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The Complete Smoke Trilogy
by Tanya HuffNow in an omnibus edition, the Lambda Award-nominated supernatural Smoke series presents contemporary fantasy with a gothic twist.When Tony Foster relocated to Vancouver with his vampire Henry Fitzroy, he knew it was his chance to get his act together. In an example of art echoing life, Tony landed a job as production assistant for the syndicated TV show, Darkest Night, a series about a vampire detective. And except for his unrequited crush on the show's handsome co-star, Lee Nicholas, Tony was pretty content.Until everything started to fall apart on the set.It began with shadows--shadows where they didn't belong, that almost had an existence of their own. Tony tried to ignore it--until he found Nikki Waugh's body, and felt the shadow's touch, and a stunt crash went wrong for no discernible reason--and Tony knew that he had to find out what was threatening everyone on the set.
The Complete Stories
by Evelyn WaughEvelyn Waugh's short fiction reveals in miniaturized perfection the elements that made him the greatest satirist of the twentieth century. The stories collected here range from delightfully barbed portraits of the British upper classes to an alternative ending to Waugh's novel A Handful of Dust; from a "missing chapter" in the life of Charles Ryder, the nostalgic hero of Brideshead Revisited, to a plot-packed morality tale that Waugh composed at a very tender age; from an epistolary lark in the voice of "a young lady of leisure" to a darkly comic tale of scandal in a remote (and imaginary) African outpost.The Complete Stories is a dazzling distillation of Waugh's genius-abundant evidence that one of the twentieth century's most admired and enjoyed English novelists was also a master of the short form.
The Complete Trailer Park Boys: How to Enjoy the Trailer Park Boys When the Cable is Out
by Don Wininger Matthew SibigaThe first of its kind - a heavily illustrated, all-you-need-to-know book about the cult hit TV show, for both rabid fans and anyone who enjoys a hot toasted chicken finger.To the storied and pastoral locales of great Canadian fiction - Leacock's Mariposa, Lawrence's Manawaka, Montgomery's Avonlea - readers can now add the many splendours of Sunnyvale Trailer Park. With this lovingly designed volume, to grace even the finest toilet-side magazine basket, Ricky, Bubbles, Julian and the whole TPB crew stumble, bewildered and slightly aggravated, from the screen to the page - without spilling a drop of rum and Coke.Working in concert with the show's creators Matthew Sibiga and Don Wininger have developed a wide range of interpretive devices, helpful lists, historical mementoes, legal advice, wrestling, kitty-care and grooming tips, and more, to aid in any fan's appreciation of the show - or substitute for it when the cable is out. Added to these features is a two-page synopsis of every episode, including stats, air dates and best lines. Numerous photos and sidebars scattered throughout include quotes, philosophical gleanings and tidbits from the series. Just in time for the next season of one of the most popular television shows ever created in Canada, The Complete Trailer Park Boys truly will be a resource no fan can do without.Some sample chapter topics:Ricky:-A list of Rickyisms -Map of areas in the park where he has passed out-A detailed pictorial of his car/homeBubbles:-Bubbles's shopping cart chop shop-behind the scenes-Go-cart performance specs-Bubbles eye chartJulian:-Julian's fashion tips (how to match black with black)-Best money-making schemes-T-shirt wearing and the art of seduction-Julian's bartending mix bookOther characters:-J-Roc rap lyrics-Ray's tips on beating the government on disability-Corey and Trevor's gas siphoning tips
The Complete Uxbridge English Dictionary: I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue
by Graeme Garden and Jon NaismithThe Complete Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating & Sex (Worst-case Scenario Ser.)
by Joshua Piven David Borgenicht Ben H. WintersBlind dates, bad kissers, breakup texts, nightmare hook ups--it's a jungle out there! Luckily, the authors of the bestselling Worst-Case Scenario series have created the most comprehensive handbook for surviving the wilds d'amour through every phase of a relationship, from courting and getting hitched to breaking up and moving on. Collecting hundreds of the best of the worst dating and sex scenarios from across the 27-book series--and featuring dozens of new entries--this bedside bible of illustrated, expert advice on romantic and not-so-romantic disasters will keep readers amused and safe in equal measure. Also including an appendix of pickup lines to avoid (or use), handy excuses, guide to body language, an "It's Not You, It's Me" letter template, and more.
