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Grasshopper Jungle
by Andrew Smith"Grasshopper Jungle is a rollicking tale that is simultaneously creepy and hilarious. It's propulsive plot would be delightful enough on its own, but Smith's ability to blend teenage drama into a bug invasion is a literary joy to behold... Smith may have intended this novel for young adults, but his technique reminds me of Kurt Vonnegut's in "Slaughterhouse Five," in the best sense." --New York Times Book Review In the small town of Ealing, Iowa, Austin and his best friend, Robby, have accidentally unleashed an unstoppable army. An army of horny, hungry, six-foot-tall praying mantises that only want to do two things. This is the truth. This is history. It's the end of the world. And nobody knows anything about it. You know what I mean. Funny, intense, complex, and brave, Grasshopper Jungle brilliantly weaves together everything from testicle-dissolving genetically modified corn to the struggles of recession-era, small-town America in this groundbreaking coming-of-age stunner.
Grasshopper Magic
by Lynne Jonell Brandon DormanChicken? Abner is not a chicken, no matter what his brother Derek says. But when it comes to giving a speech in front of the whole town, Abner is . . . well . . . he's more than a little nervous. Then his sister Tate has an idea--bravery lessons. And the first one? Eat a roasted grasshopper. But Abner forgot something important. There's magic in the ground under his family's house and grasshoppers hatch from eggs laid in the ground. So what, exactly, would happen if a kid ate a grasshopper that had been soaking up magic all year long? BOING! Lynne Jonell follows up her Minnesota Book Award finalist, Texas Bluebonnet Master List choice, and Junior Library Guild selection Hamster Magic with a third story of the Willow family's rowdy run-ins with mixed-up magic.
Grasshopper Pie and Other Poems (Penguin Young Readers, Level 3)
by D.J. SteinbergMeet upside-down Billy Ray Brown, the Tickle Monster, and a boy who makes grasshopper pie(with hilarious results!) in this wonderful celebration of what it means to be a kid.
The Grasshopper Trap
by Patrick F. McManusPatrick F. McManus, the “funniest guy in the Outdoor Life and Field & Stream gang…offers another bag of whimsy in the Great Outdoors”* with The Grasshopper Trap. In this collection of thirty zany stories, spoofing camping, fishing, and other outdoor recreational activities, McManus shares his hilarious wilderness misadventures. From facing an angry bear with an unloaded gun and the folly of running a boat while it’s still on the trailer to not questioning the ingredients found in camp cookout cuisine and the best methods of catching grasshoppers, no one knows how to express Mother Nature’s sense of humor like Patrick F. McManus. “It’s enough to tickle the most rabid member of the National Rifle Association.”—*Kirkus Reviews
Grave Danger (Confessions of a Dork Lord #2)
by Mike JohnstonThis hilarious, illustrated middle-grade sequel, combining the humor of Diary of a Wimpy Kid with the action of The Last Kids on Earth, follows a hapless warlock-in-training as he struggles to live up to his great and terrible destiny.Remember Wick? Son of the Dark Lord, heir to the throne of black and broken glass, and next in line to be the leader of the Grim World? Well, after a major spell gone wrong, he finds himself kicked out of his own castle and shipped off as an exchange student. As if Middle Ages School wasn't hard enough already! Follow Wick through the pages of his journal as he comes up with a genius plan to defeat his foes, achieve greatness . . . and maybe even make a new friend in the process.
