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Please God Let It be Herpes: A Heartfelt Quest for Love and Companionship
by Carlos KotkinHumorist-writer-mammal Carlos Kotkin is lucky in love-if lucky in love means he's had enough horrible, pathetic, and downright bizarre dating experiences to write a book. His trouble with females usually begins upon opening his mouth. Here, Carlos shares his ups and mostly downs of bachelorhood, including romantic conquests with a slew of childhood crushes, insane yogis, a Playboy vixen, a STD host, the flaky, the deaf, and the just plain dumb. His unique mating style is not to be duplicated, but it will definitely make readers laugh-and want to get tested ASAP. .
Please God Let it Be Herpes
by Carlos KotkinHumorist-writer-mammal Carlos Kotkin is lucky in love-if lucky in love means he's had enough horrible, pathetic, and downright bizarre dating experiences to write a book. His trouble with females usually begins upon opening his mouth.Here, Carlos shares his ups and mostly downs of bachelorhood, including romantic conquests with a slew of childhood crushes, insane yogis, a Playboy vixen, a STD host, the flaky, the deaf, and the just plain dumb. His unique mating style is not to be duplicated, but it will definitely make readers laugh-and want to get tested ASAP.
Please Grow: Lessons on Thriving for Plants (and People)
by Alex TestereDiscover the life lessons plants can teach you—from the importance of putting down roots to leaning on others for support and nourishment—in this charming, illustrated guide to personal growth.Every idea, relationship, or project begins with a seed: A seed of creativity, a flicker of hope, an inkling of motivation. In Please Grow, illustrator Alex Testere takes us on a journey through the life of a well-tended plant or garden—from nourishing a seed to propagating, protecting, pruning, and beyond—relating the lessons we can learn from the natural world to our everyday lives, including:Planting a seed is only the beginning.A flower is a reminder of what is possible when the right circumstances align.Extending your roots is like building community--both are lifelines.Compost old ideas and experiences to create fuel for a fresh start.Nothing lasts forever--and in some cases, that can be a good thing.With sweet, vibrant art, ecological sidebars, and a sprinkling of practical plant care tips, Please Grow is a gentle reminder of life's cyclical, ever-blossoming nature. We all have the power to plant our own seeds and harvest our own blooms. So, what are you waiting for?
Please Let Me Help: "Helpful" Letters To the World's Most Wonderful Brands
by Zack SternwalkerZack is unemployed, overweight, recently divorced, and lives with his mother. Whilst a lesser man would wither away in emo-laden angst, Zack has found inspiration during this difficult stretch of life. A renaissance man, Zack conjures up brilliant ideas (soap on a rope, a Sammy Davis, Jr. biopic starring Tom Cruise, vases of flowers in Port-a-Potties nationwide), offers services (babysitter for Sophia Coppola, compiler and burner for a Beatles Best-of), and attempts to woo unsuspecting ladies with his lifelike sketches of firearms. Please Let Me Help is a collection of letters Zack has written to companies, actors, directors, his local police department, Hulk Hogan, Canada, and scores of other easy targets. Some write back; most don't. Please Let Me Help shows how we can turn our weakest moments into creative opportunities and never give up hope!
Please Miss: A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Penis
by Grace Lavery&“The queer memoir you&’ve been waiting for&”—Carmen Maria MachadoGrace Lavery is a reformed druggie, an unreformed omnisexual chaos Muppet, and 100 percent, all-natural, synthetic female hormone monster. As soon as she solves her &“penis problem,&” she begins receiving anonymous letters, seemingly sent by a cult of sinister clowns, and sets out on a magical mystery tour to find the source of these surreal missives. Misadventures abound: Grace performs in a David Lynch remake of Sunset Boulevard and is reprogrammed as a sixties femmebot; she writes a Juggalo Ghostbusters prequel and a socialist manifesto disguised as a porn parody of a quiz show. Or is it vice versa? As Grace fumbles toward a new trans identity, she tries on dozens of different voices, creating a coat of many colors.With more dick jokes than a transsexual should be able to pull off, Please Miss gives us what we came for, then slaps us in the face and orders us to come again.
