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Stupid Cupid
by Rhonda StapletonFelicity's no ordinary teen matchmaker...she's a cupid!Felicity Walker believes in true love. That's why she applies for a gig at the matchmaking company Cupid's Hollow. But when Felicity gets the job, she learns that she isn't just a matchmaker...she's a cupid! (There's more than one of them, you know.) Armed with a hot pink, tricked-out PDA infused with the latest in cupid magic (love arrows shot through email), Felicity works to meet her quota of successful matches. But when she bends the rules of cupidity by matching her best friend Maya with three different boys at once, disaster strikes. Felicity needs to come up with a plan to set it all right, pronto, before she gets fired ¦and before Maya ends up with her heart split in three.
Stupid History: Tales of Stupidity, Strangeness, and Mythconceptions Through the Ages (Stupid History Ser. #2)
by Leland GregoryA treasury of historical hilarity from the New York Times-bestselling coauthor of America&’s Dumbest Criminals! Why exactly is Paul Revere revered when it was Samuel Prescott who made the famous ride? Was the lightbulb really Thomas Edison&’s bright idea? Bestselling author and former Saturday Night Live writer Leland Gregory employs his masterful wit to expose historical myths, faux &“facts,&” strange events, and tales of human stupidity throughout history. You&’ll learn that: * Magellan didn&’t actually make it around the world * As a member of Parliament, Isaac Newton spoke only once, and it wasn&’t exactly a statement of political brilliance for the ages * On April 24, 1898, Spain declared war on the U.S., thus starting the Spanish-American War—and then the U.S. declared war the very next day, but not wanting to be outdone, had the date on the declaration changed from April 25 to April 21 With these and many more stories, Leland Gregory once again highlights the funny side of history.
Stupid Liberals: Weird and Wacky Tales from the Left Wing (Stupid History #13)
by Leland GregoryLeland Gregory's 17 previous humor collections with AMP are all in print and all are staples on the humor backlist, including Stupid American History, which was a New York Times best-seller, and Stupid History, which has shipped over 130,000 copies. Silly, shocking, weird, and hilariously funny, the one- or two-paragraph anecdotes that comprise Gregory's new anthology of stupid things said and done by American liberals--politicians, citizens, journalists, professionals, workers, anyone who stands to the left of center--are culled from print, online, and broadcast media from all over the world. Here's a sample: * Residents of Longmont, Colorado, voted to abolish all "Dead End" signs and replace them with "No Outlet" signs. The local citizenry felt the "Dead End" signs were too unpleasant.
Stupid Movie Lines: The 776 Dumbest Things Ever Uttered on the Silver Screen
by Ross Petras Kathryn PetrasThe creme de la crud of screen history "War! War! That's all you think of, Dick Plantagenet! You burner! You pillager!" --Virginia Mayo as Lady Edith to George Sanders in King Richard and the Crusaders (1954) "Visits? That would indicate visitors. " --Army captain learning of alien visits in Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959) "When I'm sitting here with you, I don't even think about the slime people. " --Hero to heroine in The Slime People (1962) "Suck the coffin mushroom now. " --The Ultimate Vampire (1991) "This is bad. " --Leonardo DiCaprio as the you-know-what hits the you-know-what in Titanic (1997)
Stupid on the Road: Idiots on Planes, Trains, Buses, and Cars (Stupid History #7)
by Leland GregoryThe bestselling chronicler of human stupidity shares tales of unruly passengers, dumb drivers, and the people who put the &“loco&” in locomotive . . . New York Times-bestselling author Leland Gregory presents a riotous collection of the unbelievably bizarre events and behavior that result when people strap themselves in for a ride. Gregory, who has so entertainingly highlighted humanity&’s stupidity in the areas of crime, business, love, politics, and more—now turns his attention to idiots on the road, on the rails, and in the air. From mind-boggling insurance claims (&“A pedestrian hit me and went under my car&”), to the cops who went after an erratic driver and found an iguana at the wheel, to the overweight woman who thought the airline purposely put a tag calling her &“FAT&” on her luggage (it was the airport code for Fresno), these true stories ranging from the horrifying to the hilarious will have you shaking your head at the misadventures that have occurred as people attempt to get from point A to point B.
