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The Front Porch Prophet
by Raymond L AtkinsWhat do a trigger-happy bootlegger with pancreatic cancer, an alcoholic helicopter pilot who is afraid to fly, and a dead guy with his feet in a camp stove have in common? What are the similarities between a fire department that cannot put out fires, a policeman who has a historic cabin fall on him from out of the sky, and an entire family dedicated to a variety of deceased authors? Where can you find a war hero named Termite with a long knife stuck in his liver, a cook named Hoghead who makes the world's worst coffee, and a supervisor named Pillsbury who nearly gets hung by his employees? Sequoyah, Georgia, is the answer. After a long absence, A. J. Longstreet finds his best friend since childhood, Eugene Purdue, on his doorstep. Eugene now has terminal cancer, and he confronts A. J. with the dilemma of executing a mercy killing when the time arrives. An adventure into the past begins for the both of them, and soon one must make a decision that will alter his life forever.
The Front Wing
by Mike BefelerAnother thrilling mystery starring the residents of a highly unusual retirement home, by the author of The Back Wing… Harold McCaffrey has been at Mountain Splendor Retirement Home for three months—getting to know the aging witches, werewolves, and other fellow residents. Right now, he&’s helping at an open house by taking names for a waiting list of people wanting to move into the Front Wing of the facility. Then, there&’s a sudden commotion—and a dead body is found in the lobby. With the help of his witchy girlfriend, Bella Alred, Harold must solve the mystery of why people on the waiting list are dying… From a two-time nominee for the Lefty Award for Humorous Mystery whose work has been acclaimed as &“very, very funny&” (Kirkus Reviews), this is a uniquely quirky paranormal mystery.
The Frontman: A Novel
by Ron BaharRon Bahar is an insecure, self-deprecating, seventeen-year-old Nebraskan striving to please his Israeli immigrant parents, Ophira and Ezekiel, while remaining true to his own dreams. During his senior year of high school, he begins to date longtime crush and non-Jewish girl Amy Andrews—a forbidden relationship he hides from his parents. But that&’s not the only complicated part of Ron&’s life: he&’s also struggling to choose between his two passions, medicine and music. As time goes on, he becomes entangled in a compelling world of sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Will he do the right thing? A fictionalized memoir of the author&’s life as a young man in Lincoln, Nebraska, The Frontman is a coming-of-age tale of love and fidelity.
The Frood: The Authorised and Very Official History of Douglas Adams & The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
by Jem RobertsAs a wise ape once observed, space is big – vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly so. However, if you look too closely at space, it becomes nothing but lumps of rock and sundry gases. Sometimes it's necessary to take a step back, and let a few billion years go by, before any of the true wonder and scope of the cosmos becomes apparent. Similarly, the late 20th century author, humorist and thinker Douglas Adams was big – vastly, hugely and thoroughly mind-bogglingly so, both in physical terms, and as a writer who has touched millions of readers, firing up millions of cerebellums all over planet Earth, for over 35 years – and for nearly half of that time, he hasn't even been alive. It would be ridiculous to pretend that Douglas Adams's life and work has gone unexamined since his dismayingly early death at 49 but throughout the decade since the last book to tackle the subject, the universes Adams created have continued to develop, to beguile and expand minds, and will undoubtedly do so for generations to come. An all-new approach to the most celebrated creation of Douglas Adams is therefore most welcome, and The Frood tells the story of Adams's explosive but agonizingly constructed fictional universe, from his initial inspirations to the posthumous sequel(s) and adaptations, bringing together a thousand tales of life as part of the British Comedy movements of the late 70s and 80s along the way. With the benefit of hindsight and much time passed, friends and colleagues have been interviewed for a fresh take on the man and his works.
