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Half Empty
by David RakoffThe inimitably witty David Rakoff, New York Times bestselling author of Don't Get Too Comfortable, defends the commonsensical notion that you should always assume the worst, because you'll never be disappointed. In this deeply funny (and, no kidding, wise and poignant) book, Rakoff examines the realities of our sunny; gushy; everyone-can-be-a-star contemporary culture and finds that, pretty much as a universal rule, the best is not yet to come, adversity will triumph, justice will not be served, and your dreams won't come true. The book ranges from the personal to the universal, combining stories from Rakoff's reporting and accounts of his own experiences: the moment when being a tiny child no longer meant adults found him charming but instead meant other children found him a fun target; the perfect late evening in Manhattan when he was young and the city seemed to brim with such possibility that the street shimmered in the moonlight - as he drew closer he realized the streets actually flickered with rats in a feeding frenzy. He also weaves in his usual brand Oscar Wilde-worthy cultural criticism (the tragedy of Hollywood's Walk of Fame, for instance). Whether he's lacerating the musical Rent for its cutesy depiction of AIDS or dealing with personal tragedy, his sharp observations and humorist's flair for the absurd will have you positively reveling in the power of negativity. From the Hardcover edition.
Half Life
by Lillian ClarkAn overachiever enrolls in an experimental clone study to prove that two (of her own) heads are better than one in this fast-paced, near-future adventure that's Black Mirror meets Becky Albertalli.There aren't enough hours in the day for Lucille--perfectionist, overachiever--to do everything she has to do, and there certainly aren't enough hours to hang out with friends, fall in love, get in trouble--all the teenage things she knows she should want to be doing instead of preparing for a flawless future. So when she sees an ad for Life2: Do more. Be more, she's intrigued. The company is looking for beta testers to enroll in an experimental clone program, and in the aftermath of a series of disappointments, Lucille is feeling reckless enough to jump in. At first, it's perfect: her clone, Lucy, is exactly what she needed to make her life manageable and have time for a social life. But it doesn't take long for Lucy to become more Lucy and less Lucille, and Lucille is forced to stop looking at Lucy as a reflection and start seeing her as a window--a glimpse at someone else living her own life, but better. Lucy does what she really wants to, not what she thinks she should want to, and Lucille is left wondering how much she was even a part of the perfect life she'd constructed for herself. Lucille wanted Lucy to help her relationships with everyone else, but how can she do that without first rectifying her relationship with herself?"Like a PG-13 mash-up of Booksmart and Black Mirror, Clark&’s sophomore novel delivers both twisty sci-fi suspense and a highly relatable account of the search for self-determination and self-worth."--Booklist"Clark makes this territory fresh, and teens questioning their own self-worth will be drawn to this novel. A novel that is near-future enough to appeal to sci-fi fans as well as general audiences who like to ask, 'What if?'"--SLJ
Halfway to Crazy
by Mark ThriceThis hilarious collection of the best and funniest columns published by syndicated humor columnist Mark Thrice takes an entertaining look at normal everyday life-from husbanding to parenting to holding down the job that is paying for both. With over fifty columns showcasing Mr. Thrice's witty and whimsical turns, this is a perfect gift for husband and wife and a classic treasure that will produce laughs on every page!
Hall of Small Mammals: Stories
by Thomas Pierce'Ridiculously good...[There's a] feeling of being inside a bubble while reading Mr. Pierce, and it is a bubble you won't want to leave' Janet Maslin, New York TimesThe stories in Thomas Pierce's Hall of Small Mammals take place at the confluence of the commonplace and the cosmic, the intimate and the infinite. A fossil-hunter, a comedian, a hot- air balloon pilot, parents and children, believers and nonbelievers, the people in these stories are struggling to understand the absurdity and the magnitude of what it means to exist in a family, to exist in the world.In Shirley Temple Three, a mother must shoulder her son's burden - a cloned and resurrected woolly mammoth who wreaks havoc on her house, sanity, and faith. In The Real Alan Gass, a physicist in search of a mysterious particle called the 'daisy' spends her days with her boyfriend, Walker, and her nights with the husband who only exists in the world of her dreams, Alan Gass. Like the daisy particle itself - 'forever locked in a curious state of existence and nonexistence, sliding back and forth between the two' - the stories in Thomas Pierce's Hall of Small Mammals are exquisite, mysterious, and inextricably connected.From this enchanting primordial soup, Pierce's voice emerges - a distinct and charming testament of the New South, melding contemporary concerns with their prehistoric roots to create a hilarious, deeply moving collection of stories.
