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Going Gypsy: One Couple's Adventure from Empty Nest to No Nest at All
by David James Veronica JamesAlmost every couple faces a "now what?" moment as their last kid moves out of the house. There's a big empty nest looming over this new and uncertain stage in their lives.David and Veronica James chose to look at this next phase of life as a beginning instead of an ending. Rather than staying put and facing the constant reminders of empty bedrooms and backseats, a plan began to develop to sell the nest and hit the highway. But could a homebody helicopter mom learn to let go of her heartstrings and house keys all at once?Filled with a sense of adventure and humor, Going Gypsy is the story of a life after raising kids that is a celebration of new experiences. Pulling the rip cord on the daily grind, David and Veronica throw caution to the wind, quit their jobs, sell their house, put on their vagabond shoes, and go gypsy in a beat-up old RV found on eBay.On a journey of over ten thousand miles along the back roads of America (and a hysterical, error-infused side trip into Italy), they conquer old fears, see new sights, reestablish bonds with family and friends, and transform their relationships with their three grown children from parent-child to adult-to-adult. Most importantly, they rediscover in themselves the fun-loving youngsters who fell in love three decades prior.
Going in Circles
by Pamela RibonCharlotte Goodman has had enough surprises. In fact, she reached her life's quotient when her husband of five months walked out on her, only to abruptly change his mind a few weeks later and move back in. Stung by a whiplash of grief, resentment, and confusion, Charlotte calls a time-out, taking a small apartment where she can figure out what she wants. Instead, the thought of making even the simplest choices triggers an anxiety attack. In order to get out of bed in the morning, she must concoct a to-do list for each day, The Plan, one with absolutely no surprises. Without The Plan, horrible things can happen. I'm likely to end up sitting on a curb beside a taco truck on Sunset Boulevard, crying over a carne asada burrito, wondering where my marriage went. I can't handle being the Weeping Burrito Girl. Charlotte knows all this self-absorbed introspection isn't good for her, but she's running out of people to turn to, as seemingly everyone in her life is pressuring her to make an immediate decision about her future. Then her new friend Francesca--an impulsive, smartass co-worker--offers Charlotte salvation in the unlikeliest of places: the fast-paced, super-tough, bump-and-bruise-filled world of roller derby. Sure, it's dangerous. Yeah, she could get hurt. But what's a little physical pain when healing your soul is at stake? The question is: whether she's on or off the track, will Charlotte be strong enough to stand on her own two feet?
Going Mutant: The Bat Boy Exposed!
by Weekly World News Bat Boy Llc Neil McginnessThe Weekly World News team uncovers the definitive and faux-tastic story of Bat Boy, from his hardscrabble origins in the caves of West Virginia to his global influence in the twenty-first century. Going Mutant reveals how Bat Boy has heeded a call to service that has embarrassed less forthcoming mutants: During the Gulf War, he deployed with the Special Forces. He later earned a special commendation from George W. Bush for his use of sonar, which led troops to the spider hole housing Saddam Hussein. And now Bat Boy joins forces with an unlikely crew of soldiers, scientists, and swamp mamas to battle a global pandemic that threatens to destroy our planet.This is an intimate look at the half-bat/half-boy, who has until now been shrouded in mystery (despite countless sightings and a megahit musical). Here, Bat Boy's life is illuminated through a series of public and private documents obtained by the equally mysterious Dr. Barry Leed of the University of Indianapolis and through Weekly World News clippings. All this information comes together in this new Bitingsroman that reveals an archetypal American trickster who has risen from his lowly origins to become America's favorite freedom fighter.
Going Ninja
by Keith Riegert Samuel KaplanBEING NINJA.DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES?Not by yourself, that's for sure. But the brutal, six-week programin Going Ninja will make it happen. Transforming you from aslow-refl exed nobody into a ripped, shuriken-hurling assassin.What is the best way to sever a head with a chopstick?How much personal blood loss is too much? This book showsthe way to turn your boring life into a never-ending, sake-filledvictory celebration: Learn to dismember anyone Wield a ninja sword with confidence Bone up on the rich history of American ninjas Tone your arms, neck, jaw and glutes Get laid every night, in Japanese Pump up the awesome
Going on the Turn
by Danny BakerIn this book my father dies. I almost die.*** My showbiz career winds down. And yet everyone keeps telling me it's the funniest book I've ever written. If I'd known that's what the public wanted, I'd have cancelled Pets Win Prizes and just got sick sooner. Along the way this time we encounter, among others, David Bowie, Kanye West (I think), John Cleese, Peter O'Toole, and have several adventures in the Fourth Dimension. Oh, and I can reveal the Man With The Foulest Mouth In All Show Business. Plus assorted high-kicking hoopla and a whole lot of rather stark stuff about what it's like to be told you could be On The Way Out. *** (SPOILER ALERT: I don't actually die.)
