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Santa Duck and His Merry Helpers
by David MilgrimIt's Christmastime, so Nicholas Duck puts on his Santa's helper suit and proudly starts gathering wish lists for Santa. But this year, Nicholas's little brothers and sister want to help. Nicholas is not too keen on the idea, and when the overeager ducks try to outdo each other by promising outlandish gifts-the Hoover Dam for the beaver, a castle for the frog- Nicholas gets fed up. And as he tries to explain to his siblings what Christmas is all about, it turns out the kids have a thing or two to teach Nicholas about working together. With its funny text and illustrations, this story will have kids laughing as they celebrate the spirit of the season with Santa Ducks.
Santa Got Stuck in the Chimney: 20 Funny Poems Full of Christmas Cheer (Giggle Poetry)
by Kenn Nesbitt Mike Gordon Linda KnausLaugh your way through the holiday season! Kenn Nesbitt and Linda Knaus will light up your holiday celebration with this book of cheerful Christmas poetry. Nesbitt and Knaus teamed up to create 20 charming poems capturing all the things that could go wrong during the Christmas season, including hunting for a mall parking spot on the day after Thanksgiving, Santa getting stuck in the chimney, eating unusual foods at a potluck Christmas dinner, and more.With delightful illustrations by Mike and Carl Gordon, this collection is sure to bring extra cheer to young and old this holiday season!
Santa Jaws
by Bridget HeosWhile kids write notes to Santa Claus, / Sharks line up for Santa Jaws. / They tell him all their Christmas wishes. / Santa thinks they sound delicious!With bouncy, delightful rhymes, Bridget Heos' Santa Jaws celebrates Christmas under the sea. Every year, Santa Jaws delivers presents to his fellow sharks, spreading cheer wherever he goes. Elfin sharks make toys, horn sharks trim the Christmas kelp, and cookiecutter sharks make sure Santa doesn't go hungry. Get ready for a ride on Santa's sled (pulled, of course, by hammerheads) in this joyful holiday tale!
Santa Lives!: Five Conclusive Arguments for the Existence of Santa Claus
by Ellis WeinerIs Santa Claus real? The range of opinion regarding Clausite existence spans the complete gamut, from outright denial (There's no such thing as Santa Claus) to fervent affirmation (Yes there is and shut up). And yet, after six-point-two jillion (approximately) years of human history, neither side has so far been able to dissuade the other, leaving both entrenched in their respective positions. Until now. <P> For the first time, the thorny question of whether Santa Claus is real is definitively and hilariously answered. Ellis Weiner, the co-author of the best-selling Yiddish with Dick and Jane, gets to the very heart of this cultural and marketing icon whose existence continues to bedevil inquisitive children, befuddled parents, and toy retailers around the world. Using the kind of erudition and reasoning employed by the world's most advanced thinkers (and those people who make up standardized-test questions), Weiner offers five unimpeachable arguments for Santa's existence that are as inspired as they are insightful. <P> But wait, there's more: Readers will learn far more than just whether Santa Claus is real. Weiner also explores the history of Santa, the existence of napkins, and the subtle but crucial distinctions between birthday cake and fruitcake--all copiously footnoted for reading pleasure. Illustrated throughout (for those who get tired of looking at all those words), this book clarifies, once and for all, the truth about Santa Claus. So does Santa exist? Of course he does, you ninny.
