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Hitched to the Horseman (Men of the West #13)
by Stella BagwellGabe Trevino came to the family-owned Sandbur Ranch to train horses, not fall for the boss's daughter. The sultry ranching heiress could ride and rope as well as any man. She was also hiding something, tempting Gabe to solve the enigma that was beautiful, vulnerable Mercedes Saddler.Mercedes knew better than to trust the handsome cowboy. She'd come home to Texas to start over on the ranch she loved. And Sandbur's new head horse trainer was a man who could break her heart as easily as he could break a foal. But Gabe called to something deep within her, making her yearn to heal the past and build a future with this lonesome, wary-of-love loner....
Hitler Saved My Life: WARNING—This book makes jokes about the Third Reich, the Reign of Terror, World War I, cancer, Millard Fillmore, Chernobyl, and features a full-frontal nude photograph of an unattractive man.
by Jim RiswoldWhen advertising legend Jim Riswold is stricken with leukemia and prostate cancer, he quits the business that made him famous to become a “fake artist,” creating a controversial body of work with a controversial cast of characters, from Hitler to Mao to Kim Jong-Il. It was a decision that would save his life.Advertising legend Jim Riswold is a Big F****** Deal. Ask him, he’ll tell you. But when Riswold is stricken with leukemia and prostate cancer (a two-fer!), the freewheeling adman quits making commercials, and starts making art. But not just any art—Hitler art. Mussolini art. Stalin-in-a-bathtub art. This is not a sad cancer story. This is a molotov cocktail of raunch and heart and 18-gauge biopsy guns. This is a taboo-busting laugh riot, a raspberry blown straight at dying-guy preciousness and monsters of all kinds—cancer and world-historical bad guys included. Be warned—contents of this book include: One profanity-spiked TEDx talk. Several very public, full-frontal dick picks. Two adorable children. Something called “Interferon Family Fun Night.” Jim Riswold leading a crowd of people in a rousing rendition of “Happy Birthday” to his oncologist. Relentlessly funny, and scorchingly subversive, this is a bruised and bruising memoir—it is also tubed, scarred, stapled, and irradiated. But here’s the secret: Jim Riswold, enfant terrible, the man Charles Barkley once called “a role model for morons,” is kind of a sweetheart. The wise-guy posturing is just a cover for his pulpy heart. Another secret: This book isn’t about Hitler. It’s about the beautiful, stupid, gross, foolish, and fantastic things we’re willing to do for love and family and not-dying. It’s about a guy who, with due respect to Lou Gehrig, considers himself the luckiest man on the face of the earth. Really, Jim Riswold owes cancer a thank-you. Thanks to cancer, his tombstone will no longer read: Here Lies That Guy Who Did That “Bo Knows” Commercial. Now, it will say Here Lies the Guy Who Put Cancer in Its Place—and Mussolini on a Tricycle.
Hitman Anders and the Meaning of It All
by Rachel Willson-Broyles Jonas JonassonFrom the author of the international bestseller The 100-Year-Old-Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared, a brilliant satirical novel set in modern Sweden—a story of idealism and fanaticism, gangsters and entrepreneurs, sensationalism and spirituality, that explores the values that matter in contemporary life.In a former brothel turned low-rent hotel, the lives of three unusual strangers—a former female priest, recently fired from her church; the ruined grandson of an ex-millionaire working as a receptionist; and Killer-Anders, a murderer newly released from prison—accidently collide with darkly hilarious results.Seeing a lucrative opportunity in Killer-Anders, the unlikely trio form an unusual new business. The Priest and The Receptionist will handle strategy and public relations, and coordinate Killer-Anders’ “missions.” Using the media’s obsessive need for sensational, headline-making stories to advertise their talent’s superb “skill,” they quickly build a clientele of rich Swedish gangsters. Suddenly, they’re making an altogether different kind of killing of their own.But when Killer-Anders begins asking deeper questions about purpose and meaning, his curiosity leads him to an unexpected discovery: he finds Jesus. Desperate to save the money machine they’ve built, The Priest and The Receptionist devise an audacious plan utilizing Killer-Anders’ newfound and decidedly fervent faith.Mischievous yet big-hearted, filled with Jonas Jonasson’s trenchant humor and delightful twists, Hitman Anders and the Meaning of It All is a delightful comic adventure that reminds us it’s never to late to start over—and to discover what truly matters.