Going on the Turn: Being the Extraordinary Stories of My Life and Dodging Death's Door
by Danny BakerDanny Baker's third volume of memoirs barrels along at the same cracking pace as its predecessors, the bestselling Going to Sea in a Sieve (the inspiration for the major TV series Cradle to Grave and subsequent nationwide tour) and Going off Alarming. With his trademark exuberance, he recalls the years which included six years' involvement in the massive TV hit TFI Friday ('piling it up with hellzapoppin' ideas') - during which time he stalked John Cleese in New York, entertained David Bowie and Paul McCartney, bizarrely reunites with Sir Michael Caine, gets befriended by Peter O'Toole and becomes a member of Led Zeppelin for 35 minutes. However, the tales are not reliant on celebrity alone, and the book comes packed with the usual quota of Baker family jewels, including Spud's attitude to doctors, Danny's trip to Amsterdam to get stoned for the first time (he fails), getting caught up in football rioting, and the now infamous 'kaboom' of an outburst following his despatch from BBC London. And then there's the cancer. Spoiler alert: this is the one in which he almost dies. Further spoiler alert: he doesn't.Going on the Turn is a rollicking read that fizzes with wit, warmth and enviable joie de vivre.Written and Read by Danny Baker (p) Orion Publishing Group 2017
Going Postal: A Novel Of Discworld (Moist von Lipwig #1)
by Terry Pratchett“Pratchett’s books are almost always better than they have to be, and Going Postal is no exception, full of nimble wordplay, devious plotting and outrageous situations, but always grounded in an astute understanding of human nature.”—San Francisco ChronicleA splendid send-up of government bureaucracy, corruption, the postal system, and everything in between in this ingenious entry in Sir Terry Pratchett’s internationally bestselling Discworld series.By all rights, Arch-swindler Moist von Lipwig should be meeting his maker at the end of a noose. Instead, Lord Vetinari, supreme ruler of Ankh-Morpork, has made him the city’s Postmaster General. Death may be preferable to fixing the Postal Service—a creaky, outdated institution beset by eccentric employees, mountains of old, undelivered mail Moist swears is talking to him, and a dangerous secret order. To restore the postal service to its former glory, Moist accepts the help of the tough talking and very attractive activist Adora Belle Dearheart.But to succeed, Moist must overcome two formidable foes—new technology and the greedy chairman of a communication monopoly who will stop at nothing to delay Ankh-Morpork’s post for good . . .The Discworld novels can be read in any order, but Going Postal is the first book in the Moist von Lipwig series. The series, in order, includes:Going PostalMaking MoneyRaising Steam
Going Rogue: Rise and Shine Twenty-Nine (Stephanie Plum #29)
by Janet EvanovichStephanie Plum breaks the rules, flirts with disaster, and shows who&’s boss in this whip-smart and fast-paced thriller from #1 New York Times bestselling &“crown princess of detective fiction&” (BookPage) Janet Evanovich.Monday mornings aren&’t supposed to be fun, but they should be predictable. However, on this particular Monday, Stephanie Plum knows that something is amiss when she turns up for work at Vinnie&’s Bail Bonds to find that longtime office manager Connie Rosolli, who is as reliable as the tides in Atlantic City, hasn&’t shown up. Stephanie&’s worst fears are confirmed when she gets a call from Connie&’s abductor. He says he will only release her in exchange for a mysterious coin that a recently murdered man left as collateral for his bail. Unfortunately, this coin, which should be in the office—just like Connie—is nowhere to be found. The quest to discover the coin, learn its value, and save Connie will require the help of Stephanie&’s Grandma Mazur, her best pal Lula, her boyfriend Morelli, and hunky security expert Ranger. As they get closer to unraveling the reasons behind Connie&’s kidnapping, Connie&’s captor grows more threatening and soon Stephanie has no choice but to throw caution to the wind, follow her instincts, and go rogue. Full of surprises, thrills, and humor, Going Rogue reveals a new side of Stephanie Plum, and shows Janet Evanovich at her scorching, riotous best.
