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Rotten School #16: Dumb Clucks
by R. L. Stine Trip ParkBuffalo wings of steel! Just how stupid is Stupid Chicken? Bernie Bridges thinks the superfowl cartoon character is a dumb cluck! And the same goes for his chirpy sidekick, Little Cluck-Cluck. But why not make a buck from a cluck? Bernie tries to sell Stupid Chicken T-shirts to his pals. One problem--half the school hates Stupid Chicken. Their hero is Drastic Duck, the Caped Quacker. Now Bernie finds himself caught in the middle of the battle between the Clucks and the Quacks!
Rotten School #1: The Big Blueberry Barf-Off! (Rotten School #1)
by R. L. Stine Trip ParkBernie Bridges Rules the School! He convinced the cafeteria lady that a Milky Way bar is a vegetable. He got the coach to make giving wedgies an offical school sport. Bernie always has a plan. But how will he get spoiled rich kid Sherman Oaks to give him his watch--the one that tells time, plays DVDs, and pops popcorn? Hint: It involves a contest, 25 blueberry pies, and a gallon of barf! Warning! Don't read this book after lunch!
Rotten School #2: The Great Smelling Bee
by R. L. Stine Trip ParkSherman Oaks Is A Rat. Sherman is so spoiled and rich that he threw away his allowance because some of the hundred-dollar bills were wrinkled! He and his goody-goody friends and Nyce House are always trying to get Bernie Bridges and his Rotten House buddies into trouble. Well Bernie's in big trouble now. Bernie has a dog in his room, Sherman know it -- and there are NO PETS ALLOWED at Rotten School! Bernie has to find a way to hide Gassy, his dog. But the dog stinks. Hey, why do you think they call him Gassy?
Rotten School #3: The Good, the Bad and the Very Slimy
by R. L. Stine Trip ParkApril-May June Loves Bernie Bridges . . . she just doesn't know it yet. She's the coolest hottest girl in the school and Bernie thinks she should go to the dance with him. April-May won't even be seen with Bernie because he's such a troublemaker. So Bernie makes her a promise--a really scary promise. He says he'll stay out of trouble for a whole week if she promises to go to the dance with him. Bernie is shaking, quivering, quaking. Can he turn into a goody-goody--especially when it's time for the famous (against the rules!) super slimy slug race?
Rotten School #3: The Good, the Bad and the Very Slimy
by R. L. Stine Trip ParkApril-May June Loves Bernie Bridges . . . she just doesn't know it yet.She's the coolest hottest girl in the school and Bernie thinks she should go to the dance with him.April-May won't even be seen with Bernie because he's such a troublemaker.So Bernie makes her a promise--a really scary promise. He says he'll stay out of trouble for a whole week if she promises to go to the dance with him.Bernie is shaking, quivering, quaking. Can he turn into a goody-goody--especially when it's time for the famous (against the rules!) super slimy slug race?
Rotten School #4: Lose, Team, Lose!
by R. L. Stine Trip ParkJennifer Ecch is so tough... She's at Rotten School on an Arm Wrestling scholarship! Bernie Bridges calls her Nightmare Girl. But she'll do anything to get him to be her boyfriend. That's why she joined the all-boys football team. With Jennifer playing, they can't lose. But wait. If they win, they have to play the National Champion team -- the Bone Breakers! Someone's got to stop the attack of the Ecch -- or else Bernie and his teammates will be in the hospital by halftime!
Rotten School #5: Shake, Rattle, and Hurl!
by R. L. Stine Trip ParkChipmunk is so shy... He inhales when he sneezes! He even blushes when he's asleep! He plays guitar in the closet so he won't disturb anyone. But he just may be the best rock 'n' roll guitarist of all time! And Bernie Bridges needs him to win the annual Talent Contest for Rotten House. Bernie will do anything to keep the prize away from Sherman Oaks and his pals at Nyce House. Can Chipmunk conquer his stage fright and win? Or -- when Bernie pushes him onstage, will it be Shake, Rattle, and HURL?!
