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Thirty Thousand Bottles of Wine and a Pig Called Helga: A not-so-perfect tree change
by Todd AlexanderOnce I was the poster boy for corporate success, but now I’m crashing through the bush in a storm in search of a missing pig. How the hell did we end up here? Todd and Jeff have had enough of the city. Sick of the daily grind and workaday corporate shenanigans, they throw caution to the wind and buy 100 acres in the renowned Hunter Valley wine region, intent on living a golden bucolic life and building a fabulous B&B, where they can offer the joys of country life to heart-weary souls. Todd will cook, Jeff will renovate. They have a vineyard, they can make wine. They have space, they can grow their own food. They have everything they need to make their dreams come true. How hard can it be?‘This joyously honest account will make you laugh till it hurts, and you’ll shed more than a few tears while being captivated by Todd, Jeff and their menagerie of loveable animals’ Bradley Trevor Greive AM, international bestselling author of The Blue Day Book and Penguin Bloom
This Again?
by Adam BorbaHow far would you go to have the best day of your life? This funny and thrilling time travel adventure tackles questions of fate and free will. Noah Nicholson has plenty to be grateful for. He has solid grades and great friends, he&’s finally becoming closer with Lucy Martinez—his crush since second grade—and he just might have a chance to be elected class president next week. But despite all that, Noah fixates on the should&’ve-beens and could&’ve-beens and the belief that he can make his life perfect. Then Noah comes upon an opportunity to do just that. At the local bowling alley, Noah runs into someone most unexpected: himself. The look-alike is him from nine days in the future, and he insists that if Noah does every ridiculous thing he says—from quacking like a duck in science class to painting himself green—they can achieve their dream of perfection. However, fate may have other plans, and Future Noah may not be entirely honest about what he&’s doing there.… Perfect for fans of Rebecca Stead and Louis Sachar, This Again? takes readers on an incredible journey through time, mind, and middle school.
This Beautiful Life
by Helen SchulmanWhen the Bergamots move from a comfortable upstate college town to New York City, they're not quite sure how they'll adapt-or what to make of the strange new world of well-to-do Manhattan. Soon, though, Richard is consumed by his executive role at a large New York university, and Liz, who has traded in her academic career to oversee the lives of their children, is hectically ferrying young Coco around town. Fifteen-year-old Jake is gratefully taken into the fold by a group of friends at Wildwood, an elite private school. But the upper-class cocoon in which they have enveloped themselves is ripped apart when Jake wakes up one morning after an unchaperoned party and finds an email in his in-box from an eighth-grade admirer. Attached is a sexually explicit video she has made for him. Shocked, stunned, maybe a little proud, and scared-a jumble of adolescent emotion-he forwards the video to a friend, who then for-wards it to a friend. Within hours, it's gone viral, all over the school, the city, the world. The ensuing scandal threatens to shatter the Bergamots' sense of security and identity, and, ultimately, their happiness. They are a good family faced with bad choices, and how they choose to react, individually and at one another's behest, places everything they hold dear in jeopardy. This Beautiful Life is a devastating exploration of the blurring boundaries of privacy and the fragility of self, a clear-eyed portrait of modern life that will have readers debating their assumptions about family, morality, and the sacrifices and choices we make in the name of love.
This Beautiful Life
by Helen SchulmanWhen the Bergamots move from a comfortable upstate college town to New York City, they're not quite sure how they'll adapt--or what to make of the strange new world of well-to-do Manhattan. Soon, though, Richard is consumed by his executive role at a large New York university, and Liz, who has traded in her academic career to oversee the lives of their children, is hectically ferrying young Coco around town.Fifteen-year-old Jake is gratefully taken into the fold by a group of friends at Wildwood, an elite private school.But the upper-class cocoon in which they have enveloped themselves is ripped apart when Jake wakes up one morning after an unchaperoned party and finds an email in his in-box from an eighth-grade admirer. Attached is a sexually explicit video she has made for him. Shocked, stunned, maybe a little proud, and scared--a jumble of adolescent emotion--he forwards the video to a friend, who then forwards it to a friend. Within hours, it's gone viral, all over the school, the city, the world.The ensuing scandal threatens to shatter the Bergamots' sense of security and identity, and, ultimately, their happiness. They are a good family faced with bad choices, and how they choose to react, individually and at one another's behest, places everything they hold dear in jeopardy.This Beautiful Life is a devastating exploration of the blurring boundaries of privacy and the fragility of self, a clear-eyed portrait of modern life that will have readers debating their assumptions about family, morality, and the sacrifices and choices we make in the name of love.
