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Prank University: The Ultimate Guide to College's Greatest Tradition
by John AustinBAD BEHAVIOR 101. Forget about Punk'd. Or any of those other stupid hidden camera shows. Executing the perfect prank is an art that demands deft craftsmanship and sly cunning. Whether you're talking about a good-natured practical joke between roommates or an elaborate hit against a nosy neighbor, nothing sends a message with satisfying elegance like a well-designed prank. But how can you, just some regular schmo, become an ultimate prankster? Welcome toPrank University! Here are 100 essential pranks--from classics such as Doorbell Drench and Silly-String Sleep to more modern operations like Quick Leg Shave, Wasabi Paste, and Plastic Forking (you'll have to look inside for that one, but trust us, it's good). Step-by-step instructions and ingenious diagrams make these diabolical schemes all too easy. An icon system denotes prank difficulty as well as the number of accomplices needed, costs involved (if any), and whether to film the event for posterity. Just remember to use this information judiciously . . . you never know when some young jokester (also armed with this book) might be coming after you. With Prank University, jackass class is in session!
Prank You Very Much: A Graphix Chapters Book (Squidding Around #3)
by Kevin SherryThis wonderfully silly young graphic novel from Graphix Chapters about fin-tastic friends is perfect for fans of The Bad Guys and Narwhal and Jelly!Get drawn into reading with Graphix Chapters!Graphix Chapters are ideal books for beginning and newly independent readers aged 6-8. With approachable page counts, easy-to-follow paneling, and artwork that supports text comprehension, these engaging stories with unforgettable characters help children become lifelong readers.It's time for Seaweed Elementary's annual talent show, but Squizzard can't decide on an act. He's too distracted by the fact that it's also prank week! And he has some fin-tastically silly pranks planned. But his friends have a few tricks up their sleeves, and soon the joke is on Squizzard. Can he survive the prank war, or will he lose his crown as the reigning class clown fish once and for all?
Pranklopedia: The Funniest, Grossest, Craziest, Not-Mean Pranks on the Planet!
by Julie WinterbottomPranklopedia is the young practical joker’s secret weapon, a boisterous collection of over 70 guaranteed-to-amuse (or annoy) pranks to be pulled on friends, siblings, and parents. Discover the Homework Hoax, the Squirting Blister, the Movie Popcorn That Grabs You Back. Pull classic pranks on your siblings, like short-sheeting the bed. Freak out your friends with food pranks: a self-peeling banana, “misfortune” cookies, or ice cream that will make them scream (here’s a hint—it involves instant mashed potatoes). And there are perfect pranks to pull on your parents, including a scheme to “freeze” the family computer. The book includes recipes for fake bird poop, fake dog poop, fake vomit, and fake snot (regular, nosebleed, and wormy varieties). A complete prankster’s guide, Pranklopedia also provides a four-part lesson on how to pull the perfect prank and tells you what to do when pranks go bad: 1. Disappear for a while . . .
Pratt Of The Argus: (Henry Pratt) (Henry Pratt #4)
by David NobbsHenry Pratt, back home from National Service, is a man at last. As eager to prove it as he is to please, he is in at the deep end in his chosen profession - cub reporter on the Thurmarsh Evening Argus.As trams and typewriters chatter to the echoes of Suez and Hungary, Henry finds himself in an exciting if bewildering world. His first scoop about a stolen colander is not quite as straightforward as he hopes.Misprints and chuckles abound as ever-hopeful Henry manages to fall foul both of typesetters and attractive women. And, in a profession not noted for kindness to the diffident, he is as prone to accident as practical jokes.Nothing ever goes quite right for Henry. So when the scoop of a lifetime finally comes his way it threatens to upset the family and complicate further his ever-hopeful love life.
Pratt a Manger: (Henry Pratt) (Henry Pratt #2)
by David NobbsWhen pretty young TV researcher Nicky Proctor visits Cafe Henry in London's Soho, Henry Pratt's life changes forever. He becomes an instant star of the TV food quiz, A Question of Salt and before long he is given his own series, Hooray, it's Henry. The book of the series reaches Number Two. He's a celebrity. Henry Ezra Pratt has come a long way from his humble beginnings.But, as usual in Henry's life, things begin to go wrong. He incurs the deep hatred of rival celebrity chef Bradley Tompkins, with his bad manners, bad wig and no Michelin stars. A war is waged against him, escalating into plots and deceptions which threaten to destroy the reputation and career of the man dubbed 'The People's Chef'. It must be Bradley behind all this - or must it? On the domestic front, too, there are storms ahead. Henry is blissfully happy in his second marriage to Hilary, but he is sorely tempted by young Nicky and his lovely co-star Sally. Can he resist? Can he become a real man at last? Or will success spoil Henry Pratt for good...?We last met Henry Pratt in The Cucumber Man. Pratt à Manger continues the hilarious story of a great British underdog.
