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The Funny Christmas Stocking Filler Book
by Jonathan SwanSay stuffing balls to Christmas and survive the festive season with The Funny Christmas Stocking Filler BookGuaranteed to entertain and amuse, this book contains everything you need to get you from the turkey to the Queen’s speech! It’s the perfect distraction from rubbish Christmas telly and tipsy relatives, and could even help you dodge the washing up. The Funny Christmas Stocking Filler Book is packed full of hilarious games, dubious jokes and fun Christmas facts. Involve your sleeping relatives in a game of human buckaroo, play sprout golf or the Christmas movie charade game, or entertain the family with amazing Christmas trivia. For best results, consume with alcohol!
The Funny Man: A Novel (A\novel Ser.)
by John WarnerThe funny man is a middling comic in an unnamed city. By day he takes care of his infant son, by night he performs in small clubs, sandwiched between other aspiring comics. His wife waits tables to support the family. It doesn't sound like much, but they're happy, more or less. Until the day he comes up with it. His thing. His gimmick. And everything changes. He's a headliner, and the venues get bigger fast. Pretty soon it's Hollywood and a starring role in a blockbuster, all thanks to the gimmick. Which is: He performs with his fist in his mouth to the wrist. Jokes, impressions, commercials--all with his fist in his mouth to the wrist. The people want him--are crazy for him--but only with his fist in his mouth. And the funny man, he is tired of having his fist in his mouth. Thus, as the novel begins, his career's in tatters, his family's left him, and he's on trial for shooting an unarmed man six times. But for the second time in his life, against all odds, he's found love. This time with another celebrity, who may or may not be sending him coded messages, and may or may not be equally in love--or even know he exists. A coruscating satire of our culture of celebrity, this debut novel documents one individual's slide from everyman to monster, even as it reveals the potential for grace--and mercy--in his life.
The Funny Side of Faith: A Lighthearted Look at Life in the Church
by Murray WattsOops! There's pie on our face More fun than a potluck supper, these delightful anecdotes, tongue-in-cheek wisecracks, and verbal miscues will leave you laughing in the aisles. Need a quip to lift your spirits? A one-liner for your next sermon? THE FUNNY SIDE OF FAITH serves up the inside scoop on God's family with delectible wit and humor. A delight to all who enjoy the gift of laughter. Best of all, the jokes are on us!
The Funny Thing About Norman Foreman: A Novel
by Julietta Henderson"Charming, warm and uplifting...there is so much to love about this book."—Laurie Frankel, New York Times bestselling author of This is How It Always IsA triumphant and touching debut about the unlikeliest superstar you&’ll ever meet.Twelve-year-old Norman Foreman and his best friend, Jax, are a legendary comedic duo in waiting, with a plan to take their act all the way to the Edinburgh Fringe. But when Jax dies, Norman decides the only fitting tribute is to perform at the festival himself. The problem is, Norman&’s not the funny one. Jax was.There&’s also another, far more colossal objective on Norman&’s new plan that his single mom, Sadie, wasn&’t ready for: he wants to find the father he&’s never known. Determined to put a smile back on her boy&’s face, Sadie resolves to face up to her own messy past, get Norman to the Fringe and help track down a man whose identity is a mystery, even to her.Julietta Henderson&’s delightfully funny and tender debut takes us on a road trip with a mother and son who will live in the reader&’s heart for a long time to come, and teaches us that—no matter the odds—we must always reach for the stars.
The Funny Thing Is...
by Ellen DeGeneresAn indispensable reference for anyone who knows how to read—or wants to fool people into thinking they do—The Funny Thing Is... is sure to make you laugh.Ellen DeGeneres published her first book of comic essays, the #1 bestselling My Point...And I Do Have One, way back in 1996. Not one to rest on her laurels, the witty star of stage and screen has since dedicated her life to writing a hilarious new book. That book is this book. After years of painstaking, round-the-clock research, surviving on a mere twenty minutes of sleep a night, and collaborating with lexicographers, plumbers, and mathematicians, DeGeneres has crafted a work that is both easy to use and very funny. Along with her trademark ramblings, The Funny Thing Is... contains hundreds of succinct insights into her psyche and offers innovative features including: -More than 50,000 simple, short words arranged in sentences that form paragraphs. -Thousands of observations on everyday life—from terrible fashion trends to how to handle seating arrangements for a Sunday brunch with Paula Abdul, Diane Sawyer, and Eminem. -All twenty-six letters of the alphabet.
