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Teachers: Jokes, Quotes, and Anecdotes
by Andrews McMeel PublishingCelebrate America&’s teachers with this delightful compendium of wit and wisdom on the subject of education. With more than 150 jokes, quotes, and anecdotes, this little volume honors the vital role teachers play in our lives. Entries from great minds across the ages—ranging from Aristotle to Mark Twain and beyond—remind us that educators not only help shape who we are, but society as a whole. After all, as Rudyard Kipling once said, &“he who can reach a child&’s heart can reach the world&’s heart.&”
Teachers Are From Mars, Pupils Are From Venus : School Joke Book
by John ByrneAs you've probably realised, kids and teachers are two entirely different species. Why do teachers behave so oddly? Because they're from a different planet, that's why! But remember, they think the odd things you do are just as funny! And in this little book the jokes are on everyone - so prepare for classroom chaos!
The Teachers from the Black Lagoon, and Other Stories (Scholastic Reader, Level 3)
by Mike ThalerHubie and his classmates are back in this Teacher from the Black Lagoon reader collection!At Hubie's school the teachers are real monsters.Yikes! Will he survive the first day?These four bestselling books are together in one low-priced reader collection! The Teacher from the Black LagoonThe Principal from the Black LagoonThe Gym Teacher from the Black LagoonThe Librarian from the Black Lagoon
The Teacher's Funeral
by Richard Peck<P>"If your teacher has to die, August isn't a bad time of year for it," begins Richard Peck's latest novel, a book full of his signature wit and sass. <P>Russell Culver is fifteen in 1904, and he's raring to leave his tiny Indiana farm town for the endless sky of the Dakotas. To him, school has been nothing but a chain holding him back from his dreams. Maybe now that his teacher has passed on, they'll shut the school down entirely and leave him free to roam. <P> <P>No such luck. Russell has a particularly eventful season of schooling ahead of him, led by a teacher he never could have predicted--perhaps the only teacher equipped to control the likes of him: his sister Tansy. <P>Despite stolen supplies, a privy fire, and more than any classroom's share of snakes, Tansy will manage to keep that school alive and maybe, just maybe, set her brother on a new, wiser course. <P>As he did in A Long Way from Chicago and A Year Down Yonder, Richard Peck creates a whole world of folksy, one-of-a-kind characters here--the enviable and the laughable, the adorably meek and the deliciously terrifying. <P>There will be no forgetting Russell, Tansy, and all the rest who populate this hilarious, shrewd, and thoroughly enchanting novel.
The Teacher's Pet
by Anica Mrose RissiThis hilarious tale by debut picturebook author Anica Mrose Rissi, brilliantly illustrated by Zachariah OHora, will keep kids giggling page after page as the class comes together to solve one BIG problem. When their class tadpoles are big enough, Mr. Stricter tells his students they can keep just one. The class chooses Bruno, the smallest of the bunch. But Bruno doesn't stay that way for long. Soon, he's grown into a giant, classroom-wrecking creature: he eats desks, he farts for show-and-tell, and he sneezes slime all over everything! With Mr. Stricter blinded by love for the pet, the students must step up and take matters into their own heroic hands.
Teaching: It's Harder Than It Looks
by Gerry DeeGerry Dee is a rising comic star whose humour has been compared to Bill Cosby's. He spent ten years working as a teacher and survived (barely) to tell his tales. Told from the honest point-of-view of a not-so-good, often-very-bad public school teacher--the kind who teaches hungover (and lies about it), loses his students' exams (and lies about it), and stages an impromptu baseball game in the middle of history class just to kill some time, Teaching: It's Harder Than It Looks is Mr. D at his best.This book collects Gerry's funniest anecdotes about teaching, about students and about their parents. As Gerry's ode to school life, it's sure to bring back a memory or two, whether you were the teacher's pet or the class clown. Throughout, he offers tongue-in-cheek "Teacher Tips and Tricks," uncomfortable notes to parents, awkward report cards and all manner of memorabilia of school days.He's extremely funny, on the page as well as in person, and he's the kind of personality who will reach out beyond his own core comedy audience to a broad demographic of educators, parents and students who relate to his humour and experiences.
