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Pencil of Doom! (Schooling Around #2)
by Andy GriffithsHenry McThrottle and his friends never know what's going to happen when they get to their fifth-grade class. Flying lessons? Possible. Banana-appreciation exams? Definitely possible. High jinks galore? Guaranteed. In this case, the wackiness is fueled by the "Pencil of Doom", a strange and powerful pencil that Henry has inherited, which appears to be able to write the future as well as it can write on paper. In the right hands, it's a thing of fantasy. And in the wrong hands, it could spell ruination for the whole school! With his trademark humor, Andy Griffiths takes us to a school that's like no other and is sure to keep readers laughing.
Pencilmate vs. Pencil: A Pencilmation Story (Pencilmation)
by Steve BehlingPencilmate draws the line in this new chapter book. Based on the hit YouTube series Pencilmation!It's time to strike back against The Pencil in the sky! Pencilmate gathers all of his friends, Pencilmiss, Granny, and Mini Big Guy to help him find The Pencil's greatest weakness. After several sketchy moments that The Pencil draws around them, they eventually fall off the page and into a strange, new world. Our world. Who will win? Pencilmate or The Pencil? You're going to have to read and find out!
Pencilympics: A Pencilmation Story (Pencilmation)
by Jake BlackPencilmate has his eyes on the prize in this chapter book. Perfect for fans of the hit YouTube series Pencilmation!Pencilmate signs up for the Pencilympics, a competition of super athletic challenges, in order to win a quadrillion dollar prize! Follow Pencilmate as he trains and competes in an intense game of Thumb War, basketball, karate, and more! Will Pencilmate win the grand prize? Read along to find out!
Penelope
by Rebecca HarringtonWhen Penelope O'Shaunessy, "an incoming freshman of average height and lank hair" steps into Harvard Yard for the first time she has lots of advice from her mother: "Don't be too enthusiastic, don't talk to people who seem to be getting annoyed, and for heaven's sake, stop playing Tetris on your phone at parties." Penelope needs this advice. She is the kind of girl who passes through much of her life with coffee spilled on her white shirt, who can't quite tell when people are joking, and who, inevitably, always says the wrong thing. But no amount of coaching will prepare Penelope for the people she meets at school. Gloriously skewering the social hierarchy of college, Penelope is the brilliantly funny story of one of the most singular, memorable heroines in recent fiction.
Penelope (The Daring Debutantes Series #3)
by M. C. BeatonThis Regency romance by the bestselling author of the Agatha Raisin mysteries finds a young lady&’s love life competing with her aunt&’s social climbing.Penelope—golden-haired, azure-eyed, fresh from the county—has stolen the heart of the most desirable Earl of Hestleton. Rich, startlingly handsome, he is the most eligible lord in the realm. He had planned to toy with her affections then toss her to the bon ton, but when the Earl discovers that he is a pawn in Penelope&’s Aunt Augusta&’s social-climbing scheme, he begins to doubt Penelope&’s true love. Now the belle may struggle to keep her beau or her aunt&’s ambitious plans just might force Penelope to flee…ABOUT THE COLLECTION The seven heroines of the Daring Debutantes Collection set out to conquer London&’s glittering high society and the marriage mart. These headstrong women cannot help but keep London society dangling on a string, but will they find a husband or lose themselves in the game?
Penelope Crumb
by Shawn K. StoutPenelope Crumb would LOVE Ramona Quimby! And might even name her eyebrow "Marge. "Penelope Crumb is no ordinary fourth grader. She carries around a red toolbox that used to belong to her father (who's been dead since Penelope was a baby), she keeps a list for the government chronicling the many ways in which her brother is turning into an alien, she helps her home-schooled neighbor Littie with her many projects--including the construction of a marshmallow helmet--and also, she can draw pretty much anything. So when her best friend Patsy has to draw a picture of Penelope for class, she attributes the big nose Patsy gives her to Patsy's poor art skills. But then Penelope finds out that it's true! She does have a big nose! Just like her Grandpa Felix, who's been gone from her life since before she can remember. What follows is a sweet and funny story--with tons of heart and hijinks-- about Penelope finding her grandpa and using her big nose--and his big nose--to make her family whole again. .
