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The Gentleman's Instant Genius Guide: Become An Expert In Everything
by Tom CutlerWho has time nowadays to put in the graft to succeed? And why bother, when the truly important things in life only take a quarter of an hour to master?Here, Tom Cutler proves that following the path to becoming disgustingly rich, stylish, intelligent, thin, happy, classy, successful and a legend in the bedroom need take no longer than it does to cut your toenails, or listen to The Archers. Learn how to become as popular as your dog.Which sports car suits your personality?How to work out the date of your death.Are you a genius? With Tom Cutler's help you will soon find inner perfection and hugely impress your family, friends and work colleagues. From the author of the brilliant A Gentleman's Bedside Book, this is a hilariously funny but deeply practical guide to self-improvement.
The Gentleman's Instant Genius Guide: Become an Expert in Everything
by Tom CutlerWho has time nowadays to put in the graft to succeed? And why bother, when the truly important things in life only take a quarter of an hour to master?Here, Tom Cutler proves that following the path to becoming disgustingly rich, stylish, intelligent, thin, happy, classy, successful and a legend in the bedroom need take no longer than it does to cut your toenails, or listen to The Archers. Learn how to become as popular as your dog.Which sports car suits your personality?How to work out the date of your death.Are you a genius? With Tom Cutler's help you will soon find inner perfection and hugely impress your family, friends and work colleagues. From the author of the brilliant A Gentleman's Bedside Book, this is a hilariously funny but deeply practical guide to self-improvement.
The Gentleman: A Novel
by Forrest LeoA funny, fantastically entertaining debut novel, in the spirit of Wodehouse and Monty Python, about a famous poet who inadvertently sells his wife to the devil--then recruits a band of adventurers to rescue her.When Lionel Savage, a popular poet in Victorian London, learns from his butler that they're broke, he marries the beautiful Vivien Lancaster for her money, only to find that his muse has abandoned him. Distraught and contemplating suicide, Savage accidentally conjures the Devil -- the polite "Gentleman" of the title -- who appears at one of the society parties Savage abhors. The two hit it off: the Devil talks about his home, where he employs Dante as a gardener; Savage lends him a volume of Tennyson. But when the party's over and Vivien has disappeared, the poet concludes in horror that he must have inadvertently sold his wife to the dark lord. Newly in love with Vivian, Savage plans a rescue mission to Hell that includes Simmons, the butler; Tompkins, the bookseller; Ashley Lancaster, swashbuckling Buddhist; Will Kensington, inventor of a flying machine; and Savage's spirited kid sister, Lizzie, freshly booted from boarding school for a "dalliance." Throughout, his cousin's quibbling footnotes to the text push the story into comedy nirvana.Lionel and his friends encounter trapdoors, duels, anarchist-fearing bobbies, the social pressure of not knowing enough about art history, and the poisonous wit of his poetical archenemy. Fresh, action-packed and very, very funny, The Gentleman is a giddy farce that recalls the masterful confections of P.G. Wodehouse and Hergé's beautifully detailed Tintin adventures.
The Geographer's Map to Romance (Love's Academic)
by India HoltonGeography professors in a failed marriage of convenience inconveniently reconnect for an emergency mission in this swoony historical-fantasy rom-com.Professor Elodie Tarrant is an expert in magic disasters. Nothing fazes her—except her own personal disaster, that is: Professor Gabriel Tarrant, the grumpy, unfriendly man she married for convenience a year ago, whom she secretly loves.Gabriel is also an expert in magic disasters. And nothing fazes him either—except the walking, talking tornado that is his wife. They&’ve been estranged since shortly after their wedding day, but that hasn&’t stopped him from stoically pining for her.When magic erupts in a small Welsh village, threatening catastrophe for the rest of Britain, Elodie and Gabriel are accidentally both assigned to the case. With the fate of the country in their hands, they must come together as a team in the face of perilous conditions like explosions, domesticated goats, and only one bed. But this is easier said than done. After all, there's no navigational guide for the geography of the heart.
