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Lucky Me
by Debra BordenLucky Me is that rare book that captures--in the vein of Elinor Lipman and Elizabeth Berg--what it really means to be a modern woman. Julie Berman seems to have it all: a beautiful home in suburban New Jersey, a loving husband, a budding career as a freelance journalist, and two great kids. To the outside world, her life is perfect--little do they know that behind the façade, Julie is beginning to feel like her world is falling apart. Among her worries is a nagging fear that she's turning into her mother--just as neurotic, just as crazy, and just as consumed by appearances. Then there's the handsome, charming, and quite single editor at the local newspaper who has definitely taken a liking to her ... which wouldn't be a problem if he wasn't so tempting. Add to that her moody, monosyllabic teenage son, who may or may not be having sex with a new girlfriend (whom Julie's not sure she approves of, sex or not). But the final blow to her sanity comes in the form of a phone call from her daughter, who informs Julie of her plans to run off with her boyfriend ... who's also her college professor. Lucky Me is a journey into the year when everything seems to come to a head in Julie's life--and when she realizes that there are some things you can't control, especially the people you love. Wise, irreverent, tender, and funny, Lucky Me is for every woman who has ever felt--despite her most valiant efforts--less than perfect.
Lucky Me (Lucky Us)
by Saba KapurFor eighteen year old Gia Winters, having a movie star for a father, a former Playboy bunny as a mother, a Hollywood mansion, and a closet stocked with Chanel is simply another day in the life. But her world is turned upside down when her father mysteriously hires a group of bodyguards to trail the family 24/7 and threatening phone calls from a "Dr. D" start buzzing daily. When Gia scores the coveted role of Miss Golden Globe, she is forced to strike a deal with her bodyguard, Jack, who is almost as arrogant as he is attractive. Juggling Gia's romantic failures, fashion faux pas, and celebrity obsessions, the duo investigate a series of clues with the help of a police cadet, who has a special set of skills and an even better set of dimples. But with the Golden Globes just around the corner, danger levels rise higher than her stilettos as Gia learns that the biggest secrets might be the ones buried in her own home. In a place where the hills have eyes, high school nemeses, bad hair days, raging parties, and stolen kisses, there can only be trouble for a girl who was just starting to consider herself lucky.
Lucky Strike
by Pat Wilson Kris WoodLucky Strike is a light-hearted laugh-out-loud mystery with a cast of characters who epitomize life Down East. Eric Spratt, a conservative accountant from Toronto, is forced to flee to the remote Eastern Shore of Nova Scotia and there, become Charles Trenchant, reclusive writer. He knows that anonymity and discretion are the only weapons he has to protect himself from the retribution of the Mafia dons whom he helped to send to jail. Surely, fifty years of a quiet, unassuming existence would prepare him for the life that he must now lead. However, the steamroller hospitality of the rambunctious locals overwhelms any hope that Charles has to keep his profile lower than low. Within days he is embroiled in their nefarious doings and wild antics. The resident rector, Father Donald Peasgood, and his redoubtable sister drag a reluctant Charles into the fold, while his disreputable next-door neighbor involves him in a scheme to burn down the house for the insurance money. Despite his best intentions to remain aloof, Charles lurches from crisis to crisis as this rollicking tale hurtles like a runaway train to its inevitable disastrous climax. When one very unpleasant lady ends up dead, and Charles is the prime suspect, it looks like the only way he can save himself is to flee the humble sanctuary and the open-hearted people he has come to love on the Eastern Shore. Lucky Strike is as full of fun as a Cape Breton kitchen party and as refreshing as a dip in the Atlantic Ocean.
Lucky Supreme: A Darby Holland Crime Novel (#1) (Darby Holland Crime Novel Series #1)
by Jeff JohnsonBest Crime Novel of the Year--Joy Ride through the Tattoo Underworld of Portland's Old Town.The night world of Old Town, Portland, Oregon, has gone mad in the grip of gentrification, and at the center of it all is Lucky Supreme, a seedy tattoo parlor, whose proprietor is a street-bred artist with a unique approach to problem solving. Darby Holland has enough on his radar, but when some flash (tattoo artwork) stolen from him resurfaces in California he can't help himself. His efforts to reclaim it set him on a dangerous path, dragging along his delightfully eccentric colleagues, including the brains behind his brawn, Delia, a twiggy vinyl-clad punk genius secretly from the other side of the tracks. No one knows why the art signed "Roland Norton, Panama, 1955" is worth anything or how it came to hang on the walls of a tattoo shop in Portland, Oregon. Only the deranged former owner can say--and he's not talking. Before the wrecking balls swing through Old Town in the name of "progress," Darby must settle old scores and face new demons to save his reputation, his shop, and his sanity. He has secrets of his own, and a tattoo shop in Old Town was a perfect place to hide, but when cash, lies, crime, and history collide, Darby Holland will need his ramshackle skill set, his wits, and a lot of luck to rise to the top of a human food chain, or be eaten alive.Lucky Supreme is an intuitive thrill ride from start to finish in the spirit of Elmore Leonard and Dennis Lehane. It is the first of a trilogy featuring Darby Holland, Delia, and the other unforgettable nocturnal residents of Old Town. Jeff Johnson is a hugely entertaining new voice in noir.