The Furball Files
by Jan AdkinsMax has a new pet rat, Furball! When Furball begins to act a little strangely, Max reaches out to Dr. Pett, a veterinarian. As they exchange emails, Max shares odd symptoms that seem unbelievable!
The Furry and the Furious
by Tracey West Style GuideEnjoy two stories of two kung fu foes--one furry, one furious--in this illustrated chapter book based on popular episodes of Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness.This chapter book contains two stories with black-and-white illustrations throughout, one starring Shifu and the other starring Viper, and both based on episodes of the popular and Emmy Award-winning television show Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness.In the first story, a lizard named Master Chao appears to be trying to oust the elderly Master Shifu. Then Shifu's enemy, a furry emperor tamarin named Pai Mei, arrives and threatens to destroy him. Will Shifu prove that with age comes wisdom, and can he outsmart Pai Mei once and for all?In the second story, a furious cobra named Fu-xi attacks the Valley of Peace, causing the villagers to express their hatred for snakes. Viper is stuck in the middle. Will she help his fellow snake, Fu-xi? Or will she stay loyal to his friends?Kung Fu Panda Legends of Awesomeness © 2014 Viacom International Inc. NICKELODEON and all related logos are trademarks of Viacom International Inc. Based on the feature film "Kung Fu Panda" © 2008 DreamWorks Animation L.L.C. All Rights Reserved.
The Further Adventures of Hank the Cowdog (Hank the Cowdog Series, #2)
by John R. EricksonHank the Cowdog is striken with a terrible case of "Eye-Crosserosis" and only the mysterious Madame Moonshine can help him.
The Further Adventures of Miss Petitfour (The Adventures of Miss Petitfour)
by Anne MichaelsFor fans of Mary Poppins, heroine Miss Petitfour and her feline friends return for more flights of fancy in this cozy, charming collection of illustrated stories. Miss Petitfour enjoys having adventures that are "just the right size" for a "single, magical day." With her sixteen cats and the aid of a tablecloth as a makeshift balloon, Miss Petitfour soars — which is to say, she rises high in the air and flies — over her charmingly eccentric village, encountering adventures along the way. One never knows where the wind will take her in this delightfully seasonal collection of magical outings: perhaps to the aid of dearly loved friends and neighbors, including a hapless handyman and an onion-loving baby, or to a coconut-confetti parade, or in search of keys, lucky charms or even simply the perfect tablecloth for her next flight. A witty, whimsical, beautifully illustrated collection of tales that celebrate language, storytelling and all the pleasures of life, large and small!
The Further Adventures of an Idiot Abroad
by Karl PilkingtonA new book on the travails of travel by “the funniest man on the planet” (Spectator).Why on earth would anybody want to run with the bulls in Pamplona? Go “storm chasing” through Tornado Alley? Jump out of a plane? Have lunch with the queen or touch hands with the pope? The Further Adventures of An Idiot Abroad is a fresh take on the bucket-list mentality from television star Karl Pilkington, renowned for his comedic collaborations with Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant.While he’s done some dumb things like putting sausages in a toaster, Karl has never been one for danger. But Ricky and Stephen managed to convince him to take on at least a few challenges, and in this hilarious and strangely inspiring book, Karl recounts brilliant stories of his adventures in Alaska, in Siberia, on a South Sea island, inside a gigantic rubber ball trying not to throw up, and more; states his opinions about what other people aspire to do with their lives; and shares his hard-won certainty that coming back home is the best thing about going away in the first place.
