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Old Guy Dad: Weird Shit Happens When You Don't Die Young
by Jerry StahlOld Guy Dad recounts the adventures of a man who, in the autumn of his years--or at least the pre-autumn--discovers his girlfriend is pregnant. He is going to be a father. Again. Only this time he wants to do it right: no heroin, plenty of low-back pain. A collection of celebrated columns from The Rumpus with new material and never-before-told tales, OG Dad finds Jerry Stahl fighting a terminal disease--not to mention mortality, sleeplessness, and the soul-crushing weirdness of preschool drop-offs with parents half his age. Square is the last frontier.
Old Hasdrubal and the Pirates
by Berthe AmossAn old bayou fisherman tells how his great-great-grandfather wrestled an alligator, rescued a captive maid from pirates, and became the hero of the Battle of New Orleans.
Old Is In: A Guide For Aging Boomers
by Eric NicolIs impotence contagious? At what age should a senior be surgically separated from his automobile, or obligated to donate his sex toys to the Salvation Army? These and other timely questions are among those not answered in Eric Nicol’s latest cure for serious reading, Old Is In. This palsied opus responds to demographics warning that our Western society is about to be engulfed by a tidal wave of seniors. How to cope? Is stoicism the answer? Hell, no! The best way to relieve the stiff upper lip is with a smile. And that prescription is filled, merrily, by Eric Nicol’s Old Is In.
The Old Jewish Men's Guide to Eating, Sleeping, and Futzing Around
by Noah RinskyFrom the viral social media account @oldjewishmen comes a hilarious and irresistible guide and perfect gift for every OJM and the people who put up with him Here is a humorous, surprisingly stylish, and crotchety celebration of a most fascinating group of fellas: Old Jewish Men. In this essential guide, readers learn how to eat, dress, get around town, and schmooze like a seasoned OJM. Ever wonder why Old Jewish Men eat so much cottage cheese and melon? If Larry David and Bernie Sanders have the same barber? Who is the next great up-and-coming OJM? (NOTE: You don&’t need to be old, Jewish, or a man—it&’s a lifestyle.) Plus, there&’s helpful jargon, detailed deli and coffee shop rundowns, and the ten OJM archetypes, from New York Schlubs to Tough Guys to Grumpy Intellectuals. A perfect gift for any Jewish dad/granddad/uncle/brother or anybody who likes a healthy shmear of classic Jewish humor, the book is full of hilarious full-color illustrations and chapters including: How to Exist in This Fakakta World; The Art of the Schmooze; How to Live Forever; and King of the Temple.
Old King Cole (Iza Trapani's Extended Nursery Rhymes)
by Iza TrapaniBest-selling author-illustrator Iza Trapani is back with a fanciful retelling of the classic Old King Cole nursery rhyme for a new generation. Old King Cole has been working hard planning for his Annual Cole Ball, to which all the usual suspects are invited: Little Bo Peep, Baa Baa Black Sheep, The Girl with a Curl, Humpty Dumpty, and more. But he's so tired after all that work, he falls asleep as the ball begins and nobody can wake him, no matter what they try. Will he wake up in time to enjoy his own party?The lyrical rhyming text and playful illustrations provide another fun nursery rhyme update to add to the many retellings of favorite songs for which Iza Trapani is known. Backmatter includes music and lyrics to the full rhyme. Perfect for read-aloud.
The Old Man And Me (Vmc Ser. #549)
by Elaine DundyThere's love, and there's revenge. Betsy Lou Saegessor is bent on revenge. Her father is dead, and to top it off, the vast fortune that should have been hers has ended up, through the second marriage of her now deceased stepmother, in the bank account of the legendary and elusive Englishman, C.D. McKee.So Betsy sets out from New York to seduce and betray him. C.D. is fat and ugly - but boy is he sexy. Betsy follows him through the night clubs of London, grooving to jazz, smoking hash - and plotting murder. A wickedly funny novel about falling in love -- with an Old Man and the Old World -- despite the best intentions.
The Old Man And Me (Virago Modern Classics #134)
by Elaine DundyThere's love, and there's revenge. Betsy Lou Saegessor is bent on revenge. Her father is dead, and to top it off, the vast fortune that should have been hers has ended up, through the second marriage of her now deceased stepmother, in the bank account of the legendary and elusive Englishman, C.D. McKee.So Betsy sets out from New York to seduce and betray him. C.D. is fat and ugly - but boy is he sexy. Betsy follows him through the night clubs of London, grooving to jazz, smoking hash - and plotting murder. A wickedly funny novel about falling in love -- with an Old Man and the Old World -- despite the best intentions.
