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Not Your Typical Dragon
by Dan Bar-elEverybody knows your typical dragon breathes fire.But when Crispin tries to breathe fire on his seventh birthday, fire doesn't come out—only whipped cream! Each time Crispin tries to breathe fire, he ends up withBand-Aidsmarshmallowsteddy bears?Crispin wonders if he&’ll ever find his inner fire. But when a family emergency breaks out, it takes a little dragon with not-so-typical abilities to save the day.With wry humor and whimsical illustrations, Not Your Typical Dragon is the perfect story for any child who can't help feeling a little bit different.
Notes from a Former Virgin: Junior Year
by Emma ChastainBridget Jones’s Diary meets Mean Girls as lovably flawed high school student Chloe Snow chronicles her junior year as she navigates the highs and lows of family, friendship, school, and losing her virginity.I’ll be honest: junior year has been a disaster. My horrible mom is back from Mexico. My dad’s girlfriend is living in our house. Did I mention my parents aren’t divorced yet? On the plus side, I lost my virginity!...and then the whole school found out and I got slut-shamed. Then, somehow, I got popular! But according to some people, it turned me into a monster, and I’m pretty sure everyone hates me now. Oh, and there was the Thanksgiving fiasco, and the prom queen debacle, and the illegal middle-of-the-night drive to the hospital. Want to hear the whole wild story? You’ll have to read my notes.
Notes from a Hairy-Not-Scary Werewolf
by Tim Collins Andrew PinderAn unassuming werewolf joins forces with a teen vampire in this humorous addition to the Totally Lame Vampire series.Luke Thorpe is great at math and terrible at sports. He prefers to stay in the background when possible, but suddenly he's found himself howling at the moon and doing a lot of really hairy things! Turns out Luke is going through a phase. Or more like a transformation. He's a werewolf. How does an average kid whose biggest problems until now have been avoiding the school bully and preparing for his end-of-the-year exams cope with these changes? (He really has to study, not chase cars!) He's going to need help--a whole pack of it. But when war threatens to break out between the vampires and the werewolves, can Luke and a new pointy-toothed friend save the day?
Notes from a Hairy-Not-Scary Werewolf
by Tim Collins Andrew PinderAn unassuming werewolf joins forces with a teen vampire in this humorous addition to the Totally Lame Vampire series.Luke Thorpe is great at math and terrible at sports. He prefers to stay in the background when possible, but suddenly he's found himself howling at the moon and doing a lot of really hairy things! Turns out Luke is going through a phase. Or more like a transformation. He's a werewolf. How does an average kid whose biggest problems until now have been avoiding the school bully and preparing for his end-of-the-year exams cope with these changes? (He really has to study, not chase cars!) He's going to need help--a whole pack of it. But when war threatens to break out between the vampires and the werewolves, can Luke and a new pointy-toothed friend save the day?
Notes from a Lost Tribe: The Poor Ould Fellas
by Declan Lynch Arthur MathewsCombining the razor-sharp wit of writer Declan Lynch with illustrations and contributions from Father Ted co-creator Arthur Mathews.Since Declan Lynch and Arthur Mathews first shone a light into this darkest corner of the darkest living room in all of Ireland over a decade ago, things have actually got worse for that almost-forgotten species we call the Poor Ould Fellas - impossible though it seems.Further confined to their unhappy dwelling places by the drink-driving laws, a new range of challenges have emerged to torment them in a baffling post-analog world, where emails seek to release them from the few remaining shillings that weren't stolen by bankers during the crash.Now they must negotiate a universe full of new words (falafel, bitcoin, Spotify) and concepts (texting, sexting, going away for the weekend, composing a tweet, growing a beard, online banking) that mean absolutely nothing to them. Notes from a Lost Tribe is a hilarious road map through a world of forgotten men and their equally forgotten dogs, who ask for so little - yet it is denied them.And still ... somehow ... inexplicably ... they go on.
Notes from a Necrophobe (The Necrophobe Series #1)
by T.C. ArmstrongThe world ends, life goes on . . . A sharp-witted novel that asks: After surviving, what do you do next?“This is not an apocalypse, it’s an adjustment. There is still electricity. There is still the internet. There is still order. We will adapt and we will survive.” —U.S. governmentAfter twenty years of toil, Russian researchers drilled through nearly four kilometers of ice and reached Lake Vostok, a massive body of fresh water. Unfortunately, their efforts released the microorganisms entombed inside, which nature had managed to keep sealed off from the rest of the world for twenty-five million years.Tiny, aggressive, and lethal, the microbes emerged from the ancient lake and wormed their way into the world’s water supply. Anyone who washed their hands or took a sip of water absorbed these primal parasites and died in a fraction of a second. How do you live when the very thing you need to exist can kill you?But death was only the beginning. The micro-killers reanimate the corpses of their victims. Their swarm intelligence enables them to observe, scheme, and cause a hell of a lot of trouble. Rot and decay forces them to hunt for a fresh host—they’re always on the lookout for the remaining survivors. Then three teenagers, one child, and one adult stumble upon a possible cure—but they have to live long enough to share their life-saving discovery with the world.
