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Give Up: 150 Demotivation Posters
by Paul Koehorst Ivor JonesDo sugar-coated lies and cliché photos actually motivate you to do better? Of course not! If you want to get ahead in life, you need to know how things really work. You need posters that reveal the cold, hard truth. You need to be demotivated. By offering demotivational messages accompanied by ridiculous images, the author turns the motivational message upside down with very funny results. Faux versions of the kitschy motivational poster are already a wildly popular Internet phenomenon, but never have they been done with such savage humor as in this book. The author offers a variety of entertaining options, such as a baseball player eating dirt while missing a fly ball paired with the caption "Humiliation: There's no Point Trying, You Just Look Ridiculous." Another poster pairs a distressed surgeon with, "Failure: Sometimes it is a Matter of Life and Death."
Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer
by P. J. O'RourkeIn the spirit of his savagely funny and national best-seller Parliament of Whores, Give War a Chance is P. J. O'Rourke's number one New York Times bestselling follow-up. O'Rourke runs hilariously amok by tackling the death of Communism, sanctimonious liberals, and America's perennial bad guy Saddam Hussein in a series of classic dispatches from his coverage of the 1991 Gulf War. Here is our most mordant and unnervingly funny political satirist on: Kuwait City after the Gulf War: "It looked like all the worst rock bands in the world had stayed there at the same time." On Saddam Hussein, O'Rourke muses: "He's got chemical weapons filled with ... chemicals. Maybe he's got The Bomb. And missiles that can reach Riyadh, Tel Aviv, Spokane. Stock up on nonperishable foodstuffs. Grab those Diet Coke cans you were supposed to take to the recycling center and fill them up with home heating oil. Bury the Hummel figurines in the yard. We're all going to die. Details at eleven."
Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice and Alcohol-Free Beer
by P. J. O'RourkeThe author dismantles victims ranging from backpack liberals to Lee Iacocca and surveys the collapse of communism, celebrity, and liberalism.
Given Our History: A Novel
by Kristyn J. MillerIn this sparkling romance, two professors with a complicated past get a second chance to prove history won't repeat itself.Assistant professor Clara Fernsby is nothing if not driven. She’s wanted to teach history since she was fourteen, and she hasn’t let anything stand in her way—not even the love of her life. And it all paid off in the end, because she landed a well-paid position at a private liberal arts college fresh out of grad school, and this year, she’s finally up for tenure. When Theodore Harrison is brought on for the fall semester as a visiting scholar, it’s an unexpected blast from Clara’s past. She hasn’t spoken to Teddy since rejecting him over a phone call ten years ago. Now that he’s here, she’s reminded of their time together at every turn: autumns spent at a sleepaway camp in the Blue Ridge Mountains, trading battered history books and burned CDs with the quiet, dark-haired boy she once fell in love with. That boy might’ve been her best friend, but the man teaching HIST-322 is a total stranger—or so she thinks. As they spend evenings working on a shared project and brainstorming over drinks at a college bar, Clara realizes she’s at risk of falling all over again. Given their history, she knows there’s every chance he’s not interested. But history’s all down to interpretation, and this time around, she’s got no intentions of repeating it.
Giving It All: A Naked Men Novel
by Christi BarthChristi Barth’s smoking-hot contemporary romance series continues as the five best friends who survived a tragedy as teenagers take to their Naked Men podcast to open up about women. In Giving It All, the group’s globe-trotting hunk discovers that you need to go home to find love. Logan Marsh never stays in one place for long. Through his family’s foundation, Logan spends his days traveling to the world’s most dangerous places to deliver disaster relief, which really puts a damper on his sex life—until he reconnects with his high-school crush. Stranded together in the Caribbean, they enjoy a steamy fling that awakens feelings Logan has ignored for too long. But family drama calls him away from her sweet embrace . . . or so he thinks. Brooke Gallagher loved being a home economics teacher and cheerleading coach. Then an unexpected tragedy forced her to take some time off. Now she’s back in D.C. and despite the intensity of her tropical encounter with Logan, she’s shocked to bump into him again. Logan’s dealing with his own issues (including a newly discovered half-sister) and he’s itching to get back on the road. More than anything, Brooke wants to be there for him. But first, he has to decide if love is enough to keep him in one place.