The Hallelujah Side: A Novel
by Rhoda Huffey&“It had been a Second Coming sky all day, which meant they might be in heaven by this evening.&” So begins the uproarious and tender tale of Roxanne Fish, daughter of Sister Zelda Fish and Pastor Winston Fish of the First Assembly of God Church of Ames, Iowa, who believe fervently in the imminent return of Jesus to take the Christians up to heaven. The Fishes&’ older daughter, Colleen, wants no part of their exuberant faith (&“Where are you going, young lady?&” &“To find my real family!&”), but Roxy longs to be saved even as she fears her sinful desires, such as marrying Elvis Presley when she grows up. If she grows up.Roxy lives in a world populated by angels with blue noses and demons who follow her around whispering &“God doesn&’t like you.&” And sinners, sinners everywhere, easily identifiable by their makeup and capri pants and knowledge of television programs. Her soul&’s journey through this wicked world to her own particular salvation—with an assist from the Queen of Soul herself, Aretha Franklin—is unforgettable. Rhoda Huffey&’s affection for her characters shines in every line. She handles large themes with a sure hand, perfect comic timing, and an utter originality that make The Hallelujah Side a joy.
The Hallo-Wiener
by Dav PilkeyFrom Dav Pilkey, creator of the New York Times bestselling Dog Man and Captain Underpants series, comes Oscar, a little dog with a big bullying problem.Oscar is a little dog with a big problem -- he gets more tricks than treats because other dogs tease him all the time. But one brave act on Halloween makes Oscar a Grade-A hero, proving that a little wiener can be a real winner!
The Halloween Costume Countdown
by Maggie MurphyWith Alligator's Halloween party starting in two hours, Cat and Mouse think up ideas of costumes.
¡Un Halloween de miedo! (Daniela DivertiGuay #Volumen 2)
by Daniela DivertiGuayA Daniela le encantan las fiestas y si es con sus primas Valeria y Martina, y con todas sus amigas, ¡MEJOR QUE MEJOR! ¡Prepárate para la aventura más tenebrosa... y DivertiGuay! Se acerca Halloween y es la mejor oportunidad para montar una celebración INOLVIDABLE. Hay que pensarlo bien para que todo salga perfecto: los mejores disfraces del mundo, todo el maquillaje necesario y un montón de chuches con MUCHO MISTERIO...
¡Un Halloween de miedo! (El pequeño Leo Da Vinci #7)
by Christian Gálvez¿Quieres ser un genio?Pues no te pierdas las divertidísimas y trepidantes aventuras del pequeño Leo Da Vinci y sus amigos Lisa, Miguel Ángel, Chiara, Boti, Rafa y Spaghetto. La fiesta de Halloween se acerca y Vlad, «el Empalador», conde de Transilvania, ha reunido a los monstruos más terroríficos de medio mundo para celebrarlo. Además ha secuestrado a Violet, la hermana de Emil, un vampirito con un solo colmillo. Para rescatarla, Emil pedirá ayuda a Leo y su pandilla, que se encuentran enfrascados en un nuevo invento: un carro que funciona con boñigas de vaca. ¿Podrán rescatarla antes de que Vlad la convierta en vampiro? Y es que ser vampiro en estos días... ¡¡es muy chungo!! Y, además, agudiza al máximo tus neuronas y resuelve un montón de enigmas!
Halloween, Here I Come! (Here I Come!)
by D.J. SteinbergKick off your Halloween night with these festive poems from the author of Kindergarten, Here I Come!From choosing the best costume and going out trick-or-treating to sorting your candy and dealing with the results after you've eaten too much, author D. J. Steinberg captures the slightly shivery as well as festive moments of Halloween in this collection of playful poems.