Stupid Texas: Idiots in the Lone Star State (Stupid History #6)
by Leland GregoryNew York Times best-selling author Leland Gregory is definitely messing with Texas in his book Stupid Texas.This time, Leland--who has so entertainingly highlighted humanity's stupidity in the areas of crime, business, love, politics, cruelty, and history--collects evidence to prove the widespread belief that deep in the heart of Texans lies an extraordinary capacity for absurdity. Culled from print, online, and broadcast media, Stupid Texas is an uproarious collection of true stories, trivia, and factoids about the Lone Star State, such as:* "In 1875, James Stephen Hogg, the first native-born Texan to become the state's governor, named his daughter--Ima."* In 1984, a Texas District Court judge sentenced a 31-year-old Houston man to 35 years in prison--for stealing a 12-ounce, $2 can of Spam."Ridiculous, outrageous, bizarre, and comical, Stupid Texas is ideal for both kinds of people--those who love Texas and those who hate it.
The Stupidest Sports Book of All Time: Hilarious Blunders, Bloopers, Oddities, Quotes, and More from the World of Sports
by Ross Petras Kathryn PetrasThe thrill of victory! The agony of a tight jockstrap! It’s a celebration of true sports lunacy from the renowned connoisseurs of stupidity, Kathryn and Ross Petras, authors of the beloved 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said calendar. Here from the wide world of professional and amateur sports are the worst plays, most embarrassing achievements, surliest fans, lamest excuses, and wackiest mascot tricks. Plus history-making blowouts: Georgia Tech trounces Cumberland College 222–0. Freakiest injuries: Pitcher Joel Zamaya plays so much Guitar Hero he goes on the DL with tendonitis. Improbable memorabilia: Andre Agassi’s ponytail, Ty Cobb’s dentures. Looniest promotional giveaways: Win a free vasectomy! Bizarre sports from across the globe: Olympic solo synchronized swimming. And dubious superstitions: Baseball Hall of Famer Wade Boggs eats chicken before every game of his 18-year career. And, of course, quotes. From athletes: “We lost because we didn’t win.” (soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo). Coaches: “We were scoring, they were scoring. Then we stopped scoring and they kept scoring” (Cavaliers coach Tyronn Lue). And sportscasters: “Winfield goes back to the wall, he hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! It’s rolling all the way back to second base. This is a terrible thing for the Padres!” (announcer Jerry Coleman).
Stupidest Things Ever Said: Book of All-Time Stupidest Top 10 Lists (Page-a-day Calendars Ser.)
by Ross Petras Kathryn PetrasNot just stupidity, but obsessive stupidity! Not just random stupidity, but organized stupidity! Here, from the celebrated collectors of the stupidest things ever said, it’s the cre`me de la cre`me of stupidities, made even funnier and more compelling in an irresistible top 10 list format. Try one:The Top 10 Stupidest Actual Book Titles:1. A Toddler’s Guide to the Rubber Industry 2. Constipation and our Civilization 3. Greek Rural Postmen and Their Cancellation Numbers 4. The Secret of Sphincters 5. A Pictorial Book of Tongue Coating 6. Life and Laughter ’midst the Cannibals 7. Be Bold With Bananas 8. Hand-Grenade Throwing as a College Sport 9. Collect Fungi on Stamps10. A Study of Hospital Waiting Lists in Cardiff, 1953–1954Plus lost-in-translation moments. Doubles entendres. Political speeches, foreign menus, traffic signs. Celebrities on literature, on homelessness, on revealing too much about themselves. Mangled cliche´s and bizarre analogies, the wit of the witless and comedy of the clueless—never before have so many said something so dumb, now in one book.
