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Rude Behavior
by Dan JenkinsThe good-ole-boy heroes of Dan Jenkins' Semi-Tough and Life Its Ownself are back in this exuberant tale of football and other excesses. Rude Behavior finds Billy Clyde Puckett, former New York Giant football god and later television announcer, as general manager and part-owner of a new NFL team, the West Texas Tornadoes. His old drinking partner-in-crime and favorite receiver, Shake Tiller, has written a bestselling book, The Average Man's History of the World, and his nearly perfect wife, Barbara Jane, is in Hollywood, making a movie with Shake, who happens to be her old flame. Meanwhile, Billy Clyde's father-in-law, Big Ed Bookman, who is more Texas than oil and is majority owner of the Tornadoes, is trying to lure the old Giants coach, T.J. Lambert, to run his new team. And Billy Clyde has met a bartender named Kelly Sue Woodley, a wiseass beauty who works at a joint called "He Ain't Here" and causes some major marital discord. All these folks are back to take part in some serious fun, which in Jenkinsland means football, plenty of "young scotches," athletic exploits on the field and in the bedroom, a lot of riffs about the stupidity of "gubmint reg-you-layshuns," and the sublime beauty of country music. Hilarious, stubbornly retrograde, and laced with affection for everything Texas football stands for, Rude Behavior is vintage Dan Jenkins.
Rude Cakes
by Rowboat WatkinsWho knew that cakes were so rude?! In this deliciously entertaining book, a not-so-sweet cake--who never says please or thank you or listens to its parents--gets its just desserts. Mixing hilarious text and pictures, Rowboat Watkins, a former Sendak fellow, has cooked up a laugh-out- loud story that can also be served up as a delectable discussion starter about manners or bullying, as it sweetly reminds us all that even the rudest cake can learn to change its ways.
Rude Cakes
by Rowboat WatkinsWho knew that cakes were so rude?! In this deliciously entertaining book, a not-so-sweet cake—who never says please or thank you or listens to its parents—gets its just desserts. Mixing hilarious text and pictures, Rowboat Watkins, a former Sendak fellow, has cooked up a laugh-out- loud story that can also be served up as a delectable discussion starter about manners or bullying, as it sweetly reminds us all that even the rudest cake can learn to change its ways. Plus, this is the fixed format version, which will look almost identical to the print version. Additionally for devices that support audio, this ebook includes a read-along setting.
Rude Ruby: Book 1 (My Freaky Family #1)
by Laurence AnholtMeet Ruby - the rudest of all the relations! Join her for a hilarious tour of her crazy family in this delightful new spin on Laurence Anholt's much-loved series. With the original fabulous illustrations by Tony Ross, these popular books have been refreshed for a vibrant and contemporary feel.
Rude Stories
by Francis Blake Jan AndrewsMeet Mr. Mosquito, drawn from a Gypsy story. He's cantankerous and nasty enough to raise belly laughs along with the eyebrows of the polite. In a story inspired by Australian bush tales, we meet Ella and Bella, two hilarious (and flatulent) sisters. Angelina's earthy wit is memorialized in a story from Swahili tradition.The eight stories in Rude Stories have roots from Japan to Canada, from Africa to Eastern Europe, but they all share a sense of irreverence, and, because they are the work of a true storyteller, they beg to be read aloud, told aloud and shared. Francis Blake's hilarious askew art brings the characters to life in this spicy stew of international stories to satisfy every child's appetite for the deliciously absurd.From the Hardcover edition.
Rudi Hooper's Super Pooper-Scooper
by Alan HorsfieldRudi is involved in the local &“Tidy Towns&” scheme - Sandbar&’s official dog droppings ranger! Can his brother get to the bottom of the rather messy problem before everything hits the fan?
Rudie Dudie (Jiggy McCue #12)
by Michael LawrenceA new drama teacher, Ms Mooney, has arrived at Ranting Lane, Jiggy's school. She plans to put on a production of A Midsummer Night's Dream - and guess who will be chosen to play Bottom? Not only that, Ms Mooney also seems to be able to mesmerise Jiggy into doing things he really shouldn't, especially not in public . . .