Rotten School #6: The Heinie Prize
by R. L. Stine Trip ParkIs Belzer a loser? Just because he wears T-shirts that say I need a Tutor and Ask Me About My Allergies? Just because he picks scabs off his knees and eats them? Belzer's parents think he's a loser. They want to take him out of Rotten School. Every year Mrs. Heinie awards the Heinie Prize to the Most Outstanding Fourth Grader. Bernie Bridges wants Belzer to win the Heinie. Then his parents will have to let him stay. But that spoiled rich kid Sherman Oaks wants to win the Heinie, too. Can Bernie pull off a miracle? Will Belzer be the royal Heinie?
Rotten School #7: Dudes, the School Is Haunted!
by R. L. Stine Trip ParkJoe Sweety is the worst kind of bully -- big, mean, and always ready to use his fists. Chipmunk is the shiest, clumsiest kid at Rotten School. When Chipmunk is paired with Joe on the class trip, things get ugly -- and fast! Chipmunk spills his apple juice on Joe, he barfs on Joe, and he pulls down Joe's pants. All accidents, of course. But does Joe care? No way! He is out to get Chipmunk! Bernie Bridges can't stand to see Chipmunk, one of his Rotten House guys, bullied by big, mean Sweety. So it's payback time -- and Bernie has a spook-tacular plan. It turns out that Sweety is scared of ghosts. Petrified! Bernie decides it's time for the Haunting of Joe -- with spooky messages on the computer, green protoplasm in his room, and a body-wrap in an eerie cocoon. Will Bernie's payback work? Will it scare Joe into niceness?
Rotten School #8: The Teacher from Heck
by R. L. Stine Trip ParkIs Mrs. Heinie Gone Forever? Mrs. Heinie is so nearsighted, she can't find her nose without her glasses on! But she doesn't have to see to know that Bernie Bridges and his Rotten House buddies are up to no good. Cuz they're ALWAYS up to no good! Mrs. H. decides she can't take it anymore! She's replaced by a teacher named Mr. Skruloose. He's the Teacher from HECK! He's so strict, he won't let kids SNEEZE! And he gives four hours of homework every night! Mr. Skruloose HAS to go. The annual Water War is under way. Who has time for homework? Can Bernie think up a scheme to bring Mrs. Heinie back? Does a weasel have lips?
Rotten School #9: Party Poopers
by R. L. Stine Trip ParkBernie Bridges has it all figured out. April-May June--the hottest girl in the fourth grade--will ask him to the annual girl-invite-boy school dance. They'll dance the night away, and April-May June will totally fall for him. There's only one problem: Reality. April-May June doesn't WANT to go with Bernie. She wouldn't go with Bernie even if he was the last guy on earth. Then Jennifer Ecch--the Nightmare Girl--swoops in and asks Bernie to the dance. Yuck! How can he shake the unshakable Ecch? Bernie has a plan. He'll convince Jennifer that he is lower than toe fungus and not worthy enough to go to the dance with her. But love is blind. Jennifer loves Bernie--no matter what. So Bernie has no choice. The time has come to hold a long-distance snot-blowing contest right in front of Jennifer. That should be gross enough to get Jennifer out of his life--shouldn't it?
Rotten Teeth
by Laura SimmsSpeaking in front of the class isn't easy for small people like Melissa Herman. Especially when there's nothing very special to say about her house or her family or herself. But with the help of her older brother, Melissa borrows a bottle from her father's dental office to take to show and tell. The teacher is appalled, but the children are intrigued. David Catrow's hilariously zany illustrations reveal that there is nothing ordinary about Melissa Herman, or her house or her family. The bright artwork is laugh-aloud funny and will have children begging to hear the story again, or maybe invent their very own tale.
Rotten!: Vultures, Beetles, Slime, and Nature's Other Decomposers
by Anita SanchezA funny and fact-filled look at decomposition in all of its slimy glory, illustrated with dazzling full-color art by Gilbert Ford. Vultures, fungi, dung beetles, and more aid in this fascinating and sometimes smelly aspect of the life cycle that’s right under our noses.What’s that terrible smell? It’s the revolting scent of rot. But being rotten isn’t necessarily bad. If nothing ever rotted, nothing new could live.Decomposition may seem like the last stop on the food chain, but it’s just the beginning. When dead plants and animals decay, they give life to a host of other creatures, and each one helps ecosystems thrive.Decomposition happens in the forest, the ocean—even in your stomach and between your teeth! From vultures and sharks to bacteria, maggots, mushrooms, and more, discover the dirty rotten truth about one of nature’s most fascinating processes.
