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Aren't You Forgetting Someone?: Essays from My Mid-Life Revenge
by Kari LizerFrom award-winning TV comedy writer Kari Lizer (The New Adventures of Old Christine) comes a collection of hilarious essays about the challenges of being a woman of a certain age and all that comes with it: empty nest, post #MeToo dating, aging parents, menopausal rage, unrealistic expectations, and eternal optimism. What does it feel like to have your kids leave the house at the same time your parents might need to move in? With self-deprecating humor, sharp wit, and Ephron-esque aplomb, Kari Lizer gives an honest account of finding herself in the middle of growing up, growing old, and still figuring it all out. She finds the wry, bittersweet humor in (almost) all situations--whether it's becoming radioactive during a thyroid cancer treatment, getting fired from her volunteer work, or struggling to find her identity outside of motherhood. Aren't You Forgetting Someone? speaks to those of us who lament the invisibility of the middle-aged woman, but also revel in the unexpected delights of newfound freedom to do whatever the hell we want while no one is looking.
Arfy Has a Ball (Step into Reading)
by Troy CummingsJoin lovable rescue dog Arfy—star of the New York Times bestselling picture book Can I Be Your Dog?—in his second Step 1 Comic Reader, perfect for readers ages 4-6. Comic Readers are told almost entirely in action-packed dialogue! Simple, graphic, paneled layouts introduce emergent readers to the joy of comics.Arfy loves his forever home! He has his sweet person and so many toys! Arfy wants to play but what should he play with? A ball! That's it! But there are so many kinds of balls! Some balls are too big, some too heavy, and others are too far away. Will Arfy be able to find the perfect ball for him? Tag along with Arfy on his newest adventure--illustrated with panels and speech balloons for a fun intro to comics!Step 1 Readers feature big type and easy words. Rhymes and rhythmic text paired with picture clues help children decode the story.
Arguing with Idiots
by Kevin Balfe Glenn BeckFUNNY. FRIGHTENING. TRUE. The #1 New York Times bestseller that gives you the right answers when idiots leave you speechless! It happens to all of us: You're minding your own business, when some idiot* informs you that guns are evil, the Prius will save the planet, or the rich have to finally start paying their fair share of taxes. Just go away! you think to yourself--but they only get more obnoxious. Your heart rate quickens. You start to sweat. But never fear, for Glenn Beck has stumbled upon the secret formula to winning arguments against people with big mouths and small minds: knowing the facts. And this book is full of them. The next time your Idiot Friends tell you how gun control prevents gun violence, you'll tell them all about England's handgun ban (see page 53). When they insist that we should copy the UK's health-care system, you'll recount the horrifying facts you read on page 244. And the next time you hear how produce prices will skyrocket without illegal workers, you'll have the perfect rebuttal (from page 139). Armed with the ultimate weapon--the truth--you can now tolerate (and who knows, maybe even enjoy?) your encounters with idiots everywhere! *Idiots can't be identified through voting records; look instead for people who hide behind stereotypes, embrace partisanship, and believe that bumper sticker slogans are a substitute for common sense.
The Argyle Sweater: A Cartoon Collection (Argyle Sweater Ser. #1)
by Scott HilburnThe Argyle Sweater is a comic for grown-ups but it's inspired by a childlike imagination and charm. Follow bears, bees, chickens, wolves, dogs, cats, zebras, cops, game shows, phones, cavemen, and even nursery rhyme icons and an evil scientist, into the mischief and perfect-fitting dialogue of The Argyle Sweater world.Hilburn jokes he thought about naming the strip For Better or For Worse but noted "that that one was already taken."