Precocia: The Sixth Circle of Heck (Heck #6)
by Dale E. Basye Bob DobDale E. Basye sends Milton and Marlo to Precocia, the circle reserved for kids who grow up too fast, for their latest hilarious escapade in Heck.When Bea "Elsa" Bubb, the Principal of Darkness, tells Milton and Marlo Fauster they've gotten too big for their britches, she sends them to Precocia, the circle of Heck for smartypants kids who grow up too fast. There, the children learn adult jobs. William the Kid teaches bill collection. Mozart teaches commercial jingles. And all the students are forced to act, dress, and talk like little adults. Soon, the Fausters realize that Precocia's vice principals Napoleon and Cleopatra want more than to hasten adulthood--they seem to want to eliminate childhood altogether. Can Milton and Marlo figure out their plan in time to stop it?Heck is a school in the afterlife where bad kids go for all eternity, or until they turn eighteen, whichever comes first. As in Dante's Inferno, there are nine circles of Heck, based on kids' various vices.
Pregnancy Countdown
by Linda Randall WisdomThree...Years ago, Nora Summers and Mark Walker had been sweethearts, but circumstances had driven them apart. Nora wasn't ready to risk her heart again with a man as footloose and charming as Mark.Two...Yet now Nora had indulged in a night of wild passion with him. An unforgettable night together that had left both of them stunned. But it was only a one-night stand...right?One...Could she actually be falling for Mark all over again? Could her commitment-phobic lover consider settling down? Nora hoped this was the case, because their steamy night together had not only left her yearning and hungry.It had left her pregnant!
Pregnancy of Convenience (Expecting!)
by Sandra FieldJoanna Deiter knew Cal Freeman wanted apassionate affair. Was this her chance to secretlyconceive her much-wanted baby?Unable to go through with her outrageous plan,Joanna confessed to Cal. Shockingly, Cal went onestep further, suggesting a convenient marriage!But Joanna wanted a baby, not a husband….
Pregnancy of Revenge (Bedded By Blackmail Ser. #19)
by Jacqueline BairdA tycoon seduces the daughter of the man who destroyed his sister in this classic contemporary romance by a USA Today–bestselling author.A money-grabbing beauty, that’s all she was—and Jake D’Amato was determined to make Charlotte Summerville pay. His plan was simple: he’d take revenge in his bed!Actually, Charlie’s intentions were purely innocent—just like her. But suddenly she found herself married to a man who wanted her but seemed to hate her . . . and now she was pregnant with his child!Originally published in 2005.
Pregnant by the Greek Tycoon (The Greek Tycoons #6)
by Kim LawrenceA Greek tycoon tries to win back his wife and child in this classic contemporary romance by a USA Today–bestselling author.After a whirlwind marriage to Greek billionaire Angolos Constantine, Georgie was pregnant—and was sure Angolos would be delighted. Instead, he told her to “go away and never come back.” So that was exactly what she did. Angolos has never seen his son—until now!In fact, Angolos Constantine didn’t think he could have children, and now he’s not prepared to let this miracle go. Even though Georgie seems to hate him, he’ll have what’s rightfully his . . . by whatever means possible!
Pregnant by the Maverick Millionaire (From Mavericks to Married #2)
by Joss WoodPassion flares on and off the ice in this sizzling hockey romance!When a one-night stand leads to a life-altering little surprise... Her profession might be matchmaking, but businesswoman Brodie Stewart isn't interested in finding a husband. What she wants is sexy Mavericks CEO Kade Webb. Happily, the former hockey player is all in for a no-strings night of fun. Yet a few weeks later when Brodie realizes her flu is actually morning sickness, Kade is adamant that they raise their baby together. Brodie barely survived heartbreak before. Falling in love can't be part of their deal. But she has a sneaking suspicion her Mavericks baby daddy is forming a plan of his own...
Pregnant with a Royal Baby! (The Princes of Xaviera #1)
by Susan MeierMarrying for the baby's sake Prince Dominic Sancho has always lived up to his family's royal expectations. Until one irresistibly spontaneous night with teacher Ginny Jones has dramatic repercussions-she's now carrying the next heir to Xaviera's throne! There's only one solution-a royal wedding... A marriage of convenience is Ginny's worst nightmare, but for their baby's sake, she says "I do." And as the royal couple jet off on their honeymoon, she begins to realize that beneath the royal etiquette, Dominic is a daddy-and loving husband-in the making!
