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No! I Don't Want to Join a Book Club
by Virginia IronsideRead Virginia Ironside's posts on the Penguin Blog. A screamingly funny and poignant story about embracing life beyond middle age Marie Sharp is heading toward sixty and is just fine with it. She's already had plenty of excitement in her life: sex and drugs in the freewheeling sixties, career and children, marriage and divorce. Now she's ready to settle into a quiet, blissfully boring routine. No Italian classes or gym memberships or bicycle trips across Europe, thank you very much! Marie just wants to put her feet up and "start doing old things." She's even sworn off men! But as it turns out, life still has some surprises in store, the biggest of which is a new grandson on the way. What's more, Archie, her old childhood crush, suddenly reenters her life, and her closest friend falls seriously ill. Armed with a biting sense of humor, Marie wrestles with a life that refuses to follow her plans--and may still offer more possibilities than she realizes.
No! Jocks Don't Date Guys (The JOCK Series #2)
by Wade KellyThe JOCK Series: Book TwoWhat is a sexy soccer stud supposed to do when "following family tradition" falls 180 degrees opposite his closeted ideal? From birth, Chris Jackson has been schooled on how to land a cheerleader. After all, his father married one, and his father's father before him. Heck, even his older brother married a stereotypical cheerleader the summer before Chris went off to college. For two years, Chris dodges invasive questions about relationships by blaming his lack of female companionship on grueling practices and heavy course loads. But his lack of interest in girls should've given his family a clue. It isn't until Chris mentions meeting a boy that his father's synapses short-circuit. Alonzo Martin is anything but a buxom blond. From his black hair, combat boots, and trench coat to his nail polish and guyliner, the mysterious introvert isn't easily persuaded to date. Alonzo's insecurities keep Chris at arm's length, but Alonzo's painful past might meet its match in the charismatic jock's winning smile and sense of humor. When opposites attract, only cheerleaders and gummy bears can help overcome fear and family tradition.
No! Said Rabbit
by Marjoke HenrichsThis hilarious picture book of a strong-willed rabbit perfectly relates to the everyday struggles of parents.Rabbit is happy doing his own thing, thank you. He doesn't want to have to listen to anyone else! Not when Mom says to get up, not when Mom says to get dressed, not when Mom says to have breakfast, play outside, come inside, and least of all—have a bath! Then Mom makes a suggestion that Rabbit simply can't resist...and maybe Rabbit is ready to listen after all!Debut author-illustrator Marjoke Henrichs delivers a laugh-out-loud tale for both parent and child, with a loving and reassuring ending that makes for excellent for bedtime reading.
No, David!
by David ShannonThe Caldecott Honor-winning classic by bestselling picture-book creator David Shannon!When David Shannon was five years old, he wrote and illustrated his first book. On every page were these words: NO, DAVID! . . . and a picture of David doing things he was not supposed to do. Now David is all grown up. But some things never change. . . .Over fifteen years after its initial publication, NO, DAVID! remains a perennial household favorite, delighting children, parents, and teachers alike. David is a beloved character, whose unabashed good humor, mischievous smile, and laughter-inducing antics underline the love parents have for their children--even when they misbehave.
No, Thanks! I'm Quite Happy Standing!: Marie Sharp 4
by Virginia IronsideMarie is turning 69 this year, but there are no signs of her slowing down - she has a new male lodger (very into conspiracy theories), an intractable iPhone to wrestle with, and a trip to India to plan!As usual the year brings plenty of challenges as well as opportunities. Marie is burgled, which sends the street into uproar. Ex-husand David is still around and getting rather too close for comfort. Marie's cat Pouncer is starting to look rather peaky (her conspiracy-theorist lodger is convinced someone is poisoning him), and probably worst of all, it seems her grandson Gene is getting too old to want to hang out with his granny any more. Maybe learning to graffiti and speak street slang will help win him back?Full of Virginia Ironside's inimitable wit and featuring plenty of popular characters from this series, this is a hilarious and touching look at getting older from one of Britain's best observers of relationships.