The Fry Chronicles: An Autobiography
by Stephen FryThe British actor, writer, and comedy legend tells his story: “Funny, poignant . . . His prose feels like an ideal form of conversation.” —The Washington PostA #1 Sunday Times BestsellerWhen Stephen Fry arrived at Cambridge, he was a convicted thief, an addict, and a failed suicide, convinced that he would be expelled. Instead, university life offered him love and the chance to entertain. He befriended bright young things like Hugh Laurie and Emma Thompson, and delighted audiences with Blackadder and A Bit of Fry and Laurie. Covering most of his twenties, this is the riotous and utterly compelling story of how the Stephen the world knows (or thinks it knows) took his first steps in theater, radio, television, and film. Tales of scandal and champagne jostle with insights into hard-earned stardom. The Fry Chronicles is not afraid to confront the chasm that separates public image from private feeling, and it is marvelously rich in trademark wit and verbal brilliance.“Charming.” —The Wall Street Journal“Genuinely touching and often hilarious.” —Publishers Weekly
The Fuck It List: All The Things You Can Skip Before You Die
by Kevin PryslakFace it, life is short and who has time to see 1000 places, read 1000 more "classics" or see 1000 movies somebody else deems essential, and all that nonsense? Here is a list of 101 things you should never bother with from the fiendishly clever mind of Kevin Pryslak. The F*ck It List is a hilarious middle-finger salute to all those absurd life goals that will ensure an anxiety-filled middle age will be followed by shame-filled golden years. It pokes a sorely needed pin into a bloated rite of passage that's ripe for deflation. Do you really need to firewalk or didn't Oprah and Tony Robbins take care of that for us? Swimming with sharks is a really dumb idea, so let's leave that with the gullible reality tv desperadoes, shall we? Kevin Pryslak has come up with a "to don't list" that will have you laughing out loud and leave you with lots more time to do the all the things YOU really want to do!
The Fuck Up
by Arthur NersesianArthur Nersesian's underground literary treasure is an unforgettable slice of gritty New York City life.This is the darkly hilarious odyssey of an anonymous slacker. He's a perennial couch-surfer, an aspiring writer searching for himself in spite of himself, and he's just trying to survive. But life has other things in store for the fuck-up. From being dumped by his girlfriend to getting fired for asking for a raise, from falling into a robbery to posing as a gay man to keep his job at a porno theater, the fuck-up's tragi-comedy is perfectly realized by Arthur Nersesian, who manages to create humor and suspense out of urban desperation. "Read it and howl," says Bruce Benderson (author of User), "and be glad it didn't happen to you."
The Fugitive Pigeon
by Donald E. WestlakeThis &“high comedy of errors [and] murder&” with a cat-and-mouse plot is &“real fun on the run&” from the Edgar Award–winning Grand Master of Mystery (Kirkus Reviews). Charlie Poole is a bum. His friends know it. His gangster uncle Al knows it. And Charlie himself knows it better than anyone. He&’s stuck with his meager lot, tending bar at his uncle&’s Brooklyn dive, picking up the occasional package . . . and being a bum. But when two mob hit men show up out of the blue and inform him that his breathing days are over, Charlie doesn&’t feel like a bum anymore. He feels like an extremely fast runner. Because not having much of a life is still way better than not having any life at all. Now, the hapless Charlie is on the lam with a pair of heavies on his tail. And over the next few days, he stumbles into a murder he gets blamed for, meets a gorgeous gal he could fall for, discovers what he&’s willing to fight for—and finds out just why the hell anyone would want to kill a bum like him . . . Praise for Donald E. Westlake &“Westlake has no peer in the realm of comic mystery novelists.&” —San Francisco Chronicle &“No writer can excel Donald E. Westlake.&” —Los Angeles Times
The Full Catastrophe: A Novel
