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No Quitting Allowed
by Rebecca Royce*Previously available in the Romancing Austin anthology, now available for the first time by itself.* One last assignment and then Lana is quitting her job, quitting Austin, and moving on with her life. Until Jake stumbles into her and changes the direction of her whole world. Can he make her see that both he and Austin, Texas are just where she belongs?
No Redneck Left Behind: Facing the Real World After Gettin' Your Diploma
by Jeff FoxworthyThey say your school years are your best years. That's a lie. There are plenty of good days ahead of you, unless you took so long to graduate that people thought you were in the seventeenth grade. Now it's time to take what you've learned in classes such as math, biology and introductory drywall hanging and make a success of your life. Okay, maybe you can at least stay off of COPS or Judge Judy. You might be a redneck if ... Your resume includes your high scores on video games. You think the ability to hold a job is overrated. You've asked a hairstylist for a "business at the front, party at the back" cut. You list "beginner's luck" as a skill on a job application. Your savings account is in the ashtray of your truck.
No Regrets, Coyote: A Novel
by John Dufresne“A very cool ride. If Raymond Chandler was reincarnated as a novelist in South Florida, he couldn’t nail it any better than Dufresne.”—Carl Hiaasen On Christmas Eve in Eden, Florida, Wylie “Coyote” Melville, therapist and forensic consultant, is summoned to a horrific crime scene. Five members of the Halliday family have been brutally killed. Wylie’s rare talent is an ability to read a crime scene, consider the evidence seen and unseen, and determine what’s likely to have happened. The police are soon convinced that the deaths were a murder-suicide carried out by a broken and desperate Chafin Halliday, but Wylie’s not so sure. As Wylie begins his own investigation with the help of his friend Bay Lettique—a poker-playing sleight-of-hand artist with links to the Everglades County underworld—he discovers a web of corruption involving the police union, Ponzi-scheming lawyers, county politicians, and the Russian mob. What follows is a heart-stopping, edgy novel that introduces a completely original crime solver.
No Regrets: The Best, Worst, & Most #$%*ing Ridiculous Tattoos Ever
by David Cross Aviva Yael P. M. ChenDr. Phil, Gay Unicorns, and Jesus Christ...They're all tattooed on someone's ass. Or face, or whatever. Remember that time you were wasted and thought it would be a good idea to get a tattoo on your leg of Maury Povich shaking hands with Sasquatch, but your friends talked you out of it at the last second? Well, some people don't have any friends...Aviva Yael and P. M. Chen spent a year going to tattoo conventions and tattoo studios all over the country, chasing, stalking, e-mailing, calling, interviewing, ambushing, and hunting down whomever they could in order to find the most insane tattoos out there. What started out as a joke in a bar became a year-long tattoo safari that's presented here in all its full color, balls-to-the-wall, train-wreck/beauty-pageant glory.
No Relation
by Terry FallisIn his fourth novel, winner of the 2011 Canada Reads competition and "CanLit's crowned king of chuckles" (Telegraph-Journal) Terry Fallis's sharp, funny wit takes readers into the world of identity, inheritance, and belonging, begging the question: What's in a name? This is the story of a young copywriter in New York City. He's worked at the same agency for fifteen years, and with a recent promotion under his belt, life is good. Then, one morning this copywriter finds himself unceremoniously fired from his job, and after he catches his live-in girlfriend moving out of their apartment a couple hours later, he's also single. Believe it or not, these aren't the biggest problems in this copywriter's life. There's something bigger, something that has been haunting him his whole life, something that he'll never be able to shake. Meet Earnest Hemmingway. What's in a name? Well, if you share your moniker with the likes of some of the most revered, infamous, and sometimes dreaded names in history, plenty. This is Earnest's lifelong plight, but something more recent is on his plate: His father is pressuring him to come home and play an active role in running the family clothing business. And as a complex familial battle plays out, Earnest's inherited name leads him in unexpected directions. Wry, clever, and utterly engaging, No Relation is Terry Fallis at the top of his form.
