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Sanders of the River
by Edgar Wallace Otto PenzlerThrilling adventures of colonial Africa from the creator of King KongIn the jungles of West Africa, Commissioner Sanders is the highest representative of the British crown. The health and safety of a quarter-million natives—who speak countless languages and worship untold gods—are his responsibility. Whether disciplining a boy king, expelling troublesome missionaries, or fighting to contain outbreaks of sleeping sickness and beri-beri, Sanders and his lieutenants must be quick, decisive, and fair. The fate of the empire—not to mention their lives—depends on it. These rollicking escapades, based on Edgar Wallace’s travels in Africa, offer an entertaining glimpse into a world—and a mindset—long lost but endlessly intriguing. This ebook features a new introduction by Otto Penzler and has been professionally proofread to ensure accuracy and readability on all devices.
Sanditon: Official Itv Tie-in Edition
by Jane Austen Kate Riordanp.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 15.0px; font: 13.3px Times; color: #000000; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000} p.p2 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 15.0px; font: 13.3px Times; color: #000000; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000; min-height: 16.0px} span.s1 {font-kerning: none} span.s2 {font-kerning: none; background-color: #ffffff} In the vein of Downton Abbey, Jane Austen's beloved but unfinished masterpiece-often considered her most modern and exciting novel-gets a spectacular second act in this tie-in to a major new limited television series. Written only months before Austen's death in 1817, Sanditon tells the story of the joyously impulsive, spirited and unconventional Charlotte Heywood and her spiky relationship with the humorous, charming (and slightly wild!) Sidney Parker. When a chance accident transports her from her rural hometown of Willingden to the would-be coastal resort of the eponymous title, it exposes Charlotte to the intrigues and dalliances of a seaside town on the make, and the characters whose fortunes depend on its commercial success. The twists and turns of the plot, which takes viewers from the West Indies to the rotting alleys of London, exposes the hidden agendas of each character and sees Charlotte discover herself... and ultimately find love.
Sandwich: A Novel
by Catherine NewmanLook for Wreck, the new novel by Catherine Newman—a deeply moving story of laughter and heart, about marriage, family, and what happens when life doesn’t go as planned—Coming October 2025. INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER“Sandwich is joy in book form. I laughed continuously, except for the parts that made me cry. Catherine Newman does a miraculous job reminding us of all the wonder there is to be found in life."—Ann Patchett, New York Times bestselling author of Tom Lake“If you like my novels, you will love love love this . . . . I stand in awe, it’s just perfect.”—Elin Hilderbrand, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Swan Song“A total delight.”—Kate ChristensenFrom the beloved author of We All Want Impossible Things, a moving, hilarious story of a family summer vacation full of secrets, lunch, and learning to let go.For the past two decades, Rocky has looked forward to her family’s yearly escape to Cape Cod. Their humble beach-town rental has been the site of sweet memories, sunny days, great meals, and messes of all kinds: emotional, marital, and—thanks to the cottage’s ancient plumbing—septic too.This year’s vacation, with Rocky sandwiched between her half-grown kids and fully aging parents, promises to be just as delightful as summers past—except, perhaps, for Rocky’s hormonal bouts of rage and melancholy. (Hello, menopause!) Her body is changing—her life is, too. And then a chain of events sends Rocky into the past, reliving both the tenderness and sorrow of a handful of long-ago summers.It's one precious week: everything is in balance; everything is in flux. And when Rocky comes face to face with her family’s history and future, she is forced to accept that she can no longer hide her secrets from the people she loves.
Santa Assignment
by Delores FossenAN UNLIKELY UNION…She was hiding from a stalker—and fromBrayden O'Malley, the man who blamed her for hiswife's death. But when Brayden asked for the incredible,Ashley Palmer couldn't refuse: He wanted her to givehim a child, so his toddler son would live to see anotherChristmas. But forging a frightening intimacy with herex-brother-in-law meant coming out of hiding…andevading the reach of a killer.Now the key to Ashley's safety lay in solving the clues ofa perilous puzzle that only brought her and Braydencloser. But was the combustible desire threatening toconsume them the greatest risk of all?