Grave Expectations
by Sherri Browning Erwin Charles DickensHeaven knows, we need never be ashamed of our wolfish cravings. . . . Bristly, sensitive, and meat-hungry Pip is a robust young whelp, an orphan born under a full moon. Between hunting escaped convicts alongside zombified soldiers, trying not to become one of the hunted himself, and hiding his hairy hands from the supernaturally beautiful and haughty Estella, whose devilish moods keep him chomping at the bit, Pip is sure he will die penniless or a convict like the rest of his commonly uncommon kind. But then a mysterious benefactor sends him to London for the finest werewolf education money can buy. In the company of other furry young gentlemen, Pip tempers his violent transformations and devours the secrets of his dark world. When he discovers that his beloved Estella is a slayer of supernatural creatures, trained by the corpse-like vampire Miss Havisham, Pip's desire for her grows stronger than his midnight hunger for rare fresh beef. But can he risk his hide for a truth that will make Estella his forever--or will she drive one last silver stake through his heart?
Grave Humor: Funny, Ironic, and Ridiculous Tombstones
by Editors of Family Tree MagazinePeople act like being dead is so serious. But if you've spent any time in a cemetery, you know a lot of those dearly departed have to be rolling over in their graves–with laughter. This collection of ironic, comic and just plain ridiculous tombstones proves that it's possible to have a sense of humor about kicking the bucket. Just be careful you don't laugh yourself to death.
Grave Stones (The Falconer Files #9)
by Andrea FrazerGrave Stones is the ninth instalment of Andrea Frazer?s Falconer Files, a detective series chock-full of picture-postcard villages, dastardly deeds, and a delightful slice of humour.The residents of Shepford St Bernard are to have a party in the church hall, in response to a request to boost congregation numbers???only their new vicar is a woman, and a young one to boot, which is not to everyone's liking??The morning after the party, the extent of the brooding resentment felt in the small community is revealed when an elderly woman is found dead outside her house, the contents of her safe having disappeared along with her attacker.?When Detective Inspector Harry Falconer, Detective Sergeant Carmichael, and Detective Constable Roberts arrive on the scene, they learn that the late Lettice Keighley-Armstrong?s safe had recently held a large quantity of very valuable pieces of jewellery??As the investigation progresses, with efforts made to find out just who might have been tempted enough to commit such a crime, the violence escalates???making it urgent that the offender is quickly apprehended??
Grave Stones (The\falconer Files Ser. #9)
by Andrea FrazerGrave Stones is the ninth instalment of Andrea Frazer?s Falconer Files, a detective series chock-full of picture-postcard villages, dastardly deeds, and a delightful slice of humour.The residents of Shepford St Bernard are to have a party in the church hall, in response to a request to boost congregation numbers???only their new vicar is a woman, and a young one to boot, which is not to everyone's liking??The morning after the party, the extent of the brooding resentment felt in the small community is revealed when an elderly woman is found dead outside her house, the contents of her safe having disappeared along with her attacker.?When Detective Inspector Harry Falconer, Detective Sergeant Carmichael, and Detective Constable Roberts arrive on the scene, they learn that the late Lettice Keighley-Armstrong?s safe had recently held a large quantity of very valuable pieces of jewellery??As the investigation progresses, with efforts made to find out just who might have been tempted enough to commit such a crime, the violence escalates???making it urgent that the offender is quickly apprehended??
The Graves Family Goes Camping
by Patricia PolaccoWhen the Graves family goes on their annual camping trip to Lake Bleakmire, they make a frightening discovery in the forest.
Gravity and Lies: Gravity & Lies (Static over Space)
by Cg VolarsMost cosmopolitan city in the universe, and a guy can't even get a freakin' sandwich.It should be the least of Izo's concerns. Afterall, he's already been kidnapped by aliens and dragged halfway across the galaxy so they can make a buck off his abilities. And sure, he knew being able to fly made him a little unique. But he had no idea the cult-like—yet strangely marginalized—reputation Avarians held beyond Earth's boundaries. As he arrives on the Imperial Capital, IA, he's got one choice: cooperate with his captors so they'll get him back home, or split and head out on his own, taking his best shot at returning to Earth—a planet no one's ever heard of.It isn't much of a choice. Being extorted by a mean reptile, a tele-empathic linguist, and a giant teddy bear who could crush a car seems as bad as it gets—until a powerful CEO-Senator appears from deep within the IA's darkest corners. With things changing from annoying to alarming, it's up to Izo to navigate a dangerous game of befriend and befraud, or be trapped on the wrong side of the universe forever—several million lightyears from the nearest deli.