No Room for Dessert
by Christine Davenier Hallie DurandWith virtually no warning, it seems like Dessert's life story is being written in invisible ink. Nobody in the Schneider house seems to remember she exists. Her school picture hanging on the fridge? Covered. The promise of burritos? Forgotten. And her baby brother doesn't even know her name. (He calls her "dirt.") Dessert wants to get back on her family's radar...but how? Let there be lightbulbs! All Dessert has to do is win the Thomas Edison Contest at her school, which will be a piece o' cake. Dessert knows that when she comes home with the winner's trophy, her family is sure to take notice--and remember how spectacular she really is. Big ideas come easy for Dessert...but disappointments can hit hard. Will there be a Lightbulb Lemon Fondue at the end of the tunnel?
No Room for Error: A Lexi Carmichael Mystery, Book Seven (A Lexi Carmichael Mystery #7)
by Julie MoffettTrouble follows me, Lexi Carmichael, like a little black cloud. At least according to my boyfriend, Slash: brilliant hacker, national treasure and vault of secrets. Even I have to admit he could be right.After a series of high-profile cases at my cyberintelligence firm, I was looking forward to a simple job. All I had to do was personally deliver a revolutionary microchip to a manufacturing plant in Indonesia. Easy, right? Wrong.Someone else wants the design and is willing to kill to get it. A failed hijacking attempt lands me, my best friend Basia and our boss, Finn, in the middle of the jungle. Our mission is clear: protect the microchip design from the hijackers on our tail...and survive. But how can a geek girl like me survive without access to my beloved technology?I'm about to find out. And this time, there's no room for error.Don't miss Lexi's first adventure in No One Lives Twice!
No Shame: How to drop the guilt … from some who’s learned the f**king hard way
by Laura BelbinShame, shame we know your nameDo we own it? Being a woman that is. Do we fuck! We live in fear of how we look, what we eat, how we age and what we do. Wow, it's 2022 and we're still churning out that same old shit. I've been told as you get older you care less. Fucking great. I can't wait to be menopausal with skunk-like grey track lines in my hair, saggier tits, and miserable as shit. I don't know about you, but I'd quite like to have that experience - the no-fucks-experience that is - now, before that all happens. To have the confidence to believe in who I am. It's a push we all have to make - whether it be in our confidence over our bodies, who we are as people, or what goes on inside our mind - and we all have to work at it. It's baby steps. So let's take it back to those tiny steps, because all mountains that are climbed don't happen without practice, perseverance, self-belief and a fuck ton of work.
No Shame: the hilarious and candid memoir from one of our best-loved comedians
by Tom Allen'Wonderfully funny, utterly charming and sharp as all Hell'SARAH MILLICAN'Tom Allen is one of the funniest comedians in the UK, the best dressed man I know and now it turns out he is a superb writer. I hate him'JOSH WIDDICOMBE'A delightful, touching side-splitter'JO BRAND'An absolute joy! Funny, witty and totally charming'ALAN CARR~~~~~'When I was 16 I dressed in Victorian clothing in a bid to distract people from the fact that I was gay. It was a flawed plan.'No Shame is a very funny, candid and emotional ride of a memoir by one of our most beloved comedians. The working-class son of a coach driver, and the youngest member of the Noel Coward Society, Tom Allen grew up in 90s suburbia as the eternal outsider.In these hilarious, honest and heart breaking stories Tom recalls observations on childhood, his adolescence, the family he still lives with, and his attempts to come out and negotiate the gay dating scene. They are written with his trademark caustic wit and warmth, and will entertain, surprise and move you in equal measure.
No Shame: the hilarious and candid memoir from one of our best-loved comedians
by Tom Allen'Wonderfully funny, utterly charming and sharp as all Hell'SARAH MILLICAN'Tom Allen is one of the funniest comedians in the UK, the best dressed man I know and now it turns out he is a superb writer. I hate him'JOSH WIDDICOMBE'A delightful, touching side-splitter'JO BRAND'An absolute joy! Funny, witty and totally charming'ALAN CARR~~~~~'When I was 16 I dressed in Victorian clothing in a bid to distract people from the fact that I was gay. It was a flawed plan.'No Shame is a very funny, candid and emotional ride of a memoir by one of our most beloved comedians. The working-class son of a coach driver, and the youngest member of the Noel Coward Society, Tom Allen grew up in 90s suburbia as the eternal outsider.In these hilarious, honest and heart breaking stories Tom recalls observations on childhood, his adolescence, the family he still lives with, and his attempts to come out and negotiate the gay dating scene. They are written with his trademark caustic wit and warmth, and will entertain, surprise and move you in equal measure.