Please Mr Panda (Mr Panda #1)
by Steve AntonyLearn to say 'Please' with Mr Panda in this charmingly funny picture book. Mr Panda has a tray of doughnuts. Patiently and politely, Mr Panda asks his friends if they would like one. Each animal says yes, but without the all-important 'please'! Is anyone worthy of Mr Panda's doughnuts? "An ideal book for kids to learn about good manners." The Sun"Simple yet funny enough for multiple readings." Kirkus"Does the job beautifully." The Times (Children's Book of the Week) Look out for more books starring the grumpy (but loveable!) Mr Panda. Over half a million copies sold to date! Thank You Mr Panda I'll Wait Mr Panda Goodnight Mr PandaMr Panda's ColoursMr Panda's Feelings
Please Scream Inside Your Heart: Breaking News and Nervous Breakdowns in the Year that Wouldn't End
by Dave PellFrom the publisher of the NextDraft newsletter comes a cathartic and humorous ride through the unnerving, maddening hellscape of the 2020 press cycle, reestablishing the line between "real" news and real life.Please lower your shoulder restraint and keep your hands and feet in. You&’re about to board a roller coaster ride through a year that was at once laughable and lethal.If you&’ve got an anti-anxiety prescription, now would probably be a good time to call in a refill.Please Scream Inside Your Heart is a time capsule; a real-time ride through the maddening hell that was the 2020 news cycle—when historic turmoil and media mania stretched American sanity, democracy, and toilet paper. Who better to examine this unhinged period in all of its twists and turns than news addict Dave Pell, aka the internet&’s Managing Editor? Fueled by the wisdom and advice of his two Holocaust-surviving parents, for whom parts of this story were all too familiar, Pell puts the key stories of 2020 into context with pith and punch; highlighting turning points that widened America&’s divisions, deepened our obsession with a media-driven civil war, and nearly knocked the country off its tracks. Pell also examines the role of technology in society—and how we somehow built the exact opposite of what we thought we were building. Why did the lies spread faster than the truth? How did our tech addiction contribute to the nightmare? Why do you feel a vibration in your pocket right now? In 2020, the news was everywhere, and everything was political—even the air we breathed. So brace yourself as you&’re hurtled through the twists and turns of the corkscrewiest year in American history; one that included two impeachment trials, a global pandemic, Black Lives Matter, the biggest election of a lifetime, a slide towards autocracy, and a warning from the makers of Lysol not to drink their products.
Please Sir!
by Jack SheffieldA NEW YEAR AT RAGLEY-ON-THE-FOREST SCHOOL...It's 1981, the time of Adam and the Ants, Rubik's Cube, the Sony Walkman and the Falklands War, as head teacher Jack Sheffield returns to Ragley-on-the-Forest School for another rollercoaster year.Vera, the ever-efficient chool secretary, has to grapple with a new-fangled computer - and enjoys a royal occasion - while Ruby the caretaker rediscovers romance with a Butlin's Redcoat. And for Jack, wedding bells are in the air. But the unexpected is just round the corner...
Please, No More Nuts! (Penguin Young Readers, Level 2)
by Jonathan FenskeThese silly squirrels are feeling a bit too nutty!The same squirrels of We Need More Nuts! have been eating nothing but nuts ever since--and now they're sick of them! Nuts in milkshakes, nuts in stew, nuts in pancakes. How will they ever be able to get rid of them all? Unless, of course, you'd like to take some off their paws...Breaking the fourth wall throughout the story, Theodor Seuss Geisel Honor-winning author and illustrator Jonathan Fenske's comic-like illustration style and clever, easy-to-read text make this hilarious book a must-have for every young reader's shelf.