by David CarkeetA New York Times Notable Book: &“A comic chronicle of marital misunderstandings . . . Eccentric, hilarious, wildly inventive&” (Los Angeles Times). Linguist Jeremy Cook knows how language works, but he doesn&’t know how marriage works. In fact, he is strangely hostile to the institution. So Cook is naturally uneasy about his job with a St. Louis firm specializing in &“the linguistically troubled marriage.&” His assignment is to move in with Dan and Beth Wilson, a prosperous suburban couple with an impoverished relationship, to analyze their problems with verbal communication and help them—if he can. But as Cook catalogs the Wilsons&’ missed signs and signals, he becomes increasingly, and unscientifically, involved . . . &“Read this terrific book.&” —Los Angeles Times &“With humor and insight, Mr. Carkeet&’s fourth novel addresses the commonest of social diseases—a failing marriage—with the least likely of therapies: a live-in linguist.&” —The New York Times Book Review &“Carkeet&’s premise is fresh, his characters utterly winning and his comic observations full of affection for those caught up in the complex confusions of love. Laugh-out-loud scenes and swift, convincing dialogue.&” —Publishers Weekly
The Full Cupboard Of Life (No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency #5)
by Alexander McCall SmithTHE FIFTH BOOK IN THE BELOVED NO. 1 LADIES' DETECTIVE AGENCY SERIESThe one where J. L. B. Matekoni takes a great leap . . . Once again, Mma Ramotswe is asked to look into the love lives of fellow Botswanans: a rich woman has a number of suitors and wants her to investigate their motives. But to tell the truth, it is her own love life about which Precious wants answers. She has been engaged to Mr J.L.B. Matekoni for so long that she is starting to wonder if they will ever marry. His mind, though, is elsewhere - Mma Potokwani has persuaded him to perform a parachute jump for charity, and he is not happy about it at all . . .
The Full Cupboard Of Life (No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency #5)
by Alexander McCall SmithMma Ramotswe, who became engaged to Mr J.L.B. Matekoni at the end of the first audiobook, is still engaged. She wonders when a day for the wedding will be named, but she is anxious to avoid putting too much pressure on her fiance. For indeed he has other things on his mind - notably a frightening request made of him by Mma Potokwani, pushy matron of the Orphan Farm.Mma Ramotswe herself has weighty matters on her mind. She has been approached by a wealthy lady - whose fortune comes from successful hair-braiding salons - and has been asked to check up on several suitors. Are these men just interested in her money? This may be difficult to find out, but Mma Ramotswe is, of course, a very intuitive lady . . .
The Full Cupboard of Life (No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency #5)
by Alexander Mccall SmithHere is the fifth novel in the internationally bestselling No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency hit series. Once again we are transported to Gaborone, capital city of Botswana, and into the world of Mma Ramotswe and her friends. THE NO. 1 LADIES' DETECTIVE AGENCY. FOR ALL CONFIDENTIAL MATTERS AND ENQUIRIES. SATISFACTION GUARANTEED FOR ALL PARTIES. UNDER PERSONAL MANAGEMENT. Mma Ramotswe and Mr. J. L. B. Matekoni are still engaged, but with no immediate plans to get married. Mma Ramotswe wonders wh...
The Full Ridiculous: A Novel
by Mark LamprellMichaelo O'Dell is hit by a car, and when he doesn't die, he is surprised and pleased. But he can't seem to move, frozen in the crash position. He can't concentrate, or control his anger and grief, or work out what to do about much of anything. His professional life begins to crumble, and although his wife Wendy is heroically supportive, his teenage children only exacerbate his post-accident angst. His daughter Rosie punches out a vindictive schoolmate, plunging the family into a special parent-teacher hell. Meanwhile, his son Declan is found with a stash of illicit drugs, and a strange policeman starts harassing the family, causing ordinary mishaps to take on a sinister desperation.Equal parts hilarious and painful, this compelling novel delves into the difficulties of family, love, and the precarious business of being a man. Mark Lamprell's extraordinary debut examines the terrible truth: sometimes you can't pull yourself together until you've completely fallen apart.