Halloween in Paradise (The Tj Jensen Mysteries #6)
by Kathi DaleyAt a high school reunion, who is ‘Most Likely to Be the Killer’? A sleuthing PE teacher must find out in this mystery by the USA Today–bestselling author . . . In the midst of the annual Halloween frenzy, Tj Jensen finds herself pulled into a series of events at the Nevada high school where she works. She must help not only the girl on her team who’s being cyberbullied, but also a student who’s recently suffered a personal tragedy. And as if Tj wasn’t busy enough, in walks Samantha Colton, a reporter for Second Look, a television series that takes a look back at unsolved murders. This time the cold case is the death of a popular student after the homecoming dance ten years before. To make matters even worse—or maybe more convenient—the graduating class of the victim is in town for their ten-year reunion and all the suspects just happen to have converged on Serenity for the weekend. When the TV reporter turns up dead, Tj must track down someone who seems willing to kill again to keep their secret . . . “Daley’s characters come to life on the page. Her novels are filled with a little mystery and a little romance which makes for a murderous adventure.” —Tonya Kappes, USA Today–bestselling author of Fixin’ To Die
Halloween Invaders! (The Secret World of Alex Mack #20)
by John Vornholt Esther M. FriesnerParadise Valley is up in arms with the scare of a UFO. Sadly, Alex's superpowers quit, leaving her a walking, jelly-like creature. Alex has to get home to fix herself, but how can she with half the town on her trail?
A Halloween Mystery! (Little Golden Book)
by David CroattoCelebrate Halloween with Mystery Inc., the DC Super Heroes, Tom & Jerry, and the Looney Tunes in this Little Golden Book cross over event that brings all of Warner Bros.&’ most iconic characters together!It&’s Halloween night, and everyone&’s favorite Warner Bros. characters are having a haunted house decorating competition! But when the houses get sabotaged, can super sleuths Daphne and Velma get to the bottom of the mystery before it&’s time for the judging?For the first time, iconic Warner Bros. and DC characters such as the DC Super Heroes, Scooby-Doo and Mystery Inc., the Looney Tunes, Tom & Jerry, and more are interacting together in this fun Halloween Little Golden Book—perfect for kids ages 2 to 5 and Warner Bros., DC, and Hanna-Barbera fans of all ages!
The Halloween Party from the Black Lagoon (Black Lagoon Adventures #5)
by Mike ThalerThese fun-filled chapter books mix school, monsters, and common kid problems with hilarious results. You'll scream with laughter!Hubie is about to scream. He doesn't have a costume for the scariest Halloween costume party ever. Too bad he can't just go as the invisible man and stay at home. Plus, there's going to be a ton of monsters at the party. He better find a costume quick or become a tasty treat for all those cruel ghouls!
Halloweenies
by David Wisniewski"Get ready to shriek...with laughter! Within these covers lurk five horror spoofs just waiting to tickle your funny bone. Can it survive the shaggy shenanigans of "Frankenstein's Hamster"? Can it endure the galactic giggles of "Attack of the Space Toupees"? Yes, you say... Well, grab your popcorn! The lights are going down! The curtains are going up! It's time for the first showing of... " Publishers Weekly In five stories modeled on creature-feature movies, Wisniewski, working more in the vein of his The Secret Knowledge of Grown-Ups than his Caldecott-winning Golem, [available from Bookshare] warms up old gags. Pen-and-inks of three movie-going boys imply the intended audience, and so do lowbrow jokes about a castle's "big buttress" and a sherpa named "Duk Pin Bo Ling." A pushy cosmetologist turns a werewolf into a "werewuss," and, in "Attack of the Space Toupees," the wives of exclusively male government officials thwart a UFO plot (the vanquished aliens respond with sinister "space girdles"). Ages 7-up. Pictures are described. Other books by David Wisniewski are available from Bookshare.
Hally Tosis: El horrible problema de un perro
by Dav PilkeyA story in Spanish about a dog who gets into trouble.
The Halt During the Chase
by Rosemary TonksFinally back in print, a remarkable, hilarious coming-of-age novel from the cult classic writer Rosemary Tonks. Sophie—a clever and charming young woman—is trying to get out from under her mother’s thumb. She’s in love with her childhood friend Philip (pragmatic, attractive, a bit of a bore), but she often worries that she loves him too much for her own good, and that he might only be another thumb to crawl under. Both a sincere bildungsroman of Sophie’s attempt to seize a life for herself and a comic masterpiece with cutting observations and asides, The Halt During the Chase is flutteringly alive as it discusses different forms of love, adulthood (“Isn’t buying new lampshades a form of slow death?”), marriage, insecurity, and stifling British snobbery and classism. Sophie’s voice, fueled by Tonks’s acidic narration, evolves from thrashing about in various traps into a triumphant, croaky-throated liberation song.