No Shame: the hilarious and candid memoir from one of our best-loved comedians
by Tom Allen'When I was 16 I dressed in Victorian clothing in a bid to distract people from the fact that I was gay. It was a flawed plan.'No Shame is a very funny, candid and emotional ride of a memoir by one of our most beloved comedians. The working-class son of a coach driver, and the youngest member of the Noel Coward Society, Tom Allen grew up in 90s suburbia as the eternal outsider.In these hilarious, honest and heart breaking stories Tom recalls observations on childhood, his adolescence, the family he still lives with, and his attempts to come out and negotiate the gay dating scene. They are written with his trademark caustic wit and warmth, and will entertain, surprise and move you in equal measure.(P) 2020 Hodder & Stoughton Ltd
No Shirt. No Shoes ... NO PROBLEM!
by Jeff FoxworthyFoxworthy relates his many hijinks, like the King Slob competition, and gives us the real stories behind his favorite Redneck jokes.
No Shirt. No Shoes....No Problem!
by Jeff FoxworthyAmerica's favorite Southern-fried, stand-up comedian and TV sitcom star Jeff Foxworthy brings his humor to the page in this riotous laugh-out-loud book. In No Shirt. No Shoes. . . . No Problem!, Foxworthy examines the hilarity of growing up, love, sex, crazy families, roommates, friendship, mooning, having a crush on your cousin, and the real stories behind many of his favorite Redneck jokes. So get ready: You're in for a helluva good time!
No Shortage of Good Days (John Gierach's Fly-fishing Library)
by John GierachIN his new book about the delightful torture known as fly fishing, John Gierach again demonstrates the wit, eloquence, and insight that have become his trademarks. Consider this observation about fishing: "From my own experience I can say that a bad back makes you hike slower, stove-up knees keep you from wading confidently, tendinitis of the elbow buggers your casting, and a dose of giardia can send you dashing into the bushes fifteen times in an afternoon, but although none of this is fun, it's discernibly better than not fishing." Or this explanation for every fisherman's fascination with small streams: "The idea is to fish obscure headwater creeks in hopes of eventually sniffing out an underappreciated little trout creek down an un-marked dirt road. Why is another question. I suppose it's partly for the fishing itself and partly to satisfy your curiosity, but mostly to sustain the belief that such things are still out there to find for those willing to look." And perhaps the ultimate explanation for the fishing obsession: "I briefly wondered how much trouble a guy should go to in order to catch a few little trout, but then any fish becomes worth catching to the extent that you can't catch it, so the answer was obvious: Once you decide to try, you go to as much trouble as it takes." In No Shortage of Good Days Gierach takes usfrom the Smokies in Tennessee to his home waters in Colorado, from the Canadian Maritimes to Mexico--saltwater or fresh, it's all fishing and all irresistible. As always he writes perceptively about a wide range of subjects: the charm of familiar waters, the etiquette 27.99 of working with new fishing guides, night fishing when the trout and the mosquitoes are both biting, fishing while there is still slush on the river, fishing snobbery, and the delights of fresh fish cooked and eaten within sight of where it was caught. No Shortage of Good Days may be the next best thing to a day of fishing.
No Sleep till Doomsday (A Dru Jasper Novel #3)
by Laurence MacNaughtonAn inexperienced sorceress must retrieve a priceless artifact from the enchantress who stole it, break the curse on her half-demon boyfriend, and stop her friends from turning on each other before the enchantress calls down doomsday.When a wicked enchantress steals a cursed doomsday amulet, crystal sorceress Dru Jasper has only twenty-four hours to get it back before the world will come to a fiery end. With this supernatural amulet in hand, the enchantress intends to break the sixth seal of the apocalypse scroll--making the seas boil, the stars fall from the sky, and the earth itself split apart. Overall, bad news. Dru must hit the road to get the amulet back. But she suspects her half-demon boyfriend, Greyson, and his demon-possessed muscle car, Hellbringer, are hiding a dark secret. Can she trust them to help her stop doomsday? Worse, tracking down the enchantress runs Dru smack up against a pack of killer shape-shifters, the grim mystery of a radioactive ghost town, and a dangerous speed demon even more powerful than Hellbringer. As the clock runs out, Dru is locked in a high-speed chase with the enchantress, fighting a fierce, magical duel she can never win alone. Can Dru and her sorcerer friends unravel Hellbringer's secrets, outwit the shape-shifters, and retrieve the stolen amulet before the dawn of doomsday?