Ari Arranges Everything
by Katie VernonEmpower young children to let go of control and to embrace a little chaos in this delightful and humorous picture book. <P><P> Ari arranges absolutely everything. <P><P> For as long as anyone can remember, Ari has loved arranging things. From blocks to flowers to produce to unicorn toys, each arrangement feels perfect—though maybe not for everyone. But when Ari sets out to create the ultimate arrangement at the zoo, things don’t go quite as planned. Will Ari finally figure out the secret to arranging (or perhaps not arranging) everything in this humorous and delightful story? <P><P><i>Advisory: Bookshare has learned that this book offers only partial accessibility. We have kept it in the collection because it is useful for some of our members. Benetech is actively working on projects to improve accessibility issues such as these.</i>
Aristophanes the Democrat: The Politics of Satirical Comedy During the Peloponnesian War
by Keith SidwellThis book provides a new interpretation of the nature of Old Comedy and its place at the heart of Athenian democratic politics. Professor Sidwell argues that Aristophanes and his rivals belonged to opposing political groups, each with their own political agenda. Through disguised caricature and parody of their rivals' work, the poets expressed and fuelled the political conflict between their factions. Professor Sidwell rereads the principal texts of Aristophanes and the fragmented remains of the work of his rivals in the light of these arguments for the political foundations of the genre.
Aristotle and an Aardvark Go to Washington: Understanding Political Doublespeak Through Philosophy and Jokes
by Thomas Cathcart Daniel KleinThomas Cathcart and Daniel Klein, authors of the national bestseller Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar, aren't falling for any election year claptrap--and they don't want their readers to either! In Aristotle and an Aardvark Go to Washington, our two favorite philosopher-comedians return just in time to save us from the double-speak, flim-flam, and alternate reality of politics in America. Deploying jokes and cartoon as well as the occasional insight from Aristotle and his peers, Cathcart and Klein explain what politicos are up to when they state: "The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence." (Donald Rumsfeld), "It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is. " (Bill Clinton), or even, "We hold these truths to be self-evident..." (Thomas Jefferson, et al). Drawing from the pronouncements of everyone from Caesar to Condoleeza Rice, Genghis Kahn to Hillary Clinton, and Adolf Hitler to Al Sharpton. Cathcart and Klein help us learn to identify tricks such as "The Texas Sharpshooter Fallacy" (non causa pro causa) and the "The Fallacy Fallacy" (argumentum and logicam). Aristotle and an Aardvark is for anyone who ever felt like the politicos and pundits were speaking Greek. At least Cathcart and Klein provide the Latin name for it (raudatio publica)!
Arizona Humoresque: A Century of Arizona Humor
by C. L. SonnichsenArizona Humoresque, a collection of always humorous and often hilarious writing edited by noted Western folklorist C. L. Sonnichsen, adds a new chapter to the social history of the state. Covering the past century, excerpts range from Alfred Henry Lewis&’s Wolfville series, which poked fun at the unhurried citizens of frontier Tombstone, to Barbara Kingsolver&’s side-splitting account of trying to get a job and a place to stay in modern-day Tucson. In the years between, a variety of humorists sniffed out the ridiculous in all corners of the state and in all levels of its society. Byrd Baylor does it for the Papago Indians living in Tucson. Mo Udall does it for the politicians. Country people, city people, and the state&’s great liars have their innings, too. Arizona Humoresque is good for browsing, but it has historical and literary value for those who want to look closer. It introduces some of Arizona&’s best writers to a generation that might otherwise forget them.