Pleasing Her SEAL (Uniformly Hot!)
by Anne MarshSUBJECT: Navy SEAL Mason Black MISSION: Remain undercover...even if it means going commando! Wedding blogger Maddie Holmes is twelve times the bridesmaid and never the bride. Still, being on the sidelines of everyone else's happy endings has its perks, like staying at the luxurious, decadent Fantasy Island. The resort isn't just romantic-it's filled with sinful temptations...like delicious hottie resort chef Mason Black. And Maddie can't wait to take a bite! There's just a teeny problem with her plan. She has no idea that Mason is an undercover Navy SEAL who needs photographs Maddie took that put both his mission and her life at risk. Mason's plan? Retrieve the pics and indulge in a few X-rated fantasies with the curvy redhead...and hope like hell that being between the sheets doesn't blow his cover.
Pleasing the Ghost
by Sharon Creech Stacey SchuettEver since his father died, Dennis has been seeing ghosts. Lots of ghosts. They blow in on the breeze, visit for a while, and fly off again. But one night the ghost of his Uncle Arvie floats in the window. And Arvie wants to do more than chat. Together, they find a lost love letter, finish a special painting, and dig up buried treasure--all for Arvie's widow, Julia. Dennis loves having his uncle around again, but there's still one ghost he's longing to see. Perhaps on the next ghost wind . . . Master storyteller Sharon Creech has woven a wonderfully funny, romantic tale. Arvie's eccentric antics and wonderful word play keep the reader laughing, but at its tender heart, the story reveals the holes left in our lives when we lose the ones we love.
Pleasure Games (Dare)
by Daire St. DenisA honeymoon for one…Pleasure for two!After catching her fiancé cheating, Jasmine Sweet is on her Parisian honeymoon alone. She’s determined to have an adventure! But an altercation resulting in temporary amnesia is more the stuff of nightmares. Then she meets a gorgeous stranger, and her time in France becomes a tour de fantasy! Luca shows her desires she never dreamed of—until their sexy dalliances become more than just a game…“Dare is Harlequin’s hottest line yet. Every book should come with a free fan. I dare you to try them!” —Tiffany Reisz, international bestselling author
Pleasure Palace: New and Selected Stories
by Marian ThurmShort fiction filled with both warmth and dark wit by a writer who &“embraces the ironies and the absurdities of the ordinary world&” (Newsday). At the age of twenty-five, Marian Thurm began publishing short stories in the New Yorker, and over a remarkable career, her work has been compared to the short fiction of Lorrie Moore, Ann Beattie, and Amy Bloom. Known for her uncanny sense of the absurd along with her empathy for her characters, Thurm&’s acclaimed writing has been featured in The Best American Short Stories, as well as numerous other anthologies. This volume, selected from her four collections—with stories written over a span of forty-two years—shows Thurm&’s remarkable craft, never failing to reveal both her emotional acuity and her pitch-dark humor. &“Marian Thurm is either a movingly compassionate observer of human foibles or a charmingly ruthless one.&” —The New York Times Book Review
Pleasure Seekers
by Rochelle AlersThree successful women join an exclusive escort service and change their lives forever in this romance by a national bestselling author.Ilene is a captivatingly beautiful supermodel, Faye is an award-winning advertising executive and Alana is a brilliant editor for today’s hottest fashion magazine. Now all three women are caught in the whirlwind of the superrich and famous. They find themselves the objects of the desires of every man—from movie stars, politicians, CEOs and rock stars to European royalty—men for whom there are no limits, nothing is too expensive, nothing is forbidden.From Manhattan to Paris to Southampton, their new worlds are a torrent of sensual delights and unlimited luxuries. But will they ultimately discover that all the money and power in the world mean nothing without . . . love?
Pleasure Under the Sun
by Lindsay EvansPassion is the ultimate seducer They meet at an invitation-only party in Miami. Desire instantly ignites. Financial advisor Bailey Hughes knows better than to get involved with playboy Seven Carmichael. But the gorgeous, world-renowned sculptor refuses to take no for an answer. And soon Bailey finds herself aboard a private yacht-enjoying days and nights of pleasure beyond her hottest fantasies. The moment he saw her, Seven was obsessed. From Key West to an intimate Jamaican paradise, he's embarked on a campaign of seduction to make Bailey his. With a passion the wary businesswoman can't resist, he's breaking down all her defenses. What will it take to win what he wants and needs most-Bailey's carefully guarded heart?
