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My Big Mouth: 10 Songs I Wrote That Almost Got Me Killed
by Peter HannanA hilarious illustrated novel from the creator of CatDog!Davis Delaware is not from Delaware. But try telling that to everyone at his new school. When you move in the middle of ninth grade, people are going to think whatever they want about you. If they pay attention at all. Blending in is fine with Davis. He just wants to doodle in his notebook. Make a few friends. Not rock the boat.Easier said than done.Because when he starts a band called The Amazing Dweebs with beautiful Molly and nerdy Edwin, Davis rocks the boat big-time. And all that rocking gets the attention of school bully Gerald "the Butcher" Boggs. Now Davis is suddenly king of the school -- and the Butcher's next target.This can't end well.
My Big Sister Is So Bossy She Says You Can't Read This Book
by Mary HersheySomething of great importance entrusted to fourth-grader Effi Maloney has disappeared and she's sure her big sister, Maxey, had something to do with it. Effi's no pushover, but trying to stand up to Maxey is like trying to stop an earthquake. It would be easier to deal with Maxey if Effi had a buddy. She hasn't had a best friend since Lola Jo moved, and she has so many secrets saved to tell a best friend--including the most amazing idea in the world for a winning science project--she's about to explode.Effi's got to win that science prize, find a best friend, and get back at Maxey--in just one week!From the Hardcover edition.
My Bought Virgin Wife (Conveniently Wed! #13)
by Caitlin CrewsA French heiress and a Spanish businessman run from cool to hot in this intense marriage of convenience romance by a USA Today–bestselling author.She’s mine . . . But will her innocence break all my rules?I’ve never wanted anything like I want heiress Imogen Fitzalan. I married her to secure my empire—but my untouched wife has ignited an undeniable hunger in me. Desire beyond reason wasn’t my plan, yet now I have a new aim: to strip away her obedience, and replace it with a fierce passion to match my own . . . Praise for My Bought Virgin Wife“I enjoyed everything about this story with its fairy-tale like quality and passionate romance. It’s going on my keeper shelf!” —Harlequin Junkie
My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag... and Other Things You Can't Ask Martha
by Jolie KerrThe author of the hit column "Ask a Clean Person" offers a hilarious and practical guide to cleaning up life's little emergencies Life is filled with spills, odors, and those oh-so embarrassing stains you just can't tell your parents about. <P><P>And let's be honest: no one is going to ask Martha Stewart what to do when your boyfriend barfs in your handbag. Thankfully, Jolie Kerr has both staggering cleaning knowledge and a sense of humor. With signature sass and straight talk, Jolie takes on questions ranging from the basic--how do I use a mop? --to the esoteric--what should I do when bottles of homebrewed ginger beer explode in my kitchen? My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag proves that even the most nightmarish cleaning conundrums can be solved with a smile, the right supplies, and a little music.
My Boys Can Swim!
by Ian DavisFinally--A Pregnancy Book That Won't Put Men to SleepMy Boys Can Swim! tells real men everything they really want to know about pregnancy, such as: How much is it going to cost? Why does your wife primp before seeing her doctor when she hasn't put a stitch of make-up on for you in months? And, most important, what's it going to do to your sex life? This rollicking, laugh-out-loud book is for expectant dads in search of bottom-line pregnancy information, without all that boring touchy-feely stuff you find in those books written for women. Inside you'll discover helpful--and hilarious--information and insights on such topics as: The Maternity Wardrobe: "A key part of the maternity wardrobe is maternity underwear--parachute-like undies big enough to fit an NFL defensive lineman." Baby Names: "Don't give your kids mockable names like Thaddeus, which is Greek for 'I'm a dork and should be beaten up.'" The Birth: "No one told me it's normal that babies' heads can be misshapen at birth. I was convinced that my wife gave birth to Veldar, the conehead."From the Trade Paperback edition.
My Boys Can Swim! The Official Guy's Guide to Pregnancy
by Ian DavisFinally--A Pregnancy Book That Won't Put Men to Sleep. My Boys Can Swim! tells real men everything they really want to know about pregnancy, such as: How much is it going to cost? Why does your wife primp before seeing her doctor when she hasn't put a stitch of make-up on for you in months? And, most important, what's it going to do to your sex life? This rollicking, laugh-out-loud book is for expectant dads in search of bottom-line pregnancy information, without all that boring touchy-feely stuff you find in those books written for women. Inside you'll discover helpful--and hilarious--information and insights on such topics as: The Maternity Wardrobe: "A key part of the maternity wardrobe is maternity underwear--parachute-like undies big enough to fit an NFL defensive lineman." Baby Names: "Don't give your kids mockable names like Thaddeus, which is Greek for 'I'm a dork and should be beaten up.'" The Birth: "No one told me it's normal that babies' heads can be misshapen at birth. I was convinced that my wife gave birth to Veldar, the conehead."