Teaching Comedy (Options for Teaching)
From Shakespeare to The Simpsons, comedy has long provided both entertainment and social commentary. It may critique cultural values, undermine authority, satirize sacred beliefs, and make room for the marginalized to approach the center. Comedy can be challenging to teach, but in the classroom it can help students connect with one another, develop critical thinking skills, and engage with important issues.The essays in this volume address a rich variety of texts spanning film, television, stand-up, cartoons, and memes as well as conventional literary works from different places and times. Contributors offer theoretical foundations and practical methods for a broad range of courses, including guidance on contextualizing the humor of historical works and on navigating the ways that comedy can both subvert and reinforce stereotypes. Finally, the volume argues for the value of comedy in difficult times, as a way to create community and meaning.This volume contains discussion of fiction, poetry, plays, and essays by Maya Angelou, Jane Austen, Aphra Behn, Hugh Henry Brackenridge, Frances Burney, Charles W. Chesnutt, Roddy Doyle, Maria Edgeworth, Ben Jonson, Anita Loos, Emtithal Mahmoud, Thomas Middleton, Okot p'Bitek, William Shakespeare, Laurence Sterne, Jonathan Swift, Alma Villanueva, Paula Vogel, Oscar Wilde, John Wilmot, and William Wycherley; TV shows and films including Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, The Gold Rush, Life Is Beautiful, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, The Office, Office Space, Rick and Morty, and South Park; works and stand-up performances by Aziz Ansari, Samantha Bee, Dave Chappelle, Louis C.K., Tina Fey, Moms Mabley, Hasan Minhaj, Eddie Murphy, Trevor Noah, Richard Pryor, Issa Rae, and Wanda Sykes; and visual works and other media including Aaron McGruder's The Boondocks, Bill Watterson's Calvin and Hobbes, Nick Sousanis's Unflattening, Marvel's Hawkeye, The Onion, YouTube videos, advertisements, and memes.
Teaching Leadership and Organizational Behavior through Humor
by Joan Marques Satinder Dhiman Jerry BibermanA unique, non-traditional, Organizational Behavioral-oriented book that is geared toward flexible leadership, and that offers a series of funny, yet thought-provoking, motivating, growth-oriented jokes and humor anecdotes that will help readers tap into their internal locus of control.
Teaching Modern British and American Satire (Options for Teaching #45)
by Evan R. Davis and Nicholas D. NaceThis volume addresses the teaching of satire written in English over the past three hundred years. For instructors covering current satire, it suggests ways to enrich students' understanding of voice, irony, and rhetoric and to explore the questions of how to define satire and how to determine what its ultimate aims are. For instructors teaching older satire, it demonstrates ways to help students gain knowledge of historical context, medium, and audience, while addressing more specific literary questions of technique and form. Readers will discover ways to introduce students to authors such as Swift and Twain, to techniques such as parody and verbal irony, and to the difficult subject of satire's offensiveness and elitism. This volume also helps teachers of a wide variety of courses, from composition to gateway courses and surveys, think about how to use modern satire in conceiving and structuring them.
The Teachings of Don B.: Satires, Parodies, Fables, Illustrated Stories, and Plays
by Donald BarthelmeBarthelme . . . happens to be one of a handful of American authors, there to make us look bad, who know instinctively how to stash the merchandise, bamboozle the inspectors, and smuggle their nocturnal contraband right on past the checkpoints of daylight 'reality.' Thomas Pynchon, from the Introduction A hypothetical episode of Batman hilariously slowed down to soap-opera speed. A game of baseball as played by T. S. Eliot and Willem Big Bull de Kooning. A recipe for feeding sixty pork-sotted celebrants at your daughter's wedding. An outlandishly illustrated account of a scientific quest for God. These astonishing tropes of the imagination could only have been generated by Donald Barthelme, who until his death in 1989 seemed intent on goosing American letters into taking a quantum leap. Gleeful, melancholy, erudite, and wonderfully subversive, The Teachings of Don B. is a literary testament cum time bomb, with the power to blast any reader into an altered state of consciousness. A small education in laughter, melancholy, and the English language.
Team Awkward
by Katy BirchallIn this hilarious second novel in The It Girl trilogy, painfully shy Anna’s awkward adventures continue as she decides to find the “thing” she’ll be famous for.There are good ways of starting school after Spring Break. But hiding in the bathroom because the video of you falling butt-first into a potted plant has gone viral is not one of them. If she’s going to be famous, Anna is determined to find a worthy “thing” to be famous for. Everyone else seems to have one—especially the new girl at school who’s distracting her crush, Connor, with a shared love of art. Luckily sports day is looming and Anna is limbering up! What could go wrong? Do you really have to ask that?
