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It's All Relative: Two Families, Three Dogs, 34 Holidays, and 50 Boxes of Wine (A Memoir)
by Wade RouseHow come the only thing my family tree ever grows is nuts?" Wade Rouse attempts to answer that question in his blisteringly funny new memoir by looking at the yearly celebrations that unite us all and bring out the very best and worst in our nearest and dearest. Family is truly the only gift that keeps on giving--namely, the gifts of dysfunction and eccentricity--and Wade Rouse's family has been especially charitable: His chatty yet loving mother dresses her sonas a Ubangi tribesman, in blackface, for Halloween in the rural Ozarks; his unconventional engineer ofa father buries his children's Easter eggs; his marvelouslyMartha Stewart-esque partner believes Barbie is his baby; his garage-sale obsessed set of in-laws areconvinced they can earn more than Warren Buffett by selling their broken lamps and Nehru jackets; hismutt Marge speaks her own language; and his oddball collection of relatives includes a tipsy Santa Clauswith an affinity for showing off his jingle balls. In the end, though, the Rouse House gifted Wade with love,laughter, understanding, superb comic timing, and a humbling appreciation for humiliation. Whether Wade dates a mime on his birthday to overcome his phobia of clowns or outruns a chubchasing boss on Secretary's Day, he captures our holidays with his trademark self-deprecating humor and acerbic wit. He paints a funny, sad, poignant, andoutlandish portrait of an an all-too-typical family that will have you appreciating--or bemoaning--yourown and shrieking in laughter.From the Hardcover edition.
It's All Right Now: A Novel
by Charles ChadwickMeet Tom Ripple, a man with an uncommon outlook on his common life. Through the vividness of his voice and his growing sense of the sorrow and absurdity of the world, Tom Ripple becomes an unusually appealing antihero, aware of his ordinariness and the limits of his intelligence, with a ribald sense of humor, and a clumsiness in his attempts at emotional connection with others. He is a bewildered everyman navigating his way through modern times. By turns poignant, funny, heartbreaking, and profound, It's All Right Now is a towering achievement and a singular work of the imagination.
It's All Your Fault (Scholastic Press Novels)
by Paul RudnickOne last chance. One wild weekend. Flat out the funniest book of the year."Paul Rudnick makes me lie hysterical on the floor, screeching with laughter and sobbing with fury that I can't write the way he does." -- E. Lockhart, author of We Were Liars and The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-BanksMy name is Caitlin and up until forty-eight hours ago I had never:Tasted alcohol, kissed a boy, sang in public at the top of my lungs, kidnapped anyone or -- WHAT? STOLEN A CONVERTIBLE?Now I'm in jail and I have no idea what I'm going to tell:The police, my parents, the mayor, all of those camera crews and everyone on Twitter.I have just noticed that:My nose is pierced and I have-WAIT? IS THAT A TATTOO?I blame one person for this entire insane weekend:My famous cousin.Who is also my former best friend.Who I have HATED for the past four years.Who I miss like crazy. NO I DON'T!!!!IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, HELLER HARRIGAN!!!!
It's All Zoo: A Paris Love Story
by Gerald A. BrowneNew York Times–bestselling author Gerald A. Browne&’s stylish debut novel about a pair of unlikely lovers in 1960s Paris It&’s not the prostitutes who are keeping Lillian awake. She may share her apartment building with a bordello, but the sounds that seep through the walls do not bother her. Ever since her boyfriend left her, taking her heart and all her clothes, the Paris nights have been unbearable. And so she takes refuge in the only place she can be herself: Sascha&’s, where the insomniacs of Paris go to drink, dance, and fall in love. There&’s Mr. Bread, a slumming millionaire. There&’s Big Red and Elsa, a couple who can always be relied on for a good time. And now there&’s Graham, a hopelessly square American whom Lillian decides to take under her wing. As the days and nights of swinging Paris spin into a blur, this gang of romantic expats must fight to stay together, or risk coming apart at the seams.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The 7 Secrets of Awakening the Highly Effective Four-Hour Giant, Today
by The GangCharlie, Mac, Dennis, Sweet Dee, and Frank attempt their most ill-conceived, get-rich-quick scheme yet: publishing a “self-help book.”The Gang may have finally found their golden ticket. Left alone to close down Paddy’s Pub one night, Charlie Kelly inadvertently scored himself, and his friends, the opportunity of a lifetime—a book deal with a real publishing company, real advance money, and a real(ly confused) editor. While his actual ability to read and write remains unclear, Charlie sealed the deal with some off-the-cuff commentary on bird law and the nuances of killing rats (and maybe with the help of some glue fumes in the basement with an unstable editor on a bender). While The Gang is stunned by the news, and the legally binding, irrevocable contract left on the bar, they are also ready to rise to the task and become millionaires—and of course, help Charlie actually write the book.In their own inimitable voices, Charlie, Mac, Dennis, Sweet Dee, and Frank weigh in on important topics like Relationships, Financial Success and Career, Fashion and Personal Grooming, Health and Diet, and Survival Skills, providing insane advice, tips, tricks, and recipes (Rum Ham anyone?) as only they can.Fans of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia rejoice and welcome the most influential work in the history of the written word (or at least since the script for The Nightman Cometh): The 7 Secrets of Awakening the Highly Effective Four-Hour Giant, Today.
