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Grumpy Monkey Ready, Set, Bananas! (Step into Reading)
by Suzanne LangFunny monkey Jim Panzee, star of the #1 New York Times bestselling series, is reluctant to join the race in the jungle until banana after banana falls from above. Jim Panzee &‘s plans for a quiet morning nap are interrupted by Tortoise&’s plea to join him in the jungle race. This makes Grumpy Monkey even grumpier but he reluctantly agrees. Then one of the runners bumps into a tree and bananas come raining down! The race to the finish is over as everyone, including Grumpy Monkey, races to get the biggest share of bananas. Easy-to-read words and colorful illustrations will hook young readers on the lifelong habit of reading. Step 2 readers use basic vocabulary and short sentences to tell simple stories. They are perfect for children who recognize familiar words and can sound out new words with help.
Grumpy Monkey Says No! (Grumpy Monkey)
by Suzanne LangIn this original story that tackles a common toddler issue, the bestselling character finds out that &“no!&” isn&’t always the best answer.Does Jim Panzee want to go for a walk? No! How about having a playdate? No! Not even to eat a banana? No! Grumpy Monkey just wants to say "no." Sometimes it seems like the only word toddlers know is "no," and Jim is no exception.A simple text and humorous artwork offer parents the perfect funny book to help when their toddler says "no" to absolutely everything.
Grumpy Monkey Too Many Bugs (Step into Reading)
by Suzanne LangJim Panzee, star of the #1 New York Times bestselling Grumpy Monkey series is very grumpy when his best friend Norman is too busy with his ever-expanding bug collection to play.When Norman shows Jim his pet butterfly, Butterfly-Butterfly, Jim is suitably impressed, especially when Norman spouts butterfly facts. Then Norman adds Beetle-Beetle 1 and Beetle-Beetle 2 and so many more to his menagerie. Now Norman spends all his time feeding and caring for his pets and doesn&’t have time to play. Grumpy Monkey Jim feels left out. And when all the bugs have babies, Jim declares that Norman has too many and persuades his friend to set them free. But then Norman sees a ladybug…Simple bug facts, easy-to-read words, and dynamic and humor-filled illustrations will lead young readers to a lifelong love of books.Step 2 readers use basic vocabulary and short sentences to tell engaging stories. They are perfect for children 4-6 who recognize familiar words and can sound out new words with help.
Grumpy Monkey Up All Night (Grumpy Monkey)
by Suzanne LangEveryone's favorite New York Times bestselling Grumpy Monkey is back in this hilarious bedtime story about dealing with frustration when you don't get to do what you want!Have you ever stayed up way past your bedtime? Jim Panzee certainly has. Jim is going to a slumber party and there's LOTS to do. Jim plans on bobbing for mangoes, going termite fishing, and of course staying UP ALL NIGHT!But Jim gets more than a little frusrated when all the things he wanted to do go awry. One by one, everyone else falls asleep, while Jim is determined to stay up. How long will he last?In this delightful follow up in the GRUMPY MONKEY series, kids see what happens when you stay awake too late!
Grumpy Monkey Who Threw That?: A Graphic Novel Chapter Book (Grumpy Monkey)
by Suzanne LangThis early graphic novel chapter book based on the #1 New York Times bestselling Grumpy Monkey is perfect for children who love the original picture books and are ready for the next step. A longer storyline, multiple panels per page, and hilarious dialogue will keep kids laughing all the way to the end, when Jim Panzee learns an important lesson about apologies.Jim Panzee is demonstrating a new magic trick when he&’s interrupted by two oxpeckers cooing over each other. Annoyed, he tosses a banana peel from his branch and, even worse, denies doing it! Now the real trouble begins when Jim Panzee is banished from the jungle. Best friend Norman joins him and they end up in the desert. But the desert isn&’t a happy place for them, especially Norman. Too much heat in the daytime, too much cold at night, and the lack of bananas are big problems. In order to help his best buddy, Jim agrees to return to the jungle. But the only way he will be welcomed back is if he apologizes. Will grumpy monkey Jim be able to do that?