Gravity Is Bringing Me Down
by Wendelin Van DraanenGravity becomes a very personal problem for a girl as she stumbles and tumbles through a long day. A hilarious look at a core science concept for any kid who has ever had a case of the clumsies!When Leda wakes up by falling out of bed, she knows that gravity is in a very bad mood. Again.Sure enough, she struggles with stumbles and bumbles at home, trips and blips on the bus, and bashes and crashes in the classroom. But a lesson on gravity helps her understand what&’s really going on. And after a visit to a science center, Leda's mood is lifted...just in time for her to tumble-- happily!--into bed.With a very funny text from award-winner Wendelin Van Draanen and bright, bouncy illustrations from Cornelia Lia, Gravity is Bringing Me Down makes it hilariously clear how this science concept impacts kids' lives every day.
Gravity Is the Thing: A Novel
by Jaclyn MoriartyOne of Real Simple’s Best Books of the Year“I loved this book. . . . Funny, heartbreaking and clever with a mystery at its heart.” —Jojo Moyes“With an eye as keen for human idiosyncrasies as Miranda July’s, and a sense of humor as bright and surprising as Maria Semple’s, this is a novel of pure velocity.” —Publishers Weekly (starred review)Twenty years ago, Abigail Sorenson’s brother Robert went missing one day before her sixteenth birthday, never to be seen again. That same year, she began receiving scattered chapters in the mail of a self-help manual, the Guidebook, whose anonymous author promised to make her life soar to heights beyond her wildest dreams.The Guidebook’s missives have remained a constant in Abi’s life—a befuddling yet oddly comforting voice through her family’s grief over her brother’s disappearance, a move across continents, the devastating dissolution of her marriage, and the new beginning as a single mother and café owner in Sydney.Now, two decades after receiving those first pages, Abi is invited to an all-expenses paid weekend retreat to learn “the truth” about the Guidebook. It’s an opportunity too intriguing to refuse. If Everything is Connected, then surely the twin mysteries of the Guidebook and a missing brother must be linked?What follows is completely the opposite of what Abi expected––but it will lead her on a journey of discovery that will change her life––and enchant readers. Gravity Is the Thing is a smart, unusual, wickedly funny novel about the search for happiness that will break your heart into a million pieces and put it back together, bigger and better than before.
Gray's Anatomy
by Spalding GrayIn middle age Spalding Gray has entered "the Bermuda Triangle of Health," that place where the body begins to break down in alarming and humiliating ways. His immediate problem is an eye complaint that could be corrected with minor surgery. But for the high priest of high anxiety, nothing is ever minor. And so Gray embarks on a crazed crusade for wellness that takes him from a Native American sweat lodge to a dictatorial nutritionist and, finally, to a gory session with the "Elvis Presley of psychic surgeons" in the Far East. Exquisitely timed, unfettered in its intelligence, and funny enough to push readers to the brink of cardiac arrest, Gray's Anatomy is a surreal tour de force of body and soul.
Grease: The Director's Notebook
by Randal KleiserComprehensive and beautifully designed, Grease: The Director's Notebook also includes all new exclusive interviews with the key cast members and crew, including Olivia Newton-John, John Travolta, and Stockard Channing, original script pages, call sheets, conceptual images, and more.Grease is the word . . . Released more than four decades ago, the film version of Grease is one of the highest-grossing musicals of all time and a bona fide global sensation with legions of devoted fans across generations. For the first time ever, the film’s director, Randal Kleiser, looks back at the making of this legendary cultural landmark.Created in conjunction with Paramount Pictures and authorized by Jim Jacobs and Warren Casey (via his Estate), the creators of the original musical stage play, Grease: The Director’s Notebook features rare and never-before-seen imagery from the studio’s archives, as well as Kleiser's production notes, dialogue changes, and more. The book’s heart is Kleiser’s own heavily annotated shooting script, along with his storyboards and sketches—including lines from the play that were added to the film’s script.Grease: The Director’s Notebook is a fitting tribute to this revered international phenomenon and the one book the movie’s adoring fans will want.TM & © 2019 Paramount Pictures. All Rights Reserved.TM & © 2019 James H. Jacobs Trust and Trust Under The Will of Warren Casey. All Rights Reserved.