Rouge: A Novel
by Mona AwadFrom the critically acclaimed author of Bunny comes a horror-tinted, gothic fairy tale about a lonely dress shop clerk whose mother&’s unexpected death sends her down a treacherous path in pursuit of youth and beauty. Can she escape her mother&’s fate and find a connection that is more than skin deep?A Most Anticipated Book of 2023 in The Guardian,Bustle, The Millions, LitHub, TOR, Good Housekeeping, Our Culture Mag, and more!'[A] biting satire on the beauty industry' The Guardian 'Awad is a genius, preternaturally gifted at creating vicious, hilarious tales about the depravity inside us.' Vulture"A brilliant, biting critique of western beauty standards as well as a soaring, phantasmagoric, Angela Carter-esque fairy tale about trauma and the loss of self. Rouge is deeply unsettling, funny, obsessive, and unlike anything I've read. A truly mesmerizing read." Paul Tremblay, author of The Cabin at the End of the World For as long as she can remember, Belle has been insidiously obsessed with her skin and skincare videos. When her estranged mother Noelle mysteriously dies, Belle finds herself back in Southern California, dealing with her mother&’s considerable debts and grappling with lingering questions about her death. The stakes escalate when a strange woman in red appears at the funeral, offering a tantalizing clue about her mother&’s demise, followed by a cryptic video about a transformative spa experience. With the help of a pair of red shoes, Belle is lured into the barbed embrace of La Maison de Méduse, the same lavish, culty spa to which her mother was devoted. There, Belle discovers the frightening secret behind her (and her mother&’s) obsession with the mirror—and the great shimmering depths (and demons) that lurk on the other side of the glass.Snow White meets Eyes Wide Shut in this surreal descent into the dark side of beauty, envy, grief, and the complicated love between mothers and daughters. With black humor and seductive horror, ROUGE explores the cult-like nature of the beauty industry—as well as the danger of internalizing its pitiless gaze. Brimming with California sunshine and blood-red rose petals, ROUGE holds up a warped mirror to our relationship with mortality, our collective fixation with the surface, and the wondrous, deep longing that might lie beneath. "Rouge is a fever dream—a brilliant, intense, unforgettable horror story about a beauty cult with a deeply moving mother-daughter story at its core. Mona Awad&’s signature and singular imagination and black humor and empathy are on full display here, and her wild-ride of a tale is masterfully grounded in the emotional devastation of childhood and grief. I loved every word of this." Laura Zigman, author of Small World "There is nobody else like Mona Awad, daring enough to plunge her hands—rings and all—into the viscera of story and discover an unsettling beauty within. ROUGE is her most magnetic work yet, a thrilling dystopian romp that knows that beneath the glossy, aspirational veneer of self-care lurks the same old gothic abyss." Alexandra Kleeman, author of Something New Under the Sun "Unsettling, whimsical, and moving, Rouge is an authentic, innovative kind of narrative magic that's both surreal and absolute. A striking novel of incandescence and heart." Iain Reid, author of I'm Thinking of Ending Things &“Awad&’s latest is a dreamy (or perhaps nightmarish) gothic fairy tale about a mother, a daughter, and their shared obsession with their own beauty. Like all
Rough & Ready (Lightning #3)
by Tracy WolffSparks fly between a football pro and an ex-WNBA player. But he needs to prove that he’s more than a sports hero if he wants it all in this steamy standalone from the New York Times bestselling author of Down & Dirty and Hot & Heavy. Tanner: I may be a baller, but I’ve always tried to do the right thing. Maybe it’s because I’ve been in charge of my four younger sisters for half my life, or because I understand how important it is to be a role model—something I learned from my grandfather, a Southern Baptist preacher who marched with Martin Luther King, Jr. Either way, my pro football career makes it easier to give back, so when a local rec center needs help, I do my best to even the playing field. And not just because Elara Vance, the smoking hot ex-WNBA player who runs the place, has me looking to score off the field. Elara: Before I got sidelined by an injury, my time on the court taught me that pro athletes are all flash and no substance. Sure, Tanner Green talks a good game and wields a big checkbook, but I’m not buying the whole good guy routine. Still, it’s hard to miss all the good he’s doing for my rec center and even harder to ignore the way one look from him makes me tremble in all the best ways. I just wish I knew if he’s for real. Something tells me a little one-on-one might be the only way to find out. . . .Advance praise for Rough & Ready“Loved it! Finally, a sports romance where the heroine is every bit the unapologetic badass athlete as the hero. Romance needs more female leads like Elara.”—Tricia Lynne, author of Moonlight & Whiskey With their own sweet HEAs, Tracy Wolff’s red-hot Lightning novels can be read together or separately: DOWN & DIRTY | HOT & HEAVY | ROUGH & READY And don’t miss her seductive Ethan Frost series: RUINED | ADDICTED | EXPOSED | FLAWED Or her standalone novel LOVEGAME This ebook includes an excerpt from another Loveswept title.