The Stupids Take Off
by Harry Allard James MarshallWhile father Stanley Q. Stupid brushes his teeth one morning, a telegram arrives. "Egads I" cries Stanley, "Uncle Carbuncle is coming!" Mrs. Stupid lets out a bloodcurdling scream from the kitchen. Uncle Carbuncle is pretty strong medicine! To avoid their uncle, the family quickly takes offin an airplane piloted by their superb cat Xylophone. Join the Stupids on a vacation that only the truly daffy could survive. Flying will never be quite the same again! Other books about the Stupid family are available from Bookshare.
Stutterer Interrupted: The Comedian Who Almost Didn't Happen
by Nina G.Nina G bills herself as “The San Francisco Bay Area’s Only Female Stuttering Comedian.” On stage, she encounters the occasional heckler, but off stage she is often confronted with people’s comments toward her stuttering; listeners completing her sentences, inquiring, “Did you forget your name?” and giving unwanted advice like “slow down and breathe” are common. (As if she never thought about slowing down and breathing in her over thirty years of stuttering!) When Nina started comedy nearly ten years ago, she was the only woman in the world of stand-up who stuttered—not a surprise, since men outnumber women four to one amongst those who stutter and comedy is a male-dominated profession. Nina’s brand of comedy reflects the experience of many people with disabilities in that the problem with disability isn’t in the person with it but in a society that isn’t always accessible or inclusive.
Stutterer Interrupted: The Comedian Who Almost Didn't Happen
by Nina G.Nina G bills herself as “The San Francisco Bay Area’s Only Female Stuttering Comedian.” On stage, she encounters the occasional heckler, but off stage she is often confronted with people’s comments toward her stuttering; listeners completing her sentences, inquiring, “Did you forget your name?” and giving unwanted advice like “slow down and breathe” are common. (As if she never thought about slowing down and breathing in her over thirty years of stuttering!) When Nina started comedy nearly ten years ago, she was the only woman in the world of stand-up who stuttered—not a surprise, since men outnumber women four to one amongst those who stutter and comedy is a male-dominated profession. Nina’s brand of comedy reflects the experience of many people with disabilities in that the problem with disability isn’t in the person with it but in a society that isn’t always accessible or inclusive.
Style
by Joseph ConnollyTerence is sick of people making a fuss of Alexander. His looks. His money. His fame. Who wouldn't resent so successful a son? Even if he is only ten years old. Joseph Connolly's brilliant new comedy of manners weaves together a domestic tableaux of characters - those with old-fashioned manners, tabloid manners, and no manners at all - in a satire on oedipal envy, neighbourly rivalry and the shameless stupidity of our fame-fuelled society.
Style
by Joseph ConnollyTerence is sick of people making a fuss of Alexander. His looks. His money. His fame. Who wouldn't resent so successful a son? Even if he is only ten years old. Joseph Connolly's brilliant new comedy of manners weaves together a domestic tableaux of characters - those with old-fashioned manners, tabloid manners, and no manners at all - in a satire on oedipal envy, neighbourly rivalry and the shameless stupidity of our fame-fuelled society.
The Stylist: A Novel (The Amber Green Series #1)
by Rosie NixonIn the tradition of The Devil Wears Prada comes Rosie Nixon's debut novel, which follows a young woman who is thrown into the fast-paced world of fashion and glamour as she’s forced to navigate the treacherous Hollywood red carpets…while finding a fairytale love of her own.“A stylish, fun read, I absolutely loved it!”—Jackie CollinsAmber Green loves working at Smith’s, London’s ultra-exclusive boutique frequented by everyone who’s anyone, including Mona Armstrong, the stylist to the stars. She is fierce, demanding, and can make or break a career with a snap of her manicured nails. When Mona’s latest assistant walks out and with awards season arriving faster than you can say “Rodeo Drive”, Amber finds herself agreeing to work for one of the most infamous—and volatile—women in Hollywood. And the stars aren’t much better. Amber’s life is turned inside out as she becomes familiar with all Hollywood has to offer, on and off the red carpet. As she begins to enjoy life in the dressing rooms of the hottest stars, Amber discovers she’s the one in the spotlight when she catches the attention of two very different men. But Mona’s behavior is growing increasingly erratic and unless Amber can out-style everyone in Hollywood, she’s in danger of being Mona’s latest fashion victim.