Hits and Misses: Stories
by Simon RichA hilarious collection inspired by a former Saturday Night Live writer's real experiences in Hollywood, chronicling the absurdity of fame and the humanity of failure in a world dominated by social media influencers and reality TV stars.Simon Rich is "one of the funniest writers in America" (Daily Beast)--a humorist who draws comparisons to Douglas Adams (New York Times Book Review) and James Thurber and P.G. Wodehouse (The Guardian). With Hits and Misses, he's back with a hilarious new collection of stories about dreaming big and falling flat, about ordinary people desperate for stardom and the stars who are bored by having it all.Inspired by Rich's real experiences in Hollywood, Hits and Misses chronicles all the absurdity of fame and success alongside the heartbreaking humanity of failure. From a bitter tell-all by the horse Paul Revere rode to greatness to a gushing magazine profile of everyone's favorite World War II dictator, these stories roam across time and space to skewer our obsession with making it big--from the days of ancient Babylon to the age of TMZ.
Hitting the Jackpot: A brilliantly funny comedy perfect for fans of Nick Hornby
by Tom AlanHis wife is leaving him. He&’s just won the lottery. Does she really need to know? A hilarious debut novel of love, luck, and hard-to-keep secrets . . . A thirty-something English teacher and amateur linguist, Jack just about makes ends meet—as does his Aussie fitness-instructor, soon-to-be ex-wife. She&’s finally run out of patience with Jack. What she doesn&’t know is that Jack has hit the jackpot: well over two million pounds in lottery winnings. Swearing his brother to secrecy, Jack figures this unexpected fortune will go a long way toward cushioning the blow of his divorce. But keeping his win a secret from his wife proves to be a harder task than Jack first imagines, especially as she knows his favourite numbers, so is convinced that he has won and is deliberately trying to cut her out. Jack&’s problems deepen when his shiny new BMW is hit by another car—driven by the shaken and disheveled but gorgeous Milly . . .
Hobbled
by John InmanThanks to fate and his own lack of good sense, eighteen-year-old Danny Shay is headed into what looks to be the worst summer of his life. It starts with a minor meltdown at work that leaves Danny under house arrest with a cast on one leg and an ankle monitor on the other, courtesy of the San Diego Police Department. On top of that, he's battling a chronic case of virginity, with no relief in sight. Oh, and there's one more little glitch. A serial killer is stalking the city, murdering young men. And when strange sounds are heard in the house behind Danny's, the neighborhood kids think they've found the killer. But not until Danny learns he's next on the madman's list do things really begin to get desperate. Damn! And Danny had plans to come out this summer--maybe even get laid! He doesn't have time for ankle monitors and serial killers! Then ginger-haired Luke Jamison moves in next door. Not only does Luke solve a few of Danny's more urgent problems, he also manages to create a couple more that Danny never saw coming. Gee. If he can survive it, this summer might not be so bad after all.
Hockey Girl Loves Drama Boy
by Faith Erin HicksNew York Times bestseller Faith Erin Hicks is back with Hockey Girl Loves Drama Boy, a young adult graphic novel romance about a hotheaded hockey player who asks for temper management lessons from the cool, calm boy in drama club.It should have been a night of triumph for Alix’s hockey team. But her mean teammate Lindsay decided to start up with her usual rude comments and today Alix, who usually tries to control her anger, let it finally run free. Alix lashes out and before she knows it, her coach is dragging her off Lindsay, and the invitation to the Canada National Women’s U18 Team’s summer camp is on the line. She needs to learn how to control this anger, and she is sure Ezra, the popular and poised theater kid from her grade is the answer. So she asks for his help. But as they hang out and start get closer, Alix learns that there is more to Ezra than the cool front he puts on. And that maybe this friendship could become something more....