The Complete and Utter History of the World: According to Samuel Stewart Aged 9
by Sarah BurtonWhen his teacher sets the class a History project, Sam cannot choose which bit of History he prefers, so decides to do ALL OF IT. A very funny, ironic child"s-eye view on the history of the world, complete with his own illustrations
The Computer Teacher From The Black Lagoon
by Mike Thaler Jared LeeA boy contemplates all the horrible stories he has heard about the computer teacher, Miss Pluggins, and the ordeals she forces her students to endure.
The Computer that Ate My Brother
by Dean Marney[from the back cover] "Would you bring Roger back please? No. Pretty please? What Harry Smith wanted for his birthday was a drum set. What he got was a computer. The first thing Harry realized about his computer was that it wasn't normal. It cried. It wrote messages. It flashed the living room lights when it wanted attention. The second thing Harry realized about his computer was that it could read his mind. That was okay when Harry was thinking about dinner. It wasn't okay when he was thinking about his brother Roger, the worst possible slime ever to walk the face of the earth. You can't really blame Harry for what happened. Haven't you ever wished your brother would... disappear?" The Bookshare library is loaded with more hilarious books by the author Dean Marney. Look for books like: How to Drive Your Family Crazy, The Easter Bunny That Ate My Sister, The Valentine That Ate My Teacher, How to Drive Your Family Crazy... On Halloween, The Jack-o'-Lantern that ate My Brother and The Christmas Tree That Ate My Mother, with more to come.
The Con Artist: A Novel
by Tom Fowler Fred Van LenteThis illustrated mystery will appeal to comic book fans and anyone who appreciates an unconventional whodunit.Comic book artist Mike Mason arrives at San Diego Comic-Con, seeking sanctuary with other fans and creators—and maybe to reunite with his ex—but when his rival is found murdered, he becomes the prime suspect. To clear his name, Mike will have to navigate every corner of the con, from zombie obstacle courses and cosplay flash mobs to intrusive fans and obsessive collectors, in the process unraveling a dark secret behind one of the industry’s most legendary creators.
The Confession of a Child of the Century by Samuel Heather: A Novel
by Thomas RogersFinalist for the National Book Award: A witty novel of coming of age during wartime in AmericaIn the words of its &“author,&” Samuel Heather, the Confession is a &“comical historical pastoral&” that chronicles the struggles of growing up the son of a Midwestern bishop. (&“My father&’s daily work was to be a father. It was excruciating.&”) Samuel escapes Missouri to attend Harvard, where he gets himself expelled for exploding a footbridge over the Charles River. He is soon sent to fight in Korea and lands in a prison camp. Samuel&’s picaresque coming of age—by turns both funny and poignant—is truly the tale of &“a child of the century.&”
The Conqueror’s Shadow (Corvis Rebaine #1)
by Ari MarmellWith The Conqueror's Shadow, Ari Marmell brings a welcome seasoning of wit to the genre, proving that dark fantasy can address the enduring questions of good and evil and still retain a sense of humor. Playful yet intense, sharply sarcastic yet deeply sincere, The Conqueror's Shadow announces the appearance of a unique talent-and an antihero like no other. They called him the Terror of the East. His past shrouded in mystery, his identity hidden beneath a suit of enchanted black armor and a skull-like helm, Corvis Rebaine carved a bloody path through Imphallion, aided by Davro, a savage ogre, and Seilloah, a witch with a taste for human flesh. No shield or weapon could stop his demon-forged axe. And no magic could match the spells of his demon slave, Khanda. Yet just when ultimate victory was in his grasp, Rebaine faltered. His plans of conquest, born from a desire to see Imphallion governed with firmness and honesty, shattered. Amid the chaos of a collapsing army, Rebaine vanished, taking only a single hostage-the young noblewoman Tyannon--to guarantee his escape. Seventeen years later, Rebaine and Tyannon are married, living in obscurity and raising their children, a daughter and a son. Rebaine has put his past behind him, given up his dreams of conquest. Not even news of Audriss--an upstart warlord following Rebaine's old path of conquest-can stir the retired warrior to action. Until his daughter is assaulted by Audriss's goons. Now, to rescue the country he once tried to conquer, Rebaine once more dons the armor of the Terror of the East and seeks out his former allies. But Davro has become a peaceful farmer. Seilloah has no wish to leave her haunted forest home. And Khanda . . . well, to describe his feelings for his former master as undying hatred would be an understatement. But even if Rebaine can convince his onetime comrades to join him, he faces a greater challenge: Does he dare to reawaken the part of him that gloried in cruelty, blood, and destruction? With the safety of his family at stake, can he dare not to?