Going the Distance
by Meg MaguireRules of the Ring...No Unsportsmanlike ConductLindsey Tuttle always thought Rich Estrada was a whole lot of sexy. What's not to lust after? He's a gorgeous mixed martial arts fighter. When they find themselves heating up during an unexpected-and superintense-make-out session, Lindsey is ready...until Rich ends it with no explanation.Three rounds...Now it's almost a year later, and Rich has a broken foot, which means a frustrating recovery back in Boston before his next fight. But this could be the perfect time for a rematch with a sexy little matchmaker....And minimal clothing!There's no denying the chemistry between them. It's full-contact, no-holds-barred attraction...and only one can be on top!Previously published as Taking Him Down
Going To The Dogs: Confessions Of A Mobile Pet Groomer
by Jan NiemanWhen Jan Nieman decided to become a mobile pet groomer, little did she know what a wild ride she was in for. Over the next 21 years, she tussled with feisty pets, wrestled with stubborn vans, chased down AWOL dogs, and learned to cope with wayward employees. Grooming more than her share of dogs and cats, not to mention the occasional wolf, she encountered a host of memorable animals and owners, that often matched their pets in style, temperament and unconventionality. In her no-holds-barred, hilarious account, Nieman not only shares the high points of her adventures, as well as the occasional horror 'tails' that are an inevitable part of a groomer's career. Through it all, her love and passion for animals shines forth from every page. By the end, after plenty of laughs, you'll know a good deal more about orphan pets, what goes on in the inner sanctum of mobile and brick-and-mortar grooming salons, and the joys and tribulations of owning a business that keeps you "going to the dogs. "
Going to Hell in a Hen Basket: An Illustrated Dictionary of Modern Malapropisms
by Robert Alden Rubin“A pain staking but hilarious journey amidst the strings and arrows of language misfortune . . . The result is the perfect gift book for word nerds.” —BrevityMalapropism—A word or phrase that has been mistaken for another, usually because of its sound rather than its meaning.Everyone has made the mistake of using a word or phrase that they think sounds correct, but in fact is not. Malapropisms make some sense. They have a semantic logic to them, even if that logic makes perfect nonsense. In Going to Hell in a Hen Basket, author Robert Alden Rubin delights in the creative misuse of words and celebrates the verbal and textual flubs that ignore the conventions of proper English.Culled from blogs, the deepest corners of the internet, as well as some of the most esteemed publications, here is a collection of classic malapropisms paired with hilarious illustrations.Examples include:adieu, without further—Conflation of bidding adieu (saying goodbye) with ado (complicated doings, ceremony) to mean “without saying anything more.”feeble position—An unborn child in a fetal position seems weak and helpless, which explains the confusion here. The two words also share some sexist cultural and literary associations. Feeble (weak) originates from a Latin word for something to be wept over; fetal (relating to a fetus) originates from the same preliterate Indo-European word that gives us female.Perfect for bookworms and wordsmiths, the point here isn’t to shame the malapropagandists, but to delight in the twists and turns writers put our language through and to amuse and inform those of us who care about words.
Going to the Chapel (Valentine Brides #5)
by Alice SharpeVALENTINE BRIDESALWAYS PLANNING A WEDDING, BUT NEVER HER OWNFor jilted bride Elinor Bosley, romance was strictly business. Her days were spent running the Lakeside Wedding Chapel, marrying impulsive strangers in quickie ceremonies. But Elinor had sworn off "happily ever after" for herself...or so she'd thought.Then she met Tom Rex. Suddenly this sexy single dad had her hearing wedding bells of her own. Too bad Tom believed marriage was for fools. Could Elinor find a way to change this reluctant hunk into a willing husband?VALENTINE BRIDES: When Cupid strikes, marriage is sure to follow!
Going to the Dogs: The Story of a Moralist
by Erich Kastner Cyrus Brooks Rodney LivingstoneGoing to the Dogs is set in Berlin after the crash of 1929 and before the Nazi takeover, years of rising unemployment and financial collapse. The moralist in question is Jakob Fabian, "aged thirty-two, profession variable, at present advertising copywriter . . . weak heart, brown hair," a young man with an excellent education but permanently condemned to a low-paid job without security in the short or the long run.What's to be done? Fabian and friends make the best of it--they go to work though they may be laid off at any time, and in the evenings they go to the cabarets and try to make it with girls on the make, all the while making a lot of sharp-sighted and sharp-witted observations about politics, life, and love, or what may be. Not that it makes a difference. Workers keep losing work to new technologies while businessmen keep busy making money, and everyone who can goes out to dance clubs and sex clubs or engages in marathon bicycle events, since so long as there's hope of running into the right person or (even) doing the right thing, well--why stop? Going to the Dogs, in the words of introducer Rodney Livingstone, "brilliantly renders with tangible immediacy the last frenetic years [in Germany] before 1933." It is a book for our time too.
Going to the Dogs
by Pierre LemaitreGoing to the Dogs is a hilarious and thrilling ride marking the award-winning Pierre Lemaitre's triumphant return to crime thriller, with the most unlikely of killers.
