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Once Upon a Crime: The hilarious, ridiculous first Detective Roger LeCarre parody 'thriller'
by Fergus Craig'What's better than a good crime novel? I'll tell you - a spoof crime novel, by the absurdly funny and clever Fergus Craig'MIRANDA HART'We all need more laughs like this'AISLING BEAInspired by the smash hit Twitter videos, Once Upon a Crime is a hilarious, ridiculous, gripping comic crime novel to make every reader's life better.Exeter: a city in decline, East Devon's capital of crime. Detective Roger LeCarre: a man on a quest to rid the world of crime (starting with Devon and Cornwall and then working outwards) so he can concentrate on his watercolours. LeCarre runs 10km a day but probably burns more calories shaking his head at what has become of his city. Now Exeter is set to become the UK Capital of Culture and the ambitious Lord Mayor wants to turn things around. But when a young man's (dead) body is found in the centre of town, things get murky.Detective Roger LeCarre is a character never seen before in modern fiction - a tough but troubled detective with a drink problem and a marriage in trouble. Can he find out who killed the young man, save the city and change his energy provider before the new more expensive tariff kicks in?Filled with drama, eroticism and very specific Wikipedia-sourced information on Devon, Once Upon A Crime is a thriller which demands to be read.
Once Upon a Crime: The hilarious, ridiculous first Detective Roger LeCarre parody 'thriller'
by Fergus Craig'What's better than a good crime novel? I'll tell you - a spoof crime novel, by the absurdly funny and clever Fergus Craig'MIRANDA HART'We all need more laughs like this'AISLING BEAInspired by the smash hit Twitter videos, Once Upon a Crime is a hilarious, ridiculous, gripping comic crime novel to make every reader's life better.Exeter: a city in decline, East Devon's capital of crime. Detective Roger LeCarre: a man on a quest to rid the world of crime (starting with Devon and Cornwall and then working outwards) so he can concentrate on his watercolours. LeCarre runs 10km a day but probably burns more calories shaking his head at what has become of his city. Now Exeter is set to become the UK Capital of Culture and the ambitious Lord Mayor wants to turn things around. But when a young man's (dead) body is found in the centre of town, things get murky.Detective Roger LeCarre is a character never seen before in modern fiction - a tough but troubled detective with a drink problem and a marriage in trouble. Can he find out who killed the young man, save the city and change his energy provider before the new more expensive tariff kicks in?Filled with drama, eroticism and very specific Wikipedia-sourced information on Devon, Once Upon A Crime is a thriller which demands to be read.
Once Upon a Crime: Martin's Fishback's hilarious Detective Roger LeCarre parody 'thriller' (Roger LeCarre)
by Fergus CraigTHE ABSURD CRIME FICTION PARODY BY FICTIONAL AUTHOR 'MARTIN FISHBACK' - AS SEEN ON BBC TWO'What's better than a good crime novel? I'll tell you - a spoof crime novel, by the absurdly funny and clever Fergus Craig'MIRANDA HART'We all need more laughs like this'AISLING BEAExeter: a city in decline, East Devon's capital of crime. Detective Roger LeCarre: a man on a quest to rid the world of crime (starting with Devon and Cornwall and then working outwards) so he can concentrate on his watercolours. LeCarre runs 10km a day but probably burns more calories shaking his head at what has become of his city. Now Exeter is set to become the UK Capital of Culture and the ambitious Lord Mayor wants to turn things around. But when a young man's (dead) body is found in the centre of town, things get murky.Detective Roger LeCarre is a character never seen before in modern fiction - a tough but troubled detective with a drink problem and a marriage in trouble. Can he find out who killed the young man, save the city and change his energy provider before the new more expensive tariff kicks in?Filled with drama, eroticism and very specific Wikipedia-sourced information on Devon, Once Upon A Crime is a thriller that takes itself very seriously and that should not, on any account, actually be taken seriously.
Once Upon a Crime: Delicious Mysteries and Deadly Murders from the Detective Society (A Murder Most Unladylike Mystery)
by Robin StevensTake one last dive into the pages of Hazel&’s casebook and solve six new mini mysteries in this short story companion to the internationally bestselling Murder Most Unladylike series!Between their high-profile murder mysteries, Daisy Wells and Hazel Wong tackle many other cases, like the Case of the Second Scream on the high seas and the Case of the Uninvited Guest at Uncle Felix and Aunt Lucy&’s wedding. They compete with the Junior Pinkertons to solve the Hound of Weston School and humor Hazel&’s tagalong little sister in the Case of the Deadly Flat. They even put their code-cracking skills to the test to catch a thief in the Case of the Missing Treasure and find their holiday interrupted by murder in the Case of the Drowned Pearl. These riveting new mini mysteries are perfect for fans and budding members of the Detective Society.