Lucky the Hard Way
by Deborah CoontsAs Christmases go, this one is proving a bit taxing for Lucky O’Toole, Vice President of Customer Relations for the Babylon, Las Vegas’ most over-the-top Strip resort casino. While facing a murder indictment, Teddie, Lucky’s former lover, has fled to Macau hot on the heels of the man everyone thinks is the real murderer, Irv Gittings. Lucky knows that if Irv finds Teddie first, Lucky will never see him again. Mr. Cho, a powerful figure in the Chinese underworld in Macau, is blackmailing the Big Boss with knowledge of gambling anomalies at the Babylon’s property in Macau. If the Macanese authorities are alerted, the resulting fallout would crumble the financial foundation of Lucky’s entire gambling empire. A trip to Macau is inevitable. With the opening of her own hotel less than a week away, and her engagement still very new, for Lucky the timing couldn’t be worse. As she’s pumping a local source for information about Mr. Cho, the lady is shot in front of her—Lucky narrowly taking the bullet. Lucky has no idea the bullet was really meant for her. With the help of her sidekick, Detective Romeo, Lucky must find Teddie, bring Irv Gittings and Mr. Cho to justice. But can Lucky beat them at their own game without getting caught in the trap? And will she be in time to rescue Teddie?
Lucky You: A Novel
by Erika CarterAn NPR Best Book of 2017"A chillingly adroit debut novel." —Elle“Lucky You is a marvel of a book, partly because Carter does a perfect job balancing humor and tragedy . . . As an author, she’s both unsparing and compassionate, and among her greatest gifts is an ability to find a savage kind of beauty in the unlikeliest of places.” —Michael Schaub, NPREllie, Chloe, and Rachel are friends (sort of), waitresses at the same dive bar in the Arkansas college town they’ve stuck around in too long, each becoming unmoored in her own way. When Rachel falls under the sway of a messianic boyfriend with whom she’s agreed to live off–grid for a year, she convinces Ellie and Chloe to join them in “The Project.” With startling exactitude and wickedly deadpan humor, Lucky You, lays bare the emotional core of its characters with surgical precision.
Lucky You
by Carl HiaasenJoLayne Lucks lives in a town infamous for its suspicious miracles, but she's still elated when her lottery numbers finally pay off big - $28 million, to be exact. And she has great plans for her fortune: to save a rare piece of Florida paradise from the bulldozers. Only one problem: There's another winning Lotto ticket, and the people who've got it just never learned how to share. When the two militia wannabes swipe JoLayne's ticket, she enlists an off-the-rails newspaperman to help her track down the trigger-happy creeps and their bewildered hostage, a Hooters waitress. Getting rich quick is never easy.
Lucky You
by Carl HiaasenJoLayne Lucks lives in a town infamous for its suspicious miracles, but she's still elated when her lottery numbers finally pay off big: $28 million to be exact.
Lucky You
by Saba KapurThings seem to be looking up for celebrity socialite Gia Winters. She is living in a fabulous penthouse in New York City and getting ready for her first semester at NYU with her hot new beau, officer Milo Fells. As the weeks go by, a mysterious and dangerous drug makes its way around campus, and self-proclaimed Detective Gia is on the case.Between juggling classes and a new relationship and dodging the paparazzi, Gia starts to feel not-so-lucky after all.
