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The Darwin Awards III
by Wendy NorthcuttThe humour evolution takes another giant step One of the human race's most popular humour series returns with a brand-new collection of hilariously macabre mishaps and misadventures, honouring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it. The Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest shows once more how uncommon common sense still is. Celebrate Darwin Award winners who made the 'ultimate sacrifice'; wonder at the misguided pluck of Honorable Mentions who survived their own bad judgment, and look on in awestruck amusement at Personal Accounts shared by the perpetrators themselves. From the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself twice to the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw, The Darwin Awards III proves again that when it comes to stupidity, we are the most advanced species on the planet.
The Darwin Awards Next Evolution: Chlorinating the Gene Pool
by Wendy NorthcuttThe hilarious New York Times bestselling phenomenon—more than 1.5 million copies sold! New York Times bestselling author Wendy Northcutt is back, asking, Have we evolved at all? The answer: Not all of us. What crazy cocktail of DNA leads Homo sapiens to do pull-ups off the edge of a seventh-floor balcony or wrap their lips around a paintball gun and pull the trigger? How about offering a beer to a bear or self-testing a Taser? Why not go joyriding in a shopping cart strapped to an SUV or jump a drawbridge on a bicycle? Fully illustrated with over a hundred new jaw-dropping and side-splitting feats of stupidity—and including science essays by guest writers and answers to FAQs about evolution in action—The Darwin Awards Next Evolution continues the tradition of honoring the victims of appallingly poor survival instinct who selflessly improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.
The Darwin Awards: Next Evolution
by Wendy NorthcuttEvolution takes a giant step forward with the fifth edition of the New York Times best selling phenomenon. The human race's most popular humor series returns with a new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, The Darwin Awards Next Evolutionshows how uncommon common sense still is.
The Darwin Awards® Next Evolution
by Wendy NorthcuttAn all-new collection of gene-pool belly flopsMost people don't need a PhD to know that doing chin-ups off the edge of a seventh-floor balcony is a recipe for disaster. Or that it's a bad idea to put a paintball gun in your mouth and pull the trigger. Or to think twice before joyriding in a shopping cart strapped to a four-wheel drive. Darwin Award winners lack this basic sound judgement. Named for Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, The Darwin Awards celebrates those who have dived headfirst into the shallow end of the gene pool. From offering a bear a beer to self-testing a Taser to jumping a drawbridge on a bike, The Darwin Awards V: Next Evolution honours these macabre and entertaining feats of hapless misjudgement. Fully illustrated with over a hundred new awe-inspiring tales, including science essays from guest writers and answers to FAQs about evolution in action, The Darwin Awards V: Next Evolution demonstrates how uncommon common sense still is.
The Dastard (The Xanth Novels)
by Piers AnthonyA villain threatens the future of Xanth by erasing the past—and only a teenage dragon-girl can stop him in this fantasy adventure. He calls himself The Dastard—a name he&’s more than earned the right to claim. Having sold his soul for the ability to erase events, he now holds the future of Xanth in his dastardly grip. And the only one capable of foiling his evil plan is a most unlikely hero. The daughter of Draco the Dragon and a human woman, Becka has never been sure if she belongs in the magical world of Xanth. Seeking her true purpose in life from the Good Magician Humphrey, she discovers that she not only belongs in Xanth—but that all of Xanth depends on her!