Going to the Volcano
by Andy StantonBuckle up and jump on board for the funniest, most EXPLOSIVE picture book of the year - you'll want to read it again and again-o!Join two intrepid explorers as they take a train-o, jump on a plane-o, ride a Great Dane-o (down the lane-o) on their way to look at the volcano. Nothing could possibly go wrong - could it?!A hilariously anarchic rhyming story from multi-award-winning author Andy Stanton.Andy has won a string of awards for his Mr Gum books, including the Red House Children's Book Award, the Roald Dahl Funny Prize, and the Blue Peter Book Award for Best Book With Pictures (twice).Miguel Ordonez is the illustrator of the New York Times bestselling Your Baby's First Word Will Be Dada, written by Jimmy Fallon, the Emmy and Grammy award-winning host of NBC's The Tonight Show.
Gold!
by David ShannonA riotous retelling of the Midas myth by the Caldecott Honor-winning and #1 New York Times bestselling author of No, David!Maximilian Midas was a peculiar little boy.He didn&’t much like chocolate and he didn&’t play with toys.The first word that he uttered when he was one year oldWasn&’t Mama, wasn&’t Papa; what Maxie said was, &“Gold!&” Max Midas isn&’t like the other kids. Instead of trying to make friends, he decides to make millions and spends it all on what he loves best: GOLD. Gold statues. Gold fountains. Piles and piles of gold, and atop them all, a golden castle. But one day, things get lonely inside his shiny castle and Max finally learns that gold isn&’t worth anything without friends and family by your side.David Shannon, the Caldecott Honor—winning and New York Times bestselling author of No, David!, is back with a riotous romp that&’s sure to be a beloved classic.
The Gold Bat
by P. G. WodehouseThis novel tells of how two boys, O'Hara and Moriarty, tar and feather a statue of the local M.P. as a prank. They get away with it, but O'Hara had borrowed a tiny gold cricket bat belonging to Trevor, the captain of the cricket team, and after the escapade he discovers that the trinket is missing. Schoolboy honor is at stake, and Trevor and his friends try to get the gold bat back.
Gold Rush Fever! (The Secret World Of Alex Mack #30)
by Diana G. GallagherWhen Louis Driscoll's grandfather retires, he gives his gold-mining claim to Louis' father. The Driscolls invite Alex and her friends on a camping trip in the desert to help pan for the gold. Soon everyone's got the fever, eagerly looking for the sparkling flakes and nuggets. But someone doesn't want them to stay. Their tent collapses, the campsite is trashed, and the gold they found is missing. To top it all off, there's a mysterious message scrawled in the dirt: GET OUT! Has a gold-protecting ghost really come back to haunt the Driscolls? Or is someone just trying to get to the gold first by playing games?
The Gold Standard: Rules to Rule By
by Ari GoldAri Gold is known for his ruthless approach to deal-making and client relationships that made him one of, if not the, most powerful and sought-after agents in Hollywood until he retired in 2011. In his new book THE GOLD STANDARD, Gold will illuminate, for the first time, his unique, effective and, some would say, outrageous philosophies on running a successful business, client management, employee motivation, keeping a happy home life, and other keys to his many successes. Brash, emphatic, instructive and always wise, Gold's book will rival business and leadership bestsellers the world over. In his own words and with his trademark enthusiasm, Gold's tome will be the only book anyone wanting to make something of him or herself will ever need. Ari Gold says: "In my humble opinion, if you want to run a successful business this is the only book you'll ever have to read. And my humble opinion is never wrong."
The Goldblum Variations: Adventures of Jeff Goldblum Across the Known (and Unknown) Universe
by Helen McClory“Fantastic!” —the actual Jeff Goldblum (for real)The essential companion for any fan of Jeff Goldblum, Hollywood’s most beloved and otherworldly iconYou like Jeff Goldblum. We like Jeff Goldblum. Helen McClory really likes Jeff Goldblum.So lie back, Jurassic Park-style, and prepare to enjoy The Goldblum Variations, a collection of stories, musings, puzzles, and games based on the one and only Jeff Goldblum as he (and alternate versions of himself) travels through the known (and unknown) universe in a mighty celebration of weird and wonderful Goldbluminess.Maybe he’s cresting the steep bluffs of a mysterious planet on an epic treasure hunt, maybe he’s wearing a nice sweater, maybe he’s reading from this very book. The possibilities are endless. Treat yourself . . . because all that glitters is Goldblum.
