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Goodbye Salad Days: Kevin Faces Adulthood
by Traer ScottGoodbye Salad Days tells the story of Kevin, a regular hamster in a familiar quarter-life crisis.Kevin's got his own hamster-sized home, hamster-sized furniture, and the soul-crushing societal expectation to do adulthood right.Both adorable and painfully relatable, this book is sure to hit a soft spot in any reader trying to make the best of growing up and facing adulthood.• Features 25 scenarios with short captions• Filled with full color photographs of Kevin in handmade dioramas• At once perfectly weird and very relatable, making it a great giftLife for Kevin means enduring the grind of work responsibilities, an aching body, and mounting pressure from his parents to start a family, among other things.This sweet and funny book is a great gift or self-purchase for anyone hitting their quarter-life crisis and in need of some relatable laughs.• This hilarious and cute book is for anyone who has experienced (or is about to experience) these moments of loss and despair, and need a good laugh or a pick-me-up• Also a great gift for anyone who loves hamsters—especially funny photos of them• Author Traer Scott is a celebrated animal photographer and has had work featured in National Geographic• Add it to the shelf with books like Henri, le Chat Noir: The Existential Musings of an Angst-Filled Cat by William Braden, The Secret Life of Squirrels by Nancy Rose, and Awkward Family Pet Photos by Mike Bender and Doug Chernack.
Goodbye Soldier (Spike Milligan War Memoirs)
by Spike MilliganSpike Milligan's legendary war memoirs are a hilarious and subversive first-hand account of the Second World War, as well as a fascinating portrait of the formative years of this towering comic genius, most famous as writer and star of The Goon Show. They have sold over 4.5 million copies since they first appeared.'The most irreverent, hilarious book about the war that I have ever read' Sunday Express'Brilliant verbal pyrotechnics, throwaway lines and marvelous anecdotes' Daily Mail'Desperately funny, vivid, vulgar' Sunday Times'My namer is Maria Antonoinetta Fontana, but everyone call me Toni.' 'I'm Spike, sometimes known as stop thief or hey you.' 'Yeser, I know.' The sixth volume of Spike Milligan's off-the-wall account of his part in World War Two sees our hero doing very little soldiering. Because it's 1946. Rather, he is now part of the Bill Hall Trio - a 'Combined Services Entertainment' inflicted on unsuspecting soldiers across Italy and Austria - and is largely preoccupied with the unbearably beautiful ballerina, Ms Toni Fontana ('Arghhhhhhhhh!). But he must enjoy it while he can before he is demobbed and sent home to Catford - so he does ...'That absolutely glorious way of looking at things differently. A great man' Stephen Fry'Milligan is the Great God to all of us' John Cleese'The Godfather of Alternative Comedy' Eddie Izzard'Manifestly a genius, a comic surrealist genius and had no equal' Terry Wogan'A totally original comedy writer' Michael Palin'Close in stature to Lewis Carroll and Edward Lear in his command of the profound art of nonsense' GuardianSpike Milligan was one of the greatest and most influential comedians of the twentieth century. Born in India in 1918, he served in the Royal Artillery during WWII in North Africa and Italy. At the end of the war, he forged a career as a jazz musician, sketch-show writer and performer, before joining forces with Peter Sellers and Harry Secombe to form the legendary Goon Show. Until his death in 2002, he had success as on stage and screen and as the author of over eighty books of fiction, memoir, poetry, plays, cartoons and children's stories.
Goodbye, Vitamin: A Novel
by Rachel Khong"Khong is a magician, and we are lucky to fall under her spell at the very beginning of her brilliant writing life." —Lauren Groff“This novel sneaks up on you — just like life . . . and heartbreak. And love.”—Miranda JulyHer life at a crossroads, a young woman goes home again in this funny and inescapably moving debut from a wonderfully original new literary voice.Freshly disengaged from her fiancé and feeling that life has not turned out quite the way she planned, thirty-year-old Ruth quits her job, leaves town and arrives at her parents’ home to find that situation more complicated than she'd realized. Her father, a prominent history professor, is losing his memory and is only erratically lucid. Ruth’s mother, meanwhile, is lucidly erratic. But as Ruth's father’s condition intensifies, the comedy in her situation takes hold, gently transforming her all her grief. Told in captivating glimpses and drawn from a deep well of insight, humor, and unexpected tenderness, Goodbye, Vitamin pilots through the loss, love, and absurdity of finding one’s footing in this life.
Goodnight Already!
by Jory JohnBear has never been so tired but his next-door neighbor, a wide-awake duck, keeps disturbing his sleep.