Giving Off Sparks (Ashton Heights Fire Ser. #2)
by Sami LeeAshton Heights, Australia...where the flames of passion are burning out of control!Sometimes love needs a spark. For one firefighter, she's the spark. One problem . . . she doesn't date firefighters. Giving Off Sparks, is Book 2 of the Ashton Heights Fire series from award winning Australian erotic romance author Sami Lee.Firefighter Rob McConnell doesn't believe in love at first sight, until he meets Sierra Lawson and his common sense goes up in flames. The woman sets his heart alight and he could swear the feeling is mutual. But Sierra has one rule that makes a relationship between them unworkable--she doesn't date firefighters. Still, Rob thinks the spark between them deserves a chance to grow and he'll use every seductive talent he has to convince Sierra to take a chance on love.Sierra doesn't believe in taking chances. Her late fiancé took them on the job as a cop and wound up dead. Knowing she can't go through that kind of heartache again, Sierra vows never to date another man in a dangerous profession. But when hunky firefighter Rob bursts into her life, her list of rules looks set to burn up like dry kindling. The man is temptation personified, and an affair seems inevitable.Guarding her heart? Impossible.This contemporary romantic comedy, set in Australia contains sexy firefighters. Giving Off Sparks is not intended for readers under the age of 18.Previously Published: (2014) Sami Lee
Giving Out Yards: The Art of Complaint, Irish Style
by Tara FlynnIn Giving Out Yards, Tara Flynn puts paid to the long-debated question of what makes us Irish, nailing it in one collective and hilarious grumble-fest. Her razor-sharp wit and keen analysis of those topics that bring us out in a rash - and running to the phone/laptop/neighbour for a healthy dose of spleen-venting - leaves no moan unturned.Strictly non-solutions-based (if we found those, what on earth would we give out about?), here you'll find plenty of advice on how best to milk your grievances, with handy lists and tips, and a cast of characters including Tom the Taxi Driver, Mairead Who Loves the Sound of Her Own Voice and Ciaran the Keyboard Warrior.If you can't beat them - 'That shower in the Dail', 'the other shower', the Angelus bongs, cyclists, potholes, the three Ds (drips, drink and drugs), criminals of all collar-hue, to name but a few - then you might as well knock the craic out of them. So look no further: the whine-line is open ...
Giving Out Yards: The Art of Complaint, Irish Style
by Tara FlynnIn Giving Out Yards, Tara Flynn puts paid to the long-debated question of what makes us Irish, nailing it in one collective and hilarious grumble-fest. Her razor-sharp wit and keen analysis of those topics that bring us out in a rash - and running to the phone/laptop/neighbour for a healthy dose of spleen-venting - leaves no moan unturned.Strictly non-solutions-based (if we found those, what on earth would we give out about?), here you'll find plenty of advice on how best to milk your grievances, with handy lists and tips, and a cast of characters including Tom the Taxi Driver, Mairead Who Loves the Sound of Her Own Voice and Ciaran the Keyboard Warrior.If you can't beat them - 'That shower in the Dail', 'the other shower', the Angelus bongs, cyclists, potholes, the three Ds (drips, drink and drugs), criminals of all collar-hue, to name but a few - then you might as well knock the craic out of them. So look no further: the whine-line is open ...