The Consequences of That Night (At His Service #3187)
by Jennie LucasAn indecent indiscretion! Emma Hayes has gone from making hotel magnate Cesare Falconeri's bed to running his household, including handing out expensive parting gifts to his numerous conquests! But each time, it's chipped away at her heart. Until one night, inhibitions lowered, she reaches for what she's always wanted.... With one disastrous marriage behind him Cesare vows never to go there again. But when his indiscretion with Emma has consequences, Cesare must break his own vow-and say I do for the sake of his heir. Now he'll expect his new bride to share his bed, instead of making it!
The Consolations of Humor and Other Folklore Essays
by Elliott OringThe Consolations of Humor and Other Folklore Essays unfolds as a series of questions, commentaries, and criticisms of the analysis, interpretation, and explanation of folklore. Can we confidently regard jokes as the catharsis of sexual and aggressive impulses? What is the basis for characterizing a joke as Jewish or Scottish or Japanese? What do we really know about “dirty jokes”? How is a text or behavior constructed so that it is perceived as humorous? Can we get a computer to reliably recognize jokes? What is the relevance of memetics and a Darwinian paradigm to understanding folklore change over time? Can we identify laws operating in the realm of folklore? How can the marginalization, extinction, or continuity of traditions be explained? In the course of addressing these questions, Elliott Oring identifies some fundamental problems, brings new evidence and observations to the discussion, and proffers some original and startling insights. While recognizing the study of jokes and other forms of folklore as a humanistic endeavor, Oring believes in the relevance of a scientific perspective to the enterprise. He values clear definitions, tests of hypotheses and theories, empirical evidence, experiment, and the search for laws. Written in a sophisticated yet accessible style, The Consolations of Humor and Other Folklore Essays stimulates both scholars and students alike and contributes to the creation of a more robust folkloristics in the twenty-first century.
The Conspiracy Tourist: Travels Through a Strange World
by Dom JolyDom Joly sets off on his travels again, immersing himself in the strange world of conspiracies. On his journeys he meets conspiracy theorists galore in destinations all over the world, some famous, some rather less so.Conspiracy theories used to be fun, a bit of laugh. Did we really land on the moon? Was Paul McCartney cloned? Nowadays, however, in the aftermath of Donald Trump, a global pandemic and the ever-increasing influence of social media algorithms, they are part of the body politic and a massive cause of division and mistrust.In The Conspiracy Tourist Dom Joly sets out on a global journey to find out what's going on. His travels see him meeting followers of QAnon, hunting for UFOs in Roswell, chasing Alex Jones of Info Wars around Austin, trying to prove that Finland exists and taking a flat-earther to the edge of the world. On the way Dom inevitably finds the funny and the quirky, but he also tries to understand what makes people so drawn to conspiracy theories. What if those he has long dismissed as crazed loonies actually have a point? What if we are the sheeple and they've been right all along? Join a wide-eyed, slightly jaded, adventurous tourist on a very different kind of sight-seeing trip.
The Conspiracy Tourist: Travels Through a Strange World
by Dom JolyDom Joly sets off on his travels again, immersing himself in the strange world of conspiracies. On his journeys he meets conspiracy theorists galore in destinations all over the world, some famous, some rather less so.Conspiracy theories used to be fun, a bit of laugh. Did we really land on the moon? Was Paul McCartney cloned? Nowadays, however, in the aftermath of Donald Trump, a global pandemic and the ever-increasing influence of social media algorithms, they are part of the body politic and a massive cause of division and mistrust.In The Conspiracy Tourist Dom Joly sets out on a global journey to find out what's going on. His travels see him meeting followers of QAnon, hunting for UFOs in Roswell, chasing Alex Jones of Info Wars around Austin, trying to prove that Finland exists and taking a flat-earther to the edge of the world. On the way Dom inevitably finds the funny and the quirky, but he also tries to understand what makes people so drawn to conspiracy theories. What if those he has long dismissed as crazed loonies actually have a point? What if we are the sheeple and they've been right all along? Join a wide-eyed, slightly jaded, adventurous tourist on a very different kind of sight-seeing trip.