Rough Around the Edges
by Marie FerrarellaStranded and about to go into labor, Kitt Dawson had to depend on her wits--and Shawn O'Rourke. The gorgeous man delivered her baby with the same gentleness he bestowed on gun-shy Kitt. Then he popped the question!Mr. Rough Around the Edges was in desperate need of a green card wife. And while Shawn hadn't promised forever, and the words of love he spoke were only part of their charade, he couldn't deny the attraction--or the need to brand Kitt with searing passion....
Roughing It
by Mark TwainThese memoirs recount the writer and humorist's scuffling years, during which he beat a path across the American West and all the way to Hawaii. His spirited narrative relates a series of triumphs and misadventures and profiles a many-faceted succession of personalities and locales: the stage drivers and desperadoes of the Great Plains; Mormon society; the mines and miners of Nevada; the climate and characteristics of San Francisco; and the amusing and unexpected traits of Sandwich Island civilization. Twain finds drollery in every corner of his travels, but the sincerity and humanity of his reminiscences provide a realistic vision of now-vanished worlds.
Round Here and Over Yonder: A Front Porch Travel Guide by Two Progressive Hillbillies (Yes, that’s a thing.)
by Trae Crowder Corey Ryan ForresterJoin Southern comedian duo Trae Crowder and Corey Ryan Forrester in this hilarious and irreverent travel guide as they wander about ponderin' the peculiarities beyond their small-town front porches.Trae and Corey will take you from the smallest of small towns to major US metropolises (or is it metropoli? We haven't a fartin' clue!). They'll even cross the pond to sip tea in some of them fancy kings-and-castles places that PBS Viewers Like You can't stop yapping about. From Chickamauga to Cheyenne, New York to New Orleans, Seattle to Scotland—no matter where these two wandering jesters go, there's something to roast, something to toast, and something to learn about what ties us together as humans. Even the most outrageous of us.In this book you'll find:Loads of eccentric things folks say.Seriously well-informed tips on exactly where to eat and what to order in each city.Anecdotes from Corey about everything from "German Mardi Gras" in Helen, Georgia, to eatin' over-priced rabbit in Napa, California.Travel bingo boards and ad-libs for your own adventures.And as many off-the-beaten-path jokes as can be packed into 256 pages!Perfect for anyone who:Likes to travel.Loathes to travel.Any Southerner who's both a little proud and a little ashamed of the South (that's all the sane ones).Any Northerner, Midwesterner, or West Coaster who wants to know what two self-proclaimed rednecks have to say about their own hometown.Anyone from the UK who thinks us Yanks are the craziest folks on God's green earth (cause this book will likely confirm that stereotype, yup).