Grumpy Monkey Yuck! (Grumpy Monkey)
by Suzanne LangThis original story tackles a common toddler issue as the bestselling character Grumpy Monkey finds out that it&’s okay to try something new.Jim Panzee gives the same answer whenever he is offered something unfamiliar to eat—YUCK! He gives that same answer when he&’s encouraged to &“just try it.&” But when picky eater Jim is offered a snack that promises to be sweet and tasty, he just might give in—and discover that he likes it! Here&’s a story for all those toddlers whose all-purpose response to any new food is &“Yuck.&” Suzanne and Max Lang, experts in all things Grumpy Monkey, present a funny book that just might help win over the pickiest of picky eaters.
Grumpy Monkey's Little Book of Grumpiness (Grumpy Monkey)
by Suzanne LangIn this hilarious original story for the littlest grumpy monkey, Jim learns that sometimes it's hard to get over a bad case of grumpiness, but having a good friend can help.What can make a grumpy monkey less grumpy? A ball? A banana? A rainbow? How about a frog in a fluffy wig? Nothing seems to work, but fortunately for young readers Jim's frown is finally turned upside down with the help of his good friend Norman.With just a few words and truly expressive artwork Suzanne and Max Lang give toddlers the perfect funny book to help them deal with a grumpy mood.
Grumpy Old Christmas: The Official Handbook
by Stuart PrebbleThe highly successful 'Grumpies' return full of the Christmas spirit.So - 'tis the season to be jolly is it? Well, not in the household of the Grumpy Old Man it isn't. In the case of the GOM, 'tis the season to have to put up with even deeper layers of vexation than usual, and the only thing worth celebrating is that it looks as though you might after all be surviving to the end of what has been another crap year.Everything about Christmas gets up our snitches. Everything. From the breakfast telly presenters who tell us it's now just 120 shopping days to go, to the annual festive strike by airport baggage handlers. From office parties where drunken juniors have waited the whole year to tell you what 'the trouble with you is...', to parents videoing their precocious brats at the atrocious school nativity play where your kid is playing the part of the donkey's rear end. From the woman next door who drops in to show your wife the diamond ring her prat of a husband has bought her, to the 150th opportunity to see 'Whistle Down the Wind' on the telly.And speaking of wind, there's the festive Xmas turkey that tastes like blotting paper soaked in a puddle and sends your digestive system to hell. And how on earth are we really supposed to look happy when someone buys us a tie with a picture of xxxxing Santa on it? Eh?
Grumpy Old Christmas: The Official Handbook
by Stuart PrebbleThe highly successful 'Grumpies' return full of the Christmas spirit.So - 'tis the season to be jolly is it? Well, not in the household of the Grumpy Old Man it isn't. In the case of the GOM, 'tis the season to have to put up with even deeper layers of vexation than usual, and the only thing worth celebrating is that it looks as though you might after all be surviving to the end of what has been another crap year.Everything about Christmas gets up our snitches. Everything. From the breakfast telly presenters who tell us it's now just 120 shopping days to go, to the annual festive strike by airport baggage handlers. From office parties where drunken juniors have waited the whole year to tell you what 'the trouble with you is...', to parents videoing their precocious brats at the atrocious school nativity play where your kid is playing the part of the donkey's rear end. From the woman next door who drops in to show your wife the diamond ring her prat of a husband has bought her, to the 150th opportunity to see 'Whistle Down the Wind' on the telly.And speaking of wind, there's the festive Xmas turkey that tastes like blotting paper soaked in a puddle and sends your digestive system to hell. And how on earth are we really supposed to look happy when someone buys us a tie with a picture of xxxxing Santa on it? Eh?
