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How To Do Everything: (From the Man Who Should Know: Red Green)
by Red GreenIt may not be great literature -- but at least it's handy.From the mastermind of the hugely successful The Red Green Show comes a book that is going to change your life, or at least make you laugh -- a lot -- whenever you pick it up. And people are going to be picking it up for many years to come, because -- like the long-rerunning TV shows -- there's not a topical gag in the book anywhere, so it's going to be funny for the forseeable future. And as its title suggests, this is also a terribly useful book. Among its very many gems of advice, it shows how to cook with acetylene, take revenge on a lawn mower, measure your hat size with a two-by-four, reduce your carbon footprint (it involves moving into a fruit tree located next to a liquor store) and make your own alternative fuel (which involves an empty propane tank and a full septic one).From the Hardcover edition.
How To Draw Cartoons and Caricatures
by Mark LinleyLearn to draw the fun way! Like almost everyone in the world, you are bursting with raw artistic talent just waiting to be released. In a few deft sweeps of your pencil, capture the character of your 'victim'. Use swift strokes to create a face that has instant appeal. Exaggerate the features to make a comical caricature. Brighten up someone's day with your own tiny bit of magic!"Yes, you can do it," says Mark Linley, "and I show you exactly how!"
How To Dress a Dragon
by Thelma Lynne GodinThis fantastical story about a little boy trying to dress his pet dragon is heartwarming, imaginative, and full of laughs! If you have to dress a dragon, you must be prepared to catch him as he flies by. Also, beware of ticklish toes, shirts with buttons, and hats that do not fit neatly between his horns! In this charming, second-person narrative, our little boy hero imparts his infinite knowledge of how to dress a dragon, a task that isn't quite as easy as it may seem. With helpful hints like, You may have to tickle-tackle him to the floor and give him belly kisses, and warnings like, Dragons do not like shirts. But they do like capes ! this story is not only delightfully entertaining, but extremely endearing. Author Thelma Lynne Godin and illustrator Eric Barclay come together perfectly to bring this fantasy to life!
How To Entice An Enchantress: Duchess Diaries 3 (Duchess Diaries #4)
by Karen HawkinsA wonderfully witty and seductive retelling of Beauty And The Beast, Scottish style! Fans of Julia Quinn, Monica McCarty and Julie Garwood will be unable to resist this New York Times bestseller. The Duchess Diaries are sure to delight: a dazzlingly romantic, sexy, and Scottish spin on fairytales.Scarred in the tragic accident that took his wife, Lord Kirk has vehemently shunned society ever since. For years he's bitterly hidden himself away, until he meets his young, dazzling neighbour, Dahlia Balfour. A breath of fresh air, she might be the one woman to finally help him forget his past. But how can a recluse attract such an enchantress? Kirk turns to the Duchess of Roxburghe to transform him into the hero of Dahlia's dreams. Faced with her reformed neighbour at the Duchess' ball, Dahlia can't believe her eyes. Seeing him in a whole new light, an ardent kiss leaves her speechless. But a jealous love rival maliciously interferes, threatening their new-found love. Can Dahlia prove herself as a passionate woman, who sees past the scars of the man she devotedly loves? Don't miss the rest of the glorious Duchess Diaries series: Princess In Disguise, How To Capture A Countess, and How To Pursue A Princess. And mingle with more royalty in her sensational Princes of Oxenburg series.
How To Keep Dinosaurs: The perfect mix of humour and science
by Robert Mash'Who could resist a handbook about potential pets that has a little symbol for "likes children" and a separate one for "likes children to eat"... wonderful' GUARDIANHollywood and the popular press would have us believe that all dinosaurs are gigantic, hostile and untameable. In fact, there are many species that make charming and even useful companions: Velociraptor - a splendid, loyal, fierce, friendDeinonychus - will not eat dog food (dogs are another matter)Tyrannosaurus - least suitable to keep; will need special licenceOrnithomimus - an appealing first dinosaur for the child anxious for her first rideThis book advises you which dinosaur is right for you and your home, from the city apartment dweller looking for a lap pet, to the country estate owner looking to tighten up on security. HOW TO KEEP DINOSAURS is a bestselling guide, packed with the sort of information keen dinosaur keepers crave - from feeding and housing to curing common ailments, breeding and showing your animal. The author, a zoologist with extensive experience of dinosaurs, has provided a timely and much-needed source book for all those who keep dinosaurs and for the huge numbers who are contemplating getting one. It is as essential to every dinosaur keeper as a stout shovel and a tranquilliser rifle.