The Geomancer's Compass
by Melissa HardyThis futuristic novel has all the elements YA fiction needs to draw critical attention from reviewers, and to elicit award-nominations. It is thematically interesting, culturally diverse, well-written, futuristic, and very funny. Set in the year 2021, this fantastic YA novel explores the tension between a young woman's future building infrastructure for Augmented Reality, and the commitment she makes to her dying grandmother to honour ancient Chinese magic. The Geomancer's Compass imagines a world in the near future while exploring the Chinese immigrant experience and the expanding, elastic and shifting nature of reality.
The Geometry of Holding Hands: An Isabel Dalhousie Novel (13) (Isabel Dalhousie Novels #13)
by Alexander McCall SmithTHE THIRTEENTH INSTALLMENT OF THE MUCH-LOVED ISABEL DALHOUSIE SERIESWhen Isabel Dalhousie and her husband Jamie book a table at an expensive Edinburgh restaurant, she finds herself battling with her conscience. Lately, there has been a lull in work for the Review of Applied Ethics, and the care of their young sons, Charlie and Magnus, is often undertaken by their housekeeper Grace. Is Isabel deserving of such a luxurious dinner?But Isabel holds herself to impossible moral standards. Not so, the parents of one of Jamie's students, who have no qualms about ensuring their son's place in the school orchestra, despite his mediocre talent. In the restaurant, Isabel witnesses a row between local businessmen; another reminder that thoughtless ambition is too often second nature to others.Compelled to intervene in the aftermath, Isabel's sense of integrity is observed by a fellow diner, Iain Melrose, who seeks out her help. He must decide which of his remaining relatives should one day inherit his estate. Isabel, he believes, would make a just executor of his will.While she deliberates, another troubling situation arises with her niece, Cat, whose relationship with the unlikeable Leo is causing her to behave recklessly, putting Isabel in a very difficult position. Faced with such weighty decisions, can Isabel balance compassion and integrity to make the right choice for all, and to protect those she holds dear to her heart?
The George W. Bush Quiz Book
by Paul SlanskyA hilarious “quizography” on the dumbfounding life of George W. BushPop QuizGeorge W. Bush is:the greatest American statesman since Abraham Lincoln.a champion of the underdog and a thorn in the side of the wealthy.articulate, thoughtful, and judicious—a very, very wise man.linguistically challenged (“I know how hard it is to put food on your family”), proudly ignorant (he actually boasts about not reading newspapers), and inexplicably addicted to nicknaming (aide Karl Rove is “Turd Blossom”)—in short, the least qualified, most polarizing figure ever to be appointed President of the United States, and the only White House occupant to have once been videotaped picking his nose. If you answered d, this book is for you. In The George W. Bush Quiz Book, New Yorker humorist and bestselling author of The Clothes Have No Emperor, Paul Slansky, brings you a comical compendium of quizzes filled with hundreds of questions and answers on the personal and political life of George W. The result is a crash course in everything Dubya. Thoroughly researched and devastatingly funny, now there’s finally a quiz George W. Bush should be able to ace (pass).
The Get Rich Quick Club
by Dan GutmanWe, the members of the Get Rich Quick Club, in order to form a more perfect summer, vow that we will figure out a way to make a million dollars by September. We agree that neither rain nor snow nor gloom of night will prevent us from achieving our stated goal, till death do us part. Gina Tumolo and her Get Rich Quick Club are determined to make their summer pay off. They're going to make a pact and hatch a scheme, and their small-town life will never be the same again.
