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There Was a Crooked Man: A Cat DeLuca Mystery (Cat DeLuca Mysteries #5)
by K. J. LarsenChicago private eye Cat DeLuca, founder of the Pants on Fire Detective Agency, catches liars and cheats—and, from time to time, killers.Cat's brief marriage to runaround Johnnie Rizzo was a bust. But it gave her the mad skills she needed for her agency. She doesn't investigate for insurance companies and she won't find your long lost Uncle Harry. But if you're in Chicagoland and you suspect your partner is stepping out, give her a call.Cat comes from a long line, and big family, of Chicago cops, stretching back to the day when her greatgrandfather gave Al Capone protection and a truck to move bootleg whiskey. Most DeLuca men are straight-up guys. Some are flexible, like Ferrari-driving Uncle Joey. But Cat's Poppa stands above the rest, a man of integrity who one day took a bullet when on duty and became a hero. So why, after someone kidnaps Captain Bob's dog and claims to have evidence of cop corruption, do Captain Bob and Poppa not only deny the accusation, but order Cat to leave it alone?Long ago when they were partners, the two cops responded to a hit-and-run that claimed the life of one of Bridgeport's most beloved citizens. Daniel Baumgarten, owner and proprietor of Baumgarten's Jewelry was killed in the street outside his shop. The unsolved death was relegated to a dusty cold case file where it was almost forgotten. Until now.Meanwhile Cat's romance with FBI Agent Chance Savino still gives her goose bumps. Her Mama's latest scheme to marry her off involves a romantic cruise, insane amounts of champagne, and a hijacked priest to tie the knot. But saving Poppa and Captain Bob comes first.There Was a Crooked Man is another funfilled, surprising page-turner. It's a story of greed and betrayal. And the utterly astonishing things we do to save the ones we love.
There Was a Young Man from Nantucket: 1,001 Lewd Limericks Guaranteed to Amuse and Offend
by Ronald StanzaHere now is a steamy collection Of limericks rare. Each selection Will run for five lines, Contain marvelous rhymes- Detailing sex acts of subtle complexion. Some readers may think that it's crude To offer for sale what is lewd But if you're offended By what is appended, We'll say what you are; you're a prude!
There Was an Old Dragon Who Swallowed a Knight
by Ben Mantle Penny Parker KlostermannWe all know that "there was an old lady" who swallowed lots of things. Now meet the old dragon who swallows pretty much an entire kingdom! Will he ever learn a little moderation?! This rollicking rhyme is full to bursting with sight gags, silly characters, and plenty of burps! Parents and kids alike will delight in Ben Mantle's precisely funny illustrations and in Penny Parker Klostermann's wacky rhymes. In days of yore, before a certain fly's ultimately fatal encounter with an Old Lady, there was an old dragon who felt rather peckish. "There was an old dragon who swallowed a knight. / I don't know why he swallowed the knight // It's not polite!" He follows the knight with the knight's steed ("that galloped around at a terrible speed"). Then a squire, a cook, a lady, a castle, and finally a moat are each swallowed in turn. But..."With all of that water, he started to bloat. / And that's when the dragon roared, and I quote: / 'Okay, enough! I've had enough-- / More than enough of this swallowing stuff!' " So realizing that eating all those things might have been "a tad impolite," the old dragon burps them all out in reverse except the knight (which is "ahhh...just right"). Klostermann's debut is a rollicking and warped Medieval take on the well-worn cumulative rhyme. Prolific British animator and illustrator Mantle's expressive and bright cartoon illustrations of the red, horned dragon (and the contents of his stomach) are a perfect match. The antics within the dragon's stomach--every image of the steed is accompanied by a little "clippity, clippity, clippity, clop" in teeny type--and his copious burping will leave 'em laughing. No matter how many swallowed-fly titles you own, this one belongs on your shelf too. KIrkus, May 1,2015From the Hardcover edition.
There Was an Old Dragon Who Swallowed a Knight: Read & Listen Edition
by Penny Parker KlostermannWe all know that &“there was an old lady&” who swallowed lots of things. Now meet the old dragon who swallows pretty much an entire kingdom! Will he ever learn a little moderation?! This rollicking rhyme is full to bursting with sight gags, silly characters, and plenty of burps! Parents and kids alike will delight in Ben Mantle&’s precisely funny illustrations and in Penny Parker Klostermann&’s wacky rhymes.This Read & Listen edition contains audio narration.
There Was an Old Lady Who Picked a Pumpkin! (Scholastic Reader, Level 1)
by Lucille ColandroThe Old Lady from There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Bat! is back for a fall adventure -- now in a bestselling Level 1 reader format!The old lady says "Hooray!"We have a trip today!Grab your bag. Say hello!Get on the bus. Off we go!The Old Lady heads to the farm in this Level 1 story featuring simple sentences, words to sound out, and rhymes just right for the beginning reader! Scholastic Readers encourage the joy and fun of reading with topics that kids love -- perfect for children beginning to read on their own!