Preloved: A sparklingly witty and relatable debut novel
by Lauren BravoPRE-ORDER PROBABLY NOTHING, THE BRAND NEW LAUREN BRAVO NOVEL COMING SUMMER 2024! &‘Lauren Bravo is one of my very favourite writers.&’ Dolly Alderton Gwen is coasting through life. She&’s in her mid-thirties, perpetually single, her friends are busy procreating in the countryside and conversations with her parents seem to revolve entirely around the council&’s wheelie-bin timetable. And she&’s lonely. But then, isn&’t everyone? When she&’s made redundant from a job she hardly cares about, she takes herself out for a fancy dinner. There she has the best sticky toffee pudding of her life and realises she has no one to tell. She vows to begin living her life fully, reconnect with her friends and family, and finally book that dentist&’s appointment. Gwen decides to start where all things get a second chance: her local charity shop. There, with the help of the weird and wonderful people and donated items bursting with untold stories, Gwen will find a way to move forward with bravery, tenacity, and more regular dental care. Dazzlingly witty, Preloved is a tale about friendship, loss and being true to yourself no matter the expectations. Lovingly celebrating the enduring power and joy of charity shops.Praise for Preloved 'An absolute gem of a novel' Sarra Manning 'I think I&’ve been waiting for a novel like Preloved for my whole reading life.' Daisy Buchanan'Preloved is full of sharp observations on life, loss, regret and self-preservation.' Julietta Henderson, author of The Funny Thing about Norman Foreman'Just like that once-in-a-lifetime charity shop find, Preloved is a gleaming prize to be treasured.' Caroline O'Donohue, author of Promising Young Woman &‘Preloved has taken up residence in my heart and I will be recommending it to everyone I know... I'm officially obsessed.&’ Lucy Vine'Laugh-out-loud funny but also poignant and tender' Laura Price, author of Single Bald Female
Prendimi
by Sharon Kleve Maddalena RepettoSage McGuire ha un lavoro fantastico che adora. Tutto cambia all'improvviso quando il suo vecchio capo, il signor Smithfield, ha un incidente imprevisto causato da un elastico da bungee jumping. Daniel, il suo unico figlio pusillanime e buono a nulla, prende il posto di suo padre ai Laboratori Smithfield e Sage decide di rivalutare la propria carriera. Il sergente Carter Morgan del Dipartimento di Polizia di Portland, specializzato nella risoluzione di crimini efferati, con il suo profumo di pino silvestre e i pantaloni di pelle si impossessa del cuore di Sage. Lo spirito selvaggio, gli indomabili capelli rossi e il senso dell'umorismo di Sage coinvolgono Carter nell'avventura più straordinaria della sua vita.
Prenuptial Agreement
by Doris RangelA WIFE IN NAME ONLY?China Dare Smith had always loved Yance Chisolm from afar. Seeing him again reawakened feelings that she had long forgotten were there-and that shook her very soul. When Yance proposed a marriage for the sake of his son, China was overwhelmed.A marriage contract based on convenience was easy to accept. The hard part was convincing her new husband that she planned to cherish him forever and always. And the one thing standing in her way-a pesky prenuptial agreement-was not going to stop China from giving Yance the courage to do the same as she: to open his own heart, and see he could have a wife and family for real!
Prepare for Trouble (Pokémon Chapter Books)
by Tracey WestCatch this action-packed adventure about Ash, Pikachu, and their friends! This chapter book features classic characters featured on Netflix and in Pokémon Go!Jessie, James, and Meowth are on a mission: to be the world's greatest Pokémon thieves. And they are prepared to fight! Pokémon of the world, beware! Team Rocket is extending their reach to the stars above. This chapter book is based on a thrilling storyline from the top-rated animated series now on Netflix. Black-and-white illustrations throughout.
