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Remove Child Before Folding: The 101 Stupidest, Silliest, and Wackiest Warning Labels Ever
by Bob Dorigo JonesREMOVE CHILD BEFORE FOLDING - Awarning label put on an actual baby stroller, ostensiblybecause without such caution parents might crush theirchildren and sue the stroller company for making adefective product. For years, the Michigan anti-lawsuitwatch group M-LAW has held their yearly 'Wacky WarningLabel' contest (this yearrsquo;s winner: a toiletbrush whose maker warned, 'Do Not Use For PersonalHygiene'), in order to highlight the silliest labels everpasted on actual appliances.REMOVE CHILD BEFORE FOLDING offers the 101 mostludicrous, silly and just plain stupid warning labelsever slapped onto perfectly good products, as well assome of the lawsuits that resulted from them. So beforeyou drop that hairdryer in the bathtub, read thesewarnings: 'This Product Moves when Used' (from a popularchildrsquo;s scooter), 'Once used rectally, thisthermometer should not be used orally' ('nuff said),'Harmful if swallowed' (from a brass fishing lure with athree-pronged hook), 'May Irritate Eyes' (from a can ofself-defense pepper spray).
Remy Sneakers and the Lost Treasure (Remy Sneakers #2)
by Kevin SherryA hilariously illustrated early chapter book about a racoon who calls on his friends to help him find out who stole his family’s memoirs.Someone has ransacked Remy’s home and stolen his prized possession, a book of Raccoon Family stories. But anyone could have done the dirty deed. Was it a sneaky pack of alley cats out to make a quick buck? Or maybe Big Al, the notorious king of the sewers? Or could it be the work of a mysterious masked figure? It’s up to Remy and the rest of the Critter Crew to go undercover, track down the thief, and recover the book . . . or Remy’s missing memories will be lost forever!
Remy Sneakers vs. the Robo-Rats (Remy Sneakers #1)
by Kevin SherryThis illustrated early chapter book about a wily raccoon and his animal friends chasing down an evil robot-making scientist is a “madcap series opener” (Kirkus Reviews).Remy Sneakers has never needed anyone’s help. He’s an independent raccoon with a crafty mind, a sweet pad, and collections of the coolest stuff imaginable. But when a master thief starts stealing things all over town, Remy is accused of the crimes! Remy will have to find some friends in Mouse Town, Rat City, and Pigeon Place to help him clear his name. And when it turns out an evil toymaker with an army of robots is behind the thefts—and ready to take control of the whole city—Remy and his new crew are the only ones who can save their beloved home from total destruction!
The Renaissance of Gwen Hathaway
by Ashley Schumacher"Ashley Schumacher's latest novel is a delightful read, with diverse characters and an irresistible setting. The Renaissance of Gwen Hathaway proves that there's no better place to find yourself than at a Renaissance Faire." - Jen Deluca, author of Well MetDumplin' meets Well Met in this novel about finding your place in the world, learning love is a risk worth taking, and discovering what happens when you take your fate into your own hands.Since her mother’s death, Madeline “Gwen” Hathaway has been determined that nothing in her life will change ever again. That’s why she keeps extensive lists in journals, has had only one friend since childhood, and looks forward to the monotony of working the ren faire circuit with her father. Until she arrives at her mother’s favorite end-of-tour stop to find the faire is under new management and completely changed.Meeting Arthur, the son of the new owners and an actual lute-playing bard, messes up Maddie’s plans even more. For some reason, he wants to be her friend - and ropes her into becoming Princess of the Faire. Now Maddie is overseeing a faire dramatically changed from what her mother loved and going on road trips vastly different from the routine she used to rely on. Worst of all, she’s kind of having fun.Ashley Schumacher's The Renaissance of Gwen Hathaway is filled with a wise old magician who sells potion bottles, gallant knights who are afraid of horses and ride camels instead, kings with a fondness for theatrics, a lazy river castle moat with inflatable crocodile floaties, and a plus-sized heroine with a wide open heart... if only she just admits it."Set in one of my favorite places in the world — a Renaissance Faire full of jousts, royalty, bards, and castles— this is a wise, beautiful, funny book with tremendous heart. I absolutely loved it." - Jamie Pacton, author of The Life and (Medieval) Times of Kit Sweetly and Lucky Girl
The Rendering
by Joel NaftaliThirteen-year-old Doug narrates in a series of blog posts (many interrupted by either his best friend, smart girl Jamie, or the artificial intelligence who mothers him, the avatar) how he came to temporarily save the world and to be branded a terrorist and a murderer. He was innocently playing video games in the employee lounge of the biotechnology center where his aunt was a director when an insane genius ex-employee broke in, stole the equipment to digitize anyone and make his own biodroid army, killed Doug's aunt, and blew up the center (and soon the nearby town). Doug managed to escape, accidentally creating three super-powered creatures, and gaining a electronics-destroying superpower of his own with which to fight the evil Dr. Roach.