This Beautiful Life
by Helen SchulmanWhen the Bergamots move from a comfortable upstate college town to New York City, they're not quite sure how they'll adapt--or what to make of the strange new world of well-to-do Manhattan. Soon, though, Richard is consumed by his executive role at a large New York university, and Liz, who has traded in her academic career to oversee the lives of their children, is hectically ferrying young Coco around town.Fifteen-year-old Jake is gratefully taken into the fold by a group of friends at Wildwood, an elite private school.But the upper-class cocoon in which they have enveloped themselves is ripped apart when Jake wakes up one morning after an unchaperoned party and finds an email in his in-box from an eighth-grade admirer. Attached is a sexually explicit video she has made for him. Shocked, stunned, maybe a little proud, and scared--a jumble of adolescent emotion--he forwards the video to a friend, who then forwards it to a friend. Within hours, it's gone viral, all over the school, the city, the world.The ensuing scandal threatens to shatter the Bergamots' sense of security and identity, and, ultimately, their happiness. They are a good family faced with bad choices, and how they choose to react, individually and at one another's behest, places everything they hold dear in jeopardy.This Beautiful Life is a devastating exploration of the blurring boundaries of privacy and the fragility of self, a clear-eyed portrait of modern life that will have readers debating their assumptions about family, morality, and the sacrifices and choices we make in the name of love.
This Bed Thy Centre: The Modern Classic
by Pamela Hansford Johnson'Striking first novel . . . qualities of vitality and humour which set it apart.' New York Times Described by the New York Times upon her death as 'one of Britain's best-known novelists', plunge yourself into the wry world of Pamela Hansford Johnson in this story of seduction and marriage, perfect for fans of Elizabeth Jane Howard and Barbara Pym.******************Sixteen-year-old Elsie Cotton is curious about sex, but in this 1930s London suburb, there's no one who is willing to talk to her about it. Her widowed mother refuses to engage with the fact she's growing up, her art teacher tells her she'll find out about it soon enough, and Patty Maginnis would probably know, but Elsie can't find a way to ask her. The only person who will happily help is her boyfriend, Roly; but Elsie is all to aware of the risks... but as their relationship intensifies and her curiosity grows, what options are left to her?Banned from Battersea library, blasted by reviewers for being 'lewd' and earning the author abusive notes through the letterbox on its publication in 1935, This Bed Thy Centre is the controversial debut by Pamela Hansford Johnson that marked the start of her distinguished career. ******************Praise for Pamela Hansford Johnson:'Witty, satirical and deftly malicious' Anthony Burgess'A remarkable craftswoman' A.S. Byatt'Hansford Johnson at her wittiest is Waugh mingled with Malcolm Bradbury Ruth Rendell'A writer whose memory fully deserves to be kept alive' Jonathan Coe
This Bird Has Flown: A Novel
by Susanna HoffsThis delightfully funny and steamy novel about music, fate, and love from beloved songwriter and Bangles co-founder Susanna Hoffs is "a total knockout" and "the smart, ferocious rock-star redemption romance you didn&’t know you needed" (New York Times Book Review). Jane Start is thirty-three, broke, and recently single. Ten years prior, she had a hit song—written by world-famous superstar Jonesy—but Jane hasn&’t had a breakout since. Now she's living out of four garbage bags at her parents&’ house, reduced to performing to Karaoke tracks in Las Vegas. Rock bottom. But when her longtime manager Pippa sends Jane to London to regroup, she&’s seated next to an intriguing stranger on the flight—the other Tom Hardy, an elegantly handsome Oxford professor of literature. Jane is instantly smitten by Tom, and soon, truly inspired. But it&’s not Jane&’s past alone that haunts her second chance at stardom, and at love. Is Tom all that he seems? And can Jane emerge from the shadow of Jonesy's earlier hit, and into the light of her own? In turns deeply sexy, riotously funny, and utterly joyful, This Bird Has Flown explores love, passion, and the ghosts of our past, and offers a glimpse inside the music business that could only come from beloved songwriter Susanna Hoffs. "Clever and entertaining . . . with an insider&’s feel for the mixed blessings of pop fame." —Los Angeles Times"Part British romcom, part Jane Eyre, and one hundred percent enjoyable."