Santa Baby
by Jonathan StutzmanJonathan Stutzman and Heather Fox, the duo behind Llama Destroys the World, take their trademark hijinks up to the North Pole in this laugh-out-loud, heartfelt Christmas-themed picture book.Santa is feeling old, and being in the business of Christmas for centuries is . . . well, it isn't all milk and cookies. In hopes of regaining some of his pep, Santa asks the spirit of Christmas to give him something for a change: skim off a couple of years and make him younger.But Christmas magic is powerful, and Santa gets more than he wished for. Instead of a fresh new outlook and boundless energy, he needs diapers and a nap—stat. With Christmas only a few days away, the elves rush to teach Santa Baby the basics. But will there be enough time to prepare their new bundle of holiday joy for the job?Funny and spirited, bright and inspiring, and with an unforgettable title, Santa Baby is destined to be a yuletide read families revisit every year.
Santa Baby
by Katie PriceA romantic Christmas book from the bestselling Katie Price, featuring her most popular character, Angel Summer. Angel Summer is Katie's most popular character.We first met her when she was Britain's No 1 glamour model in Katie's first novel, Angel, and then in Angel Uncovered. Now in Katie's seventh novel, Santa Baby, Angel's glamour days are behind her, she's happily married to Cal and hoping to have another baby. But, as ever, drama is just around the corner, when Angel meets her half sister Tiffany for the first time.....As soon as they meet, Angel and Tiffany feel as if they've know each other for years, and before she knows it, Tiffany is working as a stylist on Angel's TV programme and going out with Raul, a Brazilian racing driver who has all the girls after him.If only Angel's sexy bodyguard Sean could be as welcoming. Obviously he has things on his mind, like the kidnap threat hanging over Angel and her daughter Honey. As everyone gathers at Angel and Cal's mansion for Christmas, Sean's defences finally drop. But as he relaxes, Tiffany finds herself in terrible danger....
Santa Claus Confidential: 150 Laugh-Out-Loud Stories from a Professional Kris Kringle
by Kevin NearyHilarious, true stories from a professional Santa Claus! For the past twenty-five years, Kevin Neary has lived a double life. He even went as far as wearing a disguise and altering his appearance. Yes, it is true that during this time, he played the role of Santa Claus for a local department store. In Santa Claus Confidential, Neary describes his experiences working as Santa and the interactions with the clever children he encountered. Some of the many hilarious topics he discusses include: Why Santa never introduces new reindeer to his crew.How Santa can enter the home when it has no chimney.Whether Santa&’s sleigh has safety belts.How long Santa and Mrs. Claus have been married.And many others! The perfect Christmas gift, Neary&’s delightful tales are bound to get you feeling the holiday spirit!
Santa Claus Doesn't Mop Floors (Adventures of the Bailey School Kids)
by Debbie Dadey Marcia Thornton JonesThe hugely popular early chapter book series re-emerges -- now in e-book! The kids in the third grade at Bailey Elementary are so hard to handle that all of their teachers have quit. But their new teacher, Mrs. Jeepers, is different to say the least. She's just moved from the Transylvanian Alps and she seems to have some strange powers that help her deal with these mischief-makers. Her methods may be a little unconventional, but, then again, Mrs. Jeepers may be just what the Bailey School kids need.
Santa Duck
by David MilgrimNicholas Duck loves Christmas, and he is happy to try on the new Santa hat that's mysteriously delivered to his house. But when his friends see him and immediately launch into their Christmas lists, he doesn't know what to do . . . until he runs into Santa himself.