Presas Gigantescas
by Karla Marques V. Elias ZappleNicu - o Vampirinho em 'Presas Gigantescas' (Livro Dois) - Ilustrado! Depois das aventuras de 'Sem Presas', Nicu, um corajoso vampirinho de 9 anos, finalmente conseguiu suas presas! Beleza! A má notícia é que seu irmão mais velho malvado e rancoroso, Adam, convenceu Nicu que seus novos caninos são pequenos demais. Para conseguir presas tão grandes como as de Adam, Nicu precisa beber o sangue de um ogro gigantesco e assustador, com uma pele muito dura e difícil de perfurar. Ah, e o ogro simplesmente odeia vampiros! CONHEÇA NICU - UM VAMPIRO QUE SOFRE BULLY Nicu é um vampirinho que vive nas montanhas dos Cárpatos da Transilvânia, na Romênia. Veja como ele resiste e permanece forte mesmo depois de sofrer assédio moral, conseguindo superar o seu bullying. A história deste vampirinho continua em 'Banhado em Sangue'
Preschool Confidential
by Sandi Kahn Shelton"Laugh-out-loud comments and astute remarks will help lighten any mother's load and keep things in perspective...This is a refreshing look at child rearing, written in short sections that can be read in five to ten minutes a perfect fit for a mother's schedule." -Library Journal So you thought the difficult stage was over: the midnight feedings, the colic, the breast pumps, the endless diaper changings. Just when you thought you'd reached the blissful stretch of parenthood...here come the toddler/preschool years! Only Sandi Kahn Shelton could deliver such a dead-on, hilarious, true-ringing look at the walking, talking, crazy years. In Preschool Confidential, she explores such universal topics as: --Dealing with the mutiny in the checkout line (aka: begging or bribing?). --Presenting scientific proof that toddlers ask 437 questions per day. --Unveiling the four "answers" that any parent can recycle to respond to any toddler's question. --Understanding day-care romances. to ask (at the most inopportune moments). --Dissecting the anatomy of a birthday party (or how to control a group of four-year-olds without ropes or sedatives). --Cooking purple mashed potatoes, and emergency tactics to stave off a hunger strike. --And much more! Preschool Confidential will have you howling at the apt, accurate, and painfully honest look at the preschool years!! "The true successor to Erma Bombeck's throne." -WorkingMother magazine "For frazzled working moms, columnist Sandi Kahn Shelton's funny essays on parenting are a fail-safe way to lighten up." -Wall Street Journal "I'm thankful that this very funny and observant lady is not a cartoonist!" -Bil Keane, creator of "The Family Circus"
Preschool Gems: Love, Death, Magic, and Other Surprising Treasures from the Mouths of Babes
by Leslie MccollomWhen preschool teacher Leslie McCollom created the Preschool Gems Twitter feed, it was because precious jewels were slipping through her fingers every day. Jewels like, "My mom lived in the 90's," “I'm feeling poisonous, baby kitty,” and “OK, but I'm still a dragon. ” Although she swore she’d remember these gems forever, in five minutes they would vanish, never to be heard by human ears again. So she became a covert anthropologist in the underground world of children, and started carefully cataloging them, and has been gracing the Twitterverse with her findings ever since—such as: “When I went to the chainsaw store I saw someone with REAL bubble gum. ” “There's a wolf in my tummy and a porcupine in my bum. ” "I don't care about time outs. I only care about my life. " "Who are me?” “I love David Bowie. I’m going to marry David Bowie. ” Preschool Gems is a collection of the most bizarre, hilarious, jaw-dropping things overheard at Leslie’s school. By turns sweet, sinister, and naively sincere, these treasures prove that kids are really just miniature people who are weirder and a lot less inhibited than their adult counterparts. .