Grumpy Old Christmas: The Official Handbook
by Stuart PrebbleSo - 'tis the season to be jolly is it? Well, not in the household of the Grumpy Old Man it isn't. In the case of the GOM, 'tis the season to have to put up with even deeper layers of vexation than usual, and the only thing worth celebrating is that it looks as though you might after all be surviving to the end of what has been another crap year.Everything about Christmas gets up our snitches. Everything. From the breakfast telly presenters who tell us it's now just 120 shopping days to go, to the annual festive strike by airport baggage handlers. From office parties where drunken juniors have waited the whole year to tell you what 'the trouble with you is...', to parents videoing their precocious brats at the atrocious school nativity play where your kid is playing the part of the donkey's rear end. From the woman next door who drops in to show your wife the diamond ring her prat of a husband has bought her, to the 150th opportunity to see 'Whistle Down the Wind' on the telly.And speaking of wind, there's the festive Xmas turkey that tastes like blotting paper soaked in a puddle and sends your digestive system to hell. And how on earth are we really supposed to look happy when someone buys us a tie with a picture of xxxxing Santa on it? Eh?Read by Stuart Prebble(p) 2007 Orion Publishing Group
Grumpy Old Couples: Men are from Mars. Women have just got back from Tesco¿s
by Jenny Eclair Judith HolderFrom that first date - and how it's all downhill from thereWe all know about the jungle of 'dating'. But once you've found your 'special' friend you'll have to pretend you like their taste in music, be nice to their mother and pick up their socks, and that's only year one.By the time you get into grumpy old middle-aged land, you're firmly on farting terms and over-familiarity has bedded in. The only thing to do with the whole business is to laugh over it, which is the idea of this book.
Grumpy Old Couples: Men are from Mars. Women have just got back from Tesco¿s
by Jenny Eclair Judith HolderFrom that first date - and how it's all downhill from thereWe all know about the jungle of 'dating'. But once you've found your 'special' friend you'll have to pretend you like their taste in music, be nice to their mother and pick up their socks, and that's only year one.By the time you get into grumpy old middle-aged land, you're firmly on farting terms and over-familiarity has bedded in. The only thing to do with the whole business is to laugh over it, which is the idea of this book.
Grumpy Old Drivers: The Official Handbook
by Stuart PrebbleHow modern motoring drives Grumpies to distractionWe've said that Christmas is the worst thing; we've said that working for idiots is the worst thing; we've said that holidays are the worst thing. But driving is the worst thing of all. It brings together so many of the multitude of individual elements which combine to make Grumpy Old Men and Grumpy Old Women grumpy.It's got queuing - at petrol stations, on side roads, on A roads, on motorways, at car parks and even at the 'drive through'. Very few things make Grumpies more grumpy than queuing.It's got being ripped off - when you buy a car, when you have it serviced, when you buy anything for it, when anything goes wrong, when you put petrol in it, when you wash it, when you park it, when it gets towed away and when some arsehole you've never met bumps into it.It's got being pissed about - when you want to book it in for a service, and when you get to tax it, insure it and get the MOT for it, and again when you want to sell it. And last but not least, it's got the most essential ingredient of grumpiness. Driving is a triumph of disappointment over expectation. When we were kids we thought driving would be the ultimate freedom and all it has turned out to be is a total pain in the tushkin.And that is not even mentioning Top sodding Gear...
Grumpy Old Drivers: The Official Handbook
by Stuart PrebbleHow modern motoring drives Grumpies to distractionWe've said that Christmas is the worst thing; we've said that working for idiots is the worst thing; we've said that holidays are the worst thing. But driving is the worst thing of all. It brings together so many of the multitude of individual elements which combine to make Grumpy Old Men and Grumpy Old Women grumpy.It's got queuing - at petrol stations, on side roads, on A roads, on motorways, at car parks and even at the 'drive through'. Very few things make Grumpies more grumpy than queuing.It's got being ripped off - when you buy a car, when you have it serviced, when you buy anything for it, when anything goes wrong, when you put petrol in it, when you wash it, when you park it, when it gets towed away and when some arsehole you've never met bumps into it.It's got being pissed about - when you want to book it in for a service, and when you get to tax it, insure it and get the MOT for it, and again when you want to sell it. And last but not least, it's got the most essential ingredient of grumpiness. Driving is a triumph of disappointment over expectation. When we were kids we thought driving would be the ultimate freedom and all it has turned out to be is a total pain in the tushkin.And that is not even mentioning Top sodding Gear...