Penelope Crumb Finds Her Luck
by Valeria Docampo Shawn Stout"Kids who have outgrown the Junie B. Jones series will enjoy Penelope's equally comical narrative style." --BCCB In the third book in this hilarious, endearing series, all Penelope Crumb wants is to be someone's "Favorite." She'd thought she was her Grandpa Felix's Favorite, and her mom's Favorite, and her friend Patsy Cline's Favorite, but she's starting to realize that maybe she's not. And it's all The Bad Luck's fault. So since Penelope's a superb artist, she comes up with a plan--she's going to be the boss of the mural her school is making at the Portwaller's Blessed Home for the Aged, which will make her into everyone's Favorite. And maybe it'll frighten The Bad Luck away. But things don't quite go as planned there either. And when an old woman named Nila promises to help Penelope find her luck so everyone will like her again, things get even worse! In the end, Penelope finds out that friendships aren't about luck--and that it doesn't matter if you're anyone's Favorite when there are tons of people who love you. In a book that's equal parts humor and heart, it's clear to see why young readers will count Penelope as one of their Favorites. Look Who Loves Penelope Crumb! [STAR] "Penelope Crumb . . . channels the quirkiness of Ramona Quimby and the detective skills of Cam Jansen . . . Penelope will delight children and parents alike."--Shelf Awareness "Penelope is an intrepid heroine with a unique and frequently amusing narrative voice . . . kids who have outgrown the Junie B. Jones series will enjoy Penelope's equally comical narrative style."--The Bulletin of the Center for Children's Books "Readers will root for and relate to this fresh-voiced young heroine who joins the likes of Ramona, Judy Moody and Clementine."--Kirkus Reviews
Penelope Crumb Finds Her Lucky Stars: Book 3 (Penelope Crumb #3)
by Shawn K. StoutAwful Vera Bogg is Patsy's new best friend! Penelope is determined to win Patsy back. When the girls are chosen to paint a mural at Portwaller's Home for the Aged, it's Penelope's chance to show what a great friend (and talented artist) she is. But then a mean old lady called Nila Wister steals Penelope's paintbrushes, bullies her for treats and curses her with terrible Bad Luck! And, sure enough, no one can agree about the mural, Penelope's in trouble at school (again!), and Vera and Patsy are closer than ever. Can Penelope find a way to win her Good Luck and her best friend back once and for all?
Penelope Crumb Follows Her Nose: Book 1 (Penelope Crumb #1)
by Shawn K. StoutSome interesting facts about Penelope Crumb... She has: A brother so awful he MUST be an alien. A mum who draws body parts (ewww!). Her grandpa's nose ... but no grandpa. Her family haven't seen him since her dad died. So Penelope and her friend Lizzie Maple set off across town to find Grandpa Felix, skipping school, taking trains and calling every F. Crumb in the phone book. But what if Grandpa Felix doesn't want to be found? One last fact about Penelope: she doesn't take no for an answer.
Penelope Crumb Follows Her Nose: Book 1 (Penelope Crumb #1)
by Shawn K. StoutSome interesting facts about Penelope Crumb... She has: A brother so awful he MUST be an alien. A mum who draws body parts (ewww!). Her grandpa's nose ... but no grandpa. Her family haven't seen him since her dad died. So Penelope and her friend Lizzie Maple set off across town to find Grandpa Felix, skipping school, taking trains and calling every F. Crumb in the phone book. But what if Grandpa Felix doesn't want to be found? One last fact about Penelope: she doesn't take no for an answer.(P)2014 WF Howes Ltd
Penelope Crumb Never Forgets
by Shawn StoutPenelope Crumb's best friend Patsy Cline Roberta Watson is becoming best friends with another girl in class, so Penelope decides she needs to win her back. Compliments and presents fail--and Penelope is afraid she'll lose Patsy Cline forever, so she decides to swipe Patsy's necklace and start a secret museum to remember all the people she cares about, in case they leave her too. But stealing turns out not to be the best plan, when Grandpa Felix calls the police about his missing camera, forcing Penelope to confess. Now she's lost both Patsy Cline AND her museum. But in the end she makes a huge personal sacrifice to repair her friendship with Patsy and finds out that drawing pictures--what she likes to do best!--is a way to make a personal museum that doesn't involve any sort of stealing. .