The Full Ridiculous: A Novel
by Mark LamprellA funny, compelling novel about love, family, and the precarious business of being a man.Michael O’Dell is hit by a car. When he doesn’t die, he is surprised and pleased. But he can’t seem to move from the crash position. In fact, the accident is just the first in a series of family crises: His wife Wendy is heroically supportive, but when his daughter Rosie punches out a vindictive schoolmate, all hell breaks loose. His son Declan is found with a stash of illicit drugs. A strange policeman starts harassing the family and ordinary mishaps take on a sinister desperation. To top it all off, Michael’s professional life starts to crumble.Mark Lamprell’s extraordinary debut examines the terrible truth: sometimes you can’t pull yourself together until you’ve completely fallen apart.
The Fundies: The Essential Hockey Guide from On the Bench
by Olly Postanin Jacob ArdownPutting the old-school grease back in hockey, in the first ever written eppie!Do you have trouble sniping top corns or landing a big conny? Keep missing the net in praccy or losing all your tillys? Well boys, you might need the fundies. Canadian beauties Olly Postanin and Jacob Ardown are natural athletes, and are here to show you how to be a weapon on the ice. All the big-leaguers (like Connor McDavid and Drew Doughty, not a big deal) come to Olly and Jacob for help on hockey fundamentals (the fundies); now you can get the insider tips and tricks to become a legend yourself. With their crucie knowledge of what makes hockey the best game in the world and all the greatest chirps, there is no other book like The Fundies. This guide to dominating the sport covers everything: history, skills development, throwing folded fives, training and choosing equipment, coaching, and all the ways to get respect on and off the ice. The boys will grease you through all you need to know and, if you stay focused, you’ll learn the essential skills necessary to dominate in the game. Throw on a bucket: you’re about to be hit with some grade A knowledge. From blocking biscuits and tickling twine to the perfect post-goal celly to impress the scouties, The Fundies is here to teach you how hockey is supposed to be played.
The Funniest & Grossest Joke Book Ever!: Over 991 Jokes!
by Editors of Portable PressMake your friends giggle, guffaw, and groan with disgust at over 900 jokes in this massive volume that combines two hilarious books in one. It&’s a 2-for-1 of epic proportions. This book combines our two bestselling kids&’ joke books: The Funniest Joke Book Ever! and The Grossest Joke Book Ever! Do you know a kid who likes Q&A jokes, knock-knocks, puns, riddles, or one-liners? Of course you do! This collection has all that and more—over 900 jokes—actually. Perfect for boys or girls, it spans all kid-friendly topics, including fairy tales, animals, monsters, and disgusting jokes that&’ll make them (and you) want to barf. They&’ll laugh out loud at zingers like: Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch? A: Beef jerky! Q: Do zombies eat candy with their fingers? A: No, they eat the fingers separately. Q: What kind of life was found on Pluto? A: Fleas! And many more!
The Funniest Baseball Book Ever: The National Pastime's Greatest Quips, Quotations, Characters, Nicknames, and Pranks
by Peter HandrinosA treasury of witty quotes and wild stories covering decades of baseball history.Baseball is a funny game. No other sport can compare to the national pastime’s vast catalog of silly quotations, unforgettable characters, memorable nicknames, and inventive pranks.Alphabetized by topic, The Funniest Baseball Book Ever captures the game in all its humorous glory. It’s simply the most complete, contemporary resource for over a century of the sport’s history. Also included are short profiles of such colorful characters as Casey Stengel, Bill Veeck, Jim Bouton, and Bill Lee. With over ninty percent of its material never before collected in a single volume, The Funniest Baseball Book Ever will entertain and surprise everyone from casual fans to diehards, from newcomers to veterans.