Santa Monica: A Novel
by Cassidy LucasA debut novel in the vein of Liane Moriarty and Tom Perrotta, about dark secrets brought to life after the mysterious death of a handsome and charismatic trainer to the elite women in Santa Monica.On the western edge of Los Angeles is the gorgeous beachside city of Santa Monica, where the sun-kissed, wealthy residents seem to inhabit real-life California dreams. When movie-star-handsome heartthrob fitness coach Zack Doheny, is found dead on the floor of his gym, the tragedy shocks the elite community, especially those who’d spent many hours each week exercising with the charismatic trainer. As the narrative flashes back to the months leading up to Zack’s death, it quickly becomes clear that things in this coastal paradise are not as glittering as they seem. Lettie – Zack’s secret half-sister and an undocumented housekeeper for the toned, entitled women of Santa Monica – holds her brother responsible for a horrific family accident, and desperately needs his money to prevent her deportation. Regina, type-A exercise addict and entrepreneur, will do anything to get out of debt and to claim Zack for herself. And Mel – a New York City transplant who finds herself forty pounds heavier and far more cynical than the lithe women of Santa Monica – discovers an electric attraction to Zack that threatens to disrupt his bond with Regina and upend Mel’s own marriage. As these residents of Santa Monica begin to crack under the stress of their secrets, one question hangs above it all: what really happened to Zack Doheny? As addictively suspenseful as it is sharply observed, hilarious, and compassionate, Santa Monica is the rare novel that captures readers with propulsive storytelling alongside emotional urgency, irresistible characters, ambitious themes, and a vivid sense of place.
Santa Responds: He's Had Enough...and He's Writing Back!
by Santa ClausEver wonder what Santa does with all those letters? (And all those cookies?) After a particularly long, cold night staring at nine smelly reindeer butts, the old man lets loose with the real answers to those stupid, whiny, hard-to-read letters from kids. <P><P> Turns out, we really do get what we deserve. Dear Billy, I know you honestly believe that the good deeds you rattled off represent your behavior for the entire past year rather than the activities that occurred during the two hours leading up to the writing of this letter. Two hours of good behavior hardly justifies a new Playstation, let alone a trip to Disney World Your pal, Santa
Santa Rex
by Molly IdleFrom Caldecott-winning author-illustrator Molly Idle comes the perfect stocking stuffer for fans of Cordelia and her Cretaceous friends: Santa Rex!Christmas season has arrived, and nothing says holiday cheer quite like candy canes, hot cocoa, and DINOSAURS! Cordelia is celebrating her favorite winter holiday with her Cretaceous buddies and everything is just peachy--as long as nobody topples the Christmas tree. Oops...too late! This year, will Santa Rex bring her everything she asked for?
Santa Shark: A Great White Christmas
by Mike LoweryHere's Santa as you've never seen him before -- get ready for a hilariously, fintastic underwater holiday story, from New York Times bestselling creator Mike Lowery!Jingle shells, Jingle shells, jingle all the waves! Oh, what fun it is to dive in a sea horse-driven sleigh!While humans may count the days until Santa Claus arrives, deep in the ocean, Edgar, a goofy, toothy young shark prepares for the arrival of Santa Shark! But Lotta, his sidekick crab pal, is not as convinced. Still, Lotta helps Edgar get his home ready. In a race against time they prepare a tasty snack for Santa, write Christmas cods to their friends, and sing Christmas corals! Will Edgar find a way to make sure everything is just right for Santa Shark's big night?With laugh-out-loud humor, puns galore, and tons of holiday spirit, this story is sure to become an instant classic, beloved by parents and children for many holidays to come! So put up your Christmas reef and get ready to celebrate a Great White (Shark) Christmas from our New York Times bestselling and beloved creator, Mike Lowery!
Santa Speaks: The Wit And Wisdom Of Santas Across The Nation
by Michael Patrick Collins Dawn SheggebySanta Claus is real. In stores and schools and street corners all across the country each December, the jolly old elf exists. Santa Speaks is a celebration of all the real-life Santas who carry on the tradition of Saint Nicholas. What is it like, after all, to be the jolliest, most generous, and best loved man in the world? Santa Speaks takes a merry look at the red-clad few who step outside their usual lives each year to listen to our wishes. Thirty different Santas from around the United States, including a cowboy Santa in Texas, a Cajun Papa Noel in New Orleans, a showgirl Santa in Las Vegas, and a pro-wrestler-turned-Santa in New York share heartfelt and often hilarious true-life tales that evoke all the warmth, joy, laughter, and frustrations of the holiday season. This unique collection of photographs and first-hand stories will put a twinkle in the eye of gift-givers and recipients alike.