Luc's Revenge
by Catherine GeorgeWhat has driven wealthy Frenchman Luc Brissac to seduce and then propose marriage? Could his motives be fueled by an event that occurred one shocking September in Portia’s past—an event so traumatic that she’s blotted it out of her memory?Find out why Luc wants revenge, and if Portia will still agree to be his bride, in Catherine George’s latest thrilling story…
Lucy (The Daring Debutantes Series #4)
by M. C. BeatonTwo servants team up to fool London society in this Edwardian romance by the New York Times–bestselling author of the Agatha Raisin mysteries.She is a lady&’s maid who longs to be a lady. How else can Lucy Balfour hope to win the favor of Andrew, Viscount Harvey, the toast of the town, who seems ready to take a bride at last? There is only one way to command his attention. It seems an impossible dream. Even the first step is daunting: Lucy must become the peer of her own mistress, the coldly beautiful Lady Angela, who is also determined to claim Andrew as her own. But there is Hamish MacGregor, the wily old butler, who promises to make Lucy&’s dream come true. With Lucy&’s unaccountable good luck at baccarat, they can win a fortune. With his cunning, they may conquer London society as &“father&” and &“daughter&” and meet the king himself! Having served the rich, he knows how they operate, and Hamish MacGregor is determined to beat them at their own game. And having met Andrew Harvey, Lucy Balfour determines she will never be a servant again…ABOUT THE COLLECTION The seven heroines of the Daring Debutantes Collection set out to conquer London&’s glittering high society and the marriage mart. These headstrong women cannot help but keep London society dangling on a string, but will they find a husband or lose themselves in the game?
Lucy: Speak Out! (Peanuts Kids #12)
by Charles M. SchulzBossy? Crabby? Or a heroine for the ages? Join the unstoppable Lucy van Pelt and her gang in this classic comic-strip collection!In this delightful collection of classic Peanuts comics for young readers, Lucy rallies her friends to speak out for equal rights for women. Between social causes and dropping fly balls in the outfield, Lucy decides to write a biography of Beethoven, much to Schroeder’s dismay.Meanwhile, life in the Peanuts gang is as hilarious as always: Woodstock takes up farming, Peppermint Patty struggles to make the grade, and Charlie Brown’s rotten luck lands him in the hospital. You won’t want to miss this edition of outstanding Peanuts fun.“Schulz’s masterpiece remains . . . relevant and funny for all ages generation after generation.” —Good Comics for Kids, a School Library Journal Blog
Lucy
by Patricia SuarezUna mujer en busca del amor a la que le pasan las cosas másdescabelladas y desopilantes, cosas similares a las que nos podríanpasar a cualquiera de nosotras. Claudia Piñeiro Lucy viaja a Italia a reconquistar a su marido, pero él se niega avolver con ella. De puro despecho, conoce a un hombre atractivo en elaeropuerto de Roma y tiene un affaire de una noche con él. Pasan unavelada mágica en Buenos Aires. A la mañana siguiente, tres golpes secosa su puerta transforman el carruaje en calabaza. Esperanzada, antes dela catástrofe, piensa que es él, que salió a comprar medialunas, perono: ¡es la policía que la detiene por complicidad con un mafioso que seha infiltrado en la Argentina!Al enredo que es la vida de Lucy, se sumarán policías exóticos queescuchan música y comen todo el tiempo, un abogado divorciado al que nole alcanza el dinero, una madre especialista en sobornos que busca lafama y un italiano que es perseguido por la mafia siciliana.Lucy es una novela hilarante, sorprendente, irónica y con un humorinterminable. Patricia Suárez, ganadora del Premio Clarín, nos sumergeen un universo tan desopilante como femenino.
Lucy and Danae: Something Silly This Way Comes (Non Sequitur #5)
by Wiley MillerIt is a rare cartoonist who can introduce new characters into a successful strip without upsetting readers. But since Wiley introduced Lucy, the lovable Pygmy-Clydesdale-with-an-attitude as the companion to Danae, Non Sequitur's cynical anti-heroine, fans have been clamoring for more of the pair. Now readers can enjoy the adventures of Lucy and Danae in the Non Sequitur collection dedicated to their exploits, Lucy and Danae: Something Silly This Way Comes.Lucy's lovable equine goofiness tempers Danae's overdeveloped cynicism as Danae struggles with school, her father, and her sunny little sister, Kate. World-weary beyond her years, Danae sports a skull-in-heart T-shirt and perpetual scowl, while Lucy embodies unbridled optimism with her horsey grin. From their first meeting at summer camp, to Danae's "sneaky yet noble" plot to train Lucy as a guide horse for the blind (they do exist!), to an unplanned expedition to Santa's Workshop (in Maine, not the North Pole), Danae and Lucy turn the cliche of a sentimental girl and her horse upside down and inside out. With Lucy and Danae, Wiley Miller has found a winning combination that readers can't resist.