Arlo & Pips #2: Join the Crow Crowd! (Arlo & Pips #2)
by Elise GravelEveryone's crowing about Arlo & Pips, with Kirkus praising book 1 as "a perfect match for newly independent readers"! Arlo is lonely and is looking for more friends in the city. This second book in the quirky graphic chapter book series from acclaimed author Elise Gravel is perfect for fans of Narwhal and Jelly and Castronauts.Crows are very social birds, and even with Pips as company, Arlo misses hanging out with other crows. One day, he and his pal Pips meet a very special crow who knows how to do all kinds of cool stuff. Despite being super-smart himself, Arlo realizes that he might still have things to learn!Has Arlo finally met his match? Elise Gravel presents a sequel full of her signature witty humor and more fascinating crow facts. An Eisner nominee for Best Publication for Early ReadersMore praise for Arlo & Pips #1: King of the Crows: A New York Public Library Best Book * A Chicago Public Library Best of the Best * A Junior Library Guild Selection * "An unexpected friendship story! In three short graphic chapters marked by [Gravel’s] signature sly humor, facts about crows are sprinkled throughout, making the reader believe that maybe crows are truly as amazing as Arlo says.” —The Horn Book (starred review)
Arlo & Pips #3: New Kids in the Flock (Arlo & Pips #3)
by Elise GravelIn the grand finale of Elise Gravel's graphic chapter book series that Kirkus called "a charming treasure," Arlo the crow is going to be a dad! The third book in this quirky series from acclaimed author Elise Gravel is perfect for fans of Narwhal and Jelly and Castronauts.Parenting is tough—even for a genius like Arlo—but luckily he isn’t alone: his partner Marla and Uncle Pips are there to help! From building a new nest and taking care of Marla while she incubates the eggs to teaching the chicks everything they need to know, Arlo has his wings full. Join Arlo, Pips, Marla, and the new chicks as they explore this next big chapter in their lives.Snappy dialogue paired with a limited color scheme that's perfect for newly independent readers, this final story has tons of amazing "kid-pleasing" bird facts.More praise for Arlo & Pips #1: King of the Crows: A New York Public Library Best Book * A Chicago Public Library Best of the Best * A Junior Library Guild Selection * "An unexpected friendship story! In three short graphic chapters marked by [Gravel’s] signature sly humor, facts about crows are sprinkled throughout, making the reader believe that maybe crows are truly as amazing as Arlo says.” —The Horn Book (starred review)
Arlo & Pips: King of the Birds (Arlo & Pips #1)
by Elise GravelPerfect for fans of Narwhal and Jelly, Arlo & Pips: King of the Birds is the first in a new early graphic chapter book series about the friendship between Arlo, an arrogant crow, and a sarcastic little bird named Pips. Like most crows, Arlo has a big brain. But Arlo has something else: a little pal who’s not afraid to tell him when he’s being insufferable!In the first of three episodes, a battle of the brains and bird-to-bird banter soon turns into an unexpected friendship. Arlo and Pips' adventures include a visit the big city and the beach on their hunt for shiny things and French fries. Cool crow facts are included throughout the book.Everyone's crowing about Arlo & Pips, with Kirkus praising it as "a perfect match for newly independent readers"!More praise for Arlo & Pips #1: King of the Crows: A New York Public Library Best Book * A Chicago Public Library Best of the Best * A Junior Library Guild Selection * "An unexpected friendship story! In three short graphic chapters marked by [Gravel’s] signature sly humor, facts about crows are sprinkled throughout, making the reader believe that maybe crows are truly as amazing as Arlo says.” —The Horn Book (starred review)
Arm-ball to Zooter: A Sideways Look at the Language of Cricket
by Lawrence BoothWhat's the difference between short leg and deep midwicket? When would you be thinking about bowling a yorker? What's so great about the sound of leather on willow? Cricket’s vocabulary is a mixture of jargon and cliché, poetry and prose, misty-eyed romanticism and old-gits’ cynicism. Arm-ball to Zooter is a witty guide to the peculiarities of the game, its history and major figures; cricket-lovers might find their own pet hates confirmed; cricket newcomers might be amazed at what cricket-lovers have been up to all these years.