The Santa Suit (Holiday Homecoming)
by Karen Toller WhittenburgHOLIDAY HOMECOMINGThe man in the red suit...had a lot to answer for, in Kate Harmon's opinion! He'd let her down and now her twins' heads were filled-not with visions of sugarplums but kittens, dogs and a daddy!It'd be a cold midnight clear before that Christmas fancy came true, 'cause Kate didn't date-and Santa didn't exist.So why had the twins hired Gabe Housley to find him? And why did Kate hope Gabe-the man who'd kissed her and dismissed her last Christmas-was Santa's answer to the twins' wish list?
Santaland Diaries
by David SedarisA collection of surprising, disarming and 'extremely funny' essays from the internationally bestselling author of Me Talk Pretty One Day (Sunday Times) Santaland Diaries collects six of David Sedaris's most profound Christmas stories into one slender volume perfect for use as a last-minute coaster or ice-scraper. This drinking man's companion can be enjoyed by the warmth of a raging fire, the glow of a brilliantly decorated tree, or even in the back seat of a police car. It should be read with your eyes, felt with your heart, and heard only when spoken to. It should, in short, behave much like a book. And oh, what a book it is!'Sedaris writes with a gentle but unfailing acuity and a keen eye for the ridiculous ... extremely funny' -Sunday Times
Santa's Christmas Eve Blues
by Douglas LindsayIn this wonderful bitesize slice of yuletide magic, the very future of Christmas is in doubt. It's Christmas Eve, but just at the moment when he should be putting on his red suit and checking his beard for snowy whiteness, Santa is sitting in his underwear, drinking hot chocolate and singing the blues. Fortunately, anyone who thinks that Christmas can no longer be left in the hands of little people in green outfits, is about to be proved wrong. With fabulous characters and madcap rhymes, SANTA'S CHRISTMAS EVE BLUES is set to become a seasonal favourite with young and old for generations to come. SANTA'S CHRISTMAS EVE BLUES is a 5000-word short story. A cute little story with more than a disturbing truth about what Christmas has become. -- Not The Baseball Pitcher PRAISE FOR DOUGLAS LINDSAY: very nicely plotted, thickly laced with dark humour, with a little bit of everything thrown in - drama, intrigue, humour, mystery, tension, romance . . . my read of the year so far. ? The View From The Blue House on WE ARE THE HANGED MAN funny, dark, miserable, engrossing and as surprising as a Chippendale chair in the middle of an IKEA store. ? I Meant To Read That on THE UNBURIED DEAD Gloriously over the top, very bloody and very, very funny. ? Daily Telegraph on THE BARBER SURGEON'S HAIRSHIRT Lindsay's burlesque thrills offer no sex, no drugs, no desperation to be cool. Just straightforward adult story; fantastic plot, classic timing and gleeful delight in the grotesque. With more talent than Irvine Welsh could dream of, Lindsay has crafted a macabre masterpiece where content lives up to style. ? What's On on THE BARBER SURGEON'S HAIRSHIRT This chilling black comedy unfolds at dizzying speed. . . an impressive debut novel. ? Sunday Mirror on THE LONG MIDNIGHT OF BARNEY THOMSON This is pitch-black comedy spun from the finest writing. Fantastic plot, unforgettable scenes and plenty of twisted belly laughs. ? New Woman on THE LONG MIDNIGHT OF BARNEY THOMSON
Santa's First Christmas
by Mac BarnettMac Barnett and Sydney Smith team up for an unforgettable celebration of Christmas.We all know that Santa makes everyone&’s dreams come true every Christmas, but it turns out that he needs a little help getting into the holiday spirit himself. Instead of letting Santa get right back to work after he returns home to the North Pole on Christmas morning, his loyal elves want to make sure he experiences the same Christmas cheer he provides for others. With the perfect tree, lots of delicious treats, and, of course, presents, Santa experiences the magic of Christmas for the very first time.Beloved children&’s book creators Mac Barnett and Sydney Smith have unveiled Santa unlike ever seen before, and as a result, created a merry new Christmas classic.