Pleasured By the English Spy (Undone!)
by Bronwyn ScottEnglish spy Andrew Truesdale has been sent to Florence on a mission--to befriend widowed contessa Olivia di Montebaldi and discover if she's plotting a nationalist revolution in the aftermath of Napoleon's defeat. Andrew expects the assignment to be easy. After all, his job with the British Diplomatic Corps required him to perfect the art of flirtation and become a consummate seducer of women.Everything changes, however, when he arrives at Olivia's villa. Instead of the middle-aged woman he expects, Andrew finds a vivacious young beauty who piques his interest...and his lust.But while Andrew may be taken aback by the contessa, Olivia knows exactly who Andrew is...and that he is dangerous. She may let him claim her body, but can she trust him with her secrets?
Plenty of Love To Go Around
by Emma Chichester ClarkThere&’s a new pet in town! Based on the adventures of Emma Chichester Clark&’s real-life dog, Plum, this delightful romp gently tackles feelings of jealousy and the difficulties of sharing, in endearing, dynamic illustrations that readers will love. Plum the dog loves being her family&’s Special One. So when Binky the cat moves in next door and everyone showers him with attention, Plum feels left out. Cats are not her favorite thing! Binky follows Plum everywhere, even to the park, which everyone knows is not for cats. And on top of that, Binky is so annoyingly clever. Is he the new Special One? Or is there enough love for both of them?
Plot Twist
by Bethany TurnerAn aspiring screenwriter has a chance encounter with an actor who could be the man of her dreams. Over the next ten years, she&’ll write the story . . . but will he end up being the star?February 4, 2003, promises to be a typical day for Olivia Ross—a greeting card writer whose passion project is a screenplay of her own. But after she and a handsome actor have a magical meet-cute in a coffee shop, they make a spontaneous pact: in ten years, after they&’ve found the success they&’re just sure they&’re going to achieve, they&’ll return to the coffeehouse to partner up and make a film together. The only problem? Olivia neglected to get the stranger&’s name. But she doesn&’t forget his face—or the date.For the next ten years, every February 4 is marked with coincidences and ironies for Olivia. As men come and go and return to her life, she continues to write, but still wonders about the guy from the coffee shop—the nameless actor she&’s almost certain has turned out to be Hamish MacDougal, now a famous A-lister and Hollywood leading man.But a lot can happen in ten years, and while waiting for the curtain to rise on her fate, the true story of Olivia&’s life is being written—and if she&’s not careful, she&’ll completely miss the real-life romantic comedy playing out right before her eyes.&“Plot Twist gave my rom-com loving heart everything it could hope for . . . Perfect for anyone who loves love or dreams about meeting George Clooney.&”—Kerry Winfrey, author of Waiting for Tom Hanks&“Funny, clever, and sweet, Plot Twist reminds us that sometimes love doesn&’t look just like the movies—and that it can be so, so much better than we ever dreamed.&”—Melissa Ferguson, bestselling author of The Cul-de-Sac War&“Bethany Turner just keeps getting better! Plot Twist is like experiencing the best parts of all my favorite rom-coms, tied together with Turner&’s pitch-perfect comedic timing, an achingly sweet &‘will they or won&’t they?&’ romance, and the BFF relationship most girls dream of.&”—Carla Laureano, RITA Award–winning author of The Saturday Night Supper Club and ProvenanceSweet and playful contemporary rom-comFull-length, stand-alone novel (approx. 86,000 words)Perfect for fans of Sophie Kinsella and Katherine ReayIncludes discussion questions for book clubs
Plot Twist: A Novel (The Hollywood Series #2)
by Erin La Rosa&“I give it five stars—and five chili pepper emojis.&” —Kate Spencer, author of In a New York MinuteShe&’s written off more than she can chew…Romance author Sophie Lyon&’s ironic secret just went viral: she&’s never been in love—and it&’s ruining her reputation. With a manuscript deadline looming, Sophie makes an ambitious plan to overcome her writer&’s block: reunite with her exes (including her last girlfriend Carla, the one person she could have loved) to learn why she&’s never fallen in love, and document it all for her millions of new online followers. Luckily, Sophie&’s reclusive landlord, Dash Montrose—a former teen heartthrob—has social media all figured out and is willing to help. What he doesn&’t mention is that he&’s an anonymous online crafter, a hobby that helps him maintain his sobriety. No one knows about his complicated relationship with alcohol, and with a family that&’s Hollywood royalty, Dash has to steer clear of scandal. As Sophie and Dash grow closer, they discover a heat between them that rivals Dash&’s pottery kiln. But Sophie needs to figure out who she is outside her relationships, and Dash isn&’t sure he&’s stable enough for the commitment she deserves. So Sophie suggests what any good romance author would: a friends-with-benefits arrangement. Surely a strictly casual relationship won&’t cause any trouble… &“Spicy. Sexy. Swoony. Rachel Lynn Solomon and Christina Lauren fans will love this story!&” —Suzanne Park, author of So We Meet Again and The Do-Over
Plot Twist: an unmissable friends-to-lovers romcom for fans of Emily Henry!