Notes from a small
by Bill BrysonVeering from the ludicrous to the endearing and back again, Notes From a Small Island is a delightfully irreverent jaunt around the unparalleled floating nation that has produced zebra crossings, Shakespeare, Twiggie Winkie's Farm, and places with names like Farleigh Wallop and Titsey.a moment, I realized what it was that I loved about Britain-which is to say, all of it."After nearly two decades spent on British soil, Bill Bryson-bestselling author of ,i>The Mother Tongue and Made in America-decided to return to the United States. ("I had recently read," Bryson writes, "that 3.7 million Americans believed that they had been abducted by aliens at one time or another, so it was clear that my people needed me.") But before departing, he set out on a grand farewell tour of the green and kindly island that had so long been his home. Veering from the ludicrous to the endearing and back again, Notes from a Small Island is a delightfully irreverent jaunt around the unparalleled floating nation that has produced zebra crossings, Shakespeare, Twiggie Winkie's Farm, and places with names like Farleigh Wallop and Titsey. The result is an uproarious social commentary that conveys the true glory of Britain, from the satiric pen of an unapologetic Anglophile.
Notes from a Totally Lame Vampire
by Tim Collins Andrew PinderNigel Mullet isn't your typical teenager . . . he's a vampire. But unfortunately, when Nigel transformed he didn't become all broody and interesting, and as for super strength and speed . . . well, forget it! Instead he's got acne, a voice that squeaks, a tendency to break out in a rash (not sparkles!) when exposed to the sun, and absolutely no idea how to talk to girls. When a beautiful new girl moves into the neighborhood, Nigel is determined to win her heart but first he's got to figure out how. In the meantime, he writes about her in his diary and composes really bad love poetry that he will recite to her one day, if he can work up the courage to tell her the truth. Can Nigel win the girl and the respect of his family--or is he destined to be a totally lame vampire forever?
Notes From An Accidental Band Geek
by Erin DionneFrom the author of Models Don’t Eat Chocolate Cookies comes a middle grade novel hailed by Linda Urban as "A perfect blend of laugh out loud funny and real-world heart. ” Elsie Wyatt wants to be an orchestra superstar, like her dad and grandfather. The first step? Get into a super-selective summer music camp. In order to qualify, Elsie must "expand her musical horizons” by joining her high school’s marching band. Not only does this mean wearing a plumed hat and polyester pants, but it also means she can’t play her own instrument, can’t sit down, and can’t seem to say the right thing to anyone...let alone Jake, the cute trumpet player she meets on the first day. Plus, everything she does seems to cause a disaster. Surviving marching band is going to be way harder than Elsie thought. For fans of funny, realistic, every-girl novels like Wendy Mass’s 13 Gifts and Lisa Greenwald’s My Life in Pink & Green. "It has humor, heart, and a touch of romance that will provide ample fodder for booktalks. ”-School Library Journal "Marching-band kids everywhere will enjoy this believable celebration of a life-changing, musical rite of passage. ”-Kirkus .
Notes from My Captivity
by Kathy Parks"Like Siberia itself, this story is wild, mysterious, full of danger—and then, quite unexpectedly, captivates you with its beauty. I was so glad I went on the adventure." —Goldy Moldavsky, New York Times bestselling author of Kill the Boy BandNotes from My Captivity is a sharp, sensitive, and darkly funny novel perfect for fans of Libba Bray’s Beauty Queens and Adam Silvera’s More Happy Than Not.Adrienne Cahill cares about three things: getting into a great college; becoming a revered journalist like her idol, Sydney Declay; and making her late father proud of her.So when Adrienne is offered the chance to write an article that will get her into her dream school and debunk her foolish stepfather’s belief that a legendary family of hermits is living in the Siberian wilderness, there’s no question that she’s going to fly across the world.But the Russian terrain is even less forgiving than Adrienne. And when disaster strikes, none of their extensive preparations seem to matter. Now Adrienne’s being held captive by the family she was convinced didn’t exist, and her best hope for escape is to act like she cares about them, even if it means wooing the youngest son.