Round Up the Usual Peacocks: A Meg Langslow Mystery (Meg Langslow Mysteries #31)
by Donna AndrewsNew York Times bestselling author Donna Andrews first introduced us to Meg Langslow as a crime-solving bridesmaid. In her 31st mystery, Round Up the Usual Peacocks, Meg returns to her roots, juggling cold cases and wedding guests.Kevin, Meg's cyber-savvy nephew who lives in the basement, comes to her with a problem. He's become involved as the techie for a true-crime podcast, one that focuses on Virginia cold cases and unsolved crimes. And he thinks their podcast has hit a nerve with someone . . . one of the podcast team has had a brush with death that Kevin thinks was an attempted murder, not an accident.Kevin rather sheepishly asks for Meg's help in checking out the people involved in a couple of the cases. "Given your ability to find out stuff online, why do you need MY help?" she asks. "Um . . . because I've already done everything I can online. This'll take going around and TALKING to people," he exclaims, with visible horror. "In person!" Not his thing. And no, it can't wait until after the wedding, because he's afraid whoever's after them might take advantage of the chaos of the wedding at Trinity or the reception at Meg and Michael's house to strike again.So on top of everything she's doing to round up vendors and supplies and take care of demanding out-of-town guests, Meg must hunt down the surviving suspects from three relatively local cold cases so she can figure out if they have it in for the podcasters. Could there be a connection to a musician on the brink of stardom who disappeared two decades ago and hasn't been seen since?
Round Zero: Inside the NFL Draft
by Andy PhillipsThe must-read comprehensive inside look into the NFL Draft, football's most fascinating and integral piece of its puzzle.Millions of people watching globally, hundreds of hopeful athletes and their families on pins and needles waiting, and billion-dollar football franchises making strategic decisions--the NFL Draft is a BIG deal. Round Zero is a close look at one of sport's most thrilling procedure. As a player for the Green Bay Packers and writer for the Pro Football Hall of Fame, Andy Phillips fills Round Zero with revealing anecdotes and unexpected insights from coaches, general managers, agents, players, and more leading up to and during the Draft itself.This behind-the-scenes look aims to capture the big event beyond its grand pageantry and multi-million-dollar deals.
Round the Bend
by Jeremy ClarksonJeremy Clarkson gets REALLY riled up in Round the BendWhat's it like to drive a car that's actively trying to kill you?This and many other burning questions trouble Jeremy Clarkson as he sets out to explore the world from the safety of four wheels. Avoiding the legions of power-crazed traffic wombles attempting to block highway and byway, he he:- Shows how the world of performance cars may be likened to Battersea Dogs Home- Reveals why St Moritz may be the most bonkers town in all of the world- Reminds us that Switzerland is so afraid of snow that any flakes falling on the road are immediately arrested- Argues that washing a car is a waste of timeFunny, globe-trotting, irreverent and sometimes downright rude, Round the Bend is packed with curious and fascinating but otherwise hopelessly useless stories and facts about everything under the sun (and just occasionally cars). It's Jeremy Clarkson at his brilliant best.Praise for Jeremy Clarkson'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard
Routes
by John OkasOkas begins a proposed series of novels investigating the ancestry of two nebulous characters, Arthur and Morning Black. Tracing their family tree, Okas takes this Alex Haley theme on a detour through the ribald pageantry of American history and culture. The result is a rich collage of characters and American icons whose stories are told in a savory and metaphorical voice ringing with social satire.
Rover Saves Christmas
by Roddy DoyleRudolph the reindeer is being a pain. He only has to work one day a year and what does he do? He calls in sick! Enter Rover, the only dog with the smarts, talent, good looks, and charms to be a sub.
Row Row Row Your Boat (Iza Trapani's Extended Nursery Rhymes)
by Iza TrapaniClimb aboard, read, and sing along with this adorable family of bumbling bears as they row, row, row their boat on a merry adventure in this beloved, reimagined nursery rhyme. Hold on to your hats and get ready to laugh as these irresistible characters rock, bash, and splash their way into your heart. Iza Trapani brings a fresh spin to this classic song with new verses and sweet and vibrant illustrations. Young readers will recognize the song and delight in seeing it come to life as the bears paddle their way through the pages.
Rowley Jefferson's Awesome Friendly Adventure
by Jeff KinneyFrom the imagination of Rowley Jefferson comes an adventure of epic proportions. Join Roland and his best friend, Garg the Barbarian, as they leave the safety of their village and embark on a quest to save Roland’s mom from the White Warlock. Will our heroes survive? Find out in Rowley Jefferson’s Awesome Friendly Adventure! <p><p> And don’t miss Rowley Jefferson’s first book, the instant #1 bestseller, Diary of an Awesome Friendly Kid: Rowley Jefferson’s Journal! <p> <b>A New York Times Bestseller</b>