Once Upon a Cruise: A Wish Novel (Scholastic Press Novels)
by Anna StaniszewskiA funny, fractured fairy tale (sort of) from the author of the beloved Dirt Diaries series!Ainsley never wanted to spend her summer on a fairy tale cruise--especially since, instead of lounging by the pool, she's running around the ship doing favor after favor for her cruise director mom. Things aren't all bad--it's good to see her mom acting confident again after the divorce, and she's learning a lot about obscure German fairy tales and how to fold towels into entertaining shapes for little kids (um, yay?). There's also a guy who's super cute, even in a dorky dwarf costume--if only Ainsley could get Prince Handsome to stop babbling about himself long enough for her to say more than 'hi' to the cute dwarf!But once the cruise starts, things start to go wrong: the laundry turns pink, the kitchen runs out of food, the guy playing the Pig King is always in Ainsley's hair, and her mom expects her to be in a hundred places all at once. Is this fairy tale cruise under a wicked curse? Or can Ainsley stand up for herself and make the cruise end happily ever after?
Once Upon a December
by Amy E. Reichert"An absolutely perfect holiday hug."--New York Times bestselling author Christina LaurenA one-of-a-kind Christmas market offers holiday magic in this new romance from the author of The Kindred Spirits Supper Club. With a name like Astra Noel Snow, holiday spirit isn&’t just a seasonal specialty—it&’s a way of life. But after a stinging divorce, Astra&’s yearly trip to the Milwaukee Christmas market takes on a whole new meaning. She&’s ready to eat, drink, and be merry, especially with the handsome stranger who saves the best kringle for her at his family bakery. For Jack Clausen, the Julemarked with its snowy lights and charming shops stays the same, while the world outside the joyful street changes, magically leaping from one December to the next every four weeks. He&’s never minded living this charmed existence until Astra shows him the life he&’s been missing outside of the festive red brick alley. After a swoon-worthy series of dates, some Yuletide magic, and the unexpected glow of new love, Astra and Jack must decide whether this relationship can weather all seasons, or if what they&’re feeling is as ephemeral as marshmallows in a mug of hot cocoa.
Once Upon a Frog (Whatever After #8)
by Sarah MlynowskiThe magical eighth installment in this New York Times and USA Today bestselling series!My brother, Jonah, and I just want to TALK to the magic mirror -- we're not planning on traveling into any fairytales today. Promise.Except we do wind up going through the mirror, this time into the story of The Frog Prince. The princess, who's supposed to transform the cute little frog back into a handsome prince, turns out to be super rude. Jonah and I decide we don't want -- or need -- her help. We can take matters into our own hands and turn the frog into a prince ourselves! Can't we?Now we just have to:- Climb out of a smelly well- Canoe over a waterfall- Sneak into a palace- Kiss a frog (ack)!And there's no time to waste -- let's hop to it!
Once Upon a Goat
by Dan RichardsA twisted fairy tale about a king and queen who wish for a child of their own . . . and end up with a baby goat. Perfect for readers of Children Make Terrible Pets and Wolfie the Bunny."A funny and redemptive fairy tale."--The Wall Street JournalOnce upon a time, a very prim and proper king and queen begged their fairy godmother for a child. They'd prefer a boy, with glowing skin, bright eyes, and two roses for lips . . . but any kid will do. When they find themselves gifted with a baby goat (also known as a kid) instead, they can't imagine how he'll fit into their lives. But of course, it isn't long before he's part of the royal family.Readers will delight in this story's hilarity, confusion, and celebration of families that come in every shape and size."A fresh, amusing, kindhearted picture book."--Booklist, Starred review"With its gentle morals of acceptance, not judging by appearances, and being open to outcomes different than expectations, this is a lovely family read-aloud."--Kirkus"The contrast between the royal couple's once-ordered existence and the cheerful mess at book's end is very funny, and the message about acceptance and the expanded definition of family is a bonus."--Horn Book
Once Upon a Honeymoon (Studs)
by Julie KistlerName: Thomas Michael "Tripp" AshbyAge: 34Status: S.T.U.D. #2Occupation: JockWhat was a STUD to do? Tripp Ashby actually had more women than he could handle!Thanks to his matchmaking mom's personal ad proclaiming his supposed desire to marry, strange women were turning up naked in his shower, breaking into his cabin, car-jacking him-and driving him nuts!Bridget Emerick had bailed him out before, why would she mind doing it again? Sure, she was engaged to be married, and she couldn't stand his mother. But how could she possibly resist a little dress rehearsal-especially with him as the groom?