Grumpy Old Holidays: The Official Handbook
by Judith HolderWelcome on board - holidays the Grumpy way!As every Grumpy Old Man and Woman knows, holidays are another way of keeping you all house-trained. They are civilised society's reminder to you that the tedium of everyday life is actually preferable to a fortnight spent in the company of nagging partners, other people's brats, bombastic in-laws; and - worse still - people who can't speak English. As soon as you check in at the airport you are marooned in a sea of screaming babies, dull-faced reps and bland airport food. Count yourself lucky if your optimistic expectation of a good holiday is even remotely fulfilled. Don't be fooled by the glamorous air-brushed photos of American models with tippexed teeth sitting by laguna pools, cocktail in hand. There may be beautiful sunsets by the beach in the brochure, but you'll inevitably find that a) you should have booked the neighbouring hotel (and if you're lucky she'll tell you so, 'ad nauseam') b) you picked the rainy/religious holiday/mosquito/plague infestation season - and wonder why it was so cheap and c) you'll have had too much sex or food by the third or fourth day and be bored of each other, but there's no-one else to talk to, apart from monosyllabic waiting staff and the ubiquitous Russians. A holiday is supposed to be a lovely break, isn't it? This book proves that it is the stay-at-homes who have all the fun.
Grumpy Old Holidays: The Official Handbook
by Judith HolderWelcome on board - holidays the Grumpy way!As every Grumpy Old Man and Woman knows, holidays are another way of keeping you all house-trained. They are civilised society's reminder to you that the tedium of everyday life is actually preferable to a fortnight spent in the company of nagging partners, other people's brats, bombastic in-laws; and - worse still - people who can't speak English. As soon as you check in at the airport you are marooned in a sea of screaming babies, dull-faced reps and bland airport food. Count yourself lucky if your optimistic expectation of a good holiday is even remotely fulfilled. Don't be fooled by the glamorous air-brushed photos of American models with tippexed teeth sitting by laguna pools, cocktail in hand. There may be beautiful sunsets by the beach in the brochure, but you'll inevitably find that a) you should have booked the neighbouring hotel (and if you're lucky she'll tell you so, 'ad nauseam') b) you picked the rainy/religious holiday/mosquito/plague infestation season - and wonder why it was so cheap and c) you'll have had too much sex or food by the third or fourth day and be bored of each other, but there's no-one else to talk to, apart from monosyllabic waiting staff and the ubiquitous Russians. A holiday is supposed to be a lovely break, isn't it? This book proves that it is the stay-at-homes who have all the fun.
Grumpy Old Men: The Official Handbook
by Stuart PrebbleDo you know someone who is incensed by compulsory tipping? Who is infuriated if kept on hold for more than a minute? Who is positively apoplectic if someone answers their phone during dinner? If so, youve probably encountered the phenomenon of the grumpy old man. Following their first massively successful BBC1 series, this autumn will see the grumpy old men will return to our screens, and this time theyre grumpier than ever. Packed with funny and informative chapters such as Who are we, What are we grumpy about and How can you spot the signs of grumpiness coming on, this book will leave even the grumpiest of men with a grin on his face.
Grumpy Old Men: The Secret Diary
by Stuart PrebbleTo everything there is a season. A time to be born, a time to die ... and a time to have a bloody good moan. Following the huge success of Grumpy Old Men, Stuart Prebble, writer of the highly acclaimed TV series, gives us a more in-depth look at what it's really like to be a pissed-off man of a certain age. In painstaking detail, he takes us through a year in the constantly irritated life of a Grumpy Old Man, recounting the manifold vexations and absurdities he has to put up with in the perpetual torment that we call modern living. Drinks parties, holidays, hospital visits, his children's misdemeanours, buying presents for the wife, watching television, attempts to visit the gym, trips to the shops, the trials and tribulations of everyday life - each event has something to tip him over the edge. Stuart's diary proves that grumpiness is not just an occasional mood or a temporary feeling, but a way of looking at the world, and will strike a chord with all those who are proud to call themselves Grumpy Old Men.