Preschooled
by Anna LeflerBehind the toddler-proof gate of Santa Monica's exclusive Garden of Happiness, it's the grown-ups who are getting schooled.When new preschool parent Justine discovers that the man who broke her heart back in grad school is a dad in her daughter's class, she tells herself she's immune to the superficial charms of the ex she calls "the crapwizard." But when his presence opens a time tunnel of potent memories from her life before motherhood, she must find a way to defuse her old attraction to him before it undermines her marriage.Then there's Ruben, rookie stay-at-home dad and standup comic who quits his day job to pursue his TV-writing dream on his wife's condition that he take her place among the "power mommies" on the school committees.And ruling the sand box with an iron fist is Margaret, whose ongoing divorce from her dentist-turned-New Age-surfer husband forces her to rely on her dubious people skills in order to keep the school that has become the cornerstone of her identity.When the new school year kicks off with a flight-risk rabbit named Ozone, a school secretary in desperate need of a social filter, and some double-barreled committee recruiting tactics, it's not all juice and cookies for Justine, Ruben, and Margaret as they struggle to play nice.Praise for Preschooled:"This book is like a warning. A terribly funny and entertaining warning." --Jenny Lawson,The Bloggess, New York Times bestselling author of Let's Pretend This Never Happened and Furiously Happy "Listen, I grew up in a tough neighborhood, but these parents in Anna Lefler's hilarious preschool novel scare the hell out of me." --Steve Schirripa, New York Times bestselling author and co-star of "The Sopranos""With hilarity and compassion, Anna Lefler examines the juice box from all angles--how do a group of well-meaning parents end up cowed by a preschool that's stricter than Harvard? Read to find out and wince with recognition." --Nicola Kraus and Emma McLaughlin, bestselling authors of The Nanny Diaries and Nanny Returns "Anna Lefler's book is so goddamn funny it made me want to ditch my life so I could read it. Damn you, obligations!" --Laraine Newman, original cast member of Saturday Night Live and the Groundlings, Voiceover Goddess"Captivating and relentlessly funny, Preschooled is a brilliant, sublime romp through today's Pre-K jungle. With a fresh, wry wit, Anna Lefler skewers the ridiculous pretense of the preschool scene while weaving a hilarious and satisfying story that will have you turning pages well past pick-up time." --Jenna McCarthy, author of Pretty Much Screwed
Prescription for Romance (The Baby Chase #1)
by Marie FerrarellaUndercover reporter Ramona Tate was on a mission. But Paul Armstrong, the gorgeous head doctor of the Armstrong Fertility Institute, was a serious obstacle to unearthing the famous facility's secrets. And now Ramona was falling for him! What would happen once he found out who she really was?Paul's mission in life was to run the prestigious Boston clinic and uphold his family legacy. His new PR manager seemed intent on undermining his authority at every turn. Then why was he finding the outspoken blonde so hard to resist? Settling down wasn't on the workaholic doc's short-term agenda. Until Ramona made him start yearning for a family of his own…
Prescription for Seduction (Return to Tyler)
by Darlene ScaleraWHAT'S THE SEXY DOCTOR DOING WITH THE TOWN VIRGIN?Studly Brady Spencer and shy Eden Frazier-a preposterous pair, you say? How else do you explain the good doctor making late-night house calls at Eden's flower shop? The self-proclaimed last maiden in America denies a dalliance, saying, "I'm still wilting away like yesterday's roses," but this reporter suspects that Doc Brady's got the cure for what ails her! There's only one problem: Like a hothouse flower, Eden's saved herself-for one man, forever-but Brady's vowed to remain Tyler's last standing bachelor....
President Me: The America That's in My Head
by Adam CarollaMy fellow Americans,President John F. Kennedy once famously said, "Hey, is that blond intern eighteen yet?" He also said, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country."We've changed a lot since JFK asked us all to pitch in. We've become a nation of narcissistic, yoga-mat-toting, service-dog-having, absentee dads and gluten-free, hand-wringing, hypochondriac moms of overcaffeinated (yet somehow still lazy) twerking tweens. And our government is an inept bureaucracy incapable of doing anything except getting in our wallets and in our way. We've got to get it together, America.That is why I, Adam Carolla, hereby declare myself Candidate Carolla. The tome you hold in your hands is a statement of my intent to whip our country back into fighting shape, to eliminate the "what are you going to do for me?" mentality that has invaded our country.President Me is my manifesto, my vision for a better place . . . free of Big Government, barefoot fliers, lazy hipsters who'd rather "Occupy" than work, and the other things that are bringing our country down. With my cabinet appointees, my list of worthy and necessary presidential ManDates, and tons of great ideas for fixing our health care, education, energy, and even national parks systems . . . behold an America we can be proud of. The America I see in my head.You're welcome in advance.Your future leader,Adam
President Trump: Parody
by Tom Connor Jim DowneyWell, now you've gone and done it America. You've elected Donald K. Trump President and the U.S. will never again be the same! The problem for all of us is that he's got plans, lots of them--the list reads like a bad acid trip: Nominating Bernie Madoff for Secretary of the Treasury; "Trumpifying" the Constitution; making personal real estate deals with Vladimir Putin; staging a hostile takeover of one of America's great news magazines - to name just a few. In this "inaugural" (and wholly fictitious) issue of Trump TIME Magazine, President-Elect Trump promises to re-make America in his own image - and it ain't pretty. Don't like it? Move to Canada, losers!
Press Start Super Rabbit Boys Time Jump! (Press Start! #9)
by Thomas FlinthamSuper Rabbit Boy gained his superpowers when, as a baby, he ate the magic carrot he found in the Wise Woods; now King Viking has built a time machine in order to team up with his younger self, Prince Viking, and prevent Baby Rabbit Boy from finding that carrot—so Super Rabbit Boy has to go back in time, and with help from an unexpected player, save his younger self and protect the timeline.