How To Make Friends and Oppress People: Classic Travel Advice for the Gentleman Adventurer
by Vic DarkwoodNo traveler to date has matched the intrepid 19th-century gentleman for his bravery, derring-do, and ability to make a perfect cup of tea in the most malarial of climes. But the sun has set on the golden age of exploration, and the records of these fearless, mustachioed adventurers have vanished from the shelves. In their place have appeared timorous travel guides written by authors who could hardly locate Rhodesia on a classroom globe let alone comment on the proper etiquette of an Italian duel.Now, with the publication of Vic Darkwood's How to Make Friends and Oppress People, at long last today's aspiring adventurers can avail themselves of the best of classic travel advice on such invaluable topics as:-Using Anthills as Ovens-Hunting Elephants and Hippos with a Javelin-Sleeping on a Billiard Table as a Means of Avoiding Vermin -Digging a Well with a Pointy StickFully illustrated with over 150 drawings and woodcuts, this inestimable collection of wisdom drawn from actual 19th- and early 20th-century guidebooks will prove essential to any traveler looking to enjoy his excursion abroad or hoping to avoid death at the hands of inhospitable natives.
How To Pull Girls: An Insider Guide To Success With Women
by Julia BruniFor many men, changes in society have made it harder to get to know women and pulling has become more difficult than it's ever been. The result is that many capable and otherwise successful young men feel frustrated by not having a girlfriend - or even a lay. How to Pull Girls gives the lowdown on how to meet and charm girls. Whether you need to relax and set women at ease, or to understand how girls think and what motivates them, Julia Bruni has all the insider information, analysing the pulling game from every angle. How to Pull Girls is packed full with useful strategies and techniques for every stage of the women-charming mission and will transform you from a Mr Normal to a James Bond in a matter of minutes. This is the essential pulling tool kit 'Women, be warned. Julia's on their side and she is telling them our secrets!'' Kathy Lette
How To Pursue A Princess: Duchess Diaries 2 (Duchess Diaries #3)
by Karen HawkinsA wonderfully romantic and playful twist on Little Red Riding Hood, from New York Times bestseller Karen Hawkins, that fans of Julia Quinn, Monica McCarty and Julie Garwood will adore. The Duchess Diaries are sure to delight: a dazzlingly romantic, sexy, and Scottish spin on fairytales.Lily Balfour always swore she'd never marry, but her father's mountainous debts leave her no choice. The Earl of Huxley, a wealthy and perfectly pleasant widower handpicked by her godmother, the Duchess of Roxburghe, seems the obvious suitor. Until the roguish Wulfinski arrives on the scene and changes everything... As soon as the passionate scoundrel casts his possessive gaze over her, Lily knows she's in trouble. A prince masquerading as a mere pauper, Wulfinski vows to seduce the elusive beauty, no matter what the cost. Used to getting what he wants, he determines to use every cunning trick he can muster. Caught between sense and passion, her head and her heart, will Lily give in to romance, or riches? Don't miss the rest of the sparkling Duchess Diaries series: Princess In Disguise, How To Capture A Countess, and How To Entice An Enchantress. And mingle with more royalty in her spectacular Princes of Oxenburg series.
How To Really Stink At Work
by Jeff Foxworthy Brian Hartt"New York Times"-bestselling humorist Foxworthy offers a hilarious, illustrated guide to having the most fun possible at work while doing the least--without getting fired. Illustrations throughout.
How To Ride A Dragon's Storm
by Cressida CowellHiccup Horrendous Haddock III, everyone's favorite reluctant Viking hero, has three months, five days and six hours to discover America, get back to Berk, save his father, battle Polarserpents and win the annual Inter-Tribal Friendly Swimming Race. Can he do it?