The Futility Experts
by Margaret BroucekFeeling trapped in a stagnant marriage, working a dead-end job, and desperately coveting the last good parking spot, Tim Turner decides to do what any middle-aged man not in his right mind would do; reinvent himself as a 21 year-old Marine sniper named Rusty. What could possibly go wrong? At the same time, Davis Beardsley—a professor of zoology with an unhealthy obsession for imaginary creatures—helplessly watches his chances for tenure circle the drain when a new department head takes a less-than-favorable view of his teaching methods. Throw in a decrepit Sasquatch, a Romanian adoptee hell-bent on destruction, and a trio of incontinent lapdogs, and you have the makings of a laugh-out-loud hit. Delivered with deadpan wit and keen insight, The Futility Experts is sure to appeal to fans of Jami Attenberg, Emma Straub, and Joshua Ferris.
The Future Future: A Novel
by Adam ThirlwellShort-listed for the Goldsmiths PrizeFinalist for the Orwell Prize for Political FictionA wild story of female friendship, language, and power, from France to colonial America to the moon, from 1775 to this very moment: a historical novel like no other.It’s the eighteenth century, and Celine is in trouble. Her husband is mostly absent. Her parents are elsewhere. And meanwhile men are inventing stories about her—about her affairs, her sexuality, her orgies and addictions. All these stories are lies, but the public loves them and spreads them like a virus. Celine can only watch as her name becomes a symbol for everything rotten in society. This is a world of decadence and saturation, of lavish parties and private salons, of tulle and satin and sex and violence. It’s also one ruled by men—high on colonial genocide, natural destruction, crimes against women, and, above all, language. To survive, Celine and her friends must band together in search of justice, truth, and beauty. Fantastical, funny, and blindingly bright, Adam Thirlwell’s The Future Future follows one woman on an urgently contemporary quest to clear her name and change the world.
The Future and Why We Should Avoid It
by Scott FeschukThe future holds many unknowns: advances in medical technology, increased airport security and critical new inventions like sentient, polygraph-enabled, wireless toasters. Luckily, Maclean's columnist Scott Feschuk has written a survival guide-part how-to manual, part product guide, part apocalypse analysis and part sardonic observation-to help us navigate these troubled times. Or at least make us laugh while we try. The Future and Why We Should Avoid It envisions the daunting, depressing era we have to look forward to with the best of Feschuk's musings on aging, death, technology, inventions, health and leisure. Combining quizzes, voiceovers and speeches, and employing snark, innuendo, toilet humor and shameless mockery-because how else do you cope with the fact that one day you will die?-Feschuk contemplates the fate of humanity and the planet in the upcoming years, poking fun, provoking thought and dredging up silver linings in even the darkest forecasts.
The Future of Tennis: A Photographic Celebration of the Men's Tour
by Philip Slayton Peter FiguraAt the heart of the men’s tennis game for some years have been the Big Four: Novak Djokovic, Roger Federer, Andy Murray, and Rafael Nadal. Since 2006, only three other players have won a Grand Slam Tournament, and no one else has been ranked world No. 1. But since 2013, the dominance of the Big Four has come under sustained and increasing pressure. New players are challenging Djokovic, Federer, Murray, and Nadal. The rivalry between the old guard and (mostly) young contenders makes this the golden age of tennis. Nick Kyrgios beat Nadal in the fourth round of 2014 Wimbledon. In 2017, David Goffin beat Djokovic in Monte Carlo; Dominic Thiem beat Murray in Barcelona; Sascha Zverev beat Federer in Montreal; and Denis Shapovalov beat Nadal, also in Montreal. In The Future of Tennis Philip Slayton and Peter Figura examine a selection of the players outside of the Big Four and introduce the reader to the great depth of field in the men’s game and the personalities that enliven the sport. Complete with stunning photography by Figura, this book will answer questions about who some of the other players on the tour are, what drives them, their foibles and eccentricities, and more. The perfect gift for tennis aficionados!