There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Bell! (Digital Read Along)
by Lucille ColandroA wacky new Christmas version of the classic "There Was an Old Lady" song, now with read-along audio track!This time, the hungry old lady swallows a bell, bows, gifts, a sack, a sleigh, and some reindeer! She's about to swallow a candy cane for dessert when she hears "Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa Claus is waiting for a ride! Watch what happes when she whistles, with amazing results!With rhyming text and funny illustrations, this lively version of a classic song will appeal to young readers with every turn of the page -- a fun story for Christmastime!This is a wonderful companion to Colandro and Lee's other Old Lady books.!
There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Clover
by Lucille ColandroThere was an Old Lady who swallowed things over and over, and now she's come back to swallow a clover! She's back! That lovely old lady has returned just in time for St. Patrick's Day. Now she's swallowing items to make the perfect rainbow to hide a pot of gold.
There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Clover!
by Jared D. Lee Lucille ColandroThere was an Old Lady who swallowed things over and over, and now she's come back to swallow a clover!She's back! That lovely old lady has returned just in time for St. Patrick's Day. Now she's swallowing items to make the perfect rainbow to hide a pot of gold.
There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Dragon!
by Lucille ColandroThe bestselling Old Lady series is back...with a magical twist!The Old Lady is back and this time she's swallowed a princess, a dragon, and a knight...to create a classic fairytale!With rhyming text and hilarious illustrations, this lively song will appeal to readers both old and new. A perfect year-round read!
There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly! (There Was An Old Lad Ser.)
by Jared D. Lee Lucille ColandroIt's the Old Lady as you've never seen her before! Now she's swallowing animals from the classic story...to create a home full of lovable pets!With rhyming text and hilarious illustrations, this is the original song young readers know and love with a wacky twist. The perfect story to read all year long!
There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly
by Simms TabackThere was an old lady who swallowed a fly, a favorite American folk poem, was first heard in the United States in the 1940's. Using an ever-expanding die-cut hole, Simms Taback gives us a rollicking, eye-popping version of the well-loved poem.
There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Frog! (There Was An Old Lad Ser.)
by Jared D. Lee Lucille ColandroSpring is in the air, and everyone's favorite old lady is ready to celebrate! That zany old lady is back--and with a serious case of spring fever! This time she's swallowing items to make the most of the season...with a beautiful garden! With rhyming text and funny illustrations, this lively version of the classic song will appeal to young readers with every turn of the page--a wacky story for the first day of spring!
There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Rose!
by Lucille Colandro Jared LeeOur favorite lady is back and hungry for Valentine's Day treats! <P><P> That lovely old lady has returned just in time for Valentine's Day. Now she's swallowing items to make a very special gift for her valentine! <P><P>With rhyming text and hilarious illustrations, this wacky version of the classic song will appeal to young readers as they follow the Old Lady on a wild Valentine's Day adventure.
There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Spoon! - A Holiday Picture Book: A Holiday Picture Book
by Lucille ColandroA gingerbread-themed companion to the beloved Old Lady series!The old lady is at it again, and this time she’s swallowing a spoon… while humming a holiday tune! You won’t believe why this old lady swallowed a spoon, a bowl, some flour, a pan, and more! Read this book and find out why! With funny illustrations and hilarious text, this read-aloud is sure to become a Christmas treat!
There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Truck
by Lucille ColandroA hysterical installment of the beloved Old Lady series!There was an old lady who swallowed a truck. I don't know why she swallowed a truck but it didn't get stuck. You won't believe why the Old Lady swallowed a truck, a tire, a chain, some wood, some metal, some tools, and some screws!Filled with hilarious illustrations and fun rhyming text, this volume is sure to be a hit with young readers!
There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Turkey!
by Lucille ColandroThe old lady is at it again, and this time she's swallowing a Turkey . . . she's always been quirky!The old lady is at it again, and this time she's swallowing a Turkey . . . she's always been quirky! You won't believe why this old lady swalloweda turkey, a ball, a hat, a balloon, a boat, some wheels, anda horn of plenty! Read this book and find out why!
There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Worm!
by Lucille ColandroCelebrate Earth Day with a twist on the classic song from the bestselling There Was an Old Lady series for kids! You’ll never guess what she’ll swallow next!There was an old lady who swallowed a worm.I don’t know why she swallowed the worm,but she started to squirm!The Old Lady is back and this time she's swallowing a worm, some dirt, a flower, a bee, a bird...and more! This Earth Day-themed twist on the classic rhyme will delight and entertain young readers, both old and new!Also in the There Was an Old Lady series:There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Dragon!There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Shell!There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed Some Leaves!and more!