Once Upon a Kiss (BookShots Flames)
by James Patterson Sara Jane StoneIs it possible to fall in love in one night?Ivy Grant has devoted her life to medical research--until she finds out her lab funding is about to be cut, right on the cusp of a breakthrough. She'll have to convince the billionaire CEO Carter Burke to support her project. But after a one-night whirlwind romance, is Ivy ready to open her life to new possibilities--like love?BookShots FlamesOriginal romances presented by JAMES PATTERSONNovels you can devour in a few hoursImpossible to stop reading
Once Upon a Marigold: Part Comedy, Part Love Story, Part Everything-But-The-Kitchen-Sink (Upon A Marigold Ser.)
by Jean FerrisWho knew love could be so amazing—and stupefying? Not Christian. He was clueless when he started spying on the royal family through his telescope. He lives in a cave with a troll for a dad, after all. If his dad had only warned him about all that mind-boggling love stuff, maybe things wouldn't be such a mess. But then, maybe, Princess Marigold would be dead. But Christian wasn't warned. And now that he's fallen for the princess, it's up to him to untwist an odd love triangle—er, rectangle—and foil a scheming queen who wants to take over the kingdom, even if it means bumping off her own daughter. With echoes of William Goldman's modern classic The Princess Bride, Jean Ferris's hilarious parody of "Once upon a time . . ." overflows with oddball characters and sage observations—and ends with a slapstick happily-ever-after that's full of surprises.
Once Upon a Midnight Eerie
by Gordon McalpineIn The Tell-Tale Start, Edgar and Allan Poe (great-great-great-great-grandnephews of the legendary Edgar Allan Poe) managed to outwit the nefarious Professor P. Pangborn Perry, who was (and is) determined to kill just one of them, in order to prove a mad scientific theory. Now the boys are in New Orleans, about to play the young Poe in a feature film. But the role may cost them their lives, because now someone else wants them dead. But who? And can the twins#151;with the help of their co-stars, Em and Milly Dickinson, their ghostly forebear, and a pair of real ghosts#151;manage to outwit them? #147;Entertaining and original. . . . Endlessly fun and ultimately very satisfying on every level. ”#151;Publishers Weekly, starred review of The Tell-Tale Start audiobook Gordon McAlpine (the-poes. net)
Once Upon a Puppy (Pine Hollow #2)
by Lizzie ShaneOpposites attract when a straitlaced lawyer and whimsical party planner must fake-date as co-parents of a rambunctious Irish wolfhound in the second book of this im-paw-ssibly charming small-town romance series. Connor Wyeth has a plan for everything. But when he adopts Maximus, an unruly Irish wolfhound mix, he gets more than he bargained for. If he doesn't act fast, the big dopey mutt is going to destroy his house. The only person Max ever listens to is the volunteer who used to walk him at the shelter—a perennially upbeat woman whose day job is planning princess parties for little kids. Connor couldn't ever imagine that she'd be able to tame such a beast as Max, but he's desperate enough to try anything. Deenie Mitchell isn't looking forward to spending more time with uptight, rules-oriented Connor—no matter how attractive he is. But when her sister announces her engagement, Deenie realizes he's the perfect person to impress her type-A family. When she learns he needs a plus-one for his law firm's work events, an unlikely alliance is formed. But as they play the perfect couple, the friendship—and the feelings—that are forming start to feel all too real. Opposites may attract, but can the man with a plan for everything and the misfit who makes her own rules ever find common ground?
Once Upon a Puppy: The latest whimsical, heart-warming, opposites-attract tale in the Pine Hollow series! (Pine Hollow)
by Lizzie ShaneFor fans of Holly Martin, Phillipa Ashley and Sarah Morgan, Lizzie Shane's Once Upon a Puppy is sure to capture your heart!Opposites attract when a straitlaced lawyer and whimsical party planner must fake-date as co-parents of a rambunctious Irish wolfhound in the second book of this im-paw-ssibly charming small-town romance series.Once upon a time, an unruly puppy was looking for a place to call home...Connor Wyeth has a plan for everything. But when he adopts Maximus, an unruly Irish wolfhound mix, he gets more than he bargained for. The only person Max ever listens to is the volunteer who used to walk him at the shelter - a perpetually upbeat woman whose day job is planning princess parties for little kids. Connor can't believe she'll be able to tame such a beast as Max, but he's desperate enough to try anything.Deenie Mitchell isn't looking forward to spending more time with uptight, rules-orientated Connor - no matter how attractive he is. But when her sister announces her engagement, Deenie realizes he's the perfect person to impress her type-A family. When she learns he needs a plus-one for his law firm's work events, an unlikely alliance is formed. But then playing the perfect couple unexpectedly begins to feel all too...real. Opposites may attract, but can this rule-maker and rule-breaker find a way to each other's hearts?Don't miss heartwarming Christmas romance in Pine Hollow, The Twelve Dogs of Christmas, out now!