Santa's Husband
by Daniel Kibblesmith A P. QuachOffering a fresh twist on Kris Kringle, a clever yet heartfelt book that tells the story of a black Santa, his white husband, and their life in the North Pole.Everyone knows that Santa Claus is jolly, but in Santa’s Husband, this cherished symbol of the holiday season is also black and gay, and married to an equally cheery man.In this witty and sweet illustrated Christmas tale, humor writer Daniel Kibblesmith introduces us to Mr. and Mr. Claus, and gives us a glimpse of their lives together. We see the Clauses sitting by the fire at their cozy North Pole home, vacationing at the beach, having an occasional disagreement, celebrating their wedding day, and comforting each other when some loudmouth people on television angrily dispute Santa’s appearance and lifestyle.In the weeks before Christmas, Santa’s husband helps with all the pre-Christmas work, from double-checking lists, to feeding the reindeer (organic gluten-free grains, of course), to negotiating labor disputes with the restive workshop elves. At the height of toy-making season, he even fills in for his busy hubby at the mall to ensure every child can meet the Big Guy in the red suit, and give him their wish list.As this charming book reminds us, Santa Claus can come in all shapes and colors and sizes—just like the children and families he visits all over the world each Christmas eve.Featuring beautiful watercolor pictures drawn by artist AP Quach, Santa’s Husband is a delightful gift for readers of all ages.
Santa's Little Helpers (Little Golden Book)
by Golden BooksMGM's classic cat-and-mouse duo Tom and Jerry are back in this action-packed Christmas Little Golden Book perfect for boys and girls aged 2-5 and lifelong fans of the series right on time for the new film. It's Christmas Eve, but Tom and Jerry still don't get along. They can't even decorate the house together. After a fight over what lights to put on the roof throws them in Santa Claus's sleigh without Santa, Tom and Jerry must work together to save Christmas for everyone. Kids ages 2-5 will love this epic Tom and Jerry Christmas adventure.
Santa's Puppy
by Catherine HapkaHomeward Bound meets Elf in this heartwarming tale for the whole family. Can Chris, Holly, and Ivy help Santa's dog Peppermint Bark jingle all the way home to the North Pole before Christmas Day ends?For 364 days of the year, Santa and his best friend, Peppermint Bark, are inseparable. Santa's fluffy white dog helps herd the reindeer, keep tabs on the elves, and check the list—twice. But though Peppermint Bark asks every Christmas, he never gets to join Santa on his sleigh ride around the world. Until the dog decides to stow away . . .When eight- and eleven-year-old Chris and Holly Kerstman discover a small white dog wedged in their chimney on Christmas morning, they can't imagine where he came from, until he tells them. Peppermint Bark is unlike any dog they and Holly's best friend, Ivy, have ever met: His breath smells of mint, faint jingle bells can be heard when he wags his tail, and he can talk! He tells the kids all about his secret sleigh ride and how he got accidentally left behind on their rooftop, but when it comes to answering the question of how he'll get home to the North Pole, Peppermint Bark is stumped. It's up to the kids to work together to get Peppermint Bark home before the last magical portal to the North Pole closes at midnight on Christmas Day. A Christmas tale with enough heartwarming moments and heart-pounding action to entertain the entire family this holiday!