The Getaway List: A Novel
by Emma LordInescapably romantic and brimming with New York Times bestselling author Emma Lord’s signature cheer, The Getaway List is an uplifting and romantic read that will settle into your heart and never leave. Most Anticipated by Goodreads * The Nerd Daily * B&N Reads, and more! An Amazon Best YA of the Month The day of her high school graduation, Riley realizes two things: One, that she has spent the last four years trying so hard to be a Good Kid for her mom that she has no idea who she really is anymore, and two, she has no idea what she wants because of it. The solution? Pack her bags and move to New York for the summer, where her childhood best friend Tom and co-creator of The Getaway List — a list of all the adventures they’ve wanted to do together since he moved away — will hopefully help her get in touch with her old adventurous self, and pave the road to a new future.Riley isn’t sure what to expect from Tom, who has been distant since his famous mom’s scriptwriting career pulled him away. But when Riley arrives in the city, their reconnection is as effortless as it was when they were young―except with one, unexpected complication that will pull Riley’s feelings in a direction she didn’t know they could take. As she, Tom, and their newfound friends work their way through the delightfully chaotic items on The Getaway List, Riley learns that sometimes the biggest adventure is not one you take, but one you feel in your heart.
The Ghost Next Door (Goosebumps #29)
by R.L. StineFrom the New York Times–bestselling Goosebumps series, a tween makes friends with the kid living in an abandoned house next door and suspects he’s a ghost.Hannah’s neighborhood has just gotten a little—weird. Ever since that new boy moved in next door. But when did he move in? Wasn’t the house empty when Hannah went to sleep the night before? Why does it still look so deserted? She’s not getting any answers from her new neighbor. He just keeps disappearing in the oddest ways. And he’s so pale. . . . Is Hannah being haunted by . . . the ghost next door?
The Ghost Rules
by Adam RosenbaumTwelve-year-old Elwood McGee never asked to have &“ghost-sight,&” and it involves a lot more drool-dodging than he expected. Ghosts are the WORST—and they're all over the place in this sharp-witted middle grade debut novel.Did you know that ghosts love coffee? They&’re not trying to be scary. They&’re just deprived of an appropriate amount of caffeine! They also bump into things by accident, are occasionally nosy, and get a little nervous when they&’re seen by the living. Elwood McGee knows these ghost facts because he&’s one of those rare people with the gift of ghost-sight. And it turns out ghosts are everywhere! Especially in the small Tennessee town where Elwood and his family had to move following the death of his big brother Noah, which Elwood thinks was his fault. Once Elwood figures out he can see ghosts, he becomes single-mindedly determined to use his powers to see Noah and talk to him once last time. With the help of two girls who live on his street, Elwood embarks on a journey through the surprisingly funny world of ghosts and faces the realities of letting go. At once hilarious and heart wrenching, Adam Rosenbaum makes his middle grade debut with a supernaturalish novel about grief that&’s perfect for fans of Gordon Korman and Dan Gutman.A Junior Library Guild Gold Standard Selection
The Ghost Soldiers: Poems
by James TatePulitzer Prize–winning poet James Tate returns with his fifteenth book of poetry, an exciting new collection that offers nearly one hundred fresh and thought-provoking pieces that embody Tate's trademark style and voice: his accessibility, his dark humor, and his exquisite sense of the absurd. Tate's work is stark—he writes in clear, everyday language—yet his seemingly simple and macabre stories are layered with broad and trenchant meaning. His characters are often lost or confused, his settings bizarre, his scenarios brilliantly surreal. Opaque, inscrutable people float through a dreamlike world where nothing is as it seems. The Ghost Soldiers offers resounding proof, once again, that Tate stands alone in American poetry.
The Ghost and Mrs. Muir: Vintage Movie Classics
by Adriana Trigiani R. A. DickThe basis for Joseph L. Mankiewicz's cinematic romance starring Gene Tierney and Rex Harrison. Burdened by debt after her husband's death, Lucy Muir insists on moving into the very cheap Gull Cottage in the quaint seaside village of Whitecliff, despite multiple warnings that the house is haunted. Upon discovering the rumors to be true, the young widow ends up forming a special companionship with the ghost of handsome former sea captain Daniel Gregg. Through the struggles of supporting her children, seeking out romance from the wrong places, and working to publish the captain's story as a book, Blood and Swash, Lucy finds in her secret relationship with Captain Gregg a comfort and blossoming love she never could have predicted. Originally published in 1945, made into a movie in 1947, and later adapted into a television sitcom in 1968, this romantic tale explores how love can develop without boundaries, both in this life and beyond. With a new foreword by Adriana Trigiani.Vintage Movie Classics spotlights classic films that have stood the test of time, now rediscovered through the publication of the novels on which they were based.