The Great American Attraction
by Rich SmithThe author of "You Can Get Arrested for That" takes another look at America and its amazing inhabitants by crashing the weirdest parties in the U. S. 20 bw photos throughout.
Great American Humor: 1000 Funny Jokes, Clever One-Liners & Witty Sayings (Little Book. Big Idea.)
by Gerd De LeyMark Twain wrote: "Humor is mankind's greatest blessing." Consider yourself blessed a thousand-fold with the new compilation Great American Humor by Gerd de Ley. Great American Humor collects 1000 wise and witty jokes, clever sayings and smart one-liners from well-known American humorists, actors, comedians, politicians, and personalities into a terrific volume guaranteed to generate laughs. Great American Humor features quips and quotes from well-known figures such as Mark Twain, Steve Martin, Bette Midler, Milton Berle, Ellen DeGeneres, Rodney Dangerfield, Robin Williams, Mae West, Mitch Hedberg, Joan Rivers, George Carlin, and the list goes on. Carefully researched and culled for maximum guffaws, Great American Humor captures the unique spirit of American wit and features more than enough jokes, puns and riddles to have everyone laughing.
The Great American Novel (Vintage International)
by Philip RothGil Gamesh, the only pitcher who ever literally tried to kill the umpire. The ex-con first baseman, John Baal, "The Babe Ruth of the Big House," who never hit a home run sober. If you've never heard of them—or of the Ruppert Mundys, the only homeless big-league ball team in American history—it's because of the Communist plot, and the capitalist scandal, that expunged the entire Patriot League from baseball memory.In this ribald, richly imagined, and wickedly satiric novel, Roth turns baseball's status as national pastime and myth into an occasion for unfettered picaresque farce, replete with heroism and perfidy, ebullient wordplay and a cast of characters that includes the House Un-American Activities Committee.
The Great American Novel: Kora In Hell / Spring And All / The Descent Of Winter / The Great American Novel / A Novelette And Other Prose (Mint Editions--literary Criticism And Writing Technique Ser.)
by William Carlos WilliamsThis 1923 novel by the Pulitzer Prize–winning poet and author of Paterson satirizes American colonization, creative ambition, and the novel form itself. One of the greatest American writers of the twentieth century, William Carlos Williams was an avid experimentalist in prose as well as poetry. Concerned about the state of the American novel, a form he felt was stunted by traditional tropes and genres, he set out to both parody and reject the prevailing clichés of fiction. The result of this audacious project was The Great American Novel, which tells the story of a Ford car in love with a Mack truck. A hilarious satire of Americanism and a brilliant example of literary invention, Williams&’s short novel set a precedent for American postmodern literature and metafiction.
Great American Wit: The Classic Humor of the Algonquin Round Table
by Robert E. Drennan Heywood Hale BrounThe perfect gift for the snarky literature fan in your life! “Stop looking at the world through rose-colored bifocals.” “His mind is so open, the wind whistles through it.” “You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.” Ever wonder where these sayings came from? For decades, the dining room of New York’s legendary Algonquin Hotel was a hub of letters and humor. Cocktails swirled as writers, humorists, actors, and critics poked fun at culture, the arts, and one another. In this lively tribute, today’s readers will come to understand why Robert Benchley, George S. Kaufman, and Dorothy Parker represent the epitome of quips and comebacks—wit that still packs a punch decades later. Each chapter contains:A short biographical sketch A photo of the great American wit Handpicked collection of quotes and anecdotes Packaged in a contemporary cover, this is the perfect gift or coffee table book. Discover the sarcasm, double entendres, insults, and jabs that earned these sharp minds the collective title of “the Vicious Circle.”