Santiago: A Myth of the Far Future (The Santiago Saga)
by Mike ResnickWhen you&’re the most wanted man alive, your legend never dies. An adventure of interplanetary law and disorder from the multiple Hugo and Nebula Award-winning author. Santiago is a legend, known far and wide across the galaxy as the greatest killer and thief alive. He&’s the subject of songs, the faceless wanted poster on the wall, the bogeyman that parents name to scare their children into behaving. And he&’s the target of every bounty hunter in the universe. Sebastian Nightingale Cain has quite the reputation himself. Known as the Songbird, he&’s a former revolutionary who has killed hundreds of criminals for the right price. But one has always eluded him: Santiago. Now, Cain has gotten a lead on the elusive outlaw, and it&’s too hard to resist. In a race against a rival bounty hunter, Cain&’s quest will take him to the far-flung Frontier planets, where he&’ll encounter aliens and evangelists, journalists and cyborgs—all of whom have a stake in finding or protecting Santiago. But unraveling the threads of Santiago&’s life might get Cain tangled up in something far bigger than he ever imagined . . . &“This is one of those once-in-a-lifetime, never-to-be-duplicated stories that ensnare you in such a wondrous universe that you never, ever want to leave. It will spawn a half dozen sequels and two dozen or more imitators that will feed on our enrapture . . . but there will be only one Santiago.&” —The Evening Sun
The Santiago Saga: Santiago * The Return of Santiago (The Santiago Saga)
by Mike ResnickNow in one volume: the duology featuring the folk hero who leaves a mark on the galaxy that can never be erased—from the multiple Hugo and Nebula Award-winning author.Santiago Sebastian Cain is a former revolutionary who has killed hundreds of criminals for the right price. But one has always eluded him: Santiago. Now, Cain has gotten a lead on the elusive outlaw, and it&’s too hard to resist. But unraveling the threads of Santiago&’s life might get him tangled up in something far bigger than he ever imagined . . . &“This is one of those once-in-a-lifetime, never-to-be-duplicated stories that ensnare you in such a wondrous universe that you never, ever want to leave. It will spawn a half-dozen sequels and two dozen or more imitators that will feed on our enrapture . . . but there will be only one Santiago.&” —The Baltimore Evening SunThe Return of Santiago Petty thief Danny Briggs discovers the original manuscript of the balladeer who wandered the spaceways a hundred years ago, recording the adventures of larger-than-life heroes, villains, and misfits—including Santiago. The find inspires him to write a new epic. All he needs is his century&’s version of the infamous criminal . . .Praise for Mike Resnick &“Resnick is thought-provoking, imaginative . . . and above all galactically grand.&” —Los Angeles Times &“Nobody spins a yarn better than Mike Resnick.&” —Orson Scott Card, New York Times–bestselling author of Ender&’s Game
Santo PRI, líbranos el PAN (Colección Rius #Volumen)
by RiusSí, correcto, nos dice Rius, con el PAN casi nos quedamos sin país, pero si regresa el PRI prepárense para, por lo menos, otros 70 años de dictadura pluscuamperfecta. Como ahora resulta que el PRI puede regresar a LOS PINOS revestido y encopetado, Rius nos cura en salud asestándonos un espectacular recordatorio de lo que han sido y siguen siendo los priistas, a pesar de que los panistas hayan resultado peores.
The Santorini Marriage
by Margaret MayoWhen fresh-faced Rhianne Pickering agrees to work for masterful Greek Zarek Diakos she knows it’s a mistake-no man has ever made her heart quicken and her body quiver like this! But with her life in tatters she needs a job. To his convenient wife! Zarek thinks Rhianne makes the perfect secretary. But on a business trip to the beautiful island of Santorini he decides her skills are undervalued. He’s in need of a bride; under the warm Mediterranean sun he’ll show Rhianne it’s a position she can’t refuse!
Sarah and the Secret Sheikh
by Michelle DouglasExpecting the sheikh’s baby…When one magical night with gorgeous and enigmatic Majed leaves Sarah pregnant, she’s torn apart over whether to reveal her secret. She already loves this baby, but will confirmed bachelor Majed feel the same?Discovering he’s going to be a father changes everything for Majed. It’s time to face the music and unveil his true identity as Prince of Keddah Jaleel! He’d love to make Sarah his sheikha, if only he can convince her she’ll be much more than his convenient bride...
