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I F*cking Love You: Real and Relatable Ways to Be Romantic
by Summersdale PublishersI love you more than I love cake. And I really like cake.Romantic declarations don’t need to be all lovey-dovey: they can be amusingly honest or laced with profanity! Forget the mushy stuff you see in the movies – this book is loaded with down-to-earth proclamations and witty one-liners that will let a special someone know how you really feel.
I F*cking Love You: Real and Relatable Ways to Be Romantic
by Summersdale PublishersI love you more than I love cake. And I really like cake.Romantic declarations don’t need to be all lovey-dovey: they can be amusingly honest or laced with profanity! Forget the mushy stuff you see in the movies – this book is loaded with down-to-earth proclamations and witty one-liners that will let a special someone know how you really feel.
I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts On Being A Woman
by Nora Ephron#1 NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A candid, hilarious look at women of a certain age and dealing with the tribulations of maintenance, menopause, empty nests, and life itself.&“Wickedly witty ... Crackling sharp ... Fireworks shoot out [of this collection].&” —The Boston GlobeWith her disarming, intimate, completely accessible voice, and dry sense of humor, Nora Ephron chronicles her life as an obsessed cook, passionate city dweller, and hapless parent. But mostly she speaks frankly and uproariously about life as an older woman. Utterly courageous, uproariously funny, and unexpectedly moving in its truth telling, I Feel Bad About My Neck is a scrumptious, irresistible treat of a book, full of truths, laugh out loud moments that will appeal to readers of all ages.
I Feel Relatively Neutral About New York
by Jory John Avery MonsenHave you ever loved something, but also totally not loved it at the same time? Would you like to "heart" New York, but you're not quite ready for that kind of commitment? Have you ever had the feeling that other cities probably have pretty good pizza, too? This light-hearted skewering of the Big Apple sets the record straight with semi-informed opinions, questionable charts, and some slapdash Photoshop work. On a scale from one to spectacular, we give New York a five. And after reading this book, we think you ll agree! Or whatever.
I Finally Bought Some Jordans: Essays
by Michael Arceneaux"Very good writers have an ability to make you understand what they're feeling. But the very best writers have an ability to make you understand what you're feeling. And that's where Michael Arceneaux sits, and that's what he does in this new book. It's like he's crawling around inside your head opening file cabinets and telling you what the gibberish you've scribbled on each page in each file means. What a great, fun read."—Shea Serrano, #1 New York Times bestselling authorNew York Times bestselling author Michael Arceneaux returns with a hilarious collection of essays about making your voice heard in an increasingly noisy and chaotic world.In his books I Can't Date Jesus and I Don't Want to Die Poor, Michael Arceneaux established himself as one of the most beloved and entertaining writers of his generation, touching upon such hot-button topics as race, class, sexuality, labor, debt, and, of course, paying homage to the power and wisdom of Beyoncé. In this collection, Arceneaux takes stock of how far he has traveled—and how much ground he still has to cover in this patriarchal, heteronormative society. He explores the opportunities afforded to Black creatives but also the doors that remain shut or ever-so-slightly ajar; the confounding challenges of dating in a time when social media has made everything both more accessible and more unreliable; and the allure of returning home while still pushing yourself to seek opportunity elsewhere.I Finally Bought Some Jordans is both a corrective to, and a balm for, these troubling times, revealing a sharply funny and keen-eyed storyteller working at the height of his craft.
I Flipping Love You
by Helena HuntingFrom New York Times bestselling author Helena Hunting comes I Flipping Love You, a love story about flipping houses, taking risks, and landing that special someone who’s move-in ready.Rian Sutter doesn’t usually get hit on in the grocery store, but when she notices a sexy man in a suit checking her out, she thinks maybe it’s her lucky day. Either that or the suit has a thing for sweaty, yoga-pant wearing women with excellent price matching skills.Turns out it’s neither.Pierce Whitfield can’t believe his luck when he’s able to track down the woman who scratched up the paint job on his car at the scene of the crime. But when he confronts the hit and run hottie, he discovers there’s not just one, but two of them, and he’s been throwing accusations at the wrong twin.As repair costs are negotiated, and the chemistry between them flares, Rian and Pierce find out they have more than mutual attraction in common. They’re both vying for the same pieces of prime real estate in The Hamptons and neither one plans to give up without a fight.Can these passionate rivals turn up the heat on their budding romance—without burning down the house?