The Constable Mavis Upton Adventures Books One to Three: Handcuffs, Truncheon and a Polyester Thong; Whiskey Tango Foxtrot; and Blues, Twos and Baby Shoes (The Constable Mavis Upton Series)
by Gina KirkhamAn ebook collection of three novels that follow the hilarious misadventures of a woman who takes no prisoners—which is never ideal for a police officer. Mavis Upton tackles everything life can throw at her in this humorous, poignant, and moving series of an everyday girl who one day followed a law enforcement dream . . . Handcuffs, Truncheon and a Polyester Thong Single mom Mavis Upton decides to pursue her lifelong ambition to become a police officer. Using her newly discovered investigative skills, she reluctantly embarks on a search to find her errant dad who was last seen years before, making off with her mum&’s much needed coupon for a fabulous foam cup bra all the way from America. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Our hapless heroine Constable Mavis Upton is preparing to step down the aisle with her fiancé Joe, but has to deal with her temperamental teen daughter, as well as investigate a serial flasher on a push bike. Throw a diva drag queen into the mix and readers can expect the usual hilarious Mavis mishaps that made the first book such a hit. Blues, Twos and Baby Shoes Mavis and her daughter Ella are both pregnant. But now Mavis has to deal with a mysterious case involving a blackmailer sending poison pen letters. Can Mavis juggle impending motherhood and her career, maintain a loving relationship with her other half Joe and deal with being a grandmother, all while solving the case? Series praise &“Laugh out loud brilliance, so witty and cleverly written.&” —Samantha Magson &“Hilarious! It&’s true, everyone needs Mavis in their life.&” —Sherrie Hewson &“Such a terrific read!&” —Lorraine Kelly
The Constant Rabbit: A Novel
by Jasper Fforde"Every book of Fforde's seems to be a cause for celebration." -- Charles Yu, The New York Times Book Review on Early RiserA new stand-alone novel from the New York Times bestselling author of Early Riser and the Thursday Next seriesEngland, 2022. There are 1.2 million human-size rabbits living in the UK. They can walk, talk, drive cars, and they like to read Voltaire, the result of an Inexplicable Anthropomorphizing Event fifty-five years before.A family of rabbits is about to move into Much Hemlock, a cozy little village in Middle England where life revolves around summer fetes, jam making, gossipy corner stores, and the oh-so-important Best Kept Village awards.No sooner have the rabbits arrived than the villagers decide they must depart, citing their propensity to burrow and breed, and their shameless levels of veganism. But Mrs Constance Rabbit is made of sterner stuff, and her and her family decide they are to stay. Unusually, their neighbors--longtime resident Peter Knox and his daughter, Pippa--decide to stand with them . . . and soon discover that you can be a friend to rabbits or humans, but not both. With a blossoming romance, acute cultural differences, enforced rehoming to a MegaWarren in Wales, and the full power of the ruling United Kingdom Anti-Rabbit Party against them, Peter and Pippa are about to question everything they had ever thought about their friends, their nation, and their species. An inimitable blend of satire, fantasy, and thriller, The Constant Rabbit is the latest dazzlingly original foray into Jasper Fforde's ever-astonishing creative genius.