My Brother Is a Rock
by Stacy Curtis Danny ResnerIf you think your family is weird, try having a rock for a brother! Richard might be a rock, but he’s a young boy’s best friend. They do all sorts of things together, like playing and going on adventures! What adventures would you go on if your brother was a rock?
My Brother Is a Superhero
by David SolomonsBehind every great superhero is a very angry younger brother.Luke Parker was just your average comic book fan until his boring, teacher's pet, helps-old-ladies-across-the-street brother Zack got turned into a superhero. Luke can't believe the unfairness of it all--he's the one with the encyclopedic knowledge of everything from Ant-Man to Wolverine! At least he can help Zack--aka Star Guy--with all the important parts of becoming a superhero, like using his newfound powers and deciding whether or not to wear a cape.But when Star Guy gets into super-size trouble, it's up to Luke--and his intrepid neighbor, Lara--to rescue his big brother and, with a little luck, help him save the world.
My Brother Louis Measures Worms: And Other Louis Stories (A\charlotte Zolotow Bk.)
by Barbara RobinsonHow is it that Louis has been driving his mother's car around town if he's only eight years old? Where did the cat go to have her kittens?Who won the free wedding? Whether it's costume parades, mysterious paint allergies, or bicycle disasters, there's never a dull moment when the Lawson family is around!
My Brother's Famous Bottom Makes a Splash! (My Brother's Famous Bottom #2)
by Jeremy StrongA new hilarious adventure in the My Brother's Famous Bottom series by King of Comedy, Jeremy Strong.Nicholas and his family are off on holiday to Turkey! But with Cheese and Tomato causing chaos with stray tortoises, Dad having to be rescued by the lifeguard, and Mum setting off the hotel sprinkler system with her belly-dancing routine, rest and relaxation are not on the cards!
My Brother's Famous Bottom Takes Off! (My Brother's Famous Bottom #1)
by Jeremy Strong5 . . . 4 . . . 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . . Lift Off!My brother's famous bottom is going into space! Well, a video of it, anyway. And the best news is that the whole family gets to go to America to see the launch!We're going to climb the Empire State Building, ride in a helicopter, and eat gherkins for breakfast. Who knows, maybe we'll even get to meet the President . . .
My Bunkmate Hates Puppies (Camp Lil Vills)
by Sam HayDisney Villains are known for causing trouble. But what about before they were all grown up? When young Cruella gets to this most magical summer camp, things get hairy!Bloom loves welcoming new campers to the enchanting Camp Lil' Vills. But there's something off about her fancy new bunkmate, Cruella, who seems to hate nature but is very interested in the rare fuzzy nerbit in their creature-care class. Almost too interested. Could this leopard (or Dalmatian) have changed its spots? Or does Cruella have something sinister up her perfect sleeve?Catch all the Camp Lil' Vills chapter books!My Bunkmate Hates PuppiesMy Teammate is a Hot HeadThere's a Sea Witch in my Swim Class
My Cat is a Dick
by Malcolm KatzNo matter how much of a cat lover you are, you have to admit those loving feelings can feel pretty one-way. Whether it's in the form of treasure hunts around the house with small dead animals as the 'treasure', biffing your face for attention in the middle of the night, or the endless indecision about being inside or outside, cats - a lot of the time - are dicks.Thankfully, we can laugh about it, because thankfully (as this book shows) we are far from alone. Featuring over 100 photos of cats in all sorts of interesting predicaments, MY CAT IS A DICK shows that even when they're playing up, cats have an excellent sense of humour. It just often comes at human expense.
My Chimp Friday
by Hester MundisRachel can't imagine why Bucky Greene, a scientist friend of her father's who's developing genetically engineered bananas, would show up at their New York City apartment in the middle of the night to leave a baby chimpanzee with them for a week -- or why they absolutely, positively can't tell anyone about it. What could possibly be "top secret" about an adorable chimp like Friday? Rachel hasn't a clue, but when Friday turns out to be really, inexplicably intelligent (Rubik's Cube's a snap) -- and Bucky Greene turns up really, inexplicably dead (he slipped on his own banana peel) -- she suspects serious monkey business afoot. And when chimp-nappers step into the picture, getting to the bottom of Friday's "top secret" before it's too late becomes a delightfully madcap mystery -- with Rachel in a riotous, nonstop race for survival of the fittest. Written by four-time Emmy-nominated writer and acclaimed humorist Hester Mundis, who raised a chimp of her own in her Manhattan apartment, this is a wonderfully funny -- and heartfelt -- novel about endangered species, corporate espionage, and going bananas in more ways than one.