How To Scare The Pants Off Your Pets (Ghost Buddy #3)
by Henry Winkler Lin OliverA middle schooler tries to teach a ghost some responsibility—but it doesn’t go as planned—in this tale by the New York Times–bestselling authors!When Billy Broccoli finds out his personal ghost, Hoover Porterhouse, is failing Responsibility, Billy decides it’s his mission to help Hoover turn his grade around. But how? Then inspiration hits. Billy is going to get Hoover a pet. There’s only one catch—the Hoove scares dogs out of their fur, birds out of their wings, and fish out of their gills. If Billy can’t find the perfect pet, how will Hoover ever learn and make the grade?Praise for Ghost Buddy: Zero to Hero“An endearingly uncool hero . . . Readers will root for Billy.” —Publishers Weekly
How To Steal a Dragon: The perfect read this Halloween! (Villains Academy #2)
by Ryan HammondBeing BAD has never felt so GOOD! The second book in the villainously funny, highly illustrated young middle-grade series from author-illustrator Ryan Hammond. For fans of Amelia Fang, Dog Man and Grimwood. Don&’t miss the third installment, How to Win the Gruesome Games, out in April 2024! &‘A charmingly villainous adventure about friendship, school and unspeakable evil.&’ Louie Stowell, author of Loki: A Bad God&’s Guide to Being Good &‘Criminally fun!&’ Danny Wallace, author of The Day the Screens Went Blank It&’s the start of the winter term and there&’s a new teacher in town at Villains Academy – the notorious dragon-rider Felix Frostbite. Class Z are in awe of him and his lessons on venomous beasts and mythical creatures, but werewolf Bram is suspicious. Soon Bram and his friends the Cereal Killers uncover Felix Frostbite&’s evil plan to steal all the dragons from the Wicked Woods and leave Villains Academy undefended. Have the gang learnt enough to outsmart their troublesome teacher, or will Felix Frostbite&’s heist go down in villain history?PRAISE FOR VILLAINS ACADEMY: &‘Frightfully fun – Villains Academy had me cackling from the very first page!&’ Katie Tsang, co-author of the Dragon Realm series &‘I loved the spookily funny Villains Academy. It's a work of (evil) genius!&’ Jenny McLachlan, author of The Land of Roar &‘Heart-warming and hilarious – Villains Academy is a spookalicious treat, set to terrify every other book on your shelf.&’ Jack Meggitt-Phillips, author of The Beast and the Bethany &‘An absolute HOOT! Evil laughs aplenty!&’ Sophy Henn, author and illustrator of the Pizazz series &‘A joyful hug of a book with genuine warmth and heart.&’ Hannah Gold, author of The Last Bear &‘A delightfully fun adventure with real heart and humour.&’ Benjamin Dean, author of Me, My Dad and the End of the Rainbow &‘Immersive, funny, and with a cast of scarily loveable characters, Villains Academy made me feel like I was IN the book!&’ Mel Taylor-Bessent, author of The Christmas Carrolls &‘A fabulously funny adventure. I want to enrol in Villains Academy!&’ Nick Sheridan, author of The Case of the Runaway Brain &‘Wickedly funny and full of quirky yet loveable characters.&’ Iona Rangeley, author of Einstein the Penguin &‘This is a brilliant, bonkers work packed with top-notch illustration.&’ Jack Noel, author and illustrator of the Comic Classics series &‘Full of wonderful characters, Villains Academy is such a FUN read!&’ Rikin Parekh, illustrator of The Worst Class in the World series
How To Talk To A Widower: A Richard and Judy bookclub choice
by Jonathan TropperA stunning novel of love, loss, laughter and too much bourbon from the author of THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU.When Doug married Hailey - beautiful, smart and ten years older - he left his carefree Manhattan life to live in the suburbs with Hailey and her teenage son, Russ. Three years later, at 29, Doug has been a widower for twelve months and just wants to drown himself in self-pity and Jack Daniels. But his family has other ideas...Russ is furious with Doug for not adopting him, and has fallen in with a bad crowd. Claire, Doug's irrepressible, pregnant twin sister, has left her husband and, uninvited, moved in with Doug. And their sister Debbie is determined to have the perfect wedding, at any cost. Soon, Doug finds himself trying to forge a relationship with Russ, reconnect with his own eccentric family, and reluctantly edges back into the complicated world of dating...