—Tom Perrotta"In this sexy, page-turning treat, Susanna Hoffs writes as engagingly as she sings.&” —Helen Fielding"This isn&’t just a book, it&’s a love song, and it should come as no surprise that Susanna Hoffs has crafted the perfect one to put on your playlist.&” ―Christina Lauren "A sweet and tender romance—and a valentine to music." —NPR &“This book is a blast . . . about art and new beginnings and love and friendship and taking risks, it&’s such a fun read.&” ―Jasmine Guillory
This Body's Not Big Enough for Both of Us: A Novel
by Edgar Cantero"Cantero has written the funniest private investigator this side of Peter Sellers. How can you not love the warring siblings, opposites in a single body, as they outwit everyone they meet? You will. You will love them."--Josh MalermanFrom the New York Times bestselling author of Meddling Kids comes a mind-blowing, gender-bending, genre-smashing romp through the entire pantheon of action and noir. It is also a bold, tautly crafted novel about family, being weird, and claiming your place in your own crazy story. In a dingy office in Fisherman's Wharf, the glass panel in the door bears the names of A. Kimrean and Z. Kimrean. Private Eyes. Behind the door there is only one desk, one chair, one scrawny androgynous P.I. in a tank top and skimpy waistcoat. A.Z., as they are collectively known, are twin brother and sister. He's pure misanthropic logic, she's wild hedonistic creativity. The Kimreans have been locked in mortal battle since they were in utero...which is tricky because they, very literally, share one single body. That's right. One body, two pilots. The mystery and absurdity of how Kimrean functions, and how they subvert every plotline, twist, explosion, and gunshot--and confuse every cop, neckless thug, cartel boss, ninja, and femme fatale--in the book is pure Cantero magic. Someone is murdering the sons of the ruthless drug cartel boss known as the Lyon in the biggest baddest town in California--San Carnal. The notorious A.Z. Kimrean must go to the sin-soaked, palm-tree-lined streets of San Carnal, infiltrate the Lyon's inner circle, and find out who is targeting his heirs, and while they are at it, rescue an undercover cop in too deep, deal with a plucky young stowaway, and stop a major gang war from engulfing California. They'll face every plot device and break every rule Elmore Leonard wrote before they can crack the case, if they don't kill each other (themselves) first. This Body's Not Big Enough for Both of Us is a brilliantly subversive and comic thriller celebrating noir detectives, Die Hard, Fast & Furious, and the worst case of sibling rivalry, that can only come from the mind of Edgar Cantero.
This Book Has Balls: Sports Rants from the MVP of Talking Trash
by Michael RapaportMichael Rapaport, actor, Top 50 podcaster, award-winning film maker, and sports fanatic, is here to set the world straight on the greatest and downright worst athletes, players, teams, and jerseys—while refusing to mention statistics, analytics, or anything else that isn’t pure hustle.In 1979, nine-year-old Michael Rapaport decided he was going to do whatever it took to be a pro baller. He practiced and practiced, but by the time he was fifteen, he realized there was no place for a slow, white Jewish kid in the NBA. So he found another way to channel his obsession with sports: talking trash. In This Book Has Balls, Rapaport uses his signature smack-talk style and in-your-face humor to discuss everything from why LeBron will never be like Mike, that Tiger needs the ladies to get his golf game back, and how he once thought Mary Lou Retton was his true love. And, of course, why next year will be the year the New York Knicks win the championship. This book is a series of rants—some controversial, some affectionate, but all incredibly hilarious.