The Ghost of Christmas Past: A Honey Driver Murder Mystery
by Jean G. GoodhindIt's a Dickensian Christmas in Bath; frost lies thick on the ground and a white mist drifts through the narrow alleys. The Green River Hotel is hosting the very last office Christmas party of the season. The employees of the firm arrive and seem shell shocked that their miserly employer, frequently referred to as Scrooge, has paid for everything. How come the change of heart? They never get the chance to ask because old 'Scrooge' doesn't turn up for the party. A deadly deed has been done, and it's up to Honey Driver and her darling DCI Doherty to solve the Christmas caper.
The Ghost of Ivy Barn: The Witches of Woodville 3
by Mark Stay'Beautiful and engaging and clever'—Manda Scott 'A young witch to rival Tiffany Aching. Magic!'—FMA Dixon The Witches of Woodville Part 3 August 1940 In a quiet village in rural Kent, the enemy is at the gates . . . The Battle of Britain rages and Faye Bright encounters the ghost of a pilot who won't give up the fight. Before she can help him, Faye is whisked away to join a motley crew of witches to perform a top secret ritual on the White Cliffs of Dover that could repel the invaders. But there's a catch. The ritual must be executed in the nuddy. Mrs Teach threatens mutiny. Miss Charlotte is intrigued. And Faye wants to call the whole thing off when she suspects there's a spy in their midst. It's up to Faye Bright to uncover the traitor, all while dealing with the ghost haunting Ivy Barn who may hold the key to the truth. But first, Faye has to learn to fly . . .For fans of Lev Grossman and Terry Pratchett comes the third novel in this delightful series of war, mystery and a little bit of magic . . .Don't miss the other magical books in the WITCHES OF WOODVILLE series! #1 The Crow Folk #2 Babes in the Wood #3 The Ghost of Ivy Barn Praise for The Witches of Woodville series 'I so enjoyed The Crow Folk. Set in an endearingly odd village in deepest Kent, it's full of engaging characters and weird, witchy goings-on. Fast-paced, entertainingly creepy and at times laugh-out-loud funny, it's also genuinely moving'—Michelle Paver, author of Wakenhyrst 'ACE. Smart and funny and written so warmly. It's an absolutely smashing read'—Pernille Hughes, author of Probably the Best Kiss in the World 'Swept me straight back to days of losing myself in Diana Wynne Jones novels, and getting lost in truly absorbing, sometimes scary, sometimes emotive adventure with its roots in folklore and history. A story that is full of magic and delight that will thrill readers of any age'—Rowan Coleman, author of The Girl at the Window 'A delightful mash-up of Dad&’s Army and Charmed. An absolute treat'—CK McDonnell, author of Stranger Times &‘Warm, witty, witchy wartime fun. With Mark Stay as writer you're always guaranteed a magical read&’—Julie Wassmer, author of the Whitstable Pearl Mysteries &‘You'll love it: Doctor Who meets Worzel Gummidge&’—Lorna Cook, author of The Forgotten Village &‘A jolly romp with witches, demons, and bellringing. Pratchett fans will enjoy this, and Faye is a feisty and fun hero. Dad's Army meets Witches of Eastwick&’—Ian W Sainsbury
The Ghostly Guinea Pig: Book 1 (Mariella Mystery #1)
by Kate PankhurstThe debut novel from winner of the MacMillan Prize for Picture Book Illustration Kate Pankhurst. The perfect book for 7-9 yr olds who love funny stories with quirky illustrations like DIARY OF A WIMPY KID, the DORK DIARIES and CLARICE BEAN.Mariella Mystery (That's me!) - totally amazing girl detective, aged 9 and a bit. Able to solve the most mysterious mysteries and perplexing problems, even before breakfast.When their teacher Miss Crumble spots the ghost of her pet guinea pig, Mr Darcy, in her back garden, she doesn't know what to think. But Mariella knows it's up to her and her fellow Mystery Girls to get to the bottom of The Case of the Ghostly Guinea Pig.