Gladis
by María AcostaUn asesino peculiar, un romance de ensueño y una pava con mucho carácter... ¡Preparaos para el desmadre! Valeria Garza es guardia civil. Vive sola en la granja que heredó de su abuela, con la mascota que heredó también de su abuela. Por si fuera poco, acaba de cumplir los 40 y hace tiempo que suspira por el veterinario del pueblo,: Hugo, un vasco con mucho encanto... y varios años menor que ella. Pero si Vale creía que lo peor que podía pasarle era correr el riesgo de convertirse en una asaltacunas, va a tener que replanteárselo, porque cuando convives con una pava con ideas propias y tus compañeros de trabajo se confabulan para «arreglar» tu vida sentimental, solo te falta una cosa# que un asesino empiece a matar en tu pueblo. En los blogs...«Gladis, esa preciosa pava, os hará disfrutar y reflexionar mucho más de los que podáis imaginar con sus cavilaciones creando una novela sorprendente y muy recomendable.»Blog Leemosjuntos
Gladys the Magic Chicken
by Adam Rubin Adam RexFrom the mega-bestselling author of Dragons Love Tacos and the mega-bestselling illustrator of The Legend of Rock Paper Scissors, comes this hilarious new picture book about an irresistible chicken who unexpectedly finds herself on an epic journey during Ancient Times.Gladys the chicken must be magic. After all, for everyone who encounters her, a wish is granted. The Shepherd Boy wishes to be beautiful, the Brave Swordsman wishes to join the Royal Guard, the Purple Pooh-bah wishes for his only daughter to be happy, and the Learned Princess wishes to escape the palace. And one by one, each of these wishes comes true. But . . . is Gladys really magic? Or is everyone making their own fortune? Either way, it adds up to one heck of an adventure for a chicken named Gladys. Blending a classic storybook feel with a thoroughly modern sense of humor, this side-splitting read aloud is perfect for anyone who wishes to see magic in the world—even if they are only looking at a chicken.
Glamourpuss: The Enchanting World of Kitty Wigs
by Julie JacksonAccording to cuteoverload.com, we have officially reached "totally new levels of redonkulessness." The Kitty Wig crazesprung from the feverish imagination of Julie Jackson and her purring partner in crimehas swept the globe. Glamourpuss presents 60 stylish portraits showcasing furry models in the most fetching custom-made cat wigs ever created. The chic felines in this delightfully odd book answer the age-old question: what on earth do cats do all day? Make no bones about itthese utterly fashionable minxes are the hottest pet trend since cats in hats!
Glamourpuss
by Sarah WeeksA sassy, delicious picture-book gem from the award–winning author of So B. It and the Caldecott Medal–winning illustrator and author of Stitches.Glamourpuss has it all. She has style. She has charm. And she knows how to strike a pose. Glamourpuss loves being the center of attention. So when an unwelcome guest (a dog, no less!) steals the spotlight with some tasteless bow-wowing and undignified tail-wagging, Glamourpuss worries that she’s going to fall out of fashion. Is there room for only one superstar in this mansion? When Glamourpuss makes her most majestic move to find out, the result is pure purrfection.“A joy to read aloud, this book features sophisticated language and plenty of space for the artist’s visual antics. A master of the page turn, Small provides hilarious scenes of ostentatious settings and preening, as well as moving moments of self-doubt . . . A blissful embrace will warm readers’ hearts at the conclusion of this smart and funny tale.” —School Library Journal“Sophisticated vocabulary and pop-culture references may well fly over the heads of children, making this fizzy, exuberant entertainment a treat that is best shared by an adult with a penchant for screwball comedy.” —Kirkus Reviews“Weeks’s narration is fittingly over-the-top and helps build empathic envy for a character who could otherwise come off as a spoiled brat. But it’s Small’s exuberant ink line and strategic washes of colors that make this book.” —Publishers Weekly
The Glass Scientists: Volume Two (The Glass Scientists #2)
by S. H. Cotugno"A wickedly sharp adventure!" —ND Stevenson, New York Times bestselling creator of NimonaThe second book in the YA graphic novel series about star-crossed lovers and misunderstood monsters, which is already a webcomic phenomenon!All Dr. Henry Jekyll wanted to do was make London a safe place for rogue scientists. That&’s why he and his best friend Robert created the Society for Arcane Sciences in the first place, and why their upcoming exhibition to show the public all the incredible things they can do for the world is so important. But ever since Frankenstein arrived, nothing has gone according to plan….And now Jekyll&’s dirty little secret is about to become a huge problem. Hyde, his devilishly devious alter-ego, is fed up with being jerked around and Jekyll not letting him out to play. And he&’s just discovered a new trick that will allow him to take the driver&’s seat of their shared body. With Hyde behind the wheel, it&’s not just the impeding exhibition and the future of the society in jeopardy. The ruffian threatens to destroy something that&’s even more dear to Jekyll: his relationship with Robert. Will Jekyll be able to regain control of his mind, body, and life, or will he lose everything he has been fighting for?Volume Two collects Chapters 8-12 of this beloved webcomic, which is available in print for the first time ever. It also features loads of exclusive bonus content including a brand-new prequel story (Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde Meet Dracula!!!), a behind-the-scenes look at the comic&’s origins, and more!