The Stylist Takes Manhattan: A Novel (The Amber Green Series #2)
by Rosie NixonPraise for The Stylist: “A hilarious vicarious red carpet romp.” — People“A master of slapstick comedy, Nixon keeps the pace fast and the tone bubbly... Nixon deftly crafts a Cinderella story for the millennial age in which our heroine finds not only her prince, but also her true friends. Glossy and teeming with influencers and fashionistas, this is a charming novel.” — Kirkus Reviews“No sophomore slump for Nixon; the second in the series is just as good as the first, and readers who fell for the first installment will do the same with this one. Bringing back her beloved characters and introducing new ones, Nixon depicts the glamorous and sometimes not-so-glamorous behind-the-scenes workings of New York City’s fashion industry, from botched baby photo shoots to secret “bag lady” drops.” — Library Journal
Subculture Vulture: A Memoir in Six Scenes
by Moshe KasherA &“hilarious&” (Dax Shepard), &“surprisingly emotional trip&” (The Chainsmokers) through deep American subcultures ranging from Burning Man to Alcoholics Anonymous, by the writer and comedian Moshe Kasher &“Part history lesson, part standup set and, often, part love letter . . . Kasher&’s ability to blend humor with homework works almost too well.&”—The New York TimesAfter bottoming out, being institutionalized, and getting sober all by the tender age of fifteen, Moshe Kasher found himself asking: &“What&’s next?&” Over the ensuing decades, he discovered the answer: a lot.There was his time as a boy-king of Alcoholics Anonymous, a kind of pubescent proselytizer for other teens getting and staying sober. He was a rave promoter turned DJ turned sober ecstasy dealer in San Francisco&’s techno warehouse party scene of the 1990s. For fifteen years he worked as a psychedelic security guard at Burning Man, fishing hippies out of hidden chambers they&’d constructed to try to sneak into the event. As a child of deaf parents, Kasher became deeply immersed in deaf culture and sign language interpretation, translating everything from end-of-life care to horny deaf clients&’ attempts to hire sex workers. He reconnects and tries to make peace with his ultra-Hasidic Jewish upbringing after the death of his father before finally settling into the comedy scene where he now makes his living.Each of these scenes gets a gonzo historiographical rundown before Kasher enters the narrative and tells the story of the lives he has spent careening from one to the next. A razor-sharp, gut-wrenchingly funny, and surprisingly moving tour of some of the most wildly distinct subcultures a person can experience, Subculture Vulture deftly weaves together memoir and propulsive cultural history. It&’s a story of finding your people, over and over again, in different settings, and of knowing without a doubt that wherever you are is where you&’re supposed to be.
The Subject Steve: A Novel
by Sam LipsyteThe dazzling debut novel from the author of The Ask and Home Land, Sam Lipsyte's The Subject Steve is by turns manic, ebullient, and exquisitely deadpan—and belongs in the company with the master American satirists.Meet Steve (not his real name), a Special Case, in truth, a Terminal Case, and the eponymous antihero of Lipsyte's first novel. Steve has been informed by two doctors that he is dying of a condition of unquestioned fatality, with no discernible physical cause. Eager for fame, and to brand the new plague, they dub it Goldfarb-Blackstone Preparatory Extinction Syndrome, or PREXIS for short. Turns out, though, Steve's just dying of boredom.
