid World (Dumb Birds Ser.)
by null Matt KrachtLet's face it—all birds are fascinating, wonderful, idiotic jerks—no matter where in the world they reside.Following in the footsteps of the bestselling book The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America, this hilarious sequel ventures beyond to identify the stupidest birds around the world. Featuring birds from North and South America, Africa, Asia, Europe, and Oceania, author Matt Kracht identifies the dumb birds that manage to live all over the freaking place with snarky, yet accurate, names and humorous, anger-filled drawings.This guide book details exactly how much these morons suck with facts about each bird's (annoying) call, its (stupid) migratory pattern, and its (downright tacky) markings. Complete with a matching game, bird descriptor checklist, tips on how to identify a bird (you can tell a lot by looking into a bird's eyes, for example), this profanity-laden book offers a balance of fact and wit that will appeal to hardcore birders and casual bird lovers (and haters) alike.A MUST-HAVE: A must-have sequel to the bestselling parody book The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America.UNIQUE & LAUGH-OUT-LOUD FUNNY: This is a great coffee table or bar top conversation-starting book. And a bonus, while the content is humorous, it is practical and useful!A GREAT PRESENT: This is the perfect gift for the bird lovers and haters in your life. It also makes a great Mother's Day, Father's Day, birthday, retirement, or gag gift.Perfect for:• Birdwatching and nature enthusiasts• Armchair birders (or nonbirders)• Someone who needs a quirky gift for an animal lover friend• People with serious birders in their lives who want something lighthearted
A Field Guide to Evangelicals & Their Habitat
by Joel KilpatrickThey're Going to Heaven . . . and They Know ItAt last, a complete, unsparing guide to evangelical Christians. This hilarious and highly useful manual, written by an insider, illuminates this rapidly growing and unique segment of America and offers a thoroughly entertaining, no-holds-barred, laugh-out-loud survey of evangelical culture. See inside for the scoop on:What Evangelicals Believe -- Plus a Master List of Who Is Going to HellHow to Party Like an Evangelical -- Ambrosia, Li'l Smokies, and Potluck FeverThe Diversity of Evangelical Politics -- From Right-Wing to WackoEvangelical Mating Habits -- The Shocking Truth
A Field Guide to Internet Boyfriends: Meme-Worthy Celebrity Crushes from A to Z
by Esther ZuckermanFrom Keanu Reeves and Idris Elba to Timothe Chalamet, A Field Guide to Internet Boyfriends is the ultimate celebration of the suave, sexy, sensitive, and silly celebrities who have captured our hearts and memes!Handsome and heartfelt, with winning smiles and pinnable Tweets -- this is what Internet Boyfriends are made of. But who are these meme-able men, and what makes them catch fire online? Discover the answers to these questions and more in A Field Guide to Internet Boyfriends, an interactive exploration of our collective crushes. Entertainment journalist Esther Zuckerman breaks down the world of Internet Boyfriends -- and even a few Internet Girlfriends -- from documentary-style "spotting guides" to discussions on the key categories of boyfriend, like Sensitive Souls, Beautiful Boys and Daddys. A playful, teen magazine-style quiz -- to help readers find their ideal crush -- and in-depth profiles of some of the most beloved Internet Boyfriends and Girlfriends, from Ryan Gosling (the original) to Harry Styles (the Gen Z icon) to Janelle Monae (the space queen), round out this fully-illustrated romp through the celebs behind the memes.
A Field Guide to Left-Wing Wackos
by Kfir Alfia Alan LiptonHere's everything you need to know about Anarchists, Peace Moms, Granolas, and many other types of left-wing wackos...so you can annoy them before they annoy you! Dreadlocks. Megaphones. The stench of patchouli oil and bad ideas. Who are these ridiculous characters clogging our streets and college campuses, protesting everything from "American imperialism" to genetically modified food to tax cuts? And how can an articulate, employed, sane person like yourself glean entertainment value from their antics? Kfir Alfia and Alan Lipton, the founders of ProtestWarrior, America's leading antiactivist organization, have spent years studying the eighteen distinct species of leftist protesters in our midst-everyone from Blacktivists to Hacktivists to Islamothugs. And in this hilarious guide, they will teach you: How to easily differentiate among similar species like Communists, Anarchists, and College Students. How to recognize the subtleties of the Performance Artist versus the Dylan Wannabe and the Acid Freak versus the Granola. How to confront, tease and taunt these wackos with witty comebacks, demolishing zingers, and infuriating facts. (Here's one: "War never solved anything ... except for slavery, fascism, Nazism and communism!") A Field Guide to Left Wing Wackos is the manual you want at your fingertips to defend yourself and the American Way-and have some fun while you're at it.