The Ghosts of Tupelo Landing
by Sheila TurnageThe eagerly anticipated followup to the Newbery honor winner and New York Times bestseller, Three Times Lucky Small towns have rules. One is, you got to stay who you are -- no matter how many murders you solve. When Miss Lana makes an Accidental Bid at the Tupelo auction and winds up the mortified owner of an old inn, she doesn't realize there's a ghost in the fine print. Naturally, Desperado Detective Agency (aka Mo and Dale) opens a paranormal division to solve the mystery of the ghost's identity. They've got to figure out who the ghost is so they can interview it for their history assignment (extra credit). But Mo and Dale start to realize that the Inn isn't the only haunted place in Tupelo Landing. People can also be haunted by their own past. As Mo and Dale handily track down the truth about the ghost (with some help from the new kid in town), they discover the truth about a great many other people, too. A laugh out loud, ghostly, Southern mystery that can be enjoyed by readers visiting Tupelo Landing for the first time, as well as those who are old friends of Mo and Dale.
The Ghosts of Tupelo Landing
by Sheila TurnageThe eagerly anticipated followup to the Newbery honor winner and New York Times bestseller, Three Times Lucky Mo LoBeau--one half of the (probably) world-famous Desperado Detective Agency--is back! When Miss Lana winds up the mortified owner of an old inn with an unidentified ghost in the fine print, Mo's itching to take the case. Plus, a historical ghost might make for some much needed Extra Credit in history. Who's haunting the old inn? And why? Mo and Dale set out to solve their second big case--only to find the inn might not be the only thing in Tupelo Landing haunted by the past. A laugh out loud, ghostly, Southern mystery that can be enjoyed by readers visiting Tupelo Landing for the first time, as well as those who are old friends of Mo and Dale.
The Ghostwriter Secret
by Adam Rex Mac BarnettSteve Brixton is fast becoming America's top detective. After saving the United States of America in The Case of the Case of Mistaken Identity, he has opened his own agency. Steve gets a call to solve the case of the Fairview diamond but it turns into an even bigger mystery. MacArthur Bart, author of Steve's beloved Bailey Brothers series, has been kidnapped!! And there is only one 12-year-old detective who can find him. But not without the help of his best chum Dana and The Bailey Brothers Detective Handbook. Full of run-ins with goons, bullys, and the B. Syndicate (or is that Bee Syndicate?), The *Ghostwriter Secret will keep everyone laughing with suspense. *Please note Steve encounters no specters in the course of this book.
The Giant Book of Dirty Limericks
by Rudy A. SwaleGrossly irreverent and far from politically correct, the humor in these X-rated jokes is equaled only by their amazingly clever wording.The limerick form is complex,Its contents deal mainly with sex.It burgeons with virginsAnd masculine urgin's,And a wealth of erotic effects.***A girl with magnificent tits,When dancing would wiggle her hips;A wonderful flirt,She'd lift up her skirt,And exhibit her sensuous lips.***The nipples of young Miss Hong Kong,When excited were twelve inches long.This embarrassed her lover,Who was pained to discoverShe expected no less of his dong.
The Giant Diamond Robbery: The Giant Diamond Robbery (Geronimo Stilton #44)
by Geronimo StiltonIn each Geronimo Stilton book, another funny, cheesy adventure is always right around the corner. Each book is fast-paced, with lively full-color art and a unique format kids 7-10 will love.<P><p> I, Geronimo Stilton, am no sportsmouse. But that didn't stop Grandfather William from dragging me to a golf tournament so I could be his caddie! Once I arrived, who should I bump into but my friend Kornelius Von Kickpaw, a.k.a. Special Agent 00K. Someone was plotting to steal the Super Mouse Cup, and it was up to me and Kornelius to crack the case!<P> <i>Advisory: Bookshare has learned that this book offers only partial accessibility. We have kept it in the collection because it is useful for some of our members. To explore further access options with us, please contact us through the Book Quality link on the right sidebar. Benetech is actively working on projects to improve accessibility issues such as these.</i>
The Gift
by Bob MoseleyTommy Browning is hopelessly trapped in his baseball dream. Wallowing in Single A with Macon Peaches, he doesn't know if he'll ever make The Show---the major leagues---or if his dream of a professional career is even worth pursuing. But fate steps in and the 21-year-old pitcher is launched on a roller-coaster ride that he can't control, much less understand. He has "The Gift," but can he keep it?