Old Man Drinks
by Michael E. Reali Robert SchnakenbergLose those girly cocktails and start drinking like a real man--a real old man! These Old Man Drinks are guaranteed to put hair on that scrawny baby's bottom you call a chest. From Boilermakers and Sidecars to Rusty Nails and Satan's Whiskers, these old-school party starters go down just as rough as they sound. No pink drinks or foo-foo umbrellas here! Just the good stuff--whiskey, rye, bourbon, gin--and some priceless life lessons that only the very old can provide. So man up, quit your bitchin', and grab a stool, 'cause it's gonna be a long night.
The Old Pirate of Central Park
by Robert PriestIn this wonderfully quirky story, two stubborn souls - a retired pirate and a retired queen - do battle in the sailboat pond in Central Park. Inspired by memories of his past, the Old Pirate has built a marvelous replica of his sailing ship, the Laughing Dog. But when he takes it to the park to launch it in the pond, he finds the waters are not so friendly - the S. S. Uppity Duchess is unwilling to share the seas and takes aim at the Laughing Dog. Who will rule the waves in this offbeat tale of high-seas adventure and friendship found in New York City?
Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats
by T. S. EliotCats! Some are sane, some are mad and some are good and some are bad. Meet magical Mr Mistoffelees, sleepy Old Deuteronomy and curious Rum Tum Tugger. But you'll be lucky to meet Macavity because Macavity's not there!In 1925 T. S. Eliot became co-director of Faber and Faber, who remain his publishers to this day. Throughout the 1930s he composed the now famous poems about Macavity, Old Deuteronomy, Mr Mistoffelees and many other cats, under the name of 'Old Possum'. In 1981 Eliot's poems were set to music by Andrew Lloyd Webber as Cats which went on to become the longest-running Broadway musical in history. This new edition, published on the 70th anniversary of the book and on the 80th anniversary of Faber and Faber, contains original colour illustrations by the award-winning illustrator of The Gruffalo, Axel Scheffler.
The Old Romantic
by Louise DeanObsessed with death and planning his own funeral, Ken is determined to die in the bosom of his family. But it isn't that easy; his family don't want to know him. His oldest son Nick left home over twenty years ago and reinvented himself. At forty, he has returned home to Kent, and found happiness with his girlfriend Astrid and her twelve-year-old daughter Laura, and he doesn't want the old man to spoil things. He's come a long way; he's a professional, a country gent, a family man. But the past is coming back for Nick and it won't let him be. In this dark comedy, in prose that is funny and moving, Louise Dean sharpens her scalpel again to write about the changing generations, about class and ageing and death too, about England now and the England we have left behind.
Old School (The Diary of a Wimpy Kid #10)
by Jeff KinneyLife was better in the old days. Or was it? <P><P>That's the question Greg Heffley is asking as his town voluntarily unplugs and goes electronics-free. But modern life has its conveniences, and Greg isn't cut out for an old-fashioned world. With tension building inside and outside the Heffley home, will Greg find a way to survive? Or is going "old school" just too hard for a kid like Greg?
Old School (The Diary of a Wimpy Kid #10)
by Jeff KinneyLife was better in the old days. Or was it? <P><P>That's the question Greg Heffley is asking as his town voluntarily unplugs and goes electronics-free. But modern life has its conveniences, and Greg isn't cut out for an old-fashioned world. With tension building inside and outside the Heffley home, will Greg find a way to survive? Or is going "old school" just too hard for a kid like Greg?
Old School
by Gordon KormanFrom the New York Times bestselling author of The Unteachables comes a hilarious story about a boy who is homeschooled in his grandmother’s retirement community…until he is forced to go to public school. Dexter Foreman is twelve going on eighty. He has lived at The Pines retirement village with his grandmother since he was six years old, and as a result he gets along better with senior citizens than kids his own age. He's homeschooled by the residents up until the day the county’s truancy officer shows up and announces that Dex has to go to a “real” school, to the local middle school.At school, Dex sticks out like a sore thumb. He dresses like a grandpa (and can be just as cranky). His taste in movies and music is decades out of date. Only a few students—like Gianna Greco, a reporter at the school’s newspaper—find him intriguing. For most, he is either a weirdo or a target.Dexter would do anything to return to his old life at The Pines. But when his wish finally seems to be coming true, his old and new worlds collide in a way that surprises everyone—Dexter most of all.