Lucy and the Loner (The Family McCormick)
by Elizabeth BevarlyMR. APRILTHE MASTER (FOR A MONTH): Boone Cagney. When irresistible Lucy Dolan cried pitifully about her trapped three-year old, how was the hunky fire fighter to know she was talking about her...cat? Now he's spending his days-and his nights-with both of them....THE SLAVE (FOR A MONTH): Lucy Dolan. When Boone rescued Mack from the jaws of death, Lucy decided it was payback time.THE DEBT: Lucy has to service Boone for thirty days only-if he can bear to let her go at the end of them. After all, good help is so hard to find....MAN OF THE MONTH:He'd sworn to go it alone. So what was it about this woman-and her ornery black feline-that had Boone thinking about the family plan?
Lucy and the String
by Vanessa RoederA sweet and silly tale of unexpected friendship between a girl and the bear she finds at the end of a string.When Lucy spots a string, she can't help but give it a yank, and before she knows it, she meets Hank! But this bear isn't quite sure what to make of Lucy, especially because the string is attached to his pants, and they're unraveling fast! Now Lucy must dream up the perfect solution to Hank's missing pants, and hopefully win this dubious bear's heart along the way. Vanessa Roeder's picture book debut is a heart-filled tale of curiosity, innovation, and finding friendship in unexpected places.
Lucy & Andy Neanderthal (Lucy and Andy Neanderthal #1)
by Jeffrey BrownFrom the author of the New York Times bestselling Jedi Academy books comes a hilarious graphic novel series about two young cave kids living 40,000 years ago.&“Lucy & Andy are Stone Age rock stars! I loved this book!&” —Lincoln Peirce, author of the Big Nate series Lucy and Andy are a sister and brother who get into trouble much like any sister and brother. Only difference? Lucy and Andy live in the Stone Age! Discover their laugh-out-loud adventures as the Paleo pair take on a wandering baby sibling, bossy teens, cave paintings, and a mammoth hunt. But what will happen when they encounter a group of humans?Includes extra information about Neanderthal life that's sure to appeal to future paleontologists and science phobes alike! And don't miss Lucy and Andy's next outing, Lucy & Andy Neanderthal: The Stone Cold Age -- coming soon!A New York City Public Library Best 50 Books for Kids 2016!A Chicago Public Library Best of the Best 2016!"Jeffrey Brown returns from a galaxy far, far away to bring us a whole new slew of kid-friendly characters! Just beware of mammoth dung!" —Keith Knight, author of Jake the Fake and The Knight Life Every kid will love to go back in time with LUCY & ANDY!" —Judd Winick, author of Hilo: The Boy Who Saved the World
Lucy & Andy Neanderthal: Bad to the Bones (Lucy and Andy Neanderthal #3)
by Jeffrey BrownFrom the author of the New York Times bestselling Jedi Academy books comes book three in the laugh-out-loud graphic novel series about cave kid siblings Lucy and Andy. Fans of Big Nate, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, and The Terrible Two won't want to miss it!"Lucy & Andy are Stone Age rock stars! I loved this book!" -LINCOLN PEIRCE, author of the BIG NATE series Lucy and Andy have some extra space in the cave now the humans have moved out. But they do miss hanging with Sasha and Tommy. Luckily, their new friends live right around the ice block, close enough to form the first-ever explorer's club! These adventurers are on the hunt. Their first big discovery: dinosaur bones!Jeffrey Brown masterfully blends facts with funny in this graphic novel series. Includes theories about how Neanderthals went extinct; a timeline covering the history of Earth, dinosaurs, Neanderthals, and present day; museums, caves, and paleontologists of note; and Neanderthal Fact vs. Fiction."Lucy & Andy are Stone Age rock stars! I loved this book!" --Lincoln Peirce, author of the Big Nate series"Every kid will love to go back in time with Lucy & Andy!" --Judd Winick, author of Hilo: The Boy Who Saved the World"Jeffrey Brown returns from a galaxy far, far away to bring us a whole new slew of kid-friendly characters!" --Keith Knight, author of Jake the Fake and The Knight Life
Lucy & Andy Neanderthal: The Stone Cold Age (Lucy and Andy Neanderthal #2)