Submarine
by Joe DunthorneBONUS: This edition contains an excerpt from Joe Dunthorne's Wild Abandon.At once a self-styled social scientist, a spy in the baffling adult world, and a budding, hormone-driven emotional explorer, Oliver Tate is stealthily nosing his way forward through the murky and uniquely perilous waters of adolescence. His objectives? Uncovering the secrets behind his parents' teetering marriage, unraveling the mystery that is his alluring and equally quirky classmate Jordana Bevan, and understanding where he fits in among the mystifying beings in his orbit. Struggling to buoy his parents' wedded bliss, deep-six his own virginity, and sound the depths of heartache, happiness, and the business of being human, what's a lad to do? Poised precariously on the cusp of innocence and experience, Oliver Tate aims to damn the torpedoes and take the plunge.Now a major motion picture. powers of imagination-in order to put things right again. But a covert expedition into the mysterious territory of middle-aged malaise is bound to be tricky business for a teenager with more to learn about the agonies and ecstasies of life than a pocket thesaurus and his "worldly" school chum Chips can teach him. Ready or not, however, Oliver is about to get a crash course. His awkwardly torrid and tender relationship with Jordana is hurtling at the speed of teenage passion toward the inevitable magic moment . . . and whatever lies beyond. And his boy-detective exploits have set him on a collision course with the New Age old flame who's resurfaced in his mother's life to lead her into temptation with lessons in surfing, self-defense . . . and maybe seduction. Struggling to buoy his parents' wedded bliss, deep-six his own virginity, and sound the depths of heartache, happiness, and the business of being human, what's a lad to do? Poised precariously on the cusp of innocence and experience, yesterday's daydreams and tomorrow's decisions, Oliver Tate aims to damn the torpedoes and take the plunge.From the Hardcover edition.
Submerged (Virago Modern Classics #40)
by A.L. BarkerA.L. Barker dissects the unnerving emotions of everyday life with the sly humour and exquisite feel for language that prompted Auberon Waugh to declare that she 'writes like an angel and I love her'.In this, her tenth collection of stories, she unfolds tales of cunning, fancy, and shifting alliances. Here a young boy fosters grand illusions; a wife faces broken promises; a dutiful committee woman meets a sparky old gentleman; a witch is drowned; an intruder insinuates himself into a lonely woman's holiday; and commonplace superstition mingles effortlessly with submerged desire.
Subpar Parks: America's Most Extraordinary National Parks and Their Least Impressed Visitors
by Amber Share**A New York Times Bestseller!** Based on the wildly popular Instagram account, Subpar Parks features both the greatest hits and brand-new content, all celebrating the incredible beauty and variety of America&’s national parks juxtaposed with the clueless and hilarious one-star reviews posted by visitors. Subpar Parks, both on the popular Instagram page and in this humorous, informative, and collectible book, combines two things that seem like they might not work together yet somehow harmonize perfectly: beautiful illustrations and informative, amusing text celebrating each national park paired with the one-star reviews disappointed tourists have left online. Millions of visitors each year enjoy Glacier National Park, but for one visitor, it was simply "Too cold for me!" Another saw the mind-boggling vistas of Bryce Canyon as "Too spiky!" Never mind the person who visited the thermal pools at Yellowstone National Park and left thinking, &“Save yourself some money, boil some water at home.&” Featuring more than 50 percent new material, the book will include more depth and insight into the most popular parks, such as Yosemite, Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon, and Acadia National Parks; anecdotes and tips from rangers; and much more about author Amber Share's personal love and connection to the outdoors. Equal parts humor and love for the national parks and the great outdoors, it's the perfect gift for anyone who loves to spend time outside as well as have a good read (and laugh) once they come indoors.
Subpar Planet: The World's Most Celebrated Landmarks and Their Most Disappointed Visitors
by Amber ShareNew York Times bestselling author and illustrator of Subpar Parks Amber Share takes us around the globe to celebrate the world&’s greatest wonders alongside hysterical reviews from their harshest critics.The world is filled with marvels—both natural and human-made— and artist Amber Share has made it her mission to capture the unique majesty of these sites alongside reactions from some of their most vocal visitors. The Dead Sea? &“Who needs burning eyes?&” Who indeed? Big Ben? &“Just a really big clock.&” Go figure. With Share's classic spin on visitors&’ candidly cranky reviews of each location, Subpar Planet fills skeptical travelers with a wanderlust for the world's most spectacular features, including the Eiffel Tower, the Taj Mahal, the Great Barrier Reef, Chichén Itzá, the Sahara, and many more! Equal parts hilarious and informative, Subpar Planet is perfect for seasoned globe-trotters, people interested in broadening their worldly horizons, and anyone who simply wants to see the unique ways their fellow human beings interact with the world around them.