No Stone Unturned: A Lexi Carmichael Mystery, Book Eleven (A Lexi Carmichael Mystery)
by Julie MoffettAn engagement is supposed to be a fun, exciting time in a girl’s life. But things are never that easy for Slash and me. Instead, someone is threatening to expose Slash’s past—a past so secret, even I know very little about it.Before I can get used to the weight of Nonna’s antique ring on my finger, he’s on his way to Rome…and we’re farther apart than we’ve ever been. Still, I have no intention of sitting at home and letting him take on the Vatican by himself.With a little expert-level hacking, I learn Slash is keeping secrets from me. Big ones. Dangerous ones. In fact, the more I dig into Slash’s past, the more I discover things about him I never knew—things that eventually pit us against each other.From Rome to the Amalfi Coast to the highest levels of the Vatican, we both race to discover the truth. No matter what I find, we’re officially a team now, so I won’t let him face this alone. Even if I don’t know if our relationship can survive it.And don’t miss the rest of Julie Moffett’s Lexi Carmichael Mysteries: No One Lives Twice, No One To Trust, No Money Down, No Place Like Rome, No Biz Like Showbiz, No Test for the Wicked, No Woman Left Behind, No Room for Error, No Strings Attached, No Living Soul and No Regrets, available now from Carina Press!This book is approximately 100,000 words
No Stopping Now
by Dawn AtkinsWhere is the infamous Doctor Nite when she needs him? Sure, Brody Donegan acts the obnoxious cable show host when documentary maker Jillian James shines the camera on him. When the lights go off, however, it's the man behind the persona that has her libido working overtime. And once she's had a taste of the real Brody, there is no stopping this fling. But she's promised a network the exclusive on Doctor Nite in her film about bad-for-you bachelors. And the more time she spends in Brody's bed, the more she doubts how bad he is for her. Can she capture that footage...and keep the man?
No Strings Attached: A Lexi Carmichael Mystery, Book Eight (A Lexi Carmichael Mystery)
by Julie MoffettOops, I did it again...Leave it to me, Lexi Carmichael, to become a target for an elite organization of cyber criminals simply by being in the wrong place at the right time. As if I weren't already freaking out about planning my best friend's bachelorette party, I now have to keep my eyes peeled for people trying to kill me.After accidentally intercepting a dangerous hack into the NSA and discovering the involvement of a foreign country in said hack, things begin to get seriously complicated. Diplomats, danger and spies, oh, my!With Slash and my loyal friends by my side, I'm in a race against time to stop a team of sophisticated hackers on a deadly mission. My team of geeks is brilliant...but derailing an international plot for revenge will take everything we've got. Don't miss Lexi's first adventure in No One Lives Twice!
No Such Thing as Perfect (Bounce Back #2)
by Misako Rocks!Emma can’t help comparing herself to her bright and popular older sister, Julia. Try as she might, Emma can’t seem to please her mom as much as her sister does. The more Emma measures herself alongside Julia and others, the more pressure she feels to try to change. But trying to be as good as everyone else at everything is exhausting and frustrating.With help from her friends and basketball teammates, as well as Lexi, the French bulldog she’s dogsitting, Emma realizes that there’s no such thing as “perfect”—and it feels better to be true to herself, instead of trying to please others. But will other people, especially her mom, understand that Emma may not excel at the same things as her sister?
No Such Thing as a Witch
by Ruth ChewMaggie Brown is the new next door neighbor. When you eat her magical fudge you can become your favorite animal. Join Maggie, Nora and Tad on a trip to the zoo!