A Rendezvous to Remember (Everlasting Love)
by Geri Krotow"My dear Melinda, I hate to see you throw away what may be the love of your life.…" Melinda Thompson knew that her grandmother had always adored Nick. But Grammy's gone now and Melinda's on the verge of divorce.…When she comes home to her widowed grandfather, Grandpa Jack hands her a leather-bound journal—and invites her to look into some family secrets. Grammy's voice rings out from the journal, begun when she was in her twenties and living in Nazi-occupied Belgium. Breathlessly, Melinda reads the story of a young woman involved in the Resistance and the British airman whose life she saved. The story of passionate love and a wartime promise. One that saw her grandparents, Esmée and Jack, through World War II. And a marriage of more than sixty years. With the example of her grandparents' lives, Melinda looks for the courage to believe again. In the love of her life.
Rendezvous with Revenge
by Miranda LeeHe'd planned his revenge...Ethan Grant seemed to have no place in his life for women, except as expensive playthings. So Abby shouldn't have been surprised when Ethan, her boss, offered to pay her to attend a conference with him-and demanded that she pretend to be his lover!There were plenty of shocks in store during that weekend. Suddenly, Ethan wanted Abby in his bed for real. But it also became clear that he had another date on his mind, too-with an old flame.... Was Abby just a pawn in his game of vengeance?
Rene-Charles: Little Bulldog in the Big City
by Evan Cuttic Ryan NallsFierce. Flawless. Frenchie.With opinions on brunch (always boozy), work (something for lesser life forms), and everything (really, everything) in between, René-Charles is the ultimate New York City tastemaker. Whether he's dining at the finest restaurants or luxuriating in his king-size bed, this discerning French bulldogaccepts nothing less than the best.And if you don't meet his standards?Well, he'll let you know.
The Renegade Billionaire
by Rebecca WintersOne night to change their lives... A runaway child is missing, and as it's on his Greek island, rebel billionaire Stavros Konstantinos finds himself caught up in the search, alongside pretty tour guide Andrea Linford... Their heroic rescue mission over, they begin to explore the spark between them. Andrea always thought love happened to other people-but after two bliss-filled days with Stavros she knows her feelings run deep. Is Andrea brave enough to throw off her past and step into the future-with Stavros by her side?
Renegade Magic (Kat, Incorrigible #2)
by Stephanie BurgisThe feisty Kat Stephenson is back in the second installment of the Regency era magical trilogy Kirkus Reviews calls "enjoyable mayhem."Nowhere in England is safe from the mischief and magic of Kat Stephenson: Her eldest sister has finally wed, but when a scandalous accusation threatens the marriage prospects of Kat's second sister, Angeline, Stepmama swiftly whisks the family away to Bath in an attempt to outrun the gossip and betroth Angeline to a respectable suitor. Meanwhile, Kat's utter lack of ladylike propriety has prompted the powerful Lord Ravenscroft to expel her from the magical Order of Guardians--before her training has even begun! Anger and exile aside, Kat knows something is not quite right about Lord Ravenscroft. Her insatiable curiosity and fierce loyalty to her family will have readers rooting for her all the way as Kat attempts to reunite Angeline with her true love and prove that she has what it truly takes to be a Guardian.enson trilogy.