Once Upon a Quinceanera
by Monica Gomez-HiraPerfect for fans of Jenny Han and Jane the Virgin, this immediately accessible and irresistibly fun rom-com debut will spin readers into an unforgettable summer of late-night dancing, broken hearts, second chances, and telenovela twists.Carmen Aguilar just wants to make her happily ever after come true. Except apparently “happily ever after” for Carmen involves being stuck in an unpaid summer internship. Now she has to perform as a party princess! In a ball gown. During the summer. In Miami.Fine. Except that’s only the first misfortune in what’s turning out to be a summer of Utter Disaster. But if Carmen can manage dancing in the blistering heat, fending off an oh-so-unfortunately attractive ex, and stopping her spoiled cousin from ruining her own quinceañera—Carmen might just get that happily ever after—after all.
Once Upon a Rhyme
by Jack HeckelThe dragon is dead. The princess has been saved. There is but one problem: Prince Charming had nothing to do with it.In order to save his royal reputation, Prince Charming must begrudgingly enlist the help of accidental hero William Pickett. The two set out on an adventure that has them fighting trolls, outwitting a scoundrel, and drinking the foulest ale ever, collecting bruises to both body and pride along the way. Meanwhile, the rescued princess, Gwendolyn, turns out to be one dangerously distressed damsel, and an evil presence takes over Castle White in Charming's absence ...Enter this rollicking world and discover just what happens when a fairytale leaves the well-trodden path of "once upon a time."
Once Upon a Royal Summer: A delightful royal romance from Hallmark Publishing
by Teri WilsonA theme park &“princess&” meets a single dad…who turns out to be a real prince! Enjoy the delightful royal romance from acclaimed author Teri Wilson and Hallmark Publishing.Lacey found her dream job: playing a princess character at a popular fairytale theme park in sunny southern Florida. Her diamond tiara might not be real, but the smiles of the children she meets every day certainly are. It&’s just too bad that her ex-boyfriend was never impressed with her career choice. Henry, the crown prince of Bella-Moritz, is trying to fulfill his young daughter&’s birthday wish: to be a normal girl with a normal life. That&’s why they&’re pretending to be ordinary tourists at an American amusement park. Henry lost his wife four years ago, and he&’s been going through the motions ever since. But could a meeting with a make-believe princess lead to real love? This enchanting romance includes a free Hallmark original recipe.
Once Upon a Scandal (Once Upon… #2)
by Julie LeMenseLady Jane Fitzsimmons won our hearts in Once Upon a Wager...and now her story is full of even more delightful twists and turns! <P><P>Caught up in a scandal of her father's making, Jane is now an outcast in the society that once prized her refinement. When Lord Benjamin Marworth offers to help redeem her good name, she leaps at the chance. <P><P>Too bad his plan requires her very public demise. <P><P>To the ton, Benjamin is a dandy and a rake, but that's merely a convenient disguise to spy for the Crown. Can he save both England and Jane by faking her death and reincarnating her as a French cousin who can ferret out the stolen war secrets he needs? Or will she discover Benjamin's own dark secrets in the end? <P><P>It's a proposition steeped in scandal if they're caught--but love just might be worth the risk. <P><P>Sensuality Level: Sensual
Once Upon a Slime
by Andy Maxwell Samantha CotterillA slapstick, fractured fairy-tale mashup meets the evergreen kid obsession with slime.Once upon a time--gloooooooorp! Ew, gross! Who slimed Goldilocks? Was it the Three Bears, exacting revenge? Not a chance! They're next on the list of fairy-tale sliming victims! Red Riding Hood, the Wolf, Rapunzel, the Three Pigs...they're all under attack. Who could be the mastermind behind this icky, sticky plan?Young detectives can look for clues and solve the mystery in this picture book whodunnit that's positively oozing with wit and charm, perfect for fans of Patrick McDonnell's A Perfectly Messed-Up Story.