Team Human
by Justine Larbalestier Sarah Rees BrennanJust because Mel lives in New Whitby, a city founded by vampires, doesn't mean she knows any of the blood-drinking undead personally. They stay in their part of town; she says in hers. Until the day a vampire shows up at her high school. Worse yet, her best friend, Cathy, seems to be falling in love with him. It's up to Mel to save Cathy from a mistake she might regret for all eternity! On top of trying to help Cathy (whether she wants it or not), Mel is investigating a mysterious disappearance for another friend and discovering the attractions of a certain vampire wannabe. Combine all this with a cranky vampire cop, a number of unlikely romantic entanglements, and the occasional zombie, and soon Mel is hip-deep in an adventure that is equal parts hilarious and touching. Acclaimed authors Justine Larbalestier and Sarah Rees Brennan team up to create a witty and poignant story of cool vampires, warm friendships, and the changes that test the bonds of love.
Team Spirit (Dave the Unicorn #2)
by Pip BirdIn Dave the Unicorn: Team Spirit, the second entry in the laugh-out-loud illustrated chapter book series from Pip Bird and David O'Connell, Mira and her unicorn, Dave, tackle their greatest challenge yet: teamwork. Mira is excited for Unicorn School Field Day, even though her unicorn, Dave, loves donuts more than prancing. Mira’s teammates are counting on them—especially when the prize for winning Field Day is revealed to be the chance to go on a Magical Rainbow Quest.As Mira struggles to get her UBFF (Unicorn Best Friend Forever) to hurry to the finish line, a series of mysterious mishaps make Mira wonder if everyone is playing fair. Can she and Dave track down who’s sabotaging them before they end up in last place? This second book in the hilarious new chapter book series continues the story of Mira at Unicorn School and her unicorn Dave, who’s not the statuesque stallion we’re trained to expect. But Dave has a few tricks up his sleeve that remind Mira—and all of us—that friendship is more important than winning. Check out the other books in the Dave the Unicorn series! * Dave the Unicorn: Welcome to Unicorn School * Dave the Unicorn: Dance Party * Dave the Unicorn: Field Trip An Imprint Book
Team Up: El Toro & Friends (World of ¡Vamos!)
by Raúl the Third III"Fantastically fun! Kids will drink in every imaginative detail in El Toro’s wild world!" —Jeff Kinney, #1 New York Times bestselling author of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid seriesFrom New York Times bestselling, three-time Pura Belpré Award–winning author-illustrator Raúl the Third, Team Up reveals how El Toro and his fellow wrestlers become master luchadores in an action-packed, graphic-novel-style El Toro & Friends paper-over-board reader from the Eisner-nominated World of ¡Vamos!El Toro and friends make a great team! But that wasn't always the case.A long time ago, they went to Ricky Ratón's School of Lucha, learning everything from strength training to patience. When it comes time for one final test, El Toro and friends have to decide whether working alone is the best way to go or if teaming up might make things easier... and more fun!Pairing Spanish phrases with plenty of humor, this early reader graphic novel is essential for those who want an action-packed story and lots of laughs.
Teamwork Means You Can't Pick the Side that's Right (Dilbert #38)
by Scott AdamsHe's the icon of millions of corporate workers, the most popular cubicle dweller on this planet. He spends his days in endless meetings with incompetent supervisors, performing perfunctory tasks mixed with the occasional team-building, brainstorming, or management fad-of-the-day session. He has entertained us for more than two decades: He's Dilbert.Created in 1989 by Adams, in his own cubicle as a doodle distraction, Dilbert has found a home in the workplace, this generation's home away from home. Adams amuses readers with his portrayal of the absurdities of this environment with unfailing accuracy and precision. As readers of more than 2,000 newspapers, millions of books, and the newly revamped Dilbert.com site know, the familiar mouthless character with the upturned tie, his dog, Dogbert, the pointy-haired Boss, over-achieving Alice and underachieving Wally, Human Resources director Catbert, depict a world that's all too easy to recognize, complete with shrinking cubicles, clueless co-workers, focus groups and ill-conceived management concepts.In this all-new chronological collection, Adams further exploits the fodder of workaday life, making even the most cynical cubicle dweller laugh at our shared, absurd work lives.
Tears of the Giraffe (No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency #2)
by Alexander McCall SmithTHE SECOND BOOK IN THE BELOVED NO. 1 LADIES' DETECTIVE AGENCY SERIESThe one where Precious gains a new family . . . Mma Ramotswe of the No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency is hoping to set up home with Mr J.L.B. Maketoni. But first she must deal with his scheming, misbehaving maid. She also has to confront the most difficult case of her career so far: that of an American who went missing ten years ago, and about whom all leads have long since dried up.Then there are not one, but two sudden additions to Mma's family . . .