Renegade Millionaire
by Kristi GoldA stranger's kiss on New Year's Eve had Joanna Blake nearly swooning-the last thing the struggling midwife needed. She never dreamed they'd meet again in a hospital delivery room, where she'd be working at the side of sexy-as-sin Dr. Rio Madrid, and on the verge of accepting his dangerously tempting invitation.When their lips touched at the stroke of midnight, Rio was lost in the sweetest sensual torment he'd ever known. Opening his lavish home to the strapped single mother was just borrowing trouble, for his reluctant Cinderella would soon learn that he was no fantasy prince. Unless Joanna found a way to liberate this rebel healer from his lonely life and free his heart to love...
Rent a Boyfriend
by Gloria ChaoTo All the Boys I’ve Loved Before meets The Farewell in this incisive romantic comedy about a college student who hires a fake boyfriend to appease her traditional Taiwanese parents, to disastrous results, from the acclaimed author of American Panda. <p><p> Chloe Wang is nervous to introduce her parents to her boyfriend, because the truth is, she hasn’t met him yet either. She hired him from Rent for Your ’Rents, a company specializing in providing fake boyfriends trained to impress even the most traditional Asian parents. <p><p> Drew Chan’s passion is art, but after his parents cut him off for dropping out of college to pursue his dreams, he became a Rent for Your ’Rents employee to keep a roof over his head. Luckily, learning protocols like “Type C parents prefer quiet, kind, zero-PDA gestures” comes naturally to him. <p><p> When Chloe rents Drew, the mission is simple: convince her parents fake Drew is worthy of their approval so they’ll stop pressuring her to accept a proposal from Hongbo, the wealthiest (and slimiest) young bachelor in their tight-knit Asian American community. <p><p> But when Chloe starts to fall for the real Drew—who, unlike his fake persona, is definitely not ’rent-worthy—her carefully curated life begins to unravel. Can she figure out what she wants before she loses everything?
Rent to Be: A Novel
by Sonia HartlIn this bright, laugh-out-loud rom-com, the grind of the millennial struggle is a lot more fun when you add falling in love to the mix, perfect for fans of Tessa Bailey and Beth O&’Leary.Isla Jane is living the millennial nightmare. She&’s got a shiny new MBA and no way to pay for it, thanks to her dead-end entry-level job, and nowhere to live, thanks to her miserable salary. Going home to her parents is not possible, but for once Isla&’s brother may be her saving grace. He&’s out of town on business for a month, meaning the guest room in his condo is blissfully empty.Or so Isla thinks, until she runs into Cade Greenley, her brother&’s best friend—who&’s crashing there while his own condo is undergoing renovations. When a desperate plan to sleep under her desk miraculously turns into a house-sitting job for one of the big bosses at her office, Isla is certain her luck has turned—with no one, Cade included, the wiser. It&’s a perfect solution—until Cade catches her sunbathing at a mansion that is definitely not hers, and she admits she&’s house-sitting because she can&’t afford rent.The pair strike a deal—Cade will keep Isla&’s secret from her overbearing parents if she agrees to pose as his girlfriend at a few upcoming corporate events. The fun and friendly vibe of his office is a surprise compared to hers, but the biggest shock is that each &“date&” with Cade feels less and less fake. Suddenly she&’s looking forward to every minute they spend together while the chemistry between them sizzles. As Isla&’s house-sitting scheme begins to unravel, she'll have to face the fact that her biggest lie of all is the one she's telling herself: that she's not falling in love with Cade.