Notes from the Bathroom Line: Humor, Art, and Low-grade Panic from 150 of the Funniest Women in Comedy
by Amy SolomonA collection of never-before-seen humor pieces—essays, satire, short stories, poetry, cartoons, artwork, and more—from more than 150 of the biggest female comedians today, curated by Amy Solomon, a producer of the hit HBO shows Silicon Valley and Barry. With contributions from:Lolly Adefope • Maria Bamford • Aisling Bea • Lake Bell • Rachel Bloom • Rhea Butcher • Nicole Byer • D’Arcy Carden • Aya Cash • Karen Chee • Margaret Cho • Mary H.K. Choi • Amanda Crew • Rachel Dratch • Beanie Feldstein • Jo Firestone • Briga Heelan • Samantha Irby • Emily V. Gordon • Patti Harrison • Mary Holland • Jen Kirkman • Lauren Lapkus • Riki Lindhome • Kate Micucci • Natalie Morales • Aparna Nancherla • Yvonne Orji • Lennon Parham • Chelsea Peretti • Alexandra Petri • Natasha Rothwell • Amber Ruffin • Andrea Savage • Kristen Schaal • Megan Stalter • Beth Stelling • Cecily Strong • Sunita Mani • Geraldine Viswanathan • Michaela Watkins • Mo Welch • Sasheer Zamata • and many more.More than four decades ago, the groundbreaking book Titters: The First Collection of Humor by Women showcased the work of some of the leading female comedians of the 1970s like Gilda Radner, Candice Bergen, and Phyllis Diller. The book became an essential time capsule of an era, the first of its kind, that opened doors for many more funny women to smash the comedy glass-ceiling.Today, brilliant women continue to push the boundaries of just how funny—and edgy—they can be in a field that has long been dominated by men. In Notes from the Bathroom Line, Amy Solomon brings together all-new material from some of the funniest women in show business today—award-winning writers, stand-up comedians, actresses, cartoonists, and more.Notes from the Bathroom Line proves there are no limits to how funny, bad-ass, and revolutionary women can—and continue—to be.
Notes from the Fog: Stories
by Ben MarcusWith these thirteen transfixing, ingenious stories, Ben Marcus gives us timely dystopian visions of alienation in a modern world--cosmically and comically apt. Never has existential catastrophe been so much fun.In "The Grow-Light Blues," a hapless, corporate drone finds love after being disfigured testing his employer's newest nutrition supplement--the enhanced glow from his computer monitor. A father finds himself outcast from his family when he starts to suspect that his son's precocity has turned sinister in the chilling "Cold Little Bird." In "Blueprints for St. Louis," two architects in a flailing marriage consider the ethics of artificially inciting emotion in mourners at their latest assignment--a memorial to a terrorist attack.In the bizarre but instantly recognizable universe of Ben Marcus's fiction, characters encounter both surreal new illnesses and equally surreal new cures. Marcus writes beautifully, hilariously, and obsessively, about sex and death, lust and shame, the indignities of the body, and the full parade of human folly. A heartbreaking collection of stories that showcases the author's compassion, tenderness, and mordant humor. Blistering, beautiful work from a modern master. A heartbreaking collection of stories that showcases the author's compassion, tenderness, and mordant humor--blistering, beautiful work from a modern master.
Notes From the Midnight Driver
by Jordan SonnenblickJust when you thought you had it all figured out . . ."Alex Peter Gregory, you are a moron!" Laurie slammed her palms down on my desk and stomped her foot. I get a lot of that.One car crash.One measly little car crash. And suddenly, I'm some kind of convicted felon.My parents are getting divorced, my dad is shacking up with my third-grade teacher, I might be in love with a girl who could kill me with one finger, and now I'm sentenced to babysit some insane old guy.What else could possibly go wrong?This is the story of Alex Gregory, his guitar, his best gal pal Laurie, and the friendship of a lifetime that he never would have expected.
Notes from the Underwire: Adventures from My Awkward and Lovely Life
by Quinn CummingsMeet Quinn Cummings. Former child star, mother, and modern woman, she just wants to be a good person. Quinn grew up in Los Angeles, a city whose patron saint would be a sixteen-year-old with a gold card and two trips to rehab under her belt. Quinn does crossword puzzles, eats lentils without being forced, and longs to wear a scarf without looking like a Camp Fire Girl. And she tries very hard to be the Adult--the one everybody calls for a ride to the airport--but somehow she always comes up short.In Notes from the Underwire, Quinn's smart and hilarious debut, she tackles the domestic and the delightfully absurd, proving that all too often they're one and the same. From fighting off a catnip-addled cat to mortal conflict with a sewing machine, Quinn provides insight into her often chaotic, seldom-perfect universe--a universe made even less perfect when the goofy smile of past celebrity shows its occasional fang. The book, like the author herself, is good hearted, keenly observant, and blisteringly funny. In other words, really good company.