Goodnight Already!
by Jory John*An E. B. White Read-Aloud Honor Book*A hilarious bedtime book from the award-winning creators of I Love You Already!, Come Home Already!, and All Right Already!Bear is exhausted. All he wants is to go to sleep. Duck is wide awake. All he wants is to hang out . . . with Bear.Will Bear ever be able to catch some ZZZ’s? Jory John, author of Penguin Problems and The Bad Seed, and Benji Davies, creator of The Storm Whale and Tad, join together to create this standout hilarious picture book that's perfect for bedtime read-alouds.
Goodnight Bush: A Parody
by Erich Origen Gan GolanA brilliant parody of the children's classic Goodnight Moon, built around the coming end of the worst presidency ever.Goodnight Bush: An Unauthorized Parody is a hilarious and poignant visual requiem for the Bush administration. In it we see a childlike George W. Bush tucked safely away in the confines of his own room with all of the toys he's willfully destroyed, abused, or defaced. Complete with a quiet Dick Cheney whispering "hush," this bedtime story lets us finally say goodnight to the disaster that was the last eight years.
Goodnight Dorm Room: All the Advice I Wish I Got Before Going to College
by Samuel Kaplan Keith Riegert“This grown-up parody of Goodnight Moon focuses heavily on college specifics, like what classes to pick . . . and what to pack vs. what to leave behind.” —WDSU NewsYou’re off to college—it’s gonna be life-changing! Follow this book’s advice to make it amazing! This bittersweet and humorous guide to college life features practical tips combined with funny, full color illustrations. You’ll learn:How to survive orientationWhy to choose courses that you’ll loveHow TAs can save your brainWhy flip flops are a mustHow often to change your sheetsWhere to make new friendsHow to balance class and funAnd more!!!
Goodnight, Good Dog
by Mary Lyn Ray&“A satisfying picture book that&’s just right for bedtime reading&” from the New York Times–bestselling author of Stars (Booklist). It&’s time to say goodnight. But what if a dog isn&’t sleepy? Intimate and accessible, this young dog story captures how a reluctant pup warms to bedtime in a way that children will recognize immediately—and find as reassuring as their own beds. &“This effective bedtime story reminds kids that fun will be had again when they wake—but first comes sleep.&” —Horn Book &“Sure to be shelved next to Goodnight, Moon. It deserves that rarefied spot.&” —Kirkus Reviews (starred review)
Goodnight iPad: a Parody for the next generation
by Ann DroydA parody of the children's classic and a hilarious gift for anyone that finds modern life funny and absurd.In a bright buzzing room, in the glow of the moon-and iPhones and Androids and Blackberries too-it is time to say goodnight...Modern life is abuzz. There are huge LCD WiFi HD TVs and Facebook requests and thumbs tapping texts and new viral clips of cats doing flips. Wouldn't it be nice to say goodnight to all that? Like the rest of us who cannot resist just a few more scrolls and clicks, you may find yourself ready for bed while still clinging to your electronics long after dark. This book, which is made of paper, is a reminder for the child in all of us to power down at the end of the day. This hilarious parody not only pokes loving fun at the bygone quiet of the original classic, but also at our modern plugged-in lives. It will make you laugh, and it will also help you put yourself and your machines to sleep. Don't worry, though. Your gadgets will be waiting for you, fully charged, in the morning.
Goodnight, Mr. Clutterbuck
by Mauri KunnasFrom the award-winning Mauri Kunnas, Finland's most celebrated children's author, a hilarious picture book which follows the adventures of a sleepwalking goat. Mr. Clutterbuck, a mild-mannered goat, sleepwalks his way into unimaginable adventures: one night the lead singer of a rock band, the next an entrepreneur, Mr. Clutterbuck soon finds himself the hero of his town. A book that will send readers of all ages into fits of laughter.Mr. Clutterbuck is blissfully unaware of his reputation as the busiest and loudest sleepwalker in town. Meek and mild-mannered when awake, at night Mr. Clutterbuck seeks thrills and adventures. Often the accidental instigator of chaos, Mr. Clutterbuck soon becomes the lead singer of a rock band, an entrepreneur, a disco king, and, eventually, the hero of his town. Goodnight, Mr. Clutterbuck is sure to captivate readers of all ages as we wonder what kind of situation Mr. Clutterbuck will find himself in next. With a lively tapestry of characters, including a motorcycle gang of cats and crocodiles, a hippo in charge of a sausage factory, and an ill-tempered bull at a theme park, Mauri Kunnas playfully shows what can happen when you step outside your comfort zone.