No, Thanks! I'm Quite Happy Standing!: Marie Sharp 4
by Virginia IronsideMarie is turning 69 this year, but there are no signs of her slowing down - she has a new lodger (very into conspiracy theories), an intractable iPhone to wrestle with, and a trip to India to plan!As usual the year brings plenty of challenges as well as opportunities. Marie is burgled, which sends the street into uproar. Ex-husand David is still around and getting rather too close for comfort. Marie's cat Pouncer is starting to look rather peaky (her conspiracy-theorist lodger is convinced someone is poisoning him), and probably worst of all, it seems Gene is getting too old to want to hang out with his old granny any more. Maybe learning to graffiti and speak street slang will help win him back??Full of Virginia Ironside's inimitable wit and featuring plenty of popular characters from this series, this is a hilarious and touching look at getting older from one of Britain's best observers of relationships.(P)2016 WF Howes Ltd
No, You Can't: Aim Low and Give Up Winning for Good
by Dave DunseathIs it time for you to just give up?Because every time you aim low, you&’ll feel like you&’ve died and gone to Disneyland. You&’ll be in a place where you&’re never concerned about hard work, a place where you never feel guilty for goofing off all day, a place where nobody expects anything from you, a place where choosing to eat a third corn dog--or not--will be the hardest decision of your day.No, You Can&’t also offers such crumbs of wisdom as:Hope is a crutch. Crutches are only good for getting two things: awesome parking at the mall and sympathy dates. Otherwise, they will just slow you down.You can&’t be a failure when you have no hope of winning.Whoever said nothing is easy has never tried quitting.Aiming low is as easy as breathing. You can practically do it without thinking. And the skills required to get there--like quitting and making excuses--take less time to learn than you might imagine. All you need is No, You Can&’t and the stark realization that you don&’t really want to &“be all that you can be.&” In fact, your expectations can go so low that anything you DO achieve is completely surprising.
Noah and the Stork
by Penny McCuskerThis Stork Was Nine Years Late!When Noah Bryant returns home to Erskine, Montana, he's not anticipating a hero's welcome. After all, he abandoned the town-and his high school girlfriend-right after the prom and hasn't spoken to anyone there since. But the last person he expects to meet is his nine-year-old daughter, Jessie...a daughter he didn't know he had.When Noah returns, Janey realizes she never really stopped loving him. And he seems eager to be a part of Jessie's life, and hers. But Noah's back in Erskine for more than personal reasons; he has a business proposition that could seriously affect the whole town. And if there's anything Janey loves as much as her family, it's Erskine.
Noah's Favorite Animal Jokes
by Jennifer HahnWhy did the chicken cross the road? To pick up a copy of Noah's Favorite Animal Jokes! This brand-new collection--categorized by wacky animals and hilarious situations--is sure to make anyone laugh... even you old sourpusses!<p> From talking dogs to cranky gorillas to chickens that cross the road, Noah's Favorite Animal Jokes is packed with five hundred classic, crazy, and/or corny stories, riddles, and one-liners appropriate for any age group.
Nobber: 'A bloody and brilliant first novel'
by Oisín FaganLONGLISTED FOR THE DESMOND ELLIOTT PRIZESHORTLISTED FOR THE BOLLINGER EVERYMAN WODEHOUSE PRIZE'A writer out to do whatever the hell he wants . . . a grisly, gross-out slice of medieval life and death, it's vigorously, writhingly itself, spilling out of any box you put it in' Observer'A dark and bloody tale, well leavened with bone-dry humour, and with a dramatic climax that has about it the flavour of a Jacobean tragedy' Guardian 'Set to become an Irish cult classic' Sunday Business Post'A tremendously engaging and fun read . . . a crazed, quixotic odyssey' Kevin BarryAn ambitious noble and his three serving men travel through the Irish countryside in the stifling summer of 1348, using the advantage of the plague which has collapsed society to buy up large swathes of property and land. They come upon Nobber, a tiny town, whose only living habitants seem to be an egotistical bureaucrat, his volatile wife, a naked blacksmith, and a beautiful Gaelic hostage. Meanwhile, a band of marauding Gaels are roaming around, using the confusion of the sickness to pillage and reclaim lands that once belonged to them. As these groups converge upon the town, the habitants, who up until this point have been under strict curfew, begin to stir from their dwellings, demanding answers from the intruders. A deadly stand-off emerges from which no one will escape unscathed.'Nobber is hallucinatory and sly, conjuring a densely strange and savagely captivating world. There are lots of novels, and there are lots of novels that are all much alike, but there is nothing like Nobber' Colin Barrett'A skilled storyteller with a rich command of language and rare comedic flair' Irish Times
Nobber: 'A bloody and brilliant first novel'