A Field Guide To Little-Known And Seldom-Seen Birds Of North America
by Cathryn Sill Ben SillA hilarious, feather-brained field guide parody—the perfect gift for your favorite birder! From the award-winning team of Cathryn, John, and Ben Sill."The funniest field guide you'll ever buy." ―BirdWatching Daily"Aficionados will find themselves squawking with laughter at the ingenuity and mock-seriousness of this engaging volume by three avid birders." ―Publishers WeeklyBirders and just about anyone who likes birds will delight in this satirical field guide from award-winning author and illustrator team Cathryn, John, and Ben Sill.Thirty-two fabulous fictitious species (Military Warbler? Great-toed Clapboard Pecker, anyone?) are depicted in this witty volume, which features tongue-in-cheek descriptions, observation hints, and range maps, as well as John Sill's remarkable full-color illustrations. A must-have for any bird watcher!Also available:Another Field Guide to Little-Known and Seldom-Seen Birds of North America
A Field Guide to Reality
by Joanna Kavenna'Smart, strange, coping with death through Light' Margaret Atwood'Extraordinary, wise, funny, adventurous' A. L. Kennedy'So utterly startling and inventive, it's almost an act of resistance' Miriam Toews'I couldn't put it down. A cult following seems certain' Literary Review'Refreshing as well as disconcerting to read a novel that sets aside convention so resolutely' Guardian'Opts to push the boundaries of what the novel is' Telegraph'A comic metaphysical thriller' Scotland on Sunday In this darkly ironic novel - a quest for truth, a satire, an elegy - Joanna Kavenna displays fearless originality and wit in confronting the strangeness of reality and how we contend with the death of those we love. Beautiful, ethereal drawings by Oly Ralfe illustrate this haunting journey through time, space and human understanding.
Field Guide to the Apocalypse: Movie Survival Skills for the End of the World
by Meg Marcothe end is near Surviving the apocalypse is one thing. Enjoying life after most of civilization is wiped out -- that's entirely different. Maybe you can outrun an avalanche, or escape a burning building, but can you really cut it after the unthinkable happens? Can you, for example, deal with damn dirty apes, convert your car to run on bathtub gin, or synthesize a species-saving vaccine from your own mucus? No? Obviously, it's not going to be as easy as you thought to come out of Armageddon as the new ruling king of the world. Any chump off the street could be lucky enough to have the immunity to survive the all-of-humanity-killing disease, or be the one dude who happens to make it through a meteor strike. But not everyone will know what clothes to wear to intimidate, or what kind of vehicle you want to be driving in the postapocalyptic wasteland. Not everyone will have the sense to discern whether their food is, in fact, people. You can survive the apocalypse without this book. But the apocalypse isn't the problem: It's what happens afterward. You against the other people left in the world. You'd better be prepared.
A Field Guide to the English Clergy: A Compendium of Diverse Eccentrics, Pirates, Prelates and Adventurers; All Anglican, Some Even Practising
by The Revd Butler-GallieA Book of the Year for The Times, Mail on Sunday and BBC History Magazine Judge not, lest ye be judged. This timeless wisdom has guided the Anglican Church for hundreds of years, fostering a certain tolerance of eccentricity among its members. Good thing, too. The &‘Mermaid of Morwenstow&’ excommunicated a cat for mousing on a Sunday. When he was late for a service, Bishop Lancelot Fleming commandeered a Navy helicopter. &‘Mad Jack&’ swapped his surplice for a leopard skin and insisted on being carried around in a coffin. And then there was the man who, like Noah&’s evil twin, tried to eat one of each of God&’s creatures… In spite of all this they saw the church as their true calling. After all, who cares if you're wearing red high heels when there are souls to be saved?
Field Guide to the Grumpasaurus
by Edward HemingwayHave you ever met a Grumpasaurus? I bet you have. In fact, you may even have one in your own home. Want to know what makes them tick? This handy guide, meticulously researched and lovingly illustrated, tells you everything you need to know. Above all they should be handled with care—otherwise they can become VERY loud and VERY fearsome. In this appealingly modern and clever picture book, a field guide format is applied to the study of the cranky child . . . er, rather, the GRUMPASAURUS . . . who, in spite of himself, will win your heart.
A Field Guide to the Jewish People: Who They Are, Where They Come From, What to Feed Them…and Much More. Maybe Too Much More
by Dave Barry Adam Mansbach Alan ZweibelA hilarious handbook from three big-deal award-winning humorists: “I laughed til I plotzed. Did I use that correctly?” —W. Kamau Bell, goyish comedianImmerse yourself in the essence of Jewish humor and culture with A Field Guide to the Jewish People, brought to you by New York Times–bestselling Pulitzer Prize winner Dave Barry, #1 New York Times–bestselling author Adam Mansbach, and Emmy and Thurber Prize–winning SNL alum Alan Zweibel.Join them as they dissect every holiday, rite of passage, and tradition, unravel a long and complicated history, and tackle the tough questions that have plagued Jews and non-Jews alike for centuries.Combining the sweetness of an apricot rugelach with the wisdom of a matzoh ball, this is the last book on Judaism that you will ever need. So gather up your chosen ones, open a bottle of Manischewitz, and get ready to enjoy some “bona fide gems” from the authors of For This We Left Egypt? (New York Journal of Books).“No topic is off-limits.” —Kirkus Reviews“Literally has a laugh-out-loud moment on every page, sometimes more than one.” —Bookreporter
Field Guide to Unicorns of North America: The Official Handbook for Unicorn Enthusiasts of All Ages
by Andy RobbinsBecome an expert on the various species of North American Unicornus thanks to this fun, funny, and fascinating field guide!From historical details to identification strategies, you&’ll soon be immersed in the world of unicorns that roam the wilds of North America thanks to the scientific, "fact-packed" handbook. Plus, you&’ll learn easy, step-by-step drawing techniques for when you&’re out in the wild searching for signs of unicorn presence. Along with unicorn history, popular tales, and scientific information, you&’ll be provided with in-depth details about the most popular species of North American unicorns, including: • American Unicorn • Hoary Unicorn • Spiked Bog Pony • Tropical Unicorn • And more! This field guide is perfect for any lover of these fantastic beasts, no matter if they believe unicorns to be fact or fiction!