How To Talk To A Widower: A Richard and Judy bookclub choice
by Jonathan TropperWhen Doug married Hailey - beautiful, smart and ten years older - he left his carefree Manhattan life to live in the suburbs with Hailey and her teenage son, Russ. Three years later, at 29, Doug has been a widower for twelve months and just wants to drown himself in self-pity and Jack Daniels. But his family has other ideas...Russ is furious with Doug for not adopting him, and has fallen in with a bad crowd. Claire, Doug's irrepressible, pregnant twin sister, has left her husband and, uninvited, moved in with Doug. And their sister Debbie is determined to have the perfect wedding, at any cost. Soon, Doug finds himself trying to forge a relationship with Russ, reconnect with his own eccentric family, and reluctantly edges back into the complicated world of dating...(p) 2007 Brilliance Audio
How To Train Your Dragon: How to Betray a Dragon's Hero
by Cressida CowellIn Hiccup the Viking's misadventures, the stakes have never been higher, and it's friend versus foe to decide the fate of the world. In this, the penultimate title in the amazing story arc that began with How to Train Your Dragon, Hiccup is faced with a personal dilemma against the backdrop of an impending battle and the possible destruction of everything he knows.
How To Woo A Reluctant Lady: An irresistibly sexy Regency romance! (The Hellions of Halstead Hall #3)
by Sabrina JeffriesIf you love Julia Quinn's Bridgerton, you'll be captivated by Sabrina Jeffries' Hellions of Hallstead Hall!'Anyone who loves romance must read Sabrina Jeffries!' Lisa Kleypas, New York Times bestselling authorThe third book in the Hellions of Halstead Hall series by New York Times bestseller Sabrina Jeffries. Sabrina's wonderfully witty, sexy historicals will be loved by fans of Sarah MacLean, Eloisa James and Julia Quinn.When a charming rogue proposes she marry him to meet her grandmother's ultimatum, the Sharpe clan's strong-willed sister makes a tempting counteroffer that preserves her inheritance - and ignites his imagination. Lady Minerva Sharpe has the perfect plan to thwart her grandmother's demands: become engaged to a rogue! Surely Gran would rather release her inheritance than see her wed a scoundrel. And who better to play the part of Minerva's would-be husband than wild barrister Giles Masters, the very inspiration for the handsome spy in the popular gothic novels she writes? The memory of his passionate kiss on her nineteenth birthday has lingered in Minerva's imagination, though she has no intention of really falling for such a rakehell, much less marrying him. Little does she know, he really is a covert government operative. When they team up to investigate the mystery behind her parents' deaths, their fake betrothal leads to red-hot desire. Then Minerva discovers Giles's secret double life, and he must use all the cunning tricks of his trade to find his way back to her heart.For more deliciously romantic and sparkling historical romance, don't miss the rest of Sabrina's Hellions Of Halstead Hall books. And don't miss her other sensational series including: The Sinful Suitors, The School for Heiresses and The Royal Brotherhood.
How To Write Comedy: Discover the building blocks of sketches, jokes and sitcoms – and make them work
by Tony KirwoodFirst you have to come out with a flow of ideas and decide which ones will work. Then you must give them a tight structure, and then write crisp dialogue which builds in constant laughs. This practical but inspirational book guides new and more experienced writers step by step through the process of each comedy genre. It gives space for your creativity to shine as you gradually build your skills.Beginning with sketches, the basic building blocks of comedy, you’ll find how you can quickly create great premises, and then structure them into two-minute slices of hilarity. The same techniques will help you write a string of jokes and one-liners.· A practical guide to comedy as you write it, from creating mindmaps from which to glean your new material, to techniques of structure, characterisation and dialogue which work.· Covers the distinct techniques and mindsets needed by each genre in turn, in the usual progression of a writer’s career - from jokes and sketches to sitcoms.You’ll also learn how to find outlets for your work, from submitting to the BBC to staging your own show or filming comedy for the internet.