Rudolph
by Sam C. LeonhardCrotchety and cranky Rudy--aka Santa--is in a foul mood every Christmas season. He talks to lots of children and even more parents but not with guys looking for dates. Only when his best helper makes him a very special gift does he meet someone to his liking. Kind of. Because that someone is made of flour and spices--and to impress him, Rudy seriously has to work on his seduction skills.
Rudy's Rules for Travel: Life Lessons from Around the Globe
by Mary K. JensenMost honeymoons, Mary knows, do not start this way. Lying outside on the sloping attic roof in Edinburgh, listening to the soft snores of her groom, she realizes that Rudy&’s number one rule, &“adapt," once again reigns. Rudy&’s Rules for Travel takes you across the twentieth-century globe with intrepid, frugal Rudy and his spouse Mary, a catastrophic thinker seeking comfort. Whether stalled in a Spanish car tunnel, stranded atop a runaway elephant, or held at rifle-point at a Soviet border, Rudy has a rule for every occasion—for example, &“Relax, some kind stranger will appear.&” Mary, meanwhile, has her deep breathing and her own commandment: &“Expect the worst.&” The two are a picture of contrast. As Mary was being born, Rudy was a new American citizen flying US Air Force missions over his homeland, Germany. His father was a seaman, hers an accountant. And when this marriage of opposites goes traveling, their stories combine laugh-out-loud humor with poignant lessons from the odyssey of a World War II veteran. So start packing—you&’ll want to join these two.
Rudy's Windy Christmas
by Ben Mantle Helen BaughWhile Santa and Mrs. Claus eat their dinner, Santa sneakily feeds his sprouts to one of the reindeer rather than eating them himself. The result is, uh, smelly, to say the least. Now, Rudy can't seem to stop releasing windy pops from his backside as he and the other reindeer help Santa deliver presents on Christmas Eve. The rest of the reindeer are downwind from Rudy and they are not handling the sprouty wiffs so well. They laugh so heartily at Rudy's rear-end trumpet that they simply cannot fly the sleigh as usual. It's up to Rudy's super-turbo gas to get them back to the North Pole.
Ruff and Tumble
by Lucy GilmoreIt's the most anticipated sporting even of the year: PUPPY FOOTBALL! But this year things get a little complicated when:The hottest professional quarterback in Seattle goes toe-to-toe withA determined production assistant of the yearly Puppy Cup andHer adorably bumbling pack of puppiesIn a showdown that'll leave everyone happy ever after.As a production assistant for the Puppy Cup, Hailey Lincoln knows all things puppies and football. She also knows all things Cole Bennett, star quarterback for the Seattle Lumberjacks and sexiest man alive. But years spent cheering for Cole from the sidelines never prepared her to meet his famous winning grin—or his unexpected plea for help.Cole's entire life revolves around football, but that's not the future he wants. He's in a bind: if he leaves the spotlight, he risks disappointing his team, his fans, and his incredibly tight-knit family. He needs a bit of good PR to help him out, and Hailey (and her puppies) are perfect for the job.But winning at puppy football is only the start. If Hailey really wants to win—the game, the man, and the family she never thought could be hers—she needs to pull out all the stops. And Cole, who's spent his entire life playing a game, has to realize that losing football isn't nearly as catastrophic as losing the woman he loves."AS APPEALING AS A PUPPY."—Publishers Weekly STARRED for Puppy Christmas
Ruffleclaw
by Cornelia Funke Oliver LatschThe beloved and bestselling author of Inkheart returns with a chapter book full of mischief, heart, hilarious illustrations, and pet monsters! Goodbye, earthworms. Hello, chocolate cake! Ruffleclaw is a furry red monster who lives under a toolshed, and he's sick of eating bugs. When he decides to move in with a family of humans, he climbs right into bed with a boy named Tommy. Tommy wants to keep Ruffleclaw as a pet, but it won't be easy. Ruffleclaw makes huge messes--he spits, he drinks shampoo, and he eats everything in the fridge . . . along with the plates! Can Tommy teach his monster to behave? Cornelia Funke's signature touch of imagination and humor delights young readers in her chapter books--Emma and the Blue Genie, The Pirate Pig, and Ruffleclaw. From the Hardcover edition.