Santa Duck and His Merry Helpers
by David MilgrimIt's Christmastime, so Nicholas Duck puts on his Santa's helper suit and proudly starts gathering wish lists for Santa. But this year, Nicholas's little brothers and sister want to help. Nicholas is not too keen on the idea, and when the overeager ducks try to outdo each other by promising outlandish gifts-the Hoover Dam for the beaver, a castle for the frog- Nicholas gets fed up. And as he tries to explain to his siblings what Christmas is all about, it turns out the kids have a thing or two to teach Nicholas about working together. With its funny text and illustrations, this story will have kids laughing as they celebrate the spirit of the season with Santa Ducks.
Santa Got Stuck in the Chimney: 20 Funny Poems Full of Christmas Cheer (Giggle Poetry)
by Kenn Nesbitt Mike Gordon Linda KnausLaugh your way through the holiday season! Kenn Nesbitt and Linda Knaus will light up your holiday celebration with this book of cheerful Christmas poetry. Nesbitt and Knaus teamed up to create 20 charming poems capturing all the things that could go wrong during the Christmas season, including hunting for a mall parking spot on the day after Thanksgiving, Santa getting stuck in the chimney, eating unusual foods at a potluck Christmas dinner, and more.With delightful illustrations by Mike and Carl Gordon, this collection is sure to bring extra cheer to young and old this holiday season!
Santa Jaws
by Bridget HeosWhile kids write notes to Santa Claus, / Sharks line up for Santa Jaws. / They tell him all their Christmas wishes. / Santa thinks they sound delicious!With bouncy, delightful rhymes, Bridget Heos' Santa Jaws celebrates Christmas under the sea. Every year, Santa Jaws delivers presents to his fellow sharks, spreading cheer wherever he goes. Elfin sharks make toys, horn sharks trim the Christmas kelp, and cookiecutter sharks make sure Santa doesn't go hungry. Get ready for a ride on Santa's sled (pulled, of course, by hammerheads) in this joyful holiday tale!
Santa Lives!: Five Conclusive Arguments for the Existence of Santa Claus
by Ellis WeinerIs Santa Claus real? The range of opinion regarding Clausite existence spans the complete gamut, from outright denial (There's no such thing as Santa Claus) to fervent affirmation (Yes there is and shut up). And yet, after six-point-two jillion (approximately) years of human history, neither side has so far been able to dissuade the other, leaving both entrenched in their respective positions. Until now. <P> For the first time, the thorny question of whether Santa Claus is real is definitively and hilariously answered. Ellis Weiner, the co-author of the best-selling Yiddish with Dick and Jane, gets to the very heart of this cultural and marketing icon whose existence continues to bedevil inquisitive children, befuddled parents, and toy retailers around the world. Using the kind of erudition and reasoning employed by the world's most advanced thinkers (and those people who make up standardized-test questions), Weiner offers five unimpeachable arguments for Santa's existence that are as inspired as they are insightful. <P> But wait, there's more: Readers will learn far more than just whether Santa Claus is real. Weiner also explores the history of Santa, the existence of napkins, and the subtle but crucial distinctions between birthday cake and fruitcake--all copiously footnoted for reading pleasure. Illustrated throughout (for those who get tired of looking at all those words), this book clarifies, once and for all, the truth about Santa Claus. So does Santa exist? Of course he does, you ninny.