Ham: Essays and Stories
by Sam Harrisham (noun) [hæm]<P> 1. the hind leg of a hog, salted, smoked, and cured<P> 2. second son of Noah <P> 3. somebody who performs in an exaggerated showy style -always hamming it up <P> Just when you thought you knew everything about ham, you discover that ham is also: <P> 4. a reason to laugh about everyday life, and <P> 5. an irresistible collection of humorous essays from a man who was born to entertain us. <P> In sixteen brilliantly observed true stories, Sam Harris emerges as a natural humorist in league with David Sedaris, Chelsea Handler, Carrie Fisher, and Steve Martin, but with a voice uniquely his own. Praised by the Chicago Sun-Times for his "manic, witty commentary," and with a storytelling talent the New York Times calls "New Yorker- worthy," he puts a comedic spin on full-disclosure episodes from his own colorful life. What better place to find painfully funny material than in growing up gay, gifted, and ambitious in the heart of the Bible belt? And that's just the first cut: From partying to parenting, from Sunday school to getting sober, these slices of Ham will have you laughing and wiping away salty tears in equal measure with their universal and down-to-earth appeal. After all, there's a little ham in all of us.
Ham Biscuits, Hostess Gowns, and Other Southern Specialties: An Entertaining Life (with recipes)
by Julia ReedSouthern humorist Julia Reed celebrates Southern food, Southern women, and the Southern penchant for enjoying good times in this collection of her food writing.Julia Reed spends a lot of time thinking about ham biscuits. And cornbread and casseroles and the surprisingly modern ease of donning a hostess gown for one's own party. In Ham Biscuits, Hostess Gowns and Other Southern Specialties Julia Reed collects her thoughts on good cooking and the lessons of gracious entertaining that pass from one woman to another, and takes the reader on a lively and very personal tour of the culinary -- and social -- South. In essays on everything from pork chops to the perfect picnic Julia Reed revels in the simple good qualities that make the Southern table the best possible place to pull up a chair. She expounds on: the Southerner's relentless penchant for using gelatinwhy most things taste better with homemade mayonnaisethe necessity of a holiday milk punch (and, possibly, a Santa hat)how best to "cook for compliments" (at least one squash casserole and Lee Bailey's barbequed veal are key). She provides recipes for some of the region's best-loved dishes (cheese straws, red velvet cake, breakfast shrimp), along with her own variations on the classics, including Fried Oysters Rockefeller Salad and Creole Crab Soup. She also elaborates on worthwhile information every hostess would do well to learn: the icebreaking qualities of a Ramos gin fizz and a hot crabmeat canapé, for example; the "wow factor" intrinsic in a platter of devilled eggs or a giant silver punchbowl filled with scoops of homemade ice cream. There is guidance on everything from the best possible way to "eat" your luck on New Year's Day to composing a menu in honor of someone you love. Grace and hilarity under gastronomic pressure suffuse these essays, along with remembrances of her gastronomic heroes including Richard Olney, Mary Cantwell, and M.F.K. Fisher. Ham Biscuits, Hostess Gowns and Other Southern Specialties is another great book about the South from Julia Reed, a writer who makes her experiences in—and out of—the kitchen a joy to read.
Ham Helsing #1: Vampire Hunter (Ham Helsing #1)
by Rich MoyerThe monster hunt is on! A rip-roaring graphic novel adventure about the latest in a famous family of vampire-hunting pigs, inspired by legendary monster slayer Van Helsing!Ham Helsing is the descendant of a long line of adventurers and monster hunters--who don't often live to rest on their laurels. Ham has always been the odd pig out, preferring to paint or write poetry instead of inventing dangerous (dumb) new ways to catch dangerous creatures. His brother Chad was the daredevil carrying on the family legacy of leaping before looking, but after his death, it's down to Ham. Reluctantly, he sets out on his first assignment, to hunt a vampire. But Ham soon learns that people aren't always what they seem and that you need a good team around you to help save your bacon!
Ham Helsing #2: Monster Hunter (Ham Helsing #2)
by Rich MoyerThe uproarious next installment of the Ham Helsing graphic novel series sees Ham and his crew back to fight monsters at mysterious Camp Fish Head Lake! Ham Helsing is a winner!&” --Lincoln Peirce, writer and artist of New York Times bestselling series Big Nate and Max & the MidknightsAfter an invitation to "peaceful" Camp Fish Head Lake, Ham and his buddies arrive expecting to be guests of honor. But there are no staff to be seen, and with kids (and their overprotective parents) arriving, they decide to just go with the flow. How hard can it be to keep a few kids out of trouble? But the camp turns out to be not so monster-free--and definitely not the kind of lake you want to go fishing in! Ham and his friends have their hands full as campers start to go missing and will have to work together and trust each other to figure out what's going on--especially when old foes return.