Goodnight, Mr Panda (Mr Panda #4)
by Steve AntonyA hilarious Mr Panda picture book, about the importance of doing the Bedtime Routine properly!Mr Panda and his friends are getting ready for bed. But some won't brush their teeth, others won't have a bath, and one won't even wear pyjamas! It's down to Mr Panda to show them how to do bedtime properly. "The perfect read to enjoy with little critters who are less than enthusiastic about going to bed. It's completely charming and full of fun." WRD booksLook out for more books starring the grumpy (but loveable!) Mr Panda. Over half a million copies sold to date!Please Mr PandaThank You Mr PandaI'll Wait Mr PandaMr Panda's ColoursMr Panda's Feelings
Goodnight Nanny-Cam: A Parody for Modern Parents
by Lizzy Ratner Jen Nessel&“Goodnight Moon has been hilariously updated for the modern parent.&”—BuzzfeedWhen the text of Goodnight Nanny-Cam appeared online in the New Yorker&’s &“Shouts & Murmurs&” column, it garnered 100,000 hits and more than 15,000 Facebook likes in a matter of days. Filled with sly references to BPA-free bottles, Baby Einstein DVDs, and toddler tutors, Jen Nessel and Lizzy Ratner&’s send-up of the beloved children&’s classic wittily skewers our modern culture of over-parenting. Parodies of Goodnight Moon are always popular, and Goodnight Nanny-cam is a gorgeously illustrated gift that&’s guaranteed to have alpha parents everywhere laughing—and cringing—in recognition.
Goodnight Nobody
by Jennifer WeinerNew York Times bestselling author Jennifer Weiner’s unforgettable story of adjusting to suburbia—and all the surprises hidden behind its doors. For Kate Klein, a semi-accidental mother of three, suburbia has been full of unpleasant surprises. Her once-loving husband is hardly ever home. The super-mommies on the playground routinely snub her. Her days are spent carpooling and enduring endless games of Candy Land, and at night, most of her orgasms are of the do-it-yourself variety. When a fellow mother is murdered, Kate finds that the unsolved mystery is the most exciting thing to happen in Upchurch, Connecticut, since her neighbors broke ground for a guesthouse and cracked their septic tank. Even though the local police chief warns her that crime-fighting's a job best left to the professionals, Kate launches an unofficial investigation—from 8:45 to 11:30 on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, when her kids are in nursery school. As Kate is drawn deeper into the murdered woman's past, she begins to uncover the secrets and lies behind Upchurch's picket-fence facade—and considers the choices and compromises all modern women make as they navigate between marriage and independence, small towns and big cities, being a mother and having a life of one's own.
Goodnight Trump: A Parody
by Erich Origen Gan GolanTurn out the lights on another endless day in Trump's America with this parody of Goodnight Moon by the bestselling duo behind Goodnight Bush -- putting to bed America's most yugely bad president ever. In the very classy room There was a golden mirror And a silver spoon And a broadcast of -- A half-baked story from a fake newsroom . . .Parodying the soothing incantations of Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown with illustrations by Clement Hurd, GOODNIGHT TRUMP opens in the very classy golden bedroom of the White House, where it is bedtime for the 45th President of the United States. In this wickedly funny update to the bedtime classic, readers can encourage this very stable genius to bid a gentle goodnight to some of his favorite things, including his stuffed animal (what else but a Playboy bunny), his best friends from Russia, his Twitter feed, and his 12-pack of Diet Coke. GOODNIGHT TRUMP is a perfect gift for those who lean to the left -- offering readers the chance to put America's man-child-in-chief to bed early, so children everywhere can have sweet dreams without fear of being torn from their homes and families.
Goofballs #3: Superhero Silliness
by Colleen Madden Tony AbbottJeff, Mara, Brian, and Kelly are Goofballs and proud of it. Goofball private eyes. Together, they solve mysteries. How do they discover the truth? They use funny disguises (dressing up in aluminum foil), nutty inventions (dropped notes the bad guys must stop to read), and their secret weapon: Sparky the Goofdog!When super-rich kid Randall Crandall asks the Goofballs to help him protect his world-famous collection from a notorious thief, they can't wait to get started. Randall's hosting a superhero party, and the detectives will have to blend in to sniff out the criminal. Crazy costumes and off-the-wall schemes mean this is going to be the Goofballs' goofiest mystery yet.