The Repeat Room: A Novel
by Jesse BallFranz Kafka meets Yorgos Lanthimos in this provocative new novel from one of America&’s most brilliant and distinctive writersIn a speculative future, Abel, a menial worker, is called to serve in a secretive and fabled jury system. At the heart of this system is the repeat room, where a single juror, selected from hundreds of candidates, is able to inhabit the defendant&’s lived experience, to see as if through their eyes.The case to which Abel is assigned is revealed in the novel&’s shocking second act. We receive a record of a boy's broken and constrained life, a tale that reveals an illicit and passionate psycho-sexual relationship, its end as tragic as the circumstances of its conception.Artful in its suspense, and sharp in its evocation of a byzantine and cruel bureaucracy, The Repeat Room is an exciting and pointed critique of the nature of knowledge and judgment, and a vivid framing of Ball's absurd and nihilistic philosophy of love.
Repentina morte fora de hora: Uma história de hóquei e vampiros
by Steve VernonConheça o Sprague Deacon - um dos mais difíceis jogadores de hóquei dos tempos antigos que já patinaram em uma pista de gelo derramado à mão. Sprague nasceu e foi criado e ele espera morrer aqui na costa norte do Labrador. O que ele não esperava era um ônibus de turismo cheio de vampiros - nenhum dos quais brilha nem um pouco - para entrar em sua cidade e começar a diminuir o nível da população - um cadáver de cada vez. Sprague e seus três melhores amigos - um time de hóquei do norte da Labrador, que nunca desistiu da liga dos arbustos, fica doido com um ônibus de turismo cheio de vampiros em um confronto imortal de hóquei nas ruas? Para a resposta - jogue Slapshot de Paul Newman no liquidificador com Steven Niles 30 Days of Night e aperte frappe! Steve Vernon é o autor de uma dúzia de e-books de horror escandalosamente alucinante e fantasia sombria, incluindo seu horror / romance histórico completo DEVIL TREE, a extravagância do super-herói do festival de testosterona para não prisioneiros NADA A PERDER e a novela de sucesso cult CHIFRE LONGO, GRANDE CHÁGUA - UM CONTO DE TERROR SELVAGEM SELVAGEM E BÚFALO REANIMADO. Também inclui o conto de hóquei sobre viagens no tempo bônus, "Time Out", bem como uma história de fantasmas de bônus orientada ao hóquei, "Sinais de fumaça". "Com SUDDEN DEATH OVERTIME, Vernon capta perfeitamente o coração sombrio de um inverno canadense e a paixão vitalícia que envolve o jogo de hóquei. Ele pega um grupo de velhos amigos que nunca recuaram de uma briga no gelo quando eram mais jovens e ainda recusam Jogue na pista alguns personagens memoráveis, um ótimo diálogo, um ônibus cheio de vampiros desagradáveis e uma surpresa chocante que você não verá chegando e terá você mesmo uma história que certamente será uma vencedora. "- Gord Rollo - autor de VALLEY OF THE SCARECROW "Se Harlan Ellison, Richard Matheson e Robert Bloch fizeram uma trepada sexual em uma banheira de hid
The Replacement Wife
by Caitlin CrewsTo win her inheritance, the black sheep of a wealthy family must play the part of socialite fiancée in this contemporary romance.Becca Whitney has always lived with the knowledge that her aristocratic family disowned her as a baby. So when she receives a summons to return to the ancestral mansion, she’s intrigued.Theo Markou Garcia needs a wife—or at least someone who looks strikingly similar to his infamous fiancée. Becca would be the perfect replacement. The deal is simple enough: in exchange for masquerading as the Whitney heiress, Becca will receive her own true fortune. But falling for her husband is definitely against the rules . . .