The Dastard (Xanth #24)
by Piers AnthonyFrustrated farm boy Anomy gives up his soul in return for the ability to unhappen events. Since he uses this power mostly for ill, he adopts the sobriquet the Dastard and becomes a problem. The good guys send a half-dragon, half-human girl, a roc, and the princesses Melody, Harmony, and Rhythm on his trail. Complicating the action in this customarily busy Xanth yarn are the Sea Hag, an insatiably vengeful spirit who possesses the bodies of young women, wears them out, and throws them away; time travel; some intriguing limits to and complexities of magic; the usual word- and concept play; and some serious ethical thinking when the Dastard regains a soul (a borrowed one, not the original). Readers may become impatient with the Adult Conspiracy and the power of panties, devices used on all intergender encounters, at the cost of a good deal of their potential, at least for readers who are already conspiring adults. Roland Green
The Date from Hell: A Novel (Match Made in Hell #2)
by Gwenda Bond"The apocalyptic beach read that everyone needs." - Alix E. Harrow, Hugo Award-winning author on Not Your Average Hot GuyIn The Date from Hell, the sequel to Not Your Average Hot Guy, New York Times bestselling author Gwenda Bond brings the journey of Callie, Luke, and their friends to a wonderful close. This is another laugh out loud, action-packed romantic adventure you won’t want to miss.After saving the world and stopping the apocalypse, Callie and Luke are looking forward to a quiet, romantic weekend together. When you’re human and dating the Prince of Hell, quiet moments are hard to come by. But their romantic weekend in Hell takes a turn when Lucifer tasks Callie and Luke with chasing a wayward soul around the world. If they can prove it’s possible to redeem a soul, Lucifer will allow the two of them to make some changes in Hell.But this wayward soul, Sean, doesn’t have any interest in being redeemed. Instead, now that he’s back on Earth, he’s decided to take a leaf out of Callie and Luke’s book and wants to find the Holy Grail. Now Callie, Luke, and their friends—and enemies—must race Sean around the globe on a Grail quest and bring peace between Heaven and Hell before they can finally (maybe) get around to that date.
The Date to Save
by Stephanie Kate StrohmAfter a scheduling mishap occurs one student tracks how her high school's homecoming game, the academic battle, and class election all ended up on the same day with hilarious results!The word is out...BROOKS MANDEVILLE, quarterback: Friday is the homecoming game and dance. It is a very big deal.NATALIE WAGNER, marching band clarinet: Our band's halftime show performances are legendary, even if our football team isn't. CINTHIA ALVAREZ, Academic Battle team member: Our Academic Battle team has won five years in a row. This Friday, it'll be six.TANNER ERICKSEN, sophomore class candidate for vice president: Holly has to win the election for class president this Friday!HOLLY CARPENTER, cheerleader, Academic Battle team member, class president candidate: Friday? Everything is on Friday? How can I be in three places at once?COLIN VON KOHORN, editor-in-chief of the Prepster: This kind of scheduling incompetence could only have come straight from the top.ANGELICA HUTCHERSON, reporter-at-large: I talked to everyone and my article is going to crack this story wide open...This is what happens on the wildest day in the history of high school!
The Dating Arrangement (Something True #1)
by Kerri CarpenterIn this romantic comedy, an event planner hoping to please her wedding-obsessed mother pretends to date a sexy entrepreneur—then falls for him for real.When a bride falls from a window onto bar owner Jack Wright, he sees it as a sign from above! But event planner Emerson Dewitt is nobody’s bride—much to her society mother’s perpetual disappointment. Then Jack proposes . . . an arrangement. He’ll pose as Emerson’s boyfriend in exchange for her help relaunching his business. It’s a perfect marriage . . . er, partnership. Until all that fake dating turns into some very real feelings . . .
The Dating Dare: A Novel
by Jayci LeeBuzzfeed's 2021 Romance Novels You Need To Read This SummerWith witty characters and heartrending romance, Jayci Lee, author of A Sweet Mess, returns with The Dating Dare—where two people might just find out how hard it is to resist falling in love with the right person.No serious relationships. This is the one rule Tara Park made for herself and it has been working swimmingly, thank you very much. The occasional fling is fine, especially since she’s busy with Weldon Brewery. But when Seth Kim, temptation personified and her best friend’s new brother-in-law walks into her life, Tara might be willing to bend her golden rule…but only for four dates—the four dates she agreed to after a few good rounds of beer and a game of truth or dare. It’ll be fun. No biggie. Seth Kim can’t believe Tara agreed to his dating dare. He’s leaving for a new job in Paris in a month and a no-strings attached fling seemed like a nice little distraction for both… But their secret dates, while sweet and sexy, always hit roadblocks straight out of a romantic comedy. Thankfully, their non-dates and chance meetings are smoother, frequent, and heated. However, the more Seth sees of Tara, the less willing he is to let her go—and what was supposed to be a fun little game turns into something that neither of them are ready for.But sometimes, the best things in life are the ones we never see coming.