Notes on a Case of Melancholia, or: A Little Death
by Nicholas GurewitchDeath arrives in this darkly humorous and brilliantly illustrated tale created by Nicholas Gurewitch, author of The Perry Bible Fellowship Almanack!Death becomes a patient of a recently-bereaved psychoanalyst. The topic of discussion? His frolicsome child, who has no apparent interest in grim-reaping! Featuring an unfathomable number of lines which have been hand-chiseled into inked clay, this labor of love by Nicholas Gurewitch invokes the morbid humor of his comic strip (The Perry Bible Fellowship) and the spooky silent-film qualities of the late Edward Gorey.
Notes on a Cuff
by Mikhail BulgakovDarkly humorous short fiction set in the early years of the Soviet Union, by the author of The Master and Margarita. A collection of comic, self-aware, and stylistically dazzling short stories touching on such familiar territory for many Russian authors as disease, famine, civil war, and political turmoil, Notes on a Cuff and Other Stories showcases the style that Mikhail Bulgakov would be known for during the literary and theatrical renaissance of 1920s Moscow and beyond. Written between 1920 and 1921 while Bulgakov was employed as a doctor in a rural hospital in the Caucasus region, Notes on a Cuff presents a series of first-person comedic sketches centered on a young writer (Bulgakov&’s semiautobiographical proxy) fighting to launch his literary career despite great personal and political odds. &“A very good place to start on Bulgakov if you haven&’t read any of his work before.&”—The Guardian
Notes on a Marriage
by Marie LavoieFans of Marian Keyes, Elizabeth Gilbert and Helen Fielding will find themselves nodding along to this portrait of a middle-aged woman emerging from the ruins of one life, and starting over again. ___________'After twenty-five years my marriage just blew up in my face. On a good day, I take a sledgehammer to my house between swigs of white wine. I'm a total mess.' Diane's humiliation comes thick and fast. For starters, her husband is having an affair with a younger woman. Of course he is. But what's worse is that he's blaming her. 'You've become boring,' he says. And that's that. Or is it? With the help of her best friend, Claudine, Diane embarks on a journey to discover a new life.Witty, sharp and emotionally rich, this is a story about freedom and identity and how it's never too late to put yourself first. ___________Praise for Notes on a Marriage: 'Writing that makes us fall in love from the very first page' Huffington Post Quebec 'Fresh, funny, and a lot of fun to read' Consumed by Ink 'Wacky, scathing humour, good dialogue and assuredly lively' Le Devoir 'With great humour and tenderness, Marie Lavoie recounts Diane's journey to regain trust in both herself and the people around her . . . A piercing commentary on gender, marriage, and the nuances of self-love' Toronto Life 'Funny and absurd, but underlined with a tenderness and poignancy that will have you rooting for happily ever after after that' Pickle Me This'A great read. Relatable and a page turner, I'd recommend this book' Reader review
Notes on Democracy
by H. L. MenckenWars for "freedom". Fundamentalists intent on banishing Darwin from the classroom. Intrusive laws. H.L. Mencken wrote "Notes on Democracy" over 80 years ago. His era, the years of World War I, Prohibition and the Scopes trial, is strikingly like today. Dissident Books reintroduces this gem of cynicism and clear-thinking to a new generation. Don't even think about voting until you read this book!
Notes to Boys
by Pamela RibonNotes to Boys: And Other Things I Shouldn't Share in Public is a "mortifying memoir" from bestselling author and tv/film writer Pamela Ribon. Miserably trapped in small town Texas with no invention of the internet in sight, Ribon spent countless hours of her high school years writing letters to her (often unrequited) crushes. The big question is: Why did she always keep a copy for herself? Wince along with Ribon as she tries to understand exactly how she ever thought she'd win a boy's heart by writing him a letter that began: "Share with me your soul," and ends with some remarkably awkward erotica. You'll come for the incredibly bad poetry, you'll stay for the incredibly bad poetry about racism.
Nothin’ But Good Times Ahead
by Molly IvinsMolly Ivins, one of our most outspoken, and outrageously funny political commentators (and the author of the bestseller Molly Ivins Can't Say That, Can She?) is back. In this merciless, utterly hilarious book, Ivins riddles such targets as Bill Clinton, George Bush, the Clarence Thomas/Anita Hill imbroglio, and more.