The Glass-Sided Ants' Nest: The Glass-sided Ants' Nest, The Old English Peep Show, And The Sinful Stones (The James Pibble Mysteries #1)
by Peter DickinsonWinner of the CWA Gold Dagger: Scotland Yard&’s James Pibble puzzles over the murder of a pygmy tribesman in the middle of London in this &“first class&” mystery (The Times Literary Supplement). Oddball cases are James Pibble&’s specialty. But the brutal bludgeoning of the revered elder of a New Guinea tribesman may be his strangest yet. The corpse, in striped pajamas, lies in the middle of a room completely absent of furniture. Seven women squat on the floorboards. One knits. Another sits cross-legged at his feet. They all chant incantations in a strange language. The murder weapon, a wooden balustrade ornament in the shape of an owl, could have been wielded by any of the myriad suspects Pibble meets at Flagg Terrace, the London residence where the Ku family currently lives. And the only clue seems to be an Edwardian penny. So who killed bearded, four-foot-tall Aaron Ku? Everyone seems to have an alibi, including a local real estate agent, a professional escort, and an anthropologist whose marriage into the tribe was forbidden. In a house where men and women live in separate quarters, Pibble must follow a hierarchy of primitive rituals and gender-role reversals to unmask a surprising killer. The Glass-Sided Ants&’ Nest is the 1st book in the James Pibble Mysteries, but you may enjoy reading the series in any order.
Glass Slippers (Sisters Ever After #2)
by Leah CypessThe second book in the Sisters Ever After series of fairy tale retellings from the point of view of the siblings in the background, this is the thrilling story of Cinderella's never-before-mentioned third "evil" step-sister, Tirza. Meet Cinderella&’s third &“wicked&” stepsister, Tirza. For years, Tirza has lived with the shame of what her family did to Cinderella. Against everyone&’s advice, Cinderella—now Queen Ella—took a chance on young Tirza. She gave Tirza a home in the castle instead of banishing her. The queen told everyone Tirza was good and kind, not cruel like her older sisters. But now Queen Ella&’s famous glass slippers are missing, and there&’s only one suspect. . . . Tirza may have tried them on . . . but she didn&’t steal them. Now she must find the true thief before she loses her royal home. But as Tirza gets closer to the truth, she finds herself getting closer to something else: her sisters, who might not be quite as evil as Cinderella claims.
The Glauerdoom Moor (Super Dungeon #3)
by David WestFrom the epic fantasy world of Super Dungeon comes the third novel in a riveting new series. Sai doesn&’t want to be a hero. She wants to steal the greatest jewel in Crystalia. But when a Royal Warden sets the perfect trap, Sai is forced to take a job from King Jasper himself—to rescue his daughter Princess Citrine from the evil Von Drakk. Escape should be easy for an accomplished thief, but the Royal Warden refuses to let her out of his sight until they find the stolen princess.Sai thrives in the unsavory places in Crystalia Castle, but those pale in comparison to the Glauerdoom Moor. Witches and zombies lurk around every corner, and the swamp itself seems against them. Worse than the Moor itself is the tyrant who rules it on behalf of the Dark Consul. The undead Baron Von Drakk has a host of evil creatures at his command, and powerful dark magic of his own. How can Sai defeat someone who took out an entire army, led by the great Princess Citrine herself?