by Oisín FaganLONGLISTED FOR THE DESMOND ELLIOTT PRIZESHORTLISTED FOR THE BOLLINGER EVERYMAN WODEHOUSE PRIZEAn ambitious noble and his three serving men travel through the Irish countryside in the stifling summer of 1348, using the advantage of the plague which has collapsed society to buy up large swathes of property and land. They come upon Nobber, a tiny town, whose only living habitants seem to be an egotistical bureaucrat, his volatile wife, a naked blacksmith, and a beautiful Gaelic hostage. Meanwhile, a band of marauding Gaels are roaming around, using the confusion of the sickness to pillage and reclaim lands that once belonged to them. As these groups converge upon the town, the habitants, who up until this point have been under strict curfew, begin to stir from their dwellings, demanding answers from the intruders. A deadly stand-off emerges from which no one will escape unscathed.'A dark and bloody tale, well leavened with bone-dry humour, and with a dramatic climax that has about it the flavour of a Jacobean tragedy' Guardian 'A writer out to do whatever the hell he wants . . . a grisly, gross-out slice of medieval life and death, it's vigorously, writhingly itself, spilling out of any box you put it in' Observer'Nobber is hallucinatory and sly, conjuring a densely strange and savagely captivating world. There are lots of novels, and there are lots of novels that are all much alike, but there is nothing like Nobber' Colin Barrett'A skilled storyteller with a rich command of language and rare comedic flair' Irish Times(P)2020 Hodder & Stoughton Limited
Nobody But You (Cedar Ridge #3)
by Jill Shalvis<p> After an overseas mission goes wrong, Army Special Forces officer Jacob Kincaid knows where he must go to make things right: back home to the tiny town of Cedar Ridge, Colorado. All he needs to scrub away his painful past is fresh mountain air, a lakeside cabin, and quiet solitude. But what he discovers is a gorgeous woman living on a boat at his dock. <p>Sophie Marren has nowhere else to go. She's broke, intermittently seasick, and fighting a serious attraction to the brooding, dishy, I'm-too-sexy-for-myself guy who's now claiming her dock. Something about Jacob's dark intensity makes her want to tease-and tempt-him beyond measure. Neither one wants to give any ground . . . until they realize the only true home they have is with each other. <P><b>A New York Times Bestseller</b>
Nobody But You: A warm and funny romance (Cedar Ridge #3)
by Jill ShalvisFans of Jill Mansell, Debbie Macomber, Nora Roberts and Marie Force will fall head over heels for the Cedar Ridge series from New York Times bestselling author Jill Shalvis, featuring her trademark gift for humour, warmth and romance. What the best way to heal a broken heart?Finally free of her cheating ex-husband, Sophie's escaped with his most precious possession - his boat - and not much else. It's the perfect revenge...if only she wasn't quite so seasick all the time. What she really needs is a free place to moor so she can start getting on with her life, and by an empty lakeside cabin seems just the spot. Only it's no longer uninhabited. Jacob Kincaid, Army Special Forces officer, has returned, craving Cedar Ridge's tranquillity to help him make peace with his own past.Sophie and Jacob agree they aren't looking for anything but comfort as long as their mutual desire lasts. Yet as their bond deepens, might it be that their attraction is the kind that actually lasts for ever?Want more warm, funny romance? Don't miss the other delightful Cedar Ridge novels, Second Chance Summer and My Kind of Wonderful, visit spellbinding Lucky Harbor or experience some Animal Magnetism in Sunshine, Idaho in Jill's other unforgettable series.
Nobody Cares: Essays
by Anne T. DonahueWitty and painfully honest essays about perfection vs. reality: &“Hilarious…[an] incredibly distinctive voice.&” —Emma Gannon, bestselling author of Olive From the author of the popular newsletter That&’s What She Said, Nobody Cares is a candid personal essay collection about work, failure, friendship, and the messy business of being alive in your twenties and thirties. As she shares her hard-won insights from screwing up, growing up, and trying to find her own path, Anne T. Donahue offers all the honesty, laughs, and reassurance of a late-night phone call with your best friend. Whether she&’s giving a signature pep talk, railing against summer, or describing her own mental health struggles, Anne reminds us that failure is normal, saying no to things is liberating, and we&’re all a bunch of beautiful disasters—and she wouldn&’t have it any other way. &“Her essays about the less photogenic moments of her life contain their own sort of beauty, the kind that comes from failing and persevering. From breaking down her anxiety disorder to getting in touch with helpful and well-deserved female rage, Donahue is as inspiring as she is droll.&” ―Vulture &“Frank, funny, observations.&” —Cosmopolitan &“I don&’t know how anyone could read her and not immediately fall in love.&” —Scaachi Koul, author of One Day We&’ll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter
Nobody Cries at Bingo
by Dawn DumontIn this collection of humorous essays, the narrator, Dawn, invites the reader to witness firsthand her childhood on the Okanese First Nation in Saskatchewan, Canada. Beyond the stereotypes and clichés of Rez dogs, drinking, and bingos, the story of a girl who loved to read begins to unfold. Her hopes, dreams, and indomitable humor lay bare the beauty and love within her family, while her unerring eye reveals the great family bond expressed through the actions and affections of her extended family--sisters, aunties, uncles, brothers, cousins, nieces, nephews, and ultimately her ancestors. It's all here--life on the Rez in rich Technicolor--as Dawn emerges from home life, through school life, and into the promise of a great future. This is a book that embraces cultural differences and does it with the great traditional medicine of laughter.