It's Been a Pleasure, Noni Blake: A Novel
by Claire Christian"A vibrant story of self-discovery...sure to capture readers' hearts."—Publishers Weekly, starred reviewA sparkling, feel-good tale about starting over, for anyone who's spent too much of their own life making other people happy.What if you made yourself your number one priority?Of all the women and men Noni Blake has pleased in her life, there&’s one she&’s often overlooked—herself. After the end of a decade-long relationship, Noni decides it&’s time for that to change. She&’s finally going to prioritize her wants and desires and only do things (and people) that feel good in the moment.As she embarks on a pleasure-seeking quest that takes her halfway around the world, she discovers that maybe she can have everything, and everyone, she&’s ever wanted.Effortlessly hilarious and relatable, Claire Christian spins a fresh, uplifting story about starting over as a thirtysomething woman who&’s been living life for everyone else. A story of self-discovery for the ages, Noni&’s journey serves as a reminder that life is what we make of it—so why not enjoy it?"Funny, refreshing and empowering."—Lindsey Kelk
It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies: A Book of Zombie Christmas Carols
by Michael P. SpradlinThe snow is falling, the holidays are approaching and…It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies! This delightfully depraved book of classic Zombie Christmas carols by Michael P. Spradlin is guaranteed to spread Yuletide cheer to all those good boys and ghouls who devoured the monster New York Times bestsellers Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and World War Z, as well as fans of 28 Days Later and Shaun of the Dead. With an introduction by the inimitable Christopher Moore—bestselling author of Bloodsucking Fiends, You Suck, andthe classic “heartwarming tale of Christmas terror” The Stupidest Angel—It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies is a great gift for stuffing into a Christmas stocking…provided you remove the bloody severed foot first!
It's Better Being a Bunny (Beginner Books(R))
by Marilyn SadlerPerfect for Easter or celebrating bunnies all year round. A charming follow-up to the classic Beginner Book It&’s Not Easy Being a Bunny!P.J. Funnybunny is back and more lovable than ever in this sweet, funny sequel. P.J. Funnybunny is not having a good day. His mom won't let him eat ice cream for breakfast. She won't let him hang upside down from a tree. She won't even let him watch a scary movie! P.J. visits Potts Pig, whose mom lets them do all those things. But when he gets a stomachache and has a bad dream, P.J. Funnybunny realizes that--while it's fun to be a pig--it's better being a bunny! This new tale of self-discovery is the perfect Easter treat for beginning readers and bunny fans of all ages!
It's Christmas, David!
by David ShannonThe bestselling star of No, David! turns Christmas traditions upside down with laugh-aloud humor.Readers of all ages will vividly remember trying to peek at hidden gift packages; writing scrolls of wish lists to Santa; and struggling to behave at formal Christmas dinner parties. Always in the background, we know Santa Claus is watching, soon to decide if David deserves a shiny new fire truck or a lump of coal under the tree. From playing with delicate ornaments to standing in an endlessly long line for Santa, here are common Christmas activities--but with David's naughty trimmings. A surefire hit that is destined to be an annual classic.
It's Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
by Colin NissanA passionate and profane love letter to fall, the best fucking season of the year.Do you get excited at the first brisk breeze of the year? Are you overcome with delight when you see piles of red leaves? Do you lose your fucking mind at a pumpkin patch?At last, the epically funny internet sensation It's Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers is now a visual tour-de-force, teeming with a cornucopia of perfectly paired photos and seasonal enchantments to make it really fucking sing. Whiffy candles, wicker baskets, motherfucking gourd after gourd, and people going insane they love fall so much? Check!Also included: the equally lifechanging meditation It's Rotting Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers, because all good things must end.Give it to everyone you love, or put it on your fucking coffee table next to a pile of shellacked vegetables to really tie the room together.Perfect for: For anyone who fucking loves fall, and fans of McSweeney's, Go the Fuck to Sleep, Deep Thoughts, the Onion, and the New Yorker.