Hockey Moms
by Anthony Jenkins Julie BertuzziJulie Bertuzzi, the wife of NHL player Todd Bertuzzi and Hockey Mom extraordinaire, presents us with twenty hilarious portraits of the Hockey Moms we know and love. The perfect gift book for all seasons. Straight-shooting, observant, and uproarious, Julie Bertuzzi's Hockey Moms is an irreverent look at the many kinds of moms you are sure to find in the ice rinks, on the road, and in the hotel bars at tournaments across this hockey-loving continent. While always applauding the dedication of moms who support their players -- at early morning practices and on long drives to and from tournaments, in the triumph of a big win and the heartache of a big loss -- Bertuzzi pokes fun at herself and her fellow Hockey Moms, and brings alive the many characters she has observed during her years of experience as a Hockey Mom herself. Whether it's Big Mouth Betty shrieking from the stands, the Drama Queen stirring up trouble in the bar after a tournament game, Team Manager Mom with her clipboard and team jacket, the Yodeler, or the Leaner, readers will recognize and delight in these familiar profiles. This is a quick, funny read and a must-have book for Hockey Moms, and those who love them, everywhere.
Hockey Rants and Raves
by Steve "Dangle" GlynnThe hottest takes and biggest beefs about hockey from the wildly popular podcaster and YouTuber Who would be on the Mount Rushmore of goalies?Is Gretzky the Greatest Player of All Time (a.k.a. GOATzky)?What are the most embarrassing Leaf losses of all time?Why would you choose to play in a small market?Steve “Dangle” Glynn was already a popular talking head on Sportsnet the night the Leafs lost to their own back-up goalie (and Zamboni driver), but his fandom skyrocketed after his rant following the hilarious mishap gained one million views on YouTube. Dangle is well known as a long-suffering Leafs fan, but he is more than just that. He shares his rants and opinions about all teams across the NHL, directing his laser focus onto hockey’s greatest arguments, from the best players of all time, to the worst trades, to the most embarrassing Leafs losses. From one of the most unique voices in hockey, Hockey Rants and Raves is packed with passionate, honest and often humorous takes on all things hockey—required reading for all fans of the game.
Hockey Superstitions
by Andrew PodnieksOne of North America's best-known hockey writers examines the strangest rituals and superstitions within the NHL.Why did Wayne Gretzky start every pre-game warm-up by shooting wide to the right of the net (a rather funny habit, given that he scored more goals than anyone in the game's history)? Why do many hockey players seem to believe performance is tied directly to facial hair? Why does Geoff Sanderson use a different length stick for every period? And why did Petr Klima break his stick after every goal he scored? Hockey Superstitions, by one of Canada's best-known hockey writers, Andrew Podnieks, explores the fascinating and fun world of hockey superstitions: their origins, their quirks, and the mythology around them. Along the way, it gives us an original look into the minds of the players and coaches behind them.From the Trade Paperback edition.
Hocus Pocus and the All-New Sequel
by Matt Griffin A. W. JanthaHocus Pocus is beloved by Halloween enthusiasts all over the world. Diving once more into the world of witches, this New York Times bestselling two-part young adult novel, released on the twenty-fifth anniversary of the 1993 film, marks a new era of Hocus Pocus. Fans will be spellbound by a fresh retelling of the original film, followed by the all-new sequel that continues the story with the next generation of Salem teens. <P><P>Shortly after moving from California to Salem, Massachusetts, Max Dennison finds himself in hot water when he accidentally releases a coven of witches, the Sanderson sisters, from the afterlife. Max, his sister, and his new friends (human and otherwise) must find a way to stop the witches from carrying out their evil plan and remaining on earth to torment Salem for all eternity. <P><P>Twenty-five years later, Max and Allison's seventeen-year-old daughter, Poppy, finds herself face-to-face with the Sanderson sisters in all their sinister glory. When Halloween celebrations don't quite go as planned, it's a race against time as Poppy and her friends fight to save her family and all of Salem from the witches' latest vile scheme.
Hocus Pocus! (The Secret WOrld of Alex Mack #19)
by Joseph LockeMagic store owners have made all of Ray Alvarado's money disappear. His best friend, Alex Mack, is about to teach these crooks a lesson in real magic.