by Breea Keenan'A heart-warming bookish romcom . . . perfect for fans of Emily Henry and Catherine Walsh' Sunday Mail What's a love story without a good plot twist . . . ? 'This book honestly had me giddy' ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐'I didn't want to put it down' ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐'Becca and Riley both captured my heart' ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐*Becca Taylor is having a bad summer. Her best friend is dead. Her good-for-nothing ex is back in her life. And her career is in freefall.So, when fellow writer Riley O'Connell invites Becca to the charming Irish countryside, she can't pack her bags fast enough, even though they have never met.But happily-ever-after isn't quite so simple.And Riley is not a sensitive female romance novelist like Becca assumed. No, he is definitely a man. A hot, six-foot tall, Irish man.But with their complicated pasts getting in the way, Becca and Riley just can't get on the same page. So can fate give their love story a rewrite?*READERS ARE OBSESSED WITH PLOT TWIST:'I devoured this book, literally could not put it down' ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐'Had me smiling, crying, giggling' ⭐⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐'I didn't want it to end' ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐'Delightful, I laughed and I cried while reading it, it's everything I could ask for' ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐
Plot Twist: an unmissable friends-to-lovers romcom for fans of Emily Henry!
by Breea Keenan'A heart-warming bookish romcom . . . perfect for fans of Emily Henry and Catherine Walsh' Sunday Mail What's a love story without a good plot twist . . . ? 'This book honestly had me giddy' ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐'I didn't want to put it down' ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐'Becca and Riley both captured my heart' ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐*Becca Taylor is having a bad summer. Her best friend is dead. Her good-for-nothing ex is back in her life. And her career is in freefall.So, when fellow writer Riley O'Connell invites Becca to the charming Irish countryside, she can't pack her bags fast enough, even though they have never met.But happily-ever-after isn't quite so simple.And Riley is not a sensitive female romance novelist like Becca assumed. No, he is definitely a man. A hot, six-foot tall, Irish man.But with their complicated pasts getting in the way, Becca and Riley just can't get on the same page. So can fate give their love story a rewrite?*READERS ARE OBSESSED WITH PLOT TWIST:'I devoured this book, literally could not put it down' ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐'Had me smiling, crying, giggling' ⭐⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐'I didn't want it to end' ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐'Delightful, I laughed and I cried while reading it, it's everything I could ask for' ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐
Plot Twist: an unmissable friends-to-lovers romcom for fans of Emily Henry!