by Jeffrey BrownFrom the author of the New York Times bestselling Jedi Academy books comes book two in the laugh-out-loud graphic novel series about Neanderthal siblings Lucy and Andy. Fans of Big Nate, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, and The Terrible Two won&’t want to miss it! &“Lucy & Andy are Stone Age rock stars! I loved this book!&” —Lincoln Peirce, author of the Big Nate series Neanderthal siblings Lucy and Andy are back to their paleo pranks. This time, they have to put up with more than just each other—the cave is feeling awfully cramped since the humans moved in. They&’re in the Ice Age, and legroom comes at a real premium! Jeffrey Brown skillfully blends humor and history with paleontologist sections: Timeline of Key Discoveries, Ice Age Fact vs. Fiction, Silly Cavemen Myths, and more. "A fast, funny read" –Kirkus Reviews
Lucy Checks In: A Novel
by Dee ErnstDee Ernst's Lucy Checks In is a delightful work of romantic comedy about a disgraced hotel manager who travels to Rennes to rebuild a hotel and her own life in the process.Lucia Giannetti needs a fresh start. Once the hotel manager of a glamorous NYC hotel and intimately involved with the hotel’s owner, Lucy had her entire future planned out. But when the owner disappears, taking millions of dollars with him, Lucy's life as she knows it falls apart.Two years later, forty-nine years old and unemployed, Lucy takes a job in Rennes, France to manage the Hotel Paradis. She pictures fur quilts and extravagant chandeliers, but what she finds is wildly different. Lucy is now in charge of turning the run-down, but charming hotel into a bustling tourist attraction. Between painting rooms, building a website, and getting to know Bing, the irritatingly attractive artist, Lucy finds an unexpected home. But can she succeed in bringing the Hotel Paradis to its former glory? Witty and heartfelt, Lucy Checks In is an inspiring and feel-good novel about reclaiming your life, finding love, and creating a home in places you never thought possible.
Lucy Fell Down the Mountain
by Kevin Cornell*A Today Show Gift Guide Pick!* Lucy is having a terrible day. She’s falling down a mountain. As she passes various characters—a mountain man, a bungeeing duck, and a pile of shuffling bears—she tries to ask for help. But everyone misinterprets her requests. As Lucy gains velocity, the story grows in silliness. Ending eventually in a giant, rolling snowball that lands Lucy safely at a hot-chocolate chalet. No harm done!With a perfect blend of Looney Tunes–style comedy and breezy short text from Kevin Cornell, Lucy Fell Down the Mountain offers a simple solution to bad days: Just roll with it! In the tradition of When Sophie Gets Angry and Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible . . . Very Bad Day, Lucy's ability to face the day head-on—and then move on—will prove itself a new classic.
Lucy on the Wild Side
by Kerry ReaA zookeeper always on the fringe learns to go after her wildest dreams—including a certain television star—in this charming and laugh-out-loud romantic comedy by Kerry Rea, author of The Wedding Ringer.Lucy Rourke has two great loves in her life: the gorilla troop she cares for as a primatologist and the laundry list of reality TV shows she watches to escape the fact that her actual love life doesn&’t exist. And like a reality contestant gunning for the final rose, Lucy&’s laser-focused on one thing: getting promoted to head keeper. So when a wildlife docuseries hosted by hotshot TV personality Kai Bridges chooses her zoo as its summer filming location, she sees an opportunity to showcase her beloved gorillas to the world and land a starring role in her department. When Kai and his film crew arrive, however, it's obvious to Lucy that Kai cares more about sky-high ratings than the gorillas, and he considers her a camera-averse know-it-all whose wardrobe consists entirely of khaki. But she&’s surprised to discover there&’s more to him than his rugged good looks and cheesy catchphrases...and that maybe a promotion isn&’t the only thing she wants. But when secrets from their pasts threaten to complicate everything, Lucy discovers that happiness and success aren&’t the same thing—and that finding joy just might mean getting a little wild.