How To Write a Novel in 20 Pies: Sweet and Savory Secrets for Surviving the Writing Life
by Amy WallenAs a novelist, memoirist, and associate director of the New York State Summer Writers Institute, Amy Wallen has a few things to say about the writing world, many of them irreverent and snarky. From her perspective as a teacher, mentor, and published author, her belief is that the way to survive the hard knocks of writing a book and trying to get published is to bust a gut working, laughing, and eating pie.With chapters including "Oh Agent, Where Art Thou?", "Revising, Rewriting, and Reimagining," and "The Joy of Rejection," Wallen balances out the challenging stages of the writing process with both sweet and savory goodness, featuring recipes for chocolate pecan pie, salmon and portobello pie, and the recipe for the best cherry pie ever. Throughout the book, Wallen demystifies the vagaries of the publishing business, providing delicious recipes that will keep your belly full even when you're staring at an empty page. Her writing advice is neatly paired with the brilliant illustrations of Emil Wilson, who shares her sharp wit, sardonic look at the demands of the writing life, and her mad love of pie. Combined, the stories, lessons, images, and recipes will provide encouragement and camaraderie for the novel-writing journey, from putting pen to page, to finding an agent, to celebrating publication—all with a piece of pie.
How To: Absurd Scientific Advice for Common Real-World Problems
by Randall MunroeThe world's most entertaining and useless self-help guide, from the brilliant mind behind the wildly popular webcomic xkcd and the #1 New York Times bestsellers What If? and Thing Explainer <P><P>For any task you might want to do, there's a right way, a wrong way, and a way so monumentally complex, excessive, and inadvisable that no one would ever try it. How To is a guide to the third kind of approach. It's full of highly impractical advice for everything from landing a plane to digging a hole. <P><P>Bestselling author and cartoonist Randall Munroe explains how to predict the weather by analyzing the pixels of your Facebook photos. He teaches you how to tell if you're a baby boomer or a 90's kid by measuring the radioactivity of your teeth. He offers tips for taking a selfie with a telescope, crossing a river by boiling it, and powering your house by destroying the fabric of space-time. And if you want to get rid of the book once you're done with it, he walks you through your options for proper disposal, including dissolving it in the ocean, converting it to a vapor, using tectonic plates to subduct it into the Earth's mantle, or launching it into the Sun. <P><P>By exploring the most complicated ways to do simple tasks, Munroe doesn't just make things difficult for himself and his readers. As he did so brilliantly in What If?, Munroe invites us to explore the most absurd reaches of the possible. Full of clever infographics and fun illustrations, How To is a delightfully mind-bending way to better understand the science and technology underlying the things we do every day. <P><P><b>A New York Times Bestseller</b>
How To: Absurd Scientific Advice for Common Real-World Problems from Randall Munroe of xkcd
by Randall MunroeRandall Munroe is . . .'Nerd royalty' Ben Goldacre'Totally brilliant' Tim Harford'Laugh-out-loud funny' Bill Gates'Wonderful' Neil GaimanAN INSTANT #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLERThe world's most entertaining and useless self-help guide, from the brilliant mind behind the wildly popular webcomic xkcd and the million-selling What If? and Thing Explainer For any task you might want to do, there's a right way, a wrong way, and a way so monumentally bad that no one would ever try it. How To is a guide to the third kind of approach. It's full of highly impractical advice for everything from landing a plane to digging a hole. 'How strange science can fix everyday problems' New Scientist'A brilliant book: clamber in for a wild ride' Nature
How To: Absurd Scientific Advice for Common Real-World Problems from Randall Munroe of xkcd