Great Australian Urban Legends
by Eamon EvansSatanists in Perth. Panthers in Sydney. Inner Melbourne's secret morgue. Australia is stuffed full of stories that need to be taken with a big spoon of salt. Stories that we all know are silly, but that we also just can't help sharing. In Great Australian Urban Legends, Eamon Evans presents you with myths, misconceptions and bare-faced lies about real people and real places down under. These pages libel Captain Cook and slander Phar Lap. They will annoy the Wiggles and David Boon. They will reveal whether Harold Holt really died, if the bunyip ever lived, and which famous Australian now gets by as a ghost.
Great Bales of Fire: More Tales of a Country Fireman
by Malcolm CastleMore tales of a country fireman, from the author of ALL FIRED UP. Perfect for fans of Heartbeat or Last of the Summer Wine.It's the early 1980s and rookie fireman Malcolm Castle is set to take on the biggest challenge of his life. After three years bouncing around in the back of the country fire-engine, he's about to start driving it! At just 22-years-old - less than half the age of many of his colleagues - he's set to thunder through the narrow streets of one of England's most beautiful medieval towns and speed out across the glorious Shropshire countryside. But while his responsibilities are changing fast, almost everything else in Malcolm's life stays the same. Despite facing his fair share of car accidents, house and farm fires, he still seems to spend an awful lot of time answering a string of unlikely and unexpected emergency calls. He rescues shortsighted dogs from frozen lakes, newborn lambs from flooded golf-courses, a pair of angry cows from a busy dual carriageway - and even a hot-footed hamster from a burning cage. Backed up by a heartwarming cast of fellow firemen, Malcolm's enthusiasm for his job and his life are as infectious as ever. So whether it is cats up trees or trees on cars, follow Malcolm as he takes to the wheel for another crazy year in the country fire brigade.Told with the same gentle humour as his first book, ALL FIRED UP, and full of even more extraordinary real-life anecdotes, Shropshire's longest-serving fireman is back - a little older, a little wiser, and even more convinced he has the best job in the world.
The Great Big Poop Party
by Samantha BergerThe Great Big Poop Party is writer Samantha Berger and illustrator Manny Galán's hilarious picture book about a little boy who wants a special theme for his birthday party—and the poop-centric silliness that ensues.Julian's birthday is fast approaching. For his party, his parents promise he can have any theme he wants. Maybe superheroes or skateboards? Dinosaurs or dogs? But Julian has another idea.He wants a poop party.With his family's help, Julian throws the biggest, brownest, most creative poop party ever!
The Great Book of Mobile Talk: You Like Mashed Potato, Don’t you?
by Andrew BarrowOverheard mobile pronouncements are a modern phenomenon. In the street, in the park, in supermarkets, buses, waiting rooms and even, heaven help us, in libraries, it’s quite impossible to get away from these tasty or repellent fragments of other people’s private lives. Wherever you lurk, their outbursts of despair or irritation ring out: mega-tantrums, in-jokes, celebrity spottings, instant post-mortems, office politics, whoops of joy and anger, weather reports, devilishly dull domestic details, parental problems, health issues, holiday plans, money matters, dinner menus, ultimatums, gossip, sporting news, amorous overtures, business deals – and any number of time-wasting pleasantries.From the stunningly mundane to the shockingly direct, the sublime to the ridiculous, here is a brilliantly curated collection of overheard mobile conversational gems.
The Great Brain
by John D. FitzgeraldTom is going away from home for the first time to the academy in Salt Lake city. But Tom has a "great brain" and this book details his adventures as he schemes and cons his way through school.