Sarah Palin's Expert Guide to Good Grammar: What You Can Learn from Someone Who Doesn't Know Right from Write
by Jenny BaranickA hilarious, informative guide to language and grammar inspired by America’s favorite maverick.It would seem to go without saying that a strong understanding of how to use language properly and effectively is a requisite for success in the 21st century. And yet, increasingly even some of America’s most prominent public figures and leaders seem to have only the most tenuous grasp of how to put together a coherent sentence or paragraph. No individual could be more representative of this unfortunate national tendency than Sarah Palin-the former Governor of Alaska, Fox News pundit, and now campaign surrogate for Donald Trump (another public figure with only a passing familiarity with how to use the English language).Time and again, Ms. Palin finds ways to bungle basic tenets of vocabulary, syntax, and grammar, often giving speeches or interviews that upon reexamination read more like the drunken ravings of someone unhinged. But it is for this very reason that Ms. Palin can be a great example for all Americans. Often it is only possible to learn from making mistakes, and Ms. Palin has made plenty. This book will be a guide that uses the colorful and chaotic language of Ms. Palin to illustrate key lessons of how (not) to write and speak well.
Sarah und Sophie gehen zur Schule für Zwillinge
by Beatrice Pires-Stadler Teddy Rose O'MalleySarah und Sophie beginnen die zweite Klasse an einer Schule für Zwillinge. Sie machen Feinde und Freunde und müssen einspringen, wenn Freundinnen sich zerstreiten. Dies ist jedoch das geringste ihrer Probleme. Wenn der Schulleiter plant, alle Zwillinge dazu zu zwingen, sich gleich anzuziehen, nehmen Sarah und Sophie Stellung. Es wird Ärger geben - im Eiltempo.
The Sarcasm Handbook
by Lawrence Dorfman James Michael NaccaratoFrom the author of the bestselling Snark series comes the premiere guide to satire, sneering, jeering, and mockery in their finest forms. A surviving knight of many a verbal joust, Larry Dorfman has become an expert at backhanded sass and cathartic banter.Featuring life lessons from the master himself, as well as quotes and quips by some of history’s sarcastic greats, The Sarcasm Handbook teaches readers how to deflect stupidity and express their inner dissatisfaction with a keen sensibility, hushing subtlety, and wisecrack wit. Included in these invaluable teachings are chapters on achieving the right tone, sarcastic bastards in history, as well as scenarios depicting some of the greatest moments in sarcasm.So pick up your copy today and start learning the art of disparagement through passive aggressiveness!
Sari, Not Sari
by Sonya SinghThis delightful debut rom-com follows the adventures of a woman trying to connect with her South Asian roots and introduces readers to a memorable cast of characters in a veritable feast of food, family traditions, and fun.Manny Dogra is the beautiful young CEO of Breakup, a highly successful company that helps people manage their relationship breakups. As preoccupied as she is with her business, she&’s also planning her wedding to handsome architect Adam Jamieson while dealing with the loss of her beloved parents. For reasons Manny has never understood, her mother and father, who were both born in India, always wanted her to become an &“All-American&” girl. So that&’s what she did. She knows next to nothing about her South Asian heritage, and that&’s never been a problem—until her parents are no longer around, and an image of Manny that&’s been Photoshopped to make her skin look more white appears on a major magazine cover. Suddenly, the woman who built an empire encouraging people to be true to themselves is having her own identity crisis. But when an irritating client named Sammy Patel approaches Manny with an odd breakup request, the perfect solution presents itself: If they both agree to certain terms, he&’ll give her a crash course in being &“Indian&” at his brother&’s wedding. What follows is days of dancing and dal, masala and mehndi as Manny meets the lovable, if endlessly interfering, aunties and uncles of the Patel family, and, along the way, discovers much more than she could ever have anticipated.