Hocus Pocus: The Illustrated Novelization
by A. W. JanthaRelive the classic Halloween film Hocus Pocus with an Illustrated Novelization that retells the story alongside stunning original artwork from Gris Grimly! For the first time, fans and readers of all ages can enjoy the full story of the immensely popular Hocus Pocus with this deluxe Illustrated Novelization that will show fans the likes of Max and Dani Dennison, the Sanderson Sisters, Thackery Binx the cat, and other iconic characters as only celebrated, renowned artist Gris Grimly can: in all of their darkly humorous, unique gruesome glory! With dozens of original illustrations throughout, this Novelization is sure to become an automatic must-have among collectors and avid fans of the film.
Hocus Pocus: The Illustrated Novelization
by A. W. JanthaRelive the magic of the cult-classic film Hocus Pocus with an Illustrated Novelization that retells the story of the film, paired with stunning original artwork throughout from Gris Grimly, ahead of the launch of Hocus Pocus 2! For the first time ever, fans and readers of all ages can enjoy the full story of the immensely popular Hocus Pocus with this deluxe Illustrated Novelization that will show fans the likes of Max Dennison, the Sanderson Sisters, Binx the cat, and other iconic characters as only celebrated, renowned artist Gris Grimly can: in all of their darkly humorous, unique gruesome glory! With dozens of original illustrations throughout, this Novelization is sure to become an automatic must-have among collectors and avid fans of the film. For more spellbinding Hocus Pocus stories, check out these magical titles: Hocus Pocus and the All-New Sequel Art of Coloring: Hocus Pocus The Hocus Pocus Spell Book
Hoe om 'n goeie kind groot te maak
by Starbuck O'Dwyer Liezl DreyerDie boek is benoem vir 'n Indie Leser Ontdekkings Toekennings finalis (ouerskap) en 'n Voorwoord Resensies Boek van die Jaar-finalis (beide humor en in opstel kategorieë), Hoe om 'n goeie kind groot te maak is nie 'n konvensionele hoe-om boek nie, maar eerder 'n versameling van 23 humoristiese en opregte stories oor die uitdagings en vreugdes van kinders groot maak vir beide ouers en kinders se genot. Deur onderwerpe soos eerlikheid, lojaliteit, moed, harde werk, deursettingsvermoë en liefde te ondersoek, is Hoe om 'n goeie kind groot te maak gewaarborg om jou te laat lag met stories wat outentiek, universeël in tema is en geskik om gesprekke oor die belangrikheid van karakter bou en integriteit te begin. Hoe om 'n goeie kind groot te maak is hoogs vermaaklik en betekenisvol, en een van die beste boeke oor ouerskap en grootword wat jy ooit sal vind.
Hoe om gewicht te verliezen, terwijl ZITTEN OP UW FAT ASS
by Levi Freuddit is een korte boek maar een plezier en een heel spannend lees. het bevat praktisch advies over hoe werkelijk slaagde verlies gewicht door zitten op onze fat asses. als je medisch hebt problemen, en kan veel training doen, maar nog steeds wegen gewicht dan dit boek voordelig voor u.
Hog on a Log: An Acorn Book (Frog and Dog #3)
by Janee TraslerFrog, Dog, and Pig find ways to share, in this rhyming laugh-out-loud series perfect for beginning readers!National Cartoonists Society Winner for Best Book IllustrationPick a book. Grow a Reader!This series is part of Scholastic's early reader line, Acorn, aimed at children who are learning to read. With easy-to-read text, a short-story format, plenty of humor, and full-color artwork on every page, these books will boost reading confidence and fluency. Acorn books plant a love of reading and help readers grow!Frog and Dog meet a new friend, Pig. But Pig is not good at sharing... in fact, she's a bit of a HOG. She will not share her LOG, she will not share her LUNCH, and she will not share the spotlight! Can these friends find a way to get along? Discover this silly friendship series perfect for beginning readers, from author-illustrator Janee Trasler. Told in three short stories with rhyming text, simple vocabulary, and colorful artwork, this is the just-right book to grow confidence in young readers!