The Funniest Joke Book Ever!: Over 500 Jokes to Crack Up Your Friends!
by Bathroom Readers' InstituteGiggles, groans, and belly laughs, packed on every page.Kids can’t resist sharing jokes (even you try to stop them), so they always need a fresh supply. We’ve stuffed the pages of this little joke book with the funniest jokes we could find. Old favorites, new favorites, and a few festering stinkers—all guaranteed to make kids laugh out loud. You'll find Q&A jokes, knock-knock jokes, riddles, and one-liners. And, of course, we’ve included entire chapters of those all-time kid-pleasers: elephant jokes, pirate jokes, and space jokes. Here’s a sampling: What's black and white, black and white, black and white? A penguin rolling down a hill. Why don’t zombies eat clowns?They taste funny. Why did the hen scold her chicks?They were using fowl language. What kind of books do skunks read?Best-smellers! How does Darth Vader like his toast?On the dark side.
The Funniest Kids' Joke Book Ever
by Alan KatzTry not to laugh! Jokes for kids so funny they'll have you on the ground in no time!I crossed a fish with an elephant.What did you get?Swim trunks!Who’s a golfer’s favorite wizard?Harry Putter!Careful, the jokes in this book are so funny you might just laugh your socks off! From knock knocks to puns a plenty, The Funniest Joke Book Ever For Kids is positively overflowing with funny! It even has activities and fill-in-the-blanks for making your very own jokes. Can you read the whole thing without laughing? Bet you can't! It's all brought to you by author and funny man Alan Katz.
The Funniest Knock Knock Jokes Ever!
by Editors of Portable PressGiggles, groans, and belly laughs, packed on every page.Kids can't resist sharing jokes (even when you try to stop them), so they always need a fresh supply. We've stuffed the pages of this little book with the funniest knock-knock jokes we could find. Old favorites, new favorites, and a few festering stinkers—all guaranteed to make kids laugh out loud.Here's a sampling:Knock, knock. Who's there? Cowsgo. Cowsgo who? No, they don't. Cowsgo MOO!Knock, knock. Who's there? Nobel. Nobel who? No bell, that's why I knocked!Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting pirate! Interrup— ARRRRRRRRRR!
The Funniest Man in Baseball: The True Story of Max Patkin
by Audrey Vernick Jennifer BowerA hilarious picture book biography about Max Patkin, a professional ballplayer turned legendary baseball clown, from the author of the acclaimed Brothers at Bat and other baseball nonfiction. Max Patkin was pitching in the minor leagues when he was injured and had to leave his dreams behind. He joined the Navy and eventually was able to play again while in the military . . . and this time he got to pitch against superstar Joe DiMaggio. When Joe hit one of Max’s throws out of the park, Max threw down his glove, left the mound, and chased Joe around the bases, making faces and imitating his every move. The crowd loved it! And a baseball clown was born. This inspiring and comical biography carries an important message: Life doesn’t always turn out exactly as you hope . . . but moving in a new direction can sometimes bring happy surprises.
The Funny Book (Bobo and Pup-Pup #3)
by Vikram MadanA hilarious graphic chapter book series about best friends Bobo and Pup-Pup--a monkey and a dog with very different personalities. Perfect for fans of Elephant & Piggie who are ready to graduate to two new buddies!A super funny book has Pup-Pup literally laughing out loud!! Bobo wants to read it so he can laugh too, but he must wait till Pup-Pup is finished. But the more Pup-Pup laughs, the harder it is to wait! All kids know that waiting is not easy!! What happens when Bobo's patience runs out and he takes matters into his own hands? This hilarious and relatable graphic chapter book will have kids ages 5-8 laughing out loud themselves while gaining confidence in reading. Readers will eagerly devour the companion books in the series, We Love Bubbles! and Let's Make Cake! Graphic chapter books serve as a great bridge to graphic novels and longer chapter books.