by Breea Keenan'A heart-warming bookish romcom . . . perfect for fans of Emily Henry and Catherine Walsh' Sunday Mail What's a love story without a good plot twist . . . ? 'This book honestly had me giddy' ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐'I didn't want to put it down' ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐'Becca and Riley both captured my heart' ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐*Becca Taylor is having a bad summer. Her best friend is dead. Her good-for-nothing ex is back in her life. And her career is in freefall.So, when fellow writer Riley O'Connell invites Becca to the charming Irish countryside, she can't pack her bags fast enough, even though they have never met.But happily-ever-after isn't quite so simple.And Riley is not a sensitive female romance novelist like Becca assumed. No, he is definitely a man. A hot, six-foot tall, Irish man.But with their complicated pasts getting in the way, Becca and Riley just can't get on the same page. So can fate give their love story a rewrite?*READERS ARE OBSESSED WITH PLOT TWIST:'I devoured this book, literally could not put it down' ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐'Had me smiling, crying, giggling' ⭐⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐'I didn't want it to end' ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐'Delightful, I laughed and I cried while reading it, it's everything I could ask for' ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐
Plugged: A Novel
by Eoin ColferThe long-awaited crime caper so outlandish, so maniacal, so wickedly funny, it could have only come from the mind that brought you Artemis Fowl. Daniel McEvoy has a problem. Well, really, he has several, but for this Irish ex-pat bouncer at a seedy, small-time casino the fact that his girlfriend was just murdered in the parking lot is uppermost in his mind. That is until lots of people around him start dying, and not of natural causes. Suddenly Daniel's got half the New Jersey mob, dirty cops and his man-crazy upstairs neighbor after him and he still doesn't know what's going on. Bullets are flying, everybody's on the take and it all may be more than Daniel's new hair plugs can handle. And Daniel's got to find the guy who put in those hair plugs--or at least his body--and fast, or else he'll never get that voice out of his head. Head-spinning plot twists, breakneck pacing and some of the best banter this side of Elmore Leonard's Detroit, will keep you on the edge of your seat and itching for more.
Plum Lovin' (Stephanie Plum #Between-the-numbers)
by Janet EvanovichFrom #1 blockbuster bestselling author Janet Evanovich comes a Stephanie Plum novel that takes adventure, action, suspense (and maybe even true love?) to new heights. <p><p>WATCH YOUR BACK . . . <p><p>LOOK BOTH WAYS . . . <p><p>BECAUSE LOVE IS IN THE AIR . . . <p><p>AND THAT MEANS BIG TROUBLE! <p><p>Mysterious men have a way of showing up in Stephanie Plum's apartment. When the shadowy Diesel appears, he has a task for Stephanie--and he's not taking no for an answer. Annie Hart is a "relationship expert" who is wanted for armed robbery and assault with a deadly weapon. Stephanie needs to find her, fast. Diesel knows where she is. So they make a deal: He'll help her get Annie if Stephanie plays matchmaker to several of Annie's most difficult clients. But someone wants to find Annie even more than Diesel and Stephanie. Someone with a nasty temper. And someone with "unmentionable" skills. Does Diesel know more than he's saying about Annie Hart? Does Diesel have secrets he's keeping from Stephanie and the two men in her life--Ranger and Morelli? With Stephanie Plum in over her head, things are sure to get a little dicey and a little explosive, Jersey style!
Plum Lucky: A Stephanie Plum Between the Numbers Novel (A Between the Numbers Novel #3)
by Janet EvanovichLooking to get lucky?Stephanie Plum is back between-the-numbers and she's looking to get lucky in an Atlantic City hotel room, in a Winnebago, and with a brown-eyed stud who has stolen her heart.Stephanie Plum has a way of attracting danger, lunatics, oddballs, bad luck . . . and mystery men. And no one is more mysterious than the unmentionable Diesel. He's back and hot on the trail of a little man in green pants who's lost a giant bag of money. Problem is, the money isn't exactly lost. Stephanie's Grandma Mazur has found it, and like any good Jersey senior citizen, she's hightailed it in a Winnebago to Atlantic City and hit the slots. With Lula and Connie in tow, Stephanie attempts to bring Grandma home, but the luck of the Irish is rubbing off on everyone: Lula's found a job modeling plus-size lingerie. Connie's found a guy. Diesel's found Stephanie. And Stephanie has found herself in over her head with a caper involving thrice-stolen money, a racehorse, a car chase, and a bad case of hives. Plum Lucky is an all-you-can-eat buffet of thrills, chills, shrimp cocktail, plus-size underwear, and scorching hot men. It's a between-the-numbers treat no Evanovich fan will want to miss!