It's Different For Girls
by Jo BrandA wonderfully funny and poignant novel about growing up in the seventies, teenage angst, growing pains and first love. Rachel and Susan do not like to be beside the seaside. Hastings is so uncool. Plunging headfirst into the choppy waters of adolescence, they are determined to survive their teens by sticking together. It?s a rollercoaster ride of nutty parents, randy language students, stoned hippies, all-night parties on the pier, and an amusement arcade of emotional neediness.
It's Different for Girls
by Jo BrandA wonderfully funny and poignant novel about growing up in the seventies, teenage angst, growing pains and first love.Rachel and Susan do not like to be beside the seaside. Hastings is so uncool. Plunging headfirst into the choppy waters of adolescence, they are determined to survive their teens by sticking together. It’s a rollercoaster ride of nutty parents, randy language students, stoned hippies, all-night parties on the pier, and an amusement arcade of emotional neediness.
It's Earlier 'Tis Getting: The Christmas Book of Irish Mammies
by Colm O'ReganChristmas – a time for peace, joy and Mammies. While others are focusing on Santa/Santy, the school nativity play, the office party and its wild cousin the Twelve Pubs, panicked present shopping and the delicate diplomacy of in-law visiting, the Irish Mammy is mobilized in her war-room – ready for the campaign. Electric blankets have been set to maximum power; cards have been despatched; the turkey has been ordered; the decorations have been retrieved from the Place Where The Decorations Go and the fifth Big Shop (to get breadcrumbs) has been completed. There are homecomings from near and far, new arrivals, drama, bustle, tears and laughter, and Mammy at the heart of it all, directing operations. There’s bound to be something she’s forgotten – but luckily, just like a certain someone, she’s made a list.
It's Elementary
by Elise BryantA fast-paced, completely delightful new mystery about what happens when parents get a little too involved in their kids' schools, from NAACP Image Award nominee Elise Bryant.Mavis Miller is not a PTA mom. She has enough on her plate with her feisty seven-year-old daughter, Pearl, an exhausting job at a nonprofit, and the complexities of a multigenerational household. So no one is more surprised than Mavis when she caves to Trisha Holbrook, the long-reigning, slightly terrifying PTA president, and finds herself in charge of the school&’s brand-new DEI committee.As one of the few Black parents at this California elementary school, Mavis tries to convince herself this is an opportunity for real change. But things go off the rails at the very first meeting, when the new principal's plans leave Trisha absolutely furious. Later that night, when Mavis spies Trisha in yellow rubber gloves and booties, lugging cleaning supplies and giant black trash bags to her waiting minivan, it&’s only natural that her mind jumps to somewhere it surely wouldn&’t in the light of day.Except Principal Smith fails to show up for work the next morning, and has been MIA since the meeting. Determined to get to the bottom of things, Mavis, along with the school psychologist with the great forearms (look, it&’s worth noting), launches an investigation that will challenge her views on parenting, friendship, and elementary school politics.Brilliantly written, It's Elementary is a quick-witted, escapist romp that perfectly captures just how far parents will go to give their kids the very best, all wrapped in a mystery that will leave you guessing to the very end.
It's Garry Shandling's Book
by Edited an introduction by Judd ApatowFrom Judd Apatow comes an intimate portrait of his mentor, the legendary stand-up comic and star of The Larry Sanders Show, with never-before-seen journal entries and photos, as well as new contributions by fellow comedians and writers. Garry Shandling was a singular trailblazer in the comedy world. His two hit shows, It&’s Garry Shandling&’s Show and The Larry Sanders Show, broke new ground and influenced future sitcoms like 30 Rock and Curb Your Enthusiasm, and his stand-up laid the foundation for a whole new generation of comics. There&’s no one better to tell Shandling&’s story than Judd Apatow—Shandling gave Apatow one of his first jobs and remained his mentor for the rest of his life—and the book expands on Apatow&’s Emmy Award-winning HBO documentary, The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling.Here, Apatow has gathered journal entries, photographs, and essays for a close-up look at the artist who turned his gaze back onto the world of show business. Beyond his success, though, Shandling struggled with fame, the industry of art, and the childhood loss of his brother, which forever affected his personal and professional lives. His diaries show Shandling to be self-aware and insightful, revealing a deep philosophical and spiritual side. Contributions by comedians and other leading lights of the industry, as well as people who grew up with Shandling, along with never-before-seen pieces of scripts and brilliant jokes that he never performed, shed new light on every facet of his life and work. This book is the final word on the lasting impact of the great Garry Shandling.