My Chimp Friday: The Nana Banana Chronicles
by Hester MundisRachel can't imagine why Bucky Greene, a scientist friend of her father's who's developing genetically engineered bananas, would show up at their New York City apartment in the middle of the night to leave a baby chimpanzee with them for a week -- or why they absolutely, positively can't tell anyone about it. What could possibly be "top secret" about an adorable chimp like Friday? Rachel hasn't a clue, but when Friday turns out to be really, inexplicably intelligent (Rubik's Cube's a snap) -- and Bucky Greene turns up really, inexplicably dead (he slipped on his own banana peel) -- she suspects serious monkey business afoot. And when chimp-nappers step into the picture, getting to the bottom of Friday's "top secret" before it's too late becomes a delightfully madcap mystery -- with Rachel in a riotous, nonstop race for survival of the fittest. Written by four-time Emmy-nominated writer and acclaimed humorist Hester Mundis, who raised a chimp of her own in her Manhattan apartment, this is a wonderfully funny -- and heartfelt -- novel about endangered species, corporate espionage, and going bananas in more ways than one.
My Cold Went On Vacation
by Molly RauschColds travel from person to person, so one little boy imagines all the places his cold might visit after it leaves him. This little cold germ rides the school bus, climbs mountains, sails across the ocean, and visits every continent before it reaches its final destination- right across the hall in his sister's room. Nora Krug's bright, bold artwork makes for a very colorful travelogue, and Molly Rausch's funny story of a global expedition also celebrates imaginative thinking.
My Conference Can Beat Your Conference: Why the SEC Still Rules College Football
by Gene Wojciechowski Paul FinebaumAn all-access pass into the powerhouse teams and passionate fanbases of the legendary Southeastern Conference, from one of the most influential men in college football: ESPN’s Paul Finebaum.Proud owner of 14 prestigious college football programs, producing seven consecutive national championships, twelve NFL first round draft choices, and a budget that crushes the GDP of Samoa, the Southeastern Conference collects the most coveted ratings, rankings, and revenue of any conference in college football. With its pantheon of illustrious alumni like Bear Bryant, Herschel Walker, Peyton Manning, and Nick Saban, the SEC is the altar at which millions of Americans worship every Saturday, from Texas to Kentucky to Florida.If the SEC is a religion, its deity is radio talk-show host Paul Finebaum. In My Conference Can Beat Your Conference, Finebaum, chronicles the rise of the SEC and his own unlikely path to college football fame. Finebaum offers his blunt wisdom on everything from Joe Paterno and the Penn State scandal to the relevancy of Alabama quarterback AJ McCarron’s girlfriend, and chronicles the best of his beloved callers, and the worst of his haters.
My Cousin Maria Schneider
by Vanessa Schneider"Lovingly written" Deborah Harry"An exquisite portrait of a tragic heroine" Violaine HuismanA spare, heartbreaking memoir and tribute to Maria Schneider, the 1970s movie starlet who catapulted to fame in the controversial film Last Tango in Paris-only to live the rest of her life plagued by scandal-as told from the perspective of her adoring younger cousin.The late French actress Maria Schneider is perhaps best known for playing Jeanne in the provocative film Last Tango in Paris, directed by Bernardo Bertolucci and released to international shock and acclaim in 1972. It was Maria's first major role, alongside film legend Marlon Brando, when she was barely eighteen years old. The experience would haunt her for the rest of her life, traumatizing her and sparking a tabloid firestorm that only ceased when she began to retreat from the public eye nearly two decades later.To Maria's much younger cousin, Vanessa Schneider, Maria was a towering figure of another kind-a beautiful and fearsome fixture in Vanessa's childhood, a rising star turned pariah whose career and struggles with addiction won the family shame and pride in equal measure. Here, Vanessa recounts the challenges of their overlapping youths and fraught adulthood and reveals both the tragedy and inevitability of Maria's path in a family plagued by mental illness and in a society rife with misogyny.Unsentimental and suffused with deep love, My Cousin Maria Schneider is the story of a talented artist and the cousin who admired her, and of exploitation and how its lingering effects can reverberate through a lifetime.
My Cup Runneth Over
by Cherry WhytockI'm, um, LARGE. Yes, "large" just about covers it, although to be quite honest, not many things do -- cover it, I mean. Angelica Cookson Potts, better known as Angel, loves food, both cooking it and eating it, and plans to be a famous chef someday. But she thinks she's just too big -- her mother is a skinny ex-model, her best friends are all smaller than she is, and she feels like a huge, wobbly whale in comparison. In addition to food, Angel also loves Jamie Oliver (the Naked Chef) and Adam (who doesn't know she's alive). In order to get Adam's attention, she tries making major Life Changes, including a cabbage-only diet that has...well, explosive results. Through it all her best friends, Minnie, Portia, and Mercedes, are there with her, and when the school fashion show comes around, Angel discovers that her size might not be such a bad thing after all. Everyone knows an Angel, and readers will laugh out loud at her take on life. Angel's own recipes are included so that other "foodies" can cook along with her.