The Field of Wacky Inventions (Floors #3)
by Patrick Carman<P>The final adventure in bestselling author Patrick Carman's delightfully wacky Floors trilogy! <P>Taking mystery and adventure to the next level. <P>It's not every day that a hotel loses its top floor. Then again, the Whippet Hotel is no stranger to wackiness. So when the entire floor is hoisted into the night sky by a nearly invisible airship, Leo and Remi know they're in for the ride of their lives. <P>But little do the boys know just how amazing their voyage will become. They are headed to the field of wacky inventions, where they will have to compete against a number of foes for an incredible prize. <P>It will take all of Leo and Remi's bravery, skill, and burping power to decode the outrageous puzzles hidden among the floors of Merganzer D. Whippet's newest and most peculiar construction. But they must -- because if they don't, they'll lose their beloved Whippet Hotel forever.
Field Trip (Dave the Unicorn #4)
by Pip BirdIn Dave the Unicorn: Field Trip, the fourth entry in the laugh-out-loud illustrated chapter book series from Pip Bird and David O'Connell, Mira and her unicorn Dave go on a field trip and discover they’re ready for the real world—but is it ready for them?Unicorn School is a magical place of quests, adventure, and fun. And field trips! Mira and her unicorn best friend, Dave, can’t wait to visit a bunch of adorable baby animals. But then Dave eats all of his food right away. And some other people’s food, too. Some of Mira’s friends take the field trip rules a little too seriously. And Mira becomes fixated on finding a super-rare, super-cute kitticorn. But does it even exist?This fourth book in the hilarious chapter book series continues the story of Mira and her unicorn Dave, who’s not the statuesque stallion you’d expect. But Dave has a few tricks up his sleeve that remind Mira—and all of us—that no matter where you go, home is where your friends are.Check out the other books in the Dave the Unicorn series!Dave the Unicorn: Welcome to Unicorn SchoolDave the Unicorn: Team SpiritDave the Unicorn: Dance PartyAn Imprint Book
Field Trip: A QUIX Book (Geeger the Robot)
by Jarrett LernerAmelia Bedelia meets James Patterson&’s House of Robots series in the adventures of Geeger in the sixth and final story in a fun-to-read Aladdin QUIX chapter book series that&’s perfect for emerging readers!Geeger the Robot and his class go on a field trip to the Amblerville History Museum, and he&’s surprised to see all the other incredible inventions that came before robots. But not every museumgoer thinks robots are amazing. Can Geeger change their minds?
Field Trip
by Jim Paulsen Gary PaulsenFather-and-son writing team Gary and Jim Paulsen pick up where their Road Trip left off. Ben has been invited to try out for a special hockey academy. But Dad wants Ben to catch up to the school field trip instead. So Ben, Dad, and their dogs, Atticus and Conor, jump into their truck. Ben concocts a secret plan to make the tryout, but Atticus and Conor are on to him. Ben and Dad's road trip turns into a wacky adventure full of new friends and surprises.
Field-Trip Fiasco (The Jitters Series #5)
by Julie DannebergSarah Jane Hartwell and her class are back. After the stress of her last attempt at taking her class on a field trip (seen in First Year Letters), Mrs. Hartwell has a plan for an upcoming trip to the zoo—a plan that includes a lot of rules. Her students prove that they can line up straight, walk quietly, and take plenty of notes, but everyone soon realizes that this field trip isn’t as much fun as they’d hoped. Mrs. Hartwell rethinks her plan and saves the day.
Field Trip to Niagara Falls: Field Trip To Niagara Falls (Geronimo Stilton #24)
by Geronimo StiltonEnter the world of Geronimo Stilton, where another funny adventure is always right around the corner. Each book is a fast-paced adventure with lively art and a unique format kids 7-10 will love.<P><p> Holey cheese, what an adventure! I was off to Niagara Falls with my nephew Benjamin's class. It was a beautiful place -- truly one of the most amazing sights I'd ever seen. But unfortunately, I was surrounded by mischievous young mouselets who were determined to send me over the Falls in a barrel! Oh, would I ever make it back to Mouse Island alive?<P> <i>Advisory: Bookshare has learned that this book offers only partial accessibility. We have kept it in the collection because it is useful for some of our members. To explore further access options with us, please contact us through the Book Quality link on the right sidebar. Benetech is actively working on projects to improve accessibility issues such as these. </i>