I Followed The Rules
by Joanna BolouriCatriona Buchanan, a thirty-six-year-old journalist and single mother, lives a quiet life in Glasgow with her daughter Grace. Single for six years but for a handful of failed relationships with all the wrong men and a string of one-night stands, Cat decides she's had enough of her homegrown efforts to find love. Instead, she purchases the infamous dating bible The Ten Rules of Enticement, and vows to obey its advice to the letter and chronicle her experiences.The novel follows Cat as she tries to discount everything she thought she knew about the dating world in her quest to become the kind of woman men desire to be with. Eventually, as her efforts are rewarded and she nets not one but two viable new love interests, Cat must decide whether pretending to be someone she's not is worth the payoff of having a man in love with her for all the wrong reasons.
I Followed the Rules: a laugh-out-loud romcom you won't be able to put down!
by Joanna BolouriMy friends think I'm insane, I'm stalking men all over town, and I'm on a deadline. High-flying journalist Cat Buchanan has been single for six years. So she's sceptical when assigned to write a story on The Rules of Engagement, a book which promises to teach women how to find the man of their dreams in ten easy steps. As far as Cat's concerned, the book belongs in 1892, but she's promised to follow it to the letter. After all, what does she have to lose by playing love at its own game? 'If you hear someone snorting beside the pool this summer, they'll reading this' Grazia
I Followed the Rules: a laugh-out-loud romcom you won't be able to put down!
by Joanna BolouriMy friends think I'm insane, I'm stalking men all over town, and I'm on a deadline. High-flying journalist Cat Buchanan has been single for six years. So she's sceptical when assigned to write a story on The Rules of Engagement, a book which promises to teach women how to find the man of their dreams in ten easy steps. As far as Cat's concerned, the book belongs in 1892, but she's promised to follow it to the letter. After all, what does she have to lose by playing love at its own game? 'If you hear someone snorting beside the pool this summer, they'll reading this' Grazia
I Followed the Rules: a laugh-out-loud romcom you won't be able to put down!
by Joanna BolouriMy friends think I'm insane, I'm stalking men all over town, and I'm on a deadline. High-flying journalist Cat Buchanan has been single for six years. So she's sceptical when assigned to write a story on The Rules of Engagement, a book which promises to teach women how to find the man of their dreams in ten easy steps. As far as Cat's concerned, the book belongs in 1892, but she's promised to follow it to the letter. After all, what does she have to lose by playing love at its own game?'If you hear someone snorting beside the pool this summer, they'll reading this' Grazia (P)2015 WF Howes Ltd
I Found A Kitty!
by Troy CummingsIt doesn't get any cuter! This sequel to the New York Times bestseller Can I Be Your Dog? (which appeared on the TODAY show) has Arfy the dog trying to find a forever home for an abandoned kitten!Lucky dog Arfy has a home. When he discovers a homeless kitten, Arfy hopes Scamper can come live with him, but--achoo!--his person is allergic to cats! So, Arfy writes persuasive letters to prospective owners about what a great pet Scamper would make. But somehow these matches aren't made in heaven. If Scamper can't live with any of them, where will he go? He needs a quiet home where he could make people as happy as they'll make him, full of laps, pats and purrs, and yarn balls....Arfy thinks he knows just the place!! Another winning, heart-tugging story that's perfect for cat lovers, dog lovers, and pet adoption advocates. Troy Cummings writes a great read aloud, and the book showcases many styles of letters, making it appealing to parents and teachers looking to teach the lost art of written communication. Helpful tips in the backmatter inform children how they can help the plight of homeless animals. Praise for Can I Be Your Dog?: "It's an instant classic in our household." --#1 New York Times bestselling author Sarah J. Maas
I Funny TV: A Middle School Story (I Funny #4)
by James Patterson Chris Grabenstein Laura ParkJamie Grimm has hit the big time in book four of the #1 bestselling I Funny series! Jamie Grimm has finally accomplished his dream of proving himself the Planet's Funniest Kid Comic, and the sky's the limit from there. Enter a couple of TV executives with a huge plan for Jamie: a new show about Jamie and his oddball friends! But when Jamie struggles to learn the acting ropes, will it be an early curtain call for the biggest show of the decade?