Nobody Wants Your Sh*t: The Art of Decluttering Before You Die
by Messie CondoFree yourself and your family from the f*cking clutter before you croak! Inspired by The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, Nobody Wants Your Sh*t will light a fire under your untidy ass with humor and helpful organizing tips that you&’ll actually want to use. Like a delightfully foul-mouthed best friend, this book dishes out the funny, unpretentious advice you need to hear most. You&’ll discover how to deal with your sh*t like there&’s no tomorrow, live in the moment without the f*cking mess, and make your life and your eventual death a hell of a lot easier. With this witty guide, you&’ll learn how to:ditch the d*mn indecisionget your sh*t together and feel fantasticgive your busy family a f*cking breakand more! Whether you&’re getting ready to move in, move on, or just move your ass, Nobody Wants Your Sh*t will help you take control of your f*cking life.
Nobody Will Tell You This But Me: A true (as told to me) story
by Bess KalbBess Kalb, Emmy-nominated TV writer and New Yorker contributor, saved every voicemail her grandmother Bobby Bell ever left her. Bobby was a force--irrepressible, glamorous, unapologetically opinionated. Bobby doted on Bess; Bess adored Bobby. Then, at ninety, Bobby died. But in this debut memoir, Bobby is speaking to Bess once more, in a voice as passionate as it ever was in life. <P><P>Recounting both family lore and family secrets, Bobby brings us four generations of indomitable women and the men who loved them. There's Bobby's mother, who traveled solo from Belarus to America in the 1880s to escape the pogroms, and Bess's mother, a 1970s rebel who always fought against convention. Then there's Bess, who grew up in New York and entered the rough-and-tumble world of L.A. television. Her grandma Bobby was with her all the way--she was the light of Bess's childhood and her fiercest supporter, giving Bess unequivocal love, even if sometimes of the toughest kind. <P><P>In Nobody Will Tell You This But Me, Bobby reminds Bess of the experiences they shared, and she delivers--in phone calls, texts, and unforgettable heart-to-hearts brought vividly to the page--her signature wisdom: If the earth is cracking behind you, you put one foot in front of the other. Never. Buy. Fake. Anything.I swear on your life every word of this is true.With humor and poignancy, Bess Kalb gives us proof of the special bond that can skip a generation and endure beyond death. This book is a feat of extraordinary ventriloquism and imagination by a remarkably talented writer.
Nobody's Duck
by Mary SullivanWhen a duck mysteriously arrives on an alligator’s lawn, they set off to discover just who the duck belongs to. From the library to skydiving, from exasperation to laughter, the two make an unexpected discovery about friendship. Readers will delight in this odd couple’s wacky adventures that feature the signature wit and ingenuity of Geisel Honor winner Mary Sullivan. Like its predecessors Ball, Treat, and Frankie, Nobody’s Duck has humor and heart in spades (and quacks).
Nobody's Perfect (The Dortmunder Novels #4)
by Donald E. WestlakeAn inside-job art heist goes awry in this &“wildly funny&” crime novel by the Edgar Award–winning author (The New York Times Book Review). It would take a miracle to keep Dortmunder out of jail. Though he cased the electronics store perfectly, the cops surprised him, turning up in the alley just as he was walking out the back door, a television in each hand. Already a two-time loser, without divine intervention he faces a long stretch inside. Then God sends J. Radcliffe Stonewiler, a celebrity lawyer who gets Dortmunder off with hardly any effort at all. Stonewiler was sent by Arnold Chauncey, an art lover with a cash flow problem. He asks the thief to break into his house and make off with a valuable painting in exchange for a quarter of the insurance money. Chauncey has pulled the stunt twice before, so it must look real. He&’ll give Dortmunder no inside help—a shame since, when this caper spins out of control, he&’ll need all the help he can get.