Grumpy Old Women
by Judith HolderWe all know what it means these days to be a grumpy old man, because part of that role is to be outspoken. Well, we've heard just about enough out of the men, thank you very much! Grumpy Old Women gives us the other perspective: the female take on the million irritations of today's world. So whats the difference? Surely what is irritating to the mature members of one sex is equally annoying to the other? Not necessarily, and this is precisely what Grumpy Old Women seeks to address. Body image, visitors, children, animals, shopping, careers, parties, holidays and, yes, grumpy old men themselves all are very much on the list of what today's mature woman finds a source of concern. From the series producer and stand-up comic Judith Holder, the book incorporates material from the television series Grumpy Old Women, which features a diverse, colourful and very grumpy group of celebrities, including Janet Street Porter, Jenny Eclair, Ann Widdecombe, Germaine Greer, Kathryn Flett and Jilly Cooper. Written with wit, style and sympathy, the book is a source of both amusement and comfort to women everywhere - grumpy, old or otherwise.
Grumpy Old Workers: The Official Handbook
by Stuart Prebble'I owe, I owe, so off to work we go.' A Grumpy perspective on the daily grind.Whether we are celebrity chef or hapless waiter, engineer or oily rag, commissioning editor or TV producer, all of us have a whole daily wagon-load of s**t to deal with in the name of work. From boardroom to boredom, from 'what's the point?' to Powerpoint, from 9 to 5 to P45. And that's what this new book from uber-grump Stuart Prebble is all about; the utter everyday relentless crapulence of working for 'the man', or indeed 'the woman'. The workplace is a piece of cake for someone of his curmudgeonly quality. It's not possible in a book of this size to include ALL the grumps arising from the working day - the office politics, the shortcomings of IT, the interminable meetings and some of your colleagues' weirder habits, but he is giving it a go. Grumpy? I'll say we are ...
Grumpy Old Workers: The Official Handbook
by Stuart Prebble'I owe, I owe, so off to work we go.' A Grumpy perspective on the daily grind.Whether we are celebrity chef or hapless waiter, engineer or oily rag, commissioning editor or TV producer, all of us have a whole daily wagon-load of s**t to deal with in the name of work. From boardroom to boredom, from 'what's the point?' to Powerpoint, from 9 to 5 to P45. And that's what this new book from uber-grump Stuart Prebble is all about; the utter everyday relentless crapulence of working for 'the man', or indeed 'the woman'. The workplace is a piece of cake for someone of his curmudgeonly quality. It's not possible in a book of this size to include ALL the grumps arising from the working day - the office politics, the shortcomings of IT, the interminable meetings and some of your colleagues' weirder habits, but he is giving it a go. Grumpy? I'll say we are ...
The Grumpy Pirate
by Corinne Demas Artemis RoehrigGus the Pirate is always grumpy, but can the wise Pirate Queen convince him to change his ways?There is one grumpy pirate.They call him Grumpy Gus. He grunts and gripes and grouses,and always makes a fuss.Gus the Pirate complains about everything -- ARRRRRGH! Gus grumbles about his lumpy bed and his itchy clothes. He complains about the yucky food and doing his chores on the pirate ship. Even sailing toward buried treasure can't make Gus happy! Finally, the other pirates have had enough! They ask the Pirate Queen to help.So the Pirate Queen gives Grumpy Gus a pet parrot -- but the parrot is grumpy, too! After Gus spends the day with a parrot who's just as grumbly and grouchy as he is, Gus realizes his bad attitude might be a little hard to deal with. Can Gus turn his frown upside down before the other pirates make him walk the plank?All kids can relate to feeling grumpy like Gus, and this swashbuckling pirate adventure teaches kids the importance of trying to have a positive attitude!