Rugby’s Funniest Jokes
by Jim ChumleyWhy is a successful rugby team like a lingerie shop? It has a wide variety of cups and plenty of support. Some might say there’s nothing funny about cauliflower ears and scrums, but this little book begs to differ. Packed with rib-tickling jokes, Rugby’s Funniest Jokes is perfect for any fan of the sport with the odd-shaped ball.
Rugby’s Funniest Jokes
by Jim ChumleyWhy is a successful rugby team like a lingerie shop? It has a wide variety of cups and plenty of support. Some might say there’s nothing funny about cauliflower ears and scrums, but this little book begs to differ. Packed with rib-tickling jokes, Rugby’s Funniest Jokes is perfect for any fan of the sport with the odd-shaped ball.
Rugrats Blast Off
by Stephanie St. PierreThe Rugrats decide to go on a mission to outer space--in their car.
Rugrats in Paris: The Movie Joke Book
by David LewmanWhy did the bugs go to Paris? They wanted to be French flies! When is Chuckie like a bell? When he's a ring bearer. The babies go to Paris! This collection of over 100 jokes based on their latest movie adventure is sure to keep fans rolling in the aisles!
Rugrats: Be My Valentine
by Molly WigandBased on the Rugrats Valentine's Day Special It's "Valumtime's" Day! Will the babies find Spike a special valentine? Who is Phil's secret admirer? Will Angelica or Susie succeed in winning the heart of Timmy McNulty? Find out in this delightful story as the Rugrats realize the true meaning of Valentine's Day!
RuinWorld: Eye for an Eye (RuinWorld)
by Derek LaufmanIt’s every adventurer for themselves in the Ruinlands! Join Pogo and Rex as they set out on a quest to hunt for valuable artifacts and magical weapons across the land. Along with plenty of not-always faithful companions, our heroes must battle dangerous tribes of Toadies, survive giant stone Golems, and stop a catastrophic world-ending disaster, all while evading a cunning gang of thieves trying in a race to the biggest treasure of all time. Cartoonist Derek Laufman (Marvel Superhero Adventures) leads an unforgettable journey as Rex and Pogo misadventure their way across the Ruinlands, facing dangerous foes and fair-weather friends alike!
Rule Britannia
by Daphne Du MaurierSet in the future on the raw coast of Cornwall, a rousing saga of an indomitable woman who takes on the British and American armed forces
Rule Britannia: 'A rollicking good read' Ian Rankin (The\drabble And Harris Thrillers Ser. #1)
by Alec MarshThe first book in a light-hearted historical adventure series set during the mid-twentieth century.'An immensely readable treat!' Alexander McCall SmithErnest Drabble, a Cambridge historian and mountaineer, travels to rural Devon to inspect the decapitated head of Oliver Cromwell - a macabre artefact owned by Dr Wilkinson. Drabble only tells one person of his plans - Harris, an old school friend and press reporter. On the train to Devon, Drabble narrowly avoids being murdered, only to reach his destination and find Dr Wilkinson has been killed. Gripped in Wilkinson's hand is a telegram from Winston Churchill instructing him to bring the head of Oliver Cromwell to London.Drabble has unwittingly become embroiled in a pro-Nazi conspiracy headed by a high-status Conservative member of the British government.And so, Drabble teams up with Wilkinson's secretary, Kate Honeyand, to find the head and rescue Harris who is being tortured for information...Praise for Rule Britannia:'A rollicking good read' IAN RANKIN 'Marsh chomps the period bit between his teeth and relates his yarn with winning gusto' NEW STATESMAN'Tremendous stuff! With the arrival of Alec Marsh's first Drabble and Harris thriller, John Buchan must be stirring uneasily in his grave'STANLEY JOHNSON
Rule Britannia: 'A rollicking good read' Ian Rankin (The\drabble And Harris Thrillers Ser. #1)
by Alec MarshThe first book in a light-hearted historical adventure series set during the mid-twentieth century.'An immensely readable treat!' Alexander McCall SmithErnest Drabble, a Cambridge historian and mountaineer, travels to rural Devon to inspect the decapitated head of Oliver Cromwell - a macabre artefact owned by Dr Wilkinson. Drabble only tells one person of his plans - Harris, an old school friend and press reporter. On the train to Devon, Drabble narrowly avoids being murdered, only to reach his destination and find Dr Wilkinson has been killed. Gripped in Wilkinson's hand is a telegram from Winston Churchill instructing him to bring the head of Oliver Cromwell to London.Drabble has unwittingly become embroiled in a pro-Nazi conspiracy headed by a high-status Conservative member of the British government.And so, Drabble teams up with Wilkinson's secretary, Kate Honeyand, to find the head and rescue Harris who is being tortured for information...Praise for Rule Britannia:'A rollicking good read' IAN RANKIN 'Marsh chomps the period bit between his teeth and relates his yarn with winning gusto' NEW STATESMAN'Tremendous stuff! With the arrival of Alec Marsh's first Drabble and Harris thriller, John Buchan must be stirring uneasily in his grave'STANLEY JOHNSON