The Futurological Congress: From the Memoirs of Ijon Tichy (Forsyte chronicles)
by Stanislaw LemThe Franz Kafka Prize-winning author invites you to a doped-up dystopia. &“Nobody can really know the future. But few could imagine it better than Lem.&” —The Paris Review Bringing his twin gifts of scientific speculation and scathing satire to bear on that hapless planet, Earth, Polish author Stanislaw Lem sends his unlucky cosmonaut, Ijon Tichy, to the Eighth Futurological Congress in Costa Rica to discuss the overpopulation problem. Caught up in local revolution, Tichy is shot and so critically wounded that he is flashfrozen to await a cure. But when he awakens in 2039, he is faced with a future unlike any that the Congress could have ever imagined. Translated by Michael Kandel. &“A vision of Earth&’s future where the authorities dose the population with &‘psychemicals&’ to make life in a desperately over-populated world worth living.&” —The Boston Globe &“Lem&’s view of the overcrowded future is original and disturbing. A pessimistic, mordantly funny book.&” —Kirkus Reviews &“Lem writes with a humor underlined by his commentary on the way the world is.&” —SF Site
The Fuzzy Bunch: A Get Fuzzy Collection (Get Fuzzy #20)
by Darby ConleyHouse cats are known to be aloof, but &“cat-titude&” reaches new heights in Get Fuzzy, the bitingly hilarious comic strip from cartoonist Darby Conley. Get Fuzzy is a wry portrait of single life, with pets. At the center of this warm and fuzzy romp is Rob Wilco, a single, mild-mannered ad executive and guardian of anthropomorphic scamps Bucky and Satchel. Bucky is a temperamental cat who clearly wears the pants in this eccentric household. Satchel is a gentle pooch who tries to remain neutral, but frequently ends up on the receiving end of Bucky's mischief. Together, this unlikely trio endures all the trials and tribulations of a typical family...more or less.The National Cartoonists Society honored Get Fuzzy with a Reuben division award, naming it the Best Newspaper Comic Strip of 2002.
The Fuzzy Bunch: A Get Fuzzy Collection (Get Fuzzy #20)
by Darby ConleyHouse cats are known to be aloof, but &“cat-titude&” reaches new heights in Get Fuzzy, the bitingly hilarious comic strip from cartoonist Darby Conley. Get Fuzzy is a wry portrait of single life, with pets. At the center of this warm and fuzzy romp is Rob Wilco, a single, mild-mannered ad executive and guardian of anthropomorphic scamps Bucky and Satchel. Bucky is a temperamental cat who clearly wears the pants in this eccentric household. Satchel is a gentle pooch who tries to remain neutral, but frequently ends up on the receiving end of Bucky's mischief. Together, this unlikely trio endures all the trials and tribulations of a typical family...more or less.The National Cartoonists Society honored Get Fuzzy with a Reuben division award, naming it the Best Newspaper Comic Strip of 2002.
The G-String Murders (Femmes Fatales)
by Gypsy Rose Lee&“Burlesque is the background . . . [and] the background is perfect. Recommended for the readers who feel better when their eyebrows are raised.&” —The New Yorker A mystery set in the underworld of burlesque theater, The G-String Murders was penned in 1941 by the legendary queen of the stripteasers—the witty and wisecracking Gypsy Rose Lee. Narrating a twisted tale of a backstage double murder, Lee provides a fascinating look behind the scenes of burlesque, richly populated by the likes of strippers Lolita LaVerne and Gee Gee Graham, comic Biff Brannigan and Siggy the g-string salesman. This is a world where women struggle to earn a living performing bumps and grinds, have gangster boyfriends, sip beer between acts and pay their own way at dinner.Femmes Fatales restores to print the best of women&’s writing in the classic pulp genres of the mid-20th century. From mystery to hard-boiled noir to taboo lesbian romance, these rediscovered queens of pulp offer subversive perspectives on a turbulent era. Enjoy the series: Bedelia; Bunny Lake Is Missing; By Cecile; The G-String Murders; The Girls in 3-B; Laura; The Man Who Loved His Wife; Mother Finds a Body; Now, Voyager; Return to Lesbos; Skyscraper; Stranger on Lesbos; Stella Dallas; Women&’s Barracks.&“[Lee&’s] novel is a rich and lusty job, brimming over with infectious vitality and a hilarious jargon of her own.&” —Life&“A lurid, witty and highly competent detective story . . . Rich show business vocabulary and stage door gags make her book almost a social document . . . The G-String Murders builds up to a hair-raising climax.&” —Time
The GC: How to Be a Diva
by Gemma CollinsFor fans of TOWIE, Celebrity Big Brother and Celebs Go Dating, learn how you too can become a diva by the one and only Gemma Collins - one of the greatest gifts reality TV has ever given us.So girls, you alright darlings?By buying this book you will have taken the first steps into a world where everything is fabulous. Men will fall at your feet, riches will be bestowed on you, you will have the biggest, bounciest hair ever and you will get what you want, whatever that is. I'm a diva and I've earned my divaship through many years of hard work, hairdryers and broken hearts. In my book, I'll explore the main themes of the diva lifestyle: attitude, appearance, men and social media. You'll learn what it means to be a diva, how to look like one, how to act like one and how to live like one. At the end of it all, you will be a fabulous diva like me. You'll also learn some very juicy goss about me, my life, the men in my life, shock-induced urinary incontinence and some of the things I've done (including how I sustained an unsightly boob injury in front of Tom Daley while he was wearing a revealing pair of Speedos) (which could probably make a book on its own). So hold on to your extensions, because things are about to get interesting.