This Book Is for You: I Hope You Find It Mildly Uplifting
by Worry LinesBeloved artist Worry Lines shares a sweetly funny and deeply relatable illustrated story about hope, worry, and chocolate chip cookies.Worry Lines has captured hearts around the world by posting daily drawings on Instagram. In this book, Worry Lines interweaves these fan-favorites into an entirely new story about the making of the book itself. Charting the creative process from its anxiety-riddled beginning to its (hopefully) hopeful end, This Book Is for You is a charming and honest portrait of worry. This book is for you if you are:1. A Brave Worrier (BW)2. An Absolute Legend (AL)3. Anywhere from Mildly Concerned About Something (MCAS) to Deeply Anxious About Everything (DAAE)
This Book Is Gay
by Juno DawsonLesbian. Bisexual. Queer. Transgender. Straight. Curious. This book is for everyone, regardless of gender or sexual preference. This book is for anyone who's ever dared to wonder. This book is for YOU. There's a long-running joke that, after "coming out," a lesbian, gay guy, bisexual, or trans person should receive a membership card and instruction manual. THIS IS THAT INSTRUCTION MANUAL. You're welcome. <p><p> Inside you'll find the answers to all the questions you ever wanted to ask: from sex to politics, hooking up to stereotypes, coming out and more. This candid, funny, and uncensored exploration of sexuality and what it's like to grow up LGBT also includes real stories from people across the gender and sexual spectrums, not to mention hilarious illustrations. <p> You will be entertained. You will be informed. But most importantly, you will know that however you identify (or don't) and whomever you love, you are exceptional. You matter. And so does this book.
This Book Is Gay
by Juno DawsonThe bestselling young adult non-fiction book on sexuality and gender!Lesbian. Gay. Bisexual. Transgender. Queer. Intersex. Straight. Curious. This book is for everyone, regardless of gender or sexual preference. This book is for anyone who's ever dared to wonder. This book is for YOU.This candid, funny, and uncensored exploration of sexuality and what it's like to grow up LGBTQ also includes real stories from people across the gender and sexual spectrums, not to mention hilarious illustrations.Inside this revised and updated edition, you'll find the answers to all the questions you ever wanted to ask, with topics like:Stereotypes—the facts and fictionComing out as LGBTWhere to meet people like youThe ins and outs of gay sexHow to flirtAnd so much more!You will be entertained. You will be informed. But most importantly, you will know that however you identify (or don't) and whomever you love, you are exceptional. You matter. And so does this book.This book is for:LGBTQIA+ teens, tweens, and adultsReaders looking to learn more about the LGBTQIA+ communityParents of gay kids and other LGBT youthEducators looking for advice about the LGBTQIA+ communityPraise for This Book is Gay:A Guardian Best Book of the Year2018 Garden State Teen Book Award Winner"The book every LGBT person would have killed for as a teenager, told in the voice of a wise best friend. Frank, warm, funny, USEFUL."—Patrick Ness, New York Times bestselling author"This egregious gap has now been filled to a fare-thee-well by Dawson's book."—Booklist *STARRED REVIEW*
This Book Is Not a Present
by Max GreenfieldA hilarious picture book companion to I Don't Want to Read This Book by actor Max Greenfield.We all know kids who carry a book everywhere they go. Kids who can't stop reading, even if it's long after bedtime. Kids who love nothing more than sitting quietly in the corner, turning page after page... This book is a love letter to all the other kids. The ones who wouldn't dream of asking for a book as a present. The ones who unwrap the box hoping to find anything—a dog, a skateboard, even socks—besides a book. Packed with clever, fourth-wall-breaking gags from Max Greenfield (New Girl) and eye-popping art from New York Times bestselling illustrator Mike Lowery, this ideal read-aloud may not wag its tail or come with wheels, but it's sure to have even the most reluctant bibliophiles laughing all the way to the end.
This Book Is Overdue!: How Librarians and Cybrarians Can Save Us All
by Marilyn JohnsonIn This Book is Overdue!, acclaimed author Marilyn Johnson celebrates libraries and librarians, and, as she did in her popular first book, The Dead Beat, discovers offbeat and eloquent characters in the quietest corners. In defiance of doomsayers, Johnson finds librarians more vital and necessary than ever, as they fuse the tools of the digital age with love for the written word and the enduring values of truth, service to all, and free speech. This Book Is Overdue! is a romp through the ranks of information professionals who organize our messy world and offer old-fashioned human help through the maze.