Arm Candy (Real Love #2)
by Jessica LemmonLast call! At the end of the night, a clean-cut hunk and a rebellious bartender act on their unlikely chemistry in this frisky standalone novel from the author of Eye Candy. Davis: I’ve had my eye on Grace Buchanan for a while now. Unlike the bubbly blondes I usually date, the feisty, flame-haired bartender both intrigues and bewilders me. Something about Grace—the tattoos? the nose ring?—makes every part of me sit up and beg. There’s only one problem: She hates me. Trading insults and one-liners has become our M.O. But when Grace bets me that I can’t get a date with a non-blonde if my life depends on it, I’m determined to prove her wrong by landing the ultimate non-blonde: her. Grace: I’m used to regulars hitting on me, and I’ve turned them all down, except for one: Davis Price. I like giving him a hard time, and he’s kind of cute in his suit and tie—if you’re into that kind of thing. Anyway, I don’t care how many blondes he takes home . . . until one of them sidles up to him in my bar. Nuh-uh. But after my little bet with Davis backfires, our first date lands us in the sack. So does the second. And the third. Neither of us wants more than the best sex of our lives. The trouble is, it’s not a question of what I want. It’s what I need. And what I need is Davis. Look for Jessica Lemmon’s standalone romances with heartfelt HEAs: FIGHTING FOR DEVLIN | FORGOTTEN PROMISES | SHUT UP AND KISS ME | EYE CANDY | ARM CANDYAdvance praise for Arm Candy“Lemmon puts a twist on the friends to lovers theme . . . the perfect balance of humor and emotion with characters that are easy to fall for.”—Smexy Books “I highly recommend this book. . . . Arm Candy is charming and sweet . . . I love the fact that it can be read as a standalone.”—The Clever Bookworm (five stars)“Bartending is the perfect background for a tangled romance that leaves you aching and filled, and Arm Candy 100% delivers.”—Sarah Robinson, bestselling author of the Kavanagh Legends series“One of the sexiest romantic comedies I’ve read in a long time—Arm Candy is a perfect laugh-out-loud, seriously steamy opposites attract story, with just the right amount of sweetness.”—New York Times bestselling author Lauren Layne This standalone novel includes an excerpt from another Loveswept title.
The Armadillo Who Came for Dinner
by Steve SmallmanOne day, Dizzy the armadillo lands in Little Lamb's picnic with a THUMP! But Dizzy is tough, and he definitely doesn't need a comforting hug. Or does he?In this sixth installment of the adorable series featuring best friends Little Lamb and Wolf, an armadillo named Dizzy crashes into their picnic. Little Lamb is determined to give Dizzy a hug, but Dizzy is a tough armadillo--he doesn't need a hug! Then when Little Lamb finds herself in a tricky situation, it's Dizzy to the rescue. Will he accept Little Lamb's hug this time? This is a heartwarming story about learning to embrace your softer side and accept the comfort of friends.
Armadillos And Old Lace (Kinky Friedman #7)
by Kinky FriedmanHoping to escape New York City violence by taking a break in Texas, Jewish country-western singer and amateur detective Kinky Friedman is asked by a local justice of the peace to solve the murders of four senior citizens.
The Armies of Herobrine: An Unofficial Overworld Adventure, Book Five (Unofficial Overworld Adventure)
by Danica DavidsonThe portal between Minecraft and the real world may have been restored, but Herobrine is still at large-and Stevie knows that a confrontation is inevitable. While Stevie, Alex, and their friends try to awaken humanity to the reality of Herobrine’s threats, the Overworld’s armies prepare for an epic battle.When Herobrine creates his own portal to the human world and releases vicious zombies at the middle school Halloween party, the students are convinced the attack is just an elaborate prank-until the night takes a violent turn. With war breaking out around them, it’s up to Stevie and his friends to defeat Herobrine and restore peace.The epic, world-spanning battle that follows will test friendships, reveal the group’s true allies and their most dangerous foes, and decide the fate not just of the Overworld, but of all humanity.
Armstrong and Charlie
by Steven B. FrankDuring the pilot year of a Los Angeles school system integration program, Armstrong and Charlie learn to cope with everything from first crushes and playground politics to the loss of loved ones and racial prejudice in the 1970s.Charlie isn’t looking forward to sixth grade. If he starts sixth grade, chances are he’ll finish it, and he’ll be older than his older brother ever was.Armstrong isn’t looking forward to sixth grade either. He’ll have to wake up at five-thirty to ride a bus to an all-white school in the Hollywood Hills. When they are assigned seats next to each other, what starts as a rivalry becomes a close friendship.Set in Los Angeles in the 1970s, Armstrong and Charlie is the funny and heartwarming tale of two boys. Different, yet the same.