Repo Madness: A Novel (Ruddy McCann #2)
by W. Bruce CameronFrom W. Bruce Cameron, the author of the New York Times and USA Today bestselling novel A Dog's Purpose, which is now a major motion picture!Ruddy McCann is back in Repo Madness--the laugh-out-loud, thrilling adventure from bestselling author W. Bruce Cameron!Ruddy McCann, former college football star, now Kalkaska, Michigan repo man, is finally getting his life back on track. He has a beautiful fiancé, Katie Lottner, a somewhat stable job stealing cars, and a lazy, lovable basset hound.With his job suddenly in jeopardy, his fiancé wanting a break, and a new court-ordered psychiatrist insisting he take his medication or violate the terms of his probation, Ruddy finds himself missing the one thing he thought he would be happy to be rid of--the voice of Alan Lottner, dead realtor and Ruddy's future father-in-law. When a woman tells Ruddy that the tragedy that defines his life may, in fact, be a lie, Ruddy starts to investigate the disappearances of women in the area and soon discovers that his own redemption may be within reach. Alan's voice returns, and Ruddy and Alan work together to bring down a corrupt banker, win back Katie's love, and stop a serial killer before he can strike again.At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
Report To The Principal's Office (School Daze)
by Jerry SpinelliIt's the first day of school at Plum stead Middle School and already there's trouble. It starts with Sunny, who is determined to do whatever it will take to get herself suspended. Then there's Eddie, who has a three-point plan for fitting in, but still gets beaten up on the morning bus. Salem is all too pleased to witness Eddie's troubles, and on top of it all, there's Pickles Johnson, who is just...well...Pickles. These four sixth graders have only one thing in common. They're all about to report to the principal's office.
Reporteros 1. 3, 2, 1... ¡Acción!
by Luigi Garlando¡Ha nacido un nuevo periódico! Tomi y sus amigos están eufóricos: ¡van a convertirse en periodistas de verdad! El director de la redacción, Tino, ya lo ha decidido: Tomi estará al cargo de la sección de deportes, Nico se ocupará de la actualidad y Eva, de las páginas de sociedad. Pocos días después de la inauguración, la redacción ya saca humo. ¡Hay mil y una cosas que hacer!
Reprehensible: Polite Histories of Bad Behaviour
by Mikey RobinsRollicking and informative, Reprehensible: Polite Histories of Bad Behaviour is your guide through some of the most shameful behaviour indulged in by humanity&’s most celebrated figures, as told by Mikey Robins, one of Australia&’s most loved comedians. It is often said that we live in an era of constant outrage, but we are definitely not the inventors of outrageousness. Let&’s be honest, human beings have always been appalling. Not everyone and not all the time, but our history is littered with those whose work and deeds have rendered them . . . reprehensible. Sometimes it&’s our most esteemed luminaries who behave the worst. What are we to make of Catherine the Great&’s extensive collection of pornographic furniture, Hans Christian Andersen&’s too-much-information diary and Karl Marx&’s epic pub crawls? Or hall-of-fame huckster William McCloundy, who in 1901 actually &‘sold&’ the Brooklyn Bridge to an unsuspecting tourist, and the pharaoh who covered his slaves in honey to keep flies off his meal? Did you know about the royal ticklers of the House of Romanov, and the bizarre coronation rituals of early Irish kings? (Let&’s just say that eating a white horse wasn&’t the weirdest part of the ceremony.) So sit back and rest your conscience: there will be a host of scoundrels, bounders and reprobates, tales of lust and power aplenty, as we indulge in that sweet spot where history meets outrage, with just a bit of old-school TMZ thrown in for good measure.Praise for Reprehensible: &‘Finally, Mikey Robins has put his vulgar mind to good use, telling history&’s lesser known grubby yarns. I love it!&’ Tom Gleeson
Representations of France in English Satirical Prints 1740–1832
by John Richard MooresBetween 1740 and 1832, England witnessed what has become known as its 'golden age of caricature'. This coincided with an era of dramatic social and political change both at home and abroad. In this period of intense international war and rivalry, Britain's relationship with France proved particularly turbulent, leading to suggestions that its national culture and identity was defined by its 'Francophobia'. Though they are often employed as shorthand evidence of hostility towards France, under closer scrutiny Georgian satirical prints reveal attitudes towards the French 'Other' that were far more complex, ambivalent, empathetic and multifaceted than has previously been recognised. At the same time, print satires purportedly dealing with French subjects were often commenting pointedly on British politics, society or culture, often in ways which revealed cultural insecurity rather than confident national superiority.