The Hammer and the Cross (Gateway Essentials #294)
by Harry Harrison865 A.D. Warring kings rule over the British Isles, but the Church rules over the kings. Powerful bishops and black-robed priests fill their cathedrals with gold, while threatening all who oppose them with damnation. But there are those who do not fear the priests, and they are the dreaded Vikings of Scandinavia. Among these Northern invaders, those who follow the Way of the Gods of Asgard carry the Hammer of Thor as their emblem, and they are sworn to increase mankind's knowledge and strength by conquest and by craft. And as Viking warlords cast hungry eyes upon a weak and divided Britain, the Way collides with the Church, launching an all-out war between The Hammer and the Cross.At the center of this bloody conflict is Shef, bastard son of a Norse raider and a captive English lady. A smith and a warrior, he is driven by strange visions that seem to come from Odin himself. Torn by divided loyalties, Shef alone dares to imagine new weapons and tactics with which to carve out a kingdom - and threaten the holy power of Rome itself!
Hammer And Tickle: A History Of Communism Told Through Communist Jokes
by Ben LewisThe book that immerses the Cold War in the warm bath of nostalgia.Q: Why, despite all the shortages, was the toilet paper in East Germany always 2-ply?A: Because they had to send a copy of everything they did to Moscow.Communist jokes are the strangest, funniest, most enchanting and meaningful legacy of the 80 years of political experimentation in Russia and Eastern Europe, known as Communism. The valiant and sardonic citizens of the former Communist countries - surrounded by an invisible network of secret police, threatened with arrest, imprisonment and forced labour, confronted by an economic system that left shops empty, and bombarded with ludicrous state propaganda - turned joke-telling into an art form. They used jokes as a coded way of speaking the truth.HAMMER AND TICKLE takes us on a unique journey through the Communist era (1917-1989), and tells its real history through subversive jokes and joke-tellers, many of whom ended up in the gulags. It is also illustrated with a combination of rare and previously unpublished archive material, political cartoons, caricatures, photographs and state-sponsored propaganda. Humorous, culturally poignant and historically revealing, this is the story of a political system that was (almost) laughed out of existence.
Hammer And Tickle: A History Of Communism Told Through Communist Jokes
by Ben LewisThe book that immerses the Cold War in the warm bath of nostalgia.Q: Why, despite all the shortages, was the toilet paper in East Germany always 2-ply?A: Because they had to send a copy of everything they did to Moscow.Communist jokes are the strangest, funniest, most enchanting and meaningful legacy of the 80 years of political experimentation in Russia and Eastern Europe, known as Communism. The valiant and sardonic citizens of the former Communist countries - surrounded by an invisible network of secret police, threatened with arrest, imprisonment and forced labour, confronted by an economic system that left shops empty, and bombarded with ludicrous state propaganda - turned joke-telling into an art form. They used jokes as a coded way of speaking the truth.HAMMER AND TICKLE takes us on a unique journey through the Communist era (1917-1989), and tells its real history through subversive jokes and joke-tellers, many of whom ended up in the gulags. It is also illustrated with a combination of rare and previously unpublished archive material, political cartoons, caricatures, photographs and state-sponsored propaganda. Humorous, culturally poignant and historically revealing, this is the story of a political system that was (almost) laughed out of existence.
El hámster maligno (Antihéroes S.L. #Volumen 1)
by Dashiell Fernández PenaAntihéroes S.L. Salvando el mundo... ¡de chiripa! ¡Una nueva serie de primeras lecturas para partirse de risa! Leo León se pasa el día leyendo los cómics de su superhéroe favorito, Superjul, ¡el mejor héroe del mundo! Superjul puede volar, correr a velocidades supersónicas y es ultramegafuerte. Vaya, ¡que es superguay! O eso creía Leo hasta que lo conoce de verdad... y descubre que Superjul en realidad podría llamarse Superpasota, Supervago o Superpatoso, por ejemplo. Además, su traje está hecho polvo y tiene un buen barrigote. ¿De veras que este rarito tiene que proteger Dreamsville del crimen? ¡Pues estamos apañados! ________________ Una serie que enganchará a los más pequeños: Historias con ilustraciones al más puro estilo cómic en todas las páginas. Aventuras divertidas llenas de valores. Un texto perfecto para niños y niñas que ya leen solos. Empieza a leer, ¡tú también puedes ser un Antihéroe!