The Dating Dare: A new witty and decadent rom-com from the author of ‘A Sweet Mess'
by Jayci LeeIf you love Jasmine Guillory, Lauren Layne and Helen Hoang, you'll devour Jayci Lee's delicious new romantic comedies!Early readers are loving The Dating Dare!'I loved how realistic the main characters were . . . I could honestly see this being made into a movie; one I'd definitely be queuing up to watch' 5* reader review'This book was SO FUN! . . . Seth and Tara are amazing together. Their chemistry was phenomenal and they just bounced right off the page!' NetGalley review'Ooh I enjoyed this one. A great love/hate at the start and its just blossoms . . . the words and story just flow off page, it feels seamless and delightful' NetGalley reviewOne dare. Four dates. Only their hearts to lose...No serious relationships. This is the one rule Tara Park made for herself and it has been working swimmingly, especially since she's busy with Weldon Brewery. But when Seth Kim, temptation personified and her best friend's new brother-in-law walks into her life, Tara might be willing to bend her golden rule . . . but only for four dates, which she agreed to after a few good rounds of beer - and a game of truth or dare. Seth Kim can't believe Tara agreed to his dating dare. He's leaving for a new job in Paris in a month and a no-strings attached fling seemed like a nice distraction for both . . . But while their dates have a tendency to hit roadblocks, their non-dates and chance meetings are becoming frequent - and heated. What was supposed to be a little fun game is turning into something that neither is ready for. But sometimes, the best things in life are the ones we never see coming.Raves for Jayci's A Sweet Mess!'A perfect balance of impeccable wit, laugh out loud hilarity, and off the charts chemistry. A Sweet Mess is a sinfully decadent romantic comedy! Helena Hunting, New York Times bestselling author'A rich, vibrant romance that's a feast for all the senses!' Lauren Blakely, New York Times bestselling author'This book was SO FUN!...Seth and Tara are amazing together. Their chemistry was phenomenal and they just bounced right off the page!' reader review'The words and story just flow off page, it feels seamless and delightful...Lots of drama and a brilliant bumpy road' reader review
The Dating Game
by Sandra FieldA Business Arrangement?Attractive divorcée and single parent Julie Ferris had problems with a succession of men who were interested in her body, not her mind.Successful lawyer Teal Carruthers shared her concerns. A widower with a small son to bring up, he was targeted by every woman he met as a potential husband. Should feelings get in the way-when the solution seemed an obvious one...?
The Dating Game (The Dating Game #1)
by Natalie StandifordMeet sophomores Madison, Holly and Lina. When the Dating Game website that they create forclass becomes a campus hit, they become the match-making masters of their school and, they hope, their lives.Will Madison ever learn how to kiss correctly? Is it okay for Lina to share how far she's gone with her guy with her girlfriends? And how many dates will it take Holly to tell if he's really 'the one'?
The Dating Plan
by Sara DesaiEven with a step-by-step plan, these fake fiancés might accidentally fall for each other in this hilarious, heartfelt romantic comedy from the author of The Marriage Game. Daisy Patel is a software engineer who understands lists and logic better than bosses and boyfriends. With her life all planned out, and no interest in love, the one thing she can't give her family is the marriage they expect. Left with few options, she asks her childhood crush to be her decoy fiancé. Liam Murphy is a venture capitalist with something to prove. When he learns that his inheritance is contingent on being married, he realizes his best friend's little sister has the perfect solution to his problem. A marriage of convenience will get Daisy's matchmaking relatives off her back and fulfill the terms of his late grandfather's will. If only he hadn&’t broken her tender teenage heart nine years ago… Sparks fly when Daisy and Liam go on a series of dates to legitimize their fake relationship. Too late, they realize that very little is convenient about their arrangement. History and chemistry aren't about to follow the rules of this engagement.