There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed Fly Guy (Fly Guy #4)
by Tedd ArnoldAfter accidentally swallowing her grandson's pet fly, Grandma tries to retrieve it by consuming progressively larger animals.
There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed Fly Guy (Fly Guy #4)
by Tedd ArnoldBuzz's grandma swallowed Fly Guy! What will she swallow next?Buzz is visiting Grandma, and Fly Guy comes along for the ride. But Grandma swallows Fly Guy, then a spider, then a bird, then a cat, and then a dog. Just as Grandma is about to swallow a horse, Fly Guy shouts "BUZZ!" Buzz is worried, but there is nothing Fly Guy can't handle! He flies out, and all the other critters follow.Using hyperbole, puns, slapstick, and silly drawings, Tedd Arnold delivers an easy reader that is full of fun in his NEW YORK TIMES bestselling Fly Guy series.
There Was an Old Mermaid Who Swallowed a Shark! (Digital Read Along)
by Lucille ColandroScholastic's bestselling Old Lady stars in a brand-new adventure series for beginning readers chock-full of hilarious laughs and fun facts!There was an old mermaid who swallowed a shark. I don't know why she swallowed a shark, but it left no mark!Scholastic's bestselling Old Lady is starring in a brand-new adventure series that will make you laugh AND learn! In this new spin-off, the Old Lady turns into an Old Mermaid, travels down into the ocean, and swallows a shark. . . and a squid, and a fish, and an eel, and a crab, and a sea star, and a clam. . . Why? Well, it was fun to cram her mouth with a clam! Two new characters lead the reader through this hilarious adventure while exchanging some awesome facts about the creatures down under for a light take on nonfiction that's perfect for this age. With expanded sea creature back matter and a search-and-find game at the end, this Old Mermaid is making quite a splash!
There Was an Old Pirate Who Swallowed a Map! (There Was An Old Lad Ser.)
by Lucille ColandroScholastic's bestselling OLD LADY stars in a brand-new adventure series chock-full of hilarious laughs and fun facts!There was an old pirate who swallowed a map. I don't know why she swallowed a map -- ARGH! -- but it wasn't a trap!Scholastic's bestselling OLD LADY is starring in a brand-new adventure series that will make you laugh AND learn! In this new spin-off, the OLD LADY turns into an OLD PIRATE who travels across the seas, swallowing a map . . . and a rope, and a sword, and a spyglass, and an anchor, and a flag, and a treasure. . . Why? Well, it was a pleasure to swallow that treasure! Two new characters lead the reader through this hilarious adventure while exchanging some awesome facts about life on the open seas for a light take on nonfiction that's perfect for this age. With expanded back matter about life on a ship and a search-and-find game at the end, this OLD PIRATE definitely has sea legs!
There Was an Old Scientist Who Swallowed a Dinosaur!
by Lucille ColandroYou won't believe why the Old Scientist swallowed a dinosaur, a fern, a rock, a pick, a dustpan, a sifting screen, a pen, and a magnifying glass!There was an old scientist who swallowed a dinosaur. I don't know why she swallowed a dinosaur but she needed to explore.Filled with hilarious illustrations, fun rhyming text, and real facts about dinosaurs, this is the latest book in the bestselling Old Lady series that's perfect for young readers.
There Was an Old Woman Who Lived in a Book
by Jomike TejidoThe True Story of the 3 Little Pigs meets There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly in this clever, irreverent update of our most beloved children's classics. The little old woman who lives in a book has lost her children! But instead of sitting around and waiting for them to show up, in a refreshingly empowering, feminist take on the classic tale, she departs on a mission to find her kids herself--even if it means popping into every other fairy tale and nursery rhyme in town! She'll enlist the help of Humpty Dumpty, Jack and his beanstalk, Princess Beauty, the Three Bears, and more familiar characters in her quest to rescue her kids. This silly, irreverent picture book is a clever jaunt through our most beloved children's stories--and it's sure to become the next modern day classic.
There Was A Coyote Who Swallowed A Flea
by Jennifer Ward Steve GrayThere was a coyote who swallowed a flea, Plucked from his knee, that tickly flea. Yippee-o-Ki-Yee! Skinny ol' Coyote delights readers of all ages as he swallows his way through this delicious southwestern-flavored retelling of a well-loved rhyme. As Coyote gets bigger, the story gets zanier as a bird, a bull, and even an entire cactus end up as dinner. It's pure fun for everyone—even that little flea.
There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed Some Leaves!
by Lucille ColandroOur favorite old lady is back and swallowing autumn items!That wild old lady is back swallowing fall-themed items. What can you make from leaves, clothes, a pumpkin, and rope? That's right, a scarecrow!Perfect for back-to-school time.