by Randall MunroeThe world's most entertaining and useless self-help guide, from the brilliant mind behind the wildly popular webcomic xkcd and the million-selling What If? and Thing Explainer.For any task you might want to do, there's a right way, a wrong way, and a way so monumentally bad that no one would ever try it. How To is a guide to the third kind of approach. It's full of highly impractical advice for everything from landing a plane to digging a hole.Bestselling author and cartoonist Randall Munroe explains how to predict the weather by analyzing the pixels of your Facebook photos. He teaches you how to tell if you're a baby boomer or a millennial by measuring the radioactivity of your teeth. He offers tips for taking a selfie with a telescope, crossing a river by boiling it, and getting to your appointments on time by destroying the moon. And if you want to get rid of this book once you're done with it, he walks you through your options for proper disposal, including dissolving it in the ocean, converting it to a vapour, using tectonic plates to subduct it into the Earth's mantle, or launching it into the sun.By exploring the most complicated ways to do simple tasks, Munroe doesn't just make things difficult for himself and his readers. As he did so brilliantly in What If?, he invites us to explore the most absurd reaches of the possible. How To is a delightfully mind-bending way to better understand the science and technology underlying the things we do every day.(P)2019 Penguin Random House Audio
How Underwear Got Under There: A Brief History
by Regan Dunnick Kathy ShaskanDid you know that warriors at the time of Genghis Khan invented arrow-resistant silk underwear? Or that the recommended age to begin wearing a corset in the late 1800s was four years old? Or that King Tut had a particular fondness for underwear? He was buried with 145 pairs!<P><P> This lively text consists of ten chapters on various aspects of underwear, including the social and historical ramifications of different undergarments and their development for warmth, support, protection, cleanliness, and status. Regan Dunnick’s clever illustrations and Kathy Shaskan's accessible text is giggle-worthy, page-turning, and well-researched. From boxers to bustles to briefs, from history to humor, from support to society, the story of underwear is the story of humanity itself.
How We Got to Today: The funny, life-affirming romance you won't be able to put down!
by Ben EllisHow can you find love, when you've lost sight of yourself?Alternately funny, tragic, and life-affirming, Ben Ellis' HOW WE GOT TO TODAY is a delightful mix of the everyday and the surreal, the romantic and the comic. Perfect for fans of Jill Mansell and Mhairi McFarlane.'Funny, heartwarming and uplifting' ***** Reader Review'A very worthwhile and enjoyable read that had me riveted until the end' ***** Reader Review'I really enjoyed this thought provoking book, a distinctive take on our history and way of life' ***** Reader Review'A wonderful story that made me smile and a touching finish. Wonderful characters and a well written thought out plot' ***** Reader Review_______Sheridan doesn't know what he looks like. There's nothing wrong with his vision, it's just that he's the only person in the world who can't see his own face.Despite this, he has it all going for him - a good job as an optometrist, a nice home, and a wonderful girlfriend. All until Heidi, totally out of the blue, dumps him.And to make matters worse, not only has she broken his heart, but she's disappeared. Distraught, Sheridan begins to search for her, and ends up finding himself along the way. . ._______This is a story about how sometimes it's the people closest to us that see us the best and, if we lose sight of ourselves, can tell us who we really are.
How We Got to Today: The funny, life-affirming romance you won't be able to put down!
by Ben EllisHow can you find love, when you've lost sight of yourself?Alternately funny, tragic, and life-affirming, Ben Ellis' HOW WE GOT TO TODAY is a delightful mix of the everyday and the surreal, the romantic and the comic. Perfect for fans of Jill Mansell and Mhairi McFarlane.'Funny, heartwarming and uplifting' ***** Reader Review'A very worthwhile and enjoyable read that had me riveted until the end' ***** Reader Review'I really enjoyed this thought provoking book, a distinctive take on our history and way of life' ***** Reader Review'A wonderful story that made me smile and a touching finish. Wonderful characters and a well written thought out plot' ***** Reader Review_______Sheridan doesn't know what he looks like. There's nothing wrong with his vision, it's just that he's the only person in the world who can't see his own face.Despite this, he has it all going for him - a good job as an optometrist, a nice home, and a wonderful girlfriend. All until Heidi, totally out of the blue, dumps him.And to make matters worse, not only has she broken his heart, but she's disappeared. Distraught, Sheridan begins to search for her, and ends up finding himself along the way. . ._______This is a story about how sometimes it's the people closest to us that see us the best and, if we lose sight of ourselves, can tell us who we really are.
How Winston Lost His Math Homework
by Matt Faulkner Linda Rae ApolzonWinston is in trouble. He didn’t bring his math homework to school, and his teacher isn’t happy! It wasn’t his fault, though. He’d been chewing bubblegum and blowing bubbles, and one of his bubbles goes on an adventure—and takes his homework with it!