The Armstrong And Miller Book
by Alexander Armstrong Ben MillerArmstrong and Miller are Britain's favourite comedy duo. In their first book, they bring their brilliant characters to the page in a brand-new way. In the classic tradition of books by such greats as Monty Python and Morecambe & Wise, THE ARMSTRONG AND MILLLER BOOK is a highly illustrated book, packed with inventive and completely original material.
The Armstrongs' A-Z Guide to Life
by Ann Armstrong John ArmstrongHave you ever wondered how typewriters can rival commercial radio? Why, according to John, it's best to shave only once a week, and with old fashioned soap and water? And what the various repercussions of spring and its extra hour of daylight bring?The BBC created a fantastically cult television series when they filmed the daily operations of John and Ann's double glazing firm U-Fit, the third largest in Coventry. It was here we were first introduced to John's misanthropic musings and no-nonsense attitude to management and his wife Ann's doting loyalty. Now their individual and highly entertaining personalities have been brought to the page, as they ruminate on various aspects of life from asbos to Buddhism, and Chekov to Maltesers.
Arnica, the Duck Princess
by Ervin LazarA hilarious Hungarian classic children's story about true love, friendship and what happens when a witch turns your fiancée into a duck.Princess Arnica is so sweet and gentle that when she smiles even wolves and bears forget their fierceness. Everyone loves her, but she loves only Poor Johnny. Luckily, he loves her too, and even more luckily she has a very sensible king for a father, who is happy for her to marry whomever her heart desires. So, no problems then?Well, maybe just one - The Witch with a Hundred Faces has cast a spell on Arnica and Johnny which means that one of them, at any one time, must always be a duck, and the other human! Who can help them? Only the Seven-headed Fairy. Will they be able to find her? You'll just have to read the book and find out!
Arnie the Doughnut (The Adventures of Arnie the Doughnut #1)
by Laurie Keller<p>At first glance, Arnie looks like an average doughnut―round, cakey, with a hole in the middle, iced and sprinkled. He was made by one of the best bakeries in town, and admittedly his sprinkles are candy-colored. Still, a doughnut is just a doughnut, right? <p>WRONG! Not if Arnie has anything to say about it. And, for a doughnut, he sure seems to have an awful lot to say. Can Arnie change the fate of all doughnuts―or at least have a hand in his own future? Well, you'll just have to read this funny story and find out for yourself.</p>
Around Harvard Square
by C. J. FarleyRace, class, and hormones combine and combust when a Harvard freshman and his two friends attempt to join the staff of the Harpoon, the school's iconic humor magazine.Around Harvard Square is the winner of the NAACP Image Award for Outstanding Literary Work (Youth/Teens)!Around Harvard Square has been named a 2020 Honor Book by the Paterson Prize for Books for Young People"A smart, satirical novel about surviving the racial and cultural tensions ratcheted up in the elite Harvard hothouse. Farley has created a marvelously engaging and diverse set of characters, at the center of which is a nerdy Jamaican American with a philosophical bent and his cohort of oddballs struggling to win a spot on Harvard's brainy humor magazine, which provides a springboard for Farley to dive into the ethics of comedy, among other subjects."--National Book Review, included in Monday's 5 Hot Books"For anyone who likes satire, this quick-witted tale...catches a bundle of truths about a very particular and powerful corner of our world."--New West Indian Guide"Around Harvard Square [is] C.J. Farley's fun novel about an exceptional Jamaican student-athlete facing class and race issues to get a spot on an elite Harvard University humor magazine."--New York Daily News, included in CaribBeat column"C.J. Farley's Around Harvard Square is a witty and artful narrative of a society on the crossroads of change...A must read."--The Gleaner (Jamaica)Included in the American Booksellers Association's ABC Best Books for Young Adult Readers 2019!Included in Publishers Weekly's Spring 2019 Children's AnnouncementsIncluded in Rich in Color's Six Books to Kickstart April"In his new novel, Around Harvard Square, Farley writes about a scandal strikingly similar to how Singer helped parents and coaches allegedly exploit athletic programs of schools like Yale, Georgetown, and USC."