My Cup Runneth Over: The Life of Angelica Cookson Potts
by Cherry WhytockI'm, um, LARGE.Yes, "large" just about covers it,although to be quite honest,not many things do -- cover it,I mean.Angelica Cookson Potts, better known as Angel, loves food, both cooking it and eating it, and plans to be a famous chef someday. But she thinks she's just too big -- her mother is a skinny ex-model, her best friends are all smaller than she is, and she feels like a huge, wobbly whale in comparison. In addition to food, Angel also loves Jamie Oliver (the Naked Chef) and Adam (who doesn't know she's alive). In order to get Adam's attention, she tries making major Life Changes, including a cabbage-only diet that has...well, explosive results. Through it all her best friends, Minnie, Portia, and Mercedes, are there with her, and when the school fashion show comes around, Angel discovers that her size might not be such a bad thing after all.Everyone knows an Angel, and readers will laugh out loud at her take on life. Angel's own recipes are included so that other "foodies" can cook along with her.
My Dad Is a Bro
by The Editors of BroBible.comDAD IS THE MOST IMPORTANT MAN IN A BRO'S LIFE. He teaches you how to swing a baseball bat, grill a steak, and master a stick shift. Dad helps you laugh off a breakup, guides you on big decisions, and doesn't tell your Mom when he catches you hooking up with a girl--yet still warns you to "wrap it up" because he's "not ready to be a grandfather." The apple doesn't fall far from the tree . . . when it comes to being a Bro. Loaded with hundreds of hilarious, never-before-seen photos and based on the wildly popular photo blog from the editors of BroBible.com, the ultimate destination for Bros, MY DAD IS A BRO captures the epic Bro hijinks and conquests of Dads everywhere. Whether he's puffing on a cigar, executing a keg stand, fishing for a trophy, posing with cheerleaders, or running the table in beer pong--celebrate the old man at his Bro-est. Nothing says father-son bonding like the time-honored tradition of shot-gunning a fresh brew.
My Dad Is a Bro
by The Editors of BroBible.comDAD IS THE MOST IMPORTANT MAN IN A BRO'S LIFE. He teaches you how to swing a baseball bat, grill a steak, and master a stick shift. Dad helps you laugh off a breakup, guides you on big decisions, and doesn't tell your Mom when he catches you hooking up with a girl--yet still warns you to "wrap it up" because he's "not ready to be a grandfather." The apple doesn't fall far from the tree . . . when it comes to being a Bro. Loaded with hundreds of hilarious, never-before-seen photos and based on the wildly popular photo blog from the editors of BroBible.com, the ultimate destination for Bros, MY DAD IS A BRO captures the epic Bro hijinks and conquests of Dads everywhere. Whether he's puffing on a cigar, executing a keg stand, fishing for a trophy, posing with cheerleaders, or running the table in beer pong--celebrate the old man at his Bro-est. Nothing says father-son bonding like the time-honored tradition of shot-gunning a fresh brew.
My Dad Is a Unicorn! (My Life is Weird)
by Bill CanterburyYou think your family is weird? What if your dad was a unicorn?! Fans of the magical creatures in the "How to Catch a" series will love this new super-silly picture book that celebrates how ALL families are weird.Unicorn Dad gets his necktie stuck on his horn, fixes math homework with glitter, and is obsessed with his mane shampoo. But his day job is the coolest: battling trolls and goblins in magical lands. And his son gets to come along to help!Young readers will laugh out loud following this unusual father-son team as they fly off on adventures in a funny and warm new picture book, the start of an exciting series.With page after page of jokes, puns, and visual gags, this story's humor is perfect for families to read together. It's a book kids will want to go back to over and over. And it makes a perfect gift! And check out more weird families in: My Mom Is a Mermaid!
My Dad and Me (Mr. Men and Little Miss)
by Roger HargreavesTell your dad how much you love him in this sweet and fun book with the characters from Mr. Men Little Miss, perfect for Father's Day! From reading you books in silly voices to carrying you when you're tired, dads are Funny, Happy, Strong, and Cool--lots of the Mr. Men rolled into one! This book featuring the Mr. Men characters will help you show your dad just how special he is to you.The perfect book for Father's Day, a new dad, a father's birthday--or for anytime you want to say I love you. Readers can also add their own words about their dads at the end of the book to make it a special, personalized gift.