Hogan's Heroes: Behind the Scenes at Stalag 13!
by Brenda Scott RoyceAn insider’s look at the surprisingly successful, perennially popular classic 1960s sitcom set in a prisoner-of-war camp in World War II Germany.If your fondest TV memories involve the POWs of Stalag 13 cleverly outwitting their captors, Schultz stammering “I know nothing!” and Hochstetter threatening to send everyone to the Russian front, then this is the book for you. This fun and informative book takes you behind the scenes of the classic 1960s sitcom to reveal:the story behind the creation, production, and eventual cancellation of the seriesthe controversy surrounding the show’s unlikely premiseinterviews with many of the show’s stars and crewbiographies of the stars and supporting actorsa detailed guide to each of the 168 episodesa guide to collecting Hogan’s memorabilia and more . . . Hogan’s Heroes is more popular now than ever before, especially in Germany, where it has become a surprising cult hit. In this book, most of the show’s stars and behind-the-scenes personnel share their memories and reflect on the series’ enduring popularity.
Hogfather: A Discworld Novel (Death #4)
by Terry Pratchett"Exceptionally amusing and enjoyable." —Michael Moorcock'Twas the night before Hogswatch and all through the house . . . something was missing. Don't miss this hilarious and irreverent installment in the beloved Discworld series from New York Times bestselling author Sir Terry Pratchett.It’s the most wonderful time of the year, Hogswatchnight, when the Hogfather himself dons his red suit and climbs in his sleigh pulled by—of course—eight hogs, to shower gifts across Discworld. But when the fat man goes missing, someone has to sit in. It’s up to Death to take up the reigns—otherwise the sun won’t shine tomorrow . . . or ever again.Who would want to harm Discworld's most beloved icon? Very few things are held sacred in this twisted, corrupt, heartless—and oddly familiar—universe, but the Hogfather is one of them. Yet here it is, Hogswatchnight, that most joyous and acquisitive of times, and the jolly, old, red-suited gift-giver has vanished without a trace. And there's something shady going on involving an uncommonly psychotic member of the Assassins' Guild and certain representatives of Ankh-Morpork's rather extensive criminal element. Suddenly Discworld's entire myth system is unraveling at an alarming rate. Drastic measures must be taken, which is why Death himself is taking up the reins of the fat man's vacated sleigh . . . which, in turn, has Death's level-headed granddaughter, Susan, racing to unravel the nasty, humbuggian mess before the holiday season goes straight to hell and takes everyone along with it.The Discworld novels can be read in any order, but Hogfather is the fourth book in the Death series. The collection includes:MortThe Reaper ManSoul MusicHogfatherThief of Time
Hoggy Went-A-Courtin' (I Like to Read Comics)
by Ethan LongGet in the game with Hoggy and friends in this comic for beginning readers!No one can catch Hoggy on the court. He&’s the best at dribbling, shooting, and scoring. But Hoggy is not the best when it comes to helping his teammates. To them, Hoggy showboats, over-dribbles, and doesn&’t pass the ball. When Hoggy&’s fed-up friends ask him to leave the game, Hoggy is faced with a big decision. Will he stay angry, or will he apologize and be a better teammate? Ethan Long's expressive, slapstick-style art shines in this story about teamwork, cooperation, and friendship—great for early comics and social emotion learning collections. Comics-lovers can now share the fun with their kids, students, siblings, and younger friends who are learning to read! I Like to Read® Comics are perfect for kids who are challenged by or unengaged in reading, kids who love art, and the growing number of young comics fans. Filled with eye-catching art, humor, and terrific stories these comics provide unique reading experiences for growing minds. I Like to Read® Comics, like their award-winning I Like to Read® counterpart, are created by celebrated artists and support reading comprehension to transform children into lifelong readers. We hope that all new readers will say, &“I like to read comics!&” A Junior Library Guild Gold Standard Selection
Hokum!: The Early Sound Slapstick Short and Depression-Era Mass Culture
by Rob KingA free ebook version of this title is available through Luminos, University of California Press’s Open Access publishing program. Visit www.luminosoa.org to learn more. Hokum! is the first book to take a comprehensive view of short-subject slapstick comedy in the early sound era. Challenging the received wisdom that sound destroyed the slapstick tradition, author Rob King explores the slapstick short’s Depression-era development against a backdrop of changes in film industry practice, comedic tastes, and moviegoing culture. Each chapter is grounded in case studies of comedians and comic teams, including the Three Stooges, Laurel and Hardy, and Robert Benchley. The book also examines how the past legacy of silent-era slapstick was subsequently reimagined as part of a nostalgic mythology of Hollywood’s youth.