Penelope Crumb Never Forgets: Book 2 (Penelope Crumb #1)
by Shawn K. StoutPatsy Cline is becoming best friends with another girl! It looks like Penelope is going to lose Patsy to Vera Bogg... forever. So Penelope starts a secret museum full of things that remind her of the people she loves, in case she loses them too. Lizzie Maple, who loves adventures, is on board to help. But other people seem to think 'taking their things for a museum' is the same as 'stealing'... and Penelope is suddenly in a whole lot of trouble! Can Penelope win back Patsy Cline? And can she figure out a way to create her memory museum without stealing things?(P) 2014 WF Howes Ltd
Penelope Crumb Never Forgets: Book 2 (Penelope Crumb #2)
by Shawn K. StoutPatsy Cline is becoming best friends with another girl! It looks like Penelope is going to lose Patsy to Vera Bogg... forever. So Penelope starts a secret museum full of things that remind her of the people she loves, in case she loses them too. Lizzie Maple, who loves adventures, is on board to help. But other people seem to think 'taking their things for a museum' is the same as 'stealing'... and Penelope is suddenly in a whole lot of trouble! Can Penelope win back Patsy Cline? And can she figure out a way to create her memory museum without stealing things?
Penelope Crumb is Mad at the Moon
by Shawn StoutPenelope Crumb is not having a very good week. First she accidentally comes to school dressed as an elephant (dress like an animal day is next week), and then in gym class she's forced to square dance. With a boy who is known as Lippy Gordon because of how sweaty his lip is. All the time. Penelope is mortified. And then is extra mortified when she discovers that Lippy doesn't want to dance with her either! When Grandpa tells Penelope that he sings to the moon when he's having trouble, Penelope grabs onto this plan. But sometimes you need more than the moon to fix things. Another sweet and funny Penelope book. Equal parts humor and heart, this is a character not to be missed. Perfect for fans of Ramona Quimby, Judy Moody and Clementine, and for fans who have just outgrown Junie B. Jones and Katie Kazoo.
Penelope Crumb is Mad at the Moon: Book 4 (Penelope Crumb #4)
by Shawn K. StoutPenelope Crumb is not having a very good week. First she accidentally comes to school dressed as an elephant. Next, in gym class she's made to dance with a boy who is known as Lippy Gordon because of how sweaty his lip is. Penelope is mortified. And she's extra mortified when she discovers that Lippy doesn't want to dance with her either! When Grandpa tells Penelope that he sings to the moon when he's having trouble, Penelope grabs onto this plan. But sometimes you need more than the moon to fix things...
Penelope Lemon: Game On! (Yellow Shoe Fiction)
by Inman Majors Michael A. GriffithPenelope Lemon is a recent divorcée, closet Metallica fan, and accidental subversive to all the expectations of suburban motherhood. After ending her marriage with James, a woodsy intellectual who favors silky kimonos too short for his knobby knees, Penelope finds herself, at forty, living with her randy mother in her childhood home. Broke and desperate for work, she waitresses at Coonskins, a frontier-themed restaurant where the decor is heavy on stuffed mammals and discarded peanut shells.Despite the pitfalls of balancing parental duties, jobs, and the vagaries of middle-age life, Penelope pushes through one obstacle after another, trying to regain her independence. Whether fumbling through the world of online dating; coping with a bullying situation involving her son, Theo, something of a gastric wonder on the school bus; or wrestling with the discovery of nude photos from her carefree college days that are not quite as “artistic” as she remembers, Penelope gradually emerges as a modern-day heroine who navigates the assorted inanities of life with verve and humor.Audacious and laugh-out-loud funny, Inman Majors’s new novel holds up a fun-house mirror to the relatable challenges of being a single parent in the digital age. All those who live by the beat of their own drum gain a coconspirator, an accomplice, and a champion in the unstoppable Penelope Lemon.
Penguin Pocket Jokes
by David PickeringHave you heard the one about the man who walked into a bar? (Ouch!)... Penguin Pocket Jokes is essential (and hilarious) reading for anyone searching for the perfect joke. Whether you want a snappy wisecrack or a longer rib-tickler when making a speech, this easy-to-use guide will provide the perfect witticism.
Penguin Problems (Animal Problems)
by Jory JohnHave you ever thought: I have so many problems and nobody even cares? Well, penguins have problems too! Discover them in this hilarious collaboration from Jory John (All my friends are dead. and Quit Calling Me a Monster!) and Lane Smith (The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales)! This penguin has come to tell you that life in Antarctica is no paradise. For starters, it is FREEZING. Also, penguins have a ton of natural predators. Plus, can you imagine trying to find your mom in a big ol&’ crowd of identical penguins? No, thank you. Yes, it seems there is no escaping the drudgery of your daily grind, whatever it might be. Or perhaps we&’ve just learned that grumps are everywhere. . . . This book is sure to tickle kids&’ funny bones and will elicit appreciative sighs from the adults reading it aloud. "We are all Mortimer [the main character in Penguin Problems]." —The New York Times&“Bursting with humor.&” —Kirkus Reviews &“The snark level is cranked up high.&” —The Horn Book, Starred &“Will be right at home with fans of Jon Klassen&’s This Is Not My Hat.&” —Booklist &“Classic comedy.&” —Publishers Weekly &“Rib-tickling.&” —School Library Journal
Penguins Don't Wear Sweaters!