No Sunscreen for the Dead: A Novel (Serge Storms #22)
by Tim DorseyThe Sunshine State’s most lovable psychopath, Serge A. Storms, kills it in this zany adventure from the “compulsively irreverent and shockingly funny” (Boston Globe) king of mayhem, New York Times bestselling author Tim Dorsey. <P><P>Serge and Coleman are back on the road, ready to hit the next stop on their list of obscure and wacky points of interest in the Sunshine State. This time, Serge’s interest is drawn to one of the largest retirement villages in the world—also known as the site of an infamous sex scandal between a retiree and her younger beau that rocked the community. <P><P>What starts out as an innocent quest to observe elders in their natural habitats, sample the local cuisine, and scope out a condo to live out the rest of their golden years, soon becomes a Robin Hood-like crusade to recover the funds of swindled residents. <P><P>After all, our seniors should be revered and respected—they’ve heroically fought in wars, garnered priceless wisdom, and they have the best first-hand accounts of bizarre Floridian occurrences only Serge would know about. <P><P>But as the resident’s rally for Serge to seek justice on their behalves, two detectives are hot on the heels of Serge and Coleman’s murderous trail. <P><P>In this epic adventure that jumps between present day and the tumultuous times of the Vietnam war, mystery fans are in for a witty and deliciously violent delight from the twisted imagination of bestselling author Tim Dorsey.
No Surrender
by Sara ArdenSometimes the only way to forgiveness is sin... Sean Dryden-the superhot all-American golden boy-has always gotten under Kentucky Lee's skin. She can't remember a time when she wasn't in love with the Special Ops Aviation pilot...even when he got engaged to her best friend. What Kentucky never knew is that Sean broke it off with Lynnie just a week before she died. Something has come apart in Sean-too many missions, too much loss. Only Kentucky seems to understand him...and the undercurrent running between them is tangible. That need to touch and taste-to remind themselves they're still alive. Can the fire in her warm his frozen heart?
No Thoughts Just Possums: 90 Hilarious Memes
by SylviePossums: chaotic, cute, trash-eating, sometimes screaming. No Thoughts, Just Possums celebrates the noble possum with 90 hilarious memes. Written by Sylvie, who runs the popular meme account @69possums420, they&’re sure to scratch the possum itch. The perfect gift for a friend or loved one in these trying times, or just a little bit of self-care for you, No Thoughts, Just Possums is chock-full of fun gags—all starring the Internet&’s favorite garbage mammal.
No Time Like Mardi Gras (One Night in New Orleans #1)
by Kimberly LangA scandalous night-and no one will ever know!Mardi Gras might be the best party in the world, but Jamie Vincent is spending it third-wheeling with her new roommate. So when gorgeous stranger Colin Raine offers to show her around, how can she say no?Soon Jamie's seduced by the hedonistic carnival-and her delicious tour guide! Technically she's sworn off men, but for one night only, they can go crazy and no one will ever know....Until everyone in New Orleans finds out! Now that Jamie's secret is out, it looks like what happened at Mardi Gras might not stay at Mardi Gras, after all....
No Time Like the Future: An Optimist Considers Mortality
by Michael J FoxThe entire world knows Michael J. Fox as Marty McFly, the teenage sidekick of Doc Brown in Back to the Future; as Alex P. Keaton in Family Ties; as Mike Flaherty in Spin City; and through numerous other movie roles and guest appearances on shows such as The Good Wife and Curb Your Enthusiasm. Diagnosed at age 29, Michael is equally engaged in Parkinson's advocacy work, raising global awareness of the disease and helping find a cure through The Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research, the world's leading non-profit funder of PD science. His two previous bestselling memoirs, Lucky Man and Always Looking Up, dealt with how he came to terms with the illness, all the while exhibiting his iconic optimism. His new memoir reassesses this outlook, as events in the past decade presented additional challenges.In No Time Like the Future: An Optimist Considers Mortality, Michael shares personal stories and observations about illness and health, ageing, the strength of family and friends, and how our perceptions about time affect the way we approach mortality. Thoughtful and moving, but with Fox's trademark sense of humour, his book provides a vehicle for reflection about our lives, our loves, and our losses.Running through the narrative is the drama of the medical madness Fox recently experienced, that included his daily negotiations with the Parkinson's disease he's had since 1991, and a spinal cord issue that necessitated immediate surgery. His challenge to learn how to walk again, only to suffer a devastating fall, nearly caused him to ditch his trademark optimism and "get out of the lemonade business altogether."Does he make it all of the way back? Listen to the audiobook. (P)2020 Macmillan Audio