Tears of the Giraffe (No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency #2)
by Alexander McCall SmithTHE NO.1 LADIES' DETECTIVE AGENCY introduced the world to the one and only Precious Ramotswe - the engaging and sassy owner of Botswana's only detective agency. TEARS OF THE GIRAFFE, McCall Smith's second audiobook, takes us further into this world as we follow Mama Ramotswe into more daring situations ... Among her cases this time are wayward wives, unscrupulous maids, and the challenge to resolve a mother's pain for her son who is long lost on the African plains. Indeed, Mma Ramotswe's own impending marriage to the most gentlemanly of men, Mr J.L.B. Matekoni, the promotion of Mma's secretary to the dizzy heights of Assistant Detective, and the arrival of new members to the Matekoni family, all brew up the most humorous and charmingly entertaining of tales.* TEARS OF THE GIRAFFE was selected as one of the GUARDIAN's top ten 'Fiction Paperbacks of the Year, 2000
Tears of the Giraffe (No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency Series #2)
by Alexander Mccall SmithTHE NO. 1 LADIES' DETECTIVE AGENCY - Book 2Fans around the world adore the best-selling No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency series and its proprietor, Precious Ramotswe, Botswana's premier lady detective. In this charming series, Mma Ramotswe--with help from her loyal associate, Grace Makutsi--navigates her cases and her personal life with wisdom, good humor, and the occasional cup of tea. Precious Ramotswe is the eminently sensible and cunning proprietor of the only ladies' detective agency in Botswana. In Tears of the Giraffe she tracks a wayward wife, uncovers an unscrupulous maid, and searches for an American man who disappeared into the plains many years ago. In the midst of resolving uncertainties, pondering her impending marriage to a good, kind man, Mr. J. L. B. Matekoni, and the promotion of her talented secretary (a graduate of the Botswana Secretarial College, with a mark of 97 per cent), she also finds her family suddenly and unexpectedly increased by two.From the Trade Paperback edition.ased by two.From the Trade Paperback edition.
Teatro I: La escuela de las mujeres / El tartufo / Don Juan / El misántropo / Anfitrión
by MolièreUno de los mayores dramaturgos europeos en una edición magistral a cargo de Mauro Armiño. El presente volumen, primero de dos dedicados al teatro de Molière, reúne cinco de sus grandes comedias, estrenadas entre 1662 y 1668, cuando su compañía conquistó los escenarios de París. En La escuela de las mujeres tuvo su primer gran éxito; con El Tartufo desató el escándalo; en Don Juan enriqueció un nuevo mito europeo; con El misántropo ofreció un agudo análisis de la necedad; y en Anfitrión parodió los entresijos de la corte. En conjunto, estas piezas geniales no solo exponen las flaquezas humanas, sino que castigan con el ridículo a quienes más a salvo se creen de ellas. Nuestra edición, a cargo de Mauro Armiño, uno de los mejores traductores y críticos literarios de la actualidad, se completa con una espléndida introducción, notas explicativas y noticias sobre el contexto histórico-literario de las comedias.
Technically Yours
by Denise WilliamsA brand new romcom from Denise Williams, author of How to Fail at Flirting, The Fastest Way to Fall and Do You Take This Man. Seven years ago, he fell in love with a stranger he couldn't have - today, she's back in his life and the sparks between them threaten to set her career on fire. Pearl Harris has learned the hard way to be careful in work and in love. When she is appointed acting director of OurCode, a nonprofit aimed at inspiring high schoolers to code, she has a chance to make lasting change for the organization, but a scandal has put their reputation at risk. Further complicating matters, Pearl didn't expect the one man she hasn't stopped thinking about in seven years to be the newest member of her board of directors. Cord Matthews fell for Pearl when they met in an elevator seven years ago. She's just his type: smart, capable, and makes him laugh, but when she broke his heart, he decided love wasn't for him. After five years with no contact, their connection is immediate despite the many roadblocks in their way and Cord must consider breaking his ban on serious relationships. But going public with a romance between them might derail Pearl's career and the progress she's made at OurCode. Pearl and Cord both are hesitant to trust their feelings and take a risk as they grow closer, but it becomes impossible to keep ignoring the electricity between them. Cord is a skilled programmer, but a workplace romance might spell disaster for both of them, and love isn't easily debugged.