The Old-Time Saloon: Not Wet - Not Dry, Just History
by George AdeA celebration of the nineteenth-century saloon, written with sly humor during Prohibition: &“A gem for gentlemen and gentlewomen who enjoy a tipple.&”—Toronto Star Described by Luc Sante as &“a distant ancestor of Rocky and Bullwinkle,&” George Ade was an early twentieth-century humorist beloved by many, even earning praise from H.L. Mencken. During the waning years of Prohibition, he wrote The Old-Time Saloon—both a work of propaganda masquerading as &“just history&” and a hilarious exercise in nostalgia that let booze-deprived readers of the day know just what they were missing. Featuring original, vintage illustrations along with a new introduction and notes from Bill Savage, Ade&’s book takes us back to the long-gone men&’s clubs of earlier days, when beer was a nickel, the pretzels were polished, and the sardines were free. &“Ade amuses with his dry humor on a wet topic…The book discusses every phase of the saloon and every type of saloon, from the ornate and opulent place, like the Waldorf or the Knickerbocker, to the dive on the corner and the old-fashioned roadhouse.&”—Brooklyn Daily Eagle &“Much about nineteenth-century saloons may have been sordid and squalid, but Ade knew how to find their charm, even their joy. He&’s a wonderful reading companion—and I bet he would have been pretty great to drink with, too.&”—Daniel Okrent, author of Last Call
Old Time Variety: An Illustrated History
by Richard Anthony Baker&“An illustrated history of good old-fashioned entertainment from names like Tessie O&’Shea, George Formby, and the early days of Bruce Forsyth.&” —Yours As one of the richest sources of diversion for the people of Britain between the end of the First World War and the 1960s, the variety theater emerged from the embers of music hall, a vulgar and rambunctious entertainment that had held the working classes in thrall since the 1840s. Music hall bosses decided they would do better business if a man going to theaters on his own could take his wife and children with him, knowing they would see or hear nothing that would scandalize them. So variety, a gentler, less red-blooded entertainment was gradually established. At the top of the profession were Gracie Fields, a peerless singer and comedienne, and Max Miller, a comic who was renowned for being risqué, but who, in fact, never cracked a dirty joke. They were supported by acts that matched the word variety: ventriloquists, drag artists, animal acts, acrobats, jugglers, magicians and many more. But the variety theater was constantly under threat, first from revue, then radio, the cinema, girlie shows, the birth of rock &’n&’ roll and finally television. By the end of the 1950s, the variety business seemed to have given up, but the recent and extraordinary popularity of talent shows on television has proved the public appetite is still there. Variety could be about to start all over again. &“A priceless record of the people who entertained several generations between the wars and, for a brief time, after WWII . . . thoroughly entertaining.&” —Books Monthly
Older: A Younger Novel (A Younger Novel)
by Pamela RedmondIn the sequel to the beloved Younger—now a hit Netflix series from the creator of Sex and the City starring Sutton Foster and Hilary Duff—Liza Miller is torn between two cities and two hearts when her bestselling novel is picked up by a major television network. New York or Los Angeles? Romance or commitment? Younger…or older? Liza Miller never dreamed that anyone would be interested in her life, let alone buy a book about it. But everything changes when, on the eve of her fiftieth birthday, she publishes a thinly veiled novel about a woman posing as a millennial called Younger—which her old friend Kelsey wants to turn into a TV show. Liza is off to Los Angeles to help Kelsey write the pilot. But that means leaving behind her on-again off-again boyfriend Josh, her pregnant daughter, and her best friend Maggie. Can Liza find happiness in her new adventure if it means leaving everyone she loves? Yet as Liza is swept up in the heady world of Hollywood, she finds herself thinking less and less of her life back home in New York. And when she meets Hugo Fielding—the devastatingly handsome and incredibly flirtatious Brit playing her boss on the show—she toes the line between having a crush and falling in love. Torn between New York and Los Angeles, a familiar love and a risky one, an established career and a shot at stardom, Liza must decide if it&’s too late to go to the ball...and if she even wants to. From the author of the beloved Younger, this is an endearing, hilarious, and relatable tale of second chances and new beginnings that proves: the best thing about getting Older is that you finally get to be yourself.