I Funny: A Middle School Story (I Funny #1)
by James Patterson Chris Grabenstein#1 bestselling author James Patterson doles out the laughs in the first book in the hit series! Middle-schooler Jamie Grimm faces bullies and self-doubt as he chases his dream of becoming the world&’s greatest comedian Jamie Grimm is a middle schooler on a mission: he wants to become the world's greatest standup comedian--even if he doesn't have a lot to laugh about these days. He's new in town and stuck living with his aunt, uncle, and their evil son Stevie, a bully who doesn't let Jamie's wheelchair stop him from messing with Jamie as much as possible. But Jamie doesn't let his situation get him down. When his Uncle Frankie mentions a contest called The Planet's Funniest Kid Comic, Jamie knows he has to enter. But are the judges only rewarding him out of pity because of his wheelchair, like Stevie suggests? Will Jamie ever share the secret of his troubled past instead of hiding behind his comedy act? Prepare to laugh and cheer along with Jamie in this highly-illustrated, heartfelt middle school story.
I Funny: School of Laughs (I Funny #5)
by James PattersonTo save his school library, Jamie Grimm teaches other kids how to tell jokes in a comedy class -- but it's tougher than he expects in this funny book for kids of all ages.Teaching other kids how to be funny is the toughest gig that Jamie Grimm has ever had, and with the highest stakes. If he fails, his school library will be shut down for good!Even though he has a national contest trophy and a TV show under his belt, Jamie Grimm isn't one to sit back and relax. When his school has a major funding crisis, Jamie hits on a bright idea to save the day -- a comedy class for the other students. Little does he know that making jokes and teaching jokes are two very different things . . . and he's only good at one of them. With the fate of his school's library on his shoulders, Jamie has to dig deep to see if he has what it takes to succeed at his most difficult challenge yet.
I Got A New Friend
by Karl Newsom EdwardsA sweet introduction to owning a pet that is perfect for readers of The Most Magnificent Thing and A Ball for Daisy. When a little girl gets a new puppy, they have a lot to learn about each other. The new friends can be shy, messy, and sometimes get into trouble. They get lost, but they always get found. Their friendship may be a lot of work—but at the end of the day, they love each other! Experience the excitement and mystery surrounding a new pet (and a new friend) in this joyful picture book from acclaimed author and illustrator Karl Newsom Edwards.A Bank Street Best Book of the Year"Cheerfully ingenuous...Totally, infectiously ebullient."--Kirkus Reviews, Starred review"A joyous look at the work and play that go into pet ownership and friendship."--Booklist"The concise, cheery text gently explains what to expect when a newcomer joins the household, [and] the illustrations are cartoonlike and sweet. The curly-haired, brown-skinned little girl and the large-eared, spotted puppy make an adorable pair as they learn what it means to gain a new companion."--School Library Journal
I Got a "D" in Salami (Hank Zipzer, the World's Greatest Underachiever #2)
by Henry Winkler Lin OliverIt's report card day-the most dreaded day in Hank's school year. And when Hank gets his grades, they're his worst nightmare come true: a D in spelling, a D in reading, a D in math.<P><P> After school, Hank and his friends go to his mom's deli. His mom is on the prowl-she knows a report card day when she sees one. Hank tries to stall her, but she's going for his backpack. He's cornered. Hank hands the report card off to his friend Frankie, who gives it to his friend Ashley, who gives it to Robert, who puts it into a meat grinder! Hank watches as his Ds are ground into a big salami, and this particular salami is being made for a very important client. How will Hank get out of this one?
I Got a D in Salami (Hank Zipzer, the World's Greatest Underachiever #2)
by Henry Winkler Lin Oliver Tim HeitzIt's report card day-the most dreaded day in Hank's school year. And when Hank gets his grades, they're his worst nightmare come true: a D in spelling, a D in reading, a D in math. <P><P>After school, Hank and his friends go to his mom's deli. His mom is on the prowl-she knows a report card day when she sees one. Hank tries to stall her, but she's going for his backpack. He's cornered. Hank hands the report card off to his friend Frankie, who gives it to his friend Ashley, who gives it to Robert, who puts it into a meat grinder! Hank watches as his Ds are ground into a big salami, and this particular salami is being made for a very important client. How will Hank get out of this one? <p><b> Lexile Level: 650L</b></p>
I Had a Nice Time And Other Lies...: How to find love & sh*t like that
by The BetchesThe New York Times bestselling authors of Nice Is Just a Place in France and creators of the online humor and advice phenomenon Betches.com and Instagram account @Betches explain the brutal truths of how to date like a true betch, with insights from the Head Pro.In the age of Tinder, Hinge, or any other dating app that matches you with randos, the dating game has grown complex and confusing. Cue the Betches--first, we helped you win at basically everything, and now we're going to help you win the most important battle a betch can face. Maybe you're a Delusional Dater who needs to get in touch with reality (seriously, he's just NOT that f***ing into you) or perhaps you're a TGF who needs to stop being so desperate and start playing the game. Or maybe you're just tired of swiping left and ready for the pro of your dreams to put a 15-karat diamond ring on it so you can stop pretending to do work. Either way, we've got you covered. With insight from the Betches' own Head Pro, this book is a must-have bible for any betch looking for love. So put away the Ben & Jerry's fro-yo (just because it's low fat doesn't mean it's okay to eat the whole tub) and start dating like a winner.