The Gift Bag Chronicles: A Novel
by Hilary De VriesOn generating the perfect party in Hollywood: If celebrities don't walk your red carpet, you don't exist. If you don't make Page Six, you don't exist. To get ten celebrities to show up, invite four hundred. And send a car. Publicity is the only job you can do perfectly and still fail. And the gift bag totally matters. As the newly promoted head of event planning for one of L. A. 's top publicity firms, Alex Davidson spends her days making decisions of utmost importance: Grey Goose or Belvedere? MAC or Stila? Queen Latifah or Chloë Sevigny? And though her boyfriend, agency president Charles Evers, lives on the other coast, she could be doing worse. But leave it to her mother to point out the obvious: After one failed, childless marriage, Alex is the "career divorcée" and the antithesis of her sister, the perfect stay-at-home mom. And there's no spin in the world that can cover up the growing rift between Alex and Charles. From dealing with outrageously self-important clients and holier-than-thou C-listers to trying to make sense of her growing attraction to a man who is not her boyfriend but her best friend, Alex feels as if she's about one Red Bull shy of a meltdown. With her professional future hanging in the balance, she has the biggest party of the season to pull off. And the real question is: Will the gift bags measure up? From the Trade Paperback edition.
The Gift Inside the Box
by Adam Grant Allison Sweet GrantAdam Grant, the bestselling author of Give and Take, teams with his wife, Allison, to share the lighthearted tale of a gift in search of a giver--a classic in the making and the perfect conversation starter about thoughtfulness.This delightful book--one of Amazon's 2019 Holiday Gift Picks and Most Anticipated Books--is designed to start conversations with kids about generosity. In the tradition of Goodnight Gorilla, the words are intentionally spare. The book is meant to be read interactively, with adults posing questions so kids can guess what's happening (and why). Praised by both parents and teachers for sparking imagination and eliciting discussion, the story can be interpreted differently in every family, by every child, and reinterpreted many times over. Give the gift of this clever, earnest book about generosity--a new and nourishing fable for every child's library (and one that includes a delightfully innovative cover approach that requires the reader to unfasten the Velcroed cover for a fun unboxing effect!). It's a gift that keeps on giving."Truly phenomenal . . . Kristen [Bell]'s favorite book we've read to the kids in a year." --Dax Shepard of the podcast "Armchair Expert"
The Gift of the Magpie: A Meg Langslow Mystery (Meg Langslow Mysteries #28)
by Donna AndrewsNew York Times bestselling author Donna Andrews returns with another Meg Langslow mystery written "firmly in the grand tradition of Agatha Christie's Christmas books" (Toronto Globe and Mail).The 28th book and the seventh Christmas mystery in the Meg Langslow series, The Gift of the Magpie is yet another wonderfully merry and funny book from New York Times bestselling author Donna Andrews. Meg’s running Caerphilly’s Helping Hands for the Holidays project, in which neighbors help each other with things they can’t do and can’t afford to have done. Her hopes for a relatively peaceful (if busy) Christmas vanish when someone murders Harvey the Hoarder, whose house the Helping Hands were decluttering. Was there any truth to the rumor that he had something valuable hidden beneath all his junk? Was one of his friends, neighbors, or relatives greedy enough to murder him for the rumored treasure? And what about the magpie that has been bringing her family bits of tinsel and costume jewelry—does the bird’s latest gift hold a clue to solving the crime? Full of intrigue, this Christmas mystery will take readers home to Caerphilly, where the suspense falls as thick as the snow.