Older: The fantastic follow-up to YOUNGER, the hit TV show starring Sutton Foster and Hilary Duff
by Pamela Redmond Satran'I loved every bit of this novel, and finished it with a giant smile on my face' - Jodi Picoult, New York Times bestselling author of The Book of Two Ways.Liza never dreamed that anyone would be interested in her life, let alone buy a book about it. But when she publishes a thinly veiled novel about a woman posing as a millennial, called Younger, not only is the book a hit, but her old friend Kelsey wants to turn into a TV show.Flying off to Los Angeles to help write the pilot, Liza leaves behind her on-again off-again boyfriend Josh, her pregnant daughter, and her best friend Maggie. But as Liza is swept up in the heady world of Hollywood, she finds herself thinking less and less of her life back home in New York. And when she meets Hugo Fielding - the devastatingly handsome and incredibly flirtatious Brit playing her boss on the show - she toes the line between having a crush and falling in love.Torn between New York and Los Angeles, a familiar love and a risky one, an established career and a shot at stardom, Liza must decide if it's too late to go to the ball . . . and if she even wants to.The hotly anticipated sequel to the beloved Younger - now a hit TV series from the creator of Sex and the City, Darren Star, starring Sutton Foster and Hilary Duff.
Older
by Pamela Redmond SatranIn the hotly anticipated sequel to the beloved Younger - now a hit TV series from the creator of Sex and the City starring Sutton Foster and Hilary Duff - Liza Miller is torn between two cities and two hearts when her bestselling novel is picked up by a major television network.New York or Los Angeles? Romance or commitment? Younger...or older?Liza Miller never dreamed that anyone would be interested in her life, let alone buy a book about it. But everything changes when, on the eve of her fiftieth birthday, she publishes a thinly veiled novel about a woman posing as a millennial called Younger - which her old friend Kelsey wants to turn into a TV show.Liza is off to Los Angeles to help Kelsey write the pilot. But that means leaving behind her on-again off-again boyfriend Josh, her pregnant daughter, and her best friend Maggie. Can Liza find happiness in her new adventure if it means leaving everyone she loves?Yet as Liza is swept up in the heady world of Hollywood, she finds herself thinking less and less of her life back home in New York. And when she meets Hugo Fielding - the devastatingly handsome and incredibly flirtatious Brit playing her boss on the show - she toes the line between having a crush and falling in love.Torn between New York and Los Angeles, a familiar love and a risky one, an established career and a shot at stardom, Liza must decide if it's too late to go to the ball...and if she even wants to. From the author of the beloved Younger, this is an endearing, hilarious, and relatable tale of second chances and new beginnings that proves: the best thing about getting Older is that you finally get to be yourself.(P)2020 Simon & Schuster
Older and Wider: A Survivor's Guide to the Menopause
by Jenny EclairTHE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER!'If you're after an in-depth medical or psychological insight into the menopause, I'm afraid you've opened the wrong book - I'm not a doctor . . . However, I am a woman and I do know how it feels to be menopausal, so this book is written from experience and the heart and I hope it makes you laugh and feel better.' JEOlder and Wider is Jenny Eclair's hilarious, irreverent and refreshingly honest compendium of the menopause. From C for Carb-loading and G for Getting Your Shit Together to I for Invisibility and V for Vaginas, Jenny's whistle-stop tour of the menopause in all its glory will make you realise that it really isn't just you. Jenny will share the surprising lessons she has learnt along the way as well as her hard-won tips on the joy of cardigans, dealing with the empty nest (get a lodger) and keeping the lid on the pressure cooker of your temper (count to twenty, ten is never enough).As Jenny says, 'I can't say that I've emerged like a beautiful butterfly from some hideous old menopausal chrysalis and it would be a lie to say that I've found the 'old me' again. But what I have found is the 'new me' - and you know what? I'm completely cool with that.'