by Marikka TamuraThis uplifting, charmingly told story, tells what happens when well-meaning humans knit sweaters for penguins who've encountered an oil spill.You may have seen the cute pictures of penguins wearing sweaters--but did you know why they were wearing them? Debut author Marikka Tamura answers this question in this colorful, kid-friendly book that is told simply and charmingly. Penguins love the sea. Happy in the dark blue water. But what is this? One day something is floating in the water. Dark. Gooey. Oily . . . When the penguins become coated in an oil spill, many Big Boots arrive. The humans want to help the cold, greasy penguins, so they knit sweaters to keep them warm. The Big Boots mean well, but . . . penguins don't wear sweaters! So after a good, soapy scrub, the penguins dive back into the deep blue sea, happily dressed only in their own penguin feathers.
Penguins Hate Stuff
by Greg StonesFrom the adorable to the absurd, these playful paintings are a penguin lover’s delight.Penguins hate zombies. They also hate serpents, bad haircuts, sock monkeys, leprechauns, Halloween, oil rigs, vampire penguins, and mermaids. They really hate clowns, but they really like capes, balloons, and free vacations.This quirky collection reveals the discriminating tastes of these adorable flightless Antarctic birds who encounter odd foes (snow sharks, beavers, cowboys, samurai . . .), but still manage to enjoy the little things in life. With wit, humor, and the occasional alien invasion, Greg Stones’s paintings capture the playfully absurd life of penguins.Praise for Greg Stones“Stones’s panels have a cool way of collectively turning a grin into a chuckle (and perhaps, dare it be said, into a hearty guffaw).” —Publishers Weekly
Penguins Stopped Play
by Harry Thompson'Completely brilliant' Ian HislopIt seemed a simple enough idea at the outset: to assemble a team of eleven men to play cricket on each of the seven continents of the globe. Except - hold on a minute - that's not a simple idea at all. And when you throw in incompetent airline officials, amorous Argentine Colonels' wives, cunning Bajan drug dealers, gay Australian waiters, overzealous American anti-terrorist police, idiot Welshmen dressed as Santa Claus, Archbishop Desmond Tutu and whole armies of pitch-invading Antarctic penguins, you quickly arrive at a whole lot more than you bargained for. Harry Thompson's hilarious book tells the story of one of those great idiotic enterprises that only an Englishman could have dreamed up, and only a bunch of Englishmen could possibly have wished to carry out.
Penguins Stopped Play
by Harry Thompson'Completely brilliant' Ian HislopIt seemed a simple enough idea at the outset: to assemble a team of eleven men to play cricket on each of the seven continents of the globe. Except - hold on a minute - that's not a simple idea at all. And when you throw in incompetent airline officials, amorous Argentine Colonels' wives, cunning Bajan drug dealers, gay Australian waiters, overzealous American anti-terrorist police, idiot Welshmen dressed as Santa Claus, Archbishop Desmond Tutu and whole armies of pitch-invading Antarctic penguins, you quickly arrive at a whole lot more than you bargained for. Harry Thompson's hilarious book tells the story of one of those great idiotic enterprises that only an Englishman could have dreamed up, and only a bunch of Englishmen could possibly have wished to carry out.
Penguins and Other Seabirds
by Matt SewellPenguins are among the world's most beloved birds. In this enchanting guide, Matt Sewell captures 50 species of penguins and other sea bird favorites like puffins and albatrosses. From the Little Penguin, who is only 13 inches tall, to the Fiordland Crested Penguin, who sports bushy yellow eyebrows, these charismatic birds are sure to delight both young and old.From the Hardcover edition.
Penguins of America
by James Patterson Jack Patterson James MadsenA lavishly illustrated, humorous book from the world's #1 bestselling writer and his son that shows how humans and penguins really aren't that different after all. Penguins--our lovable, cute, flightless friends who are constantly dressed for a formal occasion--have always fascinated humans. As we shuffle through life one day at a time, it's easy to take things far too seriously, but when we see penguins taking a walk in our shoes it's impossible not to recognize how silly we can actually be. Featuring humorous illustrations with captions that show penguins in the day-to-day situations that we've all experienced--from a relaxing day at the beach to a stressful morning commute--PENGUINS OF AMERICA is a hilarious and charming send-up of daily life.