Lucy Willow
by Sally Gardner'There were three things that marked out Lucy Willow as different. The first was that she lived on a train. The second was that she had a snail called Ernest as a pet. And the third, the most important of all, was that she had green fingers.'It's Lucy's green fingers that save the day when Silverboots McCoy the famous footballer and his girlfriend Blossom B order flowers for their wedding - for Ricky Sparks, who runs the rival garden centre, will stop at nothing to get the contract for himself.Longer and fuller than the Magical Children books, LUCY WILLOW has all Sally Gardner's soaring imagination, enchanting humour and great heart, and is rich in scenes and characters that readers will adore and always remember.Read by Dexter Fletcher(P)2004 Orion Publishing Group.Ltd
The Ludicrous Laws of Old London
by Nigel CawthorneLondon abounds with all manner of ludicrous laws, and not all of these curious statutes have been relegated to the past. Despite the efforts of the Law Commission there are medieval laws that are still in force, and the City of London and its livery companies have their own legal oddities. Laws are made in the capital because parliament is here; so are the Old Bailey, the Law Courts, the House of Lords and, now, the Supreme Court. The privy council, which sometimes has to decide cases, also sits in London, and there were other courts that used to sit in London, from prize courts concerning war booty to ecclesiastical courts. Having maintained its 'ancient rights and freedoms' under Magna Carta, the City felt free to enact its own laws, many of which seem to have had to do with what people could wear. Until quite recently, for example, a man could be arrested for walking down the street wearing a wig, a robe and silk stockings - unless he was a judge. And all human folly has been paraded through the law courts of London, to the extent that it is difficult to know where the serious business of administering justice ends and where farce begins. As law is made in the courtroom as well as in parliament and elsewhere, judges like to keep a firm hand, but sometimes so-called jibbing juries will simply not do what they are told. All sorts of oddities get swept up into the law. Legislators particularly love to pass Acts about sex. If sexual services are being offered in a London massage parlour, for example, a police officer must then search the premises for school children. According to The Children and Young Persons Act of 1933 it is against the law for children and 'yowling persons' between the age of four and sixteen to frequent a brothel. A writ was introduced under both Edward III and Henry IV to ban lawyers from parliament as there were too many of them, the reason being that it was easier for a lawyer to spend his time in London attending parliament that it was for a knight of the shires. But because parliament was already packed with lawyers it was difficult to make any such rule stick. Then an effective way of excluding them was found. They were denied the wages paid to members in those days. Sadly, these days, parliament and the government are packed with lawyers once again. And they are being paid.A law passed in 1540 - and still in force today - makes it illegal for barbers in the City of London to practise surgery; with impeccable impartiality, the Act also forbids surgeons to cut hair. Finally, never forget that under the Vagrancy Act of 1824, you can be convicted of being 'an idle and disorderly person, or a rogue, vagabond, or incorrigible rogue'. The same act also outlaws people 'professing to tell fortunes', including 'palmistry'. Under the Act, it is an offence merely to be suspected.
The Ludicrous Laws of Old London
by Nigel CawthorneLondon abounds with all manner of ludicrous laws, and not all of these curious statutes have been relegated to the past. Despite the efforts of the Law Commission there are medieval laws that are still in force, and the City of London and its livery companies have their own legal oddities. Laws are made in the capital because parliament is here; so are the Old Bailey, the Law Courts, the House of Lords and, now, the Supreme Court. The privy council, which sometimes has to decide cases, also sits in London, and there were other courts that used to sit in London, from prize courts concerning war booty to ecclesiastical courts. Having maintained its 'ancient rights and freedoms' under Magna Carta, the City felt free to enact its own laws, many of which seem to have had to do with what people could wear. Until quite recently, for example, a man could be arrested for walking down the street wearing a wig, a robe and silk stockings - unless he was a judge. And all human folly has been paraded through the law courts of London, to the extent that it is difficult to know where the serious business of administering justice ends and where farce begins. As law is made in the courtroom as well as in parliament and elsewhere, judges like to keep a firm hand, but sometimes so-called jibbing juries will simply not do what they are told. All sorts of oddities get swept up into the law. Legislators particularly love to pass Acts about sex. If sexual services are being offered in a London massage parlour, for example, a police officer must then search the premises for school children. According to The Children and Young Persons Act of 1933 it is against the law for children and 'yowling persons' between the age of four and sixteen to frequent a brothel. A writ was introduced under both Edward III and Henry IV to ban lawyers from parliament as there were too many of them, the reason being that it was easier for a lawyer to spend his time in London attending parliament that it was for a knight of the shires. But because parliament was already packed with lawyers it was difficult to make any such rule stick. Then an effective way of excluding them was found. They were denied the wages paid to members in those days. Sadly, these days, parliament and the government are packed with lawyers once again. And they are being paid.A law passed in 1540 - and still in force today - makes it illegal for barbers in the City of London to practise surgery; with impeccable impartiality, the Act also forbids surgeons to cut hair. Finally, never forget that under the Vagrancy Act of 1824, you can be convicted of being 'an idle and disorderly person, or a rogue, vagabond, or incorrigible rogue'. The same act also outlaws people 'professing to tell fortunes', including 'palmistry'. Under the Act, it is an offence merely to be suspected.