Older and Wider: A Survivor's Guide to the Menopause
by Jenny EclairTHE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER!'If you're after an in-depth medical or psychological insight into the menopause, I'm afraid you've opened the wrong book - I'm not a doctor . . . However, I am a woman and I do know how it feels to be menopausal, so this book is written from experience and the heart and I hope it makes you laugh and feel better.' JEOlder and Wider is Jenny Eclair's hilarious, irreverent and refreshingly honest compendium of the menopause. From C for Carb-loading and G for Getting Your Shit Together to I for Invisibility and V for Vaginas, Jenny's whistle-stop tour of the menopause in all its glory will make you realise that it really isn't just you. Jenny will share the surprising lessons she has learnt along the way as well as her hard-won tips on the joy of cardigans, dealing with the empty nest (get a lodger) and keeping the lid on the pressure cooker of your temper (count to twenty, ten is never enough).As Jenny says, 'I can't say that I've emerged like a beautiful butterfly from some hideous old menopausal chrysalis and it would be a lie to say that I've found the 'old me' again. But what I have found is the 'new me' - and you know what? I'm completely cool with that.'
Older and Wider: A Survivor's Guide to the Menopause
by Jenny Eclair'The menopause is a weird one, as a woman you know that the likelihood of it happening to you is pretty inevitable, but no-one really tells you what to expect.'So says Jenny Eclair, who, with her trademark humour, will share her experience of what can be a difficult time for many women, from the emotional side of life - missing the woman you were, the empty nest, mood swings - to the health aspects of the menopause, starring the hot flush and also periods (lack of), weight problems, insomnia and other issues. Upbeat and honest, Jenny shares her new-found hobbies, the joy of pets and how to make the best of the different but still-fabulous you.(P)2020 Quercus Editions Limited
The Older Person's Guide to New Stuff: From Android to Zoella, a complete guide to the modern world for the easily perplexed
by Mark LeighSTRUGGLING TO STAY IN TOUCH WITH ELDERLY PARENTS DURING THE LOCKDOWN? WANTING TO HELP ISOLATED RELATIVES WITH ONLINE ORDERING? THIS IS THE PERFECT GUIDE FOR ANYONE GRAPPLING FOR THE FIRST TIME WITH FACETIME, GOOGLE HANGOUTS OR ANY OTHER ASPECT OF THE MODERN WORLD.A handy guide for anyone who says, 'The Facebook' or 'The Google' or who asks, 'Do they deliver emails on Sunday?' This is a book for the elderly and not-so-elderly who are bamboozled not just by the technology of the contemporary world, but also various modern concepts and conceits that the more youthful take for granted.It explains a host of modern concepts and technologies that have entered everyday use and parlance but which are alien (and possibly frightening) not just to the elderly - but probably also to anyone over 45. These concepts are universal and should therefore appeal to readers in the UK, Australia, US and Europe. The definitions are all real, but entertaining, making use of easy-to-understand 'real world' references or examples to explain them.
The Older Person's Guide to New Stuff: From Android to Zoella, a complete guide to the modern world for the easily perplexed
by Mark LeighSTRUGGLING TO STAY IN TOUCH WITH ELDERLY PARENTS DURING THE LOCKDOWN? WANTING TO HELP ISOLATED RELATIVES WITH ONLINE ORDERING? THIS IS THE PERFECT GUIDE FOR ANYONE GRAPPLING FOR THE FIRST TIME WITH FACETIME, GOOGLE HANGOUTS OR ANY OTHER ASPECT OF THE MODERN WORLD.A handy guide for anyone who says, 'The Facebook' or 'The Google' or who asks, 'Do they deliver emails on Sunday?' This is a book for the elderly and not-so-elderly who are bamboozled not just by the technology of the contemporary world, but also various modern concepts and conceits that the more youthful take for granted.It explains a host of modern concepts and technologies that have entered everyday use and parlance but which are alien (and possibly frightening) not just to the elderly - but probably also to anyone over 45. These concepts are universal and should therefore appeal to readers in the UK, Australia, US and Europe. The definitions are all real, but entertaining, making use of easy-to-understand 'real world' references or examples to explain them.
Older, Wiser . . . Pregnant
by Marilyn PappanoOLDER...He'd taken her virginity. She'd taken his love. But although everyone believed wild Laurel Cameron had cared for bad boy Beau Walker, she'd unexpectedly left town with another man. And time had taken its toll on both their hearts.WISER...Now, after five long years, Laurel was home. She'd come back to reconnect with her family, to face her tarnished reputation and to beg Beau's forgiveness. For Laurel desperately wanted a new life for her unborn child.PREGNANTBut how could Laurel ask the very man she'd left to accept her apology...and her baby? Especially when that innocent life was the child of Beau's enemy?