The GC: How to Be a Diva
by Gemma CollinsFor fans of TOWIE, Celebrity Big Brother and Celebs Go Dating, learn how you too can become a diva by the one and only Gemma Collins - one of the greatest gifts reality TV has ever given us.Gemma Collins burst onto our screens when she joined TOWIE in 2011 and since then she has become renowned for her hilarious one-liners, sassy attitude and, most importantly, memes. Labelled as one of the most iconic women of our nation, her rise to the top has been dazzling.Unafraid to speak her mind with an admirable ability to deal with any situation in style, Gemma has experienced everything from fashion highlights (such as her iconic orange dress) to reminding men that they will never get her candy to being proud of her Essex roots and her body. In How to Be a Diva, the GC will reveal her rise to becoming the nation's meme queen and how you can become one too. She's earned her divaship and, with this book, so can you.(P)2018 Headline Publishing Group Ltd
The GCHQ Puzzle Book II
by GCHQTrain your brain with these fiendishly difficult puzzles, the perfect companion for anyone wanting to keep their mind busy'Fiendishly tricky' Daily MailWith their first bestselling book, The GCHQ Puzzle Book, the UK's intelligence and security experts tested us with puzzles, codes and real-life entrance tests from their archives.Now, they are back with a NEW collection of head-scratching, mind-boggling and brain-bending puzzles that will leave you pondering for hours.For those who often found themselves stumped with the first book, The GCHQ Puzzle Book 2 offers even more starter puzzles to get those brains warmed up. Puzzle aficionados needn't worry though, as there is also an 'Even Harder' section to test everyone to their limits . . .Not only that, but in celebration of GCHQ's centenary, the puzzles in this new book sit alongside stories, facts and photos from the organisation's first 100 years at the heart of the nation's security. From the Government Code & Cipher School, to Bletchley Park, through to protecting against cyberattacks, the security of our country is in the hands of GCHQ. With this book, you get exclusive snapshots into the organisation that keeps us all safe.Train your brain to compete with the smartest in the country with this stimulating book of puzzles. If you haven't yet tested yourself with the first instalment of The GCHQ Puzzle Book, check it out now!'This is the perfect gift to fuel his ludicrous presumption that he could have definitely been a spy - even better if he's already dog-eared the first version' Huffington Post
The GCHQ Puzzle Book: Perfect for anyone who likes a good headscratcher
by GCHQSharpen your mind to beat the smartest brains in Britain with the original official GCHQ puzzle bookWould GCHQ recruit you? Pit your wits against the people who cracked Enigma in the official puzzle book from Britain's top secret intelligence and security organisationOver the years, their codebreakers have helped keep our country safe, from the Bletchley Park breakthroughs of WWII to the modern-day threat of cyber attack. So it comes as no surprise that, even in their time off, the staff at GCHQ love a good puzzle.Whether they're recruiting new staff or challenging each other to the toughest Christmas quizzes and treasure hunts imaginable, puzzles are at the heart of what GCHQ does. Now they're opening up their archives of decades' worth of codes, puzzles and challenges for everyone to try.In this book you will find:- Tips on how to get into the mindset of a codebreaker- Puzzles ranging in difficulty from easy to brain-bending- A competition section where we search for Britain's smartest puzzlerWith hundreds of stimulating puzzles, The GCHQ Puzzle Book is the perfect companion and will keep you occupied as you attempt to beat the smartest brains in Britain.GOOD LUCK!'Fiendish . . . as frustrating, divisive and annoying as it is deeply fulfilling' Guardian'Ideal for the crossword enthusiast' Daily TelegraphLooking for more ways to test yourself? The GCHQ Puzzle Book 2, a new collection of head-scratching, mind-boggling and brain-bending puzzles is out now!