Goofballs #4: The Mysterious Talent Show Mystery
by Tony Abbott Colleen MaddenThe Badger Point School is holding a talent show, and the Goofballs - sleuths Jeff Bunter, Mara Lubin, Kelly Smitts, and Brian Rooney - are set to be its stars. That is if the show even happens, with problems and mysteries at every turn. A giant pink tuba goes missing, the costumes are all the wrong size, and the talent show's director disappears before the cast's eyes. Good thing that the Goofballs are expert detectives. Funny, punny, and full of fun, this latest case in the Goofballs series will be eagerly devoured by old and new fans, alike.
Goofballs #5: The Ha-Ha-Haunting of Hyde House
by Tony Abbott Colleen MaddenFans of Dav Pilkey's The Adventure of Ook and Gluke and Paricia Reilly Giff's ZigZag Kids series will flock to this chapterbook series full of slapstick humor and silly situations by the wildly popular Tony Abbott, author of The Secrets of Droon Series.When the Goofballs--Jeff, Brian, Mara, and Kelly--hear about a house that might be haunted, where someone disappeared years before, it sounds like the perfect case for them to solve on Halloween. But they'll need their best sleuthing skills and, of course, the help of the Goofdog, because this may be their silliest--and scariest--mystery yet!
Goofballs #6: The Crazy Classroom Caper
by Colleen Madden Tony AbbottFans of Dav Pilkey's The Adventures of Ook and Glook and Patricia Reilly Giff's ZigZag Kids will flock to this chapter-book mystery series full of slapstick humor and silly situations by the wildly popular Tony Abbott, author of the Secrets of Droon series. Jeff, Mara, Brian, and Kelly are Goofballs and proud of it. Goofball private eyes. Together, they solve mysteries. How do they discover the truth? They use funny disguises, nutty inventions, and their secret weapon: Sparky the Goofdog!Objects have been disappearing from Ms. Becker's kindergarten classroom - blocks, an easel, even the class goldfish! Luckily, the Goofballs are ready to go undercover to help their former teacher learn the truth. But posing as teachers is hard work, especially when the entire class may be as smart as Kelly, as observant as Jeff, as creative as Mara, and as goofy as Brian. Everyone's a suspect, and every time the Goofballs turn their backs, something else vanishes. Soon, the whole classroom will be gone!Have the Goofballs been out-goofed? These young sleuths have never failed so solve a case, and they don't intend to start now!
Goofy, Movie Star
by Disney Book GroupFrom Walt Disney's Classic Storybook, this retelling of Goofy, Movie Star features Goofy, an easygoing fellow from Hollywood, who loves watching movies. So when Goofy's hilarious laugh accidentally catches the attention of Mr. Big Shot at a film studio, Goofy quickly becomes a famous movie star! But is life in the fast lane really what Goofy wants?
Googol Boy: And the peculiar incident of the Great Quiz Trophy (Googol Boy)
by John MichaelWhen an unassuming, rather clueless teenager is zapped by lightning while working on his computer, he absorbs all the information off the internet and his (very) ordinary brain starts to exhibit extraordinary potential. As Howie struggles to control his new-found power he is faced with all sorts of hilarious predicaments, from contending with mega-mean teachers to being ridiculed by the school braniac, a petite know-it-all determined to humiliate him. Can Howie overcome the enormous obstacles before him to defeat his annoying arch-nemesis and solve the peculiar mystery of the stolen Great Quiz Trophy?
The Goomba Diet: Living Large and Loving It
by Steven R. SchirripaHey, goomba! Are you on the Goomba Diet? Do you need to be?• Do they put up crime scene tape after you visit the buffet table?• Is the air freshener in your car a slice of provolone?Stop crying! The Goomba Diet is here—the dolce vita diet that shows you how to eat more, drink more, laugh more, live more, and feel great while you’re doing it. The Goomba Diet offers sensible weight-loss tips for the guy who’s gone too far:• Touch your toes. If this is difficult, pay a guy to do it for you.• Walk to court.It also offers helpful maintenance tips for the goomba who’s the perfect weight and wants to stay that way:• Try an appetite suppressant. Try eating at Applebee’s. • Pick up something heavy. Get a copy of The Da Vinci Code. • Cut out those carbs. Only eat pastas that end in the letter i. The Goomba Diet is the personal lifestyle guide from Steven R. Schirripa—Bobby “Bacala” Baccalieri from HBO’s hit series The Sopranos and author of the bestseller A Goomba’s Guide to Life. Developed over decades of dreaming about and then living the high life, it’s a how-to guide for happy living—how to duke a maître d', how to order a good meal, how to be a good father, a good husband and a good friend, and how to behave at a wedding, a funeral, and on the job. You wanna have a good time? Follow these rules:• Do tip the maid. Don’t tip the made guy. • Do tip the D.J. Don’t tip the D.A.• Do tell the bride she’s beautiful. Don’t tell her she’s hardly showing.• Do give your kids an allowance. Don’t offer to “make it interesting” by shooting craps for double or nothing.The Goomba Diet is for everyone with an appetite for life, and for everyone who understands that the key to happiness isn’t found in a smaller waistline but in a bigger heart. Like Steve says, “There’s a lot of skinny actors wearing black turtlenecks and tending bar right now who’d kill for a part on The Sopranos. This fat goomba is doing all right for himself.”So relax! Stop worrying about how much you’re eating, and start worrying about how much you’re enjoying it. Lose weight if you like—but live! Put a fork in your right hand, a hunk of bread in your left, and mangia like you mean it. HBO® and The Sopranos® are service marks of Time Warner Entertainment Company, L.P.From the Hardcover edition.