The Reptile Room (A Series of Unfortunate Events #2)
by Lemony Snicket Brett Helquist Michael Kupperman<P>Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. <P>In the first two books alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, a lumpy bed, a deadly serpent, a large brass reading lamp, a long knife, and a terrible odour. <P>In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Never before has a tale of three likeable and unfortunate children been quite so enchanting, or quite so uproariously unhappy.
The Republic: A Novel
by Joost de VriesA gripping academic novel about deception and self-deception, ambition, the love of history as entertainment, and the hunt for the perfect enemy. Josip Brik, larger-than-life pop philosopher, Hitler studies expert, and TV historian, has always found himself more attracted to the fictional representation of history than to history itself. When Brik falls from a hotel window in Amsterdam, the number one mourner is Friso de Vos, a young academic who has been Brik’s right-hand man. However, Friso is forced to watch from the sidelines as his countryman Philip de Vries, whom he has never heard of, is interviewed again and again in the newspapers, and even on TV, about “his mentor,” Josip Brik. When a large symposium for historians is organized in Vienna, Friso sees his opportunity to set the record straight and begins to impersonate Philip, with dangerous and hilarious results. With a playful mix of literary and pop culture references, this novel immerses us in the world of the global intelligentsia, where the truth counts for less than what is said about it. Joost de Vries has written a biting academic satire, an absurd and exceptionally intelligent tale.
Republican Party Reptile: The Confessions, Adventures, Essays and (Other) Outrages of . . . P. J. O'Rourke
by P. J. O'Rourke"I think our agenda is clear. We are opposed to: government spending, Kennedy kids, seat-belt laws, busing our children anywhere other than Yale, trailer courts near our vacation homes, all tiny Third World countries that don't have banking secrecy laws, aerobics, the UN, taxation without tax loopholes, and jewelry on men. We are in favor of: guns, drugs, fast cars, free love (if our wives don't find out), a sound dollar, and a strong military with spiffy uniforms. There are thousands of people in America who feel this way, especially after three or four drinks. If all of us would unite and work together, we could give this country. . . well, a real bad hangover."
Reputation: A Novel
by Lex CroucherBridgerton meets Gossip Girl with a dash of Jane Austen, in Reputation, a Regency-era historical romantic comedy with a deliciously feminist twist, from a hilarious new British voice, Lex Croucher.Abandoned by her parents, bookish and sheltered Georgiana Ellers is spending the summer with her stodgy aunt and uncle at their home in the English countryside. At a particularly dull party, she meets the enigmatic Frances Campbell, a wealthy member of the in-crowd who delights Georgiana with her disregard for so-called "polite society."Lonely and vulnerable, Georgiana quickly falls in with Frances and her wealthy, wild, and deeply improper friends, who introduce her to the upper echelons of Regency aristocracy, and a world of drunken debauchery, frivolous spending, and mysterious young men. One, in particular, stands out from the rest: Thomas Hawksley, who has a tendency to cross paths with Georgiana in her most embarrassing moments. Sparks fly, but Thomas seems unimpressed with the company she is keeping. And soon, Georgiana begins to wonder whether she’ll ever feel like she fits in––or if the price of entry into Frances’s gilded world will ultimately be higher than she is willing to pay.Set against a backdrop of lavish parties, handsome men on horseback––and in a time when one’s reputation was everything––this edgy, hilarious romantic comedy explores sex, consent, belonging, and status through the eyes of an unforgettable heroine that Austen herself would have cheered for.