The Dating Plan: TikTok made me do it! The fake dating rom-com you need
by Sara DesaiOne of GoodReads' Hottest 2021 Romances and a Marie Claire Bookclub Pick!The laugh-out-loud TikTok rom-com starring a high-achieving Desi girl who has to ask her childhood crush to be her decoy fiancéDaisy Patel is a software engineer who understands lists and logic better than bosses and boyfriends. With her life all planned out, and no interest in love, the one thing she can't give her family is the marriage they expect. Left with few options, she asks her childhood crush to be her decoy fiancé.Liam Murphy is a venture capitalist with something to prove. When he learns that his inheritance is contingent on being married, he realises his best friend's little sister has the perfect solution to his problem. A marriage of convenience will get Daisy's matchmaking relatives off her back and fulfil the terms of his late grandfather's will. If only he hadn't broken her tender teenage heart nine years ago...Sparks fly when Daisy and Liam go on a series of dates to legitimise their fake relationship. Too late, they realize that very little is convenient about their arrangement. History and chemistry aren't about to follow the rules of this engagement.
The Dating Plan: the one you saw on TikTok! The fake dating rom-com you need (Karen Pirie #15)
by Sara DesaiHer best friend's brother. A broken heart. A fake relationship. The laugh-out-loud TikTok sensation you need this summer! Daisy Patel has her life all planned out, and no interest in love. Her family, however, expect a marriage. Liam Murphy is a venture capitalist with something to prove. Until he realises his inheritance is contingent on being married.A fake marriage will get Daisy's matchmaking relatives off her back and fulfil the terms of his late grandfather's will. If only he hadn't broken her tender teenage heart nine years ago . . .Sparks fly when Daisy and Liam go on a series of dates to legitimise their fake relationship. Too late, they realize that this might not be the perfect plan.
The Dating Playbook
by Farrah RochonWhen a personal trainer agrees to fake date her client, all rules are out the window in this "fun, heartfelt, and totally relatable" romantic comedy (Abby Jimenez, NYT bestselling author of Life's Too Short).When it comes to personal training, Taylor Powell kicks serious butt. Unfortunately, her bills are piling up, rent is due, and the money situation is dire. Taylor needs more than the support of her new best friends, Samiah and London. She needs a miracle.And Jamar Dixon might just be it. The oh-so-fine former footballer wants back into the NFL, and he wants Taylor to train him. There's just one catch—no one can know what they're doing. But when they're accidentally outed as a couple, Taylor's game plan is turned completely upside down. Is Jamar just playing to win . . . or is he playing for keeps?PopSugar: Best Summer Reads of 2021BookBub: Best Romance Books of SummerWashington Post: Romance Novels to Read This SummerOprah Daily: Most Anticipated Romances of 2021
The Dating Playbook: A fake-date rom-com to steal your heart! 'A total knockout: funny, sexy, and full of heart'
by Farrah Rochon'A total knockout: funny, sexy, and full of heart' KirkusIf you love Helen Hoang, Abby Jimenez and Talia Hibbert, you'll LOVE Farrah Rochon, whose books are always witty, hot, and engaging (BuzzFeed)!The Boyfriend Project was one of Cosmopolitan's '12 Books You'll Be Desperate to Read This Summer' and one of Oprah Magazine's Best Romances of 2020, and described as 'a prime example of how complex and insightful romances can be' (Jasmine Guillory)What happens when three women discover, thanks to the live tweeting of a disastrous date, that they've all been duped by the same man? They become friends of course!The dating game is on. And the rules just went out the window. When it comes to personal training, Taylor Powell kicks serious butt. Unfortunately, her bills are piling up, rent is due, and the money situation is dire. Taylor needs more than the support of her new best friends, Samiah and London. She needs a miracle. And Jamar Dixon might just be it. The oh-so-fine former footballer wants to get back into the NFL, and he wants Taylor to train him. There's just one catch - no one can know what they're doing. But when they're accidentally outed as a couple, Taylor's game plan is turned completely upside down. Is Jamar just playing to win...or is he playing for keeps?Raves for Farrah Rochon:'Relatable and real... I smiled the whole time I was reading' Andie J. Christopher'The free-spirited, tell-it-like-it-is page-turner you've been looking for!' Kwana Jackson'A multilayered story about friendship, love, and following your dreams - all of it told with heart and emotion' Nalini Singh'Funny, fresh, sexy, and heartfelt. This is my new favorite romance series' Suzanne Brockmann'A smart, funny digital-age romance about real women living in the real world. Couldn't put it down!' Abby Jimenez'A masterpiece of modern-day Jane Austen with effortless, razor-sharp social commentary, romance, and humor. Farrah Rochon is one of the absolute best romance writers today. Period' Kristan Higgins'Swoon-worthy romance, the power of true friendship, and a grand gesture that makes your heart sigh with pure satisfaction. Absolutely a must-read summer romance!' Priscilla Oliveras'Rochon is a romance master who adeptly writes interesting and dynamic characters... A richly layered conflict adds depth and complexity to this charming workplace romance' Kirkus