Gli anni brevi
by Dan AlatorreL’autore di bestseller Dan Alatorre colpisce ancora! In questo racconto esilarante e commovente, due genitori insegnano alla loro bambina a crescere e... si rendono conto che non è così facile. Si parte dall’allenamento popò per arrivare alle gite nei parchi a tema. E arriva inevitabilmente la consapevolezza che la piccola sta crescendo... Vi riconoscerete in questa storia in mille aspetti. Preparatevi a ridere e piangere, magari anche nell’arco della stessa pagina. “Gli anni brevi” racconta episodi di oggi, con uno sguardo verso il futuro. "Non avrei mai detto che una storia sull’allenamento popò potesse essere così divertente" - Wain T, Tampa FL
A Glimpse of Tiger
by Herman RaucherThe international bestselling author of Summer of ’42 delivers a darkly comic love story. “A strange and moving tale with a shocker climax” (The Boston Globe). Tiger is a nineteen-year-old runaway who comes to the big city to start anew. There she meets Luther, a quirky con artist with charm to burn. Together they pull small scams and petty crimes on the populace of New York in the 1970s, making their money and falling in love. But a con artist is a con artist seven days a week, and soon Tiger finds herself wondering if Luther will ever be able to settle down and start building a life with her. This mesmerizing, surprising novel explores two unforgettable people as they live and love in Manhattan—and enchants readers with a romance impossible to forget. “An utterly different contemporary love story.” —Publishers Weekly “This hustles and hypes in a very attractive fashion.” —Kirkus Reviews
Glimpsed
by G.F. MillerPerfect for fans of Geekerella and Jenn Bennett, this charming, sparkly rom-com follows a wish-granting teen forced to question if she&’s really doing good—and if she has the power to make her own dreams come true.Charity is a fairy godmother. She doesn&’t wear a poofy dress or go around waving a wand, but she does make sure the deepest desires of the student population at Jack London High School come true. And she knows what they want even better than they do because she can glimpse their perfect futures. But when Charity fulfills a glimpse that gets Vindhya crowned homecoming queen, it ends in disaster. Suddenly, every wish Charity has ever granted is called into question. Has she really been helping people? Where do these glimpses come from, anyway? What if she&’s not getting the whole picture? Making this existential crisis way worse is Noah—the adorkable and (in Charity&’s opinion) diabolical ex of one of her past clients—who blames her for sabotaging his prom plans and claims her interventions are doing more harm than good. He demands that she stop granting wishes and help him get his girl back. At first, Charity has no choice but to play along. But soon, Noah becomes an unexpected ally in getting to the bottom of the glimpses. Before long, Charity dares to call him her friend…and even starts to wish he were something more. But can the fairy godmother ever get the happily ever after?
Glimpses: A Comedy Writer's Take on Life, Love, and All That Spiritual Stuff
by Matt WilliamsFrom the award-winning creator of Roseanne, Home Improvement, and several blockbuster films, comes Glimpses, a collection of stories filled with hope, humanity, and humor and an invitation to see goodness and grace in our everyday moments.Matt Williams never focused on red carpets and glitzy parties during his successful Hollywood career—writer/producer of The Cosby Show and A Different World, creator of Roseanne and Home Improvement, producer of successful movies and plays. Looking back, Williams realized that throughout his life what sustained him, guided him, and inspired him were divine glimpses of goodness and grace. Williams says, &“When I started my quest to find little glimpses of God in everyday life, the clouds didn&’t open, and a voice like rolling thunder didn&’t call down to me. But I did start noticing simple acts of kindness, moments of grace that reflected God&’s loving presence in the world. . . . This practice of noticing these glimpses changed my life. Instead of blasting my way through the week—competing, hurrying and scurrying, fighting for my personal space, my self-care, and my ego-based impulses—I started consciously looking for God&’s goodness. And I found it everywhere.&” From a stranger in a casting office predicting Matt would succeed at a time when he felt like giving up, to deciding to work with Tim Allen after vowing not to work with another comedian after Roseanne, to learning what love really meant after &“Spirit&” told him he would marry Angelina—Williams realized that these &“glimpses of God&” have served as the loving, quiet providence that watched over him. Our job, then, is to pay attention to our lives. Regardless of your beliefs, Glimpses will inspire you to look for and find God in your daily life.