Grumpy Unicorn Hits the Road (Grumpy Unicorn Ser.)
by Joey SpiottoGrumpy Unicorn returns in his first graphic novel! He's out in the world and ready to straight up not have a good time in this hilarious collection of comic stories.Grumpy Unicorn is bored. Really bored. And what's a Unicorn to do when the town he lives in has nothing fun to do? Hit the road in search of adventure, of course!In this laugh-out-loud original story, everyone's favorite magical grouch sets off to find something or someone that doesn't totally annoy him. And sort of succeeds. With new characters like Sassy the Sasquatch, Jack the Jackelope, and some out-of-this-world friends, this hilarious journey is a must-have for fans of Grumpy Unicorn: Why Me?
Grumpy Unicorn Saves the World: A Graphic Novel
by Joey SpiottoGrumpy Unicorn returns in this laugh-out-loud graphic novel!Grumpy Unicorn is back home after hitting the road in his first graphic novel. There's nothing that this Unicorn would love better than to just stay in, watch some TV, and veg out. But when his house is dirty, Grumpy decides to buy a cool self-cleaning robot... that due to a factory defect, is determined to conquer the world! It's up to Grumpy to save the day in this hilarious, action-packed, ridiculous adventure!
Grün und Blau trägt wessen Frau? (...hat meine Mutter immer gesagt)
by Colette KebellGiGi (alias Griselda Griswald) ist eine Frau mit einer klaren Mission: Menschen helfen, besser auszusehen, selbstbewusster und letztlich glücklicher zu werden. Die Rolle als Personal Shopper ist eine finstere Kunst, die kaum greifbare Früchte trägt. Das Business verbreitet sich per Mundpropaganda, aber ihre Kunden würden niemals zugeben, dass sie Hilfe nötig haben. Nicht einmal unter Folter. Ganz ehrlich: Wer gibt schon gerne zu, dass er Styling-Tipps bitternötig hat? Es ist wie bei Alkoholikern: Der erste Schritt ist es, zuzugeben, dass man Hilfe braucht, und zu erkennen, dass diese Leggings einem mit Mitte fünfzig nicht mehr wirklich sehr schmeichelt. Wer diese Erkenntnis gewinnt, ist schon auf dem Weg der Besserung, und da kommt GiGis Service ins Spiel, auch wenn ihre Mutter findet, ihr Job sei gar kein „richtiger“ Job. Die Leute brauchen einfach Tipps, und oft hilft eine neue Sichtweise, einen Kleiderschrank auf Vordermann zu bringen, der im Laufe der Zeit immer langweiliger geworden war. Aber würden sie es zugeben? Nie und nimmer! Also geht es nur darum, shoppen zu gehen, und den Leuten zu Kleidern und Schuhen zu verhelfen? Nicht ganz. GiGi ist knapp bei Kasse und ihre reichen und äußerst exzentrischen Kunden wissen oft selbst nicht, was sie wollen. Sie und ihr Geschäftspartner Ritchie versuchen mit Händen und Füßen, sich über Wasser zu halten, aber wie würden sie es in der Höhle der Löwen ausdrücken? GiGi ist „äußerst investierbar“. Jedoch mit dem Erfolg kommen auch neue Schwierigkeiten. Bald soll das Battersea Fashion Center direkt gegenüber ihrem Büro eröffnen, das sich als harte Konkurrenz versteht. Ein mächtiger Gegner bringt sich in Position, um sie zu verschlingen, denn GiGis Arbeitsweise wurde bereits als nicht zu unterschätzen eingestuft. Während sie neue Wege sucht, ihr Beratungsunternehmen zum Erfolg zu verhelfen, findet sie nebenbei noch die potenzielle Liebe ihres Lebens.<br