The Daughter Merger
by Janice Kay JohnsonThe terrible twos are nothing compared to the traumatic teens.David Whitcomb is a good father and once upon a time, his thirteen-year-old daughter Claire adored him. But times have changed and Claire seems intent on running away to live with her mother-a woman who's unable to look after her.In desperation, David turns to Grace Blanchet, the mother of Claire's best friend. Grace agrees to foster Claire while father and daughter work things out. She knows this is what's best for Claire. She's just not sure it's best for her. Does she really want to "play house" with a man who, much as she's attracted to him, reminds her of another man-one she'd prefer to forget?
The Dave Store Massacre
by Ron EbestThe Dave Store is quite possibly the greatest retailenterprise in American history. Selling everything from lawnmowers to Pop Tarts to wine-cask-sized jars of dill pickles,the Dave Store doesn't just dominate the retail market, it isthe retail market. That is, until an employee at an outlet insmall-town Jackson, Missouri launches a wildcat strike. Thencompany owner Dave Blandine, a retail legend known formerciless cost-cutting and a glass eye the size of a doorknob,decides to take a stand against organized labor.He sends his half-witted son and heir, along with themegalomaniacal head of a security company and nine heavilyarmedagents to quell the unrest. They are met by Jackson'ssharp-as-a-blade lady mayor, and its laconic, marijuana-smokingpolice chief who is famous for his two-gunned marksmanship.Standing between these antagonists is the Dave Store'slocal manager, a sycophantic nebbish with a penchant forByronic poetry, and his wife, a 15-year-old girl in a 25-year-oldwoman's body. As the strike deteriorates, both sides reachfor their guns. And the town moves inexorably toward massmurder. But cheer up. It's a comedy.Loosely based on the story of the Matewan massacre--the 1920 shoot-out between striking coal miners and armedstrike-breakers in small-town West Virginia--The Dave StoreMassacre is a satire in an American tradition that extends fromMark Twain and Dorothy Parker to Christopher Buckley andPaul Mooney.
The Davis Years
by Nicole Green"After graduating from college, Jemma returns to the one place in the world she never thought she'd see again--her hometown of Derring, Virginia. She can't stay away any longer when she realizes her best friend from high school is getting married. Returning home also means seeing Davis again. He broke her heart in high school and she's not sure she's over it yet. She's been thinking about him a lot since she turned down a marriage proposal from her college boyfriend. However, she has a new life now and Davis is a part of the past she's determined to put behind her. Davis knows Jemma can do better than him and he wants her to. So even though his heart nearly stops when he sees Jemma for the first time in six years, he's determined not to get attached to her again for her sake. Trying to ignore what he feels for her isn't his only problem. His two brothers may want to sell the house their dad left all three of them. His brothers abandoned him to their abusive father and now he's sure they only want to come back into his life to take the house away from him. Neither Jemma nor Davis want to fall in love with each other again, albeit for different reasons. However, it's hard for them to fight the forceful attraction that hasn't disappeared over the years. If anything, it's grown stronger."
The Dawn of Time: An Unofficial Graphic Novel for Minecrafters (The Magic Portal #1)
by Cara J. StevensThe first book in an all-new graphic novel series for Minecrafters—The Magic Portal! In a world where combat games are the key to survival, two rivals get accidentally sucked into a portal that brings them back in time to the very beginning of The End. There, they uncover the ancient secrets of an Enderman&’s unusual behavior. In order to get back home and share this valuable knowledge, Keri and Omar must guide the Endermen to carry out their plan to build the End Portal. The problem is, the Endermen aren&’t so keen on following the plans Keri and Omar have laid out for them. In fact, if they&’re not careful, they&’ll find out just how hostile an Enderman can get. Will Keri learn to trust Omar? Can these two enemies find a way to get along long enough to hatch a plan, convince the Endermen to build the End Portal, and return home without making any waves in their future timeline?