I Hadn't Understood (The Vincenzo Malinconico Novels #1)
by Diego De SilvaThis &“sharp-edged comedic novel of a semi-hapless Italian lawyer&” who finds himself employed by the mob was a finalist for Italy&’s prestigious Strega Prize (Kirkus Reviews). Vincenzo Malinconico is a wildly unsuccessful lawyer who spends most of his time at the office trying to look busy. His wife has left him. His teenage children worry him to death. And he suffers from a chronic inability to control his sentence structure. When he is asked to fill in as the public defender for alleged Mafioso Mimmo &’o Burzone, Malinconico seizes the opportunity to turn his life around. Without dwelling too long on what it might mean to be employed by the mob, he rushes to re-learn the Italian criminal code. Soon, Malinconico&’s life becomes a comic battle to finish what he has started without falling further into the mafia&’s clutches. Diego De Silva&’s rollicking, Naples Prize–winning comic novel orbits the irresistible mind of one of contemporary Italian fiction&’s most beloved characters. Throughout his travails, Vincenzo contemplates every aspect of the life he sees before him in a wry voice that seduces, entertains, and moves the reader from the first page to the last.
I Has a Hotdog: What Your Dog Is Really Thinking
by Professor HappycatI HAS A BWAIN!! 1! An you thawt we dint! Now Professor Happycat tells you what's in it and, from I HAS A HOTDOG. com and beyond, lets over 200 LOLdogs loose on the world, all barking the truth about kibble, toys, and bad kitties. This collection of favorites and never-before-seen photos will have you barking for more! For all you hoomins, a LOLdog is a kay-nine picture with a funny, misspelled caption.
I Hate Ann Coulter
by UnanimousBy examining her life and writings, chronicling her black Tuesday (6/6/06) Today show appearance, and reading her interviews and comments, we hope to do our part in putting her out of our lives.
I Hate Everyone
by Matthew DibenedettiIt's true: Misery does love company. But what kind of company can you keep if you can't standanyone? This kind. No matter who they are or what they do that sets you off and gets you going, you'll find 'em inside. From rich people who are dicks to guys named Rich who go by Dick to those who are always cold to people who are just hot, no one is safe. But one thing is certain--everyone will find someone they equally despise. And you're gonna love it, period.
I Hate Everyone
by Matthew DibenedettiIt's true: Misery does love company. But what kind of company can you keep if you can't stand anyone? This kind. No matter who they are or what they do that sets you off and gets you going, you'll find 'em inside. From rich people who are dicks to guys named Rich who go by Dick to those who are always cold to people who are just hot, no one is safe. But one thing is certain-everyone will find someone they equally despise. And you're gonna love it, period.
I Hate Everyone
by Matthew DibenedittiIt's true: Misery does love company. But what kind of company can you keep if you can't stand anyone? This kind. No matter who they are or what they do that sets you off and gets you going, you'll find 'em inside. From rich people who are dicks to guys named Rich who go by Dick to those who are always cold to people who are just hot, no one is safe. But one thing is certain--everyone will find someone they equally despise. And you're gonna love it, period.
I Hate Everyone, Except You
by Clinton KellyBestselling author and television host Clinton Kelly pens a hilariously candid, deliciously snarky collection of essays about his journey from awkward kid to slightly-less-awkward adult.Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore-unknown secrets about himself, like that he’s a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey’s premier water parks, and perhaps the world’s least enthused high-school commencement speaker. Whether he’s throwing his baby sister in the air to jumpstart her cheerleading career or heroically rescuing his best friend from death by mud bath, Clinton leaps life’s social hurdles with aplomb. With his signature wit, he shares his unique ability to navigate the stickiest of situations, like deciding whether it’s acceptable to eat chicken wings with a fork on live television (spoiler: it’s not). Clinton delves into all these topics—and many more—in this thoroughly unabashedly frank and uproarious collection.