Once Upon a Space-Time! (Space-Time #1)
by Jeffrey BrownFrom the author of the New York Times bestselling Jedi Academy books comes the first in a hilarious space-themed graphic novel series. Jide and Petra are just two normal kids until they are selected to leave Earth and join their new alien classmates on an intergalactic research mission to Mars. Too bad Petra has no idea how she ended up in the program, seeing as the closest she wants to get to space is being a sci-fi writer. Jide, on the other hand, is the brains of the mission, but his helicopter parents make it clear he hasn't left their gravitational pull behind quite yet.What is meant to be an intra-species bonding experience soon turns to hijinx as the kids discover The Potato orbiting around their new space classroom and accidentally launch a mission of their own without any adult commanders around to supervise--or help!From New York Times bestselling author Jeffery Brown comes an out-of-this-world adventure perfect for the astronaut-in-training in your life.
Once Upon a Sushi Cat: The Mystery and the Magic
by Tange & Nakimushi PeanutsAn all-at-once charming and delightful book on the world of sushi cats.If you're new to the wonderful world of sushi cats, we're happy to formally introduce you to these magical creatures. Sushi cats are an unusual life-form consisting of a cat on top of a portion of sushi rice. But make no mistake, these sushi cats are not for eating. As the story goes, the history of sushi cats is nothing more than the history of mankind itself and they have been known to influence humans since the beginning of time.Once Upon a Sushi Cat takes you on a journey through history describing where sushi cats come from (Sushi Cat Island, of course), and how they've traveled around the world on their flying plates spreading joy. Although we've gathered a little information from various researchers and witnesses, their existence is shrouded in mystery and sightings remain rare. Pause for a moment to look through the gaps of your busy life, and you may just spot a sushi cat looking back at you.
Once Upon a Tim (Once Upon a Tim #1)
by Stuart GibbsJoin New York Times bestselling author Stuart Gibbs in this first book in a hilarious, highly illustrated new middle grade series about a peasant boy who wants to be a knight, perfect for fans of Max & the Midknights.Tim is just a peasant, but he dreams big. He wants more out of life than to grow up to be a woodsman like his father. Unfortunately, the only route to success in the kingdom of Wyld is to be born a prince. Still, Tim is determined. He is brave and clever and always tries to do the right thing—even though he rarely gets the credit for it. Then news spreads that Princess Grace of the neighboring kingdom has been abducted by the evil Stinx and Prince Ruprecht needs a legion of knights to join him on his quest to rescue her. Tim finally has the lucky break he&’s been waiting for, the opportunity to change his station in life. And even though he doesn&’t know how to ride a horse or wield anything more deadly than a water bucket, he&’s going to do whatever it takes to make sure his dream becomes a reality.
Once Upon a Tim (Once Upon a Tim #1)
by Stuart GibbsNow with a reimagined look! Join a peasant boy who wants to be a knight in the laugh-out-loud funny, highly illustrated first book of the New York Times bestselling Once Upon a Tim chapter book series from Spy School author Stuart Gibbs.Tim is just a peasant, but he dreams big. He wants more out of life than to grow up to be a woodsman like his father. Unfortunately, the only route to success in the kingdom of Wyld is to be born a prince. Still, Tim is determined. He is brave and clever and always tries to do the right thing—even though he rarely gets the credit for it. Then news spreads that Princess Grace of the neighboring kingdom has been abducted by the evil Stinx and Prince Ruprecht needs a legion of knights to join him on his quest to rescue her. Tim finally has the lucky break he&’s been waiting for, the opportunity to change his station in life. And even though he doesn&’t know how to ride a horse or wield anything more deadly than a water bucket, he&’s going to do whatever it takes to make sure his dream becomes a reality.
Once Upon a Time in Elmore: The Story Behind the Watterson House
by Charlie Hart Shane L JohnsonWhen Gumball and Darwin hear the guide on the "Tour of Elmore" bus call their home the smallest house in town, they are determined to find out why that is. When their hare-brained schemes don't get them any closer to the answer, they finally decide to ask their parents. And the answer they get, although shocking, makes them realize that living in the smallest house means they will always be very close to the people they love the most.
Once Upon a Time in Elmore: When Gumball Met Penny
by Wrigley Stuart Shane L JohnsonThe true story of how Gumball Watterson and Penny Fitzgerald met!Gumball Watterson has had a tsunami-sized crush on Penny Fitzgerald ever since he set eyes on her. But just exactly when and where was that? This novel, with black-and-white illustrations throughout, gives readers the inside scoop and fun backstory about how and when this pair first met and their lives became forever entwined.