This Book Isn't Safe
by Colin FurzeColin Furze, five-time Guinness World Record Holder and YouTube's undisputed king of crazy inventions, instructs fans and curious young inventors on how to build ten brand new wacky inventions at home with an affordable tool kit.Colin Furze's bonkers and brilliant inventions such as a homemade hoverbike, DIY Wolverine Claws, an alarm clock ejector bed, and Hoover shoes have earned him 4.5 million YouTube subscribers and more than 450 million video views. Now Colin is on a mission to inspire a new generation of budding inventors with This Book Isn't Safe! This Book Isn't Safe contains instructions on how to make ten brand new inventions with a basic at-home toolkit, alongside behind-the-scenes stories about some of Colin's greatest inventions and top secret tips and tricks straight from his invention bunker (aka a shed in his backyard in Stamford Lincolnshire).
This Book Just Ate My Dog!
by Richard ByrneWhen her dog disappears into the gutter of the book, Bella calls for help. But when the helpers disappear too, Bella realizes it will take more than a tug on the leash to put things right. Cleverly using the physicality of the book,This book just ate my dog!is inventive, ingenious, and just pure kid-friendly fun! Picture descriptions present.
This Book Loves You
by PewDiePieThis Book Loves You by PewDiePie is a collection of beautifully illustrated inspirational sayings by which you should live your life. If you follow each and every one, your life will become easier, more fabulous, more rewarding. Imagine what a chilled-out and wonderful human being people would think you were if you lived by the simple principle "You can never fail if you never try." Your wasted life would be an inspiration to others. Think of all the pointless, unhappy striving you could simply give up. Throw away that guitar! Give up on your dreams! Embrace your astounding mediocrity. This Book Loves You has something for everyone--or at least everyone willing to give up and stop caring. If all else fails, remember: "Don&’t be yourself. Be a pizza. Everyone loves pizza."
This Book Will Get You to Sleep!
by Jory JohnFor little ones reluctant to say good night, this laugh-out-loud story from beloved author Jory John and internationally acclaimed illustrator Olivier Tallec will guide them through different methods of falling asleep—until they might just get tired after all.ATTENTION, READER: This book is going to MAKE YOU TIRED! It will CALM YOU DOWN! Yes, this book WILL PUT YOU TO SLEEP! How? Easy. There are monster trucks dashing across the pages. There are sheep being chased by dragons. There are electric guitars wailing throughout. Plus so MUCH MORE! Yep. All the typical stuff that makes you sleepy. So . . . are you asleep yet? No? Well, maybe another method would work better . . . So read on, and it's guaranteed you'll start to snooze!
This Book Will Make You Kinder: An Empathy Handbook
by Henry James GarrettFrom the creator of Drawings of Dogs, a warmly illustrated and thoughtful examination of empathy and the necessity of being kinderThe kindness we owe one another goes far beyond the everyday gestures of feeding someone else's parking meter--although it's important not to downplay those small acts. Kindness can also mean much more. In this timely, insightful guide, Henry James Garrett lays out the case for developing a strong, courageous, moral kindness, one that will help you fight cruelty and make the world a more empathetic place.So, how could a book possibly make you kinder? It would need to answer two questions: • Why are you kind at all? and, • Why aren't you kinder?In these pages, building on his academic studies in metaethics and using his signature-sweet animal cartoons, Henry James Garrett sets out to do just that, exploring the sources and the limitations of human empathy and the many ways, big and small, that we can work toward being our best and kindest selves for the people around us and the society we need to build.