Golden Age: A Novel
by Wang XiaoboLike Gary Shteyngart or Michel Houellebecq, Wang Xiaobo is a Chinese literary icon whose satire forces us to reconsider the ironies of history.&“Apparently, there was a rumour that Chen Qingyang and I were having an affair. She wanted me to prove our innocence. I said, to prove our innocence, we must prove one of the following: 1. Chen Qingyang is a virgin; 2. I was born without a penis.Both of these propositions were hard to prove, therefore, we couldn&’t prove our innocence. Infact, I was leaning more toward proving that we weren&’t innocent.&” And so begins Wang Er&’s story of his long affair with Chen Qinyang. Wang Er, a 21-year-old ox herder, is shamed by the local authorities and forced to write a confession for his crimes but instead, takes it upon himself to write a modernist literary tract. Later, as a lecturer at a chaotic, newly built university, Wang Er navigates the bureaucratic maze of 1980&’s China, boldly writing about the Cultural Revolution&’s impact on his life and those around him. Finally, alone and humbled, Wang Er must come to terms with the banality of his own existence. But what makes this novel both hilarious and important is Xiaobo&’s use of the awkwardness of sex as a metaphor for all that occured during the Cultural Revolution. This achievement was revolutionary in China and places Golden Age in the great pantheon of novels that argue against governmental control. A leading icon of his generation, Wang Xiaobo&’s cerebral and sarcastic narrative is a reflection on the failures of individuals and the enormous political, social, and personal changes in 20thcentury China.
The Golden Child: A Novel
by Penelope FitzgeraldThis &“classically plotted British mystery&” by the Booker Prize-winning author of The Blue Flower is &“leavened by a wicked sense of rapier-like humor&” (The New York Times Book Review). In The Golden Child, Penelope FitzGerald combines a deft comedy of manners with a tense mystery set in London's most refined institution: the Museum. When the glittering treasure of ancient Garamantia—the Golden Child—is delivered, the Museum is guaranteed an exhibition as popular as King Tut. But soon a web of intrigue tightens around the Museum&’s personnel, especially the hapless junior officer Waring Smith. Then, while prowling the halls one night, Waring is nearly strangled. Two suspicious deaths ensue. And as a murderous conspiracy is traced all the way to the Kremlin, only the cryptic hieroglyphics of the Garamantes can bring an end to the mayhem. Along the way, everyone from art critics to the police and &“a few nicely Wodehousian oddballs&” fall under Fitzgerald&’s mercilessly satirical eye (Kirkus).
The Golden City: Whatever your journey, grasp life's treasures on your way
by Didier DorneNothing is going well for Antoine. Torn between the memory of a tragedy and an all-consuming job, his life is void of dreams and goals. Franck, his best friend, goes out of his way to make him smile again, to little avail. And yet, he is talented, his boss could even see him as his future son-in-law… Chloe is a young woman challenged by many aspects of life. Audacious and rebellious, she chases a lifelong dream with great determination: to go to The Golden City, the famous Inca city her mother used to tell her about when she was a child. Antoine and Chloe have nothing in common, but by a twist of fate, their paths meet. Chloe is convinced Antoine will travel with her to The Golden City… Can she convince him?
Golden Delicious
by Christopher Boucher"What a crazed, beautiful book ... Boucher makes the world come alive by making language come alive." -- George Saunders From the writer Emily St. John Mandel (Station Eleven) called "Strange and dazzling" comes a funny, heartbreaking, and wildly imaginative taleWelcome to Appleseed, Massachusetts, where stories grow in soil, sentences are kept as pets, and pianos change your point of view. Golden Delicious chronicles the narrator's rich, vivid childhood - driving to the local flea market with his father, causing trouble at school, pedaling through the neighborhood on his Bicycle Built for Two.But as the local economy sours, the narrator's family is torn apart. His mother joins a flying militia known as The Mothers; his father takes an all-consuming job; his sister runs away for a better life elsewhere. Who will save Appleseed? Will it be the Memory of Johnny Appleseed? The Mothers? The narrator himself?Golden Delicious is the eagerly awaited follow-up to Christopher Boucher's acclaimed debut, How to Keep Your Volkswagen Alive. It's a tour-de-force unlike any other, that takes you to the heart of family, love and memory.From the Trade Paperback edition.
Golden Fever
by Carole MortimerRe-read this classic romance by USA Today bestselling author CaroleMortimerRourke Somerville is bad news! Five years ago Clare learned just how bad. Thisnotorious playboy had a reputation for shattering hearts and Clare could have sparedherself a lot of pain, if only she had listened̷Now Clare is a confident, internationally famous film star, engaged to a nice, safeman. Yet seeing devastatingly sexy Rourke again brings back vivid memories of theirfevered affair… Can Clare resist the allure of the bad boy from her past? Originally published in 1982