It's Hard to Fight Naked
by Niecy NashNiecy Nash is already known as a relationship expert thanks to her popular weekly web series on Yahoo!, “Let’s Talk About Love.” Her relatable charm and signature sense of humor shine on topics, ranging from “Why Women Date Bad Boys” to “Why Men Cheat” and “Online Dating Tips.” Now the popular comedian and television actress brings all her expertise to her new relationship book.In You Can't Fight Naked, Niecy gives a fresh, fun spin on finding true love—and staying smitten. A self-proclaimed “hopeless romantic” who got married at the young age of twenty-one, only to find herself back on the dating scene after her divorce at thirty-five (and discovering a “hot, buttery new love” soon afterward), Niecy has seen it all, and she’s ready to share her hard-earned wisdom! Niecy strives to help you think differently about matters of the heart, making the search for love a simple endeavor and not intimidating or complicated. Through personal experiences, anecdotes, and endearing Niecy-isms, You Can't Fight Naked will inspire, motivate, and educate you to experience love in a satisfying, new way.
It's Hard to be Hip Over Thirty and Other Tragedies of Married Life
by Judith ViorstShort book of timely poetry written in 1968. Asterisks between stanzas.
It's How You Play the Game: The Powerful Sports Moments That Taught Lasting Values to America's Finest
by Brian KilmeadeIn life as in sports, it's how you play the game that mattersYou don't have to be a star athlete to take away valuable lessons from the world of sports, whether it's learning how to get along with others, to never give up, or to be gracious in victory and defeat. In this companion volume to his New York Times bestseller, The Games Do Count, Brian Kilmeade reveals personal stories of the defining sports moments in the lives of athletes, CEOs, actors, politicians, and historical figures—and how what they learned on the field prepared them to handle life and overcome adversity with courage, dignity, and sportsmanship.
It's In His Kiss: Bridgerton (Bridgertons #7)
by Julia QuinnA New York Times BestsellerFrom #1 New York Times bestselling author Julia Quinn comes the story of Hyacinth Bridgerton, in the seventh of her beloved Regency-set novels featuring the charming, powerful Bridgerton family, now a series created by Shondaland for Netflix.HYACINTH’S STORYMeet Our Hero . . .Gareth St. Clair is in a bind. His father, who detests him, is determined to beggar the St. Clair estates and ruin his inheritance. Gareth’s sole bequest is an old family diary, which may or may not contain the secrets of his past . . . and the key to his future. The problem is—it’s written in Italian, of which Gareth speaks not a word.Meet Our Heroine . . .All the ton agreed: there was no one quite like Hyacinth Bridgerton. She’s fiendishly smart, devilishly outspoken, and according to Gareth, probably best in small doses. But there’s something about her—something charming and vexing—that grabs him and won’t quite let go . . .Meet Poor Mr. Mozart . . . Or don’t. But rest assured, he’s spinning in his grave when Gareth and Hyacinth cross paths at the annual—and annually discordant—Smythe-Smith musicale. To Hyacinth, Gareth’s every word seems a dare, and she offers to translate his diary, even though her Italian is slightly less than perfect. But as they delve into the mysterious text, they discover that the answers they seek lie not in the diary, but in each other . . . and that there is nothing as simple—or as complicated—as a single, perfect kiss.