The Goomba's Book of Love
by Steven R. Schirripa Charles FlemingMove over Miss Lonelyhearts . . . Steven R. Schirripa, author of the runaway bestseller A Goomba's Guide to Life, is back with more life lessons from the neighborhood. Recalling stories of his own colorful journey from the streets of Bensonhurst to the bright lights of Las Vegas and stardom as Bobby "Bacala" Baccalieri in the HBO hit series The Sopranos, Schirripa observes the finer points of amore in all its forms--love for his mother and her Sunday sauce, his wife and kids, his friends, his goomar on the side, even for his car (and he better not catch you eating in it, if you know what's good for you). Alternately touching, telling, and laugh-out-loud funny, The Goomba's Book of Love proves that no one loves as fiercely (or as frequently) as a goomba.
A Goomba's Guide to Life
by Steven R. Schirripa Charles FlemingAttention would-be paesans: Can't distinguish "gabagool" from "pasta fazool"? Not sure how to properly accessorize your track suit with gold chains? Does the phrase "go to the mattresses" make you sleepy? Now Steven R. Schirripa, The Sopranos' own Bobby Bacala, exposes the inner mysteries of this unique Italian-American hybrid in A Goomba's Guide to Life so that anyone can walk, talk, and live like a guy "from the neighborhood." Über-goomba Steve Schirripa shows how being a goomba made him what he is today, offering lessons learned on his own journey from Bensonhurst to Vegas, and to his current gig as Bobby Bacala on one of TV's most popular shows. Along the way, he shares secrets that will help you get in touch with your own inner goomba. You'll learn what music to enjoy (Sinatra, yes; Snoop Dogg, no), what movies to watch (Raging Bull, yes; Titanic, never), which sports to follow (baseball is good; golf and tennis, fuhgeddaboudit), and even tips on goomba etiquette. Ever wonder how a real goomba gets the best seat in the house? (Hint: It involves tipping, jewelry, and intimidation. ) Schirripa even includes goomba do's and don'ts (never, ever criticize a goomba's mother or her gravy; always wear more jewelry than you think you need). With knockout photographs of Schirripa and his compares, and insider information on how to think goomba, speak goomba, cook and eat goomba, and even how to behave at goomba weddings and funerals, A Goomba's Guide to Life will show any wiseguy wannabe how to sing like a Soprano.
Gooney Bird and All Her Charms
by Lois Lowry Middy Thomas"It's March!" Mrs. Pidgeon said as she wrote the day's date on the chalkboard. "In like a lion, out like a lamb!" The morning bell has rung at Watertower Elementary School, and it's time for Mrs. Pidgeon's class to turn to page 52 in their science books to learn about one of the most spectacular scientific subjects of all--the human body! As usual, Gooney Bird has a special plan to make learning more fun. But what on earth is in that scary-looking box that her uncle, Dr. Oglethorpe, has brought to the second grade? And what does it have to do with the charms on Gooney's jingling silver bracelet? It looks as if another special story is in the works!
Gooney Bird Greene
by Lois Lowry Middy ThomasFrom the moment Gooney Bird Greene arrives at Watertower Elementary School, her fellow second-graders are intrigued by her unique sense of style and her unusual lunches. So when story time arrives, the choice is unanimous: they want to hear about Gooney Bird Greene. And that suits her just fine, because, as it turns out, Gooney Bird has quite a few interesting and "absolutely true" stories to tell.Through Gooney Bird and her tales, acclaimed author Lois Lowry introduces young readers to the concepts and elements of storytelling. By demonstrating some of the simple techniques that reveal the extraordinary in everyday events, this book will encourage the storyteller in everyone.