The Funny Boy Adventures: Four Hilarious Books in One Volume (Funny Boy)
by Dan GutmanA special four-in-one edition of Dan Gutman&’s hilarious and delightful Funny Boy seriesIn Funny Boy Meets the Airsick Alien from Andromeda, Funny Boy—a smart-aleck from the planet Crouton with the galaxy&’s best sense of humor—shoots his brother with a spitball, and his parents strap him into a spaceship and blast him to Earth. Things get strange right away. A planet-gobbling alien is about to attack his new home, and Funny Boy doesn&’t have any weapons besides a talking dog and a razor-sharp wit.In Funny Boy Versus the Bubble-Brained Barbers from the Big Bang, Funny Boy, just like Superman, has mastered the powers he gained when he landed on Earth. He&’s not super strong or super fast, but his super sense of humor lets him crack jokes faster than a speeding bullet. Now he must face the least hilarious thing in the universe: the first day of school. As he tries to fit in among his human peers, Funny Boy learns that three intergalactic barbers have come to steal every strand of hair on Earth. He&’ll have to dust off his freshest material to stop them, because everybody knows there&’s nothing funny about a bad haircut.In Funny Boy Takes on the Chit-Chatting Cheeses from Chattanooga, the nation&’s cattle have gotten too smart for their own good. Tired of letting humans steal their milk, American cows have gone on strike. This is trouble for anybody who likes cheese. Funny Boy is mourning the cheese shortage when five giant cheeses fall on Wisconsin, and then begin to talk. The cheeses are aliens from the faraway planet Chattanooga, and they have come to stop the shortage. The country&’s woe is ended, but something about the aliens&’ story stinks worse than month-old Muenster. It will take Funny Boy and his galactic sense of humor to curdle these curds before America starts to spoil.And in Funny Boy Meets the Dumbbell Dentist from Deimos (with Dangerous Dental Decay), Funny Boy&’s super-powered sense of humor has won him the love of his life: Tupper Camembert. But this riddle-flinging superhero&’s work is far from over. When the president of the United States is summoned for a cleaning with Dr. Denny the dentist, he knows something is wrong—he doesn&’t even have an appointment! This is a job for Funny Boy, who must once again use every joke in his arsenal to destroy the evil dentist villain and his hygienist henchmen.
The Funny Bunny Fly
by Bethany StrakerSomething doesn't smell right at Mr. Abel Throppe's bakery. Eighteen customers are sick, and they're blaming it on his pie! What could have caused this awful epidemic? It seems a funny bunny fly has taken up residence in the bakery. You see, Funny Bunny Fly doesn't like to be clean. Prior to entering the bakery, he rolled in some dog doo-doo and is spreading germs all over town! Mr. Throppe better keep his bakery clean, or he's going to lose his customers and gain a permanent new tenant.The Funny Bunny Fly is a cautionary tale about hygiene that's playful and fun. Bethany Straker's silly rhymes are complemented by her colorful and wacky illustrations. The Funny Bunny Fly is sure to keep the laughter bubbling-and, hopefully, the soap too!
The Funny Business
by Kevin J. AndersonSometimes you just want to be silly. #1 Bestselling author Kevin J. Anderson is known for his grand science fiction sagas, his epic fantasies, his fast-paced adventures, or his steampunk Clockwork chronicles. But Kevin J. Anderson also has a lighter side. You’ll laugh so hard, brains will come out your nose. What happens when— A wimpy, henpecked man finds an enchanted loincloth that turns him into a real jungle Ape Man? A stranded alien uses his advanced technology to fool audiences as a stage magician? A frustrated monster-movie actor uses a gypsy witch’s special makeup to turn into a real werewolf when the cameras start to roll? A group of heavy-metal fans finds a spell on the internet to raise their favorite dead rock star from the grave for a final encore? A vampire, just minding his own business, wakes from his coffin to find he’s being stalked through his own castle by an over-enthusiastic vampire hunter? A futuristic law firm uses time travel as a legal loophole to win their client’s case? Dan Shamble, Zombie P.I. takes on the Boogeyman for a client, or is hired out to save a sacrificial Aztec Christmas turkey? These twenty stories cover a range of slapstick, subtle, short-short, and groaner humor. The Funny Business also includes for the very first time the scripts of the hilarious comic miniseries Grumpy Old Monsters, never before published. Beware—silliness ahead. Open the book, and prepare to snicker!