This Book Will Make You Kinder: An Empathy Handbook
by Henry James GarrettWhy are you kind?This book will make you kinder by introducing you to your empathy, and by pointing out what limits that empathy. Not just the everyday kindness of taking out your neighbour's bins - the strong, courageous, moral kindness of fighting cruelty. It's needed now more than ever. Unkindness has been given new energy in recent years.So get to know your empathy a little better. Where it comes from, and why every human - and some animals - have it. Empathy is what makes us kind, but it must be combined with a conscious effort to learn about different kinds of people. A world in which everyone acted on their empathy would be a very kind world indeed. Let's work toward that world.
This Book Will Make You Kinder: An Empathy Handbook
by Henry James GarrettWhy are you kind?This book will make you kinder by introducing you to your empathy, and by pointing out what limits that empathy. Not just the everyday kindness of taking out your neighbour's bins - the strong, courageous, moral kindness of fighting cruelty. It's needed now more than ever. Unkindness has been given new energy in recent years.So get to know your empathy a little better. Where it comes from, and why every human - and some animals - have it. Empathy is what makes us kind, but it must be combined with a conscious effort to learn about different kinds of people. A world in which everyone acted on their empathy would be a very kind world indeed. Let's work toward that world.
This Book Will Not Be Fun
by Cirocco Dunlap*A 2018 Children's and Teen Choice Book Award Finalist!A mouse who acts as a careful custodian of his book tries to guarantee his reader some peace and order in spite of escalating chaos. For fans of The Book With No Pictures and This Book Just Ate My Dog!A book is no place for tomfoolery, and this mouse assures us that his book is to be no exception. Just please ignore that Word-Eating Flying Whale, and—oh, no, the lights have gone out. Wait, what is THAT?! Nothing to fear. Everything is under control. . . . Readers will delight as this charming yet uptight mouse is challenged and subverted by gloriously imaginative creatures that are like nothing you&’ve ever seen. Will our little mouse succumb to the attractiveness of their overwhelming exuberance? Newcomer Cirocco Dunlap delivers an on-point debut picture-book text that dances outside the boundaries of its pages. Olivier Tallec breathes extra lunacy into this nutty little world with his absurdist palette and amusing forms.
This Book Will Put You to Sleep
by Chronicle Books“A compendium of short, boring texts guaranteed to dull you into a peaceful slumber.” —BustleIt is sadly true that it is not always easy to fall asleep. This gently amusing, highly effective anthology of soporific dullness has been carefully curated to put readers to sleep as quickly as possible. With stultifying illustrations and pages of sheep to count, this giftable godsend for the under-rested features dozens of snoozy short texts, including “The Motion of Sand Dunes,” “The Administrative Bureaucracy of the Byzantine Empire,” “White Noise: A Technical Explanation,” and many dozens more—though good luck reading very far on any one evening. Insomniacs will also appreciate “A Staring Contest with Fifty Cats,” “Some Interesting Mathematical Theorems,” “The Dullest Entries from Interesting Diaries,” and other zzzzzzzz.“Often intriguing and a little addictive. For every line perfectly judged to knock you unconscious (‘Farmers and ecologists are among those who can benefit from a full understanding of the comparative rates of reproduction in insect pests’), there’s another to keep you up (‘There are no canals on the island of Guadalcanal’). You may well fall asleep after a page or two, but you’ll be back the next night for more.” —The Guardian“A book of soporific pieces on such fascinating subjects as ‘A Few Facts About Roundabouts’ and ‘How Rocks Become Pebbles.’” —Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
This Book Will Save Your Life
by A. M. Homes"This Book Will Save Your Life" is a vivid story about compassion, transformation, and what can happen if you are willing to lose yourself and open up to the world around you.
This Calls for a Drink!: The Best Wines and Beers to Pair with Every Situation
by Diane McMartinWhat wine goes with your life? Any decent wine book can tell you what to drink with a grilled steak. But what’s the best wine to pair with a blind date? For watching the Oscars? For a big birthday? Written by Diane McMartin, this inspired drinking guide matches wines and beers to the significant—and not so significant—events in life. Binge-watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Try a Riesling—refreshing but with depth. Dumped a jerk? Celebrate with a sparkling rosé. Here are hundreds of unexpected recommendations delivered in a voice that is fresh, hip, full of attitude, and as solidly informative as it is entertaining. It’s everything you need to know to drink like an adult, even if you don’t always behave like one.