Santa Monica: A Novel
by Cassidy LucasA debut novel in the vein of Liane Moriarty and Tom Perrotta, about dark secrets brought to life after the mysterious death of a handsome and charismatic trainer to the elite women in Santa Monica.On the western edge of Los Angeles is the gorgeous beachside city of Santa Monica, where the sun-kissed, wealthy residents seem to inhabit real-life California dreams. When movie-star-handsome heartthrob fitness coach Zack Doheny, is found dead on the floor of his gym, the tragedy shocks the elite community, especially those who’d spent many hours each week exercising with the charismatic trainer. As the narrative flashes back to the months leading up to Zack’s death, it quickly becomes clear that things in this coastal paradise are not as glittering as they seem. Lettie – Zack’s secret half-sister and an undocumented housekeeper for the toned, entitled women of Santa Monica – holds her brother responsible for a horrific family accident, and desperately needs his money to prevent her deportation. Regina, type-A exercise addict and entrepreneur, will do anything to get out of debt and to claim Zack for herself. And Mel – a New York City transplant who finds herself forty pounds heavier and far more cynical than the lithe women of Santa Monica – discovers an electric attraction to Zack that threatens to disrupt his bond with Regina and upend Mel’s own marriage. As these residents of Santa Monica begin to crack under the stress of their secrets, one question hangs above it all: what really happened to Zack Doheny? As addictively suspenseful as it is sharply observed, hilarious, and compassionate, Santa Monica is the rare novel that captures readers with propulsive storytelling alongside emotional urgency, irresistible characters, ambitious themes, and a vivid sense of place.
Santa Responds: He's Had Enough...and He's Writing Back!
by Santa ClausEver wonder what Santa does with all those letters? (And all those cookies?) After a particularly long, cold night staring at nine smelly reindeer butts, the old man lets loose with the real answers to those stupid, whiny, hard-to-read letters from kids. <P><P> Turns out, we really do get what we deserve. Dear Billy, I know you honestly believe that the good deeds you rattled off represent your behavior for the entire past year rather than the activities that occurred during the two hours leading up to the writing of this letter. Two hours of good behavior hardly justifies a new Playstation, let alone a trip to Disney World Your pal, Santa
Santa Rex
by Molly IdleFrom Caldecott-winning author-illustrator Molly Idle comes the perfect stocking stuffer for fans of Cordelia and her Cretaceous friends: Santa Rex!Christmas season has arrived, and nothing says holiday cheer quite like candy canes, hot cocoa, and DINOSAURS! Cordelia is celebrating her favorite winter holiday with her Cretaceous buddies and everything is just peachy--as long as nobody topples the Christmas tree. Oops...too late! This year, will Santa Rex bring her everything she asked for?
Santa Shark: A Great White Christmas
by Mike LoweryHere's Santa as you've never seen him before -- get ready for a hilariously, fintastic underwater holiday story, from New York Times bestselling creator Mike Lowery!Jingle shells, Jingle shells, jingle all the waves! Oh, what fun it is to dive in a sea horse-driven sleigh!While humans may count the days until Santa Claus arrives, deep in the ocean, Edgar, a goofy, toothy young shark prepares for the arrival of Santa Shark! But Lotta, his sidekick crab pal, is not as convinced. Still, Lotta helps Edgar get his home ready. In a race against time they prepare a tasty snack for Santa, write Christmas cods to their friends, and sing Christmas corals! Will Edgar find a way to make sure everything is just right for Santa Shark's big night?With laugh-out-loud humor, puns galore, and tons of holiday spirit, this story is sure to become an instant classic, beloved by parents and children for many holidays to come! So put up your Christmas reef and get ready to celebrate a Great White (Shark) Christmas from our New York Times bestselling and beloved creator, Mike Lowery!
Santa Speaks: The Wit And Wisdom Of Santas Across The Nation
by Dawn Sheggeby Michael Patrick CollinsSanta Claus is real. In stores and schools and street corners all across the country each December, the jolly old elf exists. Santa Speaks is a celebration of all the real-life Santas who carry on the tradition of Saint Nicholas. What is it like, after all, to be the jolliest, most generous, and best loved man in the world? Santa Speaks takes a merry look at the red-clad few who step outside their usual lives each year to listen to our wishes. Thirty different Santas from around the United States, including a cowboy Santa in Texas, a Cajun Papa Noel in New Orleans, a showgirl Santa in Las Vegas, and a pro-wrestler-turned-Santa in New York share heartfelt and often hilarious true-life tales that evoke all the warmth, joy, laughter, and frustrations of the holiday season. This unique collection of photographs and first-hand stories will put a twinkle in the eye of gift-givers and recipients alike.