The Constant Rabbit: The Sunday Times bestseller
by Jasper FfordeTHE NUMBER ONE BESTSELLING AUTHOR'The Constant Rabbit is Jasper Fforde's most chilling and realistic book yet' Guardian'You won't read anything quite like this in 2020 - or beyond that too' CultureFly***England, 2020. There are 1.2 million human-sized rabbits living in the UK. They can walk, talk and drive cars, the result of an Inexplicable Anthropomorphising Event fifty-five years ago. And a family of rabbits is about to move into Much Hemlock, a cosy little village where life revolves around summer fetes, jam-making, gossipy corner stores, and the oh-so-important Best Kept Village awards.No sooner have the rabbits arrived than the villagers decide they must depart. But Mrs Constance Rabbit is made of sterner stuff, and her family are behind her. Unusually, so are their neighbours, long-time residents Peter Knox and his daughter Pippa, who soon find that you can be a friend to rabbits or humans, but not both.With a blossoming romance, acute cultural differences, enforced rehoming to a MegaWarren in Wales, and the full power of the ruling United Kingdom Anti Rabbit Party against them, Peter and Pippa are about to question everything they'd ever thought about their friends, their nation, and their species.It'll take a rabbit to teach a human humanity . . . PRAISE FOR JASPER FFORDE'Sheer inventiveness, wit, complexity, erudition, unexpectedness and originality' The Times'Is there anyone who can write satire quite like Fforde?. . . An astonishingly well-crafted work of social and political satire.' Kirkus 'Fforde presents a milquetoast cog in an absurdly bureaucratic wheel, this time cleverly skewering Brexit, conservative politics, and white supremacy in this surprisingly uplifting tale of one man doing his best, even if it is the bare minimum.' Booklist'The Constant Rabbit is designed to shake readers out of that complacency: to recognise that merely holding liberal values is not enough to prevent the quickening advance of racism and xenophobia in this country. One must act.' Financial Times'A serious minded comedy' Mail on SundayREADERS LOVE THE CONSTANT RABBIT'This is Jasper Fforde at his absolute best. Clever, thought-provoking and relevant, whilst maintaining the absurdity that we have come to love Fforde for' 5*'A real classic - the sort of book that will be read in fifty or a hundred years' time' 5*'[Jasper Fforde's] ability to take something relatively normal and turn it on it's head is sublime, ridiculous and so enjoyable! Quirky, funny, satirical tale with pertinent reflections on current times.' 5*'This book couldn't have come at a better time. Frighteningly poignant given the state of world. It's a truly wonderful piece of work that belongs right up there with Orwell.' 5*'This is Jasper Fforde at his finest. A witty, thought provoking read that makes you sit up and take note of all the things going on around you. Love this author, was already a fan, but now even more so.' 5*'I knew within minutes of starting the opening chapter that this was Fforde at the top of his game.' 5*
The Constant Rabbit: The Sunday Times bestseller
by Jasper FfordeTHE NUMBER ONE BESTSELLING AUTHOR. THE MOST ORIGINAL BOOK OF 2021'Sheer inventiveness, wit, complexity, erudition, unexpectedness and originality' The Times***The village of Much Hemlock has always been a right-wing stronghold. British. Solid. Traditional. Then they move in. They're different from everyone else: they have a weird religion, an aggressive vegan agenda, and too many children. They may seem quiet and peace-loving, but who knows where it could lead?They are a family of human-sized rabbits, the result of an inexplicable anthropomorphising event half a century before. With a mass rehoming to Wales for 1.2 million rabbits looming, long-term resident Peter Knox is drawn from his customary spot on the fence and must choose his corner: a cosy job-for-life at the Rabbit Compliance Taskforce, or stand with the rabbits - and weather the full brunt of human savagery.It'll take a rabbit to teach a human humanity . . .PRAISE FOR JASPER FFORDE'The Constant Rabbit is Jasper Fforde's most chilling and realistic book yet' Guardian'You won't read anything quite like this in 2020 - or beyond that too' CultureFly'Is there anyone who can write satire quite like Fforde?. . . An astonishingly well-crafted work of social and political satire.' Kirkus 'Fforde presents a milquetoast cog in an absurdly bureaucratic wheel, this time cleverly skewering Brexit, conservative politics, and white supremacy in this surprisingly uplifting tale of one man doing his best, even if it is the bare minimum.' Booklist'The Constant Rabbit is designed to shake readers out of that complacency: to recognise that merely holding liberal values is not enough to prevent the quickening advance of racism and xenophobia in this country. One must act.' Financial Times 'A serious minded comedy' Mail on Sunday READERS LOVE THE CONSTANT RABBIT'This is Jasper Fforde at his absolute best. Clever, thought-provoking and relevant, whilst maintaining the absurdity that we have come to love Fforde for' 5*'A real classic - the sort of book that will be read in fifty or a hundred years' time' 5*'[Jasper Fforde's] ability to take something relatively normal and turn it on it's head is sublime, ridiculous and so enjoyable! Quirky, funny, satirical tale with pertinent reflections on current times.' 5*'This book couldn't have come at a better time. Frighteningly poignant given the state of world. It's a truly wonderful piece of work that belongs right up there with Orwell.' 5*'This is Jasper Fforde at his finest. A witty, thought provoking read that makes you sit up and take note of all the things going on around you. Love this author, was already a fan, but now even more so.' 5*'I knew within minutes of starting the opening chapter that this was Fforde at the top of his game.' 5*
The Constantin Marriage (Wedlocked! #53)
by Lindsay ArmstrongAlex Constantin agreed to a marriage of convenience to Tatiana Beaufort because this inexperienced young woman intrigued him. But on their wedding night she asked for a year's grace before making theirs a "real" marriage…insisting on single beds!A year on, Tattie is both alarmed and tempted when her husband suggests they become lovers at last. But she is just as determined that she will not become his proper wife until Alex says, "I love you."