The Technicolor Time Machine (Gateway Essentials #87)
by Harry HarrisonL M Greenspan, the head of ailing Climactic Studios, gave producer, Barney Hendrickson, five days to get a major movie in the can - and Climactic out of it.Impossible?Not with Professor Hewett's miraculous presto chango time machine, the answer to Hollywood producer's prayer.Nipping back to AD 1,000 with a whole film crew and two glam stars, Barney sets out to prove that the Vikings discovered America five hundred years before Columbus - and to film the event in glorious Technicolour. But it's not as easy as it sounds, as they realise when history lets them down and their Viking Columbus fails to show up in the New World.
The Technicolor Time Machine
by Harry HarrisonWhy pay for costumes, scenery, props or actors when the most brilliant drama of all time is unfolding before your very eyes, in vivid color--in 1000 A.D.? The head of ailing Climactic Studios has given producer Barney Hendrickson five days to get a major movie in the can--and Climactic out of it. Impossible?Not with Professor Hewett's miraculous time machine, the answer to a Hollywood producer's prayer.Skipping back to AD 1,000 with a whole film crew and two glam stars, Barney sets out to prove that the Vikings discovered America five hundred years before Columbus--and to film the event in glorious technocolor. But it's not as easy as it sounds, as they realize when history lets them down and their Viking Columbus fails to show up in the New World...Join the film crew of the stupendous motion picture saga Viking Columbus as they journey back in time to capture history in the making, in Harry Harrison's hilarious time travel romp, The Technicolor Time Machine.At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
Techniques of Illusion: A Cultural and Media History of Stage Magic in the Late Nineteenth Century (Routledge Advances in Theatre & Performance Studies)
by Katharina ReinThis book explores stage conjuring during its “golden age,” from about 1860 to 1910. This study provides close readings highlighting four paradigmatic illusions of the time that stand in for different kinds of illusions typical of stage magic in the “golden age” and analyses them within their cultural and media-historical context: “Pepper’s Ghost,” the archetypical mirror illusion; “The Vanishing Lady,” staging a teleportation in a time of a dizzying acceleration of transport; “the levitation,” simulating weightlessness with the help of an extended steel machinery; and “The Second Sight,” a mind-reading illusion using up-to-date communication technologies. These close readings are completed by writings focusing on visual media and expanding the scope backwards and forwards in time, roughly to 1800 and to 2000. This exploration will be of great interest to students and scholars in theatre and performance studies.
Técnicas de coaching de Vladimir Putin
by Robert Sears¿Qué puede hacer Vadimir Putin por tu vida personal? Una guía para convertirte en el dictador que siempre has querido ser, inspirada en nuestro autócrata preferido. ¿Quieres saber cómo llevar tu relación de pareja? ¿Cómo educar a tus hijos? ¿Cómo interferir en el AMPA? ¿Cómo anexionar los espacios comunes de tu lugar de trabajo a tu imperio personal? ¿O quizás cómo derrocar a tus enemigos revelando información comprometida sobre esa vez que no se lavaron las manos al salir del baño? Estos y otros muchos interrogantes fundamentales encuentran su respuesta en décadas de una efectiva práctica de eliminación de contrincantes y de manipulación estratégica de procesos electorales. Lleno de anécdotas, ideas e ilustraciones para emular a Vladimir Putin a pequeña escala, el nuevo libro de Rob Sears es la guía perfecta para liberar al autócrata que todos llevamos dentro.
Técnicas de la mujer vasca para la doma y monta de maridos
by Óscar TerolÓscar Terol, autor de Todos nacemos vascos y Ponga un vasco en su vida, en Técnicas de la mujer vasca para la doma y monta de maridos cuenta con pelos (cortos) y señales el secreto mejor guardado de la humanidad: el influjo de la madre que nos parió relatado con el rigor y la técnica de un caricaturista callejero. Libre de eufemismos y de circunloquios cobardes, aquí tiene la clave secreta de «lo vasco», que no es otra que sus mujeres. ¿Sabe usted cuántas veces hay que decir «te quiero» a una mujer vasca para llevársela a la cama? ¿Qué insinúa exactamente una vasca cuando lo mira con determinación a los ojos? ¿Cuáles son sus armas de seducción? ¿Se ha preguntado alguna vez por el origen y la evolución del peinado de las vascas o por qué les da por envasar todo tipo de alimentos? La información que contiene el presente libro es privilegiada. Cuenta la verdad, toda la verdad y nada más que la verdad absoluta sobre las mujeres del País Vasco, su entorno y su selección, monta y doma de maridos. Un libro apto para todos los públicos -mujeres vascas, mujeres no vascas, hombres vascos y hombres no vascos- y para todos los bolsillos.