The Galactic Goal (Geronimo Stilton Spacemice #4)
by Geronimo StiltonGeronimo Stilton meets outer space in this cosmically fun spin-off series!The spacemice have received an invitation to participate in the intergalactic soccerix championship. It's a tournament for the most popular sport in space! But Geronimo doesn't even know how to play soccerix, let alone lead a team to victory against aliens with bizarre skills (like flying)! Can the spacemice team prevail?
The Gallows Black (The Grave of Empires)
by Sam SykesA standalone epic fantasy novella starring Sal the Cacophony, who Pierce Brown called a "protagonist for the ages," from Sam Sykes' widely acclaimed Seven Blades in Black. To the city of Last Word, one of the last freeholds in a land rent asunder by magic, Sal the Cacophony comes with gun, a blade, and a burning need for revenge.But when the gallows threatens to deny her the satisfaction of the kill, Sal the Cacophony decides to free her query -- it's the principle of the thing. And in doing so, she sparks a war that will shake the city's fragile peace to its core.To escape with her life and her kill, she'll have to save a criminal-turned-companion: a Freemaker, versed in the forbidden arts of magic and machinery. But the weight of their secrets may be too heavy to let them escape in one piece.For more from Sam Sykes, check out:The Grave of EmpiresSeven Blades in BlackThe Affinity for Steel TrilogyTome of the UndergatesBlack HaloThe Skybound SeaBring Down HeavenThe City Stained RedThe Mortal TallyGod's Last Breath
The Game Changer
by Lana FergusonA hockey player and a baker shoot their shot in this steamy new romance by Lana Ferguson, USA Today bestselling author of The Nanny.This time they're both playing for keeps . . .When a very public breakup becomes a PR nightmare for Ian Chase's team, he hopes to focus on his game, but that suddenly seem less likely than a hat trick. With his career and the team's image in jeopardy, Ian is surprised to find a solution through none other than Delilah Baker, his best friend and teammate's little sister . . . who isn't so little anymore.Delilah Baker is known as 'the darling of baking' on her local cable show, and being in the public eye is her bread and butter. But with her numbers dwindling and her producers turning up the heat, Delilah offers up the half-baked idea to collaborate with her brother's team to entice the hockey fans of Boston to tune in to her show. Delilah thinks it will be a piece of cake - until the team sends Ian Chase, her brother's best friend and the object of a decade-long crush that she's never quite gotten over. Delilah's and Ian's teams think it's a true win-win situation - gaining higher numbers for Delilah's show and casting Ian in a more positive light. And viewers are eating them up like a cupcake, sparking the idea to play up their relationship for the goal of good press. With more than just their careers on thin ice, the line between what's real and what's for show begins to blur, but one thing's for certain: This PR stunt will either be a total game changer - or leave them both totally pucked.Praise for Lana Ferguson'Addictive, epically smutty and the breath of fresh air the romance genre didn't know it needed' ELENA ARMAS 'Like if Ali Hazelwood and Tessa Bailey had a smutty baby. I devoured every page' RUBY DIXON 'Smart, fun, sexy, and sizzling with romantic tension' SARA DESAI 'Rosie Danan fans should snap this up' Publishers Weekly, starred review 'Funny, sweet, and very hot' Shondaland