The Day I Died
by Cetta De Luca Monica R. Pelà & Paola MarianiOnce, I died. For 12 minutes. So begins the surreal, sometimes ironic, sometimes painful, story of the protagonist. A first-person narrative, a journey back in time to recover those lost 12 minutes. Because time is something precious that belongs to us, and we need to retrieve it. On this voyage, the phobias, compulsions, conscious and unconscious motivations that often drive us to make wrong choices, are revisited. Recovering those 12 minutes is important, as is fixing the past; that abandoned baggage left somewhere that we need in order to move forward with our lives. The star hovers over reality and a dreamlike state among memories, subterfuge, children, cats, guitar players and psychoanalysis, laughter and tears, without respite until reaching her final goal: to discover, under hypnosis, what happened that day when she died for 12 minutes.
The Day I Fell Into a Fairytale: The bestselling classic adventure
by Ben MillerFollowing the breakout successes of The Night I Met Father Christmas and The Boy Who Made the World Disappear, get ready for the brilliant NEW novel from actor, comedian and bestselling author Ben Miller, perfect for fans of Matt Haig and David Baddiel! Featuring beautiful illustrations throughout from Daniela Jaglenka Terrazzini,Lana loves stories. Especially the ones she and her brother, Harrison, share in their make-believe games. But when Harrison decides he&’s too grown-up to play with Lana she finds herself feeling lonely. Until something magical happens… Hidden in the strange new supermarket in town, Lana discovers a portal to a fairytale world! But these aren&’t the happy-ever-after fairytales that Lana knows, they are darker and more dangerous, and the characters need Lana&’s help to defeat an evil witch. But she can&’t do it alone. Can she convince Harrison to believe in stories again and journey to the world with her. . . before it&’s too late? This is a story about stories, but it&’s also about a brother and a sister finding their way back to each other through the power of imagination. Ben Miller is an actor, director, and comedian, best known for writing and starring in The Armstrong and Miller Show and his role as Rowan Atkinson&’s sidekick, Bough, in Johnny English Strikes Back. Other recent big screen roles include What We Did On Our Holiday with Billy Connolly, and the much-loved Paddington 2 with, well, Paddington. On television, he is best known for the crime comedy drama Death In Paradise which has been a big hit worldwide.Praise for The Night I Met Father Christmas: 'A gorgeous tale brimming with the magic of Christmas. A sheer delight for all kids both big AND small.' Ruth Jones, award-winning writer and comedian 'Enchanting, funny and intriguing in equal measure' Philip Ardagh,bestselling author 'You can always tell when a children&’s book has been written by a brilliant father because there&’s a particular intimacy, warmth and mischievous humour that bubbles through it ... irresistible' Alexander Armstrong, presenter, comedian and writer 'A fire-side gem of a story' Abi Elphinstone, bestselling author Praise for The Boy Who Made the World Disappear: 'Fabulous' The Sunday Express 'As children's morality tales go, this is as satisfying as it gets' The Big Issue
The Day I Turned Uncool
by Dan ZevinSooner or later, each of us must face the day we develop a disturbing new interest in lawn care; the day we order sauvignon blanc instead of Rolling Rock; the day we refuse to see any concert where we cannot sit down. Sooner or later, each of us must face the day we turn uncool. Dan Zevin, who “was never exactly Fonz-like to begin with,” is having a hilariously hard time moving from his twenties to his thirties, and he confesses everything in these comic not-coming-of-age tales. As he shamefully employs his first cleaning lady, becomes abnormally attached to his dog, and commits flagrant acts of home improvement, Dan’s headed for an early midlife crisis—and a better-late-than-never revelation: Growing up is really nothing to be reluctant about. In fact, it’s very cool.