Rules For Aging: A Wry and Witty Guide to Life
by Roger RosenblattOne of USA Today's Best Self-Help Books of the Year, the national bestseller Rules for Aging from acclaimed and beloved prize-winning essayist Roger Rosenblatt, is a witty and humorous guide about the trials and tribulations of getting older.Acclaimed and beloved prize-winning essayist Roger Rosenblatt has commented on most of the trends and events of our time. His columns in Time magazine and his commentaries on PBS's News Hour with Jim Lehrer have made him a household word and a trusted friend of millions. With a wry sense of humor and inimitable wit, Rosenblatt offers here guidelines for aging that are both easy to understand and, more importantly, easy to implement. More and more in the news today, we are hearing about phenomenal advances in the "fight against aging." But what Rosenblatt suggests to combat age is far more valuable than any scientific breakthrough ??—?? he breaks down the hardest part of aging, the mental anguish of growing older with fifty-four gems of funny, brilliant, wise, indispensable advice.A book to savor, a book to keep, and a book for all ages. This little guide is intended for people who wish to age successfully, or at all. . .
Rules for Ghosting: A Novel
by Shelly Jay ShoreTo save his family's failing funeral home—and his own chance at a queer love story—a reluctant clairvoyant must embrace the gift he long ignored in this poignant and tender debut.&“Part romance, part ghost story, part Jewish family epic, Rules for Ghosting is a meditation on life, death, and healing that is at turns bitingly funny and deeply moving. Shelly Jay Shore is an immense talent.&”—Anita Kelly, author of Love & Other Disasters Ezra Friedman sees ghosts, which made growing up in a funeral home complicated. It might have been easier if his grandfather&’s ghost didn&’t give him scathing looks of disapproval as he went through a second, HRT-induced puberty, or if he didn&’t have the pressure of all those relatives—living and dead—judging every choice he makes. It&’s no wonder that Ezra runs as far away from the family business as humanly possible. But when the floor of his dream job drops out from under him and his mother uses the family Passover seder to tell everyone she&’s running off with the rabbi&’s wife, Ezra finds himself back in the thick of it. With his parents&’ marriage imploding and the Friedman Family Memorial Chapel on the brink of financial ruin, Ezra agrees to step into his mother&’s shoes and help out . . . which means long days surrounded by ghosts that no one else can see. And then there&’s his unfortunate crush on Jonathan, the handsome funeral home volunteer . . . who just happens to live downstairs from Ezra&’s new apartment . . . and the appearance of the ghost of Jonathan&’s gone-too-soon husband, Ben, who is breaking every spectral rule that Ezra knows. Because Ben can speak. He can move. And as Ezra tries to keep his family together and his heart from getting broken, he realizes that there&’s more than one way to be haunted—and more than one way to become a ghost.
Rules for Modern Life: A Connoisseur's Survival Guide
by Sir David TangDo gentlemen wear shorts? What are the rules regarding interior decor in a high-security prison? Is it ever acceptable to send Valentine's cards to one's pets?The twenty-first century is an age of innumerable social conundrums. Around every corner lies a potential faux pas waiting to happen. But if you've ever struggled for the right response to an unwelcome gift or floundered for conversation at the dinner party from hell, fear not: help is at hand.In Rules for Modern Life, Sir David Tang, resident agony uncle at the Financial Times, delivers a satirical masterclass in navigating the social niceties of modern life. Whether you're unsure of the etiquette of doggy bags or wondering whether a massage room in your second home would be de trop, Sir David has the answer to all your social anxieties - and much more besides.