The Glitch: A Novel
by Elisabeth CohenA fast, funny, deeply hilarious debut--The Glitch is the story of a high-profile, TED-talking, power-posing Silicon Valley CEO and mother of two who has it all under control, until a woman claiming to be a younger version of herself appears, causing a major glitch in her over-scheduled, over-staffed, over-worked life.Shelley Stone, wife, mother, and CEO of the tech company Conch, is committed to living her most efficient life. She takes her "me time" at 3:30 a.m. on the treadmill, power naps while waiting in line, schedules sex with her husband for when they are already changing clothes, and takes a men's multivitamin because she refuses to participate in her own oppression. But when she meets a young woman also named Shelley Stone who has the same exact scar on her shoulder, Shelley has to wonder: Is she finally buckling under all the pressure? Completely original, brainy, and laugh-out-loud funny, The Glitch introduces one of the most memorable characters in recent fiction and offers a riotous look into work, marriage, and motherhood in our absurd world.
Glitter Every Day: 365 Quotes from Women I Love
by Andy CohenThe Instant New York Times BestsellerFrom Andy Cohen, the New York Times bestselling author and host of Watch What Happens Live comes an inspiring collection of daily quotes from the larger-than-life women that defined his life, offering inspiration, affirmation, and (just enough) intoxication to make any day shine bright – the perfect gift for the holidays! Andy Cohen has made a career, and a life, out of making the ordinary extraordinary. The inspiration for this fabulous view of the world has always come from the incredible women (from his mother to Madonna) he loves. In Glitter Every Day Andy shares his most needed words of wisdom from his favorite icons for every day, just in time to kick off the new year!Andy not only gathers 365 sayings and quotes from the icons, thought leaders, Real Housewives and legendary celebs that fuel his fun, he writes about the people and experiences that have made him live one of the most joyous lives that any little boy growing up in St. Louis could dream of so that you can, too. And like Andy himself, Glitter Every Day is irresistible, infusing your day with a laugh, a pep talk and a shot(ski) of fun.So pour a drink, put on your heels, and always remember to let yourself shine.
Glitterati
by Oliver K. LangmeadA Clockwork Orange and RuPaul's Drag Race meet Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind in this fabulous dystopian fable about fashion, family and feckless billionaires.Simone is one of the Glitterati, the elite living lives of luxury and leisure. Slave to the ever-changing tides – and brutal judgements - of fashion, he is immaculate. To be anything else is to be unfashionable, and no one wants to be unfashionable, or even worse, ugly… When Simone accidentally starts a new fashion with a nosebleed at a party, another Glitterati takes the credit. Soon their rivalry threatens to raze their opulent utopia to the ground, as no one knows how to be vicious like the beautiful ones. Enter a world of the most fantastic costumes, grand palaces in the sky, the grandest parties known to mankind and the unbreakable rules of how to eat ice cream. A fabulous dystopian fable about fashion, family and the feckless billionaire class.
Glitterbutt the Farting Unicorn
by Ivy EricksonEveryone knows that horses fart. Donkeys definitely fart. But royal unicorns? Glitterbelle is a new recruit to the princess&’s royal team of unicorns. She&’s expected to be regal and lovely and perfect all the time, but she&’s hiding a very interesting secret—she happens to be a frequent and fervent farter. No matter how brilliant and rainbow-y her toots may be, she worries that one day they will cause a big stink in the royal court. She can try to muffle the sound with layers and layers of pants or conceal the magnificent glitter cloud that emerges behind her, but even Glitterbelle knows that secrets, like farts, have a way of squeaking out. When Glitterbelle&’s worst fear comes true on Unicorn Training Day and her glorious glittering rainbow farts leave the royal family blushing with embarrassment and her fellow unicorns laughing in scorn, she is cast out of the castle with the unfortunate nickname &“Glitterbutt.&” With her unicorn dreams dashed, Glitterbelle must wander the forests and villages in search of acceptance, respect, and the confidence to be who she really is. This uplifting story about the struggle to fit in and the joy of finding true friends will have children laughing and learning at the same time.
A global conspiracy kidnapped my dog so that I wouldn't speak of what I know
by Roberto López-HerreroThe sequel to "Antonio mató a Luis en la cocina con un hacha porque le debía dinero". Flanagan McPhee's adventure continues in a time travel nonsense with his son and his granchild from the future and his granpa from the past. An homenaje to Asimov.