Hola Papi: How to Come Out in a Walmart Parking Lot and Other Life Lessons (A Must-Read Memoir)
by John Paul BrammerLGBTQ advice columnist John Paul Brammer writes a &“wise and charming&” (David Sedaris) memoir-in-essays chronicling his journey from a queer, mixed-race kid in America&’s heartland to becoming the &“Chicano Carrie Bradshaw&” of his generation. &“A master class of tone and tenderness.&” —The New York Times Book Review (Editors&’ Choice) &“Should be required reading.&” —Los Angeles TimesThe first time someone called John Paul (JP) Brammer &“Papi&” was on the gay hookup app Grindr. At first, it was flattering; JP took this as white-guy speak for &“hey, handsome.&” But then it happened again and again…and again, leaving JP wondering: Who the hell is Papi? Soon, this racialized moniker became the inspiration for his now wildly popular advice column &“¡Hola Papi!,&” launching his career as the Cheryl Strayed for young queer people everywhere—and some straight people too. JP had his doubts at first—what advice could he really offer while he himself stumbled through his early twenties? Sometimes the best advice comes from looking within, which is what JP does in his column and book—and readers have flocked to him for honest, heartfelt wisdom, and more than a few laughs. In this hilarious, tenderhearted book, JP shares his story of growing up biracial and in the closet in America&’s heartland, while attempting to answer some of life&’s most challenging questions: How do I let go of the past? How do I become the person I want to be? Is there such a thing as being too gay? Should I hook up with my grade school bully now that he&’s out of the closet? Questions we&’ve all asked ourselves, surely. ¡Hola Papi! is &“a warm, witty compendium of hard-won life lessons,&” (Harper&’s Bazaar) for anyone—gay, straight, and everything in between—who has ever taken stock of their unique place in the world.
Hold Fast Your Crown: A Novel
by Yannick HaenelAn exasperated writer obsessed with American cinema embarks on an increasingly bizarre journey in this heady, engrossing novel. A man writes an enormous screenplay on the life of Herman Melville. Not a single producer is interested in it. One day, someone gives him the phone number of the great American filmmaker Michael Cimino, legendary director of The Deer Hunter and Heaven's Gate. A meeting is arranged in New York, and Cimino reads the manuscript. What follows is a series of crazy adventures through Ellis Island, the Musée de la Chasse in Paris, a lake in Italy.We run into Isabelle Huppert, Diana the hunting goddess, a Dalmatian named Sabbat, a diabolical neighbor, and two shady characters with conspicuous mustaches. There's also a pretty PhD student, an unpleasant concierge, and an aggressive maître d' who looks like Emmanuel Macron...This improbable, insightful tale bridges the divide between cinema and literature in unexpected ways that are at once gratifying and profound.
Hold Me Closer, Necromancer (Necromancer Series)
by Lish McBrideSam leads a pretty normal life. He may not have the most exciting job in the world, but he's doing all right—until a fast food prank brings him to the attention of Douglas, a creepy guy with an intense violent streak. Turns out Douglas is a necromancer who raises the dead for cash and sees potential in Sam. Then Sam discovers he's a necromancer too, but with strangely latent powers. And his worst nightmare wants to join forces . . . or else. With only a week to figure things out, Sam needs all the help he can get. Luckily he lives in Seattle, which has nearly as many paranormal types as it does coffee places. But even with newfound friends, will Sam be able to save his skin?Hold Me Closer, Necromancer is a 2011 Bank Street - Best Children's Book of the Year.