The Subprimes: A Novel
by Karl Taro GreenfeldA wickedly funny dystopian parody set in a financially apocalyptic future America, from the critically acclaimed author of Triburbia.In a future America that feels increasingly familiar, you are your credit score. Extreme wealth inequality has created a class of have-nothings: Subprimes. Their bad credit ratings make them unemployable. Jobless and without assets, they’ve walked out on mortgages, been foreclosed upon, or can no longer afford a fixed address. Fugitives who must keep moving to avoid arrest, they wander the globally warmed American wasteland searching for day labor and a place to park their battered SUVs for the night.Karl Taro Greenfeld’s trenchant satire follows the fortunes of two families whose lives reflect this new dog-eat-dog, survival-of-the-financially-fittest America. Desperate for work and food, a Subprime family has been forced to migrate east, hoping for a better life. They are soon joined in their odyssey by a writer and his family—slightly better off, yet falling fast. Eventually, they discover a small settlement of Subprimes who have begun an agrarian utopia built on a foreclosed exurb. Soon, though, the little stability they have is threatened when their land is targeted by job creators for shale oil extraction.But all is not lost. A hero emerges, a woman on a motorcycle—suspiciously lacking a credit score—who just may save the world.In The Subprimes, Karl Taro Greenfeld turns his keen and unflinching eye to our country today—and where we may be headed. The result is a novel for the 99 percent: a darkly funny comedy about paradise lost and found, the value of credit, economic policy, and the meaning of family.
Substitute Fiancée
by Lee WilkinsonBlaze Rawdon is convinced Francesca has a guilty secret…and when his new fiancée disappears on the eve of their engagement party, Blaze ruthlessly blackmails Francesca into becoming a temporary stand-in.Francesca is forced to play along—only, she can’t afford to fall in love with Blaze. Their brief affair three years ago ended in tears, and Francesca is determined that although she may be his substitute fiancée, she’ll resist becoming Blaze’s bride!
Substitute Me
by Lori TharpsZora Anderson is a 30-year-old African American middle class, college educated woman, trained as a chef, looking for a job. As fate would have it, Kate and Craig, a married couple, aspiring professionals with a young child are looking for a nanny.Zora seems perfect. She's an enthusiastic caretaker, a competent house keeper, a great cook. And she wants the job, despite the fact that she won't let her African American parents and brother know anything about this new career move. They expect much more from her than to use all that good education to do what so many Blacks have dreamed of not doing: working for White folks. Working as an au pair in Paris, France no less, was one thing, they could accept that. Being a servant to a couple not much older nor more educated, is yet another. Every adult character involved in this tangled web is hiding something: the husband is hiding his desire to turn a passion for comic books into a business from his wife, the wife is hiding her professional ambitions from her husband, the nanny is hiding her job from her family and maybe her motivations for staying on her job from herself.Memorable characters, real-life tensions and concerns and the charming--in a hip kind of way--modern-day Park Slope, Fort Greene, Brooklyn setting make for an un-put-down-able read.
The Substitute Teacher from the Black Lagoon (Black Lagoon Adventures)
by Mike ThalerIt's another scary day at the Black Lagoon. . . .Mrs. Green is out sick and Hubie's class is going to have a sub! The students are ready to party all day...until they meet Mr. Frank N. Stein! Join Hubie once again as he faces his comically horrific fears during his first class with a substitute teacher. Featuring a nine-foot-tall teacher who crashes through walls and hurls students into outer space, this story is sure to amuse and quell fears of new experiences at the same time!