Santa's Christmas Eve Blues
by Douglas LindsayIn this wonderful bitesize slice of yuletide magic, the very future of Christmas is in doubt. It's Christmas Eve, but just at the moment when he should be putting on his red suit and checking his beard for snowy whiteness, Santa is sitting in his underwear, drinking hot chocolate and singing the blues. Fortunately, anyone who thinks that Christmas can no longer be left in the hands of little people in green outfits, is about to be proved wrong. With fabulous characters and madcap rhymes, SANTA'S CHRISTMAS EVE BLUES is set to become a seasonal favourite with young and old for generations to come. SANTA'S CHRISTMAS EVE BLUES is a 5000-word short story. A cute little story with more than a disturbing truth about what Christmas has become. -- Not The Baseball Pitcher PRAISE FOR DOUGLAS LINDSAY: very nicely plotted, thickly laced with dark humour, with a little bit of everything thrown in - drama, intrigue, humour, mystery, tension, romance . . . my read of the year so far. ? The View From The Blue House on WE ARE THE HANGED MAN funny, dark, miserable, engrossing and as surprising as a Chippendale chair in the middle of an IKEA store. ? I Meant To Read That on THE UNBURIED DEAD Gloriously over the top, very bloody and very, very funny. ? Daily Telegraph on THE BARBER SURGEON'S HAIRSHIRT Lindsay's burlesque thrills offer no sex, no drugs, no desperation to be cool. Just straightforward adult story; fantastic plot, classic timing and gleeful delight in the grotesque. With more talent than Irvine Welsh could dream of, Lindsay has crafted a macabre masterpiece where content lives up to style. ? What's On on THE BARBER SURGEON'S HAIRSHIRT This chilling black comedy unfolds at dizzying speed. . . an impressive debut novel. ? Sunday Mirror on THE LONG MIDNIGHT OF BARNEY THOMSON This is pitch-black comedy spun from the finest writing. Fantastic plot, unforgettable scenes and plenty of twisted belly laughs. ? New Woman on THE LONG MIDNIGHT OF BARNEY THOMSON
Santa's First Christmas
by Mac BarnettMac Barnett and Sydney Smith team up for an unforgettable celebration of Christmas.We all know that Santa makes everyone&’s dreams come true every Christmas, but it turns out that he needs a little help getting into the holiday spirit himself. Instead of letting Santa get right back to work after he returns home to the North Pole on Christmas morning, his loyal elves want to make sure he experiences the same Christmas cheer he provides for others. With the perfect tree, lots of delicious treats, and, of course, presents, Santa experiences the magic of Christmas for the very first time.Beloved children&’s book creators Mac Barnett and Sydney Smith have unveiled Santa unlike ever seen before, and as a result, created a merry new Christmas classic.
Santa's Husband
by Daniel Kibblesmith A P. QuachOffering a fresh twist on Kris Kringle, a clever yet heartfelt book that tells the story of a black Santa, his white husband, and their life in the North Pole.Everyone knows that Santa Claus is jolly, but in Santa’s Husband, this cherished symbol of the holiday season is also black and gay, and married to an equally cheery man.In this witty and sweet illustrated Christmas tale, humor writer Daniel Kibblesmith introduces us to Mr. and Mr. Claus, and gives us a glimpse of their lives together. We see the Clauses sitting by the fire at their cozy North Pole home, vacationing at the beach, having an occasional disagreement, celebrating their wedding day, and comforting each other when some loudmouth people on television angrily dispute Santa’s appearance and lifestyle.In the weeks before Christmas, Santa’s husband helps with all the pre-Christmas work, from double-checking lists, to feeding the reindeer (organic gluten-free grains, of course), to negotiating labor disputes with the restive workshop elves. At the height of toy-making season, he even fills in for his busy hubby at the mall to ensure every child can meet the Big Guy in the red suit, and give him their wish list.As this charming book reminds us, Santa Claus can come in all shapes and colors and sizes—just like the children and families he visits all over the world each Christmas eve.Featuring beautiful watercolor pictures drawn by artist AP Quach, Santa’s Husband is a delightful gift for readers of all ages.