Nothin' Comes Easy: The Life of Rodney Dangerfield
by Michael Seth StarrThe first-ever biography of the legendary comic and the most improbable rise to fame in the history of American comedy. Getting there wasn&’t always a laughing matter. Rodney Dangerfield&’s fidgety delivery, self-deprecating humor, and catchphrase &“I don&’t get no respect&” made him a comedy icon in nightclubs, on television, and in movies. But Rodney&’s long road to stardom was as rocky as his real life. Born Jacob Cohen in 1921 to a coldhearted mother and absentee father, anxiety-prone Jacob found escape from reality by writing and performing jokes. It led to ten years going nowhere in the &“toilets&” of the club circuit. What followed was marriage, fatherhood, selling aluminum siding, and depression, self-doubt, and debt. That&’s when he decided to give comedy one last shot . . . Back in the clubs and thanks to a fortuitous prime-time set on The Ed Sullivan Show, at the age of 45, the newly christened Rodney Dangerfield was an &“overnight&” success. It was the greatest second act in the history of show business. Rodney mined his insecurities, personal and professional setbacks, and dismal childhood into comedy gold on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, The Dean Martin Show, The Joey Bishop Show, The Merv Griffin, and The Mike Douglas Show. A generation of new fans discovered him in a string of hit comedies, including Caddyshack, Easy Money, Back to School—he even popped up in Oliver Stone&’s Natural Born Killers. And behind that iconic comedy persona was a caring, compassionate man who took in a hard-luck friend for the rest of his life; a dedicated father who almost single-handedly raised two children; and a selfless and supportive mentor to such up-and-comers as Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Carrey, and George Carlin. Nobody didn&’t love him. An honest, moving, and funny portrait of the real Rodney Dangerfield, Nothin&’ Comes Easy gives the legend, the man, the father, and the friend all the respect he deserves.
Nothing
by Jon Agee"WHAT'S FOR SALE?" asks Suzie Gump as she walks into Otis's empty antiques shop. "Uh, nothing," says Otis. "I'll take it," she replies. This makes sense. Suzie has everything. But she's never had nothing! And, by the way, she can afford it. When her eccentric shopping habits are witnessed by others, it kicks off a buying spree of epic proportions for--you guessed it--nothing at all. Otis, meanwhile, is left sulking in his shop full of things. But not for long! Ah, the fickle world of fashion.
Nothing
by Annie Barrows“Remarkable.”—New York Times Book ReviewFrom Annie Barrows, the acclaimed #1 New York Times–bestselling coauthor of The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society and the author of the award-winning and bestselling Ivy + Bean books, this teen debut tells the story of Charlotte and Frankie, two high school students and best friends who don’t have magical powers, fight aliens, crash their cars, get pierced, or discover they are royal. They just go to school. And live at home. With their parents. A great read for fans of Becky Albertalli, Louise Rennison, and Adi Alsaid.Nothing ever happens to Charlotte and Frankie. Their lives are nothing like the lives of the girls they read about in their YA novels. They don’t have flowing red hair, and hot romantic encounters never happen—let alone meeting a true soul mate. They just go to high school and live at home with their parents, who are pretty normal, all things considered.But when Charlotte decides to write down everything that happens during their sophomore year—to prove that nothing happens and there is no plot or character development in real life—she’s surprised to find that being fifteen isn’t as boring as she thought. It’s weird, heartbreaking, silly, and complicated. And maybe, just perfect.
Nothing Bad Is Going to Happen
by Kathleen HaleTeenage sleuth Kippy Bushman is back in this murderously funny sequel to No One Else Can Have You, which was named one of Time's Best Young Adult Books of the Year. <P><P>Even more shocking and thrilling than its critically acclaimed predecessor, Nothing Bad Is Going to Happen is another clever, riotous dark comedy from Kathleen Hale that's perfect for fans of the cult-classic film Fargo, the beloved television show Veronica Mars, and teen books like Sara Shepard's Pretty Little Liars series.Just when you thought it was safe to go back to Friendship, Wisconsin . . .After catching her best friend's murderer a few months ago, Kippy thought the worst was over. Then she found her boyfriend at home, barely breathing and clinging to life. The sheriff insists it was a suicide attempt, but Kippy refuses to believe it. And with everything that's happened to her, Kippy wonders if something more sinister is going on. But in a town where everyone has their secrets and a next-door neighbor could be a serial killer, who can she turn to for help?
Nothing Beats a Pizza
by Loris LesynskiThe opening refrain of Nothing Beats a Pizza is catchy and fun, just like all 32 poems found in Loris Lesynski's book. Dancing across the pages are illustrations and poems alive with humor, exploring important things in a kid's world: pizza, substitute teachers, homework, moods, food, and pets.