--Fox 5 (New York)"This former Lampoon editor, journalist, and now satirical novelist, has lots of insight into the discrepancies around race and gender that remain present in the comedy industry."--CityLine (WCVB-TV Boston)"Around Harvard Square brings social commentary to college life, approaching the issues in a humorous attitude...Farley makes the injustices more tangible to a younger audience who may be future students at such institutions, and he shows how little progression has been made in the educational system regarding institutional racism."--Prism Review Tosh Livingston, superstar student-athlete from small-town USA, thinks he's made it big as a rising freshman at Harvard University. Not so fast! Once on campus, he's ensnared in a frenzied competition to win a spot on Harvard's legendary humor magazine, the Harpoon. Tosh soon finds that joining the Harpoon is a weird and surprisingly dangerous pursuit. He faces off against a secret society of super-rich kids, gets schooled by a philosophy professor who loves flunking everyone, and teams up with a genius student-cartoonist with an agenda of her own. Along the way, Tosh and his band of misfit freshman friends unearth long-buried mysteries about the Ivy League that will rock the Ivory Tower and change their lives forever...if they can survive the semester.With its whip-smart humor and fast-paced narrative, Around Harvard Square will appeal to readers of all ages interested in exploring the complicated roles that race and class play in higher education.
Around the World
by John CoyA fantastic journey around the world is about to begin. Starting in downtown New York City and traveling to Australia, China, Turkey, Nigeria, France, Brazil, Canada, Puerto Rico, and back to New York again, kids play their hearts out in a grueling, winner-take-all, pick-up basketball game. Full court passes in a gym in Shanghai are effortlessly picked off in Istanbul with a turn of the page. Thwack! Readers will challenge themselves to keep pace with these young players while taking in the sights of the Eiffel tower and other landmarks that frame the action in each city.
Around the World in 50 Years: My Adventure to Every Country on Earth
by Albert PodellA story of visiting—and surviving—every nation on Earth: “Part travel adventure tale and part madcap farcical comedy . . . Hunter Thompson meets Anthony Bourdain.” —Chicago TribuneThis is the inspiring story of an ordinary guy who achieved two great goals that others had told him were impossible. First, he set a record for the longest automobile journey ever made around the world, during the course of which he blasted his way out of minefields, survived a breakdown atop the Peak of Death, came within seconds of being lynched in Pakistan, and lost three of the five men who started with him, two to disease, one to the Vietcong.After that—although it took him forty-seven more years—Albert Podell set another record by going to every country on Earth. He achieved this by surviving riots, revolutions, civil wars, trigger-happy child soldiers, voodoo priests, robbers, pickpockets, corrupt cops, and Cape buffalo. He went around, under, or through every kind of earthquake, cyclone, tsunami, volcanic eruption, snowstorm, and sandstorm that nature threw at him. He ate everything from old camel meat and rats to dung beetles and monkey’s brain. And he overcame attacks by crocodiles, hippos, anacondas, giant leeches, flying crabs—and several beautiful girlfriends who insisted that he stop this nonsense and marry them.Albert Podell’s Around the World in 50 Years is a remarkable tale of quiet courage, dogged persistence, undying determination, and an uncanny ability to extricate himself from one perilous situation after another—and return with some of the most memorable, frightening, and hilarious adventure stories you have ever read.“Even if your desire for exotic travel never takes you out of your reading chair, you’ll find Podell a fascinating companion.” —Bookpage“Unquestionably entertaining . . . There is never a dull moment.” —Kirkus Reviews
Around the World in a Bad Mood!: Confessions of a Flight Attendant
by Rene FossThis hilarious book confronts every aspect of a flight attendant's absurd world--from the endless array of passenger demands, to the secret language of flight attendants, and a unique version of the Safety Demo Shuffle. Fasten your seatbelt and prepare yourself for a side-splitting perspective on the trials and tribulations of air travel.