The Consultant's Christmas Proposal
by Kate HardyConsultant Toby Barker has a secret…He has been in love with his best friend Dr. Saskia Haywood for years.Dr. Saskia Haywood also has a secret…She's struggling to come to terms with an illness that could ruin not only her ability to work in the maternity ward, but also her chances of having children.Now both secrets are out…Saskia knows of Toby's desire for a family—something she'll never be able to give him—but what she doesn't realize is that Toby will do anything for her. Starting with a Christmas proposal she'll never forget!
The Consultant's New-Found Family (Bachelor Dads Ser. #9)
by Kate HardyA mother for his daughterEver since Joel Mortimer lost his wife, he's thrown himself into his work and been a dedicated single father to his daughter, Beth. Joel wrongly blames himself for the loss of Beth's mother and their unborn child. He has vowed never to have another child, or put his little girl through any more trauma—until he meets his new colleague, Lisa Richardson.Though Lisa isn't looking for commitment either, she can't resist Joel, and one night they give in to temptation. But when Lisa finds out she's pregnant, they both have some soul-searching to do.
The Consummate Cowboy
by Sara OrwigTHE FORBIDDEN MANZach Durham could rustle the orneriest cattle, charm two rambunctious kids...and inspire desire in women who should know better. And Emily Stockton knew better. Her sister's ex-husband was way off-limits...but this flesh-and-blood, taut-muscled, slim-hipped cowboy had her pulse pounding, her heart racing and her mind reeling. She wanted to forget the real reason she'd come to his spread and simply be in his arms, live on his ranch, tend her adorable niece and nephew. But her stay was temporary. She knew it, and Zach knew it.So why was he looking at her like a man in love...like a man who wanted her by his side-forever?
The Contagious Colors of Mumpley Middle School
by Rodolfo Montalvo Fowler DewittSomething strange is happening to the sixth grade--and it's up to student scientist Wilmer Dooley to crack the case in this fast-paced novel full of humor and mystery. If there's one important thing Wilmer Dooley's dad always says, it's this: "Where are my car keys?" Okay, maybe not that. He also says: "Observe " Wilmer has always known that the greatest science comes from the keenest observations. So when he observes his classmates looking a little green. . . and orange. . . and chartreuse-fuchsia polka-dotted. . . he knows that it's up to him to find the cause of this mysterious illness--and the cure. But with his arch nemesis, Claudius Dill, hot on his heels; the eagle-eyed biology teacher, Mrs. Padgett, determined to thwart his plans; and a host of fluorescent classmates bouncing off the walls at increasingly dangerous speeds, can Wilmer prove he has what it takes to save the sixth grade from a colorful demise before it's too late?
The Contenders
by James Ridgeway Dean Kuipers Richard Goldstein Laura Flanders Eli SandersWhen you get beyond the spin, the campaign spending, the YouTube spots, and the paid advertisements, what did the Democratic contenders in the 2008 Presidential election stand for, really? What did Hillary Clinton learn from Nixon? What does Barack Obama have in common with Justin Timberlake? Who are the two John Edwardses? Is America ready for the vegan presidency of Dennis Kucinich? What makes Al Gore rock and roll? Why do Joe Biden, Christopher Dodd, Bill Richardson, and Mike Gravel bother? Find out in this irreverent guide to the 2008 presidential candidates.