It's Just a F***ing Date: Some Sort of Book About Dating
by Greg Behrendt Amiira RuotolaA fresh and fun guide to dating from the #1 New York Times bestselling coauthor of He&’s Just Not That Into You and How to Keep Your Marriage From Sucking. &“Jam-packed with straight-talking tips . . . and quite frankly, we can&’t put it down.&”—The Sun Why does dating have to be so hard? It doesn&’t! Stop trying to out-game the system and relax. It&’s Just a F***ing Date presents the tools, not the rules, for bringing back the art of the date. The ordeals of 21st-century dating, from online dating and hooking up to pulling the plug when it isn&’t working, will soon be easy to navigate. With tips to define what is and isn&’t a date, how to get asked out, and setting your own dating standards, dating won&’t seem old-fashioned, it will be fun. Bestselling authors Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola return to the minefield of modern relationships with this revised and updated edition.Praise for He&’s Just Not That Into You &“No ego-soothing platitudes. No pop psychology. No cute relationship tricks. He&’s just not that into you.&”—The Washington Post &“Brims with straight talk about the boy-meets-girl game, delivered with hefty doses of humor from the Y chromosome&’s mouth.&”—USA Today &“A surprisingly fascinating addition to the cultural canon of single, urban life.&”—Los Angeles Times &“Evil genius.&”—The New York TimesPraise for It&’s Called a Breakup Because It&’s Broken &“You will get through this, and you&’ll do it faster with the help of It&’s Called a Breakup Because It&’s Broken.&”—Glamour &“Behrendt&’s frankness—never too harsh—is as winning as ever.&”—Publishers Weekly &“Insightful, been-there-have-the-scars-to-prove-it wisdom.&”—New York Post
It's Kind of a Cheesy Love Story
by Lauren MorrillA delicious love story with all the toppings, Lauren Morrill's It's Kind of a Cheesy Love Story is a contemporary YA rom-com about love, friendship, and pizza, perfect for fans of Becky Albertalli and Jenny Han.After her mother gave birth to her in the bathroom of a local pizzeria, Beck has been given the dubious privilege of having minor fame, free pizza for life, and a guaranteed job when she turns sixteen—a job she unfortunately can’t afford to turn down.Now she's stuck with her geeky co-workers instead of taking Instagram-ready shots with her best friends (and her epic crush).But maybe the pizza people aren't all bad. Maybe that pizza delivery guy is kind of cute. And maybe there's a way to make this Bathroom Baby thing work for her. Because when disaster strikes the beloved pizza place that's started to feel like home, she's going to need a miracle—one that might even mean bringing her two worlds together.
It's Lonely in the Modern World: The Essential Guide to Form, Function, and Ennui from the Creators of Unhappy Hipsters
by Molly Jane QuinnThis “satisfying send-up of a design primer . . . presents lessons in hostile faucetry, blinding fluorescents and vicious exposed ductwork.” —The New York TimesTrue modernity requires much more than discipline, vision, and a willingness to live without upper kitchen cabinets. It’s Lonely in the Modern World outlines exactly what’s required to achieve sleek design and the requisite ennui. From the creators of the Unhappy Hipsters website, this essential guide is to hipsters what The Official Preppy Handbook was to prepsters. The authors advise on a number of topics. Readers will learn how to navigate the vast array of concrete finishes and plywood grades, accessorize with children and pets, and opine with authority on rooflines. Featuring detailed illustrations, beautifully staged photos, and helpful charts, this master manual is perfect for aspiring modernists, those who love them, and, of course, those who love to hate them.
It's Me, Two. A Graphic novel (Catwad)
by Jim BentonCatwad, the snarky blue furball with a funny take on just about everything, is BACK in this second graphic novel in an all-new series from New York Times bestselling author Jim Benton!New York Times bestselling author Jim Benton's latest creation, Catwad, returns!Catwad and Blurmp are back and ready for more adventures! In this newest collection of hilarious stories, the dynamic feline duo explore fine art, travel to an alternate reality where the world has become extraordinarily dumb, get into gaming, and more! From monsters under Blurmp's bed to all the reasons you should NEVER eat salad, this newest volume of Catwad has something for everyone!
It's My Birthday
by Hannah PearlFrom the author of Evie&’s Little Black Book, a lonely divorcee gets a surprise for her fortieth birthday—a very handsome single father. Karen could be excused for crying on her birthday, especially as it&’s the first one since her husband got on a plane to the States and never came back. Then there&’s the fact that her workmates were practically bribed to attend her birthday meal. But when a restaurant double booking leads to her sharing a table with single dad Elliot and his daughter, things start looking up. As Karen gets to know Elliot she experiences feelings she thought she&’d never have again. But is it enough? Or will the thing that destroyed Karen&’s previous relationship also ruin things with Elliot?
It's Never Too Late to Get a Life
by Heather EstayAfter twenty-six years, my husband just dumped me for the Neighborhood Watch captain, a woman the size of a Winnebago. Oh, and then he squanders all of our savings and investments. Normally, I would handle this with a week at a spa I can't afford, but the Save Angie Crisis Intervention Team (aka my best friends) insists that instead I need one night of hot, wanton, emotionally uncomplicated sex. A one-night stand. Who knew? If only moving on were so simple. Then I wouldn't suddenly be this close to becoming Sacramento's latest scandal, ruining my son's career, and wetting my pants in this rented G.I. Joe costume I'm wearing (thereby forfeiting my deposit). My friends got me into this, and they've gotta get me out. It's never too late, ladies ...