Santa's Little Helpers (Little Golden Book)
by Golden BooksMGM's classic cat-and-mouse duo Tom and Jerry are back in this action-packed Christmas Little Golden Book perfect for boys and girls aged 2-5 and lifelong fans of the series right on time for the new film. It's Christmas Eve, but Tom and Jerry still don't get along. They can't even decorate the house together. After a fight over what lights to put on the roof throws them in Santa Claus's sleigh without Santa, Tom and Jerry must work together to save Christmas for everyone. Kids ages 2-5 will love this epic Tom and Jerry Christmas adventure.
Santa's Puppy
by Catherine HapkaHomeward Bound meets Elf in this heartwarming tale for the whole family. Can Chris, Holly, and Ivy help Santa's dog Peppermint Bark jingle all the way home to the North Pole before Christmas Day ends?For 364 days of the year, Santa and his best friend, Peppermint Bark, are inseparable. Santa's fluffy white dog helps herd the reindeer, keep tabs on the elves, and check the list—twice. But though Peppermint Bark asks every Christmas, he never gets to join Santa on his sleigh ride around the world. Until the dog decides to stow away . . .When eight- and eleven-year-old Chris and Holly Kerstman discover a small white dog wedged in their chimney on Christmas morning, they can't imagine where he came from, until he tells them. Peppermint Bark is unlike any dog they and Holly's best friend, Ivy, have ever met: His breath smells of mint, faint jingle bells can be heard when he wags his tail, and he can talk! He tells the kids all about his secret sleigh ride and how he got accidentally left behind on their rooftop, but when it comes to answering the question of how he'll get home to the North Pole, Peppermint Bark is stumped. It's up to the kids to work together to get Peppermint Bark home before the last magical portal to the North Pole closes at midnight on Christmas Day. A Christmas tale with enough heartwarming moments and heart-pounding action to entertain the entire family this holiday!
Santa, Bring My Baby Back (Rock'n'Rolla Hotel Series #3)
by Cheryl HarperA bride abandoned at the altar . . . just in time for Christmas? 'Tis the season for second chances at Cheryl Harper's Elvis-themed Rock'n'Rolla Hotel.After trying and failing at acting, modeling, dog grooming, and a dozen other jobs, Grace Andersen thought for sure she'd nail marrying a rich man. But dumped in a hotel chapel and strapped for cash, Grace needs a miracle—and a job.If it were up to Charlie McMinn, Grace would be a married lady by now. Officiating weddings in gold lamé and a rock star pompadour may not have been his idea of getting into the holiday spirit, but with a gorgeous bride asking for his help, Charlie doesn't mind sticking around his mother's hotel a few more days. Especially if it means getting Grace settled …Grace isn't sure what to think of sexy, rugged Charlie, except that she can't deny the attraction between them, or how good it feels to finally fit in somewhere. Is she ready to give a certain place—and a certain someone—a real chance? Or will she abandon a true Christmas miracle?
Santaland Diaries
by David SedarisA collection of surprising, disarming and 'extremely funny' essays from the internationally bestselling author of Me Talk Pretty One Day (Sunday Times) Santaland Diaries collects six of David Sedaris's most profound Christmas stories into one slender volume perfect for use as a last-minute coaster or ice-scraper. This drinking man's companion can be enjoyed by the warmth of a raging fire, the glow of a brilliantly decorated tree, or even in the back seat of a police car. It should be read with your eyes, felt with your heart, and heard only when spoken to. It should, in short, behave much like a book. And oh, what a book it is!'Sedaris writes with a gentle but unfailing acuity and a keen eye for the ridiculous ... extremely funny' -Sunday Times