Nobody's Perfect. I'm As Close As It Gets.: Nobody's Perfect. I'm As Close As It Gets. (Dear Dumb Diary Year Two #3)
by Jim BentonWhatever you do, DON'T read Jamie Kelly's bestselling diaries!The bestselling Dear Dumb Diary series is a hilarious hit! Now Jamie Kelly's diaries have a fresh look and a fun twist. Dear Dumb Diary Year Two is still laugh-out-loud funny -- but everything is another year dumber!As Jamie continues to grapple with middle school's Big Questions, she drops even more snarky gems of wisdom like, "Everybody knows that the more you love somebody, the less you try to look nice for them," and "People don't appreciate how much willpower it takes to do the wrong thing."(But Jamie STILL has no idea that anybody is reading her diary. So please, please, please don't tell her.)
Nobody’s Cat
by Fannie PeczenikGattone enjoys the attention he gets from people along with the food and bedding, but he enjoys his freedom even more. Gattone is nobody’s cat and that’s the way he wants to be—or is it?
Noche de paz, noche de misterio (Serie Perrock Holmes #Volumen 20)
by Isaac PalmiolaPerrock Holmes es la serie de detectives juvenil con mucho suspense, aventura y grandes dosis de humor. Cuando el misterio llame a tu puerta, tú llama a Perrock, Perrock Holmes. Julia y Diego han encontrado el billete dorado que había escondido en una tableta de turrón. ¡Se van a Laponia a pasar las Navidades con el gran escritor David Cagallians! Pero cuando llegan, nada es tan perfecto...Estos son los HECHOS: David Cagallians está en un bloqueo creativo porque alguien le ha robado la cajita de música que le inspira a escribir. Estas son las PISTAS: solo las personas más cercanas conocían la existencia de su amuleto: familiares, trabajadores, Papá Noel... ESTAS NAVIDADES HUELEN A MISTERIO... ¿O NO?
Noches de canela y café expreso (De amor y otros vicios #Volumen 5)
by Ángeles Valero«Sus labios eran una tentación en la que podría caer una y mil veces». A Giulia le afectan los inconvenientes de ser famosa. Vivir alejada de los suyos y estar pendiente de la prensa la agota. Hay pocas personas en las que pueda confiar y una de ellas es Claudio, otro modelo por el que todas suspiran. Tras una experiencia desastrosa, Oriol no quiere enamorarse. Prefiere dedicarse a su trabajo y olvidarse de relaciones, hasta que aparece Mencía, una chica que mandará al traste sus intenciones. Saben que podrían ser felices juntos, pero las barreras que han construido hacen peligrar sus oportunidades de volver a amar. Con las dudas, la envidia y los rumores jugando en su contra, ¿conseguirá el amor vencer todos los obstáculos y demostrar que es lo único que de verdad importa?
Noches de helado y vermut (De amor y otros vicios #Volumen 2)
by Ángeles Valero«Eran los ojos más bonitos que había visto, mirándolos se veía capaz de perder el control y dejarse llevar como nunca había imaginado». Gabi no está en un buen momento. Cansada de un trabajo por el que lo ha dado todo, se ve incapaz de dar un giro radical a su vida y apostar por la pintura, su pasión. Álvaro empieza con ilusión una nueva vida en Valencia. Centrado en su estudio de tatuajes, no le cierra las puertas al amor, pero tampoco está entre sus prioridades. A pesar de que es diferente a todos los hombres que ha conocido y de que no piensa en enamorarse, Gabi siente curiosidad por él. Álvaro tampoco es inmune a los encantos de ella y una fuerte atracción lo lleva a querer conocerla más. Gabi le enseña Valencia, Álvaro todos los tatuajes de su piel, y juntos vencen sus miedos demostrando que, aunque distintos a simple vista, sus corazones laten a la par.
Noches de patatas fritas y cerveza (De amor y otros vicios #Volumen 1)
by Ángeles Valero«Habría hecho cualquier cosa por quedarse en ese momento eternamente. Al fin estaba en sus brazos». A Álex le ofrecen el ascenso con el que siempre ha soñado, pero eso implica mudarse a Tarragona. Aun así, acepta el traslado y se marcha ilusionada. Allí, Álex se reencuentra con Dani y Lucas, dos viejos amigos. Todo podría ser idílico, de no ser porque empieza a sentir una fuerte atracción hacia Dani. La vida amorosa de Dani ha sido una sucesión de citas sin compromiso, pero Álex despierta en él sentimientos que nunca pensó tener. Se ve atrapado entre la parte que le dice que siga siendo solo su amigo y la que le grita que vaya a por todas, pues entre ellos hay un obstáculo difícil de superar. ¿Podrán Álex y Dani vencer al deseo que está poniendo su existencia del revés o caerán en él? ¿Será una «Noche de patatas fritas» entre amigos la solución a todos sus problemas?